 We invite you to enjoy life, like with Luigi, a new comedy show created by Sy Howard, and starring that celebrated actor, Mr. J Carol Nash, with Alan Reed as the swallow. Luigi Basko left Italy to start his new life in America. He promised his mother that he would write and tell her about his adventure. So now let's read Luigi's letter as he writes to Mama Basko in Italy. Mama Mia, is an hour a little more than a year and a half since I'm arriving in America. I remember when I first to come to Chicago, every time I ask somebody how to go somewhere, they always say get the lost. Now I'm here one a year. I know so much I don't have to ask anybody. I get the lost to myself. Another thing, when I'm first to come here, I think all Americans are there talking to themselves. Then I find out that they're chewing a gum. So like every American, I chew gum too. Only one a big difference, I swallow it. Then I find out that you're not supposed to swallow it. You use the gum to paste up at the chairs. Have it up at the holes in the shoes. Keep it together at tables, fill up the cracks in the walls, and lots of other things. Mama Mia, I'm very worried. If they ever stop making a chewing a gum, Americans are gonna fall apart. Where is nothing new to write to Mama Mia? But I was very happy to read in your letter today that you finally received the little radio I must send you a few months ago. Is what they call here midget radio. But I don't want to worry, salesman has told me big people can use it too. I know you're going to enjoy this radio, but the one thing, don't let Don Capietro as a goat to get near it. He's a liable to eat it. Is it going to look very funny when a goat is open up his mouth and out is a comma jackabend. But wait, wait Mama Mia, I'm gonna have to finish this letter later. Is a big wind coming through my door? Luigi, my friend. I love Luigi, I love, I love. Hello, Pascuali. Luigi, a mailman is it just to bring me a letter for you by mistake. Oh, thanks Pascuali. I'm ready. Where is the radio company? Dear Mr. Bosco, final notice. Unless we receive a $20 payment for less than installment on a midget radio by tomorrow, we shall bring a suit against you in a smaller claims of court where we shall oppress the charges. Mama Mia, they're going to press my suit in the court. Easy, Luigi. Be calm. Relax, you friend. Pascuali, what's happened? Well, Pascuali, three months ago I'm ready for $60 on an installment plan. I'm going to make a $2.20 payment. Then I'm asking them nice to wait for the last payment. Now they sent me a letter like this. Pascuali, what's this mean, a smaller claims of court? Is this because they got a smaller claim against me? Oh, what a booby you are. Lucky you got a meat to explain it to you. Smaller claims of court, that's for people who know can make payments on a smaller radio. But Pascuali, Pascuali, I'm gonna midget the radio. Well, they used to have a midget of court, but nobody could get inside, so now everything is a go to a higher court. Higher court? Sure, I could have teach you lots of things about a court. For instance, if somebody is to sue you about a bananas, they go to the court of appeals. But Pascuali, I'm gonna do nothing wrong. I didn't know. Experience is a poor excuse. Now, let me explain to you something about radios in this country, so you know the next time. Is it three kind of radios are here? Short the wave, long the wave, and a permanent wave. What kind of a set are you got? I don't know, but a man has to tell me it's a luster forever. Then you've got a permanent wave. Now look, if you don't pay for short the wave radio, they can give you up to five years. If you don't pay for long a wave, that's up to 20 years. But if you don't pay for permanent a wave, that's a life for sentence. Oh, my man, Pascuali, what am I gonna do? Luigi, you know I'm a no got the heart to see you right to the jail. I'm gonna give you the $20. Pascuali, you gonna do this for me? Sure, my little punk in the head. I do more than this. I give you $22. Pascuali, what's the extra $2 for? Well, while you're paying off it alone, you stop off and buy marriage a license for my daughter Rose. What do you say, my son? Go buy Papa. All right, go ahead. After you pay the radio company so much money, for measly $20, you're gonna lose all the money you're paying in and they're gonna take it back out of radio. Pascuali, I wish I could give it back to the radio and end all of this in trouble, but it's impossible. The radio is in Italy. I'm a sender to my mama for a present. Italy? Oh, Luigi, you in the worst of trouble of your life. What's the matter, Pascuali? Don't you know, sending a radio to Europe at the break of three big United States laws, based on the Dixon law, they like saving the time and at the NRA. NRA, what's that? No radios abroad. Well, it's time for my night school to class and I'm gonna ask for advice from my teacher, Miss Pascuali. All right, all right, to go, but don't expect to know helper from me when you come crawling back with your hands under your knees. Well, go buy Pascuali. Mama Mia, this is a teach me a lesson and next the time I'm about to buy something, uninstall them at the plan, I'm gonna make it the last payment of first. All right class, quiet please. Now I'll call the roll. Mr. Basko. Here. Mr. Howard. Here. Mr. Olsen. Here. Mr. Schultz. Here, here. Mr. Schultz, why must you say here twice? Well, I'm saying one for tomorrow because I expect to be absent. You expect to be absent? What's the reason? Well, I could tell a big lie and tell you I'm going to the baseball game, but I'm gonna tell the truth and say my grandmother died. Well, I'm very sorry to hear that. Will you be gone all day? Yeah, it's a double head up. What? My grandfather died too. Mr. Schultz, I'll expect you here tomorrow night. Why couldn't I keep my big mouth shut? I was really ahead with my grandmother. Enough of that, Mr. Schultz. Now class, before I begin our lesson for today, are there any questions on yesterday's work? Mr. Basko? Mr. Schultz, what's a smaller claims accord? Small claims court. Mr. Basko, we didn't discuss that yesterday. Then please, maybe we discuss it today. A discussion on small claims court? Mr. Basko, what can you possibly get out of that? Asqually says, a 20 years to life. All you veegee, why do you always let that basqually get you so far shimmy? Louis, what kind of trouble have you got now? Well, I'm having so much trouble making the last payment on my radio. I'm about $20. Ah, installment buying. Oh, you're going to be so careful how you buy. Look, take my brother Wolfgang. He bought the television set with installments. See, leave a, what size screen, was it? What's the difference? For the first year, the only thing he's seen is the repair man. Mr. Basko, did you say that the radio company is going to sue you in the small claims court? That's so what they're going to do, Mr. Schultz. Louis, why don't you go see Alderman Johnson? Your whore, that's right, Louis. Alderman Johnson is just like that with every orange in town. Do you think he's going to help me? Oh, sure he will, Louis. My cousin, Hugo, wasn't working for two years, and he went up to Alderman Johnson. He's a fine of a job. Nobody made Hugo number one on the unemployment insurance line. My, Louis. I'm just trying to cheer you up. Well, thanks, the class. I'm going to see the Alderman now. Maybe he's going to help me out. Oh, that's the spirit, Luigi. And don't look so depressed. Smile! Remember, if you let the smile be your umbrella, you can walk in the worst rainstorms, and I guarantee you, you'll die of pneumonia. Just so you got to be worried, now, don't be so just scaredy, cat, Luigi. Even if you don't pay the company the twenty dollars, what can they do it to you? Can they take away your furniture? Can they close up your store? Can they club you in jail for ten years? Sure, sir, can they? Why not? It's a free country. Mr. Alderman Johnson. Oh, hello there, Colucci. Come right in. Colucci, please. The name is a basketball, Luigi basketball. Oh, change your name, eh? Cops after you? Cops? Don't worry, Colucci will beat the rap. Where are you hiding out? Hiding out. I'm a good antique store, and not the whole city street. Great spot. I'll never think of looking for you there. Hold on, Mr. Johnson, don't you remember me, Luigi basketball? I'm a good antique store, and in Windows, a picture of honest Abe. Oh, yes. Your next honest Abe, the used car dealer. Wonderful guy. Where's he hiding out? Oh, please, Mr. Alderman, I'm talking about the Abraham Lincoln, one of the greatest of men who ever lived. The greatest of all. Abraham Lincoln had all the perseverance, all the courage, all the genius, and all the great qualities of leadership that I have. You'll never forget that great inspirational picture of Lincoln crossing the Delaware. I think it was a Washington across in the Delaware. Basketball, this is America. There's room in the boat for everybody. Please, Mr. Alderman, I'm coming to you for help. Well, you've come to the right, man. Everybody in the district comes to me. I'm like a big sister. Then please, Mr. Sister. I'm already a star twenty dollars less dependent on a radio, and they're going to sue me in a smaller claims court than tomorrow. Small claims court? Right up my alley about to go. My buddy, Judge Wilcock handles that court. Good old Squinty, Wilcock, why, he and I once served to turn him together. Turn him in office, of course. Hello, small claim. Get me the judge. Basko, this is right up my alley. Right up at the end here. Hello. Hello, Squinty. Look, I want you to do me a favor. This is Alderman Johnson. Don't worry, Basko, keep your shirt on. Keep it a shirt on. Alderman Johnson, Oscar T. Johnson. This thing looks Jake. Everything is a Jake. Yeah. What? You don't remember me? I'm a back to the alley again. Here, Wilcox, I've got a lot of influence around here, and you can't fluff me off like that. Oh, please, please, Mr. Starzerman, let the Jake put his shirt on. Look here, you squint-eyed ape. I help you get in office, and I can help you out. His name is Luigi Basko, and his case comes up before you tomorrow. Time to the radio company give you. Until tomorrow. Tomorrow, eh? Well, I got it fixed. Oh, thanks to you, Mr. Alderman. Yep. If you grab the super chief in a half hour, you can be in Mexico by then. Second act of Luigi Basko's adventures in Chicago, we turn to page two of his letter to his mother in Italy. Like I'm a Sam, I'm very happy that to your receiver the radio. But I'm also thinking, maybe you don't like it because the color is a no match to the kitchen. So you send it to back, and I'm sending you something else, like a dress or a maybe... Luigi, oh, I fell over. What's the matter? You look terrible. So depressed. Like the bottom herring in the barrel. So, Sam, in a big trouble. Didn't Alderman Chanson help you out? What did he tell you? He told me, he told me, he said, I should have kept him in my shed. And he's gonna talk to Jake who's up his alley and I can have been in Mexico in a half hour. Stop and back up, Luigi. You lost me in the alley. And I should say, there's no use to talk. I can't stay here. I'm gonna go out and get a $20. No, wait, wait, wait, where are you going? What are you carrying in that bag under your arms? I'll just show you. Inside of this bag is an overcoat. I'm gonna go out and get a $20. Inside of this bag is an overcoat. An overcoat inside the bag? What are you trying to do? Keep the bag warm? Why don't you... Oh, I... You are going to sell the overcoat? No, not sure, sir. I would never sell this a coat. It's my papa's coat. And it's a meaner more to me than anything I'm a god. Then why is it I never saw you wearing it? Because the shoes is a knuckle for wearing. You see, when I was leaving Italy for America, I'm gonna never forget that today. All the people over my town, Castellamare, was down at the boat to see me go away. I remember how they all shouted, Goodbye, Luigi! Goodbye! Then our mayor used to walk up to me, shake her hands, and he kissed me on the boat to cheat. Oh, Luigi. That's all right, the shoes. Then the mayor used to make a speech to me. And she said, Luigi, your family Bosco is living in Castellamare for 300 years. And now you're going away to plant a new life in America with all the finest seed that your family is to give you. All the ways you remember Castellamare and your family, and you have a good luck. Then she's a hand-to-me envelope. I'm opening it up and inside is a say from the people of Castellamare. You know, there was a $50 in American money. Thank goodness I thought maybe there was going to be another speech inside. You know, Schultz, for a minute, I was just a standard there and no able to say anything. You know what I'm going to say? No, friends, thank you. I'm going to take this money. You need it. It's enough for me to always remember this today. And then when I'm again on a boat, my mum is coming to me and she's a say, Luigi, you're not taking the money, but I want you to have something to remember. Then she's going to give me my papa's overcoat. I'm going to never touch it until now. Ach, Luigi, now I understand. You don't want to sell the coat. You want to pound it. That's right, Schultz. But as soon as I'm going to get the money, I'm going to take the coat to ride the back. Schultz, you know some porn brokers? Ach, do I know a porn broker? Luigi, they're the place over on Dearborn Street. Every time I pass the window, it's like looking into my own living room. Come on, Luigi, I go with you. Maybe going to the porn broker will bring you luck. Oh, thank you, Schultz. You know, Luigi, my aunt Hilda once got a divorce, so she went to the porn broker with her wedding ring. Oh, did she get a lot of money? She was getting $25 a week, and she's still wearing that ring. But Schultz, how's it possible? She married the porn broker. Come on, Luigi, we get that money. Schultz, I'm going to feel much better already. You real friend. America, I love you. You like the papa to me. Promotion toward me. Here's the pawn shop. Oh, look at that window. The sun is fading. My love seeds. You know, they used to have Venetian blinds in that window to protect it, but somebody took them out of Hark. Luigi, good morning, Zeiss. But Schultz, are you coming in with the money? No, no, no. It breaks my heart every time that porn broker drops ashes on my Persian rock. Good morning, Luigi. I made out Zeiss. Hello? Excuse me. I'm bringing this overcoat, and I'd like to buy some money on it. Well, let's have a look at it. You see how nice it is to look? It's got a silk lining, a pile of buttons, and a genuine beaver collar. Well, let me see. I'll give you two dollars. Two dollars? Please, mister, you don't know what the kind of a coat this is. It's the one of the finest in all Italy. It was a gift to me by my father, and it is a father to give it to him. I didn't realize it was worn that much. Make it a dollar. A dollar? But, mister, I'm gonna have a twenty dollars. Look, mister, I got fifty coats. People leave them and never call for them. What am I gonna do with all these coats? Maybe it's gonna be a cold winter, and you can wear them. Please, please, give me the money. I promise you, as soon as you give me the money, I'm gonna pay you. I'm sorry. One buck. Take it or leave it. If you don't mind, I'm gonna leave it. Or leave the coat? No, at the start. How did you make out? Sure, sir, it wasn't no good. He mail for me one a dollar. No. But look at that love seat in the window. He gave me thirteen dollars for that love seat. And half of it was never used. I gotta get back to my store now. I wish I could help you more. Well, I'll thank you for trying the shoes. You're a real friend. Well, smile, Luigi. Smile, cheer up. Remember what they say in the clothing business. Every gray suit has a silver lining. And behind every April shower is hiding Al Jolten. Very good-bye, Luigi. And remember, smile. Smile. Oh, my rheumatism is good. Hello, Pascuale. So you're coming back, just like I said, like a puppy dog with his tail in between his ears. Well, you get that at twenty dollars for the radio yet? No. Sure, I might hide all about how you tried. Luigi, why are you running around like a crazy little rabbit looking for the radio? You're running like a crazy little rabbit looking for that greenest stuff. When all the time, I'ma sit in the hair with this big head of cabbage. You're so right, Pascuale. You're biggest of the cabbage head, I know. It's a funny thing. When I'ma say it, it's a come-out of differance. Luigi, why are you struggling so much? Why are you no give-up? You marry my Rosa. I'ma pay radio people twenty dollars. Is there no small claims of court? Your mamas are keeping the radio everybody's at. What a pleasure, Pascuale. All right, all right. Don't marry Rosa. Go ahead. You've got a court that they export you. So somebody else is importing you. Then they export you, yet. Then there's import, export, import, export. What? Is your whole ambition and life to be like a sardine? Pascuale, please, I'ma feel it terrible. Then you need somebody to cheer you up. Just to take one more look at my little pigeon before you make up your yes or no, eh? Rosa! Rosa! My little Cupid darling, say hello to Luigi. Hello, Rosa. So Luigi's making up his mind about you right now. Now you're giving him a little idea of what's to happen when he's married to you. He's coming home at night, he's open up the door, and what do you say to him? Luigi, did you bring the Papineco? Oh! Well, Luigi, what do you say? There's a Pascuale. All right, all right, you stupid boo, but don't make it a last payment. Let the NRA get to you. The NRA? That's all right, we see who's going to have the last to laugh, but this is where you finish. Pardon me, who's Mr. Basko? That's my name, I'm a Luigi Basko. Greetings. What, I'm into the army? Small claims court. It's from the squared deal radio company. Well, Luigi, what are you going to do now? You're standing in the lap for justice. Well, where are you going to get the $20, little man? Please, mister, you're going to get the money if you just wait a little longer. Sure, mister, he's going to get the money. How? He's a broken down little businessman, he's got a penny. Hey, Luigi, maybe you sell the man that a coat that you brought here in the video. Hey, that ain't a bad coat. Please, I don't touch the coat. Oh, go ahead, try it on, mister. Maybe you buy the coat and give Luigi the $20 that you take care of the servant. Mister, take your hands off of the coat. Don't get excited. Hey, this is nice. Silk lining, beaver collar. Well, Luigi looks like you've got a custom he's going to buy. Fits me perfectly. But you've got a deal. Forget the summons, I'll take care of the $23.85, and I keep the coat. Hey, Luigi, you made a deal. I'm a surprise of myself. Look at that coat. I'm going to never get the money, but I'm going to like to see you out of my stock. All right, I'm going to jail. I'm going to do whatever I'm going to pay you, Bill. But that's the radio. They're with my mum and me, and the people of Acosta de la Mare. They're going to be happy a listener to it. Now, you take off that coat. All right, all right. Hey, what's this in the pocket? Looks like something is sewed up here in the pocket. What? I'm open up. Hey, Luigi, I said money is a fallout. 50 bucks. Luigi, what's there to say on the letter? Well, Luigi, why you don't read it? Oh, I did a countryman, Luigi. Today, you live in Italy. You say you don't want to do some money because you say we need it tomorrow. Luigi, you're young yet. Someday, maybe you'll find yourself all alone. Money is a help you out. Over here, we got each other. It's more than money. Always remember Castellamare and your family. And you have good luck. Hey, there's something else in this other pocket. Here is a note. Read it, Luigi. Go ahead. Dear Luigi, what's in this pocket? Never take out. Always a lever here. Huh! Here's a feel I could be. Could be gold. I look great. Wait, wait. Don't touch it. Luigi, you're gambling a man. I'm a gambling a man, too. I'll give you $20 a cash for anything what's in that pocket. What do you say, eh? Oh, no, no, no, no. Oh, come on, Luigi. Here's a $20. All right, if you want so much. Good. Now give me what's in that pocket. Well, all right, Pasquale. Here. Two more, the balls. I can't. The Pasquale is against the big Lord, the NRA. NRA? No refunds allowed. They won't get out of my pocket. And so, Mamma Mia, I was thinking of things over. And I think maybe you should keep the radio. Even if it's no match to your furniture. After all, radio was invented by Italian a fellow. Maracogni. And now he's been sponsored by two other Italians. Como and Sinatra. And oh, yes, Mamma Mia, thanks for that money you put for me in a pop as a coat of pocket. That's a coming very handy. And I hope you forgive me, Mamma Mia, because I did something you didn't want that shoe to do. You write on a note, I should not take out of a pocket. But I want a Pasquale. He is offering me ten dollars a month. The ball I could not resist. Finally, you're loving the son of Luigi, the little immigrant. Nick is under the direction of Jeff Alexander. Bob Stevenson speaking. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.