 Well, hello and welcome to Jonathan from the heart. I'm Jonathan assay of Jonathan assay.com And I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today our topic What did what to know when a guy says he's confused or if he's giving mixed signals really quickly? These are my weekend videos. I shoot on my balcony very similar to the videos I shoot my private group called midlife love mastery where you can have direct access to me ask me personal questions For yourself and three times a week. I shoot videos in the group Also, we host a once a month webinar where it's a live Q&A All right, and check out the link below to my VIP group. All right We're gonna talk about when a guy is says he's confused or he starts giving mixed signals and These are my weekend videos because they're more personalized and in this particular case I want to share my own personal experience because I have been that guy Probably am still that guy So what does it mean when a guy says he's confused and what do mixed signals mean? Well, first off, you know On one's level, let's think about it confusion. What what represents confusion is Uncertainty in other words and and what it feels like it's uncertainty about you But it may not be just about you. You have to look at the totality of a relationship now depending on which stage You are is this in the first couple three or four weeks of dating where someone says they're confused or someone you're in a seasoned relationship where you're confused By the way, my t-shirt says I've got your back and you can see this is a back missing and he's holding the back And my cup today says stay grounded, which is ideal for this conversation Okay, so What is confusion? Well, it's uncertainty in other words there there could be a vast things that cause uncertainty both within the relationship and within someone's life Oftentimes when you examine what happens when someone is giving mixed signals or they're they say that they're confused Is that there's probably a lot of things going on in his or her life that creates a weak Foundation in their life. Maybe they're going through troubles at work. Maybe they're going through health issues Maybe they have a contentious ex-spouse. Maybe they have parents in elderly care. That's one parent might be you know on their death bed Maybe they have if shoes with their children if the foundation is weak. It makes everything else Very can be very emotionally draining or emotionally weighted, okay In other words, it feels like a weight So what happens is they might have confusion about the relationship because their foundation is weak Okay, this happens Frequently frequently frequently for those in midlife In fact, the vast majority of men and women are experiencing a weak foundation in their life Now in many cases it could be also past traumas that cause this weak foundation or their childhood wounds and traumas This is why I'm such a big proponent. Let me pull out this book of Reading the book the Hoffman process the Hoffman process to understand Childhood wounds and traumas because oftentimes their weak foundation is because they're lacking truly loving on themselves This is why after I did the Hoffman process literally Within one year. I started writing my book. What the heck is self-love anyway? What the heck is self-love anyway? Have you ordered the book check out the link below? I mentioned this because it's a it's a journey of personal development self-help and spiritual work I got to turn off my phone. I Didn't realize it was on it was it's a journey of personal development self-help and spiritual work as a vaccination to emotional chaos as a vaccination to emotional chaos and Adult traumas can be significantly way on the foundation. Okay, so In some ways when someone says they're confused that just merely means they have to come back within themselves to gain clarity What I'm also here to say is there can be confusion around the relationship And this is why I'm such a big proponent of women taking charge of their Relationship destiny not to leaving it up to the man And what I'm here to say is you are the emotional leaders of the relationship or at least and what I mean by emotional leaders of the relationship You lead by example lead by example So how do we create less confusion in the relationship and more more coherency that eventually can lead to this? I've got your back. I Definitely want you to check out the book by Barbara De Angelis. I love this book How to make love all the time how to make love all the time Why I want you to read this is so you can understand the mechanics of really creating Intimacy in a relationship how to create intimacy because when there's genuine vulnerability Authenticity and transparency There's less confusion in the relationship now This isn't something you're gonna want to do in the first second third fourth week of dating But something if for those season relationships I want you to be prepared and to be actually you want to begin the process very early on first by reading it And then leading by example Now some of you might be saying well, that's me being in my masculine energy and trying to control things No, you lead by example is merely stating these are my standards in Relationship are you open to being at this standard? So you want to begin this foundation of your relationship? Solid very early on so if there's a weakness going on the balance of someone's life There's at least something to hold on to Because they'll have your back because you've established Authenticity vulnerability and transparency early on and when you've done that they become bonded to you a person Can become bonded to you and lean on you when those tough times are going on But if there's no real bond between the two of you and the foundation in someone's life is weak It's gonna create confusion mixed signals and a lot of frustration and relationship and I want you to shift that narrative for yourself right now by Beginning this work. I also want to talk to you about one more book that I think is critically important I don't actually have the book. I have the CD. It's return to love by Mary Ann Williamson return to love I highly recommend reading this and listening to it because It's a fantastic book to return to your center to return to your inner peace to return to your self-love because when we are loving on ourselves When someone gives us mixed signals or confused we feel solid in our ground too And if it's the right relationship, you'll have their back if it's the wrong relationship Might mean to move on Okay, just because someone says they're confused doesn't mean it's the wrong relationship and yet it still could be It may be the right relationship or it may be the wrong relationship What's most important is the relationship with yourself and that's the relationship you that matters most And that's why I'm a big proponent of self-love All right, speaking of which I'm gonna wrap up this video So I always do first off giving myself a big gigantic chocolate bear hug of self-love I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone or a pet or a teddy bear or a pillow and give it or them A hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and we can all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye. Bye now