 47 Blockhead Haunts Far away in the country lay an old manor-house where lived an old squire who had two sons. They thought themselves so clever, that if they had known only half of what they did know, it would have been quite enough. They both wanted to marry the king's daughter, for she had proclaimed that she would have for her husband the man who knew best how to choose his words. Both prepared for the wooing a whole week, which was the longest time allowed them. But after all, it was quite long enough, for they both had preparatory knowledge, and everyone knows how useful that is. One knew the whole Latin dictionary, and also three years issue of the daily paper of the town off by heart, so that he could repeat it all backwards or forwards as you pleased. The other had worked at the laws of corporation, and knew by heart what every member of the corporation ought to know, so that he thought he could quite well speak on state matters and give his opinion. He understood besides this how to embroider braces with roses and other flowers, and scrolls, for he was very ready with his fingers. I shall win the king's daughter! They both cried. Their old father gave each of them a fine horse. The one who knew the whole dictionary and the daily paper by heart had a black horse, while the other one who was so clever at corporation law had a milk-white one. Then they oiled the corners of their mouths, so that they might be able to speak more fluently. All the servants stood in the courtyard, and saw them mount their steeds, and here by chance came the third brother, for the squire had three sons, but nobody counted him with his brothers, for he was not so learned as they were, and he was generally called Blockhead Hans. Oh! Oh! said Blockhead Hans! Where are you off to? You are in your Sunday best clothes! We are going to court to woo the princess! Don't you know what is known throughout all the countryside? And they told him all about it. Hurrah! I'll go too! cried Blockhead Hans, and the brothers laughed at him and rode off. Dear father! cried Blockhead Hans, I must have a horse, too! What a desire for marriage has seized me! If she will have me, she will have me, and if she won't have me, I will have her. Stop that nonsense! said the old man. I will not give you a horse, you can't speak! You don't know how to choose your words. Your brothers! Ah! they are very different lads! Well! said Blockhead Hans, if I can't have a horse, I will take the goat which is mine, he can carry me! And he did so. He sat astride on the goat, struck his heels into its side, and went rattling down the high road like a hurricane. Huffity! Huff! What a ride! Here I come! shouted Blockhead Hans, singing so that the echoes were roused far and near. But his brothers were riding slowly in front. They were not speaking, but they were thinking over all the good things that they were going to say, for everything had to be thought out. Hello! bawled Blockhead Hans, here I am! Just look what I found on the road! And he showed them a dead crow which he had picked up. Blockhead! said his brothers. What are you going to do with it? With the crow? I shall give it to the princess! Do so, certainly! they said, laughing loudly and riding on. Slap! Bang! Here I am again! Look what I have just found! You don't find such things every day on the road! And the brothers turned round to see what in the world he could have found. Blockhead! said they. That is an old wooden shoe without the top! Are you going to send that, too, to the princess? Of course I shall, returned Blockhead Hans. And the brothers laughed and rode on a good way. Slap! Bang! Here I am! cried Blockhead Hans. Better and better! It is really famous! What have you found now? asked the brothers. Oh! said Blockhead Hans. It is really too good! How pleased the princess will be! Why? said the brothers. This is pure mud, straight from the ditch! Of course it is, said Blockhead Hans. And it is the best kind! Look how it runs through one's fingers! And so saying, he filled his pocket with the mud. But the brothers rode on so fast the dust and sparks flew all around, and they reached the gate at the town a good hour before Blockhead Hans. Here came the suitors, numbered according to their arrival, and they were ranged in rows, six in each row, and they were so tightly packed that they could not move their arms. This was a very good thing, for otherwise they would have torn each other in pieces, merely because the one was in front of the other. All the country people were standing round the king's throne, and were crowded together in thick masses almost out of the windows to see the princess receive the suitors. And as each one came into the room all his fine phrases went out like a candle. It doesn't matter, said the princess, away out with him. At last she came to the row in which the brother who knew the dictionary by heart was, but he did not know it any longer. He had quite forgotten it in the rank and file. And the floor creaked, and the ceiling was all made of glass mirrors so that he saw himself standing on his head, and by each window were standing three reporters and an editor, and each of them was writing down what was said to publish it in the paper that came out and was sold at the street corners for a penny. It was fearful, and they had made up the fire so hot that it was grilling. It is hot in here, isn't it? said the suitor. Of course it is. My father is roasting young chickens today, said the princess. Ha-ha! There he stood, like an idiot. He was not prepared for such a speech. He did not know what to say, although he wanted to say something witty. Ha-hem! It doesn't matter, said the princess. Take him out. And out he had to go. Now the other brother entered. How hot it is, he said. Of course. We are roasting young chickens today, remarked the princess. How do you um— He said, and the reporters wrote down. How do you um— It doesn't matter, said the princess. Take him out. Now blockhead Hans came in. He rode his goat right into the hall. I say! How roasting hot it is here, said he. Of course. I am roasting young chickens today, said the princess. That's good, replied blockhead Hans. Then can I roast a crow with them? With the greatest of pleasure, said the princess. But have you anything you can roast them in? For I have neither pot nor saucepan. Oh, rather, said blockhead Hans. Here is a cooking implement with tin rings. And he drew out the old wooden shoe and laid the crow in it. That is quite a meal, said the princess. But where shall we get the soup from? I've got that in my pocket, said blockhead Hans. I have so much that I can quite well throw some away. And he poured some mud out of his pocket. I like you, said the princess. You can answer, and you can speak, and I will marry you. But do you know that every word which we are saying and have said has been taken down, and will be in the paper tomorrow? By each window do you see there are standing three reporters and an old editor. And this old editor is the worst, for he doesn't understand anything. But she said this to tease blockhead Hans. And the reporters giggled, and each dropped a blot of ink on the floor. Ah, are those the great people, said blockhead Hans. Then I will give the editor the best. So saying, he turned his pockets inside out, and threw the mud right in his face. That was neatly done, said the princess. I couldn't have done it, but I will soon learn how to. Blockhead Hans became king, got a wife, and a crown, and sat on the throne. And this we have still damped from the newspaper of the editor and the reporters. And they are not to be believed for a moment. End of CHAPTER 47 A story about a darning needle. There was once a darning needle, who thought herself so fine that she believed she was an embroidery needle. Take great care to hold me tight, said the darning needle to the fingers who were holding her. Don't let me fall. If I once fall on the ground I shall never be found again I am so fine. It is all right, said the fingers, seizing her round the waist. Look, I am coming with my train, said the darning needle as she drew a long thread after her. But there was no knot at the end of the thread. The fingers were using the needle on the cook's shoe. The upper leather was unstitched and had to be sewn together. This is common work, said the darning needle. I shall never get through it. I am breaking! I am breaking! And in fact she did break. Didn't I tell you so? said the darning needle. I am too fine. Now she is good for nothing, said the fingers, but they had to hold her tight while the cook dropped some sealing wax on the needle and stuck it in the front of her dress. Now I am a breastpin, said the darning needle. I always knew I should be promoted. When one is something, one will become something. And she laughed to herself, you can never see when a darning needle is laughing. Then she sat up as proudly as if she were an estate coach and looked all round her. May I be allowed to ask if you are gold? She said to her neighbor, the pin, you have a very nice appearance and a peculiar head, but it is so small. You must take pains to make it grow for it is not everyone who has a head of sealing wax. And so saying the darning needle raised herself up so proudly that she fell out of the dress right into the sink, which the cook was rinsing out. Now I am off on my travels, said the darning needle. I do hope I shan't get lost. She did indeed get lost. I am too fine for this world, said she as she lay in the gutter, but I know who I am and that is always a little satisfaction. The darning needle kept her proud bearing and did not lose her good temper. All kinds of things swam over her, shavings, bits of straw, and scraps of old newspapers. Just look how they sail along, said the darning needle. They don't know what is underneath them. Here I am sticking fast. There goes a shaving thinking of nothing in the world but of itself, a mere chip. There goes a straw. Well, how it does twist and twirl to be sure. Don't think so much about yourself or you will be knocked against a stone. There floats a bit of newspaper. What is written on it is long ago forgotten, and yet how proud it is. I am sitting patient and quiet. I know who I am and that is enough for me. One day something thick lay near her which glittered so brightly that the darning needle thought it must be a diamond, but it was a bit of bottle-glass, and because it sparkled the darning needle spoke to it and gave herself out as a breast-pin. No doubt you are a diamond. Yes, something of that kind, and each believed that the other was something very costly and they both said how very proud the world must be of them. I have come from a lady's work-box, said the darning needle, and this lady was a cook. She had five fingers on each hand, anything so proud as these fingers I have never seen, and yet they were only there to take me out of the work-box and to put me back again. Were they of noble birth, then, asked the bit of bottle-glass? Of noble birth, said the darning needle, no indeed, but proud they were five brothers, all called fingers. They held themselves proudly one against the other, although they were of different sizes. The outside one, the thumb, was short and fat. He was outside the rank, and had only one bend in his back, and could only make one bow, that if he were cut off from a man that he was no longer any use as a soldier. Dip into everything, the second finger dipped into sweet things as well as sour things, pointed to the sun and the moon, and guided the pen when they wrote. Long man, the third, looked at the others over his shoulder. Gold-band the fourth had a gold sash around his waist, and little playman did nothing at all and was the more proud. There was too much ostentation, so I came away. And now we are sitting and shining here, said the bit of bottle-glass. At that moment more water came into the gutter, it streamed over the edges and washed the bit of bottle-glass away. Ah, now he has been promoted, said the darning needle. I remain here, I am too fine. But that is my pride, which is a sign of respectability. And she sat there, very proudly, thinking lofty thoughts. I really believe I must have been born a sun-beam I am so fine. It seems to me as if the sun-beams are always looking under the water for me. Ah, I am so fine that my own mother cannot find me. If I had my old eye which broke off, I believe I could weep, but I can't. It is not fine to weep. One day two street urchins were playing and waiting in the gutter, picking up old nails, pennies and such things. It was rather dirty work, but it was a great delight to them. Oh, oh! cried out one as he pricked himself with the darning needle. He is a fine fellow, though. I am not a fellow, I am a young lady, said the darning needle. But no one heard. The sealing wax had gone and she had become quite black. But black makes one look very slim, and so she thought she was even finer than before. Here comes an eggshell sailing along, said the boys, and they stuck the darning needle into the eggshell. The walls white and eye black, what a pretty contrast it makes, said the darning needle. Now I can be seen to advantage. If only I am not seasick, I should give myself up for lost. Because she was not seasick, and did not give herself up. It is a good thing to be steeled against seasickness. Here one has indeed an advantage over man. Now my qualms are over. The finer one is the more one can beat. Crack, said the eggshell, as a wagon-wheel went over it. Oh, how it presses, said the darning needle. I shall indeed be seasick now. I am breaking. But she did not break. Until the wagon-wheel went over her, she lay there at full length, and there she may lie.