 Oh, I was too loud. No, you're crazy loud. You're insane loud. No, wait, how about now? How about now? How about now? I can hear you. You can. I'm sorry. I feel like that's a good thing. Sorry. Hey, God, I moved. I moved my input gain on my focus, right? By one smidge put gain on. Yeah. Yeah, right. I just plug into my just plug in my soundboard, but it's a lot of work. So let you know, I'm going to let everybody else know. I'm going to let everybody actually look. I'm going to I'm going to ping everybody first before I or I say this because I don't want to anybody get confused. I'm sick. I can. Oh, I'm so excited. It's going to be fun. I'm I'm excited to hear what you say. I decided I'm using my soundboard. Are you all right? Because I forgot I can do something funny with it. Can you? Oh, I can live. You can make a soundboard. All right. It's not a soundboard. It's like an actual soundboard. But it's but it's but there's something funny I can do. Give me that right arm switch. You get your father's and take that. And it's very dumb. Uh, what was it? We decided on doing we decided I get the armor and. Yeah. You still get the bracers and then I get to change my class. No, I don't think we decided that. I'm pretty sure we decided the the opposite of that, though. What? Which is I was like, I just won't say anything. It's okay. I'm going to be silent for it. Wait, no, I'm not. OK, all right. Good. Very good. All right. We're all good here. Everything's fine. But yeah, so I've been battling a cold for like are you in by the way? Um, um, um, um, um, um, um, yes. OK, I've been battling a cold for like the past three days. Oh, my God, really? Yeah, I've been fighting a cold. I've been putting my dukes up. Are you going to live? No, but until it is my last day, but until until I die, I'm going to be headed. So I'm going to be relying on probably Dieter mostly to be most of the entertainment here. Oh, sweet. Yeah, because Emma's not here right now. And honestly, Jacob, you do you do a whole lot of hard work being entertaining for crowds all the time. And I don't have to do anything because I look nice. So so Dieter, it is time for you to pull your weight. You need to make the crowds laugh. You need to make them cry. You need to do a flip, maybe standing up. I can do this. Yeah, we can we can do that. That's pretty nice. Do that again. Wait, wait, wait, do that again. OK, OK, let me see that again. Yeah. Oh, there you go. We see. Nice job already starting. OK, that's pretty entertaining. Chat rate it one to 10. Do you want to take a short rest? I mean, yeah, we actually should because there's more goblins over there. Oh, my God, are there? All right, short rest time. More coming through here. There you go. Can you guys hear me? Yeah, I can hear. Yeah, we can hear you. Oh, good. I finally fixed it. Sorry, I heard you say that you're battling a cold and you you want me to be more entertaining or something. Well, that was the opposite of what I was saying, but that's fine. Oh, I see. I'm going to go through these heavy. Oh, you think I'm entertaining all the time? Yes, I could. I should take a little break, is that what you're saying? That is what I that's actually what I said. You know, no cap. That's what I said. There's so many times. What is happening? Well, that way I'm just crouched it over and over. Man, if only people knew what the grind was really like. So what I want to say to that, what I actually want to say to that, I know that you're ripping, but go back on the stream and you'll see that is exactly what I said. I know it is. I know it is. I heard you. Oh, good. And there's what I wanted to hear. There is a part of me that is just like, wow, nobody's ever really said that to me before. It's nice to be appreciated. But the other part of me wants to say, let's just forget I said that and let's let's pretend that you said all of that. And I said, oh, Davia, I don't have to try. This is the kind that I'm just naturally this this entertaining all the time. This is the narcissist's cake. Anyways, I'm going to I'm going to mix my audio real fast live for everybody to listen. So there's a lot of weight really down. There's my load going up. Oh, there's a mid going up and my mid going down. I'm going to talk to this guy. Yeah, go ahead. I don't think they're aggressive right now. They shouldn't be. They don't have a reason to. OK, I mean, we killed all of their guys outside. Oh, I think the party is still happening outside. Cool. Yeah. Oh, I could just hit I could hit them with the authority guys through all the other. I can be only in the left ear. Oh, wait. Nope, that didn't work. No, you're in both of my ears right now. Yeah, it didn't work. But do you know what I can do? Do you know what I can do? What's up? What's up with that? Hang on. I think it's something really funny to say. OK, I'm trying to try to think of something. OK, something really hilarious. Hey, Debbie, can you drop a quick save right now? What now? Yes, right now. Oh, my fucking God save. Don't worry. I'll tell him to drop a quick save. OK. Quick. Fuck. Hmm. Saving in the middle. Quick save a quick. Hey, if I fail to text thoughts, do they know that I tried? I don't know. No. OK, OK. I'm going to take your work for it. I rolled a natural 20. Yo. Oh, that was not worth it. I tried sneaking around to grab some stuff that I shouldn't grab and it was all torches. I'm going to sound like this the whole time. Can't be here to see the true souls. What the fuck is the truth? I'm here to see the true souls. Do you want to keep the way different to you guys? What do I sound no different? No, you do. No, no. You're sorry. You've always sounded like you. You've always sounded like you had a little bit of base in your mouth. It's OK. OK, well, her name is Priestess. Got all the way down. Oh, my favorite boss Ragslin. Boss Ragslin. Are you here to see? I'm going to go. I'm going to see Ragslin. It's so loud. I'm going to do it for my daughter. Ragslin. Oh, you cut out. It's like a ghost with bad Wi-Fi. OK, I'm done with that. That's stupid. All right, well, that was fun. I'm going to talk to this guy now. Where are you? I also have control of Grandma Yankee. Oh, shit. All right, well, I'll give you that. I think you might be able to do that, Jacob. If you go to multiplayer. Yeah, no, I go to multiplayer. I have to give you access to Grandma Yankee. Here I go. Bop and apply. All right, I did it. We went through the big doors. Davy, Davy, Davy. What's up? What's up? Do you want the armor? Ragslin? Not the Ragslin armor. Oak Father's Embrace, which is... Fun facts. Oh, we already traded. Never mind. We already traded as in... I already took it. Good, good, good, good, good, good. As in I have a costume hide armor, which is what you should have. Good. Yes. Wonderful. Great job. Yeah, very good. So, I use Detect Thoughts, but it looks like all of my spell slots are still my spell slots. I think Detect Thoughts is... I don't know if it's Ritual, or maybe you might have used just... Yeah, if it's Ritual, it doesn't waste a slot. In... Wait. Yep. In VG3, you can just cast Ritual spells? Yep. Yes, yes. I'm crying. I know. It's the greatest thing ever. I think it doesn't count if you're in combat, but if you're out of combat, I think it won't. That's fun. Use a spell slot, yeah. I don't know where you guys are. Where is that? Where is that? Okay, okay, okay. Right next to you. Did you see the big wooden doors right next to where you were? They were gigantic and impossible to miss. I'm on my way. Oh, those ones? No. Those ones were behind them. Oh, these ones. All right. Draw Ragslin. Where are you? I'm in slide now. Sweet. Draw Ragslin. Why is it echoes in here? I'm going to talk to this wall of grease. Oh. If you ain't got the guts to get branded, I'm going to do that when I cast my spells. I'm going to go... Draw Ragslin. I'll be Mark soon, don't worry. Delaylee. Ooh. All right. I think you need to make... I'll increase that reverb for it to do anything. If we decide to fight these guys, no one is allowed to kill Warlock Grease. Who's Warlock Grease? Okay. Let me get away from Warlock Grease. You're so loud. It's got smoke. Ooh, cool. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa. Guys, you're funky's on his way. What is happening over here? I'm going to talk to you. Are you talking to a goblin? You're doing a little chit chat. Oh, I see. Who's shmoozing? I'm turning on all of the fire so that nothing accidental happens. Oh boy. This person is crazy. I assume this mark has a purpose. She's entirely normal. You know what? I'm absolutely going for it. Let's do this shit. Get branded. Why not? I am getting branded. Yeah, you should. Worst comes to worst, I will cut that part of my skin off. Yeah, then the bread will for sure be down. Just cut it off. Let's go. I will. Let's go. Let's do it. You hold still. Brand me with the absolute. Not holding still. Oh, it's on your hand. I'm a tiefling. It's okay. Fire's fine. She had to hold it on for a few seconds longer. Yeah. It's not branding. Oh. A handsome young man. A handsome young man. That's cool. You're going for the absolute here? Absolutely. I'm going to push deeper into her mind. Oh, look at all my fans around here. Oh God. They're giving me rocks. They're giving you rocks. Yeah. Just a very high speeds. The throwing rocks at you? I was playing my flute. Talk privately. Sure. Yeah. Let's talk privately. I'm sure she'll get your tadpole out and everything will work out fine. I don't think she's going to do that, but I do think that we will bone. Oh, nice. Do you not have any trust in priestess gut? She very clearly knows what she's doing. I already have a brand. I'm happy. I want to see this go down. All right. Gorkfunky's down. Oh. Oh. Shush. Can I come in? Can I come in? Ah, yes. The one thing that I want out of this, it's just you. I can't believe that it's finally you and me and you and just us. And your friends. Gorkfunky and your friend, Tune Thic. Oh. All right. Okay. All right. Hang on. All right. I could kill this person. You're going to kill her? Why wouldn't I? Oh, I guess she is meeting the goblins. She burned my hand. She burned my hand. She made my hand go out. She gave you a wonderful brand. She gave you a wonderful brand. She gave you a wonderful brand. She gave you a wonderful brand. She gave you a wonderful brand. Okay. I'm fine. I'll say yes. I'm ready. Let's go. I don't know any clothing brands. She literally will not do it while everybody else is here. Oh, really? All right. We should leave. Yeah. I tried to clear my head. I tried to clear my head and she's all like everybody fuck off. All right. Okay. All right. Let's try it again. Yeah. I'm ready to clear my head. Let's do this. I need to do, we open yourself to the absolute and I'll do the rest. Let's do this. Open yourself. Alongy it's fine. I don't think she's going to help. Yes. She said she would help. I'm going to allow her to rummage through my memories? No. She's just going to rummage. Why would I attack her? Do you think that I'm just some vicious psychopath? No. She's just got here. I Like that, what do you think I am some vicious psychopath anyways rummage through my brain Pretty sure one of those parasites is squirming in your head, too She just told me that there's a parasite in my brain she's helping me I didn't even know that that's new information. This is new Lord. Oh, how did you not know that there was a parasite in your brain? Because it was in my brain and I can't roll my eyes back Jacob All right, have you seen Gore-Funky's eyes, they're just one big black orb. She says I've got everything I need to fix you This is goblin science, it's I'm gonna say I'm ready Lay down Correct correct It's wear jackal blood Yeah, I'm just gonna say that'll put me to sleep she'll probably just say no no no it's just a painful experience Hmm That's fair. She's trying. I just wanted to ask I'm gonna drink the potion. I've Strange people offering me vials of liquid straight I Will drink this potion. Oh, I like where this is going Tune thick is right there. You can see a circle. Nope. Oh, yeah, I can't see him Actually She's giving me I wonder if he's gonna drink the potion. Oh shit. He's dead. Oh my god. They killed him. Oh, no Looks like all I gotta do is pickpocket now. All right, good. This is good I have bad news I'm in prison Yep So worse news, I don't think we can open this. I don't think we're in a I don't think we have enough skill to open this I do let me get rid of this torch. Okay. Oh There's gotta be a key right maybe you can find a key I think it's on her. Oh, it's on her. Where is she? Yeah, I'll try to do it Hell, yeah The barbarian picklock lockpick. That's the word Oh my god, this whole she wasn't going to help me at all this whole time. She wasn't a mind goblin at all She wasn't a mind goblin. It's a mind goblin Nothing much mind goblin with you Can you see us in the cutscene? Do you even know who you are anymore? I have power or something's changing in me. Why is she telling me this? If we why is she if there's nothing I can do why is she just informing me this? Yeah You're in fact the same thing will happen to you Hmm Okay, she's out All right, I'm I'm gonna Dislocate my wrist that seems like the most Useful thing to do right now Yeah, I don't think we can even go. Oh, oh, oh, oh, I was one short Oh Our heist did not go as planned What have you done Maybe if you if you don't move, I might be able to get Something's happening over here Hello, I am Gorfunky. I am here to tell you all about a moment the spell Shalely She didn't even take my shit. That's insulting. Yo, there's a scroll of old person here. Yonk I'm putting my life on the line y'all We're getting ready. We're coming to help you here We're fighting both. I mean, I feel like you're already an initial. Oh, I'm in We're doing this. All right. I am the symbiotic entity. Okay. All right. And I guess I go now Do you count as person? Well, that's a big job. I didn't think so. Oh, yeah I can't do anything this round. I can detect its thoughts Yeah, to do I did you prep round as well? Um What should I go for here the magic user or the big the big girl Wait, that's gonna be really annoying She's gonna be branding our butt shakes or something. I don't know. Well, that's a miss. That's my turn. There she is. It's true Yep Can my fairy fire get both of them? Yes, it can. All right. Let's try that. That's beautiful Okay, well somehow the ogre Yeah, managed to avoid my fairy fire. I don't know what to say about that. That's just life, baby Nope sure is there you go. You got to end your turn. Uh, I'm wandering. Oh, okay Wandering And I'm a wanderer guys guys guys What's that? Oh Why Emma, why did you organize grandma Yankee like this? I hate this so much Um, this this is making me so so upset Uh, god, this is the worst thing. You're upset. I just got betrayed by my best friend gut gut Your best friend was gut. Yeah true soul guy high priestess of the absolute Oh, that had a night that had a 91 chance to hit by the way, which means that there was a 9 chance of failure Those are odds you should never have taken. Yeah. Why did you even bother at that point? Why is it 91%? Oh because of advantage. That is insane. That means like with advantage grandma Yankee rolled like a two. Yeah Geez. All right. Look you guys handle a lot with barbarian reckless. So All right, you guys handle the ogre I'm gonna go deal. I'm gonna go deal with my Lovers to enemies trope that's happening here Oh, that's only a 5% chance. Not enemies to the lover. No, we were lovers, but now we are nice. Okay, so I Do a little teleport. How do I teleport now? You have an ability all the way on the right of your right next to your intern. Oh, there we are. Okay. Yeah Yeah, so I knocked her away from grandma Yankee and now You can teleport to her Hey, okay, uh go fun Go funky you're gonna have to like try to see if you can go somewhere else So she doesn't target both of us at the same time piece of shit. Let me um Let me let's do that so we don't get hit by like a cleave or something Do a little flank You betrayed last right my love You were in love. Oh That's so sad. I was She wanted you to be her pet. Okay. Don't hit me Oh Oh my god, right on my dome. Guys. Can you please just deal with pulma That's what we're trying to do You're not doing a very good job with gut over there. What are you talking about? I just fucking dealt with the gut. Grammy Yankee is alive because of me That's true Grammy Yankee sucks. Yeah We might have to focus on getting her to just oh 1% chance Damn All right, I just see it. I just did Which flourish should I use 17 damage? Oh, I'm gonna use a defensive flourish because that shit was cray Oh I missed She cast shield. Uh, I thought she was a cleric. I'm confused Damn, she's kind of a cleric Oh, I can't I was trying to see if I could dip my Okay, well, I missed again. All right, that's my turn My turn's over Oh Dude go for me Okay, uh Um No, no focus on pulma focus on pulma. All right. All right gut is mine All right. He he's okay right now It only takes one bad turn, but Yeah, pulma's feeble That's great. That's great. Oh, she missed me. She missed me So let's hope that grandma Yankee didn't need that scroll. All right. Okay. All right. Let me try one more Wait If I don't hit with my defensive flourish, I don't lose my bardic inspiration. What I don't know. Uh, yeah, no It's like, uh, yeah, you don't you don't use it. It's like a Actually, hang on. That's very cool Because what you do in in the game what you do is you roll extra dice when you hit Um, and you do extra damage with your inspiration and then you get a bonus added to it I think in this game it gives you a flat amount to your ac in d&d It gives you the what you roll as your damage dice Which is nuts because like as a bard you can get your AC up to like 25 for like a turn That's amazing. I don't I don't know what my ac is right now But if you push tab, you can see it your ac is 20 right now. Oh shit. Ah Try to fight me you fool. Oh, you're on your last I'm gonna die. No, no, I should get her next round. I'm gonna die. I'm a broken. Oh, why how did you still hit me? Here really good bonus. Yeah, she does. All right. Go. Go for good. Go for good. You just blit Go lacerate. Oh my god. Shield it again I am symbiotic Nice I'm not gonna be able to get critical hit All right, I think I think dabby might get it next time Oh, no, I I critically hit her Yeah, I'm just mean like I think you'll be able to take her out next round Nice. All right Okay, all right, okay, wait, wait, let me soften her up. Let me soften her up. Yeah, you soften her up Yeah, she's ensnared now. This is for playing with my heart Nice What did she have on her the absolutes war board? It's a shield. There's something The absolutes talisman Uh Actually Literally all of this is useful. If you wear that dabby, um you because you have the brand You will um You'll get a little bonus. It looks like if you if you wear that you can cast aid and you can't you'll have advantage on death saves To get the brand Okay Uh, so my issue is that if I If I don't wear sorry if I would have to lose my amulet of the lost voices and I really like speak with dead You could just switch that on when you want to talk to a corpse That's true, but then if I take it off it'll lose the concentration, doesn't it? You don't cast it ritual. Oh, okay The word has the absolute brand that is true. You don't you don't have to do that I I could take it because then I I could cast aid and then I don't have to have my pendant Which is giving me guidance, which I already have Yeah, you should take it Okay, sounds good. Uh, and then the other one is a shield. Do any of us use a shield? Um, I think I can it gives heroism Oh, oh, well, uh, yeah, you should take it. I think oh, look at look at that. Look at that little shield If that's okay, that's no take that take that shit I can't be able to use a shield. Can she no she's a wizard. Yeah a wizard I mean I'm gonna do a song of rest even here because I'm barred. I'm gonna go Rest Oh guys, I'm missing one health point. Jeez, man That's rough. Yeah And I please click to it says click to confirm and I click to confirm Baby, we'll have it's a little touch of go you have to click yourself That's weird Nice Well Well, that was fun. All right, uh now that I've Now that I like past aid. Oh good. Oh, uh now that I have learned you only gave aid to grandma Yeah, that's weird. I found a scroll of aid. No, I think you I think only you only gave it to yourself Heal yourself and increase your oh, it's absolute talisman aid, which is just myself It's just a target to me. That's fine. That's fine. Oh, what's this? Oh Have he's finding something He finding things finding stuff So now that I've learned that uh trying to like work peacefully with people is Is a bull's errand it is a trap meant for stupid people You gave into the whims of a goblin it is meant for stupid a smart goblin first of all because she did trap me Yeah And so she died for it. Oh my god at the puzzle. I love puzzles. All right, let me get this puzzle This this seems obvious. I got the shit easy. All right, uh, there's got to be like writing somewhere I got it Yeah, yeah, this isn't even a puzzle anymore Oh, I have a journal that talked about how interlocking circles with moons and stars might mean something Oh, do I have to like do it in like order? A gore funky said uh interlocking circles with moons and stars This must be the seal mentioned in that journal and then grandma Yankee said I bet we can work out how to open it I think I have a journal. Let me look Okay, maybe I don't maybe somebody else has a journal. You feel me with lies once again Oh, I'm so sorry. Oh the necromancy of they obviously that's it There you go. You got it. I literally did it. You're so smart. Yep Oh, there's a lever here. What does this do? I think I found the bottom. I want everyone to what the fuck? my bad You have to redo the puzzle. Yeah I want everybody to know that I've never played this game before and I did not know that that was the answer to the puzzle I was just fucking around That is amazing. That's great. That took me way too long when I first did that like I knew what the puzzle was I just didn't know where like what the order was and where to put the the dots out of go Yeah, oh, are we going to the under dark? What the fuck are we doing? So it's the big ladder to the under dark. There's just a big ladder to the under dark The notorious big ladder to the under the classic big ladder people are saying As somebody who has played the absolute shit out of act one, um We don't I don't think it's a good idea to go to the under dark yet I know I did totally ham it up last time to be like But I was kind of being a goof. Um, I think we should wait because there's more to do on the surface And if anything, we will just circle around Um, there's kind of a decision you have to make when you're in the under dark and It's I don't think it should be we should do it without knowing what it is Um, that is unless you don't care. Hey the game is like and this is where you want to go Apparently we're talking to Raphael. So What the fuck is he doing here? Yeah, I don't know what he's doing here. He just apparently appeared What manner of place is this? What's up chunthik I I don't know apparently he thought chunthik was the more interesting person to talk to here. I think it's because you walked forward Raphael so much I love this man Am I allowed to fuck this man? Yes Sorry, you asked you asked. All right. I'm not trying to pull anything. Why are you saying? Why are you saying sorry? I I guess it's a spoiler. I asked I wanted to know I should say I should say without spoiling too much Technically. Yes. What that makes things so much more confusing for no reason. Nobody asked for technicalities Uh All right romance Raphael starting. Yeah, obviously why wouldn't it? We should have a chat you and I but not here This quaint little scene is decidedly too middle of nowhere For my we're literally in this temple to saloon in the under dark. What do you mean middle of nowhere? I'm sorry. You know nothing about Raphael. No, I know nothing about I don't know anything about this game You just gotta let him experience this. Yeah This is the cool is one of the coolest things in the entire game Is he about to mordenkanen's magnificent mansion us right now? Did he just fucking mordenkanen's magnificent mansion us? Whoa Uh, sure. I I want you to understand that I called him doing mordenkanen's magnificent mansion before he like Before the the whiteout ended so we either did that or he did like plane shift because I see like a lot of devilish decor We might be in hell It's one of those two plane shift or mansion Uh, here we go. Yeah, are we getting somewhere are you not entertained? Well barbie it from me to disappoint Hmm my classic tab. What the fuck racial structure. Yeah Oh, he's an he's an incubus. He's an inky. Okay. All right. So I can't fuck this man. All right A devil you buy trade. Oh, I love him Potentially an adversary conceivably But a savior That's for certain. I love him Draw your weapon Or I never that's what's good too. Yeah, or the or the bottom one. Maybe yeah Because my compassion is boundless I stride among the needy giving comfort where I can I love him and you're He's a good man He really is and no solution in sight. Okay. I could fix it or like Okay. Oh, let me walk around He has a painting of himself That looks more like a painting of his dad Okay, you're kind of selling yourself worse now He said hey, I can help you I said, okay, thank you and he said no you have to try other options first I want you to come to me when I'm your last option such a geez I literally said okay. What are you talking about? You are the worst at being a needy bitch I hate him now Uh, sure I've always wondered what a laughing mind flayer Sounds like this man is a bottom those pretty little symptoms Sundering skin dissolving guts. They haven't manifested yet have they One might say you're a paragon of luck I'll be there When it runs out When you're more needy than I am that's when I'll show up Oh, hey, tune thick. What's up? You're gonna save the world or whatever, but I am the devil from What's up, tune thick? You were just kind of standing there for like four minutes. What's going on? No, it's fine. I I met somebody it's it's all good Don't worry about it This is just a fun little bit. This was this was the the place we like Agreed on and they just weren't here. Oh This is just a fun little bit of trivia, but I um They made a magic theathering set from this from just balder's gate But also a bunch of cards and characters from the game Uh, like about a year and a half ago and and it's really cool. I love it a lot but uh Raphael the card they made out of him has been my main like deck and commander for like Ever since the set came out He's so cool. Uh, I remember when the first dnd set for magic came out I accidentally fell into one of the like Top five meta decks just because it was well, so I fell into it because it was just goblins Mmm, and I oh wow. Yeah, and all I wanted to do was play goblins So I just picked a bunch of goblin dudes and like it's It's a deck that requires like no thought because you just pick all of the goblins and then they do goblins Goblins are good. Hey, does somebody have a trap disarm kit? Yes. How do I get up there? Uh, I think you can you can just give it to me in my inventory to see if I can disarm Actually, you you will probably be better. I'm better at that. Thank you very much. I'm going to jump Yeah, it is too high Well looks like we're editing. I have an idea. I have an idea. Don't you worry check I've checked this out. All right Uh, I can't jump on the table Right. Oh, uh, no, I can't can I use this rope? No Uh And you get on the you can't get on the table. I might be able to You know, I might be able to so the fact that that is right there means that it's probably a trap door So let me go back up this way. See if I can't unlock this iron gate and then from the other end I can open it I might be able to just Oh, I can't attack the door. So I'm so I'm gonna lock pick this real quick Mm-hmm Get that 20. Oh god. That's a DC 20. Can I have some guidance over here? Maybe some aid. Yeah, hang on Let me let me I gotta get over there Uh Oh god, I can't jump. Um How did you get up there? What are you talking? I'm over here. Come over here. Yeah to the entrance Oh, that's I gore funk. He's blind. He was looking. He was rolling his head I feel like this area. Yeah, I was looking at the parasite. Oh, look at all that Oh All right, thank you for guidance I'm gonna try this once and if it doesn't work that I'm just not gonna try again because this This is not the place. I want to be if you succeed a check with trap disarm or thieves tools It you you you keep the the thieves tools But if you fail then it you lose the yeah, it breaks Wow, well, we did our best. Uh our best kind of sucks though. So Oops All right, I mean I could also just you know what here's what I'm gonna do I'm gonna grab this chest put it in my pocket There. Oh my god, you just put that whole bitch in your pocket. I'm gonna put it in my pocket and then I'm gonna take it Yeah, throw it on the ground Come jump down come down here Here you go. Throw it. Don't throw it. You're gonna break the shit. Throw it All right I'll hurt myself a bit and then here present the chest to you. There you go. Open that open it up chest Oh, you gotta disarm it first. You gotta disarm it first. I am trapped disarming it Oh, it's it's trapped That's the whole thing I was trying to do I rolled an 18. I didn't even need anything and I'm just good at this game Nice nice. I'm just naturally good. There we go. Trap disarmed Can't open a door. Oh my god now Yes Uh, okay. Well, let's try this again. Go. I mean I can't break it, but Oh, hey, did it? Yeah, nice easy. Um, I don't know why we ever doubted me guys poggers Okay, this is epic. Uh, this is luminous Whoa, that is awesome. I'm gonna take this. This is mine now When the where I'm lying radiant damage. I don't do radiant damage at all actually You'd make a radiant orb and radiant orb means that affected entity as minus one to attack rolls. So basically, uh When you deal radiant damage everybody within 10 feet of you has minus one to attack rolls and uh, no It's a different outcome this time. This is uh, I'll take your when he deals radiant damage There's a radiant shock wave that comes from it So the radiant shock wave makes radiant orb. Oh, okay. Do any of us deal radiant damage? No, I do you do take it then if you want because Uh, it's what the ac is one more than what I've got but like it it's special effect is amazing Damn, all right. Let me move this chest out of the way. So we can actually walk there again. All right, uh Um, whoa, dabby you look you look so cool Oh I feel amazing that armor All right, let's do this shit. Let's get out of here All right, let's go. I grabbed the potion of vaulting so my jump can be better No, it's not called the potion of vaulting. I read it. In fact, it is the potion of glorious vaulting Glorious vaulting, of course You drink it and then as you sail across the skies, you're just like Yeah So it's like well that barge really attitude and it's like no dummy. It's the doppler effect. We pray Doppler effect. I hate that band All right, okay, let's go kill the rest of the goblins that we're out All right. Yeah, actually we might want it Well, uh, I'll save but when we get to the door because yeah, it's good to save Yeah, I was gonna suggest a rest, but I think we're okay. Gore funky might need a little do we need a rest? But we didn't do anything new has no spell slots. She might have I have a very you want you want a long rest now So, um, I did a little bit of digging I did some research Watch some youtube videos figuring out some things that I know and do not know. All right First of all, okay long resting right does absolutely nothing. The only thing that it changes is Uh, two things one it will take our food to Uh, if a character is left unconscious if you long rest and come back They won't be here anymore. They'll go to wherever they're either supposed to go Or they just they delete if they're not supposed to exist anymore So, um, those are the only two things it does. So long resting There's kind of no penalty except for eating food in that case. Uh, I'm just gonna long rest then Cool. It's very cool. Cool. Yes. Somebody on youtube, um, did like a like Yeah, they did like 200 long rests and nothing progresses and I was like cool. I was just wrong. That's good to know I'm glad I'm it's good to feel What I don't even know what you're talking about. Oh, no, I see it now. Good Uh I don't think I've seen this cutscene. What is this? See, that's what I like about this game is like I haven't played the game But I've heard everybody talk about playing it and most people have not talked about the same thing twice That's the thing is I'm already doing a second playthrough and it's it's already so different. There's new stuff This game is just so immense. I will wipe the sweat from my brow Your hands shake as they reach upward What are you doing? You're wiping. Oh, shit It Next time I get involved that's what I'm saying guys, my cell's gonna pierce my belly No, she's asking if someone already did she's jealous. Oh, no, nobody's gotten that deep yet I will be quick with my blade first you Then the others She's gonna kill everyone You sense a touch she's like if we are turning into octopus people. No, no Oh Surrender the lies out surrender Surrender, of course attack lies Oh, yeah, broken to her mind see what she wants to see I feel sated I didn't notice until now that your eyes are just purely black and you've got a bunch of black gunk all over them Yeah, somebody threw mud into your eyes and you said, okay Wait I thought that the I thought the red dragon that was attacking us in the illicit like place was hers No, oh, I don't think it was. Oh god. Now. She she doesn't ride a red dragon. Those those are those are for the very super awesome The ones that do the thing. Yeah, I'd be strong lies out You will survive this You will please your queen draw ragslin Draw ragslin. We pray I'll praise draw ragslin I still haven't met him and I cannot wait I will wait Yeah, oh, yes. Cool. Bolo. No, draw ragslin. I've seen Bolo Uh, I I didn't want to say it until just now, but if you look really closely since she didn't really have a shirt on Uh, her like skinniness and her veins popping reminded me a lot of grandma yankee I wonder why I have grandma yankees. I currently am getting grandma yankees. Uh, oh, oh, you're gonna have to watch both of them Oh my god, can I get this white screen off of me? This is too bright Wait, what the hell what's going on? What is this? You're getting visited Visited Who the fuck are you? I forgot you made him just yourself again Who the fuck is this? I've never met this person in my life Do What what's going on? I know your voice. I've heard it before I love him I don't know why there's something about it. Okay grandma yankees person a guardian is just this like fucking This like pretty little halfling boy like he's just kind of wait. Are we all watching our Yeah, our own. Yeah, everybody's is different. Yeah, that's good And I'm getting grandma yankees for some reason and you're gonna get yours at right after oh cool. Great. Love it Oh my god Oh What Like your model was on my screen as like a ghost for a second. That's good I'll protect you. He says I have to show you guys what just happened Oh tiefling debbie self-sets shit. Let's go So my headcanon for this is that this guy is me just time displaced because he's been spending time in the Feywild That makes sense But like because my character understands how the Feywild works and this like Any amount of time could change you as a person. He just Recognizes this guy as a completely separate person Yeah, because you know experiences can change us all man Well What the fuck? Yeah, check it out Guys look at the chat. That's what happened when I when it switched from grandma yankees to mine Five Oh my god So funny Wake now you'll feel better. I promise wakes up drained of all blood Oh my blood I feel worse. Oh great Good Love that Did you guys have some weird dreams last night? Uh, no, I had perfectly normal dreams about trying to fuck myself Oh, I see I see I see that makes sense. Actually that checks out One to one. Yep. Yep. Yep Uh, I'm gonna try talking to a sterian because I do not have the bloodless like trait right now And I wonder what the fuck you wanted. He didn't fuck you. Yeah, he didn't and I'm gonna ask why I had the strength there was a visitor promising talking to the dog and all sorts of Powers from the parasites in our head given up shared affliction. I suppose you had a similar dream Stay silent. I'll just say I did we can see what these tabs can do for us Yeah, let's let's let's uh, let's do stuff Yo, that's giving me to eat my shoes I was just Tune thick I must say your boots are looking delicious All right, let's get the fuck out of this camp I have a date with drawer rags Lynn and also I want to kill everybody that my ex ever met All right, so I just had to convince him to not eat my shoes Good Give him your shoes Oh All right, I'm leaving camp. Yep leave camp I am as well. Uh, every person that uh guts new and loved is going to die All for the crime of knowing her And not and not doing anything about her. I don't know where he is. Where'd he go? I think we're through the door. I went through the door. Okay. All right, so we've been here Uh, that is the door to there. All right. This is how I got there. There's like a there's a room Yeah, this is the room that that we were pulled into The rest of the goblins are over there with this uh, if it's a little hole Oh, what's going on? Oh, what is that? What's that little hole? It's a hole that I that somebody can go through but we're all too big. I'm gonna open the store Hello, hey guys. I found a zent room lady. Um, who's selling some pretty hot merch Oh, yeah, we might want to like trade before we start talking. I'm talking plus one of all armor I'm talking plus one of almost all weapons. Oh shit. Okay. I'm talking a high high brow shit All right, I'm gonna sell a bunch of things and get some gold and dav you should buy some stuff Uh, why me? Uh, I don't know because you should interact with the merchant. That's fair Uh, I want to stop listening to this conversation. Get me out Help I'm just stuck looking at you superman posing with grammy hanky I'm going to sell the watchers guide Which is the um when the spear misses its target the wielders next attack roll gains true strike I don't think anybody wants to use a spear You can throw it out of their inventory I'm stuck in this selling the guy. I'm selling the guidance pendant Okay, I'm selling the scroll speak with dead and I'm selling the Watchers guide and I'm also the oak father's embrace. Does anybody want this? This is the armor that if an undead creature hits you they take radiant damage Why would you sell that I thought that that was good for you Oh, because I now have the luminous armor, which is gives me like a 15 ac Oh, there's nothing in there. We just got you the luminous armor that we got out of the chest that you had to disarm twice No, I'm talking about Yeah, if you can get a plus one short sword and a plus one scimitar like I those are all great. I love those You take a look. You take a look. Yeah. I was just telling the things I don't need and I'm gonna give you all my gold Okay, give me all your gold and I'm talking all your gold, you know, should I give you grandma Yankees? Yeah, exactly. Correct. Correct. Yes. All right. It's your gold. It's your gold now Here I'm going around I'm like jumping roofs and stuff to try to get All of the hidden stuff that we have around this camp before we Clear it out Chun, take out some funds too if we really if we really need some For sale weapons and other as a barbarian. I don't really think I need any armor So if you can find something you need go ahead and take some gold No judgment. No right and wrong just good deals and bad That problem for you I want to build up some good will so that when I get something good. I can be like me Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right. Uh, I'm gonna try to sell her all of my trash. Do you want this bone? All of your Barkas is I have so many books Oh, sell them. Yeah, just Chuck them at them. Oh, Dave if you want to also you can just double click and then it'll go straight to it Oh my god, I have too many books. I've been uh hoarding every book that I found Yeah, you don't really need the books unfortunately, I'm gonna get rid of this flute these flutes these leather boots an emerald ring Sell that armor. Oh my god. I have a plus two studded shield Get rid of it. I have scale mail I have a lot of leather armor I have a rape here. I'm keeping that just in case hand crossbow. I'm keeping that good news Keep the daggers maybe because you can throw them but get rid of everything else. I don't need I don't need another so much more Yeah, you the amount of weapons you will find is nuts If anything you get to a point in this game where you're like, I really don't need another plus one weapon I need plus two. Yeah Uh, all right, so that and Uh Now let's see what weapons you've got for me. Do you have that's a dagger? You should sell those gems that you've got you've got like an onyx and those two like gems. I've got an agate I've got two malachite Agate I got a spiked bulb Keep that. Oh, maybe keep that actually. No, I'm gonna sell the skull and the stuffed bear Um, yeah And the shoes and the shoes stuffed bear you get rid of all these bottles that I don't need This plate What do I have this? Ah the plate the dwarves poem. Oh my god 42 gold for a dwarves poem Yeah, because it leads it has a clue about which way to go forward, but we already read it. So okay Uh, all right, let's see. Do you have a short sword? No, it's great club order staff longbow. Dude, this sucks Uh, I guess longbow is better than the longbow is not bad. Yeah, it's better than my crossbow. That hunter's dagger is great Hunter's dagger Yeah, that hunter's dagger is amazing or become ruptured. Okay Yeah, okay. Let me look at that Uh, what is that? Is that a halberd? Whatever you This is the watchers guy. I don't see what this is damage when they walk So if you if they get ruptured if they move they'll take damage Whatever halberd But watchers guys the thing I just sold do not buy that Uh, this bow of awareness is Pretty neat. Oh, the bow of awareness is cool too. Yeah, plus for the initiative rolls. That's nice It's more base damage, but less max damage. So I'm like I mean, I mean that's good Yeah, or I could just get this longbow plus one Oh, that's yeah, that's true. Which is inherently better. So I'm gonna get that Yeah, uh, I'm very disappointed. There's no short sword. That is like a thing that I can get here Yeah, but whatever. Uh, let me look at the armor padded armor. Don't need that Hide armor. I have better than that The oak father's embrace That I just sold that. Do not Uh, I could get this scale mail Uh, are you proficient at it? Yeah. Oh, yeah, it's 15 and it has superior material gives you You take one less slashing damage with your dis on stealth checks Uh Although the other one gives me a plus one to saving the deck saves and checks And it gives me a plus one to initiative rolls. I like that more. It's pretty good. It's pretty good Uh This ring mail armor That's heavy armor. So I can't even wear that Uh, anything. What is a silver pendant? No one needs that. What are those? What's that like great axe up there? Uh, that is the bloody the blooded great axe. It's two to 16 might be good for uh, tune thick Mine Mine does six to 17 never mind Yeah Uh Six to 17. Yeah, it was off the goblin. Uh leader that we got at at the windmill So if so if I click balance offer getting plus five to it Plus five with the great axe would be six to six to 17 as well. All right. I did a d12 Uh, heavy if you're still selling I just picked up some stuff you can sell here. No, I literally just stopped. Sorry Oh, okay. I mean you can do it. I don't think there's an it'll have a problem. Yeah I'm just far like I was I was taking all of their stuff. Well, well, maybe uh, don't be so far away then nerd. I'm coming I'm not the one who's so far away I have so much to say but you're so far away Uh, how do I know which one is in my like main hand which one's in my Offhand left is main hand right is offhand Oh So i'm left-handed I guess yeah, I guess so. Okay. No now it's in your right hand It's in your character's right hand. Yeah Oh what the fuck okay There we go. Yeah the first box is main hand That's whatever Oh, I recognize the pressure bears. It's gonna be longbow. That's not longbow longbow There we go I'm sorry. Oh my god. I'm not proficient with longbows. I'm only proficient with other things. No Fucking cries Well, whatever life goes on I wasn't even thinking about that. I just remember that I use a a bow all the time I'm not proficient with either chin that could use it. Oh, sure Go ahead and take it. I'm sweet I'm selling stuff right now Go ahead. I'm gonna go talk to these goblins and hope that I don't get any trouble Yeah, no, they don't know you killed everybody. Why is there blood on the floor? Um, don't worry about it. Oh, they got a boo-yog here. What's up boo-yog? Boo-yog Oh That bloodied great. She said hey you bluisen if you need to clear ahead the priestess can help That might be oh, it's a thousand. Yeah, I can't afford that Okay tracker that goblin looks afraid. Yeah, she's uh, she's busy. I guess What are these guys doing here? Let's down here That's the spider pits, you know the notorious spider pits. Mm-hmm. Do you like to see a really fun demonstration? I'm here. What's that? The goblins are telling me about the spider pit. I want to know more about the spider pit. I see I see I see Oh god Okay, so, uh, where are you? I'll watch your thing. Now. Where are you? Hello, what's up? What's up here? I'll go upstairs and go up the stairs Look at that guy over there Oh, he's gone. Nevermind What just kidding just kidding. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what I was trying to do. I see spiders down there Yep. Yep, and they're eating a guy smithing down there. Who the fuck is smithing? It's I don't know. I hovered over the dead guy. They're eating and it says smithing He'd be right here. Jacob. Did you kill somebody? I didn't get no no. I know I didn't I didn't kill you buddy Oh, what are you talking about? I do a damn thing. Okay. I still need to find drawer ragslyn That's my goal right now. Do you want to find drawer ragslyn because drawer ragslyn is right through these doors Okay, it's time for me to encounter drawer ragslyn Uh, apparently these doors are locked, but those doors over there are not these doors over here or not Yeah, but that feels like it'll break No, no, no, that's fine. Okay I'll be my guest here. I go What's up guys? Are you drawer ragslyn? Oh my god, it's drawer ragslyn He's a hobgoblin, dude. He's a hobgoblin a hobgoblin He's casting speak with dead. He's like me He can do the things again. Oh my god. He's just like that's not a mindflare Let's just fall on our knees and pray to him I'll do whatever you say What if nobody else actually has the tadpole and like this moment is just me Fucking like like an empath deciding for them what their emotions are You're just such an empath. You can taste the bile in his soul Me and empath sensing that that is drawer ragslyn we pray Me and empath sensing his words rattle my skull Me and empath sensing he is speaking to me I'm gonna try to talk to this guy. I'm gonna try to raise the dead. Let's see Check this out scroll and sense. Look. It's literally me and my twin No, that's that that'll never work. What do you mean? Okay Oh, damn, I'm not showing up on the cut scene Art I don't mean to alarm you but we have the artifact that he's talking about So There may or may not be boogeymen or oh if we have the artifact we can give it to him You want to give it to him? All right, why why wouldn't we he wants it? We don't know anything about his intentions. We can just give it to him We have no reason to assume that he's evil But the artifact doesn't want to do that. I want to cut back to the moment you said I want to kill gut and all the people that know her Uh Fine, I know this magic can't be the scroll and I can do the talking Yeah, great idea Wait, uh, was this the mindflayer that tortured me? I want to know that first I don't know if we Can figure that out right over here. No, no, it's it. I have the option. No, I have the option. It's telling me It's a dialogue option. Got it Well, which means I would not be uh A person that it wants to you know what, you know, let's see what happens Then take it Absolute knows I'm not getting anywhere You read aloud the words on the scroll Hello, hello I don't know why you say goodbye. I say hello We pray All right Ew, he's writhing he's rithlin Uh attack the hobgoblin Just be like Yeah, uh, who killed you? Yeah Reacher responds not in words, but memories You see a clawed hand open a holding pod devoid of flesh Only darkness I saw it too and it tells me nothing Okay, all right Uh What was your killer after no, what were you doing in fair room? There you go Dragon riders Yes, they do My final question I get three more He's already asked three obviously attack the hobgoblin. What a great question Who is the absolute if I ask that then he'll attack me because Obviously, I would I I'm supposed to know who the absolute is Uh You know what? Yeah, why were the guests to chase in the ship? That's a good. I don't know that answer actually Like I can assume that they just are dicks, but Maybe there's more You're right. We're not done. We have two more questions Oh is she Is she now Consider it done Praise the absolute you're in draw ragslin. We pray Do they go draw ragslin? Gore funky is standing next to him like your second in command Where'd he go I'm gonna talk to him I'm gonna give him the weapon he's it wait so real talk Uh the weapon that he's after Like if I give it to him Does that ruin a lot of the story? Okay, uh, I'm gonna just give you some context. Okay the artifact so okay, so we have tadpoles in our heads I'm gonna save we were we're running around and then when we went across the bridge We like heard the voice of what would be the absolute who is like Neil and listen to my every word and do what I say and then we saw like the visage of those three people and then I don't know shadow heart somebody no the the the the artifact showed up and went in went to me I think I have it currently and it like stopped it. Okay, so the artifact is helping us somehow There is an effect that you get when you first get the artifact that we all had which was that it was silencing the voice of the absolute from us So, um, it is the macguffin uh full full disclosure. It is the story macguffin You could go give it to him if you want. I don't think it's going to work I think the macguffin the dm is gonna go. Nope. It stays with you and he's gonna be mad and he's gonna attack us So, um, how dare you? Yeah, yeah, yeah the artifact has like a mind of its own and it's going to stay with us Got it. That makes sense. I'm gonna talk to him anyway and see if I can't get him angry Yeah, hang on. Hang on. Hang on. If you're if you're going for angry. No, I'm in need of a healer Okay Wow You look he said you look spiffy because you're a hat. Yeah Some gaps in my group Oh, never mind Got it. I'll go talk to priestess gut So help me Wait this artifact You mean this one look at look at what i'm doing. Oh, you're just kind of posing and now you're my This artifact No, I don't think they mean this one Okay, all right. Okay. I just saved let's try to give it to him. Let's see what happens I'll talk to him. Yeah, talk to him and try to give it to him He doesn't fucking want it. What do you mean? He doesn't want it. It's his item. He won't let me Bro, I have it. This is stupid Oh my god, I hate it when the dm real roads us like this There's only one way to go. We can't give the the mcguff into the bad guy Yeah, I want to stop this. I want to start a new story. Let's all just go get farms I'm gonna talk to narvas over here. What's up narvas I doubt true. So I mean this is the equivalent to like fellowship of the ring and the white the the The orcs come after us with the white hand, right and froto basically goes. Oh here Uh, do we go up this ladder to go talk to the drow? I forgot where he said to go Okay, let's get going I will lead you to a drow mommy. I mean drow mommy. I mean drow mommy. I mean I mean menthara What is that? What the fuck was that? It's a scrying eye. I'm gonna talk to it. I'm gonna talk to it Oh, it's right, it's trying to detect thoughts. Fuck you. I'm gonna poke it That's disappointing Okay, I'm taking a load off also our journal our journal by the way Does say that one of our quest is to rescue the druid halson who is here who could potentially help heal us Um, and we have not found him yet. I don't know if that was a plan of yours But that is something that we can do still Okay, let's try to rescue this druid. Yeah, we need to make sure that the grove is safe Okay, so we can we can go talk to menthara if you really want to Making sure the grove is safe is going to involve killing ragslin and menthara. That's uh Let's let's talk to menthara first. Let's see what she's got to say about that Sounds good. Sounds good. Sounds good. I want to hear her perspective before anything else a point of view. Yeah All right knight worn menthara. There she is. I want her to convince me I want I want her to mount my druid grove. I mean I want to hear her perspective That's what that means You every hour that passes. Oh my god. I love her I know you stop my limbs or I will silence you forever He's beautiful What is happening with my hair right now? Yeah, it's just going through your eyebrows Praise me I'm on a hunt too. You're my prey. I do look amazing. You're right. I didn't realize it until just now You do you look sick I needed the help angle to let me know Their existence is an insult to the absolute's claim on this region There is a weapon the absolute seeks. I'm sure those riches have it hidden away there We will find it amongst the dead and the ashes. Yes, good I love that just casting detect thoughts lets me just know things like this. It's so cool We will continue to remove parts of him until he tells us exact continue. Oh, oh boy She is seeking the growth you visited already feel her mind closing around yours. Uh-oh Oh, no Uh a tiefling should be warned together. You can outnumber her warband Yeah, so the game is basically trying to figure out like what is your intention here? What do you want to do? Okay And I'm down for whatever whatever you want to do the tiefling should be warned I can be very persuasive. I'll visit the prison prisoner. There you go. Yeah, there we go. Oh excellent I feel smart Good job. That was smart. No one has ever died on my watch. Don't you worry My hands are pure. Do you want to go find that prisoner? Let's go. Oh, what's what's What's going on there? He's this way. I think right now the prisoner. Oh, oh that prisoner. Yeah. Yeah, let's go. You know, there's two prisoners I thought it was the guy they were torturing Hmm. Well, I know that the prisons are this way. Oh, I see. No, I see here We should do the other one first. We should do the other one first. Oh, I wish well, I'm already talking to this person But you should can you talk to that person? Oh, you talked to sharp eye meme. Okay So we should not open this door. This way this way. No, yeah. Yeah. Let's go. Okay. All right. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I want to talk to this rat He smells like blood. Oh, I smell like beef. Well, volo is also in there. What the fuck? Okay, well, you guys fuck around with volo. I'm gonna be right back. Yeah, I'm gonna go save volo Pitch I was admiring him. I'd like one of my own Authority I can authorate her intimidation. I'm done talking open the cage. You'll be sorry. Oh, he looks weak sick even he won't last long in there I Like that. How much you want for him? Oh my god. I really want to volo Thanks I talked to volo Why does he why does he act like he doesn't know I was here? Yeah, the last time I saw him it was the room over It was just outside and he's like you're the guy that made me get in here You insist as much as it pains me to cede creative control Once I've written you into one of my books, there won't be a tavern in ferru You can enter without receiving a hero's welcome. I can't But I hate for our friendship to end here Please won't you meet me once we've both slipped the goblin yoke Is that a euphemism ever talk about that goblin yoke again go to my camp Smashing soon my friend soon we can share the flag of something I love volo Hey, I had a similar thought There he goes I want to I want to cut his head open and see what makes him tick Yes, I want to I would like to dissect him And pull apart bits of him until I find out where he gets the nerve As you cut him open it's just your rugs like that All right, what's going on over here? Yeah, check that out the conversation happening. Oh god, this guy's being tortured I'll put him on the stretcher. That's good for his back. What the fuck are you on about? Symbol glows power courses through you Authority Oh my god, that was such a cool shot. Anyway, uh, go have yourselves a drink your boss sent me to relieve you That's not even a decision. Yeah Your boss did oh, oh, uh add bonus Yeah, get that. I don't know if a gore funky is way too far to give you guidance, but You know what? I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it without gore funky. Oh Nice, uh-oh, uh-oh Bop, uh-oh for this goblin. Yeah Yeah What's up, Liam I'm back Ew Who the fuck is this Liam person He's he's having a rough time is what's happening looking for a druid Name of halzen I came for the night song. Where is it? I already have the night song. Don't I? No, you don't oh, damn it Relax, I'm not going to leave you here Thank you so much. I could just kill him You could just kill him it would it would certainly Deal with the problem of him potentially getting tortured again because he's shown that he it's easy for him to get captured Just gets captured again There is a risk you will get tortured the future so let me just take care of that right now See the issue is that in order to be an agent of chaos I have to Be proactive and allow proactive things to happen. I can't just like I can't kill him So that things don't happen things not happening is the antithesis of who I am as a character There you go. That's true. I can I can only Stop things from happening If I know they are going to cause bigger things to happen Yeah, yeah, like like not just more but bigger and greater things tell me about more about the night song Everyone go sit down on the bench here. Yeah He just said some wizard called la roca and would reward us if we found it Okay, that's all attack What did the goblins want with you? to the east They wanted to know where we came from his his enormous packs are clipping into his enormous bicep Please I need to warn them leave Oh, it's just like me for real Have fun Liam There he goes. How does he know where to go? Bui is a secret exit Yeah, right next to the prison cage Man, I hope the guy that I uh charmed doesn't come back here angry He's like, oh, I don't think so. It'll be fine So far now we can go we can go find the other way. We can also talk to this Yeah, who's abdurak let me talk to that guy. Oh, yeah, you should talk to that guy. It might be well That's probably you should 100 talk to abdurak who the fuck is this? I love this guy Greetings child, I hate him Why uh, because he called me child Oh, well With the prisoner, I mean the one uh What do you mean? I've never seen a prisoner before Oh, I would love to yes show me more Show me some of these pain methods What I've decided with this character is that like he has to accept and say yes to everything because his whole goal Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah is to experience the world Mm-hmm And without purpose is a terrible thing wouldn't you agree who invited you a goblin? Who invited you a goblin It's a goblin went to like a church and was like a priest of pain And this guy was like all right, I'll guess I'll come he just knocks on the door. Excuse me, sir Are you a priest of pain father? He has to go like father abdurak I love him clever clever man I want to kiss him We've all suffered in these Dark it is I love his mantle You I know it's great. I especially love the bravery it took to wear only the mantle Right, right. He's like I I'll go to the goblin camp, but only if I can wear my slutty The goblins are going to love this especially the one that invited me He It's part of a whole ensemble. He just he just put on the mantle and he was like that was a lot of work I'm just going to go like this And he's obviously very like upset about that goblin. So he's just like he didn't appreciate might know fit choice That must cause him pain God It will be what I accept Yes Love If he loves pain then he is going to love what happens in bed Well, we are going to be No, we're going to be passionate and I'm going to whisper into his ear You are You are good enough Oh, you are you don't use any lube you are important and you have value in this world I'm going to talk to the rats Yes, let's begin Tell me more You face the wall. Davy. Yes Show me I will not fight it You're just like You know, I want to yelp loudly and dramatically beg for mercy And beg for mercy. That's really good too. That's so good here. You can have uh, oh, I don't need anything You charm him to make it sound like it's better than it is 20 Damn Is this third base Yes, yes, is he hitting me above or below the belt? um Dude, that's up to you Based on how much you think six points of damage is like where that's located. Oh my god I'm gonna say come on a child can hit harder than that Oh my god, nice Uh Oh, I could ride in it Yeah That's pretty funny too. Yep. This is amazing easy easy. Nope. Okay, you're good. You're good. No, no, we're fine. No issues This is this is why I bought this game This is the greatest game ever. I like I like the image of just you slowly losing guidance You look tired should I take over Ha ha ha Give me that guidance. Oh my god. Oh, damn Jesus, this is your natural element. Hmm. Wonderful. This guy loves this. I love how much you're both into it Yeah, it's it's really great too. Damage too damage I want to look for one of that Thank you leviatar Are you going to kiss please kiss me Oh, what is happening He's giving him his blessing. Yeah or her blessing. Oh, that's cool All right, cool. We're doing that. Let's go. What is the blessing? What does it do? Scroll over to pain. Oh, oh pain is the path to clarity when you have 30 hit points or less You can plus two to attack rolls and wisdom saves for three turns That's very good. Do I just have that forever? Is it a It might be a long rest. Yeah I'm gonna talk to him again and see what happens Do it I hate that he calls me child. That's the only thing Do not be greedy. Do not to be greedy the finger wag Do not be greedy. Uh, I gotta I gotta go give my wife something really quick. So I'll be back in like five minutes Jacob's like, I've just got inspiration Guys guys, um, I gotta go really fast. I just uh, I just saw something really cool in the game and um I just really I just uh, I'll be back. I'll be right back Okay, so I'm gonna talk to the gith yanky warrior on the Left side of I'm gonna talk to the gith yanky warrior on the left side of this map But then after that I want to talk to minthara and raid the emerald grove There's a gith yanky warrior here. Uh potentially There there have been whispers of such a thing uh Because I know we still have to go, uh talk to house and I don't know where halzen is He says I think I think he's behind that door that I showed you before. Okay. Let's go look. Let's go talk to halzen then All right Lead the way. I know he's a bear. That's it. Yeah, you can you you can jump over here All right, uh, then just go this way That was a beautiful scene I'm glad you got to experience it. I was like, I'm sure this I'm sure dabby will enjoy this All right through here. Oh wait, I want to talk to sharp eye beef Oh Oh, I think he's just not gonna Oh, yeah, he just doesn't have much to say and it's disappointing I'm gonna go through the store then. All right. I think he's somewhere around here Uh If I see a bear, I'll know it's him Yeah, I think he's over here What are you trying? What are you doing? Uh, I'm trying to tab to look around but I every time I click tab it What's mean combat mode on accident because Oh, I'm I'm in divinity thoughts All right, have you pressed the uh the tailed key? It'll highlight everybody. Oh, shit. Let me let me chuck some potions real quick Oh, yeah Do I have a good potion a potion of cool healing? He had this one There we go Uh one more Perfect Three oh, are those goblin kids? Yeah, I think they're children. Oh my god. I've never gotten to kill goblin children before I'm so looking forward to this Sharper stones might cut through all that fur What just happened We're at the house in cages Oh, oh, oh god. I gotta fucking catch up with you guys. Yeah Throw a rock at the bear Uh-oh, well, maybe I can talk to the bear Oh Uh, guys, why'd the bear break out? Uh, is that in fact a normal bear because I feel like that's housing. Hmm Uh-oh. Oh, they're surprised sweet. All right, Jacob. What did you do? You gotta have a context you need let's go The child is dead The children are killed What just happened? Can I try to talk to him at all? Is it possible? I think once you're in combat, you can't but you can knock him out. Although. I don't know what that'll do um So this this might be something you might want to fuck with if uh I so in that dialogue option you kind of get that it's kind of like giving you the choice of like Who do you want to side with in this fight that's about to happen? Oh, that's funny Yeah, and uh, you chosen the goblins. Okay, so so all right. I have a plan. We will kill this bear And then we will lead the attack on the grove and turn on the drow ourselves without housing's involvement Great at the cost of a bunch of lives. I think that's a great idea whose lives That ours groves Oh, wait, you say we turn on her then? Yes All right, sounds good. I did what a great plan. Okay. Yeah, why would You say that? I should have questioned you I didn't know I didn't understand I kill the bear that's that's all I know how to do You use non lethal and then we heal them afterwards. That's the idea. Oh non lethal. Okay, you turn on non lethal Yeah passives non lethal. There you go. Okay. Good. I don't know how non lethal works and I refuse to learn So here we go. Um melee attacks are the only things that can be non lethal got it. Well, I I'm gonna murder him But also I won't get the last hit. So just do that Okay, uh Go bear Wow, that's pretty good ruptured. Damn. Yeah, I forgot to I forgot to raise my defense. So this is going to be a bad turn for me You're like, okay guys, here's the plan and then the bear Run child Get that child. It's gonna it's gonna alert everyone grandma Yankee kill that baby Bring it down. Oh my god Oh you healed Yeah I love that every every goblins saw you do that and they're like anyway I don't kill each other all the time. This is not a problem. Just kill the kids. All right. All right Yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna go behind the bear Slap its ass and then I'm gonna rage like a bear. Look too much has happened for us to save Let me look at how Yeah, I think I think the last quick save was when you entered the room So I don't think we're too lost, but if you want to go we can go We're gonna find out What this is a normal bear Why did someone say good again after I hit them? Oh, it's the dream. It's our dream. Oh, okay They're they're they're They're with us. They see us. They're aiding us It's fine. We're just fighting one bear Yeah, it's all good What if the goblins aren't non-lethal? He stopped my performance. Oh, yeah, the goblins might kill them. I just Yeah They're they're fighting the war I'll bunk him on the head. Fuck it. We'll Okay, all right. Okay. We've almost got him use necrotic fours on the way I'll use necrotic fours on the bear All right Just don't kill it. We're almost there. Why are you letting them go, dude? Because they want the bear dead Oh, they're yeah, they're they're goblins and that is their guy. All right. How do I uh, how do I non-lethal? Just do a melee attack. You have it activated already. Oh, yeah, wait. I do right now Yeah, because I activated it. So I think activated so if I attack with a melee it won't kill him It will not There you go. Oh, it is halson Oh He's got his regular human Uh, or what else help right now, of course, of course Uh, if we attack the goblins will he still attack us? I think so Well, we're fighting everybody today, I guess Mm-hmm. Yeah, so Let's knock him out. Oh, it's grandma Yankee. I'm so sorry Uh, we'll just knock him out Oh, I can't put him to sleep You've got too much health honestly. I don't know why we weren't fighting almost if you get him two more health He'll be he'll be he'll be Sleep sleep. Yeah Doesn't making him fall asleep not end combat That's true. Yeah, that is true. We need to actually knock him out or else the goblins will kill him All right Uh, I was gonna last rate him, but that's probably you can probably make the goblins Yeah, you can probably make the goblins kill him though Or sorry, let me rephrase you can probably put the goblins to sleep Oh, yeah, that's a good idea Oh my god All right. Well, let's hope this these wargs don't get to him in time They're dashing. They won't If if not, we'll we'll take out the wargs And we did kill a whole baby and they didn't An entire baby. Yeah Why don't we just join the goblins? Look at what we're fighting versus what they're fighting. Oh my god. Oh my god Never mind. Never mind. Never mind. He's a bear again. He's a bear again He's making it really hard to save his life Mm-hmm Actually, he's helping I mean took he's taken care of the goblins That's true Um, if we I'm gonna be honest guys I feel like we need we need to take care of these fuckers. All right. That's fair. They're kind of acting up throw a fireball on him If we move out of the way Before their turn we might be able to knock this thing down I don't know how much damage that'll do though What the hell you have to worry about is him. He's summon a spider. Okay. All right. Well here. I'm just gonna On everybody Uh-oh What are you casting? Are you got well you said you said no fireball? I've got burning hands. You have fireball He's fireball That was amazing. That was amazing. That was amazing. All right That was really good I'll just do man now. I know why that's your biggest thing That was burning hands, isn't it? Yeah, it was Uh, I'm gonna kill beast master zerk because uh, he just summoned a spider and my my fans might have arachnophobia Yeah Do you Interesting um, I do but I guess I do but it's for it. It does not bother me in video games Yeah, it's like for real spider. It has to be a real spider And then I will I I have to leave my legs take over my body Fuck out. I don't know. It is a weird feeling to actually have true fear of something I can't believe for me it has like The the range in which I get arachnophobia has dwindled So that if a spider is like farther away from me in home Even then I'm like, all right, you need to die, but I'm not gonna freak out right now It's so funny that you're like, I gotta take care of the spider. My fans might have Look, I'm just consider it. I don't know what to say. Yeah, it was very considerate. Good of you. Good of you to keep it Keep a keep an eye out God damn it. Please hit beast master zerk Okay, he's only got four health left. Oh, I try on please I don't think he's realized that we're not on his team anymore He's like, man, my allies suck Oh my god, he's still Oh, he's almost dead. He's almost down Have to take out zerk Okay, I will attack halzen I will attack halzen now confirm if I hit him. He'll be unconscious, right? With melee. Yes. Yes. You you have uncut. You have it. Save save now It should the game is buggy sometimes, but yes, it very much should knock him out I've done it so many times before. Okay, here I go Better not lie to me There you go knocked out Oh, we even ended the combat. Yeah, okay kill butcher back back real quick. Why does it say he's dead? He was the fucking worst Oh my god, I'll do it What's going on? We're killing butcher of rack He knows too much. Okay. He's seen too much Yeah Okay Oh, we have non lethal still on Oh, whoops Check that off. We don't need it anymore. There you go. Turn it off. Oh, I have to end my turn Okay See it says he's got one health point left He's not dead. Yeah, that's what I'm saying, right? It says dead, but it says that he also has one hit point left What? He's not dead. So I won't okay. Try to heal him. Can we try healing him? What'll happen? Yeah Okay An anvil fell on his head and he died Somebody clip that. Okay. He's not dead quick heal him Oh my god Oh, I don't even know how that happened Yeah, I'm wondering if he's unconscious or rather knocked out like that I don't know if he'll show up later because I know that like Okay, Halson. All you have to do is walk with us back to the druid camp. Just step over all these dead bodies I don't think he'll even be mad. They're goblin bodies. He doesn't care about goblins All right Well, I think I think jake. I'm talking about all the druids in the grove that are Goblins of him slipping and falling Ah No, but we also killed all of the druids in the grove. So we didn't mysterious No, the druids killed all of the druids in the grove. That's right Oh, wait, are all the tieflings dead? No, the tieflings are a majority of them are All right, uh kill butcher wrack Wait, who oh that guy, okay On it. Oh, I can't grab me. I can't do anything. Okay. I can I can probably get him, but I have to turn Uh pass. I have to turn non-lethal off. Oh, no, no, I Yeah, turn it off and then just turn it right back on. Okay Okay, dead Turning it back on is it on Yes, it's on Heal him quick. Okay. Okay Uh, oh god, hang on Heal him before the fucking thing breaks Yeah, get him out of here before the thing breaks What the fuck didn't work. He's been healed. What's wrong with him? Yeah, I don't know how that works, but Yeah, uh apparently, um, it this this just doesn't work sometimes and he's just the game is just like no, he's dead Yeah, it's it's real weird. All right, here's how we flavor this we flavor this is this happened What's going on? Nothing happened. Okay. We flavored is this happened. God damn it. Nothing happened flavor it is Jacob, this is how you do it. You do it like this. Oh, yeah See That was awesome Um, if we give him the help action would that do anything no target can't be an enemy He's not an enemy. He's our friend. He just doesn't know it Can you use can you you speak with dead on him? Oh, let me find out Uh Why can't I activate my speak with oh there it is No target because he's not dead Okay, now try Oh my god Okay, well, there you go. Okay now try Well, you won't talk to me now because we killed him. Well, you got it. Yeah, you got to do seaming There's no or just guys self just guys seeming Yeah, kind of fucking place you though. Okay, fine. I'll disguise myself as a goblin. You won't know I cannot disguise myself as a goblin only playable pc races be a hot drow Or wait be a human just be just be a guy Okay, fine. I'll be a guy I Well, howdy there partner It should wake him if you long rest. I thought we learned that if uh, no, it'll just delete him It does What happened to you? No, you don't exist. Yeah, what happened to you? What happened? Oh, it's saving it's auto saving now. Yeah Was this the easiest way to get the tadpole problem fixed Yeah, obviously was it Getting hulson killed. No talking to hulson going down this route that we have now ruined Um, I I forgot that you guys like killed the tieflings. No, we didn't kill the tieflings. We killed the druids What? Yeah, the tieflings are alive. Who is dead? Who is dead? The druids most people they're all dead No, the tieflings are well some of the tieflings are fine Some of them died some of the most of them are fine. No, most of them are dead. Let's not miss the words here No, that's it. I did but we got like a group out the thought I'm sorry. The thought of you guys arguing over who's dead in the camp. Well, hulson's dead body is being like Like things to do This is what we deserve I've never gotten to enjoy the story of people are killed I've never gotten to enjoy the story of this game and I never will because I keep killing all the important NPCs No, you can definitely still play the story of this game this way. The uh, let let me tell you You're just not doing I guess the quote unquote a good route. Yeah, but it's fine We'll just wait through the the the bloody pools and we'll get to the end. Let me dispel my disguise We should probably tell minthara that the druid camp is ripe and ready to be that was yes That was my goal But what I was hoping to have happen is I would talk to hulson and I would warn him about what was going to happen And then I would still send minthara over there But like the druids would be not the druids the the tieflings would be ready And when minthara got there we would double cross her Got it. Yeah, that was my ultimate plan What a plan refugees fight Defends this place that isn't yours I mean at the very least hulson would do it and hulson is a big bear man who now All of these people there's no way hulson was signing with us I was not there for that. I forgot that you did that There's no way hulson is on our side All right, okay. All right, uh bad news Actually the prisoner gave up his secrets You know what there's no reason to lie I know it's just really funny that we're like arguing over this and then minthara look bad news, okay You just want to catch you up right here. Just want to It's a real mess out here I'm so lightheaded I have been battling a cold this whole weekend. I can't think straight I've been spinning and now I can barely recognize the text on the screen Oh Okay. All right. I'm gonna start by telling her that the prisoner escaped Yes, because I'm good at my job. He told me everything Power's good You know what I may as well. It's not like anybody's gonna see me there Place your finger on the map of the deception check she's like That is a Wendy's Oh, sorry, sorry my apologies dear drow lady switch like shift's finger that is draw ragslin Praise be we pray they'll die thinking I'm their hero No I will betray my own kind and it will be funny It's already funny It shall be so he dies right So first of all Halzen wouldn't have known it was me because to be fair we we can't get our own story straight. There's no way he's tracing it back to us Second of all, he seems like a chill dude if the tea please for some reason for some ungodly reason are still in the grove Uh, he would at the very least want to defend them. So maybe he would like to warn them Hey, drow and govins are coming either leave or get ready to fight I have no idea Like these are just things that reasonably because he's a good man. He would he would come up with Is it shitty that i'm putting all of this importance on him? No because Honestly, he deserves it for being a druid and his people are shitty. So It's actually his fault All this this fucking domino effect of terrible decisions all results on him because he got himself captured or something Why he didn't accept the healing he was like just let me die, please This is an easier way out. He could tell that we were coming. All right. Uh, what do we do now? No, no, no, let's follow minthar a little bit because she kind of has to do her thing first And then she's gonna run all the way there. So she should kind of just follow her Okay, sounds good She's gonna do a little fucking I want to hear it If you fail me all right everyone hold on my sorry what were you saying anyway No, don't interrupt her Okay, not even bleed without her permission Where's the pain guy The what he's not really with the goblins He was invited by the goblins to go charge the druid camp So that he could help them not just like he could be around Yeah, he's just there to help torture. He's not he's not he doesn't even follow the absolute. Yeah. He does. I really care He's just here. He's just there for the for the brunch social Yeah, yeah, literally literally. Okay. Now we can fast travel. I think to uh blighted village or they didn't pay attention to all the dead goblins outside Okay, all right, let's go Emerald grove environs. That's where uh, okay, we wait. I can do that from anywhere, right? Yeah, just brush him right now. Emerald grove environs fast travel go Uh, let me save once I get there Because I I don't want to go through all of this effort again Mm-hmm, and this is very fun Yeah, this is this is such a whack path. I love that you can do this And again, I know you're like, oh no the story that this is is the story is the beauty of this game Is that it's like this? This is now whatever our fucking game is. It's nuts. Mm-hmm. Okay. All right. Let's go. We're excellent Well, we pray for your excellent. We pray You guys do when I do a short rest before we do anything Why do we need? Um, I'm fine. It's just okay I mean, I am too but fine. We can do a short rest fine Spencer is very upset that allson is dead To be fair, we we legit did everything in our power to keep that Davy is fair We did do everything in our power to not let him die and the game said no The game was like that right where we're killing. What the fuck? I think we got to talk to the really We got to talk to this guy We got to tell them that someone's coming. I'm gonna shut the fuck up umi Uh Yeah, oh, I think we have to literally go to the grove like not out here. Yeah, um, spencer just informed me I don't think the game will kill the kids is the thing. Yeah, that's true At least you won't see it. They will just imply it. Uh, there is a mod to kill the children Also ignore these bodies this way this way this way this way this way what the fucking what do you mean this way? It's this way. Okay. Let me go first then because maybe I've done a maybe I've done a play Let me go first. That's a little evil before you go first. I'm not going. I'm not going. I was just showing the way Okay, all right. Is it through the stone door? Nope, it's that way Yeah through the stone door. Yeah Okay, maybe not what the fuck that's what I said. I thought it was at the grove You know, I'm the grove is the other place. I mean, this will lead me to the grove, right? This just goes. Yeah, but then you can't get down from this place. What are you talking about? I don't think you can get to the grove from here like like down onto the actual grove It's it's this way. It's an overload. I can just take this ladder I think it's only an overlook is what I'm saying like yeah, and then I can just jump to my death Okay I Creative solving freedom problem solving. All right. All right loading. There's a lot of dead tieflings Did you do that? Uh, where's this overlook? Take me Can I talk to the kid? I'm just gonna teleport back to the grove Oh, okay, I'm still here. Okay. There's a mosquito. I'm trying to kill it gross What if they're still running? What tieflings? No the drow As far as I remember you have to talk to somebody to tell them like guys this way people are coming I actually do know where I'm going. I got this Okay, okay Where the fuck did you guys go you guys? I left the grove entirely How about I am on the road? I'm just making sure they're not running here Oh, it's raining. I would cry Why am I almost why am I getting poisoned? Why are you getting poisoned? I don't know. Look at the question. I'm just running Yeah, there's a poison cloud somewhere I've been poisoned. Yeah, I don't know why we're getting poisoned Uh, there's a poison infesting this I'm gonna go through this stone door right now. I'm like Is it through here or the fuck is this? Hopefully this is where we attacked the lady with the Yeah, yeah, this is where what's her face was kaga I'm just wondering if this is where they ended up. It doesn't seem it's like though The raid doesn't trigger until you long rest Got it. Okay understood in that case. I'm gonna long rest here in this tomb of kaga Sounds good They won't be in there. I know that they're gonna be in that sanctum. I led you to okay In that case Don't they just attack from the front? No That's got it. Huh? That's what they did in my game Yeah, so there's two ways you can do this you can you can side with minthara go with her on the raid And if everybody in the grove is still alive you talk to zev lure and then then then then they attack and you attack at the same time You do it this way where everybody's already dead They just show up and go praise be and like that's it and you have to wait Yeah, they're like, oh, they're they're dead already. Thanks. Wait, don't tell me that I'm about to see it There's more to it than that. Okay. All right. I hope so We're not reading books All right, uh, I'm gonna I'm gonna long rest. Yeah, go ahead long rest. Yeah Naked again Oh volos here. Yeah, I was able to talk to volo Go talk to him. Go talk to him. Yeah. Yeah. We had a sensual moment. He's got something really cool to say Also, it looks like gale is dying Yeah, he needs to eat my shoes. I can tell you He didn't eat uh tune things boots. Mm-hmm Uh, it says that I'm having a conversation with other we go Took a minute to load I appreciate that will is wearing a crop top back He's in that pose of like I might be invited to join this conversation. I don't want to back up Residual psionic malaise the idea that gale is just huffing boots whenever you're out adventuring is amazing Well, it's it's well, it's kind of sharp I'm gonna say nothing That is what happens when a mind flare parasite Will's like, yeah, I've heard of ceremonies. Yeah The the dialogue keeps just with every waking breath trying to get me to tell volo that I've been infected And I am doing my absolute best not to Why not? Fine, I guess I'm gonna have to I don't believe you. Stop telling me the lie My god, the game begs me to tell him and then when I finally do tell him he doesn't believe me Stupid dm Of course, I really Utterly ridiculous Sorry, I can't sit down here. My tail hurts Sorry, I can't lay back I have a tail He will not stop being in the shot. I love what he just screams that Hello, I'm also here Oh, shit, he just gave me the blazer of benevolence Uh, when you inspire an ally using bardic inspiration, you gain four temporary hit points Well, that's cool. I'm never gonna use that because I don't use my bardic inspiration for anything but violence Davy's like my inspiration is for me All right, gale, what the fuck is up? Give me what I need The fuck is wrong with you gale You're probably oh my god What? Just the fact you'd be like no, not right now We have so many magic items I'll give him the blazer of benevolence Just give it to him, but I was like, here you go. Oh, that wizard just ate that fucking gift I gave Thank you. I that sings to sleep the demon inside The metaphorical demon I haste the point out but no less dangerous And no less bound to wake up again to continue its ravages Such as the nature of all monsters The course of our camaraderie is much better served by not taking that particular detour. I'm sorry I just gave you a priceless item a gift from volo himself. He's right over there I can just tell him that I did that he actually I'll tell him you stole it from me Yeah, I'll tell him you ate it out of my hands I'll tell him that I was so excited that he gave me that gift that I ran straight to you gale My best friend and showed it to you and you just ate it right you put your face in it to you say you were smelling it You made a whole meal out of it man You asked me what the thread count was Red count. All right. Well, that's that is this silk My favorite Uh, I'm gonna go to bed. I would like to go to bed Well, my god, who did not go to bed? I would like to go to bed Auto select who cares for the rest to go to bed Can I skip this? I'm gonna skip this. We already know what happens. Oh my god. It's so bright Oh, shit. I don't want to skip this at all. Mm-hmm. Hello again Hello me Yeah, you do You haven't been using the parasites power You think you don't need it. You haven't tried to have it removed. I trusted that you would protect me Good We aren't so different you and I Oh god, dammit. I gotta do grandma Yankee So I'm gonna guess that this vision dude is in fact Uh a working for the absolute or b just the parasite telling me not to remove it while it does its work While it munches It is what makes them obey When the order to transform is given it will not be a matter of days They will be mind flayers in an instant Or it's not for my protection. So would you go on over there me doing oh Oh reverie is having a private moment Because I am just like you It's just gore funky is trying to listen and that is Oh I I I unprivate it I'm seeing your dreams. Oh my god Okay, it is kind of cool it being yourself there's one thing that I've noticed and that's uh Dream me has a little bit more of a cleft chin He's just a little more of a gig of a gig of chad Oh and his like tattoo is green. I think you're just black, right? No mine's green too. He's just brighter green Oh, okay, and he has more fresh and he has a little bit more green in his hair Like I said, this is future me, but He's been greenified. Yeah, he's been in the Feywild for a little longer. So he's like green and Hmm what I did in my game in my second playthrough I made my dream guardian my previous main character and it is the coolest fucking thing ever Because it's like the character I played a hundred hours with And then he's like voice acted and like telling me about what I should do and it's like oh, it's because you did this So I asked where I could find him and I definitely forgot to listen to what he was saying Hey was I probably talked over him. I'm sorry. No, it's okay. I just basically says no, no, don't do that. It's okay. I got it Thanks. Thanks guy. That's that's what he says. So no, no, thanks guys and him Oh Uh, someone's someone says he's the version of you that you wish you could be That is how time travel magic works All right, uh, okay, we did it. Good job team Let's get out of here. Good stuff. Good stuff. Let's go talk to the drow lady. Yeah. Yeah. I'm leaving camp right away Oh, there's goblins here They're just in the buildings They're walking around with explosives Oh my god All right Where are we? Debbie look behind you. Look at these. What the fuck is this? Oh my god They're sappers. I love them Uh, okay So the original way I told you which is over here Right. Okay. I have to go this way then I wish I knew I wish I knew you on me I piss in poo I'm the loveless. I still have love guitars love Yeah, nice. Oh, you still have it. I still have it. It's permanent. It's permanent I'm so excited. I hope so Let me let me uh, let me try talking Yeah, no, you you you talk you talk Oh, shit. There's dead people here now. What the fuck? Wait, are you telling me that we didn't go with them? That's disappointing There is a way where you can go with them, but the everybody in the camp has to be alive Since they were already dead the game was like well, that's done. Yeah, pretty much The true honor is to serve the absolute. Wow. She loves you fiercely Yeah, you helped I did help the strength she has given you And she has so much more to give There is a bond between us A bond I can see what you are What you want Ayo You can see what I want Ayo Hey Yes, yes Definitely both definitely both open your mind open your mind open your mind I open my mind. I open my mind DM DM Oh, whoops cyberpunk meme it's a cyberpunk meme or just I will come So I definitely didn't mean to kill all of the tieflings, but I continue to fall upwards because now I am allies with a powerful evil regime It's goblin party time. Uh-oh. Uh, here's a question. I'm streaming Uh-oh I like how the sub title say for me and you see he said for a hero Oh You're misdeeds The goblins praise the absolute but their celebrations also honor their leaders minthara and you You fought well So I'm streaming is it going to do anything 18 plus that I shouldn't um So if you push escape and go into options and go into interface or sorry accessibility Um, just make sure genitals and cinematic nudity are turned off got it. All right, so we lost will Yeah, will leaves Will will does not want to sign Oh god There's oh no, there's bodies here in camp I love how no matter what I do and no matter what he does volo keeps getting captured And it's by the same goblins every time Eat the gummy worm. I'm gonna eat the worm Yay Okay, this is good So there's a are you seeing the new the new level up menu for it for you Uh, I don't see a new level up menu now. Okay on the top right by your math push that like red button That says to elitid power. Holy shit. What is this? Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty sick. It's pretty sick It's a whole other tree that you will never see if you don't uh Consume the we all get to or just only you get to I think only uses it I think only dabby use Then dabby you should use both Where is he? He's in that little thing. Um, he wants to talk though. So dabby should talk. Oh, okay. Yeah, there he is He's probably gonna be like, how dare you Force tunnel is pretty good. Uh that first that uh beginner's luck one I forget what that one that one is really good favorite one that gives you like an a crit or like advantage on like your first role No, it gives it. Uh adds your proficiency bonus again Oh, yeah, a favorable the tadpoles the tadpoles are shared with the groups so somebody can hog them all for themselves. That's unfortunate Uh, that's fine. That's fine That is okay I do like concentrated blast. That's pretty great. That one is so good It's kind of situational because it's like you have to be concentrating and then somebody else has to be concentrating and then You can end both concentrations to do a bunch of damage Wait, this ends concentration Well, wow, I don't know. So it says so I have to be concentrating But if the target was also concentrating then I heal as much as the damage. Oh that yeah, sorry. That's it. Which is still great Mm-hmm Push t on it like hover over it push t Dispo you were concentrating on will end Oh, well All right, that's fun. I'll activate favorable beginnings then Yeah, yeah, yeah That one's good because of the next one after which is called look at the far realms that one is awesome Oh my god. No, can I undo this at all? Oh No, I don't think so. All right next time I get a tadpole. Let me know because I could have gotten charm. That would have been perfect Exactly what I wanted Oh, I really could you I think you have to get the two middle ones. Do I no, no, no, no, it's it's available to me Yeah, it's like a tree. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you could I I got favorable beginnings if I had gotten that Yeah, I see now. I see now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you will get more you will get more. Okay There's a goblin chasing scratch around too. All right. Oh god damn it You stop that Why are there so many fucking dead bodies here? Did they drag all these dead tieflings here? They're all tieflings. This is not what I intended You should uh talk to volo and esterian Fuck is volo Oh, wait. No esterian. There's esterian esterian. How do you feel? Well, hello, you're part bitch. I didn't even invite you Dear My water How's anyone in the camp going to ride? Oh shit continue I was thinking about you actually. I'm flattered. Where's I think not? Oh damn. Hmm rejected Don't worry. Don't worry. Don't worry. It's fine. He starts out this way. He's playing hard to get I'll get him. Don't you worry Yeah, I'm sure Oh my god, I have to wait to talk to volo again. I literally just talked to him I think he's ignoring that he's in a cage. Yeah, he's like if I deny it long enough Oh, he's just making you sit down again. All right. Well Volo, what did you do, buddy? They put him back in the cage They didn't even put him back in a cage. They just put a cage over him It's not too deep. Now look at that goblin bed just walking around the orbital socket I could attempt an extraction I've a needle in my tunic after all Do it Well, maybe save first Maybe maybe save Save him. Does it just hit continue? No, no, okay. Okay. Good. Okay. Good. I gore Volo carefully holds one of your eyes open and begins to prod Oh, I hate this Into your mind, you're fine. You're fine. You're fine And begins to push He's only messing. He's not even messing with the cool. I were fine. Yeah My god Oh The eyes pick I will not move Shadow heart The day I like how you literally put two oh my god, you literally like put two more in your brain and then you came out there and was like Can you take them out? A dread Wait, my eye's still there. I'm looking at it What's he gonna do? What's he doing with my body? It's actually really cool Scratch Cosmetic What is that Chained to I know we'll think or two about being chained I'm sure you'll sort out your little brain problem one way or another Yeah, I'm blessed by lofi. It's hard terribly. Sorry my friend I'll just bet how many times he's been caught. Hey, you got the air sats. I uh, don't worry. I uh Oh, he's not in the cage anymore. I'm a follower of ill matter. This is this is fine You uh, you should talk to somebody to you look like I'm gonna talk to i'm gonna talk to a sterian. Oh, okay If you're here to beg forgiveness, save your breath My company are Forgiveness for what? What are you on about at any moment? You literally you say the strangest shit I'm gonna talk to shadow heart. We're the fucking shadow heart. Oh, I can never pay attention to where people are What's a glorious celebration? hip deep in gore Oh, I have a normal eye You uh permanently have C invisibility now though under her Is something wrong? What's wrong with enjoying a gift from our guests? Maybe if I down enough of this swell, it'll pickle the worm in my skull It's kind of hard to ask to be honest Me and empath sensing that she's upset We set a pack of refugees on fire A child could have done it. We didn't do anything. We they were like that when we got there I'm sorry I don't I don't believe you All right, talk to menthara. What the fuck is menthara? Hello menthara. You're right there Do you give me a second takes a sec but to talk to somebody I guess Oh We're just gonna stare at each other Oh god, I hate that I have a normal eye now. What the fuck is that? It's not funny that you have just a normal eye and then a crazy eye And the crazy eye is not the one that lets me see invisibility My normal eye Let me go to my options really quickly. It is accessibility Uh show genitals off show cinematic unity off All right. Yeah, you're good. You're good. You're good. You're good I just want to let you know that I also streamed this the chat decided to pork menthara And uh, it is still up on my youtube channel and I did not get claimed or anything Okay, it didn't get taken down I don't know what you mean You are mine. All right guys, let's never sleep again Get in the bed Get in the bed There's a dead there's blood in my bed. Oh my god That is the hardest way to go to sleep. This goblin track needs to just needs to sleep the dog alone Guys, there's just a dead bird Oh, yeah What the fuck he's a dead bird If only guts could have been here to see this I wasn't trying to do anything. All right, I'm going to bed go to bed. Yeah, go to bed No I Unprivated it Can you imagine just being like I'm about to have my secret moment in the bushes nearby being like Care to tell me why This isn't my idea of a good time I'm going to kill you. Don't stab my good eye. She stabs your eye, but it's the other one and just goes tink Uh don't make this personal I'm not afraid of you Are you telling me that they're going to try to murder us because I decided not to sleep with her No, this happens anyways. Yeah, this happens even if you sleep with her. What you should quicksit. Oh, okay I'm getting flashbacks to our stream version of this where the same thing happened And we spent the first hour of the stream doing this Okay, this fight. Oh damn. It's hard Uh, all right. Debbie. What do you want to do? Uh fucking Well, my best move right now would be fairy fire There's a big ass dude over here Um, I think it is I honestly, um, ignore it. I'll take everything I learned from the fight that I did I did with the sun chat We have to do save minthar off her last because she heals every turn like she has lay on hands And she it's just infinite. She just keeps laying on hands. So we will not kill her We have to take care of this ogre and we have to take care of all the other ads and then we can hit her But the ogre is the biggest problem. What if we call in the ogres right now? Oh, shit. Can you do that? I mean we have the horde, but I don't know if they would come to camp I have no idea Uh, who has the horn? I think dabby does I have a solution. I'm just gonna Oh, I'm not. Oh, what a great solution. I'm just not close enough. Yeah. Damn. Damn Now I am that tiny step. Perfect. Kill them all. Blood, blood for draw ragslin Draw ragslin Draw ragslin, we have a lot of draw ragslin. I can I can only get to minthara I can't really get to anybody else right now. Why can't I throw it over here? Why can't I throw my weapon? You already used your action to do the Oh, right. That's l Uh If I I can jump over there and start attacking. I'm just not gonna be in a great position Um, should I go here or should I go for the big guy the big guy and I'll join you? Okay Crap that was bad, but whatever Oh, okay. I thought she was gonna get an attack of opportunity. That's how you can cheese the attacks of opportunities is by jumping Which is probably why it's a bonus action in this game. All right. He's bleeding. That's my turn Any of you do anything cool This is funny because it's like we've just we've just we have no allies Where are they all? Okay guys, I need you to look at where asterian normally is There's just a dead tiefling What's Terry? What were you doing? I never asked what was in his cup Whoa, I didn't need to not water Yeah Yeah, she let it Uh, let's see if we could do a little sleep. You might be able to dash over here So there is good news Yeah, uh, she's tying up her own loose end Uh, nice Well, there goes those guys, uh, she's tying up her own loose end. So after we kill her When we move on from here No one will know the atrocities that have occurred That is true. No witnesses. Yep. We can just go on with our day Do you know who the only person that we've made an ally with is the only person we need to have made an ally with Oh Draw ragslyn That's true Draw rags We're gonna have to break you definitely need to break her concentration immediately Yeah, let me did she hold you that's yeah, she held Davy. Oh All magic missile her is yeah. Yeah, hit her with some magic missiles. Even when I'm held they can't hit me It's gonna hurt buddy Oh, you're dazed you made the oof you went Oh, no grab a Yankee Oh my god, grab a Yankee All right, I'm gonna have to rage this turn hit me with that. Wait, wait, wait Grab me Yankee. Please magic missile that this terrible person. It's not her turn yet. Oh, well, I'm fucked. Yeah This fight's uh Uh, okay, that's all I can do Okay, that boo yawg is gonna do something Okay, that's why that's fine Oh, you're you're you you slipped while being held This is not a good day for me What is happening? You're having such a bad time Oh my god, what the fuck? Oh my god Okay, I'll get I'll get you out. I'll get you out Oh my god, I can't hang on I gotta jump Is there we we need to get grandma Yankee out of there too. She's gonna perish It's just get me. Look at you. Just look at gore funky really quickly. Just look at this man He's got a shield and a giant stick that's twice as big as yours I'm ready to fight Fuck around and find out um I think I can jump to you. I think but Ah, it's really annoying because I have to be out of the grease. Yeah um, I mean I think at this point you're just gonna have to hit her but I mean hitting her. Yeah, because she's not gonna break concentration unless she gets hit Well, I can help if I get to Davy. I can do help action. Oh, that will get him out of there Yeah, it's just that I can't get it there with the movement currently Oh, wait, hang on. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I can just do this. Yeah, just jump I say you just got him up. I failed. I failed my saving throw Oh, no This is the worst Okay. Okay. Okay. You are Yeah, you're just ascending You're just ascending Goodbye she saved that too Yep It was a 16% chance of of that Yeah, get her out of there I'm beginning to think she has high con Oh my god, two two whole persons I don't know who did it. Oh this this lady It's the goblin warlock. Yeah, this is fine Sweet Guys, we are in trouble. Okay, so we need to get those three guys out instantly Oh god, well, okay. Well guys guys. All right Oh, no Mita sent She's might You're not going up you're going down Oh hell, yeah You'll never see the twin peaks Yeah, she was going to lay hands on you one way or the other I will lay hands. All right Well, there goes my turn. Oh christ. Okay. Uh, yeah, she's about to die I never wanted to be a villain Take your oh Nice God, yeah, now we have a turn Oh, wow that actually worked Davi what's up Um, you know what I'm actually gonna have grandma yankee drink one of these just kidding I was gonna have you drink one, but she has two. So if you need a potion on your turn with your bonus action Um, I might die I might die before I'm given the chance, but let's let's see what happens Grandma yankee is blind. I knew that was going to happen. Eventually she was having bad cataracts Uh Just wish it didn't happen at this moment. He's been up reading too many books It's only been one book grandma It's been the book of vile darkness The book see look at that fucking lay on hands all everything we did didn't matter 24 god Yeah, it's really annoying Oh my god I do I do gotta say what do you have to say menthara is a great character out If if you do a playthrough where like you can she's on your side She's uh, she's she's a very good character But right now she needs to die I can't do anything. Oh, I have a turn. Why do I have a turn? Cuz I don't know Uh, well, I only have a I only have a bonus action and I'm not sure why that is but Oh, because you were you were down so you got back up Go bardic inspiration You only get your bonus action. It's really weird Oh, that was I forgot it did that Uh, and it won't do it again Yeah, I can't do anything else. So I'm just gonna have to end my turn Thank god. They're fighting. They're hitting me. Jesus Okay, kill yourself. Damn it Hill myself No, he's he's pretty good Well, I was talking about uh, grammy enki. Oh, yeah, who's the holding person? Uh, her it gets warlock warlock's being annoying as hell Okay, really? Yeah Okay, okay Try to magic missile the fucking warlock She only has her bonus action That was really stupid Oh, you did it grandma Yankee your sacrifice was not in vain You confused them Uh, soul branding Yeah, I don't know what that does pretty neat Blast We're funky. Ow my ass Oh my god, don't worry. It was a critical miss Ow, all right. All right. All right. We're getting a turn. We're getting a turn Turn time. Oh, yeah, we're good. We're alive. We're alive. Let's do it. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go All right. All right. Let's see what I can do here bonus action I Can't uh inspire grammy enki again Don't even worry about grammy enki I'm going to blade flourish. You need to damage. You need to kill these goblins I'm gonna defensive flourish this goblin right here. Oh, good idea. Good idea. I have a 55 chance of succeeding Well, you'll probably get him I mean statistically it's more likely than not, right? There we go. Nice. It didn't kill him That's he's a one hit point. Yeah, well story of my life Uh, here I'm gonna go for this knife Nice All right, now that I've done that Now I've done that I'm gonna move right here Yeah, careful because you guys are in fire. I am on fire now. Yeah I may have always been on fire. It's it's hard to say Oh Okay, I'm glad I wasn't there anymore. Yeah Oh, I didn't do that only broke the log. I didn't really do much else What's my ac right now 20 that's good I guess I'll do this. Does it raise it by four? Or does it increase it by a bardic? Oh, you know, it just raises it by four That's good. My ac is 20 nice Um, wow, well bronky. You got a lot of hp Yeah, I'm I told you I'm kind of a tank Uh, I feel like I should just be easy and just do this Yeah, that's a good idea. Yeah, get get rid of the ads one bit by bit Okay, I clicked the ground Okay, I I just I just used halo of spores on the on the floor Sweet son Uh, when it's outside, it's called the earth No, of course All right, what are you guys doing over there? Davi are you from the midwest? Because you're the only mid-eye west Oh my god Yeah, you're so stupid to not have come up with that great joke for Talk again by a vow of enmity Don't worry, you can still see Oh, I'm down I thought they were shooting you All right, ogre what you got. Okay. That's something Well, I'm down again Kill that ogre. Yeah, it's slowly for surely ogre. I hardly hardly know her Don't worry, Davi. I'll get you up Let's go I'm alive Halo Damn, why do you keep using it on her use it on somebody you might lose? Oh, yeah, that's true I think he's only got like a certain reach with it though. Yeah. Thank you healing. It's very small. Oh, wow Grammy Yankee actually gets a turn Damn, okay kill something God, we got magic missable, please One two three. You can kill that whole ass goblin tracker The tracker or the devout, I mean you can kill it. You can try to kill the devout This guy's only got nine hp. Yeah, that's what I'm saying is he's only got nine hp, but he's still dealing all his damage Well, that's what I mean like that might be easier to take out with magic missile this guy over here Okay, well so annoying. Well, we've tried we failed let goes on so annoying Yeah, uh the next turn I get I'm gonna try to get the fuck away from this woman Probably a good idea. Yeah Uh, I'm just looking at the stuff. Um, okay I'm gonna say down down down by the river And go grammy Yankee. Oh, he's still alive Mm-hmm in Candice I've been in Candice. I've been in Candice Leave me alone. Stop. Stop that. No My god Guys I have bad news I'm dead. I think she may have had an std because I'm on fire right now Oh You are burned you're unrecognizable. I think you are uh, you are you are buried at the tomb of the fallen soldier Oh my god, it was gonorrhea This guy's way too chunky for his own good Thanks for not targeting me Oh god, okay, hang on Emma's gonna come back and be all like what happened where the rip of my scrolls. Oh, there they are. Yeah Just tell me away somewhere else. Yeah, there you go. Yes, one hp. Let's go. I got this Surely they won't hit me this large group of enemies you put me next to Oh, shit. Sorry I'll join you. Hang on. I gotta take an attack of opportunity though. Oh, well, I have a bonus action Maybe I can shove her never fucking just just heal me with a bonus action, right? I'm out of spell slots. Oh my god I'm coming Don't worry, I'm here my back is broken, but I'm here. Oh a potion I'll heal you later Why did you do that? Now she's just gonna come over here and I'll be in the exact same predicament That's fair. Maybe grammy yankee will die this turn All I have to do is get one turn. That's all I have to do just one turn Grammy yankee is that almost full health because she's been left. Oh, goodbye. Oh I hate this Please target me. Thank you I'm literally built for it Look, she's gonna go for grandma yankee and everything's gonna be fine. Yeah Oh nice The gorefuck is still up. Okay. We're all losing our minds at what are at like What are seemingly crazy moves from her, but they're all just strategically the most viable move Proving definitively, none of us know the first thing about how to strategize in this game Because we're so bewildered when she just does what makes sense All right, all right, uh I got an idea here Okay, what's your idea? I'm just gonna do that and then I'm gonna do Hit him again. Uh, I can see you Yeah, but they can't I just wanted you to know I can see you you go. I can smell you Uh, wait a sec. Wait a sec. What are you gonna do with that dash you idiot? They want they don't want to hit me that badly. They'd rather go for invisible tune thick. Yeah Oh, that's not the one Yeah, that's what that's my last known location What were you just playing? Uh, nothing Um I thought I had the I can smell you voice line, but I guess I don't also I'm still dead I'm working on it. Uh, hey, you got one. So it says this just in I am dead You're unconscious more I think so dramatic more at five Why Why why literally I literally threw it at you it said it I literally threw it at me. It said you threw it at me as well And you see the game went The game decided that you you don't get to live What the fuck I my turn's done. What am I supposed to do? Hit me with a healing word I don't have any spells left Okay, I Um, do you have a bonus action left? Yeah Yeah, you can do that and then like Next turn you can heal next turn. Yeah, oh boy. I can't wait to not get targeted on the ground That's what I'm looking forward to me not getting hit Night night I just realized how large I am on the screen. I'm gonna make myself a little smaller Please don't heal the ogre He's sleepy Here we are That's how that's how I want to be Stop waking up the people we're asleep Davi's on the ground his character's going Oh Really mentally I'm still stuck on the part where I let volo gouge my eye out and I got a benefit for it He's so branded All right, she's leaving her. She's leaving him behind. Oh grandma yankee survives Grammy opportunity attack do it. Okay She just fucking wave dashed Goodbye, grandma. Oh one hell. Oh, she's got one hell. All right. All right. All right. All right. Hi guys This has to be a crit Hell yeah You did it You killed the ogre. I can help you. I can help We'll kill the next goblin bui ogre What's up kill the goblin bui ogre right in front of you. I don't have any more attacks. Oh throw something at him Uh, that's an action. I already used my action. Okay. I don't know. You can't really do anything. Do whatever you got then I don't know. Yeah I'll do this for next time Bloodied great axe. Good job. Yeah And uh, they're gonna come at me. So I'm gonna make them dash. I'm gonna make them like work for me Okay, or they can do that sure He'll be never that is gonna be that is so fucking funny The game keep controller and she's like Don't take grandma Yankee She's the one like player who would just use the C stick down C over and over Oh, it's so funny I'm alive. I'm alive Why did you use it on that one and not the one that had two health Where's the one that has two health? Oh wait, is it? Oh, okay. It's right there. I was way the fuck over there Way the fuck over you could walk you didn't move from very far. I want I want to do that Oh my god, I choose to drink a potion. Yeah, all right fine. All right. I'm in the middle Everybody come get me. She's not going to do that. She's gonna walk right up to me All right. All right. Is that magic missile on there we go There we go. Nice. There we go. Now we're getting some dots at one health left. Yeah I I okay best spell in the whole game What happened critical miss? Oh damn Poor funky I can't stop thinking about her wave dance It's so funny It's just the thought of like her walking up in her model in this game up to grandma Yankee and then her just like like spamming Like moving Fast Oh my god, I have a chance. I have a chance to survive No, I don't because I don't have a bonus action. Fuck me. I'm dead Oh my god, do something to get her away from me, please. She's gonna kill me so hard. It's really annoying I have a potion of mind reading. I have a potion of animal speaking. I have a potion of normal healing Nice, thank you And then I drink a potion And I go And then I'm done You know what? I'm gonna hope that this that this healing potion gives me all 10 healing and then I end that she misses one of her attacks. Well, I got five healing Maybe she'll hit me. I bet you won't fight me again She's she's very mad at you. Oh, I just realized that grandma Yankee is dying. Whoops. Yeah, grandma Yankee's not. Yeah Her death happens sometimes Nope, she's running away from me. All right At least it was Gorefunky Yeah, thank god Don't you don't don't don't don't don't Don't I'm alive. I'm alive. She's got like three more attacks. Goodbye. Oh my god All right. All right. All right. I'm really far away. I will never get a turn Not in this game Thank you. Thank you for the one hp All we have to do is keep stalling. Oh, I get a turn. Yay Oh, you do actually get your turn. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because we all have the same turn now I'm gonna stab. Oh, do we stab stab stab stab stab her stab Yeah, she's ruptured now She's gaping. I'm sorry I apologize. Maybe that's why she's so angry. You know what? I apologize Yeah We definitely need to heal grammy Yankee. I need a an apology video tomorrow. Okay. I've made a severe lapse in judgment. Oh, no She's just bullying you Stop it. Oh my god. She's like I'm putting you down. God damn it She's just alive. She dislikes me so much. Oh, no, he's dead dad. Yeah Okay, she's really mad that you guys did not do the thing. Yeah She's very very very upset that we did not fuck Commence battle Commence battle you're alive. Oh, I'm alive. Yeah All right I got it here. I gotta get to this guy So I'm gonna do this fucking gullet is just filled with healing potion. I do appreciate Oh my god, she's gonna go straight for me Wave dash I can I can throw up I can throw a potion at him, but that's all I can do and it's a little potion I'll do it. I'll do it. Okay fucking. She's just so angry at me She's so mad We're where's the potion? Where's the potion? What is happening? All right, well, I'll just drink my potion then that's all I could do Goodbye friends So long I'm withered woe jack right now I wanted I want to do this fight over This fight's hard. I know we're almost done. Maybe Maybe gore gore funk. He's alive. We're funky. He can never die. I think he's alive And neither can chew. Oh Please stop that We need him. Ow That was my face Please kill that goblin I'm like, he's stabilized All right, he's dead. All right, I'm putting you in the fucking bushes Yeah, thank you for putting away from him where the enemies are not All right, now she can't get gaby. No, there's no possible way to opportunity attack All right What's the plan here let's finish her she's never gonna stop All right, she's never gonna stop. I couldn't reach her with a regular so I have I mean in fairness As long as you keep healing me. She's guaranteed to lose her attacks That's true. That is true. All right. That's my turn Oh my god Oh my god. Oh my god Her goal is to make sure that you're dead. That is the entire point of this combat is to kill you We're out. We're out of scrolls. By the way, we're out. Oh, no, we have one more. We have one more We'll just talk to withers after this All right Oh god, finally All right back to my underwear Wait, wait, I have a I have a scroll. We can just talk to withers Withers isn't here right now. We have to sleep first. Oh my god. He was a corpse. Got it. Never mind. Get me up All right, I'm just gonna take all their stuff before I do this Uh Oh god, I was naked on the ground. Is she actually No, no, no, no I think this is my last scroll. So not actually I think this is our last scroll. Yeah. Oh, yeah He's like five All right, what did she have on her? It's okay. Never mind. Oh my god. This goblin has alfira's loot, which is that tiefling bard lady Uh, this oh, can I have it? She had oh boots are striding. Uh, it's in this goblin right here Ooh So when you cast does it do nothing spell that requires concentration you get momentum for one turn While you are concentrating you can't get knocked prone or be moved against your will Uh, these are the boots if anybody wants them. Ooh, what are my boots right now? You have the the speedy light feet, which is when you dash you get three lightning charges. Yeah, what do those do? When you dash you get three lightning charges. What what's the lightning? What are lightning charges do? Oh, uh, when you do damage when you have plus one to attack rolls and you deal additional one lightning damage Okay, you should take the new boots. Yeah, I want the new boots. I want to be here. Uh, I'll give them there Go reverie There's also spider silk armor you gain a plus one bonus stealth That's spider silk armor is awesome And you get advantage on con saving throws Uh, what is the 12 armor class? No, I'm keeping my hide armor. Is it actually armor? It says it is light armor. Oh, okay. Got it Uh, should I put that to you gore funky? Yeah, that's fine. I'll hold on dude. I don't think I'm gonna use it though She also had the zionide Zionide's fire once for short rest you can encase the target and fairy fire for two turns if you miss an attack against it Oh, the freaking spider step boots are so good Oh, yeah, are you doing boots of striding? Uh, I was yeah, why? No, that's fine. I just want to make sure because there's also the spider step boots and um, I kind of love that Uh, what are they for healing? It's great because then I don't have my movement slowed Oh, yes, please I take yeah, take those Are you ink? Uh, what else have on Zionide she had her at ease clothing Oh, that's mine It's a tasteful boots that I want to see how I want to see what I look like. Oh Crazy Oh Wait, wait Davy put on the menthars at ease clothes. I will not she will never see me again Do it do it do it do it. I will never think of this girl again The bird is dead. Yeah, the bird is dead. Look at me Damn, where are you? You can press tab go push tab and look at me. Oh, I found you Okay, now I kind of want it All right, take it. Take it. That fit does look good I'm sending it to you. Yeah, how do I Just put it on your clothes like on the upper I don't know where we're ended up. I need to organize Oh, you press I and then press like the little hamburger like the three line things A hamburger The three little the three little lines. Yeah, I I know what you were talking about. It's just a hamburger Yeah, that's how I've heard it be referred to Oh my god, that actually looks amazing on me Guys this was worth it That was your worth it just for that to be honest. All of me dying that was worth it. I think we should net I think we should absolutely not tell Emma what happened at all. No, not at all. Not at all It's just she's just uh, just just see the she's gonna she's gonna come and just have a bunch of like bodies Yeah Really is anything gonna happen while we're sleeping And now we're fine. She comes back and attacks again Yeah, this is Davy's first playthrough. Oh the dog wants to talk to me. One sec. The dog wants to talk I'm sorry Let me catch speak with animals real quick. No, I've got speak with animals. Don't worry. Oh, okay. We all have to be quick We all can do it. That's that's great Oh Oh the combat music is gonna keep going Oh, that's oh, it's not for me. Interesting. Look at all the blood So much blood. Oh my god. There's blood everywhere Freeze it Yeah Oh, he's got a ball in his mouth Hand that over It's only fair that you enjoy it too But if you feel like throwing it I wouldn't mind that at all. Are you gonna play fetch with him? That's so cute He said no Davy. I have a ball now. Davy Davy Oh, we we also have another parasite. I grabbed it from her body so you can press that menu and get the thing you wanted Oh, get it. Get that charm ability. Oh my god. Thank you. I appreciate you And then after that, I won't steal any more of these parasite things Because I'll be happy Now I have charm Oh, yeah I should also get luck of the far realms eventually But not now later Okay. Well, that was fun Oh What a battle. What a fight Well, what do we have to do now go to moonrise towers? We could go to the high road Yeah, you want to take the high road already taking the low road. Yeah, pretty much I'm leaving camp. I'm leaving camp as well. Oh, hey more dead bodies. Oh, yeah Hey, I wonder what I'm going to emerald grove environment. Actually, we should go to blighted village That's where we should fast travel. Got it blighted village on my way How do I go to the like the main map? It's on the right side right there on the top right. You have like all those. I see fantastic. Yeah, thank you Uh, um, you can also push m Well, yeah, he was there. Yeah, it just it just only showed me the the cavern I was in Oh, I didn't know you could do that I didn't even know you could do that. Okay. There you go. What a fool. I am Blighted village What's a green hole in this area? I can talk to some people Oh, we can go talk to auntie ethyl apparently. I don't know who that is. Let's go. Do you want to go talk to auntie ethyl? We can go do that. That's this way. Yeah, we can either go down this way or we can go up for Yeah, we should we should let's go talk to auntie ethyl Okay, I I talked to her in the druid camp. I think no. Oh, she was the one not tiefling lady. Okay. Yeah Uh the one that I ate soup from the way leave lead the way leave the way go follow the path I will indeed do this The cobbled I think I have a vague recollection of this because this was like in the the 2019 Oh, it's auntie ethyl Oh, I like the early access. Yeah, the early access right when it came out Um, the early access came out in 2020 She never clapped eyes She's never clapped to their poor sister Ha Just because she's an old woman in a swamp. She's a hag lay off the fairy tales lads Gaping They're just standing out there gaping laughing sir. I have been hoping for a fight that I could win easily You have just given it to me Pop off daddy. Thank you. I will Uh, I'm gonna do a slashing flourish. Thank you killed him in one hit. What the fuck I didn't even get to do anything. Well, there's another guy there for you All right, fine. I was just gonna non-lethally kill him. Oh, well, you should have told me that before All right, whatever Here, I'll kill this incredibly terrible person Oh, he's he's suffering. Oh, no suffering is what he's allowed to suffering is allowed. Yeah, play his dirge. Play his dirge Yeah I'm presenting you a song is as epic as you All right, let me talk to you. What experience. Oh, she's talking to me now. Oh my god Yeah I'd love to Oh Guys She teleported Into green noxious smoke I'm gonna go into these wetlands. Yeah, let's go referee. Is this fey wild magic because I don't know anything. Yeah, that was fey wild magic If I've ever seen it it Oh, what the hell is happening? It's saving. Oh, it's autosaving Why Oh, it looks like you're in some kind of conversation like you're being watched What's out of the ordinary Give me guidance Oh, sorry There you go That's all it's only dc 20 Yeah, well now I have guidance so this should be easier Maybe if your guidance was better We have three inspirations. I'm gonna use inspiration Just use one Yeah, if I don't get a I I pretty much never use. Okay. No, I pretty much never use more than one Especially on something with this low of odds Same same The place has a quiet sense of calm. Yeah, it's fine here. Everything's fine strange Yeah, what the fuck was there to worry about? Look at my jovial little jog through this beautiful little swamp It's so pretty There's a trap where Right here. Oh shit. It's a sheep. Uh A sheep. I got this talk to the sheep. Come on here sheep. What do you have to say to me? Animal handling let's go tell me about this place sheep Oh, it's 15 come on come on. You got it. You got it. Oh, maybe maybe oh god damn it. No Maybe it's just freaked out. No, I'm not using my inspiration on a sheep That sheep is mad. I'm gonna be able to talk to it. Let me let me try Never mind. What the fuck is wrong with this sheep? Well, the sheep sounds fine. What are you talking about? I'm gonna go talk to the next sheep. What is this sheep over here saying? That one looks wet Um, I get the feeling There's something wrong with these sheep No, the sheep. What do you what do you mean? So I've I've done this before in my games Where there was someone Uh, where were were my druids? Uh wanted to like sneak into a base with a wizard Uh And the wizard saw them as an animal and was like, oh, it's an animal I can ask this fucking animal like how things are so they just nonchalantly cast speak with animals And the player not knowing what to do instead of just answering the question normally They're all like, oh, um Ca I'm a crow So I feel like these are not sheep Well Uh, they I won't attack them because they haven't really done anything to me There's a sheep and I don't attack anything that doesn't bother me Yeah, before we keep going Yeah, I'm oh what I miss. I'm trying a bit. Uh, what's it called? Seems ganderl What's up ganderl? You catch a waft of something foul metallic and sickly sweet powdered iron vine Most monsters will think twice before making a meal of me An old hunter's trick if you can't mask your scent spoil it Who are you today? The same as you a humble supplicant come to bargain the lady of this house That is why you came to her there. I take it to bargain It's a tea house hardly a lair Not at all. I was invited for tea Actually, I'm just gonna ask why would you assume that you don't need to know my intentions Yeah, because this is her domain if you are here. It's because it suits her Her kind of hidden among us since the first darkness And their knowledge is matched only by their spite Know how to ask and they'll share that knowledge If you're full enough to pay their price A powerful friend a terrible foe that I cannot decide for you speak plainly. No No, he does it She can tell me how to flush him out I'll pay whatever price she asks Who's that you're hunting Bruh Bruh Wait, what are your bonuses? Oh, you have a really good persuasion. Maybe I can help you with your hunt Charming No, I don't need to charm him this time Transom I won't charm him because oh, you did it. Yep. Easy. No, this duty What? But for such an offer An answer at least is okay. I hunt a vampire spawn called a starry. Oh Mm-hmm. Is that so alive though? I cannot swear to his condition was my driver done with him Is he known to you? Stairs Stairs What does the tribe want with a creature like that people were recently attacked in the night Our camp set up on by a band of vampire spawn in the chaos of battle one of them stole away with our children We've been searching for them ever since We believe this astarian knows exactly what happened that night and where to find our little ones If captured my people will make him talk So I ask again Is he known to you? Oh, no Oh, no, I don't suppose you'll tell me where he is Tell him how to find your camp No I honestly don't know where he is as you say Then I must redouble my efforts and pray my delay costs no more lives Okay All right then I chose the diplomatic route I will now go to the starry and and get the information from him, which I will give back to this dude so that they leave each other alone Oh, yeah, that's probably a good idea Ooh tea house. Yeah, I can't wait for some tea. Look at the well. What about the well? There's a yummy well right here. What about it? It's cool. It's a well. I've seen a big hole in the ground Touch it No, you touch it first Okay, okay. I'll touch it first I don't know how wells work all of a sudden Right, right, right. Of course. I I do. I know how wells work. Should I well I can drink from it It's fresh sweet well and smelling water it gurgles gently below. I'm gonna drink it I love fresh sweet gurgly water Well Faster better Our work is never over Number 50 Oh, hey whopper whopper whopper your hit point maximum was increased by 10 until the next long rest Oh my god, that's amazing. I'm even more of a tank Oh, yeah Well time to go inside Hello, we're here Come back up make me get the wooden spoon you're eating for two so get to it Oh, hey, what's up? You took ages come in come in Feel free to relax yourself and patience Eat up marina I won't say it That's marina. I have some bad news for her Oh My god I'm going to say that fuck this old lady Plus 10 yo I'm plus 10 And I'm gonna charm her There's no way unless you roll two ones. Yeah easy easy clap down What Wait, what? What the fuck she just agreed to it Way with you Time in the cage Uh, I think she's gonna fight me I I'll kill an old lady She seems evil and I'm a good doer that's so loading Yes, I'm pretty nuts. Oh, what the fuck's happening. We'll see it soon. What the fuck? No the idyllic glen It's been transformed into the sheep They weren't sheep No, the sheep have nowhere to live Oh no She's got a wooden spoon. She's got a wooden spoon Oh my god, there she is Holy shit. She looks crazy. She looks insane. She's so cool Um, oh also you're nauseated gorfunky. You're you're your your benefit is not there at all Oh, no, that was yucky water Oh, there's fucking red caps. I knew there was something wait. Where oh, they're outside I I there we go. I was like I stayed outside so I can get a jump on these guys But it wasn't letting me do it the the sheep. I think are red caps Okay, so I'm gonna solve a problem that I anticipate immediately Yep. Yep What's that problem? Ah, a sound strategy You see except grandma Yankee and I are right next to her. Yes, but that is an issue for a different time Die red cap on her head. All right, we're doing great. Did that not hurt her? Um, I'll deal with this red cap. It's just one red cap. How hard can it be? I mean, he does have 58 health and they do a lot of damage because red caps have big boots It's just a red cap. How hard can it be? That's true. That's true. That's true Oh my god. Oh, she's she's she's like a chicken I I have the same boots. Oh my god, we match Oh, oh you saved there you go. Yeah, I'm saved because I can't be moved while I guess I'm concentrating or something. I don't know Yup. Yup. Yup. Yee Look, you guys are doing great. All I have to do is deal with the ads and you guys just deal with the big threats Perfect. Uh guys, hang on. I have to send a voice memo to my friends real quick. Just one second. What? Uh, we're arguing and I have to I don't want to type this out Okay, what are you doing? I think I could tell the difference between root beer comma a clear soda comma and any other soda period But they mostly all taste the same in those categories Oh, I can cast find familiar scratch. That's fun. I didn't even know I could do that I don't even know if he really does much, but yeah He scratches Magic missile No, not sleep not sleep magic missile Uh, I don't even know if I really want to do anything fancy on this guy because You might want to go Like help them out with the witch forever. No, no, no, no No, we're fine. We're doing great. If I go in there, you don't even do anything She sells friends cast it on her. Yep. Oh, wow. That's funny. If I go in there Uh, I will die. That is what I've learned. That's what this game has taught me Okay, that's true. That's true. I can try to go in there, but you can do that I'll handle this red cap. This is not okay. This is not an issue The bad guys tend to go is that reverie? power word kill The dm really has it out for you Is that daffy chappy? I use all five of my attacks on him. Jesus Christ Uh And your turn. No, I'm trying to figure out what I want to do. You know what? I'm just going to hit him Whatever attack a red cap Fine, I'll just hit him Is this what you wanted What a great turn that was I could have done something really cool and you never would have. Oh god damn My god, I'm right next to him and he's still attacking you Ace charm if you want to attack you now Also, you looked really awesome. Yeah, they like floating in the air because I'm god now Oh, because you're you charmed him because you'll still he'll get an attack of opportunity off me. Yeah, that's fun You're you're too thick I can't get to the witch this I guess I'll just kill him Yeah, just if we kill him together then it's done, but you Go ahead. I'm gonna miss you got it Oh nice. He's not charmed anymore. That's not. Oh the charm ended. That's fun. Yep I can charm him. Check it out What are you gonna do now anti ethyl? She's leaving. What a coward. What? Where'd she go? She went further into her lair Told her she could do that She's like talking through a door. She's like she teleports and goes Man anti ethyl is stupid Because she preserved her life No for talking for teleporting through a door and trying to talk through it. Yeah I'm just gonna end my turn. I think she's supposed to why are we still like in combat because anti ethyl hasn't left. Oh, all right. Well We did it guys. Good job We saved the city We clapped eyes on anti ethyl. What is she doing? I don't know Um, there are a metric fuck ton of health potions in here, so I'm gonna gather them all. I'm gonna go stealing Man We really did do a good thing today We really did we should follow her into her lair though Not before long rest though. I think because long rest we can't long rest talking about I have just took one Doesn't something did I thought you were out of oh, right? That's right. We did take I've got everything I forgot that we took a long rest right after the fight Yeah, I'm gonna go through her wardrobe I want to wear her doubloons Her doubloons her doubloons Her gold her piratey gold Guys I found like 14 butter buns We'll eat those for dinner Butter buns Shabby wardrobe. Oh, there's a potion of healing in here I found all her cutlery I'm Man, I can't wait for if it's a level Mm-hmm. What level are we at now for yeah? Okay, we're almost there once we hit fifth. I can just take a short rest here But I know that it might be in act three. I don't remember but I know there's a reference to I'll be on the witchlight somewhere There's an arcane barrier on that thing over there I don't know what it is. I don't know a thing if you press control right click you can ping it I won't do that Oh, shit. We can go through the thing Oh, shit. I walked down it. I did not mean to do that Well, that's fine. Let's go I was afraid I was going to trigger something. Yeah, I'm gonna save these guys close. Um, yeah. Oh, no, it's just a dark green cave It's probably a good reason Save and Uh, I'm gonna drink this potion as well just so that I don't have oh, yeah Bless health down down down by the river By my butthole, I'm uh, I'm gonna drink a potion of hill john's drink I think I found her. Oh, whoa Oh, she called you thick nice Forgive me. I'll leave right away My bad Well with a slice of lemon Yo, and then she just fucking leaves. She just creeps around. She's like She just gritty to the her way off screen Uh, who the fuck is magrin and what's with this head? I'm gonna search magrin Okay, wait. Why is she telling me about all of her exploits? Because she's sadistic Never fade. Oh that nausea is bad Bono wrote a psychic and acid damage. Yeah, it sucks Oh Oh, no, nothing I can do this Oh, you're bane. Why am I bane? Because you because you stopped her you must work with her things. Yeah You freed the you freed the spirit, but you uh Throw the skull Chuck it I can't be double-banned Double-bane Damn Oh, uh, do that one Davi, what are you doing? I was gonna throw Nothing, I was gonna do nothing Davi don't throw the skull Davi Oh, can't speak with dead on her. Can you she's blinded? Oh, she's the watery eye She regards you lifelessly And you can't speak with oh you are. Yeah. Why did you go to the to the hag? Oh, no, I just didn't see it Why did your family take your child? Okay, ominous Oh family portraits a guy is stoned literally I think the flute is funnier than this liar. Oh, I started a conversation somehow With a it's the door What? You know I can't even I'm not even in the conversation yet. Oh, there we go You feel crushing way presents within the door recoils people through not again No time to chat. I'm here to kill the hag In your mind and sunshine as the door shutters a warning. I can always just yeah, I could always just chop you down If I kill the hag, you'll be free. Oh one second Give me give me that guidance This poor door You see the hag She walks through the door It's form shimmering brushes your mind as the presence within retreats All right, let me see what the fuck is up with this guy now Is that a drow? Oh Or at least an oh Me and empath sensing that there's magic at work Hey, look at me. You're safe with me. I swear What are we doing? Yeah, Davey's still looking at the I just want to see this last one Oh, okay. She doesn't want to say what happened with that last guy. Okay. He's like, no Wait, I thought I convinced you to open up Davey. Oh, you didn't see yeah, he was in the there. Yeah Yeah, it's pretty crazy. Oh, I feel like the hag is like one of the best pieces of writing like in the game She's nuts. Oh Okay. All right. So these are just some people Yeah, I think we can take their masks. Oh, no, I think it kills them I think I think we just have to we can decide what to do with them to be honest We can try to knock them out Yeah, we can try to knock them out. Okay. I'm gonna try to go for I don't want to be first Yeah, when I'm first I die And they're like, oh your first initiative. So here I'm gonna I'm gonna fairy fire these two And then I'm going to oh my god. Is there another one above? No, it's you. That's me. Yeah I'm trying to save so that this guy doesn't this guy doesn't get a little pop off. Good luck guys. Bye Hmm if I can catch one on there. Oh, there was another one. There's a mask of terror. I didn't see them What did I say? What did I say? What did I say? Oh my fucking god, you're that missile. Oh It's so dumb All right. I can't get ridiculous. God damn it I'll blast him nice Uh Gonna have to oh, I guess I can I'm gonna have to get a healing word just for myself I know right So are we killing them or? Uh, we're knocking them out. I think yeah, non-lethal if you can grandma. Let's see. Let's do You can still do like lethal stuff to to soften them up. Yeah Or you can fail entirely Yep Oh my god What is chrism regret? Oh, you take psychic damage every turn. Oh, I'm crying. That sucks Hello Thanks for coming to me Why was I hit dabby's have dabby's having a really good time You're the only one that failed that psychic thing. It's a concentration. Everyone else. They're succeeded. Oh my god Okay. All right, cool. Um dabby's having a good time playing tactician. Yeah Yeah I don't know why they went after me. Are you the one is the mask of regret the one that cast that stupid spell? Yeah Yeah, uh, oh cool. I have a 16 chance to use it Oh nice I don't know if it's concentration though because it doesn't have a little symbol on her That's annoying In that case I'm going to Old person is at least that has a 40 percent Oh This has been a turn Oh, there we go. Oh now I can't do anything no longer frightened I have to deal damage in order to remove this condition. Oh, she's got like A vengeful oof. What's up? You have to deal damage. Yep. This is funny. Yep Moon beam one Oh my god Good Yay Hat idiot Don't curse him around now. You're regretful That's grandma Yankee. It's not even me. All right. It's it's just an extension of myself I feel nothing Oh my god, don't heal each other. It's the boon of servitude Stop servituting Wax That's fucking mean Oh my god 10. Oh my god. Good thing. I healed you. Yeah, right For 10 exactly for yeah for I think it was six and he's at six Oh, was it? I thought it was 10 Yo 45 chance because He Oh, yeah, do I can just not be useful here. I just need whispers could help me Okay, there you go. There you go. If I hit I'm golden Nice the curse of red is over. I'm going to leave now He's just I just head out All right, I'm a head out You're just like what's fun. You're like holding up your hand. It was it was cool. See ya Uh I need to seal a potion from somebody. Where are all those potions of healing that we got? Where are those? Oh, they're in mine. Um, I have two of the big ones if you want one Just go into my inventory with tab and right click it and drink it Oh, that feels so good delicious 16 hit points That this feels much better Yes With oh, I'm getting hit. So now feels better. Yes More specifically me not getting hit, but I'm focusing on you is No, no, no, you're right. You're right. You're right. You're 100% right being the tank Yeah, yeah, I would like to be the tank, please You wait can I actually idiot? Ow. Don't hit me. Actually, she didn't you missed fool Critical miss fool Nice hit. Oh, she did her save. Yeah Stop healing Oh Um, you uh Oops Well, I guess they're dying. Why does it say that the she still has five health points left though. Yeah, it does We should five Wait, just because we kill one we have to kill all of them. Yeah, the seal is broken That's it I try being good. Oh, I just realized I have a turn. Sorry Hey, this doesn't happen often you get to play the game Uh, let's see what I want to do dissonant whispers My whispers are dissonant They're dissonating That same Ow You were down Okay Nice that mask of regret is gonna come from the top rope Uh Man, I really can't do anything right now I can jump but average Davi experience. Yep That has moon beam, right? Uh, I'll get hurt if I go up there Thank you Yep, you just cast jump No, I just jumped. Oh, you have a super jump. Okay. He did casted jump. I casted a jump Nice What does that wisdom say for Uh, whether they attack or not Oh, they are they're trying to not be cursed by the had Okay The mask that they have is what's controlled. I have a I have a 4% chance of hitting Oh He was really only telling me that I had a chance because it wanted to remind me of what I didn't have Uh, I'm mostly fine. Honestly, I'm gonna I'm just gonna vicious mockery this one person because why not there you go Oh Nice Feculent beast you are a feculent beast Move right here. This guy right here feculent What a beast All right Well, he did not like that you called him that God damn it. Your fucking profile picture every time that comes up It looks like you're screaming in fear Oh, I look like I am the thing to be fearful of I would still make me jump through the moon beam Do it Howard hang on I've I've got an idea check this out. Well, I'm gonna jump through the moon beam anyway I moved the moon beam. Yeah. No, I was it's still gonna go through but check it out. Call it a move beam Oh my god Hello What a jump Nice Parish grandma Yankee's elder blast for some reason Hey, I was playing something How dare you We've done it team All right, this is a little cheesy. Oh someone died Grandma Yankee's dying grandma Yankee's fine. Grandma Yankee's fine. She's she fell. It's her arthritis She's gonna fall again. So let's get ready to help. Uh, let me wear those this withering We wear this withering mask No, no, no. Well, yeah, put it on put it on put it on. No, no, no I was gonna say this is why why not? Why not? But we could leave the area and take a short rest before we keep going Why don't we just take a short rest now? Are we not able to we can't Not now on the map is red. Oh, did we we took a short rest. Yeah Then why is grandma Yankee still dying because she was uh had that curse Okay, well never mind then cool These guys suck. They didn't have anything cool on them. Yeah Laying at my most careful. I'm still I'm still reduced to like a third of my health Yeah That was insane It doesn't help that because I'm also the conversation list. I usually end up being the one like In front of first. Yeah When the fighting starts Well, here we go. Let's go. We need to get you a misty step I don't think we get I don't do I get it No, but there are magic items that there are ways to get it. Yep Like the what gore funky who currently has it? From a necklace that he doesn't use. Oh my god I'm gonna cry Okay, okay. Okay. Okay. Don't worry. I found the trap. Okay. This is this this part This part is nuts. This part is stupid and ridiculous to try to get through. Okay. Here's what we're gonna do Here's what we're gonna do. Okay, somebody's casting featherfall and we are jumping past this shit because it is annoying as hell All right, somebody's casting it. I don't know who has it, but somebody Has it grandma Yankee has to have me. Okay, grandma Yankee's fucking casting that shit because we are not dealing with that Just show me where to jump Okay, we're gonna have to do this. We're gonna have to we're gonna have to go turn based Because it's gonna get really weird. Um, okay featherfall basically Follow me Okay, okay got it. Mm-hmm. I don't think you went where you were supposed to but that's fine No, I'm good Grandma will you just jump? Oh, she doesn't have a bonus action Yeah, I think she used the Davi you did not follow me exactly you jumped into noxious fumes As one does as one does Okay, follow me Exactly exactly as you do exactly as I do Or as tune thick does Bye. Oh my god, so many failures. I'm just kidding You're fine. Um, we might be good. Uh, I need grandma Yankee to get down here though Oh, whoops Oh, yeah, thank you. Sorry You're good. Yeah Okay, come on grandma do a little jumpy jump Why do you not have movements? All right, grandma her her ankle got sprained Okay, she's dead. Okay, cool Ow the fumes I see what you meant when you said that this is that this shit sucks. Yeah Yeah, it's bad if we try to walk through it normally It's bad already It's it's bad. Just like this. It is worse if we don't do this. Yeah. All right, grandma Yankee your last deeter deeter God give it. That's my bad. He died again. God damn it. I can get her. I can get her. I can barter conspirator My hit points What why do I go forward? It's board of inspiration. What are you doing? You helped her instead of Look at the only thing that my game has selected you can play it back run it back Damn, I think I was throwing health potions. They weren't even going to to me. So, okay Enter deeter God damn it I'm just gonna end my turn preemptively Good. Uh, we can we can get off a turnbade mode. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Okay. I'm gonna short rest right now Cool. Go song of rest. I'm gonna do that as well so that grandma Yankee's not a half health. Yeah, it's that's fair. That's fair You might also want to save right here Oh, I feel wonderful. We are all good to go Yeah, and then do a little do a cheeky drop a save Let's kick her ass Oh It stopped her being a cast There we have feather fall again. Bye ritual. All right, go go forward. Yeah Let me talk to her. Let me talk to her. She'll listen to me I just want to talk to her Die in a fire hag. I hope that she's not I hope that she's not trying to be invisible because I'm gonna suck for her She does try to be invisible. So it's really good. You've had your eye plucked out Yeah, well You're ugly Okay, so there were three of those things There were three there were three things there I feel like one of them was worse than the other three My bones getting sucked bad Blood being used to spice stew bad my spine or through my arsehole That sounds really bad What are you doing? I was trying to get a better eye go He's just walking around. She's got a high magic defense friends. I'm in trouble What if I break the what if I break the gnarled cage? I think marina will fall and die and die. Yeah I think there is a lever. I think we this orb will get her down But what if breaker cage? I mean, why not? If you want to do it go ahead, we're just telling you what's gonna happen. Okay. All right. So here's my plan I'm gonna hit her with fairy fire, right? Okay. Okay. Okay. It's good. It's a good plan You say you also hit the cage with fairy fire. That's pretty cool. That makes me hit it better Is she affected? No Then I'm gonna run the fuck away And hope that she does not have eldritch blast I'm symbiotic All magic missile the cage Um grandma, why don't you just do some missiles I mean to be fair. We had her pretty much dead the first time It's true. Yeah, we'll get her. We'll get her like now Oh, uh-oh Oh, no, that's not good. Okay. You gotta get the orb. I can fix this. Don't worry about this Uh, I can't reach the orb, but I can do this Uh, I can't find it, but I can do this Can you jump to it? Nope. I can do this. What are you doing? Calm down. What are you? Oh That was really smart. Well, then that was cool You doubted me. I was like, what are you about to do? Uh, that's all I can really do for movement. I was certainly worried as well Oh, wait, I could do a push. Uh Now just a mid turn I'm gonna push into speed, but I don't want to be lethargic in the middle of this fight Push into speed is a good though. Okay You know what? I like that push into speed time I'm gonna fuck this hag up I'm gonna um Oh my god 30 percent to hit. This is terrible Yeah, mine's 25 percent. It's really bad Uh, I'm just gonna try to hit her with another fairy fire, but also hopefully not hit you with a fairy fire Bonk Nice I got her. Nice. Nice. Take that mood, you idiot. Onty Ethel is not that smart I still can't beat her I'm gonna try to get this Nice Hello, I think it's gonna go just give it a oh, it's not gonna it's gonna go on her turn. Got it. Okay I'm getting closer to grandma Ethel Anty Ethel Anty Ethel Yeah, she's only an onty. She's not a grandma. That means she didn't go down. She's not nearly like She's not as powerful yet She's not a grandma level. Oh, that's actually true. That is how hags work. Oh, okay These stupid hag Go fire shot. Pew. Nice. She's you got her. I got her gaping. Let's go It's all coming up chappy now Stupid Oh, we're doing fat. We're doing amazing. Oh my god. Why can I not get to her? I don't have any jump jump. Yeah, but okay, that's fine Uh, why didn't her cage come down though? Whatever I don't know questions for another time if she falls. She falls. I mean if she dies We already killed the only people who would care Cool, I guess that's true She'll lately I'm gonna I'm a double bonk. Watch this Nice another track. Oh, she's ensnared sweet Oh, that's actually really good. Oh my god. Okay, so I'm gonna move a little closer Suddenly she's just broken free of ensnaring comes right for me Yeah, just make teleports to you. You're dead Okay, she's crits. She divine smites for some reason She's a paladin like warlock. I just want to say this fight is normally much more difficult I don't know what we're doing. I feel like it's moonbeam But there or it's the fact that you have seen visibility But this fight is what she'll do is she does this thing where she splits wait, let me get her and she I want her fucking to hit face Yeah, she she will she'll become like three versions of herself And all three versions can cast her spells and then she's invisible and you have to find the real one She's just not doing that. I don't know what's going on Just chose not to Gorky Gorky, can you move to the left a little bit because I am I I am I am Uh, uh, lethargic you can you can just do it. Just hit me What no, no, no. Oh, I wasn't gonna do that, but uh Sure. Yeah, I'll I'll I'll cast right through you. I just die Try not to hit both of you and Bye Nice nice Yeah, you did cast right through me Potion of invisibility why are you talking to me coral on grace a Is it because I let her down What are you? Yeah, you should uh, you should listen in on gore funke's uh, not gore funke Fucking chun thing conversation Let's crying more gold, please That would have been foolish Why the hell did you ever consider that I mean no when you're done whining That is true so little what hags will do is they'll eat a baby and then they will like They will have a child themselves that is a hag Yeah, and well, it's when the um, and then yeah, and then when the child turns the child's normal Yeah, until they turn 13 and then when they turn 13 they become a hag You are vulnerable she took advantage Which is really cool by the way Neat piece of lore. Yeah, I really like hag lore Oh, thank you. Thank you. Sol galvez the witch hunt is gracey approved. Thank you very much for the $10 Super shout-out thing It's a super chat. It's a super chat Should I take the locket? Uh, yes, of course why not better than nothing I suppose I'll just sell it Mm-hmm. I should take him home His coffin is just upstairs Adisa burial. He's the least I can give him Thank you Yeah, I don't think there's anyone else. I think grandma yankee and marina have the same hair She's seasoned to her future. Oh solid. Yeah, wait With dead on the hag Oh, but you might want to disguise. Yeah, let me transform. Yeah He's like, uh, who are you? How did you die? Fucking That is so weird though. She didn't even do the like midway thing that she's supposed to do That's a that was wild. She just she just took all that damage because if you get her down low enough She will be like, wait, don't kill me. I have a deal for you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's crazy Okay, why is this the person you're playing as look amazing? What did why did she say kill them kill them all because I guess that was the first question I asked Where do you keep your valuables? Are you the only hag around here? That's cool Why did you want me rina the game saves right after that? It's like, all right, you talked to her. That's good That's amazing Try to break the cage No, you made it fall a little bit You made it kind of twitch Oh silven stones. What the heck are these? Oh for alchemy later Essence of silven stone alchemy now No There's a bunch of weird shit in here Letter from ethyl Oh god blotches of ink That's too many things It's the ever-seeing eye. What did I just pick up? Oh, that's her token or something protection from evil and good. It's an abduration Staff of the crow I'll give that to grammy yankee that she's probably the only one that could really use that Yeah Oh, these are probably that's what it is. Oh, yeah, these are letters to the other two sisters in her coven Yeah, that's pretty cool. Yeah, yeah, because I I found it I took a screenshot of it one time and I finally found it. There is a um There's a potion you can make later in the game It's not now called hag's bane and the flavor text on it says in the land of prismere where fair sabilna rains They had their share of hag trouble. Oh, yes, they had it in spades Oh, and I saw that and I was like I'm so cool I'm about to run another uh widely on the witch lit campaign Very very soon like anybody I have never run it. We're like almost done with it though We've been playing it for since like january. Um, it's very cool I have I've added a lot to it to like give it a very otherworldly feel One of the one of the main things that I've done that that's that's pretty substantial is uh You cannot You never fall asleep in the Feywild I've kind of like I've changed it into a into kind of like a world of dreams So like you know, oh, that's cool Yeah, so so because you're dreaming the whole way through everybody refers to you as a dreamer and everybody For some like it feels like everybody knows a little bit more about you than you should because they're just you know dreams Uh, so like they'll they'll mention weird shit about you that people a stranger shouldn't know But also You cannot fall asleep in the Feywild. So instead of uh, like taking a long rest whenever There are potions of long rest and anybody will trade it with you. You just have to you know, give something up Depending on where you're from. Yeah. All right. What's this mushroom circle? I'm gonna touch it Because um My buddy colton is running it and like he's doing a great job with it Like it the game's a lot of fun Even if it's just kind of default but and obviously those ideas are really cool But so far the thing that I think has tripped us up the most about the adventure that isn't even really him It's just the adventure itself. Right is that like multiple times along the way to going to prism here You're like told to be like, okay, here are the laws of the Feywild These are the laws of the Feywild and then you you get there and obviously the laws of the Feywild are Kind of out of whack because you know the hags are in control and Zabilna is gone But there's I and so I don't really do this But my other my other friends try to use the laws of the Feywild and like nobody really like they don't really get you much And most of the time it feels like colton's like, oh, yeah, I did tell you that this was a thing and I should probably honor it Um here they'll do this for you and it's like kind of weird that the game told you like a million times about this thing And it doesn't really matter. Yeah, like this so far. That is the only thing that I've been like, huh strange But the rest of it is great. I think the um the soggy court was I love the soggy court fucking funny. Oh my god. It was so good Those heads on spikes. That was so funny I found a wand. I think I can resurrect your husband. Wait, did I? Yeah I I picked it up when you guys were starting to leave Okay Yeah Well, let's find out That is a crazy looking wand Yeah, that seems real fucking evil. I am ready for this necromancy Wow, her husband's name is coming Oh my god, you could just snap it in half. Yeah, Al kazoo. Alakazam. You are now a zombie man I wanted to boy Hey, hey, hey monster fuckers rejoice The creature It's yearning The creature's matter this one how useful hold on maybe stop Well right now he's a zombie we can always bury him again No, no, this is your husband. Do you want him or not? Me too though some some mornings I want to get rid of the one I want to give her the one so she can become a powerful necromancer. This is her origin This is her origin story. He looks really cool right there for some reason Yes I guess you I saved your life. What the fuck do you mean? I guess. All right, she's dead. Wait, wait, wait, the zombie's saying something He's The amount of fucking longevity we've gotten out of that one stupid I think it's the way he says it so like Um, uh, like like I can't I can't like put my finger on it. He says it like Like under a tone like he's like he's like it's subdued Like he's like There's still a mission here. What the fuck tea. I don't I don't you know, I tea house tea house quest. What is it? Hmm Um, you're supposed to tea the house. No, I don't know if that's true What if I grabbed the tea from the fireplace joint? Did that do anything? Oh, what if all the people down there are fixed? All the sheep. Yeah, yeah, let's actually check that I'm gonna guess that the sheep were So I'm gonna guess they were red caps here. Yeah, I guess they were all red caps And if they're red caps then they were working with her Yeah, because red caps generally like to work with hags And they like to have uh the they like to have their dock martins Those big old shoes. It was big old fucking shoes. You stop looking at me with them big old eyes I talked to magran said The dwarf is not petrified anymore. I don't think Gore funky. No, gore funky. No, I mean No Don't touch him I'm wave-dashing for how much Because I saved you you're welcome He struck a heel with the hag didn't you? I was sick real sick the hag petrified me to stop it spreading. Well, I have good news He doesn't even feel great. He feels great Bard that's neat Uh, I could roll arcana, but I'm gonna do bard I'm just guessing I didn't make any roll for that. I just decided to say that Yeah, you just perpetuated a narrative. Yeah, I I I mean being a bard I'm almost impressed. That's evil even by a hexander Hopefully they've been hopefully they've grown children disgusting No, I'm gonna focus on the positive correct. I see you've got a chain shirt See you've got a chain I've got no way to repay you Oh the door is open forever now the door is just gone. We talked to this guy. We deleted it I need to figure out what Lauren's deal was he's dead. You're safe now Hells The things she did things she made me do you talk about made you do you were just quivering Disgusting you're a quiver Not if I can help it. No, I saved your life. Be grateful You're covered in blood and gall vomiting and then Your skull splits open that thing bursts out of you and then you're You're screaming I still hear it Still see your eyes go dead. No, they are not a mortal Indian. Uh, actually, I shouldn't say that They can be most it depends on how strong they are. It might be But it's never been wrong Not once. Oh, that's good I'm so sorry. Can't stay You're too dangerous But I hope I only hope it's a quick death Uh, it's actually kind of the opposite. So Uh, if you if you're immortal, no, no, no, sorry. I was responding to somebody in my chat saying that uh, they are uh Immortal in the Feywild. So like If you kill a fey in the material plane and it's not using something like cold iron They'll just pop back into the Feywild and that's why they're so jovial and don't give a shit Uh, that makes sense But then if you kill them in the Feywild they die Devils are the same way. Yeah. Yeah, it devils are the exact same way. Instead of being jovial. They're just ass hats They're just like they talk about fucking Down comes the claw I like running them kind of like edgy 13 year olds were like when they're about to die. They're like, dude, this fucking sucks That's so good. Oh, I have to walk all the way back I'm gonna get bit shot by cereal Uh, who's this? Oh, is that frog? Yeah, that's an adult frog. What's up adult frog? What's going on? Frog Thank you frog Happy Glad I could help Calm Come Present Jesus Christ every time you jump Flying away frog come to me Come barb to me Maples. Oh secret thing. Hey shovel this up Okay, uh, get to work. I think there's just a pouch there. Oh, it's a pouch. Yeah, just grab the pouch Golden some scrolls. Good job Thank you, adult frog Yeah Scroll of shatter and scroll of burning hands All right, we should probably call it here. Yeah, that was a very good frog. This was a very good That was a great frog. Let me save quite the session. Yeah, let me just go through our uh Our our our yeah our manual saves this time. We have uh draw ragslin unconscious bear unconscious bear Uh goblins I gore Oh god. Damn. I gore cocked Hag fight. Let's kick her ass And finally I was never a lower barred. I love that one. I was never a lower barred. I was frog happy All right. Well, that's the end of the stream. Thanks to everybody who joined in Thank you to everybody who has been watching. Thanks for everybody who stuck around at 1 49 a.m Oh, it's 10 49 a.m. Uh, actually it's 1 a.m. a.m Oh, Jacob Even it's 10 49 p.m. Even when you're wrong, you can't be right I know I'm never am Just just consistent in my wrongness. Good night, everybody. We'll see you all