 Well, hello and welcome to Jonathan from the heart. I'm Jonathan as they have Jonathan as they comment I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today our topic the four things men deeply desire Four things men deeply desire, but they're afraid to ask All right. I had to do the little shot for the Thumbnail, okay Really quickly if this content resonates with you. This is actually my Saturday morning videos I shoot for you all but it's very similar to the videos I shoot in my private group called midlife love mastery check out the link to the VIP group below Where I shoot three videos a week based on the questions you ask So if you join the group today and post a question in the group, I'll shoot a video just for you Okay, those four things Four things men deeply desire, but they're afraid to ask, you know ladies I know as your heart protector. I sometimes come on very strong very passionate very Demonstrative very protective of men who are jerks. I get it There are plenty of men who are jerks out there and what I'm really mean to say is men who are myopic They're selfish. They're only in it for their own needs and sadly This is a significant percentage of Men and women alike this isn't singular to men women do the same thing that can be very Myopic and only focused on their own needs now There's certainly the entitled type of woman and then there's the doormat type of woman out there Now these are two types There's certainly plenty of women like yourself who are genuinely heart based very heart centered not so myopic Maybe you are maybe you are maybe you are selfish and yes There are plenty of jerks out there and plenty of men who are jerks out there But the reality is is the vast majority of men are good people that have good hearts Just like the vast majority of women are good people a good heart There's just wounding there that makes it very difficult for them to break out of their bad behavior Their unconscious behavior into something more substantial something more mature And this is one of the reasons why if you follow my work I talk about my book frequently called what the heck is self-love anyway? What the heck is self-love anyway? It's a journey of personal development self-help and spiritual work So you can begin to love oneself on the inside and you attract People who are also conscious and aware like yourself because that's my invitation for you because men Who have done the work women have done the work are desiring these four things these four things You're all desiring these four things. This is men and women like and this is what makes people happy So I want to lean into that right now and first I want to lean into Attention giving someone attention This is so hugely important relationship is to give attention and within attention Includes giving compliments, you know, it's interesting men rarely get a compliment in any given day women I mean prior to COVID when you're in the workforce You're getting compliments all the time. Oh my god. What cute shoes you're wearing. Oh my god. I love your purse What did you do to your hair? It looks fantastic men get zero compliments in any given day So when we give some attention when we give some compliments To another human being this is men and women alike. We're going to see them perk up Now I recognize a lot of men are incapable of receiving. This is a challenge This is why I'm a big proponent of choosing men who have done some sort of personal development self-help and spiritual work So they can start leaning into the potential of being in a healthy happy relationship If you haven't read the book if the Buddha dated if the Buddha dated this is a great book Because it talks about the spiritual Aspects of a relationship that takes out the gender Expectations and starts leaning into what does it mean to be in a heart-centered place? What does it mean to approach the process without gender and More from a place of compassion for loving oneself Compassion loving oneself Attention that's a great way to start next is affection affection we Touching people like we we both men and women like need affection. We need touching This is one of the love languages in the five love languages Oh, I didn't bring out the copy of the book the five love languages But in that is physical touch and we all human beings need physical touch to feel a connection with another human being and Men and women alike are deeply desiring this But oftentimes you're just afraid to ask or afraid to talk about this You know I recognize that I Have to pause for a second Something just hit me as I'm sharing with you Yeah, it's it's the holidays right now I'm not cursing on this video. I'm not gonna have salty language on this video because I Missing my son deeply. I'm missing my son deeply and for those who know me his nickname was is salty is salty and Interestingly enough and I I'm leaning into this conversation because I know as a single man out there There's a lot of myopic people women too that aren't leaning into a more Compassionate way to date and I'm here to say and I've got my cup today. Oops. By the way, my spoon says check this out I got this gift. It says Salty, I hope you can see that salty forever salty forever This was a gift from one of my clients is so sweet to send me this and honor my son But my cup to today says do all things with love do all things with love and that's what I want to encourage a More compassionate loving way to approach the dating process And I'm feeling angst today Because I'm missing my son deeply For those who don't know my son passed my 19-year-old son Connor passed away two years ago and The holiday spurs this up and it's a reminder of why compassion is so important Why love is so important why doing all things with love is so important? attention affection appreciation Feeling deeply appreciated in relationship Men and women like we need to feel appreciated and we're all thirsty for this But we're afraid to ask and this is what genuinely makes us happy when we feel appreciated for our efforts And I can say as a man I've talked to hundreds of men who have gone through divorce and the number one thing that they shared what they felt Was missing in their relationship Was feeling appreciated And I know you know this too because you have oftentimes felt unappreciated in relationship You invested a tremendous amount of love in a relationship with someone who wasn't meeting you on the 50 yard line You're you were here and they were over here. Do you see this difference? This is why I'm a big proponent of investing in a two a relationship is a two lane street And it starts from the very first date Equally investing in one another to actually have any potential of working and that starts by appreciating and being in gratitude I oftentimes share the story in one of my or in my videos about a woman. I went on on a first date and I bought our first round of drinks About our first round of drinks And I was going I went up to the bar to get the second round and as I was walking up She walks up alongside of me and she says I have it and I go no I have it and she goes I have it And I go no I have it and we got in a little pissing match And she puts her hand on my arm and she says Jonathan I really appreciated that you treated for the last round. Would you allow me to show my appreciation by treating for this round? I was floored in that moment And because I wasn't a control freak because I wasn't in my masculine trying to be in charge I was able to step into receiving her love A relationship is a give and receive. It's a give and receive. It's not the masculine is giving and the feminine is receiving Because you got to lean back and receive No, a relationship is a give and receive a receiving give give and receive receiving give And it incorporates appreciation because that's a demonstration of being able to receive love When you can accept someone's appreciation and we're all thirsty for it And we're afraid to say it And this fourth this fourth and most important piece of relationship Before I share that I want to introduce you to another book. You have to check out. It's called How to Make Love All the Time. How to Make Love All the Time by Barbara DeAngelis. By the way, there's a link to all of this below There's a link to my group below. There's a link to my book below. There's a link to a Free discovery call with me below. Check it out in the in the comments section or in the details or the description section This is your chance to talk to me But I'm here to say how to make love all the time both men and women alike should be reading this book Because this fourth piece is so hugely important for men That we're thirsty for it and we're afraid to ask and I know you women are feeling it too. This isn't binary This is this is this is binary meaning it's two people. It's not one. It's not singular Because we want to feel accepted The one I feel accepted for who we are we want to be seen heard and understood and accepted for who we are and yet Here's the thing now look at I'm not here to suggest people Accept bad behavior toxic behavior. I'm all for boundaries in relationship But I want you to begin leaning into accepting someone for who they are and not trying to change them And if your relationship doesn't feel good and you feel like you have to change that person For them to for you to feel good in relationship. There's a good chance. It's not the right relationship for you I want to encourage you to do all things with love come from that loving place come from that salty By the way, if you like my shirt, please post a comment below if you like the spoon, please post a comment below I'd like to hear your thoughts if you're open to coming at this from a place of love Because look, I know I'm your big brother. There's lots of jerks out there Okay, and there are a lot of great guys and I want you to lean into these four things attention affection appreciation and acceptance Because with these four things These four things maybe I'll put this as my thumbnail right right there these four things You have a better chance of success when you're both Giving a shot of love to each other and these four things are a great way these four things Are a great way to show love all right I'd like to hear your thoughts. Please post a comment below if this resume with you If you'd like to work with me check out those links as always I'm going to wrap up this videos I always do first off giving myself a big gigantic Jonathan bear hug of self love I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love I'm going to ask you to turn to someone or a pet or wait a minute. Hold on Or even a teddy bear and give it a hug of love By the way, this was a gift also from the same client who sent me the spoon and inside here Is a heart a crystal heart that was blessed. I think by a shaman or something like that So if you don't have someone to hug hug a teddy bear, that's my invitation for you today All right, I want to say thank you so much and we're both going to wish you a wonderful day. Bye. Bye