 All right, we are back with Link to the Past, part three. I decided to grind a little bit, I went and found some more rupees, and god this part is frustrating. The diagonal, the four direction thing, I can't go in this particular direction and these things apparently turn into puppy dogs when you hit them with your sword. Get the fuck out of my way. I got slippers to buy. And as I learned last time, you go all the way down at the bottom. Anyway, I want to give a big thanks to Matt for... Dude was nice enough to buy me a bottle of Ardbeg whiskey. I really appreciate it, Matt. Thank you so much. It's really good and I feel like an idiot for drinking stuff like Telemortu and Jameson. I would like to be a whiskey snob, but I'm not rich. So I would... Oh, and there's the Triumph Slipper's hooray whoop-dee-shit. Yeah, but this... Yeah, and I can freaking swim now. Look at that. I always thought that was a really cool, like the smooth transition between the walking, it's not even a transition. It's just a quick flip between the walking and the swimming. I always kind of admired that, like how effortless that looked, I guess. I don't know. And let's go get the heart piece over here. That'll be nice. Now, I wish I was a whiskey snob. I'm really not. I just like Irish whiskey a lot. I like Telemortu. I like Jameson. I like Bushmills. Bushmills, that's a Protestant whiskey. I know that's the wire. I totally forgot about that part of the wire from McNulty. He's... The scene with McNulty putting together the Ikea furniture is one of the greatest scenes in television history. It's the best. Everybody can relate to that scene. Or the Irish funeral scene or whatever. Is it this way? I want to go, yes it is. Now, here is where this game is a little interesting. You throw in... No, I did not mean to do that. But you throw... You take something you've collected so far, you throw it in. You spike it into the water and she comes out and says, Hey, stop doing that. The hell you think you're doing? And then she gives it back to you. It may be it's upgraded, maybe it's not, but you got to keep leaving and going back in to keep doing it with other weapons, which is really annoying. And no, I didn't... God damn it. Well, this is just a giant waste of time now, isn't it? Son of a bitch. I know the shield works and I know the boomerang works, but I won't waste your time trying to jog my own memory. Obviously the bow and arrow doesn't work now, does it? Ah, we know that by now, don't we? Oh my God. All right, let's do the shield first. Your bitch have a shield. No, that was mean. Ah, that's mean, she's not a bitch. That was mean, that was the whiskey talking. No, it was. I like an honest person. All right, now I got the cherry red ruby shield. Let's go back and get the cherry red boomerang. Anytime the phrase cherry red gets thrown around, I remember my friend from high school, he bought a shit. Who makes it? Is it Gibson? He bought a guitar. Is it a Gibson Firebird? I want to say it's Gibson. And it was the brightest, reddest thing. It was fire engine red. It was just the most ridiculous looking guitar ever. And I mean ridiculous in a good way in the best possible way. Hey, I can't go this way. Come on, man. Where am I supposed to go? I gotta go back the long way. Oh shit, how did I end up with like zero hearts all of a sudden? What the hell happened? At least I got the sweet ass cherry red shield. Ooh, and even holding it off to the side. Oh. I was so impressed with holding my shield off to the side just by virtue of doing the special attack that it actually blocked his thingy, his projectile. That's pretty cool. I don't know if I never noticed that before if I just forgot or what. Oh well, let's take these guys out for fun. Used up one of my fairies for no reason. That was pretty useless. I think that's the first time I've died in this playthrough. That's surprising. I did not think that would be at this point. I thought I would die at least the second pendant sound. Anyway, let's make our way all the way over to, well first let's take a dip into the river here. If this guy feels like dying, get out of my way. Oh my God, I suck. Yeah, see, we're getting really careless here. I really don't care if I live or die at this point. I'm pretty suicidal, Link. What is up here? Okay, so that is a transport thing. Is this waterfall? Is that the only waterfall that transports you somewhere? I'm gonna go find out. Damn it. Okay. How should I get to Death Mountain? That's where I want it. That's my destination, is Death Mountain. The Mountain of Death, as they call it. But anyway, when I'm recording this, it's, I'll just say it's what, the day of a, I posted a video. Damn it, I don't want to go that way. Let's go over here. In fact, let's go down this whatever it's called. Let's see where it takes me. Ah, we're over here. Okay. Okay, okay. The day I posted this video is one of my longest SNES Drunk Intros ever. And I find it just, the funniest thing about this whole channel thing to me is the fact that people really enjoy, like people legitimately enjoy for whatever reason they like the intro that I do. Let me, so I thought I'd just explain the origins of the introduction. So when I started, I had to come up with a name of somehow. And, okay, so I, you know, I like Super Nintendo and I like to drink, obviously. So I, the thing is though, there's always been kind of like a running gag between me and a couple of people I've known over the years that the words, when you say the word SNES, like it sounds like something a drunk person would, like you have to be drunk to say SNES. Like nobody says SNES, they say SNES. They say the letters in the acronym. They don't say SNES. Unless you're British, then you say, or unless you're, what's the proper nomenclature? Is it British, English? Unless you're, I'm so ignorant when it comes to shit like that, I'm sorry. But I don't know where the fuck I'm going right now. I really don't. I guess I just feel like swimming. Oh, you know what I can do while I'm down here? I think I can go underneath the bridge, under the bridge as the Red Hot Chili Peppers say. By the way, I kind of really don't like that band. I don't like Anthony Kitas. I think he sings like I'm up it. I think his voice is like I'm up it. Yeah, you can go get this. I was just wandering around aimlessly. Yeah, this guy. I thought this was the coolest thing ever when I found this out. It's like, holy shit, there's somebody under the bridge? Yeah, free bottle, right on. I got all three bottles now. That's cool. I can die three times and it won't matter right on. Anyway, what was I talking about? The SNES drunk intro was, yeah, no, it's, and then so I always thought it was funny how when you say SNES or SNES as the British say, they put a Z sound at the end for some SNES. It's, you sound drunk when you say SNES. So I thought it's like, listen, I don't want a big stupid introduction with like dubstep music and all this other bullshit. And like, oh, look what I learned in fucking graphic design class or whatever the fucking, all these useless like effects and all this crap. It's like, just get to the fucking point of the video, please. So I don't want any of this shit. Okay, so it's, I just thought it would be funny if I did like less than a second and just did like kind of a Barney Gumbel voice. Like Barney Gumbel, the drunk from the Simpsons. Like, just SNES drunk like as quickly as I could. And so for like the first, I would say year and a half, two years of the channel, I would just say it like that. Just, oh my God, I'm an idiot. I'm not paying attention to what I'm doing. That's my, and also my sense of direction kind of stuff. Why aren't I going to the mountain of doom or whatever? No, that's Conan the Barbarian. This is the mountain of death, or death mountain rather. Mountain doom is Conan the Barbarian. I don't want the well actually police to come after me. Hey, apples, apples are good for you. But, and at some undetermined time or anything, something, I don't remember what compelled me to start like holding the N for the SNES drunk and making that a thing somehow, but it did. And the fact that people like think it's funny is just hilarious to me. So now I've got this like running gag where I'm just, hey, more apples. One of these days I'm going to run into something terrible. I'm almost positive. God, these fucking birds. There we go. There's evil things in these trees sometimes. And it's going to suck. I can't remember off the top of my head what they are, but I think there's like bees or something. Oh God, no! Here's where I put the, oh God, not the bees. God damn it, these things are fucking annoying. Listen, okay. There, thank you for dying. Thank you for gilding and gliding into my sword. So yeah, it's pretty funny that people get a kick out of the SNES drunk intro because it honestly came from, it came from nothing. I just, it was just like, okay, I want a short intro. I want to get this out of the way. Like just fuck off, let's get started with the video. And now I've got like people requesting like, you should do a compilation video of every intro you've ever done. And it's like, what? Are you kidding me? Like that's seriously something that people want. Like, why? What the hell? It's really, it's honestly the most like, funniest unexpected thing to cover this channel is that people, you should do like a 30 minute like SNES drunk intro compilation. Like the fuck are you talking about? Damn it, this isn't the way in. Where do I want to go? That's the thing about drinking is that you don't know, or at least I don't, my sense of direction is garbage. And the fact that I'm talking loudly and annoyingly is freaking out my dog, as it always does. Ulysses S. Joke. Hey, Uly. What are you doing? Huh? He's being moody. You don't give me that look. Don't give me that look. Stop that. He's giving me looks. All right, we are in the Death Mountain trail thing. I know you just keep going to the right. You don't bother with anything else. You keep going to the right. You don't fall down there, but you just keep going to the right. Hey, there's, who is that? Anthony Hopkins, Jackson Pollock. Who is this guy? What does he look like? Who's balding with a mustache? Is that Mahatma Gandhi? Is that, I don't know. What other famous bald dudes with, Mark Twain had a mustache like that, but he had hair, didn't he? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's go. Let's kill some bats though. Anyway, yeah, that's the, there's not really a interesting story behind the intro or anything like that. I just think it's funny that people like it. Okay, shut up. Let me go. Hey, the mirror. Now I can look at myself like Rick the Model Martell. Actually no, he never really did that, did he? That was more of a Shawn Michaels thing. Who did the, well, I guess if you wanna go way back, it was Gorgeous George back in like the 60s that did it. Oh yeah, give me some more of that comfort. Oh yeah, super suggestive. Sometimes my tongue gets over my eye teeth and I can't see what I'm saying, as Bob Ross would say. Raise your hand if you've heard him say that yourself. Raise your hand right now. I see you. You're raising your hand. You watch Bob Ross all the time, don't you? Hey, so do I. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. Okay, how do I get up there? I think my brain tells me to go to the left. Okay, I go up this ladder. This giant ladder of doom over here. Then I can't remember. I'll figure it out. Maybe the answer's in here. This is, what is this? Nope, it's not in here. What if I fell down here? Oh hey, I can fill up my bottles again. Anyway, yeah, who was the, Rick the Model Martel, you know, one of the, let's talk about, let's talk about Rick the Model Martel for a while. He was Rick Martel. He was part of the, he was a great AWA wrestler from my childhood. Being from Minnesota, I grew up with the AWA. Yeah, I remember him in the AWA with God. This was like before he was in the WWF in the 80s. I remember they used to play the reruns all the time. Even like really old reruns, too. Why am I wasting my time with these guys? Do I get anything for killing these guys? No, of course not. This was back when, yeah, Martel was, oh shit, that was a waste of time. Now I gotta go all the way over here again. Now I have two hearts left. Two of hearts. Two hearts that go man's one. The only reason I know that song is because Beavis and Butthead saw the video. That's it. Is this cable access? All right, let's go into the dark world for the first time. This was stunning stuff back in the day, by the way. This was like, this was pretty shocking. Like, holy crap, this is a whole nother, like, part of the game? Whole nother. Yes, and here they, this is the first part of where they stress the exposition the hell out of the pearl. What? That makes no sense. I keep changing my mind, so I turned into a ball. Is there anything you can do at this point? I don't think so. You just talk to those guys and then you use the mirror at a specific spot on here. It's not over here. It's not there, obviously. I think it's right here, actually. Yeah, this was crazy shit. Especially, spoiler alert. Hey, a piece of heart. Now I have an extra, yeah, it filled up my life. How convenient. I guess that's the closest thing you get to leveling up in this game. You know, I guess in that weird sense, I guess this game could be considered an RPG in a roundabout way, but I don't wanna open that can of worms. I don't consider any of the Zelda games to be role-playing games. They're strictly adventure-style because there's no real leveling system or whatever. I don't know, I don't wanna get into that. That's gonna get the well-actually police out. But anyway, onto more important things. Rick the Model Martel in the AWA. He was the champ. They're a heavyweight champ. Back when that meant something. God damn it, I gotta unlock this crap. And believe me, the AWA was a pretty big deal back in, especially back in the 60s and 70s when Vern Ganya was still around. But this whole train of thought started with the mirror. And I used to think, yeah, he was in the AWA and then he was in the WWF, I think, as part of the Can-Am connection with Tom Zank. And that's before Tom Zank became the Z-Man, Tom Zank. And WCW in the early 90s. And apparently, Tom Zank is kind of an asshole, so I've heard. It's been a long time since I've, I used to be a big wrestling dork. Like, okay, I can't go in here yet, but let's fight these guys. I used to be big in wrestling, like Dave Meltzer, like all that stuff. In fact, I remember in 1990, what, when was the Montreal Screwjob? That was 97. That was, I remember being, we had America Online at that point. And this was back in the, if you had America Online back in 97, this was like kind of its own proprietary internet thing. It's not like you could just open a browser like Chrome. I mean, obviously you could. There was Internet Explorer, and the other browser, the other big browser was Netscape. Was that what it was called? Netscape? I can't remember. But being a kid, I wasn't smart enough to really, that whole part of the internet was kind of intimidating to me, because you needed to like type in an address, and I didn't understand like, where do I wanna go? Like how does that work? Like, whoops, I did not mean to do that. What do I do? Like that part was intimidating to me. So as a, I think I was 15 and 97. I just stuck with mostly, stuck with like AOL. And AOL had like a WWF, as it was called then, section. And they also had a message board called the Informer Message Board, which a lot of people commented on. It was just like an old school, like Usenet Group style message board. And people, and let me tell you something, if you're, I'm sorry if you don't give a shit about wrestling, and if you don't, I don't blame you, but just hear me out on this. It was, there was no better time in the history of professional wrestling to be following it than 1997, with all that was going on, with WWF versus WCW, with Bret Hart, with Shawn Michaels, with is Bret gonna leave, is Bret gonna stay? It was right up until like the last freaking second, seemingly, oh shit, I was lazy, I should pay attention. What's this guy doing talking about wrestling? Why doesn't he talk about Zealda? Zealda, when did you talk about them there, Zealda? Sorry, that's a terrible Southern accent. God, I've insulted my UK friends and now my Southern United States friends. I'm really far gone at this point. Nobody's gonna watch this anyway. Please get, like, not that many views. Why isn't this like work as well as the other one did? Are these enemies just impervious to it? Oh, fuck off. All right, now, people that have been paying attention to this let's play, I've been lighting these, and any of these stupid lighter things, I light all of them in every room. I think it's gonna pay off this time. Yes, it finally does, fucking finally. Ugh, I don't know why that's ingrained. I think that's just a Zealda thing, like if it's Zealda and there are things to light on fire, you need to light them on fire with your torch or with your lantern, rather. Anyway, but yeah, no, it was called the WWF Informer Board, and it was about like, like they would, the WWF them quote unquote themselves would post stuff about, I need to switch this back on, I think I do. They would, oh, god damn it. Get, get, get, get, damn it. I knew I was gonna take a hit, fuck. Hate this game sometimes. They would post like quote unquote insider stuff, and it's, but the night of Survivor Series 97 when Bret Hart, it was rumored that he had signed a contract with WCW, and that WWF was letting him go, and that they had no way to get the title off of Bret, and that they had come out, they had come to like some absurd agreement, like, oh, Bret'll just, it'll be a double DQ and Bret'll just surrender the title on Raw, and people were like, no, that's not gonna happen. Like that, that's, that doesn't sound right. Like people were skeptical of that, and then what ended up happening is that some very real shit went down, or maybe some very scripted shit went down, depending on what conspiracy theory you feel like following. But it was, it was fascinating to follow, back then, because it was so, everything was so different and so new, and what that has to do with Rick the Model Martell, I have no idea. I don't know how I got here. I just like, I always liked the model. I thought he was a great character. I remember when he sprayed Jake the Snake Roberts in the eyes with arrogance, his cologne, and it blinded him, and Jake's eye was like, his pupil was gone, it made no sense at all. Like that doesn't happen when you spray cologne in somebody, whatever. It was still funny. Well it wasn't funny to me. I was very scared of Jake the Snake as a kid, especially when he turned heel in 92, when he like started fucking with the Undertaker. The Undertaker was a good guy and it was fucking cool as shit. Anyway, let's talk about Zelda. I know a lot about like fucking 90s wrestling, like an embarrassing amount of stuff. You know these dinosaur things look like they belong in Super Mario World. Am I wrong in that? They do not look like they belong in Zelda. They look like Mario World enemies. Oh yeah, now I gotta like find a way to fall down on there. Hopefully I do this right. I have no confidence that I'm gonna pull this off. In fact, I'll probably keep trying to do this for the next 30 minutes and continue to fail. You know what I need to do though? I'm low on health. I think before I do anything else, well, since I'm gonna go down there, oh, that failed spectacularly. God damn it. Let's just go up here. Let's just try it. See if I can get this over with. Yeah, this is a very odd. This isn't gonna work, is it? This is gonna fall right on the stars. Yup. Anyway, so I need to configure it somehow. Do I just like flip this back? Or do I keep it like that? I think I just keep it like that. Give me some hearts, God damn it. By the way, how did Zelda decide on pots to be placed everywhere? It was like Miyamoto or whoever came up with that concept. Yeah, I need to flip this, I need to get some hearts. It was Miyamoto just in some rich guy's house and was like, I just wanna smash all these pots. There should be a game where you can smash pots. Like how did that come about? Like why pots? Why, why aren't there any flowers in them? Are they filled with water? What can you keep in them? What are vases, vases? I don't know, I'm just rambling. All right, now let's try it. But first, martinis. No, I wish. I'm not a big martini guy myself, actually. Oh shit, this guy needs like several hits. More than three. Come on, man. Finally. This guy seems to be like, okay, I thought there was a pot there. I thought he was like munching on a pot. Munching on pot. Anyway, let's go down here. Oh, don't you have to fall on like the top side of the hole? Yeah, okay. That's pretty stupid. All right, well, we got the thing. So now it's time for a... Maybe the most annoying boss fight in the game. And you'll find out why very quickly. Ba-da-ba-da-ba. Get used to hearing that sound a lot. All right, so we gotta hit this thing, I think six times on the tail. And he can knock you out very easily and that's not a smart way to go about things. He doesn't do a lot of damage though. It's two, is it six or five? Come on. You wanna stay near the, I think... Oh, shit, that was terrible. Wasted three hearts. Oh, and I wasn't paying attention and got hit again. That was stupid. All right, let's use up some more of these hearts if there are any left. Boy, what a day. Let's at least beat this guy and then we'll call it an episode. Well, actually, if I beat this guy then I might as well go all the way to the Lost Woods and go get the sword. All right, let's do it. Let's do this. One, two, let's get it. Two, there we go. Let's see the advantage of the special attack. You don't have to swing, you can just stab him as you're holding your sword out and that was very poorly done. Wasted two more hearts. Do I have any left? Does this do anything? Does this lead to more hearts? No, that I thought not. Yeah, there's all sorts of cracks on the wall in this tower for some reason. I'm not sure why. That doesn't get old or anything. Actually kind of doesn't, to be honest with you. I like the boss theme in this game. All right, that was very poorly planned. Oh, God damn it, come on. Oh, God, for a second I thought I was gonna keep falling through. Let's keep trying. See, the old SNES drunk would just get frustrated and say fuck this and just try again later. I have very little patience when it comes to shit like this, normally, but like especially, honest to God, this is a funny thing to say, but Super Ghouls and Ghosts kind of, the game Super Ghouls and Ghosts kind of changed my life and kind of changed the way that I played video games. Oh, God, I only, I just realized, oh shit, I only have one heart now, okay, that's two hits and now I'm dead, but I've got fairies and shit, so she's gonna revive me, but I think this is it, right? That's my last fairy, I think, and he allows me to get a free hit, so that's three, four, that was an easy one. Five, that was an easy one. Yup, six is the number, let's get one more. See if I can hit him on a long shot with the arrow, there we go. Mother fuck yeah, now my next quest is to catch the pendant. Oh, shoestring catch, just like the first pendant. Snagged it on the ground, just like Tori Hunter. I would say Kirby Pocket, but he didn't really make that kind of catch too often. Tori Hunter did though. Anyway, let's get out of here. How do you get out of here anyway? You can go back the way you came, right? Whoa, that was a long, no damage? You fell that far and no damage? Right on, this is my kind of game. All right, let's get the fuck out of here. You notice the shape of this room makes a big G or a C if you wanna be, I guess it's not a G. Oh, comfort me, old man. Comfort my weariness. Oh, I don't have any weariness to comfort. Oh, I can manufacture some. Let's manufacture some weariness. Let's get the hell out of here. Yeah, let's go ahead and go. Whoa, that was ill-advised. Yeah, let's go, charge ahead. Let's go to the Lost Woods and let's get the master sword on this episode. Sure, what the hell? Why the fuck not? I got time for it. Although there's a very good chance I'm gonna get lost on the way to Lost Woods and where am I going? I don't wanna go this way. What? I can't go out the same way I came in? What's the point of that? Oh, well, I didn't mean to do that. Well, actually, that actually really helps me. Oh well. Well, where the fuck do I go? I can't even remember. God damn it. Yeah, I'm going to, I've run out of things to talk about. You want me to talk about wrestling? Some more? I can. Let's see, the first, I go back to the AWA, I grew up in Minnesota, so I go back to the AWA days. I, my first real inkling to get into the old WWF was WrestleMania 6. That's when we first got Cable. And back then we had, was it Cable Vision? I think we had Cable Vision back then. I think that's what it was called. There was a channel. I don't think I go this way. No, I don't. You need the hook shot to get over there. There was a channel that showed nothing, but like, Pay-Per-View previews, like what movies are on Pay-Per-View, what boxing events are coming up and whatever. And the WWF, their production value was so freaking great that it was, I think I go back to the old guy, right? Maybe. Is this the way to go back to the old guy? I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just rambling. It would just be Mean Jean Okerland in a TV studio with all this busy-looking stuff behind him, all these TV monitors, and everything looks really interesting and complicated. Mean Jean would be telling you about the next big Pay-Per-View. And there were only four Pay-Per-Views back then. There was Royal Rumble, Survivor Series, WrestleMania, and Summerslam, that was it. So, oh yeah, Comfort the Hell out of me. The Mean Jean would just be, it would just be him. And his Mean Jean Okerland voice, just talking. And the way he presented these like wrestlers, God, what am I doing? I'm getting my ass kicked. Where the fuck do I go? Let's go up here. He would, the way he would present this stuff would be like the most important thing in the world. Like, there is nothing more important right now than Brett the Hitman. Oh God, I suck. Do I have another fairy? Please tell me I have another fairy. Okay. Jesus, I'm getting sloppy. But no, he, oh wait, I think I remember now. Don't you go this way and this goes out to a different door. That's right. And this brings you out back, oh yeah, we're similar to where you came in, but now not exactly where you came in. Oh God, what a ginormous waste of time that was. No, but what sold me was WrestleMania 6. It was title for title. It was Hogan versus the Ultimate Warrior. And I wasn't a big WWF fan back then, but oh God damn it, not the bees. Oh, not the bees, oh, not the eels. No. Oh my eyes. Nicholas Cage goes into the, no. Do I wanna go that way? Is it up there or is it over here? I got confused for a second. Okay, I think it's over here. Yeah, Nicholas Cage in that movie, The Wicker Man, which is every bit as bad as you think it is. Please believe me when I say that. It is every bit as bad. But he goes into this like weird like Muppet voice when he starts screaming like, oh my eyes, oh, oh. By the way, if you've never seen the original Wicker Man, which was made like in the early 70s, I wanna say, it's, I wouldn't call it a bad movie, but it's really, really intensely weird. In an unpleasant, like kind of in an unpleasant and creepy and not creepy like in a horror movie, creepy kind of way. Like creepy like in a 70s kind of. God damn it, not more bees. Motherfucker, get this guy away from me, fuck. He stole an arrow from me in one rupee. I hope it was worth it, dipshit. What was that? God, these bees keep following me. Shit. There's a fucking crab thing in here. There. Where's the damn master sword? Oh yeah, I can bring this to the witch later. And she can like make some potion with it or something. I don't know. Where's that damn sword? What was I talking about? Nicholas Cage and Wicker Man. Yeah, the original Wicker Man in the 70s is really fucking weird. Oh hey, I think I found it. All right, that didn't take too long. Right on, it's the master, the sword of masters. Chris Masters, speaking of wrestling? It's the Chris Masters sword. Whatever happened to that guy? Anyway, yeah. Oh man, the first time you saw this. Oh, so cool. I'm telling you, this was an electric moment until Saspirula interrupts your cool sword from the stone moment. What are you talking about? It's extraordinary. You told me I'm the fricking chosen one or whatever. What the hell are you blathering about? The destiny of this land is in your hands. Boy, if that's not a Jerry Brookheimer trailer line, I don't know what is. Anyway, I think we're gonna be done here because the rest of the video, I'm just gonna sit here and frolic with the squirrels and the birds and the rabbits and just frolic and frolic. I think I have to reload the screen and go off and they have to raise the squirrels and the birds and squirrels and the birds and squirrels. Let's go back up and hey, the squirrels and the birds. All right, I wanna thank you for watching. I hope you have a great rest of your day. Cheers.