 Well, hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Asley of JonathanAsley.com and I'm so excited to be shooting this live stream for you today. Our topic, the three reasons why men are less likely to commit and it has nothing to do with you. We're gonna talk about those three reasons why men over 40 are less likely to commit and has nothing to do with you. Really quickly, if you're new to my YouTube channel, please hit the subscribe button, hit the bell so you can be notified of new content. And if at the end of this video, this content resonates with you, I want you to check out all the links in the description. You can schedule a free discovery call with me. You can join my fantastic group called Midlife Love Mastery. I even have links to my podcast and a pre-gift and so forth. All right. So listen, this is an impromptu video on a Saturday. I'm bored as hell. I'm sitting on my balcony and so please forgive the barking crows, the seals and the noise at the pool where I live. All right. So we're gonna talk about those three reasons why men over 40 are less likely to commit and it really has nothing to do with you. And by the way, before I forget, this is a Q&A so you can ask questions. Give me a chance to share the content first and then post questions. And I wanna say hi to all those that are live streaming right now. Thank you. All right. Reason number one, and I want you to differentiate between men in their 20s and 30s versus men in their 40s, 50s, 60s and even 70s. The vast majority of men in their 40s, 50s, 60s and 70s who are single out there in the dating realm are divorced. In fact, roughly about 75% of singles looking for love after the age of 45, men and women are like, are divorced. And divorce brings a whole set of stuff into the equation that isn't the same for a 20 and 30 year old who has most likely never been married. And one of those differences is that when men in their 20s and 30s, they're oftentimes, if they've been conditioned this way, they've been conditioned to be on the hunt for a wife. Let me repeat that. They're on the hunt for a wife. So one of the differences in men in their 40s, 50s and 60s is that they're less likely to be committal because they're not on that search for a wife. And that wife represents the person who's gonna be the mother of their children. It's gonna be the person that they build a home with. And when we turn 40, and now when we're in our 40s, 50s and 60s, and since the vast majority of people are divorced, they are actually less likely to get remarried if they've had a stigma around marriage. Let me repeat that. They're less likely to get married if they have a stigma around marriage and they're not on the same biological clock if you will for hunting for a wife. Now I say biological clock. It's not the same as the biological clock for women. It's more the, let me retract the word biological and socialized clock. Let me reframe that to a socialized clock. And what I mean is like when I was growing up and I'm a product of my parents, I'm a baby boomer, I'm a product of that, was my parents the silent generation? Maybe that's what it was. I was conditioned to graduate high school, go to college, go to college, go to college. After college, get a job, get a job, get a job. After getting a job is meet a girl, meet a girl, meet a girl or woman. Get married, buy a house, start a family. I was programmed to be on the hunt for a wife. I was conditioned that way. And a lot of men raised kind of middle class the way I was was raised that way. And not every man was raised that way, but the vast majority have been raised and conditioned that way. Now, if you grew up in a broken home, if you grew up with trauma in your home, if you grew up with a lot of dysfunction, you might not necessarily, those 20 and 30 year olds might be less apprehensive. But I think in a long enough timeline, I believe somewhere around 87% of people eventually get married in a long enough timeline. That's anecdotal, I'm gonna ask someone to do some research on that for me. So, if a man isn't on a hunt for a wife, he's less likely to be committal because the concept of a wife comes with it that concept of home. And so all I'm saying is it's not that men are non-committal after age 40, but they don't have the same drive if they're not on the hunt for a wife. Now, men that ride at the age 40 might be on the cusp because nowadays men are waiting longer to marry and start a family, but certainly when we get into midlife, and that's certainly after baby making years and before retirement, is that segment that I'm talking about. And they're just less likely. And again, this has nothing to do with you. I hope this is making sense, okay? So, I haven't read the comments yet because I don't have my glasses on, but I wanna get to number two. And number two is, what did I write down for number two? Oh, this is a very common reason why so many men are non-committal in midlife is that there's chaos going on in their life. There's chaos going on in their life. After my divorce, there was so much trauma and chaos. I was going through a contentious divorce. I had lost my quarter million dollar a year job. The market crash of 2008 wiped me out. I was a train wreck. Oh my God, I was doing drugs. I was doing drinking heavily to numb the pain. I was self-medicating. And all that self-medication made me a terrible potential partner, except, and yet I was out there on the hunt because I wanted companionship. I wanted connection with someone. I wanted sex with someone, but that didn't mean I was ready for commitment. So if a man has chaos going on in his life, maybe it's job issues, maybe it's a contentious divorce, maybe it's medical issues, maybe it's family issues, maybe it's a child issue. Anytime there's an overwhelming amount of chaos, a man is less likely to commit. And this has, again, nothing to do with you. And yet ladies, I know a lot of you are beautiful, wonderful, you know, God, I was gonna say the word enabler, but you're very nurturing to men who are in this state of chaos, hoping that if you stand by them, that they'll actually heal with you, but that's not always the case. And my invitation for you is not to overly invest when someone has a lot of chaos going on in their life. Fixing my camera. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? I hope so. Okay, and the third reason, the third reason, and this is a predominant reason, again, for those that have, who are divorced, is that they had a very contentious divorce, a very contentious divorce, and they might still be dealing with a contentious wife or spouse. And because of that, they might actually have a fear of future commitment if they had such a bad experience. Now, it could be a divorce, it could be a bad breakup, but if someone's had a bad, previous experience, they're less likely to commit if they haven't healed. In fact, all three of these require a level of healing. But this requires the most deepest of healing if one has literally turned their back on partnership and commitment because of past experiences. I know so many women who react this exact same way. They're less likely to commit because they've been burned in the past and they become oftentimes not always bitter and jaded to the process. And I'm here to say that there's time for a new narrative. Now, I started this video basically saying the why. Now, what's the positive in all of this? What's most important to recognize why this happens is when you understand why something happens, you can predict behavior. I'm gonna repeat that, you can predict behavior and if you can predict behavior, you can begin to make better choices. And that's what I'm really here to shine a light on is to encourage all of you to begin to make better choices when it comes to choosing who you're going to invest time in because our time is ultra precious. Although right now I'm bored as hell, so I'm doing this. I guess my time isn't that precious. It's actually because I wanna give is why I'm doing this. And when I say I'm bored, I'm about, look it, I'm sitting, there, look it, this is the view I'm looking at right now. So if you can see that, I am about to go for a walk along the beach. That's the pool area that I live in. Isn't that awesome? So anyway, I'm not that pathetic, but I am gonna go for a walk. It's a gorgeous day. I did have a COVID test yesterday. I came back negative, so I feel safe now as I was feeling a little under the weather. But my invitation for you is to recognize that most men aren't really, a lot of times we blame ourselves when someone's non-committal. And what my invitation for all of you is to look at his life and to see what could be going on in his life that makes him less committal and then ask yourself, do you wanna invest in that person? All right, I'm gonna start looking at the Q and A right now to answer questions, but I am gonna do a trivia question before we get started. So our first trivia question, oh, this is a good one, is, in the movie, The 500 Days of Summer, which band is Tom listening to when he first meets Summer? I'm gonna repeat that. In The 500 Days of Summer, which band is Tom listening to when he first meets Summer? Let's see if any one of you get this right. All right, now I'm gonna look at the Q and A because it's time to ask questions. Let's see. Leaf writes, right on point, job, toxic, bitter, exes, children, they need to do work on themselves first. Yes, that's true for men and women alike. Everyone's saying hi. Because of my dad in his 70s, he did things you describe, went to school and got married, hunt for a wife, exactly, Artie. You love my Batman t-shirt, thank you so much. Oh my God, check out my new mug. Let's just say let that shit go. All right, everyone, please ask questions. This is the Q and A time. Thank you so much, I appreciate you enjoying my view. All right, please jump in. By the way, if this live stream is making a difference, please hit that like button. I want more people, if you hit that like button right now, I want to see that like counter go up so more people can start watching this. Okay, someone said they'd like to join me here. Thank you so much, I really appreciate that. Thank you so much, I really appreciate that. I'm living in Redondo Beach. I welcome anyone who wants to come down to come visit me. Just give me a heads up. Okay, please post a question. Ladies, this is the best part is I get to dig into your questions. I've got the next 30 minutes to jump in. All right, thank you, you love my Batman t-shirt. Thank you, I appreciate that, Artie. All right, please, please, please hit that like button and ask a question. Come on, someone ask a question. What kind of questions can we talk about? Listen, look, I recognize that dating is a fucking pain in the ass. I mean, let's just get real. You know, I'm a little bit tired of the coaches out there that make it just seem so beautiful and so wonderful. You can just be in your queen energy and men are gonna earn you because they're just so wonderful because men are just gonna claim you and be chivalrous. Let's get real. It's a cluster fuck out there. Human beings are dysfunctional. I mean, let's just get real. Men and women alike, this is the vast majority of the population is literally dysfunctional. Maybe that sounds pessimistic, I don't know. It's just how I view the dating realm because I hear complaint after complaint after complaint. It's just such victim consciousness that makes me so sad. This is why when I wrote my book what the heck is self love? Anyway, I want everyone to first focus on the journey of oneself because the best relationship here, if you're gonna commit to anyone, commit to yourself first. Make that the first relationship and that springboard you into every potential relationship out thereafter. So when we work on ourselves, it doesn't matter whether or not we have a life partner in our life. It'd be great to share our lives with someone but you feel fulfilled anyway and that's my invitation for you. Look, I see questions coming in so let me put on my glasses and now answer. Okay, Sassy writes, many women do, oh, let's go back here, slow down. Many women do extensive work on themselves. However, most men are less self aware and less enthusiastic to do the work. Sassy, that is absolutely incorrect. That is incorrect. Men and women by far equally do about the same amount of personal development work. Men tend to do it more centered around their career. Women tend to do it more centered around relationships. Women are more relationship oriented. Men do personal development more on their career. But here's the fantasy. Lesson, 5% of the population does personal development work anyway. So if you happen to be in that 5%, the reality is is 95% of the population does little or no true deep introspective work. And I'm talking about deep diving into doing therapy. Now, by the way, that percentage probably has increased to 10%. And maybe even 15%, but it's a very small percentage. So when you say women do more, yeah. Maybe in that, maybe 8% of women do it and 5% of women men do it. Okay, yes, it's double what the men are doing. Women are doing double. But it's still 90% of women are just as dysfunctional as men. So let's not make this a man or woman thing. Let's just recognize that emotional maturity is lacking in the vast majority of the population, especially in the area of relationship because most people have such poor communication skills. Men and women alike, women, just because they study stuff that doesn't make them any better just because you have a Deepak Chopra book on your nightstand. If it's not highlighted and pages torn and everything, as an example, just because you have it doesn't mean you're really doing the work. This is why I highly recommend reading the book. Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. It should have been called Compassionate Communication, but this is what I wanna invite you to do right now is to lean into a more compassionate way to communicate with one another. All right, let's see what else is written so far. So the future last week is sex after... Okay, S of the future last week is sex after six dates too soon. Georgina, Georgia, look it, you can have sex on the first date, you can have sex after marriage. Sex isn't the precursor whether or not the... Well, actually having a great sex life is gonna be extremely important to the success of the relationship. When you have sex, isn't any... Look, I know people that have had sex on the first date happily married for 30 years. I know people that waited to get married and they got divorced a month later. So I'm not, you know, I don't like to pigeonhole timelines of when to have sex. I certainly believe have sex... Okay, I have an acronym for sex. It's called CARES, C-A-R-E-S, C-A-R-E-S. The C stands for have sex when you feel comfortable. The A stands for be aware of the consequences. In other words, if you attach too quickly with someone, then be aware of that. The R stands for learn their, his real intentions. In other words, is he serious about a committed relationship or have you just known him for 30 minutes and you just jumped in the bed with him? You may wanna learn his real intentions. The E stands for if you're gonna have regular sex with someone, be exclusive, be exclusive. And lastly, the S stands for safety. Safety, be safe, whether it's condom, checking, you know, checking STDs, but when you feel safe, it's CARES, C-A-R-E-S, hope that syncs in. Is it, okay, Kim writes, is it wise to be a friend with a man you used to date but you're, you've established there isn't any more than friends between you? You know, is it wise, I mean, what does wise mean? If it really, you have to look at what could be the problems and addressing problems. Does someone want to, if someone is pining for you and you just wanna be friends, that can be an issue. You could have been in a relationship with someone and now it's converted to friends. Like my relationship with Sherry, we're family to one another. We treat each other as friends, but she's in a loving, juicy, delicious relationship with someone. I'm friends with her partner now. I don't know, I don't like making up rules. Here's the rule I want you to make up for yourself. Do what's right for you. That's the most important rule, Kim. Okay, Teresa writes, I'm a caretaker by nature sometimes. Wait, I'm a caretaker by nature as well. Yes, I tend to be an enabler as well. How do I identify our blind spots? Artie, that's what I do in my private coaching. When a woman works with me, my job is to actually date you during my boot camp. I date you literally to see what your blind spots are to identify that. It's hard for me to do this in the vacuum of a YouTube video. It helps if I actually can interview you in real time. Okay, by the way, hit that like button if you're liking this, if you're just joining. The more likes, the more people get to see this. Okay. Shelly writes, I have a flirtatious friendship and I do have a crush on him. He hasn't asked me out yet. Should I make the move? Yes, yes, yes. Let's jump ladies. Don't be afraid to ask a guy out. There's this whole stupid bullshit hierarchy that men are chivalrous and they must claim you. Think about the word claiming. Claiming is claiming property. We don't claim a human being. So why not make the effort say, hey, I like you. I'd like us to go out for coffee. I'd like to go out for a drink and develop a connection with them. And if there's sexual attraction, boom, there's a chance that it might take off. If there's no sexual attraction, it's probably not. Make the move. It isn't gonna shrink his penis. His balls aren't going to shrink up because you made the move. This whole bullshit that emasculates men. Ugh, if a woman asked me out, I'm flattered. Now, if I'm attracted to her, I say yes. If I'm not attracted, I say thank you. It's as simple as that, but it doesn't shrink my penis when a woman makes a move. Hope that helps, Shelley. I did therapy for three times a week for eight months. Great, I do therapy every day of my life for at least 15 minutes. My invitation is everybody do a daily regimen of personal development, self-help, and spiritual work. I don't wanna discount the three times a week for eight months, but what I do wanna say is beyond the eight months do have a regular practice of self-love. That's my invitation for you. Artie writes, I heard from an influencer is that when a person does not have money, it's hard to take time to do inner work. What do you think? By the way, books cost 15 bucks. My book's $11.99, you can grade. So if someone doesn't have $15 a month to buy the books that I recommend, to buy the books that I recommend, to invest themselves, then you know what? Do a go fund me and ask for some help. Go to your friends, ask for some help. Spend $15 a month reading one book a month, and I promise you in one year, you're gonna be a different person, and it only cost you $180, and everybody has $180. I don't care what they say. Damn, I'm part of that small percentage, I'm proud. Emotional maturity is definitely lacking in the way that I do things. I'm lacking in both men and especially women who sometimes expect men to read their minds. Yes, arty, ladies, stop expecting men to read your minds. This is one of your biggest problems. By the way, I talk to women the way I do, and I yell because I just wanna get your attention. But this whole fear around speaking up to men is ruining your chances for a juicy, delicious relationship. Chapter one in my book, Speak Your Truth. Do it with kindness. And then later on in my book, if it's sincere and from the heart, you can never say the wrong thing to the right person. And there's a lot of other juicy, delicious things here in my book, check out the link to my book right below. And I've got all my recommended books there. Do me a favor, please hit this like, the like button so more people can start seeing this. My feet are freezing right now. Oh, by the way, Joy got it right. The song is by the Smiths. Did you look that up? Did you look that up? Be honest, Joy. All right, Sassy, I make this comment because most of the people watching dating coaches are women. Oh, I gotcha. Sassy, now that makes sense. Yeah, you know what? Women dating coaches see everything from the perspective. In my opinion, very few, okay, there's dating coaches out there, most of the women dating coaches are teaching what I call princess energy. This feminine energy is what I call princess energy. In other words, you're such a queen that a man does all the work and you just sit back and receive and let him do all the work. My coaching is a little different. It's more based on what the Buddha, if the Buddha dated, if the Buddha dated, which is a spiritual way to date, which means that there is no penis or vagina. There is no gender. It's how do you date from the heart? This is why recently someone complained about one of my videos where I talked about women investing in the dating process financially at the same rate that men do. She's like, no, I expect men to pay for everything. You know, when you create an expectation that somebody is supposed to do something because you expect it, you're already setting yourself up for failure. And this is why my, I don't wanna call it advice. This is merely my perspective. You take it for what it's worth, okay? If it resonates with you, great. If it doesn't, that's okay too. Take it in and decide for yourself if this is right for you. By the way, really quickly, guess who joined me today? Salty, Salty for those who know my son who passed away Connor, his nickname is Salty. And so I named this stuff animal Salty. And I just wanted to let you know that he said hi. We're gonna take another question from the movie quiz. And our question is, who stars alongside Jennifer Lopez in the wedding planner? Who stars alongside Jennifer Lopez in the wedding planner? Let's see if you can get that one right. All right, let's see what other questions. Let's see. Mia writes, the guy I was dating for four months, ghost and said, sad thing is that I liked him a lot. What's your advice? You know, I'm shocked somebody absolutely stops contacting after four months. So my question is, were you in a relationship where you were seeing each other on a regular basis? You were having regular sex. Were you doing social activities, hobbies or mutual interests, spending time with family and friends? Or was this a four month relationship that was mostly spent over the phone with very little physical contact with one another? Most, my guess is it's the latter and what do you do when someone ghost you? You didn't have a real relationship to begin with. So why don't you describe the type of relationship and tell me what happened right before it? He stopped contacting you and I bet you the answer is right there. Okay, Lydia, Leanna writes, how do you know when you've healed enough to date again? Okay, great question. How do you know when you've healed enough to date again? The minute you begin the healing, you can go out there and date. The minute you address your childhood wounds and traumas, you can go out and date. As long as you're addressing your childhood wounds and adult traumas, it's absolutely okay to date because the dating process is going to trigger a lot of stuff and when you're in the mode of working on your stuff, you can do it with someone else. You don't have to have your love cup totally filled to be able to date, just so long as you're beginning to do the work. That's why I highly recommend doing two things. Reading the book, the Hoffman process, the Hoffman process to a death, address childhood wounds and traumas to heal from them and then if you're dating someone, start reading the book together. The minute the penis gets to go inside the vagina, you start reading the book eight dates and say, hey, if we're gonna begin exploring a relationship together, let's find this foundational piece to help us make it a reality, all right? All right, hit that like button. We want more people to be able to join us, yay. Okay, I hope this is sinking in. Please let me know if it is. Okay, Deanna writes, I fell for a guy I was dating for a couple months until he told me that his heart was not into it but he wanted to continue dating because he did not wanna regret not having tried hard enough. You know, here's the challenge with that. He probably absolutely recognizes you're a great woman and so he's having a battle between his possible issues going on in his life and he thinks you're a great woman and he doesn't wanna give it up but he hasn't crossed over and that crossover most likely is because he has stuff going on in his life, as I said before, that makes it difficult for him to commit. My invitation for you is to cut to the quick, be with men who want to explore a relationship with you and if after three months, it's not leaning towards a relationship then my invitation is to move on and let him work on his stuff on his own time or have real conversations reading the book eight dates and see if it shifts the narrative. Try that first, maybe even go to couples therapy and then see about moving on. All right, Stacey, I'm laughing my ass off. Thank you, Rosalind says we need to be proactive in the dating realm, exactly. Leanne, love it. I do a daily learning therapy, great. Stacey writes, yes, I do self love every day, yay. I don't know how to say all these names. Just bought my book, thank you so much. I'm giving you a big check out of the bear hunt. By the way, this is the back cover of the book. Thank you, please write a review as well. Jen Amber, my amazing client. Ah, I hope it's okay, I said that. What to do when you're so confident because you're being coached by John? Oh, it's okay, you said that. Oh my God, Jen is a client. Gorgeous woman, got her shit together. I mean, I love coaching her because she's so receptive. I know within the next, I know in a short period of time, she's gonna meet a great guy because she's literally put herself in the vortex, put herself in the vortex after going through my proprietary program where she is literally opening the floodgates to great guys coming their life. And let me just say this, I said this earlier, dating is a clusterfuck out there. This is why working with a really good coach and not this princess energy coach shit, you know, a really good coach is gonna help you identify your blind spots, but also it puts the odds in your favor of attracting a great guy. So check out a link to a free discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. Thanks, Jen, great to see you. Kim writes, did you see my comment yesterday? Kim, no, I did not, I apologize. Matthew McConaughey, correct, you got that right. The answer to the trivia question. Okay, all right. Hell no, I'm not princess. I pull my own weight in relationship. Way to go, Stacy. All right, let's see. No, it was not refined a long time ago. Do you do videos the other way around one time? Do your videos the other way around one time so we can see the beautiful boats in the water? I just showed it before, but I'll turn it before I wrap up today. How do you know when you've reached a healthy self-love level? Okay, great, great, great, great, great question. Oh my God, my hair is a mess right now. Okay, I've been doing a lot of self-love work on myself. I've been doing a ton of personal development work on myself and I'm still just crouching the surface. I say this because the other day I did something stupid. I accidentally did something stupid with a woman and I was so beating myself up. Oh my God, beating, beating, beating myself up for saying something stupid. Thank God it was confidential because the cancel culture, and I didn't say anything that stupid, the cancel culture would have killed me. I just, I said something, and then my point is I canceled myself. I beat myself up. So I do a ton of work on myself and I'm still improving. What's most important, begin the process. My book, towards the end. Look it, I'm gonna share something with you all. Towards the end of my book, oh, there's a picture of Connor. In honor of Connor, there's Connor, my son who passed away. Salty. But I list all the journey. The first book I ever read. You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. The next book, Creative Visualization by Shakti Gwani. The movie, The Secret, the movie, What the Bleak? Return to Love by Marianne Williamson. The Four Agreements, The Untethered Soul. I list the great resources to begin your journey. So it doesn't matter, you don't have to get there, you just have to be doing the work. That's my invitation for you. Okay, Wendy writes, my philosophy on spending money is if I occasionally share some of the expense, we can do more things together. My philosophy on spending money is if I occasionally share some of the expense, we can do more things together. I'm a big proponent of mutual exchange, it's mutual exchange, you're both equally investing. That's my invitation, take it for what it's worth. Sassy writes, Jonathan, I think you're teaching conscious dating, exactly. Which pulls in spiritual principles and personal evaluations, wait a minute. Personal evaluations, how should we weed them out who we can evolve in relationship? You know what's interesting? This book called The Rules, The Rules is all reverse psychology bullshit that ruins relationships because you temporarily get into a relationship with someone based on reverse psychology and it doesn't work. This is why you have to read the book if you want a long lasting relationship if the Buddha dated and then read the book. You've got to read this book, How to Make Love All the Time by Barbara DeAngeles if you want a juicy, delicious, healthy, happy relationship, that's how you evolve. Thank you, Sassy. Stacy writes, I love your channel. Okay, Jean writes, I'm falling for a 44 year old man but he's married, but we are in a relationship if this man is 44. Okay, I'm married, Jane, I don't understand what you're saying. Are you falling for a married man? If you're falling for a married man, no, no, no, no, stop, stop, stop, stop. Don't fall for a married man. Thank you. Amazing content, thank you, Leigh Ann or Leah, ah, fucking Lee. Shelly writes, I appreciate your perspective. Leigh Ann writes, I lost my career because of COVID and I'm applying for new jobs, doing interviews, but it makes me feel like I shouldn't date because of it. How much does that matter to men? I think this could be a big deal. I think what's most important because it's most likely going to make you less confident within yourself and if you're lacking confidence, then it's going to show. Work on your shoring up your life so you can be in a position to join with a partner because my only concern is if you are emotionally beating yourself up because of where you're at in your life, I'm not saying you are, but if you are, it's not a good time to date someone. Shore up your self-love, work on establishing your foundation and then put yourself out there. Greetings from San Diego, thank you. Jennifer writes, some of those princess energy coaches are unrealistic, yes. Learning is a lifetime process, yes. I look awesome in my glasses, thank you. Okay, stick woman writes, I'm 67, he's 70 and one and a half years so, one and a half years so far. He wants to take it very slow. He's committed, he has committed, thank heaven. We are always happy together and believe in investing, but he has a bad experience before me. Well, you're kind of contradicting yourself. He's committed, thank heaven. We are always happy, great. We believe in investing, great, but he had a bad experience, so he had a bad experience. Is he having a good experience with you? That's what matters most. A juicy, delicious relationship together. Now, does that mean he's gonna go the distance? Who knows? Enjoy your life in the moment right now, you're 67. Look it, you don't, you can break up with him because it's not perfect and put yourself out there and wait five more years or enjoy it with him now and just enjoy the ride. We don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow. He could die tomorrow, you could die tomorrow. Look, I lost my son, everyone. Nothing is guaranteed. Enjoy it, if it's good, enjoy it. All right. Leanna writes, yes, I'm beating up on myself for it, so I'll keep working on things. Yay. Hazel, happy weekend. Okay, Sherry writes, exclusively date a guy for nearly two years and I simply asked him what are his intentions? We're moving forward. He completely ended it with no explanations. Sherry, that's because you made the worst mistake of all. Get to the quick. You don't wait two years to get to it. You talk about this in the first 90 days. What the fuck do you want? What does commitment, not you, you ask him. What does commitment look like for you? And if he avoids the question, then don't date the guy. It was waiting too long was your issue. Okay, don't wait that long. Get to the, cut to the quick, cut to the quick, ladies. And if you want help learning how to vet men, that's what I teach you how to do. Join my schedule a free discovery call with me. I'll help you, if you hire me, I'll help you with that. Lea writes, how old is too old to date when you're in your 30s? How old is too, well, you're never too old. Well, how old is too old? How old is too old when you date in your 30s? I don't know what that means. Life is short, live life, exactly. Oh my God, my feet are freezing. Are you enjoying this? All right, we need a few more questions before I wrap up today, because we got to let that shit go. Not only everyone, since a few of you asked this, I'm going to do it again. That's the view from my place. All right, all right. Time for one more question or two. Please post a comment. Please hit that like button, share this with your friends. I would love it if more people got a chance to hear what I have to share. It's just my perspective. Oh, let's ask another movie question. Okay, oh, that was that one. Oh, this is a good one. Which 1988 film stars Bette Midler and Barbara Hershey? Which 1988 film stars Bette Midler and Barbara Hershey? All right. Um, if you're in your 30s, what should the age, if you are in your 30s, what should your age cap be? It's socially acceptable man to date in their 50s. Leah, Lee. Look, if you're 30, if you want to date a 70-year-old, a 60-year-old, a 50-year-old, a 40-year-old, a 30-year-old, or a 20-year-old, you get to make that choice for yourself. Now, could we talk about what issues could come up dating people that are much older? Yes, but I don't want to get into that. The thing is, you get to do whatever you want. This is your journey. Do whatever you want. That's what a self-love practice is. It's your journey. That's my invitation for you. All right, beaches, correct, pretty. Uh-oh, I'm running out of battery. I didn't expect to go this long. I'd have to plug in my computer. Listen, you know what? I think this would be a great time to wrap up today's live stream. I've just had fun, so much fun, just taking a break from my day, jumping in before I go for a walk to share, just to kind of do something different on the weekend. By the way, I'd be honored if you like this, if you like connecting with me and you want to have access to me on a regular basis, check out a link to my group called Midlife Love Mastery. Check out all the links in my description. You can get my book. You can get a free gift from me. You can schedule a discovery call. I'd be honored to work with you. Just like my client mentioned. And listen, go out and have a fantastic weekend if you're watching the replay. Just go make it a fantastic day. Live your life to the fullest. It's your journey. You don't have to follow any rules. You gotta follow what's right in your heart and that's my invitation for you. All right, I'm gonna wrap up this video today as I always do. First, oh, please post a comment. If you're watching the replay, please post a comment with questions. All right, first off, I'm gonna give myself a big check-in at Johnathan Bear Hug of Self Love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone or a pet or a teddy bear or a pillow and give them it or them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and we can all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye-bye now.