 Item number SCP-ROCKS-J Object Class Safe Special Containment Procedures All instances of SCP-ROCKS-J are to be stored in a soundproof container, large enough to contain all 26 instances. As instances of SCP-ROCKS-J have reacted negatively to being separated from one another, instances have been allowed to be contained in the same container, as long as they keep disputes and arguments to a minimum. Description SCP-ROCKS-J refers to the total of 26 variant types of large river rocks. All instances are fully sentient and capable of vocal communication, despite lacking mouths. All instances speak in an identical loud, high-pitched voice. Each instance bears a pair of large googly eyes, which despite appearing non-anomalous, allows instances to visually perceive their surroundings. All instances of SCP-ROCKS-J are capable of minor telekinesis, which they use to move. Instances are unable to use their abilities in any lifeforms or objects other than themselves. Instances of SCP-ROCKS-J have been designated SCP-ROCKS-J A to Z. SCP-ROCKS-J are considered non-threatening to Foundation staff. Instances show a low level of intelligence, and lack the ability to pay attention to one specific subject for even a short amount of time, and on occasion experience severe memory loss. With instances often forgetting personnel and previously learned information. SCP-ROCKS-J was discovered in ██ River, located in ██ England. Instances at the time of discovery were attempted to communicate with a nearby pigeon. Instances ended with an instance of SCP-ROCKS-J having apparently become inspired, and proceeded to perform a rap about pigeons. Lyrics consisted of Pigeons, Pigeons, Vermin of the Street, Pigeons, Pigeons, The Real Lee Neat. Interview Rocks-J-1 Subjects, SCP-ROCKS-J Begin Log Good Evening, I'm Dr. Agnew. Where are Rocks? Indeed you are. I'll be interviewing you all today. Our names are Bob, Steve, Jessica, Robert, Kyle, Carl, Jessica again, Paul, Kevin, Steve again. Uh, don't worry, there's no need to tell me all of your names. I was hoping a few of you could share some useful information regarding your origins or biology. It shall be me, I speak for the Rocks. Now you don't. Speak for yourself, Arnold. Shut it, Bob. You're not supposed to like to speak up in the last Rock Committee meeting. See, this is exactly what I was talking about. I was sick of you insistently playing the word Rock and put out everything we do. It's an important wording choice. The world needs to know that we are Rocks and proud. They do not. They can plainly see that we are Rocks just by looking at us, and also one with big glorious eyes on them. SCP-ROCKS-JB turns to Dr. Agnew and begins shaking intensely for several seconds, causing his googly eyes to shake rapidly. You see? Um, I certainly do. See? He gets it. You should think before you start talking shit. That's it. I'm going to knock your Rocks off. That pun wasn't even funny, we don't wear socks. That joke works neither as a humorous line, or as one that makes sense. This is the last outburst you'll make. SCP-ROCKS-JB and B levitate several centimeters off of the ground, and begin to repeatedly tap into each other using their telekinetic abilities. Dr. Agnew stares in disbelief for roughly 30 seconds before interfering. Okay, let's just... Look, just calm down alright? There's no need. He separated Arnold and Bob. Crap, this guy must be on the real shit. Instances A and B lower to the ground. Sorry, we had no idea you were so jacked, bro. You gotta show me what you lived. What? No, I don't... Okay. Let's start again with something else. He shall be our king! We have a king now? Sweet! Now this is getting strange. All instances of SCP-ROCKS-J levitate in unison and begin slowly moving towards Dr. Agnew. Alright, that's it! I'm done! Dr. Agnew retreats from the interview room. End log. Post-interview report. Upon leaving the interview room, SCP-ROCKS-J continued to vocalize the word hail for the following 10 minutes. SCP-ROCKS-J eventually ceased its behavior, apparently forgetting what they had been doing. Following this, instances appeared to have a discussion regarding the hierarchy of their group. This later ended with instances organizing a hierarchy amongst themselves, consisting of royal titles of various continents, all of which were altered to feature the word rock, or a type of rock. Interview ROCKS-J 2. Subjects. SCP-ROCKS-J. Begin log. Hello again, SCP-ROCKS-J. Have we met? You don't recall? We... Never mind that. I'm Dr. Agnew. We're ROCKS! I know. I'm here to interview you. What's your favorite color? Excuse me? Ours are red, blue, yellow, pink, burgundy, pink again, orange, pink a third time, blue again, silver, crimson, pink. Sorry to interrupt you, but I was hoping to speak to you about your origins. Do you have a chance to know where you came from? I'm pretty sure we came from a place called Maid in China. It's printed on my bottom. I thought we were from Barcelona. You would, Roderick. Shut up, Kevin. No one likes you. I don't even remember getting this tattoo. Well, I have one with one entertainment on it. You can't prove anything. It'll never hold in the court of law. And Steve's a lawyer. SCP-ROCKS-J.S. appears with a necktie attached to it. I'm a lawyer? Yes, and we have a rock solid alibi. Jesus, not this again. Stop pet you two. We're trying to discuss serious legal things. I think these jerks want to sue us. I thought this was a murder trial. Murder? They can't prove that. Thank God we drowned in the river when they were recovered. What's even going on anymore? Who are we drowning? Pitch-ass mouth. N-Log. Interview Rocks-J-3. Subjects. SCP-ROCKS-J.S. in a pile of non-anomalous rocks. Begin log. Several seconds of silence. No response. You're very rude. End log.