 J-E-L-L-O The Jell-O program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Dennis Day and yours truly, Don Wilson. The orchestra opens the program with the airs, yes, yes, in your eyes. Snowy white Easter rabbits, gaily colored Easter eggs, flowerbedect Easter bonnets, red, blue, white, green, yellow, everywhere you turn on Easter the key note is color. In fact that's one reason why so many thousands of families today choose a beautiful Jell-O dessert for dinner. Jell-O is as bright and colorful as an Easter parade, a perfect picture of tempting goodness, the center of attention at every table and believe me it's every bit as appetizing as it is attractive. Jell-O you know comes in six brilliant shimmering colors and whichever you choose you get a world of swell, delicious flavor, rich tangy flavor and a refreshment that rivals the ripe juicy fruit itself. So enjoy this grand dessert often, ask your grocer for several packages of Jell-O tomorrow and when you buy look for the big red letters on the box, they spell Jell-O and Jell-O spells a treat. There's yes, yes, in your eyes played by the orchestra and now ladies and gentlemen I bring you a man who last Sunday gave us his interpretation of the hunchback of Notre Dame. Now I will not say that his performance surpassed Charles Lawton's. Well no. In fact let's forget about Lawton and bring you Jack Benny. Jell-O again this is Jack Benny talking and Don when you criticize my performance last Sunday, well that's just silly. That's like trying to run down the Gettysburg address that can't be done. In other words Jack you feel that you made history last Sunday night. Definitely. Now I'll concede I can't become a great dramatic actor in one week but you'll have to admit that when I played Quasimodo the hunchback I got off to a flying star. Well Jack to tell you the truth I was only kidding because I thought you gave a swell performance and I thought Orson Wells was excellent as the king of France. Oh he was, he was and he's a very fine teacher too. He certainly is. Oh by the way Jack what are you paying him for lessons? I don't know Don. I'll just wait till he sends me a bill and then we'll get down to business. At that time we'll see who's the better actor. But you know Don a lot of people stop me during the week and mention how much they enjoyed our program. I wonder if the newspapers had any comment on it. I didn't run across anything Jack. Did you happen to see anything Dennis? No I didn't Mr. Benny. Well you think that, say Phil you didn't see anything in the papers about our last Sunday's broadcast did you? There was nothing in the ration form about it. Well of course there wasn't. But you know fellas with Orson Wells on the show you'd think that some newspaper would have- Well say Jack come to think of it I did hear that some columnist covered it last Monday. I think it was Ed Sullivan. Ed Sullivan? Well what did he have to say? I didn't read it myself but they tell me it was quite favorable. Quite favorable? Don listen to this. I got a copy of it right here. Get this. Well for heaven's sake if you got a copy of it with you why did you ask everybody if they'd seen anything in the paper? Because I didn't want to be a ham unless it was absolutely necessary. Get a load of this here's what Ed Sullivan says. The Jelloprack program last night was highlighted by the appearance of Mr. Orson Wells whose performance as the king in the hunchback of Notre Dame was Well Jack Benny Well Jack Benny gave a vivid characterization as Quasimodo the hunchback. Mr. Benny's groans and grunts were the greatest things since Stranger Lewis retired. How's that? Gee that's well Mr. Benny. Yeah darn tootin' that Stranger Lewis was no slouch. There's a lot more here fellas but that gives you an idea. That's very nice Jack. I'd like to have a copy of that review. Here Don take this. I happen to have another one in my pocket here. May I have a look at it Mr. Benny? Yes Dennis you can have this other one. Hey Dennis let me have that clipping when you get through with it I want to pass it around the boys in my band. Okay. Here Phil I happen to have seven or eight more copies with me. Pass these around. Oh boy what a guy gets his name in a column and buys every newspaper in town. I didn't do it to be egotistical. I just bought those papers because well because I believe in buying things. You know I'm trying to bring back prosperity. Well if you ever loosen up you're just the guy that can do it. Oh stop Phil you're just jealous because I got a little publicity. Now let me tell you something Phil you'd get good notices too if you try to improve yourself like I do. I mean instead of giving us those hot swing tunes all the time why don't you play something more elevating. You mean them classics? Them or those that's what I mean. Would add a little dignity to the program. I can give you that kind of stuff just name it. You want something from William Tell or Rigoletto or Fawcett? That's Fawcett. Fawcett. Something from Fawcett Phil is a glass of water. You wouldn't recognize that either. What a band. You know Phil you've got three violin players who sit there week after week play piece after piece and no one can hear them. Well that's because my brass section is too loud. Well for heaven's sake why don't you make them quiet down. They got something on me. Well as long as you're on a spot I forgive you. Well it just seems a shame that you have. Well look who's here. Hello Mary. Hello Jack. Hello fellow. Well hello Mary. You hear that applause Mary everybody missed you last Sunday. How you feeling Mary. Oh I'm much better down but I was a pretty sick girl believe me. Oh boy did I have a cold. Pretty bad huh. I'll say sugar plum said I had a temperature of 103. Sugar plum. That's my doctor. Oh. Pet names already. What is this a romance. Not yet but if I have a relapse I'll get him. I see. So you're kind of stuck on your doctor a Mary. Gee. Right now I would need an apple for a thousand dollars. Well let me tell you something Mary and this is for your own protection. Don't have a doctor around just because he's good looking. Does this fellow know anything about medicine. Does he. He graduated from Warner Brothers. Well that studio is practically the Johns Hopkins of the west. But I'll tell you one thing Mary you better take care of yourself from now on. Yes sir we need you on this program. That's right. Yeah you should have been here last Sunday Mary and watched Jackson make a monkey out of himself. Make a monkey out of myself. That's right. Dennis you don't have to agree with everybody. Say Mary you heard the show last week. I did all right with that Charles Lawton part didn't I. Sugar plum didn't like it. Who cares about sugar plum. I asked you what you thought of it. I thought it was all right but G Jack ever since you got this acting bug you've gone haywire. What do you mean. You should see the way he walks around Beverly Hills cell is all dressed up and carrying a cane cane. I certainly I was carrying a cane because I hurt my leg in Yosemite. What were the facts for bandages. Mary I went in the store to buy a cane and there was a special on cane spats and a pound of peanut brittle for. Anyway I wasn't trying to show off a lot of actors wear spats wait a minute wait a minute. Nobody wears spats in Southern California it's too hot here. Without socks what are you talking about. I just had nothing to do with my performance last Sunday. Mary did you see one of those clippings about Jack from Ed Sullivan's column. Did I Jack pasted them on Easter eggs and hit them all over my house. Mary I just did that to take your mind off your sickness that's all. Now Dennis. Yes please. Let's have a song and put an end to all this heckling. Gee I meant to tell you Mr. Benny I got a pretty sore throat today and I don't think I'll be able to sing. Oh that's too bad. Why don't you tell me sooner. Fine time to tell me now I can't bring in another tenor. Yeah I'm not so dumb am I. No yet not so deep as a well. But you put me in a spot here. Oh no he hasn't Jackson Mary and I can sing a song can't we marry. Yeah Harrison Livingston anything from Darden Ella to Fawcett. Well we're stuck but we'll have to make the best of it. Hit it boys. Well it looks like I'm in the dog house. Yes Phil you pulled the bloomer. Well I'll say this this thing of being crowded behind that eight ball. Is more than just the rumor. Oh now look honey look all I can say is. I know I haven't any sense of humor. Well what if I did stay out kind of late. Yeah but you were coming from another date. Well holy smoke can't you take a joke. Okay Phil look how about that lipstick on your tie. Honey don't say lipstick you know I'm crazy about cherry pie. Holy smoke. Well can't you take a joke. Look if you don't believe me why don't you sit down and write to Beatrice Fairfax. That's what I'm gonna do. Be sure while you're writing honey that you only give us a bear fact. She'll say I'm cuckoo. Now wait now you know I didn't mean to tell those lies. I know it must have been two other guys. Well holy smoke can't you take a joke. I don't know why you're always squawking after all. I saw you out with another man. Oh Phil don't be silly that was just my uncle Dan. Oh holy smoke can't you take a joke. Well then tell me something. Where did you get that great big beautiful limousine. Oh I won that out of one of those claw machines. Oh holy smoke can't you take a joke. You know Mary the reason I check up is because I'm jealous. I'm awfully jealous of everything you do. Oh Phil look I don't want those handsome fellas. All I wanted you. See you kids are cute. Well now look let's let all this silly talk cease. Well gee can't an uncle just kiss his niece. There you go holy smoke can't you take a joke. That was holy smoke played by the orchestra with a vocal refrain by Harris and Livingston. This sterling team will appear tomorrow night at Barney's Beanery on the dollar dinner. And now ladies and gentlemen. Gee Miss Livingston you sang that number swell. Thank you Dana. You too Mr. Harris you're great. Thanks. Gosh you've got a voice like a lark. Yes lark meaning the train that runs between here and San Francisco. Two two. And now ladies and gentlemen I have a surprise announcement. Mr. Don Wilson that eminent American playwright has written another of his famous one act dramas and title loves young green. Take it Mr. Wilson. The time is spring and the scene is a honeymoon cottage all covered with ivy. It is the new home of Mr. and Mrs. Oliver J. Snodgrass who have just eloped and been married. As we pick them up the happy couple is arriving at their little love nest for the first time curtain music. Here we are darling 33 Maple Street our own little home. Oh it's beautiful sweetheart. We'll be so happy here. Yeah. Gee just think 20 minutes ago your name was Myrtle Moonfinkel. And now and now I'm a snot in the grass. That's not grass. Gee our own little home. Well let's go inside honey. You go first. No you go first Oliver. I don't want to you go first. No no you go first. Three hours later. Ah honey you go first. Oh let's go in together. All right. Oh Myrtle stop. Gee Myrtle isn't a romantic eloping. Nobody knows we're married except us. Oh. Gosh we're all alone. Oh Oliver I love you so much. And I love you too darling. But what would your mother say when she finds out we're married. I don't care what she says your mind Myrtle Moonfinkel and nothing compartments. Come darling I will show you all the rooms in the house. Oh Oliver. Myrtle stop acting like a darn fool. Oliver I'm worried about your mother. Please call her and tell her we're married. All right dear if it'll make you any happier I will. Oh Myrtle darling you've made me the happiest man in the world. And we'll never be separated will we. Never. Kiss me honey punch. My dream man. Hello. Pardon me Myrtle. Hello Ma this is Oliver. I got a surprise for you Ma. What's that? No no I can't be home for dinner. Now look Ma I got a surprise for you. You're having what? Oh tell her about us Oliver. I will I will. You're having what for dinner? You are? Oh boy I'll be right home. Goodbye Myrtle I gotta go home to dinner. But Oliver we're just married. I can't help but Ma's having jello for dessert. Goodbye darling I'll see you in the morning. All of you ladies the moral of this story is never start your honeymoon without jello. What happened to Myrtle Moonfinkel may happen to you or you or you. So always insist on genuine jello and live happily ever after. I thank you. Very good Don that was one of the best plays you've ever written. Yeah that was swell Don congratulations. Yes sir. Oh Andy hello Andy I didn't see you. Hello Andy good to see you. I'm glad you dropped in Andy you don't get around as often as you used to. Well I got a brand new suit for Easter so I thought I'd come up model it for you. Oh. Not bad for twenty two fifty eight. Twenty two fifty. Yes suit Cain Spats and a pound of peanut brittle. I believe I know where you got it. Say Mary Mary what do you think of Andy's new suit. He looks like he fell off the cover of a rude joke book. He does not he looks very smart. All of the pants seem to be a little tight. Aren't the pants too tight for you Andy. Tied I went out for some fresh air this morning and when I bent over to tie my shoe lace I got it. Well the audience didn't but let it go. Go on a diet Andy you'll be all set. Say Andy the next time you want to get a new suit let me take you to my tailor. He's a little extreme but he's terrific. A little extreme. Phil the lapels on your coat have a bigger wing spread than the china clipper. Well that's the way I like them anyway it's the latest style I saw it in Esquire. Oh you did. Listen Phil you never saw anything in Esquire that didn't say oh I thought my husband was in Philadelphia under it. Now Andy. Hey Andy where are you. Here I am Buck. Oh. Now Andy the next time you want to get a suit of clothes let me take you to my tailor. He'll not only do a great job but he's one of the sweetest and most lovable guys in the world. Why didn't you say that for father's day. Mary I'm not referring to my father he never made a suit in his life. And what was he doing in the star and walking in with his legs crossed playing Indian. Oh don't be smart just because you had a cold he wasn't playing Indian. I knew an Indian once that wore a blanket with a belt in the back. That's very interesting Dennis. Now go sit down so much for your dialogue. Now Andy stick around Phil's going to play in a minute and then we'll have some fun. Sorry Buck I can't stand taking more on part of the Trocadero. Why Andy the Trocadero is temporarily closed. The Trocadero Bully Mallies we were there last night. Oh that's different I didn't know you're more on Paul Boll. Oh Ma's all right but Pa can't stay out of the gutters. Come on Buck. So long Andy. Now there's one family that has a good time. Say Phil as long as you're standing there with a baton in your other hand you might as well direct a number. This ain't a baton it's a toothpick for a rhinoceros. Wow there's a Lulu. Oh quiet. Just play something. Oh Jack this is terrible I just happened to think of something. What is it Mary? You let Andy go home without giving him a copy of Ed Sullivan's column. Gee I sure did. Oh keep still. Play Phil everybody thinks they got my gold. Oh I love you played by Phil Harris and his independent orchestra. Independent meaning it's every man for himself and the last one in is a rotten egg. Blues. I guess that'll take care of you Mr. Harris. Well it's just like they say in the east Ben he tries to be funny but he's nothing but a straight man for Orson Welles. What? Who? Who says that in the east? You know who said it he's on the air every Wednesday night. Oh you mean the voice of Salopatica? Well I happened to hear Mr. Allen's program last Wednesday. And I'd much rather be a straight man for Orson Welles than a perch for an eagle. Did you hear his program Mary? Yeah and what do you think of Fordham University giving him a bronze plaque for being their favorite comedian? It was very nice. But let me tell you something Mary if that plaque is worth over $3 I'll bet $45 it's in the hawk shop right now. He hasn't got any more sentiment than a macro. What do you mean Jack? Well after this about five years ago when we were good friends I gave Allen a gold watch for his birthday and I inscribed on it to Fred from Jack with deep affection. Yes. And after one little argument after one little argument he runs to the jewelers and has it changed from deep to cheap. How do you like that? That was after our first fight. What was the fight about Jack? What was it about Allen refused to pay for a suit that dad made for him. Hey wait a minute I thought you said your father didn't make suits. I didn't say my father made that suit I said dad. Jay dad and company. Fifth Avenue. Well if it wasn't your father why fight with a guy over a strange tailor. Because I worry about everything and shut up. Now Dennis how about a song? I told you I had a sore throat. Oh yes I'm all mixed up. Now where was I? Oh and now ladies and gentlemen I have a very important announcement to... Hmm it burns me up that suit fitted him like a glove. I have a very important announcement to make regarding next week's attraction. Oh Phil give me a fanfare will you? Fanfare what's that? You know make with the beauty. Oh okay take it butch. The best suit he ever had. And now ladies and gentlemen I would like to announce our feature attraction for next week. Next Sunday night the Benny applauses our food so do not starve us players. We'll present their version of the greatest children's classic of all time. None other than Walt Disney's superb technicolor production. That immortal fairy tale. That pen and ink masterpiece Fred Allen. I mean Pinocchio. Now in as much as Pinocchio will be one of the most important efforts in our current season. We've been at this time like to give you a few of the highlights from this great production. First, pardon me. Hello? Hello Mr. Benny this is Rochester. Rochester if I told you once I told you a thousand times not to call me up in the middle of a broadcast. Well this is important boys I was just leaving the house so I thought I better tell you I put the key under the mat. Now wait a minute who told you you could have the night off? Well this is a holiday and I thought I'd take Carmichael to see Grape's a rat. That's silly. Why would Carmichael go to Grape's a rat? He wants to see if it's anything like the book. Now don't give me that stuff if you want to go out with your girl tonight you should come right out and say so. Okay can I go out with my girl tonight? No. Can I go out for just one hour? No. Well can I invite her over to the house? No. We're in a rut boys let's start over. Now Rochester I don't want to seem harsh or cruel or anything but you know you were supposed to stay home tonight and mail out those letters. Oh boys do you have to send Mr. Sullivan's column to everybody you know? Your friends are interested believe me. I want those letters mailed out tonight every one of them and as soon as you're through you can go out with your girl. That may be too late she ain't the truest thing in town. Well that's your worry. Now mail out all those letters and be sure to send the out of town ones air mail. I ain't got any stamps. No stamps? What did you do with that ten dollars I gave you this morning to buy them with? I'll tell you boys I was on my way to the drug store this afternoon to get them and all the way over I kept seeing stamps, stamps, stamps. Uh huh. And just before I got there I stopped in the garage where a friend of mine works. Uh huh. And the next thing I knew I was on my knees saying seven, seven, seven. I see so you lost that ten dollars shooting craps eh? We prefer to call it Mississippi Bridge. I don't care what you prefer my ten dollars you lost is coming out of your next week's salary. The whole ten dollars? Yes all of it. That's a neat trick if you can do it. I can so don't worry. I'll take ten dollars out of your salary next week if I have to give you a raise to do it. Now get busy on those letters and I'll bring some stamps home with me goodbye. Goodbye oh say boss. What? Mr. Orson Welles called up about our dramatic lessons tomorrow morning. Our dramatic lesson? Yeah you're doing Anthony and I'm Cleopatra. Get out of here. Lesson for me exclusively and goodbye. Always has to horn in on everything. Let me see where were we? Uh you were about to give us some of the highlights from Pinocchio but there isn't much time left. Oh well anyway folks be sure and tune in next Sunday night for our supreme novelty of the season. Pinocchio take it Don. See the wooden puppet who becomes human. Gee I can walk and I can talk too. See Stromboli the wicked gypsy who kidnaps little Pinocchio. Ah you cannot escape Pinocchio. You will make lots of money for me. You're a wicked man. Help, help. See Monstro the largest whale in all the seven seas. Are you back to the hunchback? That's an imitation of a whale. See Jiminy Cricket the tiny insect who becomes Pinocchio's conscience. Chirp chirp. These are only a few of the many fascinating characters who will entertain you next weekend Pinocchio. Play Phil. And now ladies here's your good deed for tomorrow. Delight the family with a new exciting treat something really original. A novel and delicious jello dessert made with bright tangy jello and your favorite cereal. It's a perfect dessert for any time at all for lunch or dinner or for those late evening snacks. All for a grand one dish Sunday supper. And it's wonderfully easy to make. Simply dissolve one package of cherry jello or any of the other red flavors in one pint of hot water. Turn into a shallow pan and chill until firm. Then cut into tiny glistening cubes and place in cereal dishes and on top pile generous quantities of any cold cereal. Such as post toasties or great nuts flakes. And there's enjoyment of plenty. A delightfully different dessert shining cubes of rich crimson jello topped off with your favorite cereal. So try this new jello dessert tomorrow. It's really swell. This is the last number of the 25th program in the current jello series. And we will be with you again next Sunday night at the same time. Say Mary where did Jack go? He had to rush over to Orson Well's program. They're putting on a play June moon. Oh that's a legitimate play isn't it? Well it's supposed to be but Jack will take care of that. Good night folks. And here's more fun and enjoyment for you. Tune in every Tuesday night for another swell half hour of jello entertainment. The famous Walrich family. See your local paper or movie and radio guide for time and station. This is the National Broadcasting Company.