 Good health to all from Rexall, the space show, presented by the makers of Rexall Drug Products and 10,000 independent Rexall Family Drugists. Good evening. We Rexall Family Drugists have some good news for you this evening. Next Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday, we bring you our famous one cent sale. If you don't already know what that can mean to your family budget, here's how it works. During those four days at every store with the orange and blue Rexall sign on the windows, you can get two quality guaranteed Rexall products for the price of one, plus one cent. That's right, twice as much for only a penny more. And what's more, these savings apply to nearly 300 items, from antiseptics to toothpaste, cold cream to cough syrup, aspirin to shampoos. And remember, these are Rexall products, and that means they're as fine and dependable as science can make them. So drop in on your Rexall Drugist next Wednesday, Thursday, Friday or Saturday. Let him help you save with safety. Everyone knows you can depend on any drug product that bears the name Rexall. Good health to all from Rexall. The Rexall Family Drugist brings you the Bill Harris-Harris Faye show, written by Ray Singer and Dick Chevrolet with Elliot Lewis, Walter Tetley, Janine Ruse and Whitfield. Walter Sharpen is music yours truly, Bill Foreman and starring Alice Faye and Bill Harris. The Harris family has just returned home from church. They attended afternoon Easter services, and Alice seems a little perturbed about the children's behavior. I'm surprised at the way you children acted in church. Phyllis, you should know better than to whisper to your sister during the sermon. I'm sorry, Mommy. And it's for you. You squirmed and fidgeted in your seat and worst of all, why did you take your shoes off? My little tootsies were killing me. I was talking to Alice. Girls, go change your clothes for dinner. Willie, will you stay and have dinner with us? Well, I'd like to, Alice, but I have a date. Oh, I'm sorry you can't stay, Willie. You see, I've invited the Kratons for dinner, and I know you enjoy their comfort. Yes, the Kratons are very interesting. Don't you think so, Phillip? Oh, to be sure. Just think we're having the Kratons for dinner. What a thrill, what a pleasure, what an honor. What's a Kraton? Mrs. Kraton is the children's school principal. I met her at church and invited her and her husband for dinner. The school principal? Oh, goodie. Oh, we're in for a racy evening. Don't be sarcastic. Well, I told him to come over early, so I'd better get things ready. Yeah, you go oil a magic lantern and I'll dust off the stereopticon slides. Alice, with all the swell teachers they got at the school, why do you have to invite this Kraton character and her husband? Well, Phil, that's no way to talk to their very nice people. Well, maybe so. But I ain't got nothing in common with Mr. Kraton. He went to Harvard, and I'm a Yale man. Well, we're natural born enemies. Our schools have been rivals forever. All right, boola, boola. Philip, you went to Yale. Well, naturally, Willie, he's a whiffin' poof. Haven't you ever heard his famous school song? Under the table down at Morris, that's the place where Philzie dwelled. The dear old temple bar he loves so. Thank you, Rudy Valley. You vagabond mother. Excuse me, I'd better get the roast started. Hey, Alice, you better make something else instead of roast. Why? Don't agree with Frankie. Frankie's coming to dinner? Who invited him? He did. Now look, Phil, I'm not going to have Frankie around while the Kratons are here. He's liable to insult them, and besides, his table manners are atrocious. They are not. He's very polite. He always tips his hat when a lady comes to the table. It's important that this dinner go off smoothly, so you'll have to tell Frankie we can't have him. Tell him we haven't got enough food. Fine thing. On account of a couple old squares, I can't have my pal eat with us. Excuse me, Philip, before I leave, I'll go see if I can help Alice prepare dinner. Oh, you'll be a great help, Prudence. What can you do? I can whip the potatoes. Well, I doubt it, Muscles, but give it a try. I can whip the potatoes. It comes on like thorn, don't it? I can't understand it. I've already invited Frankie to dinner. Now how am I... Uh-oh, that must be him now. Now how am I going to tell Remly he's not wanted? Hiya, Curly. Happy Easter. And what are we having for dinner? Well, I don't know about you, but I'm having roast beef. You see, Frankie, we can't... Well, that is... Well, we don't... What are you trying to tell me? Well, to put it blunt, Alice invited somebody else over to dinner. She doesn't have enough food for you, she doesn't want you, and you can't have dinner here. Stop hinting and get to the point. You're not going to eat with us. Well... If you don't want me, I'll just take these expensive presents I bought for you, good people, and go home. Well, go ahead, because you... Wait a minute. Presents? You mean... Those packages in your arms are for us? Well, yeah. You were nice enough to invite me to dinner, so I bought something for you, Alice and the kids. I got a box of my special-made cigars, an orchid, and a real-life Easter bunny. Oh, Frankie. You bought a real-life bunny just for me? Yeah, the bunny's for you. Now, if you'll call the kids in, I'll give them their cigars. The bunny ain't for you, it's for the kids. Oh, well, I like the other presents just as much. Go ahead, Frankie, pin the orchid on me. Curly, the cigars are for you. They're the special kind that I have made for myself. You're trying to ignore them? You said it, them things taste like wet soup greens wrapped in a ripe banana skin. You mean you don't like them? I'd rather smoke the orchid. Or the bunny. I wouldn't touch one of them things if you'd give... Daddy, maybe we could, and... Oh, hello, Uncle Frankie. Happy Easter, kids. I got something for you. Why don't I take the cover off this box? I wonder what it is, Phil? There you are. How do you like it? Gee, an Easter bunny. Oh, thank you. A real live one, too. Isn't he cute, Alice? Yeah, he looks just like Uncle Frankie. He don't look like me. Does he, Phyllis? Of course not. She's just saying that because you both have pink eyes. Pink, Uncle Frankie. From drinking carrot juice. Now, why don't you girls run along and play, huh? Phil, Phil, who was that at the door? What was the... Oh, Frankie. Fine reception. She greets me like I was radioactive or something. Hey, honey, Frankie brought Easter presents for all of us. He brought the kids a bunny, and he got something for you and something for me. Here's yours. Oh, just what I wanted. I haven't had a good cigar in years. You still ain't got a good cigar. Look, Curly, will you stop trying to palm those cigars off on everybody? Here, Alice, this orchid is for you. Oh, it's lovely. Frankie, it was awfully sweet of you to bring presents for all of us, and I'd like to reciprocate. Won't you have dinner with us? Oh, gee, Alice. This is such an unexpected invitation. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. Thank you. I don't know what to say, except couldn't I have lobster instead of roast beef? Well, I'm sorry, but I've already put the roast in the oven. And another thing, Frankie, as long as you're staying, I'm going to have to ask you to be careful how you act. You see, we're having company for dinner. Oh, good. Well, I have a lot of fun. I love gay dinner parties, scintillating conversations, sparkling dialogue. Who's coming? Two characters from the Wax Museum. We're having Mr. and Mrs. Creighton. She's the school principal. Give me back my presents. I'm getting out of here. Frankie, they're very nice people. They're a little formal and straight-laced, but it won't hurt you, fellas, to meet people like that. Oh, yeah. It's going to be a great evening. I won't know what to talk to her about, and he's so hand-picked he don't care to dare open his mouth unless she gives him permission. Now, look, fellas, do me a favor and act nice when the Creightons get here. And above all, she's a school principal, so watch your grammar. Philip, do you think that is he and she now? Yes, that might be whom it are. R? Yeah, when two people come, you use the plural. Oh. Look, you two better not do any talking. Let the Creightons leave the conversation. Now, be quiet while I let them in. How do you do, Mrs. Harris? Hello, Mrs. Creighton, Mr. Creighton. It's a pleasure to have you. Won't you come in? Thank you. Come along, Henry. Do you know my husband? Oh, hello. And this is Mr. Remley. Hi. How do you do? And this is my husband. Henry, you may say hello. Thank you, Kara. Hello, folks. How do you do, Mr. Remley? Notice the way he slipped that folks in? Well, dinner won't be ready for about an hour. In the meantime, shall we all go in the living room? And, oh, Frankie, will you escort Mrs. Creighton? Delighted. Madame, may I offer my arm? Oh, how gallant. Mr. Remley, where did you learn to bow so gracefully? Oh, one acquires a lot of poise from bending over pool table. Shall we all be seated? Well... Yeah. Sitting down very nicely. Sometimes I like it better than standing up. It's kind of a change in... Privilege, anyone? Wasn't it lucky that Easter fell on a Sunday this year? Anybody care for a cigar? Anybody care for a drink? I just want to make sure everybody was still alive. Very soon, I hope. Isn't there something we can do to amuse ourselves in the meantime? Anybody care to wrestle? How about you, Mrs. Harris? I take judo lessons, and I got to practice with somebody, and... I thought it might be fun with her. Do you know Judo Creighton? Oh, yes. You see, I ran this short in statute. I'll explain, Henry. I insisted that Henry study judo, so he could protect me against all those mashers who are always accosting beautiful women. He's been a judo expert for 20 years now. And I've never had any occasion to use him. Do you take judo too, Mrs. Creighton? Mrs. Harris, my time is completely absorbed by my educational duties. Oh, I should think it would be, Mrs. Creighton. Your work is very important, and we parents appreciate the training you school teachers give our children. We do our best. However, we must have cooperation for the parents. Sometimes the example set at home by certain fathers counteracts our efforts. Yeah, it's a shame the way some kids don't get no help from their old man. I'm always learning my daughter's good grammar. You are? You said it. I ain't gonna have no kids of mine talking no lousy English. Mr. Harris, I realize everybody hasn't had an education, but I think at the duty of every parent to acquire some knowledge. I suggest you read a few reference books. Like what? Well, have you ever read the Encyclopedia Britannica? No, I'm waiting till they make the picture. That Lawrence Oliver ought to be great in that picture. Mr. Harris, has it ever occurred to you why your children aren't learning the way they should? Something wrong with the school system, huh? There's nothing wrong with the school system. Mr. Remley, what do you think of our present scholastic curriculum? Mr. Remley? Frankie! What? Whose deal is it? What do you think of the present scholastic curriculum? It's alright, but it'll never replace the paramutual. We were discussing education. Oh, education, wonderful thing. No school should be without it. It's great for the kids too, keeps them off the streets. I do wish there was someone here who had an education that I could talk to. Mrs. Harris! Of course you went to college. Oh, college is so important, don't you think? We never forget our college days, do we? I went to USC, Class of 29. And you? NTG, Chorus of 34. Chorus! NTG? Mrs. Harris. You mean you were in a chorus, girl? Oh, boy, I'd love to have seen you. Henry! Did you do in the chorus, Mrs. Harris? Well, I danced a little and I sang a little. You're darn right, she was great too. In fact, she still is. Go on, honey, sing something and show them. But, Phil, I don't think Mrs. Creighton wants to hear me. Of course she does. Look at her sitting there. She's all ears. I'll pin them back so they don't flap while you're singing. Hi, I had Alice. I had a little boot and a rundown shoe. Lost my partner. Lost my partner. Lost my partner. What did I do? Skipped to my loo, my darling. Skipped to my loo, loo loo. Skipped to my loo, skipped to my loo. My... How'd you like that, Mrs. Creighton? That kid's got talent, ain't she? Harris, I don't wish to be rude, but you think dinner will be ready soon. Well, I'm afraid it won't be ready for another hour, but by the way, I hope you like roast beef. I don't mind it, but no seasoning, please. I can't stand seasoning of any sort. It makes me deathly ill. Oh, it does, huh? Well, if you'll excuse me, I gotta go in and see how the roast is doing. No, Phil, you stay here, Alice. No, Alice, you enjoy yourself. I'm going in and see how the roast is doing. Excuse me, please. No, wait a minute, Curly. I'll go with you. Excuse me. Wait for me. I'll go in and punch her right in the nose. We'll be right back. Come on, Remly. All right. Oh, brother. There ought to be a law against such women. Curly, if she's going to be here for dinner, I'm not staying. Remly, I don't think she's going to stay for dinner. What do you mean? Well, you heard her say she can't stand seasoning in her food. Now, if we were to go in the kitchen and kind of rub that roast down a little, we'd have to go in the kitchen. Oh, Curly, you're cute. Yeah. Let's go, maestro. What's going, chef? It is beginning to acquire a little flavor. Uh-huh, yes. All is needed was a subtle touch of seasoning. Just a touch. Yes. What have you got in so far? A pinch of salt, a dash of pepper, two cans of paprika, three bottles of Tabasco sauce, and a little bit of black pepper. It goes well with the stew, the taste of the soy sauce, the flavor of the tomato sauce. It plays the roast with a delicate blend of vinegar, lemon juice, and turpentine. Yum, yum. And just to make sure, we'll add a cup of this. Claret? No, Clorox. Just enough to fade them a little. Well, look, Remly, we don't need it. It's hot enough now, at least I hope it is. Well, there's only one way to find out. Taste it, Curl. Hey, this roast is ready, Remly. Oh, this is a pretty thing. Yeah, you taste it. It's your roast. You taste it. You better do it fast. It's starting to burn its way through the table. Hey, wait a minute. I got it. They make tests on rabbits. Let's try this stuff on that bunny you brought the kids. Curly. Please. I ain't gonna let you try it out on the kid's bunny. Might kill him. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Hey, maybe if we could get a whole of another bunny and... Hi, Mr. Harris! Well, if it ain't old brayer rabbit of bruise! Long Julius himself! Oh, not the kid. Not then. Wait a second, the kitchen. Just get ready to take a slice of Alice's delicious roast beef. Hey, do you want to see something good, kid? Oh, wait till I cut a slice off. There, ain't that a thing of beauty? That looks delicious, doesn't it? Yeah, it looks nice and juicy and tender. I'm gonna have a piece. So am I. I ain't. What do you mean, you ain't? I hate roast beef. But Julius is healthy for you. I always eat it. I got to look the way I do today from just eating roast beef. That's a recommendation? Look, kid, you want to try this. Miss Faye made it and believed me when it's seasoned this way. It doesn't taste like roast beef. What doesn't taste like? That's what we're trying to find out. Okay, but you can't have much. Just one big fat slice. Here you are. Thanks. Oh, Remly, I can't watch this. I got to cover my eyes. Yeah. We better hold our ears too. Any second now. He likes it. This kid must be cag-lined. You like it, Julius? Yeah, it's kind of tasty and makes you... There he goes. There he goes, Remly. Yeah. Watch him whirl. There's a thing where you should have put him out. No, it's chili in the kitchen. Let him heat it up a little. If Alice's roast beef and went out like a painted Alice. Tainted? Now should we all sit down at dinner? No, thank you. I just remembered a previous engagement. Goodbye, Mrs. Harris. Come along, then. She is leaving. What a pity. Oh, fellas, I don't know what you did, but... Mrs. Harris, I came back to talk to you. Yes, Mr. Crave. Do you realize if my wife had eaten that tape and meet something drastic might have happened to her? I might even have lost the dear girl. I'm sorry, Mr. Crave. Well, never mind the excuses. They're just one thing I want to know. But where can I buy meat like that? Phil will be back in just a moment. Right now, your Rexall family druggist has a drop-in visitor. I've heard my neighbors talking about something called a one-cent sale you're going to have. What is it? Why, it's a sale that Rexall druggist originated, ma'am, and it's become a regular tradition. Here's how it works. Next Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, we give you the opportunity to buy two of Rexall's famous guaranteed products for the price of one plus a penny. In other words, a penny more buys twice as much. That's the idea, exactly. For instance, our 100-tablet bottle of Rexall Pure-Test Aspirin ordinarily sells for 49 cents, but during the one-cent sale, you can get two bottles for only 50 cents. No wonder my neighbors are saying that's the time to stock up on drugstore needs. Yes, indeed. And another reason it's such a good opportunity, ma'am, is because our one-cent sale extends to almost 300 different items. They range from cough syrup to shaving cream, from vitamins to cosmetics, and when you buy all those necessaries at two for the price of one plus a penny, you're taking a big whack at your cost of living. Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. I'm certainly going to remember those days next week. And remember this, too, ma'am, because it's the most important of all. These are Rexall products, and you can depend on any drug product that bears the name Rexall. Good health to all from Rexall. Folks, this is Phil again. Down in Galveston, Texas, this weekend, they're doing something of which the whole nation can be very proud. The Greater Galveston Beach Association is holding a four-day welcome honoring General Jimmy Doolittle and his Tokyo Raiders. So congratulations to you, Jimmy, and to all your brave guys. We know you'll love that, Texas Hospitality, and have a wonderful time. And our thanks to Galveston for again showing our country's gratitude to you and your boys for a deed that will never be forgotten. Good night, everybody. Good night. Good night. Your pennies will save dollars next Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday at Rexall's famous 1-cent sale. Nearly 300 fine-quality, guaranteed Rexall products, two for the price of one plus 1-cent. Remember next Wednesday through Saturday, Rexall's 1-cent sale, wherever you see the orange and blue Rexall sign on the window. This is Bill Foreman saying good luck to all. This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company.