 It's all okay as long as you can achieve The outcome, you know, there's a whole school of philosophy and in a you know going back to Dewey right those whole school of pragmatism right, which basically says You know if you can get away with it, whatever you can whatever will it get you to your goal. That's okay and Self-interest when you talk about people being self-interested when we talk about being people being selfish That's the kind of image we have because when you say to somebody you're selfish. Do you mean that as a compliment? No, you mean that as a derogatory term when we look at somebody and say that person's selfish What do we mean by that? We mean he's a what? What yeah, but what do we mean by that? What kind of behavior is he exhibiting when we say that what's that? Do we really mean he's being successful He's a taker. He's a you know mean lying Cheating stealing would stab you in the back if he thought he could get away with it. That's what we mean by it But what a selfish as a would actually mean what does the term mean? Yeah taking care of self Taking care of self Which is what you all here to do to take care of yourself to make your lives better To improve your diet improve your physique I mean this is one of the few self-help kind of conferences that he has a kind of philosophical component to it But you're here to make your lives better and yet that term making your life better Being selfish is associated with all this garbage Backstabbing lying stealing cheating whatever it takes right the symbol of being selfish today in America is Booty made off You know Bernie made of us Permit scheme guy, you know 50 billion dollars So the notion is that selfish and then this is how words work. This is our concept to a selfish IE taking care of self equals Bernie made of Who wants to take care of themselves if you're gonna be Bernie made of that sucks? I mean we all know he's an evil criminal. He's a bad guy. Nobody so Even so we've got Christianity over here telling you take care of yourself only for the purpose of helping other people and that sounds like a Conflicting contradictory message. It's not just Christianity. Everybody says that right? It's secular philosophy Everybody gives that kind of advice and then over here is yeah, but what selfish really means is Bernie made off So I don't want to quite live for the people I kind of want to make myself better for myself, but I don't want to be Bernie made off either and It's a contradiction And this is where I think a proper understanding of what self-interest means and what it requires and what it takes is Necessary if you're gonna take on the responsibility of making yourself the best that you can be Because The psychological traps that are involved in both of these are gonna undercut you constantly so if you believe that Mother Teresa that giving up everything and going and living for the people that's a moral ideal now We don't really want to do that because we like our lives and life's too good to actually do that and dating and stuff like that She had no sex and everything right. I mean it kind of sucks being mother Teresa, but she's a moral ideal It does I mean and she and you read her diary She was miserable miserable miserable miserable. She she had a horrible life But that's okay because she did it in order to be miserable. That was her goal Right because happiness is selfish if that's how I'm all ideal and Yeah, we're living this life of sex on money and doing well and happiness What are we gonna feel if we want to be mother Teresa? But we know we can never achieve that if we know that's what good means, but we know will never be good What is that? What does that lead to a feeling inside? What kind of feeling starts with a G? Yeah guilt And so many people are guilty out there so many people do not succeed in life They're not attain their values do not pursue their own Values and when they pursue them when they're successful, they don't enjoy it. You know how many rich people are Unhappy Lots of rich people unhappy lots of people who you know What was it a hot wife and money and I can't remember the third one, but you know Retain those things right, but they don't it's meaningless to them because they feel guilty about so Guilt kills you and what this you know what this? Religious base, but it's also secular and everything this idea of living for the people Generates and people trying to pursue self-help is guilt and that's why so many self-help programs in my view fail It's because what are the what are we leading to you're not gonna help other people by helping yourself? That's not can't be the purpose. That's contradiction and This notion that you can do whatever you feel like doing can lead you easily to Bunny made off and is that happy is burning me happy Now he's in jail not very happy place His son committed suicide because of what he did a year after when he made up was arrested his son committed suicide I can't think a more horrific thing to happen to a human being than to know that you caused the death of your own child Your behavior, but even before he was caught you think he was happy. How many of you have ever lied? Yeah, you can be honest For a change you can be honest Lies that the lies make you feel good Do they do they help you actually achieve talk about relationships? Do you think that you can have a healthy relationship with a woman? by lying to her Do you think that leads to good stuff? I mean lying just doesn't work. It sucks. It really is a bad strategy for success It doesn't work in the workplace. It doesn't work with relationships It doesn't work the worst kind of lies the worst by far kind of lies is when you like the room Yourself it completely screws you up So the bunny made of strategy doesn't work if you want to pursue yourself So bunny made off was a miserable pathetic human being him and mother Teresa, right? That's true He was miserable pathetic before he was caught He says today that he's happy in jail than before he was caught and I believe him Because he doesn't have to lie anymore. Line makes you miserable So this doesn't lead to happiness this do whatever you feel like doing, you know, whatever This doesn't make you happy because you're always gonna feel guilty because you're not actually pursuing other people's well-being You're trying to make yourself better. It's a no-win situation Of course, you need new strategies for self-help all the time because there's no way to get out of this trap well, there is and Eric started to talk about it and I think it's it's iron-ren's idea of what morality is really about what goodness what righteousness with virtue is really about and It's not about other people When people tell you your purpose in life should be to help other people the real question to ask them is very simple three letters It's why and there's never any answer Why should I help other people? Why should my purpose in life be to serve others? Why is because somebody said so that's the only answer that exists But the real question is, you know, you all will all living beings We're all living beings individual living beings What should be our purpose as a living being? What is the purpose of every living being? There are no plants in this room would have pointed to a plant, but you know What a what a plants try to do you ever had a plant? I hope you have plants life is good, right all life Plants you put you put a plant in a shade. What does it try to do? Try to grow to what's all right. Why what's it? What's it pursuing? What's it trying to attain? Life it wants to live it's trying to figure out trying to get the value That is acquired for its life. What is the value in this case light?