 the narcissist can't stand it when you do this of course there are a lot of things that narcissist can't stand but you will have noticed something by the way that they treat you by the things that they're implying and how they are trying to push you in a certain direction they're trying to take you off your path they're trying to lead you astray and what they're really trying to do is they're trying to get you to abandon your own identity to abandon your core values beliefs and principles the things that you believe in the things that you are passionate about yeah they just want you to give all of that up and follow their leads and just adopt these values that they give to you because they can't stand it when you have your own values and beliefs these things that you believe in these passions and interests that are separate from them these the reason why they don't because they feel like you have to remember they don't care about you living a progressive and productive life they only care about themselves they only care about their feelings and they care about power and control so all they really want to do is gain power over you they want to continue to control you they really couldn't care less about anything else so your separate opinions and beliefs your values the things that you believe in the things that you stand for all of these things that doesn't really mean anything to the narcissist in fact all they see it as is an inconvenience it's an obstacle that they have to get around to be able to control you and secure you that's all they see it as it's just something that's in their way they're not concerned about it any deeper than that it doesn't even mean anything to them because you have to remember that they're all about themselves they're all about what they want and what they want is power and control so they know that what they have to do is they have to strip you of whatever it is that you're passionate about whatever you believe in they have to strip you of these things so that they can then establish an authoritative position over you where they can tell you what to believe in they can tell you what is right and wrong they can tell you what to do because the way it works is someone who is confident and self assured they know what they want they know what they believe in a person like that is very difficult for a narcissist to break down so whatever means the most to you whatever you like and whatever eats away at the core of your heart whatever irritates you the most whatever really gets to you bothers you whatever you're passionate about whatever you believe in whatever you stand for that is going to be the greatest opposition to them being able to control you so they've got to break that down first they have to tear that apart because these beliefs and opinions that you have and that you hold firmly these things are what make you a confident self assured and self motivated individual someone who is very difficult to control it's very difficult for them to control someone like that because you have these firmly held beliefs it's difficult for them to sway you to brainwash you to indoctrinate you it's difficult for them to do that so of course the first thing they got to do is tear away your confidence tear away at the things that you believe in the things that matter to you because once they've done that it's easy for them to mold you into whatever they want you to be and that is why they can't stand it when you have these things of your own you have these things that you believe in these things that you are passionate about these things that you hold close to your heart they can't stand it when you have that and they will do whatever it takes to break it down so that you don't have anything they don't want you to have anything of your own because of course when you have these things that creates confidence and incentive you have a reason for living a reason for getting up every day in the morning and that strips them of their power and control over you so yeah it causes a real problem for them but my advice to you is be very careful be very careful when you're around them because yes they can affect you and as we know narcissists they are masters of their craft and masters of manipulation they've had a lot of success in the past they've had years of trying these things out they know how to sway people to tempt them to lure them into things that they have no business doing no business dealing with and they've seen it as though it's successful in the past so it's only a matter of time until they get you that's how they look at it and the crazy and sickest part of it all and this is really fucked up but this is exactly what they do and what they do is they will push and provoke you they will push all the buttons and they will direct you a certain way they will indoctrinate you they will brainwash you until you end up doing something undesirable something unfavorable for you and here's the crazy and sick part about it because when you do that when you abandon the things that mean the most to you they're not going to take any responsibility for that for your reaction to what they're doing no they're going to stand back and point the finger at you and now you're the problem now you're the one who is to blame and you have to be held accountable three second twisted but that's exactly what they do it's exactly what they do they take no responsibility for where you end up for what happens to you because as I said they don't really care about anyone or anything but themselves they can't see anything past themselves it's like they live in a bubble a world of their own and there's nothing outside of it they can't even see you as a separate person you're just an object you're a means to an end to get them what they want and what they want is these feelings about themselves they want to feel like they exist like they matter like they're real they want to feel like they're a good person all of these things that they are not all of these things that you are but as long as you're there in front of them you're constantly reflecting back to them that they're not who they say they are and then they feel insecure then they feel insignificant so they've got to tear that down they've got to take away the reflection of themselves because you're reflecting it back to them so whenever you strive for something in life whenever you do that it triggers them it triggers them to reflect on their insecurities about how they're not real they're not really about the things that they say they're about the things that they're pretending to be this magnificent wonderful person which while you may not be perfect at least you are trying at least you are striving for something but they don't like to see that because they know they're never going to get there they know they don't have the means to be anything for real so it's all about tearing you down so they can feel better about themselves so that they can establish power and control over the thing that they are envious of because that's just how they work and there's something I've noticed from my own experience I've seen it so many times when people are envious of something they want to have power and control over it so then they control how it affects them they can control how it makes them feel about themselves that's just what they do but my advice to you is don't give up yes you may experience difficulty you may suffer but that's what makes you who you are in the long run and you've just got to look back look back at your ancestors the people from hundreds of years ago thousands of years ago they went through some difficult times as well they experienced suffering that made them who they are and that ultimately made us who we are today so it's quite ironic really when you think about it because unknowingly to them in a way they are kind of helping you because a lot of us are empaths and you know if you weren't in this mess then you would probably live a very easy and comfortable life which means you wouldn't need to fight for anything you wouldn't need to have that confidence and self-determination to be the person that you need to be so when you look at it like that that should give you the incentive to become the best person that you can be and to continue along your journey and just becoming the best version of yourself because that's what you should be doing you shouldn't give up you should hold on to your ideals you should hold on to the things that you care about I'm not saying that everything will work out for you exactly the way that you imagine I'm not saying that at all of course there's going to be ups and downs there's going to be things that you don't really want to deal with you just have to learn to keep getting back up every time that they take you down you've got to get back up you never give up because you will achieve something in the long run you will it all starts by you holding on to the things that you believe in the things that you value as long as you do that you can't go wrong and yes you may experience difficulty unfortunately that's what a lot of good righteous people have to go through I mean you've only got to look back through history some of the greatest people of all time just look what happened to them they had to give their lives and I'm not really that religious but just look at Jesus he's meant to have died on the cross he sacrifices life for the sake of good and there's so many prophets of God and so many heroic characters they gave everything and they did it for us they did it for us and I'm not saying that you have to do that that may not be your duty that may not be your responsibility but just do the best that you can do it doesn't mean that you have to sacrifice yourself for future generations just do the best that you can do and hold on to your beliefs hold on to what you value because they will try to tear it down they will try to tear it apart you have to remember that narcissists are not really about what they say they're about yeah they may seem like this so they really value and believe in certain things yeah it may seem like that but notice how it can change it's flexible and how you do one thing that's how you do everything remember that and sometimes they'll make it seem like they're on the same page like they value the same things as you do yeah I've seen that before they show fake empathy they act like they care about other people no they don't it's all a lie it's fake they don't give a shit about anyone but themselves so they will act like they're just like you they will mimic your ideals they will imitate you but you need to know the difference you need to see it that is this something that they're consistently doing over a long period of time or do they change it up now and again whenever they feel like it or they only do it when you're around you need to look at these things because that will show you who they really are it will show you their true character and as I said all you got to do is focus on yourself you don't need to worry about anyone else just need to focus on what you need to do you need to focus on your own life don't extend yourself too much into becoming responsible for what other people are doing that's not your duty that's not your job you just need to worry about yourself worry about what you need to get to and in time once you've developed yourself and you've established something for real then you can think about sharing that with someone else building a life for yourself relationship marriage whatever it is that you want then you can focus on that but first you've got to worry about yourself you've been dealing with a narcissist you've got to heal you've got to process what you went through you've got to become stronger a better person and you've got to take accountability that is very important as I've always said accountability is the key to your success without accountability you are destined to fail so please remember that and yeah I hope this video was helpful I hope that inspires you to become the best version of yourself and just to get to where you need to be remember narcissist will try to test you they will try to break you all you've got to do is hold on and hold on tight because if you are dealing with a true narcissist you will be in for the ride of your life they will try to break you down they will try to tear you apart from the inside because they know that's where you're strongest at your core so that's where they have to break it down first is at your core the strongest part of you they've got to tear that apart and then you just fall apart so yeah remember that and if the video was helpful you can give it a thumbs up down below that will help me that will help our community you can share this video as well and let me know your thoughts if you agree with this or not down below in the comments I do read your comments every day share the video subscribe and for when I'm on coaching you can bug it from my website which is narksurviver.co.uk and also check out my instagram as well I've got new pictures and videos of my travels every day on there and you can also send me a message too I will respond it is narksurvivour youtube on instagram I'm just going to continue my walk around this park it's very peaceful out here I'm enjoying it I'm having a good time but yeah I will talk to you again soon you all have a great day