 Section 4 of Pamela or Virtue Rewarded This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by John Nixon, the supercargo of www.thesupercargo.com Pamela or Virtue Rewarded By Samuel Richardson Section 4 Letter 24 Dear father and mother, I shall write on as long as I stay, though I should have nothing but silliness to write, for I know you divert yourselves on nights with what I write, because it is mine. John tells me how much you long for my coming, but he says he told you he hoped something would happen to hinder it. I am glad you did not tell him the occasion of my coming away, for if my fellow servants should guess it were better so than to have it from you or me. Besides, I really am concerned that my master should cast away a thought upon such a poor creature as me, for besides the disgrace it has quite turned his temper, and I begin to believe what Mrs. Gervis told me, that he likes me and can't help it, and yet strives to conquer it, and so finds no way but to be crossed to me. Don't think me presumptuous and conceited, for it is more my concern than my pride to see such a gentleman so demean himself, and lessen the regard he used to have in the eyes of all his servants on my account. But I am to tell you of my new dress today, and so when I had dined, upstairs I went and locked myself into my little room. There I tricked myself up as well as I could in my new garb, and put on my round-eared ordinary cap, but with a green knot, however, and my home-spun gown and petticoat and plain leather shoes, but yet they are what they call Spanish leather, and my ordinary hose, or ordinary I mean to what I have been lately used to, though I shall think good yarn may do very well for every day when I come home. A plain muslin tucker I put on, and my black silk necklace, instead of the French necklace my lady gave me, and put the earrings out of my ears, and when I was quite equipped, I took my straw hat in my hand with its two blue strings, and looked about me in the glass as proud as anything, to say truth I never liked myself so well in my life. O the pleasure of descending with ease, innocence, and resignation, indeed there is nothing like it, and humble mind I plainly see cannot meet with any very shocking disappointment, let fortune's wheel turn round as it will. So I went down to look for Mrs. Gervis to see how she liked me. I met, as I was upon the stairs, Al Rachel, who is the housemaid, and she made me a low curtsy, and I found, did not know me. So I smiled, and went to the housekeeper's parlour, and there sat good Mrs. Gervis at work, making a shift, and would you believe it, she did not know me at first, but rose up, and pulled off her spectacles, and said, Do you want me for sooth? I could not help laughing, and said, Hey, day, Mrs. Gervis, what don't you know me? She stood all in amaze, and looked at me from top to toe. Why, you surprise me, said she. What, Pamela, thus met her more false? How came this about? As it happened, instept my master, and my back being to him, he thought it was a stranger speaking to Mrs. Gervis, and withdrew again, and did not hear her ask if his honour had any commands for her. She turned me about, and about, and I showed her all my dress, to my underpetticoat, and she said, sitting down, Why, I am all in amaze, I must sit down. What can all this mean? I told her I had no clothes suitable to my condition when I returned to my father's, and so it was better to begin here, as I was soon to go away, that all my fellow servants might see I knew how to suit myself to the state I was returning to. Well, said she, I never knew the like of thee, but this sad preparation for going away, for now I see you are quite in earnest, is what I know not how to get over. Oh, my dear Pamela, how can I part with you? My master rung in the back parlour, and so I withdrew, and Mrs. Gervis went to attend him. It seems, he said to her, I was coming in to let you know that I shall go to Lincolnshire, and possibly to my sister Davas, and be absent some weeks, but pray what pretty neat damsel was with you. She says she smiled, and asked if his honour did not know who it was. No, said he. I never saw her before. Farmer Nichols or Farmer Brady have neither of them such a tight prim lass for a daughter, have they? Though I did not see her face, neither, said he. If your honour won't be angry, said she, I will introduce her into your presence, for I think, says she, she outdoes her Pamela. Now, I did not thank her for this, as I told her afterwards, for it brought a great deal of trouble upon me, as well as crossness, as you shall hear. That can't be, he was pleased to say, but if you can find an excuse for it, let her come in. That she stepped to me, and told me I must go in with her to her master. But, said she, for goodness sake, let him find you out, for he don't know you. Oh, fine, Mrs. Gervis said I, how could you serve me so? Besides, it looks too free, both in me and to him. I tell you, said she, you shall come in, and pray, don't reveal yourself, till he finds you out. So I went in, foolish as I was, though I must have been seen by him another time, if I had not then. And she would make me take my straw hat in my hand. I dropped a low curtsy, but said never a word, I daresay he knew me as soon as he saw my face, but was cunning as Lucifer. He came up to me, and took me by the hand, and said, Who's pretty maiden are you? I daresay you're Pamela's sister. You're so like her, so neat, so clean, so pretty. Why, child, you far surpassed your sister Pamela. I was all confusion, and would have spoken, but he took me about the neck. Why, said he, your very pretty child, I would not be so free with your sister, you may believe, but I must kiss you. Oh, sir, said I, I am Pamela, indeed I am, indeed I am Pamela her own self. He kissed me for all I could do, and said, Impossible, you're a lovelier girl by half than Pamela, and sure I may be innocently free with you, though I would not do her so much favour. This was a sad trick upon me indeed, and what I could not expect. And Mrs. Gervis looked like a fool as much as I for her officiousness. At last I got away, and ran out of the parlour, most sadly vexed, as you may well think. He talked a good deal to Mrs. Gervis, and at last ordered me to come in to him. Come in, said he, your little villain, so he called me. Good sirs, what a name was there. Who is it you put your tricks upon? I was resolved never to honour your unworthiness. Said he, with so much notice again, and so you must disguise yourself to attract me, and yet pretend like an hypocrite as you are. I was out of patience then, hold good sirs, had I don't impute disguise and impocracy to me, above all things, for I hate them both, mean as I am, I have put on no disguise. What a plague, said he, for that was his word. Do you mean then by this dress? Why, and please your honour, said I, I mean one of the honestest things in the world. I have been in disguise indeed, ever since my good lady or mother took me from my poor parents. I came to her ladyship so poor and mean that these clothes I have on are a princely suit to those I had then, and her goodness heaped upon me rich clothes and other bounties, and as I am now returning to my poor parents again so soon, I cannot wear those good things without being hooted at, and so have bought what will be more suitable to my degree, and be a good holiday suit too when I get home. He then took me in his arms and presently pushed me from him. Mrs. Jervis said he, take the little witch from me, I can neither bear nor forbear her, strange words these, but stay you shan't go, yet be gone, oh come back again. I thought he was mad for my share, for he knew not what he would have. I was going, however, but he stepped after me and took hold of my arm and brought me in again. I am sure he made my arm black and blue, for the marks are upon it still. Sir, sir, said I pray, have mercy, I will, I will come in. He sat down and looked at me, and as I thought afterwards, as cillily as such a poor girl as I, at last he said, Well, Mrs. Jervis, as I was telling you, you may permit her to stay a little longer till I see if my sister Davies will have her. If, meantime, she humble herself and ask this as a favour, and is sorry for her pertness and the liberty she has taken with my character out of the house, and in the house, Your honour indeed told me so, said Mrs. Jervis, but I never found her inclinable to think herself in fault. Bride and perverseness, said he, with a vengeance, yet this is your doting piece. Well, for once I'll submit myself to tell you, Arcee, said he to me, You may stay a fortnight longer till I see my sister Davies. Do you hear what I say to you? Statue? Can you neither speak nor be thankful? Your honour frightens me so, said I, that I can hardly speak, but I will venture to say that I have only to beg as a favour that I may go to my father and mother. Why, fool, said he, won't you like to go wait on my sister Davies? Sir, I said I was once fond of that honour, but you were pleased to say I might be in danger from her ladyship's nephew, or he from me. Damned impertinent, said he, Do you hear, Mrs. Jervis, do you hear how she retorts upon me? Whatever such matchless assurance! I then fell a-weeping, for Mrs. Jervis said, Fie, Pamela, fie. And I said, my lot is very hard indeed, I am sure I would hurt nobody, and I have been, it seems, guilty of indiscretions, which have cost me my place and my master's favour, and so have been turned here away, and when the time is come that I should return to my poor parents, I am not suffered to go quietly. Good your honour, what have I done that I must be used worse than if I had robbed you? Robbed me, said he. Why, why so you have, Hussie? Have robbed me? Who, sir? Aye, sir? Said I. Have I robbed you? Why, then, you are a justice of peace and may send me to jail, if you please, and bring me to a trial for my life. If you can prove that I have robbed you, I am sure I ought to die. Now, I was quite ignorant of his meaning, though I did not like it when it was afterwards explained, neither, and well, thought I, what will this come to at last if poor Pamela is esteemed a thief? Then I thought, in an instant, how I should show my face to my honest poor parents if I was but suspected. But, sir, said I, let me ask you but one question and pray don't let me be called names for it, for I don't mean disrespectfully. Why, if I have done a miss, am I not left to be discharged by your housekeeper as the other maids have been? And if Jane or Rachel or Hannah were to offend, would your honour stoop to take notice of them? And why should you so demean yourself to take notice of me? Pray, sir, if I have not been worse than others, why should I suffer more than others and why should I not be turned away, and there's an end of it? For indeed I am not of consequence enough for my master to concern himself and be angry about such a creature as me. Do you hear, Mrs Jervis, cried here again, how pertly I am interrogated by this saucy slut? Why, source box, says he, did not my good mother desire me to take care of you, not been always distinguished by me above a common servant? And as your ingratitude upbraid me for this, I said something mutteringly, and he vowed he would hear it. I begged excuse, but he insisted upon it. Why, then, said I, if your honour must know, I said that my good lady did not desire your care to extend to the summer house and her dressing-room. Well, this was a little saucy, you'll say, and he flew into such a passion that I was forced to run for it, and Mrs Jervis said it was happy I got out of the way. Why, what makes him provoke one so, then? I'm almost sorry for it, but I would be glad to get away at any rate for I begin to be more fearful now. Just now Mr Jonathan sent me these lines. Bless me, what shall I do? Dear Mrs Pamela, take care of yourself, for Rachel heard my master say to Mrs Jervis, who she believes was pleading for you, say no more, Mrs Jervis, for by God I will have her. Burn this instantly. Oh, pray for your poor daughter. I am called to go to bed by Mrs Jervis, for it is past eleven, and I am sure she shall hear of it. For all this is owing to her, though she did not mean any harm, but I have been and am in a strange fluster, and I suppose too she'll say I've been full pert. Oh, my dear father and mother, power and riches never want advocates. But poor gentle woman, she cannot live without him, and he has been very good to her. So good night. Maybe I shall send this in the morning, but maybe not, so won't conclude, though I can't say too often that I am, though with great apprehension, your most dutiful daughter. Letter twenty-five. My dear parents, oh let me take up my complaint and say, never was poor creature so unhappy and so barbarously used as poor Pamela. Indeed, my dear father and mother, my heart's just broke. I can neither write as I should do, nor let it alone. For to whom but you can I vent my griefs and keep my poor heart from bursting. Wicked, wicked man, I have no patience when I think of him, but yet don't be frightened, for I hope I am honest. But if my head and my hand will let me usual hear all, is there no constable, no head borrower though, to take me out of this house, for I am sure I can safely swear the peace against him. But alas, he is greater than any constable, he is a justice himself, such a justice deliver me from, but God Almighty I hope in time will write me for he knows the innocence of my heart. John went your way in the morning, but I have been too much distracted to send by him and have seen nobody but Mrs. Jervis or Rachel, and one I hate to see or be seen by, and indeed I hate now to see anybody. Strange things I have to tell you that happened since last night. That good Mr. Jonathan's letter and my master's harshness put me into such a fluster, but I will not keep you in suspense. I went to Mrs. Jervis's chamber and, oh dreadful, my wicked master had hid himself, base gentleman as he is, in her closet where she has a few books and chest of drawers and such like. I little suspected it, though I used till this sad night always to look into that closet and another in the room and under the bed ever since the summer house trick, but never found anything, and so I did not do it then, being fully resolved to be angry with Mrs. Jervis for what had happened in the day, and so thought of nothing else. I sat myself down on one side of the bed and she on the other, and we began to undress ourselves, but she on that side next the wicked closet that held the worst heart in the world. So, said Mrs. Jervis, you won't speak to me, Pamela. I find you are angry with me. Why, Mrs. Jervis, said I, so I am a little, it is a folly to deny it. You see what I have suffered by your forcing me into my master, and a gentle woman of your years and experience must needs know that it was not fit for me to be anybody else for my own sake, nor with regard to my master. But, said she, who would have thought it would have turned how so? I, said I, little thinking who heard me, Lucifer always is ready to promote his own work and workmen. You see presently what use he made of it, pretending not to know me on purpose to be free with me, and when he took upon himself to know me to quarrel with me and to use me hardly, and you too, said I, to cry Lucifer, Pamela, cut me to the heart, for that encouraged him. Do you think, my dear, said she, that I would encourage him? I never said so to you before, but since you have forced it from me I must tell you that ever since you consulted me I have used my utmost endeavours to divert him from his wicked purposes and he has promised fair, but to say all in a word, he dotes upon you, and I begin to see it is not in his power to help it. I luckily said nothing of the note from Mr. Jonathan, for I began to suspect all the world almost, but I said to try, Mrs. Gervis, well then, what would you have me do? You see he is for having me wait on Lady Davos now. Why, I'll tell you freely, my dear Pamela, said she, and I trust to your discretion to conceal what I say. My master has been often desiring me to put you upon asking him to let you stay. Yes, said I, Mrs. Gervis, let me interrupt you. I will tell you why I could not think of that. It was not the pride of my heart but the pride of my honesty. For what must have been the case? Here my master has been very rude to me once and twice and you say he cannot help it though he pretends to be sorry for it. Well, he has given me warning to leave my place and uses me very harshly perhaps to frighten me to his purposes, as he supposes I would be fond of staying as indeed I should if I could be safe for I love you and all the house and value him if he would act as my master. Well then as I know his designs and that he owns that he cannot help it must I have asked to stay knowing he would attempt me again? For all you could assure me of was he would do nothing by force so I, a poor weak girl was to be left to my own strength and was not this to allow him to tempt me as one may say and to encourage him to go on in his wicked devices? Hell then Mrs. Gervis could I ask or wish to stay? You say well my dear child says she and you have a justness of thought above your yours for all these considerations and for what I have heard this day after you ran away and I'm glad you went as you did I cannot persuade you to stay and I shall be glad which is what I never thought I could have said that you were father's for if Lady Davers will entertain you she may as well have you from thence as here there's my good Mrs. Gervis said I God will bless you for your good counsel to a poor maiden that's hardly set but pray what did he say when I was gone why he says he was very angry with you but he would hear it said I I think it was a little bold but then he provoked me to it and had not my honesty been in the case I would any means have been so saucy besides Mrs. Gervis consider it was the truth if he does not love to hear of the summer house and the dressing room why should he not be ashamed to continue in the same mind but says she when you had muttered this to yourself you might have told him anything else well said I I cannot tell a willful lie and so there's an end of it but I find you now give him up and think there's danger in staying bless me I wish I was well out of the house so it was at the bottom of a wet ditch on the wildest common in England why said she it signifies nothing to tell you all he said but it was enough to make me fear that you would not be so safe as I could wish and upon my word Pamela I don't wonder he loves you for without flattery you are a charming girl I never saw you look more lovely in your life than in that same new dress of yours and then it was such a surprise upon I believe truly you owe some of your danger to the lovely appearance you made then said I I wish the clothes in the fire I expected no effect from them but if any quite contrary one hush said I Mrs. Jervis did you not hear something stir in the closet no silly girl said she your fears are always awake but indeed said I think I heard something rustle maybe says she the cat maybe got there but I hear nothing I was hush but she said prithee my good girl make haste to bed see if the door be fast so I did and was thinking to look into the closet but hearing no more noise thought it needless and so went to gain and sat myself down on the bedside and went on undressing myself and Mrs. Jervis being by this time undressed stepped into bed and bit me hastened for she was sleepy I don't know what was the matter but my heart sadly misgave me indeed Mr. Jonathan's note was enough to make it do so with what Mrs. Jervis had said I pulled off my stays and my stockings and all my clothes to an under petticoat and then hearing a rustle again in the closet I said heaven protect us but before I say my prayers I must look into this closet and so was going to it slip-shot when oh dreadful outrushed my master in a rich silk and silver morning gown I screamed and ran to the bed and Mrs. Jervis screamed too and he said I'll do you no harm if you forbear this noise but otherwise take what follows instantly came to the bed for I'd crept into it to Mrs. Jervis with my coat on and my shoes and taking me in his arms said Mrs. Jervis rise and just step upstairs and keep the maids from coming down of this noise I'll do no harm to this rebel oh for heaven's sake for pity's sake Mrs. Jervis said I if I am not betrayed don't leave me and I beseech you raise all the house no said Mrs. Jervis I will not stir my dear lamb I will not leave you I wonder at you sir said she and kindly threw herself upon my coat clasping me around the waist you shall not this innocent said she for I will lose my life in her defence are there not said she enough wicked ones in the world for your base purpose but you must attempt such a lamb as this he was desperate angry and threatened to throw her out of the window and to turn her out of the house the next morning you need not sir said she for I will not stay in it God defend my poor Pamela till tomorrow and we will both go together says he let me but expostulate a word or two with you Pamela pray Pamela said Mrs. Jervis don't hear a word except he leaves the bed and goes to the other end of the room I out of the room said I expostulate tomorrow if you must expostulate I found his hand in my bosom and when my fright let me know it I was ready to die and I sighed and screamed and fainted away and still he had his arms about my neck and Mrs. Jervis was about my feet upon my coat and all in a cold dewy sweat was I Pamela Pamela said Mrs. Jervis as she tells me since oh and gave another shriek my poor Pamela is dead for certain and so to be sure I was for a time for I knew nothing more of the matter and one fit following another till about three hours after as it proved to be I found myself in bed and Mrs. Jervis sitting upon one side with her wrapper about her and Rachel on the other and no master for the wicked wretch was gone but I was so overjoyed that I hardly could believe myself and I said which were my first words Mrs. Jervis Mrs. Rachel can I be sure it's you tell me can I where have I been oh my dear said Mrs. Jervis you have been in fit after fit I never saw anybody so frightful in my life by this I judged Rachel knew nothing of the matter and it seems my wicked master had upon Mrs. Jervis his second noise on my fainting away slipped out and as if he had come from his own chamber disturbed by the screaming went up to the maids room who hearing the noise lay trembling and afraid to stir and bid them go down and see what was the matter with Mrs. Jervis and me I charged Mrs. Jervis and promised to forgive her for what she had said and done if she would conceal the matter so the maids came down and all went up again when I came to myself a little except Rachel who stayed to sit up with me and bear Mrs. Jervis company I believe they all guessed the matter to be bad enough though they did not say anything when I think of my danger and the freedoms he actually took though I believe Mrs. Jervis saved me from worse and she said she did though what can I think of who was in a fit and knew nothing of the matter I am almost distracted at first I was afraid of Mrs. Jervis but I am fully satisfied she is very good and I should have been lost but for her and she takes on grievously about it what would have become of me had she gone out of the room to still the maids as he bid her he'd certainly have shut her out and then mercy on me what would have become of your poor Pamela I must leave off a little for my eyes and my head are sadly bad this was a dreadful trial this was the worst of all oh that I was out of the power of this dreadfully wicked man pray for your distressed daughter letter 26 my dear father and mother I did not rise till ten o'clock and I had all the concerns and wishes of the family and multitudes of inquiries about me my wicked master went out early to hunt for a word he would be in to breakfast and so he was he came up to our chamber about eleven and had nothing to do to be sorry for he was our master and so put on sharp anger at first I had great emotions at his entering the room and threw my apron over my head and feather crying as if my heart would break Mrs. Jervis said he since I know you and you me so well I don't know how we shall live together for the future sir said she I will take the liberty to say what I think is best for both I have so much grief that you should attempt to do any injury to this poor girl and especially in my chamber that I should think myself accessory to the mischief if I was not to take notice of it though my ruin therefore may depend upon it I desire not to stay but pray let poor Pamela and me go together with all my heart said he and the sooner the better she fell a crying I find says he this girl has made a party of the whole house in her favour against me her innocence deserves it of us all said she very kindly and I never could have thought that the son of my dear good lady departed could have so forfeited his honour as to endeavour to destroy a virtue he ought to protect more of this mrs. Jervis said he I will not hear it as for Pamela she has a lucky knack of falling into fits when she pleases but the cursed yellings of you both made me not myself I intended no harm to her as I told you both if you'd have left off your squawlings and I did no harm neither not to myself for I raised a hornet's nest about my ears that as far as I know may have stung to death my reputation sir said mrs. Jervis I beg Mr. Longman may take my account and I will go away as soon as I can as for Pamela she is at her liberty I hope to go away next Thursday as she intends I sat still for I could not speak nor look up and his presence discomposed me extremely but I was sorry to hear myself the unhappy occasion of mrs. Jervis is losing her place and hope that may be still made up well said he let mr. Longman account as soon as you will and mrs. Jukes who is his housekeeper in Lincolnshire shall come hither in your place and won't be less obliging I daresay than you have been said she I have never disobliged you till now and let me tell you sir if you knew what belonged to your own reputation or honour no more no more said he of these antiquated topics I have been no bad friend to you and I shall always esteem you though you have not been so faithful to these secrets as I could have wished and have laid me open to this girl which has made her more afraid of me than she had occasion well sir said she after what passed yesterday and last night I think I went rather too far in favour of your injunctions than otherwise and I should have deserved everybody's censure as the basest of creatures had I been capable of contributing to your lawless attempts still mrs. Jervis still reflecting upon me and all imaginary faults for what harm have I done the girl I won't bear it I'll assure you but yet in respect to my mother I'm willing to part friendly with you though you ought both of you to reflect on the freedom of your conversation relation to me which I should have resented more than I do but that I am conscious I had no business to demean myself so as to be in your closet where I might have expected to hear a multitude of impertinence between you well sir said she you have no objection I hope to Pamela going away on Thursday next you are mighty solicitous said he about Pamela but no not I let her go as soon as she will she is a naughty girl and has brought all this upon herself and upon me more trouble than she can have had from me but I have overcome it all and will never concern myself about her I have a proposal made me added he since I have been out this morning that I shall go near to embrace and so wish only that a discreet use may be made of what is past and there's an end of everything with me as to Pamela I assure you I clasped my hands together through my apron overjoyed at this though I was soon to go away for naughty as he has been to me I wish his prosperity with all my heart for my good old ladies sake well Pamela says he you need not now be afraid to speak to me tell me what you lifted up your hands at I said not a word says he if you like what I have said give me your hand upon it I held my hand up through my apron for I could not speak to him and he took hold of it and pressed it though less hard than he did my arm the day before what does the little fool cover her face for said he pull your apron away and let me see how you look after your freedom of speech of me last night no wonder you're ashamed to see me you know you were very free with my character I could not stand this barbarous insult as I took it to be considering his behaviour to me and I then spoke and said oh the difference between the minds of thy creatures good God how shall some be cast down in their innocence while others can triumph in their guilt and so saying I went upstairs to my chamber and wrote all this for though he vexed me at his taunting yet I was pleased to hear he was likely to be married and that his wicked intentions were so happily overcome as to me and this made me a little easier and I hope I have passed the worst or else it is very hard and yet I shan't think myself at ease quite till I am with you for me thinks after all his repentance and amendment are mighty suddenly resolved upon but the divine grace is not confined to space and remorse may and I hope has smitten him to the heart at once for his injuries to poor me yet I be too secure neither having opportunity I send now what I know will grieve you to the heart but I hope I shall bring my next scribble myself and so conclude though half broken hearted your ever dutiful daughter End of Section 4 Recording by John Nixon The Supercargo of www.thesupercargo.com Section 5 of Pamela or Virtue Rewarded This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Pamela or Virtue Rewarded by Samuel Richardson Section 5 Letter 27 Dear Father and Mother I am glad I desired you not to meet me and John says you won't for he told you he is sure I shall get a passage well enough either behind some one of the fellow servants on horseback or by Farmer Nichols's means but as to the chariot he talked to you of I can't expect that favor to be sure and I should not care for it because it would look so much above me but Farmer Brady they say has a chase with one horse and we hope to borrow that or hire it rather than fail though money runs a little lowish after what I have laid out but I don't care to say so here though I warrant I might have what I would of Mrs. Jervis or Mr. Jonathan or Mr. Longman but then how shall I pay it you'll say and besides I don't love to be beholden but the chief reason I'm glad you don't set out to meet me is the uncertainty for it seems I must stay another week still and hope certainly to go Thursday after for poor Mrs. Jervis will go at the same time she says and can't be ready before oh that I was once well with you though he is very civil too at present and not so cross as he was and yet he is as vexatious another way as you shall hear for yesterday he had a rich suit of clothes brought home which they call a birthday suit for he intends to go to London against next birthday to see the court and our folks will have it he is to be made a lord I wish they may make him an honest man as he was always thought but I have not found it so alas for me and so as I was saying he had these clothes come home and he tried them on and before he pulled them off he sent for me when nobody else was in the parlor with him Hamela said he you are so neat and so nice in your own dress a lack a day I didn't know I was that you must be a judge of ours how are these clothes made do they fit me I am no judge said I and please your honor but I think they look very fine his waistcoat stood on end with silver lace and he looked very grand but what he did last has made me very serious and I could make him look very nice he said he why don't you wear your usual clothes though I think everything looks well upon you for I still continue in my new dress I said I have no clothes sir I ought to come my own but these and it is no matter what such an one is I wears said he why you look very serious Pamela I see you can bear I according to the occasion why said he your eyes always look red I think are you not a fool to take my last freedom so much to heart I am sure you and that fool Mrs. Jervis frightened me by your hideous squalling as much as I could frighten you that is all we had for it said I and if you could be so afraid of your own servants knowing of your attempts upon a poor unworthy creature under your protection while I stay surely your honor ought to be more afraid of God Almighty in whose presence we all stand in every action of our lives and to whom the greatest as well as the least must be accountable let them think what they list he took my hand in a kind of good humored mockery and said well urged my pretty preacher when my Lincolnshire chaplain dies I'll put thee on a cassock and don't make a good figure in his place I wish said I a little vexed at his jeer your honor's conscience would be your preacher and then you would need no other chaplain well well Pamela said he no more of this unfashionable jargon I did not send for you so much for your opinion of my new suit as to tell you you are welcome to stay since Mrs. Jervis desires it goes I welcome said I I am sure I shall rejoice when I am out of the house well said he you are an ungrateful baggage but I am thinking it would be a pity with these fair soft hands and that lovely skin as he called it and took hold of my hand that you should return again to hard work as you must if you go to your father's and so I would advise her to take London and let lodgings to us members of parliament when we come to town and such a pretty daughter as you may pass for will always fill her house and she'll get a great deal of money I was sadly vexed at this barbarous joke but being ready to cry before the tears gushed out and endeavoring to get my hand from him but in vain I said I can expect no better your behavior sir to me has been just of a peace with these words nay I will say it though you were to be ever so angry I angry Pamela no no said he I have overcome all that and as you are to go away I look upon you now as Mrs. Jervis's guest while you both stay and not as my servant and so you may say what you will but I'll tell you Pamela why you need not take this matter to such high disdain you have a very pretty romantic turn for virtue and all that and I don't suppose but you'll hold it still and nobody will be able to prevail upon you but my child sneeringly he spoke it do but consider what a fine opportunity you will then have for a tale every day to good mother Jervis and what subjects for letter writing to your father and mother and what pretty preachments you may hold as to the young gentlemen adds my heart I think it would be the best thing you and she could do you do well sir said I to even your wit to such a poor maiden as me but permit me to say that if you was not rich and great and I poor and little you would not insult me thus let me ask you sir if you think this becomes your fine clothes and a master's station so serious my pretty Pamela said he why so grave and would kiss me but my heart was full and I said let me alone I will tell you if you was a king and insulted me as you have done that you have forgotten to act like a gentleman and I won't stay to be used thus I will go to the next farmers and there wait for Mrs. Jervis if she must go and I'd have you know sir that I can stoop to the nearest work of your Scullions for all these nasty soft hands sooner than bear such un-gentlemanly imputations I sent for you said he in high good humor but it is impossible to hold it with such an impertinent however I'll keep my temper but while I see you here pray don't put on those dismal grave looks why girl you should forbear them if it were but for your pride's sake for the family will think you are grieving to leave the house then sir said I I will try to convince them of the contrary as well as your honor for I will endeavor to be more cheerful while I stay for that very reason well replied he I will set this down by itself as the first time that ever what I had advised had any weight with you and I will add said I as the first advice you have be of late that was fit to be followed I wish said he I am almost ashamed to write it impudent gentleman as he is I wish I had the as quick another way as thou art in thy repartee's and he laughed and I snatched my hand from him and I tripped away as fast as I could ah thought I married I am sure it is time you were married or at this rate no honest maiden ought to live with you why dear father and mother to be sure he grows quite a rake how easy it is to go from bad to worse when once people give way to vice how would my poor lady had she lived have grieved to see it but maybe he would have been better then though it seems he told Mrs. Jervis he had an eye upon me in his mother's lifetime and he intended to let me know as much by the buy her here is shamelessness for you sure the world must be near at an end for all the gentlemen about are as bad as he almost as far as I can hear and see the fruits of such bad examples their squire Martin in the Grove has had three lions in it seems in his house in three months past one by himself and one by his coach man and one by his woodman and yet he has turned none of them away indeed how can he when they but follow his own vile example there is he and two or three more such as he within ten miles of us who keep company and hunt with our fine master truly and I suppose he is never the better for their examples but heaven bless me say I and send me out of this wicked house but dear father and mother what sort of creatures must the women kind be do you think to give way to such wickedness why this it is that makes everyone be thought of a like and a lack a day what a world we live in for it is grown more a wonder that the men are resisted then that the women comply this I suppose makes me such a sauce box and bold face and a creature and all because I won't be a sauce box and bold face indeed but I am sorry for these things one don't know what arts and stratagems men may devise to gain their vile ends and so I will think as well as I can of these poor undone creatures and pity them for you see by my sad story and narrow escapes what hardships poor maidens go through whose lot it is to go out to service especially to houses where there is not the fear of God and good rule kept by the heads of the family you see I am quite grown graven serious indeed it becomes the present condition of your dutiful daughter letter 28 dear father and mother John says you wept when you read my last letter that he carried I am sorry you let him see that for they all mistrust already how matters are and it is no credit that I have been attempted though it is that I have resisted yet I am sorry they have caused to think so evil of my master from any of us Mrs. Jervis has made up her accounts with Mr. Longman and will stay in her place I am glad of it for her own sake and for my masters for she has a good master of him so indeed all have but poor me and he has a good housekeeper in her Mr. Longman it seems took upon him to talk to my master how faithful and careful of his interests she was and how exact in her accounts and he told him there was no comparison between her accounts and Mrs. Jukes at the Lincolnshire estate he said so many fine things it seems of Mrs. Jervis that my master sent for her in Mr. Longman's presence and said Pamela might come along with her I suppose to mortify me that I must go while she has to stay but as when I go away I am not to go with her nor was she to go with me so I did not matter it much only it would have been creditable to such a poor girl that the housekeeper would bear me company if I went said he to her well Mrs. Jervis Longman says you have made up your accounts with him with your usual fidelity and exactness I had a good mind to make you an offer of continuing with me if you can be a little sorry for your hasty words which indeed were not so respectful as I have deserved at your hands she seemed at a sad loss what to say because Mr. Longman was there and she could not speak of the occasion of those words which was me indeed said Mr. Longman I must need say before your face that since I have known my master's family I have never found such good management in it nor so much love and harmony either I wish the Lincolnshire estate was as well served no more of that said my master but Mrs. Jervis may stay if she will and here Mrs. Jervis pray accept of this which at the close of every year's accounts I will present you with besides your salary as long as I find your care so useful and agreeable and he gave her five guineas she made him a low curtsy and thanking him looked to me as if she would have spoken to me he took her meaning I believe for he said indeed I love to encourage merit and obligingness Longman but I can never be equally kind to those who don't deserve it at my hands as to those who do and then he looked full on me Longman continued he I said that girl might come in with Mrs. Jervis because they love to be always together for Mrs. Jervis is very good to her and loves her as well as if she was her daughter but else Mr. Longman interrupting him said good to Mrs. Pamela I sir and so she is to be sure but everybody must be good to her for he was going on but my master said no more no more Mr. Longman I see old men are taken with pretty young girls as well as other folks and fair looks hide many a fault where a person has the art to behave obligingly why and please your honor said Mr. Longman everybody and was going on I believe to say something more in my praise but he interrupted him and said not a word more of this Pamela I can't let her stay I'll assure you not only for her own freedom of speech but her letter writing of all the secrets of my family I said the good old man I am sorry for that too but sir no more I say said my master for my reputation is so well known mighty fine thought I that I care not what anybody writes or says of me but to tell you the truth not that it need go further I think of changing my condition soon and you know young ladies of birth and fortune will choose their own servants and that's my chief reason why Pamela today as for the rest said he the girl is a good sort of body take her all together though I must need say a little pert since my mother's death in her answers and gives me two words for one which I can't bear nor is there reason I should you know long man no to be sure sir said he but his strange me thinks she should be so mild and meek to every one of us in the house herself so where she should show most respect very true Mr. Longman said he but so it is I'll assure you and it was from her pertness that Mrs. Jervis and I had the words and I should mind it the less but that the girl there she stands I say it to her face has wit and sense above her years and knows better I was in great pain to say something but yet I knew not poor Mr. Longman and Mrs. Jervis looked at me and walked to the window to hide her concern for me at last I said it is for you sir to say what you please and for me only to say God bless your honor poor Mr. Longman faltered in his speech and was ready to cry said my insulting master to me why pretty Pamela now show thyself as thou art before Longman should not give him a specimen of that pertness which thou hast exercised upon me sometimes did he not my dear father and mother deserve all the truth to be told yet I overcame myself so far as to say well your honor may play upon a poor girl that you know can answer you but dare not why pretty now insinuator said he say the worst you can before Longman and Mrs. Jervis I have challenged the utmost of thy impertinence and as thou are going away and have the love of everybody I would be a little justified to my family that you have no reason to complain of hardships from me as I have pert saucy answers from you besides exposing me by your letters surely sir said I I am of no consequence equal to this in your honor's family that such a great gentleman as you should need yourself about me I am glad Mrs. Jervis stays with your honor and I know I have not deserved to stay and more than that I don't desire to stay adds bobbers said Mr. Longman and ran to me don't say so don't say so dear Miss Pamela we all love you dearly and pray down of your knees and ask his honor pardon and we will all be completers in a body and I and Mrs. Longman will be with the head of it to beg his honor's pardon and to continue you at least till his honor marries no Mr. Longman said I I cannot ask nor will I stay if I might all I desire is to return to my poor father and mother and though I love you all I won't stay oh well a day well a day said the good old man I did not expect this honor and had made all up for Mrs. Jervis I was in hopes to have got a double holiday of joy for all the family in your pardon too well said my master this is a little specimen of what I told you long man you see there is a spirit you did not expect Mrs. Jervis told me after that she could stay no longer to hear me so hardly used and must have spoken had she stayed what would never have been her so she went out I looked after her to go to but my master said come Pamela give another specimen I desire you to long man I am sure you must if you will but speak well sir said I since it seems your greatness wants to be justified by my loneliness and I have no desire you should suffer in the sight of your family I will say on my bended knees and so I kneeled down I have been a very faulty and a very ungrateful creature to the best of masters I have been very perverse and saucy and have deserved nothing at your hands but to be turned out of your family with shame and disgrace I therefore have nothing to say for myself but that I am not worthy to stay and so cannot wish to stay and will not stay and so God Almighty bless you and Mr. Long Man and good Mrs. Jervis and every living soul family and I will pray for you as long as I live and so I rose up and was forced to lean upon my master's elbow chair or I should have sunk down the poor old man wept more than I and said adds bobbers was ever the like heard tis too much too much I can't bear it as I hope to live I am quite melted dear sir forgive her the poor thing praise for you she praise for us all she owns her fault yet won't be forgiven I profess I know not what to make of it my master himself hardened wretches he was seemed a little moved and took his handkerchief out of his pocket and walked to the window what sort of a day is it said he and then getting a little more hard heartedness he said well you may be gone from my presence thou strange consistency but thou shan't stay after your time in the house nay pray sir pray sir said the old man relent a little adds heartikins you young gentlemen are made of iron and steel I think I'm sure said he my hearts turned into butter and is running away at my eyes I never felt the like before said my master with an imperious tone get out of my presence Hussie I can't bear you in my sight sir said I I'm going as fast as I can but indeed my dear father and mother my head was so giddy and my limbs trembled so that I was forced to go holding by the wainscot all the way with both my hands and thought I should not have got to the door but when I did as I hoped this would be my last interview with this terrible heart hearted master at a low curtsy and said God bless you sir God bless you Mr. Long man and I went into the lobby leading to the great hall and dropped into the first chair for I could get no farther a good while I leave all these things to your reflection my dear parents but I can write no more my poor hearts almost broken indeed it is oh when shall I get away send me good God and safety once more father's peaceful cot and there the worst that can happen will be joy and perfection to what I now bear oh pity your distressed daughter letter 29 my dear father and mother I must write on though I shall come so soon for now I have hardly anything else to do I have finished all that lay upon me and only wait the good time of setting out Mrs. Jervis said I must be low in pocket for what I had laid out and so would have presented me with two guineas of her five but I could not take them of her because poor gentle woman she pays old debts for her children that were extravagant and wants them herself this though was very good in her I am sorry I shall have but little to bring with me but I know you won't you are so good and I will work the harder when I come home if I can get a little plain work or anything to do but all your neighborhood is so poor that I fear I shall want work except maybe Dame Mumford can help me to something from any good family she is acquainted with here what a sad thing it is I have been brought up wrong as matters stand for you know my good lady now in heaven loved singing and dancing and as she would have it I had a voice she made me learn both and often and often has she made me sing her an innocent song and a good Psalm too and dance before her and I must learn to flower and draw too and to work fine work with my needle why all this too I have got pretty tolerably at my fingers end as they say and she used to praise me and was a good judge of such matters well now what is all this to the purpose as things have turned out why no more or less but that I am like the grasshopper in the fable which I have read of in my lady's book as follows footnote see the asops fables which have lately been selected and reformed from those of Sir Arla Strange and the most eminent mythologists and footnote as the ants were airing their provisions one winter a hungry grasshopper as suppose it was poor I the charity of them they told him that he should have rotten summer if he would not have wanted in winter well says the grasshopper but I was not idle neither for I sung out the whole season nay then said they you'll even do well to make a merry year of it and dance in winter to the time you sung in summer so I shall make a fine figure with my singing and my dancing nay I shall be unfit even for a mayday holiday time for these minuettes, frigadoons and French dances that I have been practicing will make me but ill company for my milk-made companions that are to be to be sure I had better as things stand have learned to wash and scour and brew and bake and such like but I hope if I can't get work and can meet with a place to learn these soon if anybody have the goodness to bear with me till I am able for notwithstanding what my master says I hope I have an humble and teachable mind and next to God's grace that's all my comfort for I shall think nothing too mean that is honest it may be a little hard at first but woe to my proud heart if I find it so on trial for I will make it bend to its condition or break it I have read of a good bishop that was to be burnt for his religion and he tried how he could bear it by putting his fingers into the lighted candle so I, to other day, tried when Rachel's back was turned if I could not scour a pewter plate she had begun I see I could do it by degrees it only blistered my hand in two places all the matter is if I could get plain work enough I need not spoil my fingers but if I can't I hope to make my hands as red as a blood pudding and as hard as a beach and trencher to accommodate them to my condition but I must break off here somebody coming tis only our Hannah with a message from Mrs. Jervis but hold here somebody else well it is only Rachel I am as much frightened as were the city mouse and the country mouse in the same book of fables had everything that stirs I have a power of these things to entertain you with in winter evenings when I come home if I can but get work with a little time for reading I hope we shall be very happy over our peat fires what made me hint to you that I should bring but little with me is this you must know I didn't tend to do as I have this afternoon and that is I took all my clothes and all my linen as I had before told Mrs. Jervis I intended to do and I said it is now Monday Mrs. Jervis and I am to go away on Thursday morning with times so though I know you don't doubt my honesty I beg you will look over my poor matters and let everyone have what belongs to them for said I you know I am resolved to take with me only what I can properly call my own said she I did not know I drift then to be sure she meant well but I did not thank her for it when I did know it let your things be brought down in the green room and I will do anything you will have me do with all my heart said I green room or anywhere but I think you might step up and see them as they lie however I fetched them down and laid them in three parcels as before and when I had done I went down to call her up to look now it seems she had prepared my master for this scene unknown to me and in this green room was a closet with a sash door and a curtain before it for there she puts her sweet meats and such things and she did it it seems to turn his heart as knowing what I intended I suppose that he should make me take the things for if he had I should have made money of them to help us when we got together for to be I could never have appeared in them well as I was saying he had got unknown to me into this closet I suppose while I went to call Mrs. Jervis and since she owned to me it was at his desire when she told him something of what I intended or else would not have done it though I have reason I am sure to remember the last closet work so I said when she came up here Mrs. Jervis is the first parcel I will spread it all abroad these are the things my good lady gave me in the first place said I and so I went on describing the clothes and linen my lady had given me mingling blessings as I proceeded for her goodness to me and when I had turned over that parcel I said well so much for the first parcel Mrs. Jervis that was my lady's gifts now I come to the presence of my dear virtuous master do you know closet for that Mrs. Jervis she laughed and said I never saw such a comical girl in my life but go on I will Mrs. Jervis said I as soon as I have opened the bundle for I was as brisk and as pert as could be little thinking who heard me now here Mrs. Jervis said I are my ever worthy master's presence and then I particularized all those in the second bundle after which I turned to my own and said now Mrs. Jervis comes poor Pamela's bundle and a little one it is to the others first here is a calico nightgown that I used to wear a mornings it will be rather too good for me when I get home but I must have something then there is a quilted calamanko coat and a pair of stockings I bought of the peddler and my straw hat with blue strings and a remnant of Scott's cloth which will make the shirts and two shifts the same I have on for my poor father and mother and here are four other shifts one the fellow to that I have on another pretty good one and the other two old fine ones that will serve me to turn and wind with at home for they are not worth leaving behind me and here are two pairs of shoes I have taken the lace off which I will burn and maybe will fetch me some little matter at a pinch what do you laugh for Mrs. Dervis said I why you are like in April day you cry and laugh in a breath well let me see I here is a cotton handkerchief I bought of the peddler there should be another somewhere oh here it is and here too are my new button it mintens and this is my new flannel coat the fellow to that I have on and in this parcel pinned together are several pieces of printed calico remnants of silks and such like that if good luck should happen and I should get work would serve for robins and facings and such like uses and here too are a pair of pockets they are too fine for me but I have no worse bless me said I I did not think I had so many good things well Mrs. Dervis said I you have seen all my store and I will now sit down and tell you a piece of my mind be brief then said she my good girl for she was afraid she said afterwards that I would say too much why then the case is this I am to enter upon a point of equity and conscience Mrs. Dervis and I must beg if you love me you let me have my own way those things there of my ladies I can have no claim to so as to take them away I cannot wear them me supposing I was to wear them in her service and to do credit to her bountiful heart but since I am to be turned away you know I cannot wear them at my poor fathers for I should bring all the little village upon my back and so I resolve not to have them then Mrs. Dervis said I I have far less right to these of my worthy masters for you see what was his intention were to be the price of my shame and if I could make use of them I should think I should never prosper with them and besides you know Mrs. Dervis if I could not do the good gentleman's work why should I take his wages so in conscience in honor in everything I have nothing to say to thee thou second wicked bundle but said I come to my arms my dear third parcel the companion of my poverty and the witness of my honesty and may I never deserve the least reg that is contained in thee when I forfeit a title to that innocence that I hope will ever be the pride of my life and then I am sure it will be my highest comfort at my death when all the riches and pumps of the world will be worse than the vilest regs that can be worn by beggars and so I hugged my third bundle but said I Mrs. Dervis and she left to hear me one thing more I have to trouble you with and that's all there are four guineas you know that came out of my good ladies pocket when she died that was some silver my master gave me now these same four guineas I sent to my poor father and mother and they have broken them but would take them up if I could and if you think it should be so it shall but pray tell me honestly your mind my ladies death do you think as I had no wages I may be supposed to be quits by quits I cannot mean that my poor services should be equal to my ladies goodness for that's impossible but as all her learning and education of me as matters have turned will be of little service to me now for it had been better for me to have been brought up to hard labor to be sure for that I must turn to it last if I can't get a place you know in places too one is subject to such temptations as are dreadful to think of so I say by quits I only mean as I return all the good things she gave me whether I may not set my little services against my keeping because as I said my learning is not now in the question and I am sure my dear good lady would have thought so had she lived but that too is now out of the question well then if so I would ask whether in above this year that I have lived with my master as I am resolved to leave all his gifts behind me I may not have earned besides my keeping these four guineas and these poor clothes here upon my back and in my third bundle now tell me your mind freely without favor or affection alas my dear girl says she you make me unable to speak to you at all to be sure will be the highest affront that can be offered for you to leave any of these things behind you and you must take all your bundles with you or my master will never forgive you well well Mrs. Jervis said I I don't care I have been too much used to be snubbed and hardly treated by my master of late I have done him no harm and I shall always pray for him and wish him happy but I don't deserve these things and I don't then I can't wear them if I should take them so they can be of no use to me and I trust I shall not want the poor pittance that is all I desire to keep life and soul together bread and water I can live upon Mrs. Jervis with content water I shall get anywhere and if I can't get me bread I will live like a bird in winter upon hips and haws and at other times upon pig nuts or anything so what occasion have I for these things but all I ask is about these four guineas and if you think I need not return them that is all I want to know to be sure my dear you need not said she you have well earned them by that waistcoat only no I think not so in that only but in the linen and other things do you think I have yes yes said she and more and my keeping allowed for I mean said I and these poor clothes on my back besides remember that Mrs. Jervis yes my dear odd one no doubt you have well then said I I am as happy as a princess I am quite as rich as I wish to be and once more my dear third bundle I will hug thee to my bosom and I beg you'll say nothing of all this till I am gone that my master mean to be so angry but that I may go in peace for my heart without other matters will be ready to break to part with you all now Mrs. Jervis said I as to one matter more and that is my master's last usage of me before Mr. Longman said she pretty dear Pamela step up to my chamber and fetch me a paper I left on my table there was nothing to show you in it I will said I and stepped down but it was only a fetch to take the orders of my master I found it seems he said he thought two or three times to have burst out upon me but he could not stand it and wished I might not know he was there but I tripped up again so nimbly for there was no paper that I just saw his back as if coming out of that green room next to it the first door that was open I whipped in and shut the door and bolted it oh Mrs. Jervis said I what have you done by me I see I can't confide in anybody I am beset on all hands wretched wretched Pamela where shall thou expect a friend if Mrs. Jervis joins to betray thee thus she made so many protestations telling me all and that he owned I had made him eyes two or three times and said she hoped it would have a good effect and remembered me that I had said nothing but what would rather move compassion than resentment that I forgave her but oh that I was safe from this house for never poor creature sure was so flustered as I have been so many months to gather I am called down from this most tedious scribble I wonder what will next befall your dutiful daughter Mrs. Jervis says she is sure I shall have the chariot to carry me home to you though this will look too great for me yet it will show as if I was not turned away quite in disgrace the traveling chariot is come from Lincolnshire and I fancy I shall go in that for the other is quite grand End of Section 5 Section 6 of Pamela or Virtue Rewarded this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Pamela or Virtue Rewarded by Samuel Richardson Section 6 Letter 30 my dear father and mother I write again though may be I shall bring it to you in my pocket for I shall have no writing nor writing time I hope when I come to you this is Wednesday morning and I shall I hope set out to you tomorrow morning but I have had more trials and more vaccinations but of another complexion too a little though all from the same quarter yesterday my master after he came from hunting sent for me I went with great terror for I expected he would storm and be in a fine passion with me for my freedom of speech before I began first with submission to disarm his anger and I fell upon my knees as soon as I saw him and said good sir let me beseech you as you hope to be forgiven yourself and for the sake of my dear good lady your mother who recommended me to you with her last words to forgive me all my faults and only grant me this favor the last I shall ask you that you will let me depart your house with peace and quietness of mind that I may take such a leave of my dear fellow servants as befits me and that my heart be not quite broken he took me up in a kinder manner than ever I had known and he said shut the door Pamela and come to me in my closet I want to have a little serious talk with you how can I sir said I how can I and wrung my hands I pray sir let me go out of your presence beseech you by the God that made me said he I'll do you no harm shut the parlor door and come to me in my library he then went into his closet which is his library and full of rich pictures besides a noble apartment though called a closet and next the private garden into which it has a door that opens I shut the parlor door as he bid me but stood at it irresolute place some confidence in me said he surely you may when I have spoken thus solemnly so I crept towards him with trembling feet and my heart throbbing through my handkerchief come in said he when I bid you I did so pray sir said I pity and spare me I will said he as I hope to be saved he sat down upon a rich setee hold of my hand and said don't doubt me Pamela from this moment I will no more consider you as my servant and I desire you'll not use me with ingratitude for the kindness I am going to express towards you this a little emboldened me and he said holding both my hands between his you have too much wit and good sense not to discover that I in spite of my heart and all the pride of it you yes look up to me my sweet faced girl I must say I love you and have put on a behavior to you that was much against my heart in hopes to frighten you from your reservedness you see I own it ingenuously and don't play your sex upon me for it I was unable to speak and he seeing me too much oppressed with confusion to go on in that strain said well Pamela let me know what situation of life is your father I know he is a poor man but is he as low and as honest as he was when my mother took you then I could speak a little and with a down look and I felt my face glow like fire I said yes sir as poor and as honest too and that is my pride says he I will do something for him if it be not your fault and make all your family happy all sir said I he is happier already than ever he can be if his daughter's innocence is to be the price of your favor and I beg you will not speak to me on the only side that can wound me I have no design of that sort said he oh sir said I tell me not so tell me not so tis easy said he for me to be the making of your father for me to be the rendering you well sir said I if this can be done let me know how and all I can do with innocence shall be the study and practice of my life but oh what can such a poor creature as I do and do my duty said he I would have you stay a week or fortnight only and behave yourself with kindness to me I stoop to beg it of you and you shall see all shall turn out your expectation I see said he you are going to answer otherwise than I would have you and I begin to be vexed I should thus meanly sue and so I will say that your behavior before honest long men when I used you as I did and you could so well have vindicated yourself has quite charmed me and though I am not pleased with all you said yesterday while I was in the closet yet you have moved me more than before and I am awakened to see more worthiness in you than ever I saw in any lady in the world all the servants from the highest to the lowest dot upon you instead of envying you and look upon you in so superior a light as speaks what you ought to be I have seen more of your letters than you imagine this surprised me and I'm quite overcome with your charming manner of writing free so easy and many of your sentiments so much above your years and your sex and I'll put together makes me as I tell you love you to extravagance now Pamela when I have stooped to acknowledge all this oblige me only to stay another week or fortnight to give me time to bring about some certain affairs and you shall see how much you may find your account in it I trembled to find my poor heart giving way oh good sir said I spare a poor girl that cannot look up to you and speak my heart is full and why should you wish to undo me only oblige me said he to stay a fortnight longer and John shall carry word to your father that I will see him in the time either here or at the swan in his village oh sir said I my heart will burst but on my bended knees I beg you to let me go tomorrow as I designed and don't offer to tempt a poor creature whose whole will would be to do yours if my virtue would permit I shall permit it said he for I intend no injury to you God is my witness impossible said I I cannot sir believe you after what has passed how many ways are there to undo poor creatures good God protect me this one time and send me but to my dear father's caught in safety strange didn't fate said he that when I speak to you so solemnly I can't be believed what should I believe sir said I what can I believe what have you said but that I am to stay a fortnight longer and what then is to become of me my pride of birth and fortune said he since they cannot obtain credit with you but must add to your suspicions will not let me descend all at once and I ask you but a fortnight stay that after this declaration I may pacify those proud demands upon me how my heart robbed and I began for I did not know what I did to say the Lord's prayer none of your beads to me Pamela said he thou art a perfect none I think but I said aloud with my eyes lifted up to heaven lead me not into temptation but deliver me from evil oh my good God he hugged me in his arms and said well my dear girl then you stay this fortnight and you shall see what I will do for you I'll leave you a moment and walk into the next room to give you time to think of it I'll show you I have no design upon you well this I thought did not look amiss he went out and I was tortured with 20 different doubts in a minute sometimes I thought that to stay a week or fortnight longer in this house to obey him while Mrs. Jervis was with me could do no great harm but then thought I how do I know what I may be able to do I have withstood his anger his kindness how shall I stand that well I hope thought I by the same protecting grace in which I will always confide but then what has he promised why he will make my poor father and mother's life comfortable oh said I to myself that is a rich thought but let me not dwell on it for fear I should indulge it to my ruin what can he do for me poor girl as I am what can his greatness stoop to he talks thought I of his pride of heart and pride of condition oh these are in his head and in his heart too or he would not confess them to me at such an instant well then thought I this can be only to seduce me he has promised nothing but I am to see what he will do if I stay a fortnight and this fortnight thought I again is no such great matter and I shall see in a few days how he carries it but then when I again reflected upon this distance between him and me and his now open declaration of love as he called it and that after this he would talk with me on that subject more plainly than ever and I shall be less armed maybe to withstand him and then I be thought myself why if he meant no dishonor he should not speak before Mrs. Jervis and the odious frightful closet came again into my head and my narrow escape upon it and how easy it might be for him to send Mrs. Jervis and the maids out of the way and so that all the mischief he designed me might be brought about in less than that time I resolved to go away and trust all to providence and nothing to myself and how I ought to be thankful for this resolution as you shall hear but just as I have written to this place John sends me word that he is going this minute your way and so I will send you so far as I have written and hope by tomorrow night to ask your blessings at your own poor but happy abode and tell you the rest by word of mouth and so I rest till then and forever your dutiful daughter I am with you to see what dangers I have been enabled to escape and though I bring it along with me I told you my resolution my happy resolution as I have reason to think it and just then he came in again with great kindness in his looks and said I make no doubt Pamela you will stay this fortnight to oblige me I knew not how to frame my words so as to deny and yet not make him storm forgive sir your poor distressed servant I know I cannot possibly deserve any favor at your hands consistent with virtue and I beg you will let me go to my poor father why said he thou art the various fool that I ever knew I tell you I will see your father I'll send for him hither tomorrow in my traveling chariot if you will and I'll let him know what I intend to do for him and you what sir I ask you can that be your honor's noble estate may easily make him happy and not unuseful perhaps to you in some respect or other but what price am I to pay for all this you shall be happy as you can wish said he I do assure you and here I will now give you this purse in which are fifty guineas which I will allow your father yearly and find an employee suitable to his liking to deserve that and more Pamela he shall never want depend upon it I would have given you still more for him but that perhaps you'd suspect I intended it as a design upon you oh sir said I take back your guineas I will not touch one nor will my father I am sure till he knows what is to be done for them and particularly what is to become of me why then Pamela said he suppose I find a man of probity and gentile calling for a husband for you that shall make you a gentle woman as long as you live I want no husband sir said I for now I began to see him in all his black colors yet being so much in his power I thought I would a little dissemble but said he you are so pretty that go where you will you will never be free from the some or other of our sex and I shall think I don't answer the care of my dying mother for you who committed you to me if I don't provide you a husband to protect your virtue and your innocence and a worthy one I have thought of for you oh black perfidious creature thought I what an implement art though in the hands of Lucifer to ruin the innocent heart yet still I dissemble both him and the place I was in but whom praise sir have you thought of why said he young Mr. Williams my chaplain in Lincolnshire who will make you happy does he know sir said I anything of your honors intentions know my girl said he and kissed me much against my will for his very breath was now poisoned to me but his dependence upon my favor your beauty and merit will make him rejoice at my kindness to him well sir said I then it is time enough to consider of this matter and it cannot hinder me from going to my father's for what will staying a fortnight longer signified to this your honors care and goodness may extend to me there as well as here and Mr. Williams and all the world shall know that I am not ashamed of my father's poverty he would kiss me again and I said if I am to think of Mr. Williams or anybody I beg you'll not be so free with me that is not pretty I'm sure well said he but you stay this next fortnight and in that time I'll have both Williams and your father here for I will have the match concluded in my house and when I have brought it on you shall settle it as you please together meantime take and send only these fifty pieces to your father as an earnest of my favor and I'll make you all happy sir said I I beg at least two hours to consider of this I shall said he be gone out in one hour and I would have you right to your father what I propose and John shall carry it on purpose and he shall take the purse with him for the good old man if you approve it sir said I I will then let you know in one hour my resolution do so said he and gave me another kiss and let me go oh how I rejoiced I had got out of his clutches so I write to you this that you may see how matters stand for I am resolved to come away if possible base wicked treacherous gentlemen as he is so here was a trap laid for your poor Pamela I tremble think of it oh what a scene of wickedness was here laid down for all my wretched life black hearted wretch how I hate him for at first as you'll see by what I have written he would have made me believe other things and this of Mr. Williams I suppose came into his head after he walked out from his closet to give himself time to think how to delude me better but the covering was now too thin and easy to be seen through I went to my chamber and the first thing I did was to write to him for I thought it was best not to see him again if I could help it and I put it under his parlor door after I had copied it as follows honored sir your last proposal to me convinces me that I ought not to stay but to go to my father if it were but to ask his advice about Mr. Williams and I am so set upon it to be persuaded so honored sir with a thousand thanks for all favors I will set out tomorrow early and the honor you designed me as Mrs. Jervis tells me of your chariot there will be no occasion for because I can hire I believe farmer Brady's chase so begging you will not make it amiss I shall ever be your dutiful servant as to the purse sir my poor father to be sure to tell me if I take it till he can know how to deserve it which is impossible so he has just now sent Mrs. Jervis to tell me that since I am resolved to go go I may and the traveling chariot shall be ready but it shall be worse for me for that he will never trouble himself about me as long as he lives well so I get out of the house I care not only I should have been glad I could send you my dear parents happy I cannot imagine the reason of it but John who I thought was gone with my last is but now going and he sends to know if I have anything else to carry so I break off to send you this with the former I am now preparing for my journey and about taking leave of my good fellow servants and if I have not time to write I must tell you the rest when I am so happy as to be with you one word more I slip in a paper of verses on my going sad poor stuff but as they come from me you'll not dislike them maybe I showed them to Mrs. Jervis and she liked them and took a copy and made one sing them to her and in the green room too but I looked into the closet first I will only add that I am your dutiful daughter let me just say that he has this moment sent me five guineas by Mrs. Jervis as a present for my pocket so I shall be very rich for as she brought them I thought I might take them he says he won't see me and I may go when I will in the morning and Lincoln sure Robin shall drive me but he is so angry he orders that nobody shall go out at the door with me not so much as into the coach yard well I can't help it not I but does not this expose himself more than me but John waits and I would have brought this and the other myself but he says he has put it up among other things and so can take both as well as one John is very good and very honest I am under great obligations to him I'd give him a guinea now I'm so rich if I thought he'd take it I hear nothing of my ladies clothes and those my master gave me for I told Mrs. Jervis I would not take them but I fancy by a word or two that was dropped they will be sent after me dear sirs what a rich Pamela you'll have if they should but as I can't wear them if they do I don't desire them and if I have them we'll turn them into money as I can have opportunity well no more I'm in a fearful hurry versus on my going away one the low servants dear attend to these few lines which I have penned I'm sure they're from your honest friend and wish her well poor Pamela two I from a state of low degree was placed in this good family too high a fate for humble me the helpless hopeless Pamela three yet though my happy lot was so joyful I homered from it go no less content when poor and low then here you found your Pamela four for what indeed is happiness but conscience innocence and peace and that's a treasure I possess thank heaven that gave it Pamela five my future lot I cannot know but this I'm sure where I go whatever I am whatever I do I'll be the grateful Pamela six no sad regrets my heart annoy I'll pray for all your peace and joy from master high to Scully and boy for all your loves to Pamela seven one thing or two I've more to say God's holy will be sure obey and for our master always pray as ever shall poor Pamela eight poor oh we pity should the great instead of envying their estate temptations always on a wait exempt from which are such as we nine their riches gay deceitful snares enlarge their fears increase their cares their servants joy surpasses theirs at least so judges Pamela ten your parents and relations love let them your duty ever prove and you'll be blessed by heaven above as will I hope poor Pamela eleven for if ashamed I error could be of my dear parents low degree what lot had been too mean for me unblessed unvirtuous Pamela twelve thrice happy may you ever be each one in his and her degree and sirs when are you think of me pray for content to Pamela thirteen pray for her wished content and peace and rest assured she'll never cease to pray for all your joys increase while life is lent to Pamela fourteen on God all future good depends serve him and so my son it ends with thank you thank you honest friends for all your loves to Pamela here it is necessary the reader should know that the fair Pamela's trials were not yet over but the worst were to come at a time when she thought them at an end and that she was returning to her father for when her master found her virtue was not to be subdued and he had in vain tried to conquer his passion for her being a gentleman of pleasure and intrigue he had ordered his Lincoln sure coachman to bring his traveling chariot from thence not caring to trust his Burford sure coachman who with the rest of the servants so greatly loved and honored the fair damsel and having given him instructions accordingly and prohibited the other servants on pretence of resenting Pamela's behavior from accompanying her any part of the road he drove her five miles on the way to her father's and then turning off crossed the country and carried her onwards toward his Lincoln sure estate it is also to be observed that the messenger of her letters to her father who so often pretended business that way was an implement in his master's and employed by him for that purpose and always gave her letters first to him and his master used to open and read them and then send them on by which means as he hints to her as she observes in her letter 30 he was no stranger to what she wrote thus every way was the poor virgin be set and the whole will show the base arts of designing men to gain their wicked ends and how much it behooves the fair sex to stand upon her guard against artful contrivances especially when riches and power conspire against innocence and low estate a few words more will be necessary to make the sequel better understood the intriguing gentleman thought fit however to keep back from her father her three last letters in which she mentions his concealing himself to hear her partitioning out her clothes his last effort to induce her to stay a fortnight his rigid proposal of the chaplain and her hopes of speedily seeing them as also her verses and to send himself a letter to her father which is as follows good men Andrews you will wonder to receive a letter from me but I think I am obliged to let you know that I have discovered the strange correspondence carried on between you and your daughter so injurious to my honor and reputation and which I think you would not have encouraged till you knew there were sufficient grounds for these aspersions which she so plentifully casts upon me something possibly there might be in what she has written from time to time but believe me with all her pretended simplicity and innocence I never knew so much romantic invention as she is mistress of in short the girls head turned by romances and such idle stuff to which she has given herself up ever since her kind ladies death and she assumes heirs as if she was a mirror of perfection and everybody had a design upon her don't mistake me however I believe her very honest and very virtuous but I have found out also that she is carrying on a sort of correspondence or love affair with a young clergyman that I hope in time to provide for but who at present is destitute of any subsistence but my favor what would be the consequence can you think of two young folks who have nothing in the world to trust to of their own to come together with a family multiplying upon them before they have bred to eat for my part I have too much kindness to them both not to endeavor to prevent it if I can and for this reason I have sent her out of his way for a little while till I can bring them both to better consideration and I would not therefore have you be surprised you don't see your daughter so soon as you might possibly expect yet I do assure you upon my honor that she shall be safe and inviolate and I hope you don't doubt me not withstanding any heirs she may have given herself upon my jocular pleasantry to her and perhaps a little innocent romping with her so usual with young folks of the two sexes when they have been long acquainted and grown up together for pride in my talent as she is a mighty letter writer I hope she has had the duty to apprise you of her intrigue with the young clergymen and I know not whether it meets with your countenance but now she is absent for a little while for I know he would have followed her to your village if she had gone home and there perhaps they would have ruined one another by marrying I doubt not I shall bring him to see his interest and that he engages not before to provide for a wife and when that can be done let them come together in God's name for me I expect not to be answered on this head but by your good opinion and the confidence you may repose in my honor being your hearty friend to serve you P.S. I find my man John has been the manager of the correspondence in which such liberties have been taken with me I shall soon in a manner that becomes me let the saucy fellow know how much I resent his part of the affair it is hard thing that a man of my character in the world should be used thus freely by his own servants it is easy to guess at the poor old man's concern upon reading this letter from a gentleman of so much consideration he knew not what course to take and had no manner of doubt of his poor daughter's innocence and that foul play was designed her yet he sometimes hoped the best and was ready to believe the surmised correspondence between the clergyman and her having not received the letters she wrote which would have cleared up that affair but after all he resolved as well as to quiet his own as her mother's uneasiness to undertake a journey to the squires and leaving his poor wife to excuse him to the farmer who employed him he set out that very evening late as it was and traveling all night found himself soon after daylight at the gate of the gentleman before the family was up and there he sat down to rest himself till he should see somebody stirring the grooms were the first he saw coming out to water their horses and he asked in so distressful a manner what was become of Pamela that they thought him crazy and said why what have you to do with Pamela old fellow get out of the horse's way where is your master said the poor man pray gentlemen don't be angry my heart's almost broken he never gives anything at the door I assure you says one of the grooms so you lose your labor I am not a beggar yet said the poor old man I want nothing of him but my Pamela oh my child my child I'll be hanged says one of them if this is not Mrs. Pamela's father indeed indeed said he wringing his hands I am and weeping where is my child where is my Pamela why father said one of them we beg your pardon but she has gone home to you how long have you been come from home oh but last night said he I have traveled all night is the squire at home or is he not yes but he is not stirring though said the groom as yet thank God for that said he thank God for that then I hope I may be permitted to speak to him anon they asked him to go in and he stepped into the stable and sat down on the stairs there wiping his eyes and sighing so sadly that it grieved the servants to hear him the family was soon raised with a report of Pamela's father coming to inquire after his daughter and the maids would feign have had him go into the kitchen but Mrs. Jervis having been told of his coming arose and hastened down to her parlor and took him in with her and there heard all his sad story and read the letter she wept bitterly but yet endeavored before him to hide her concern and said well good men Andrews I can't help weeping at your grief but I hope there is no occasion let nobody see this letter whatever you do I daresay your daughter is safe well but said he I see you madame know nothing about her if all was right so good a gentle woman as you are would not have been a stranger to this to be sure you thought she was with me said she my master does not always inform his servants of his proceedings but you need not doubt his honor you have his hand for it and you may see he can have no design upon her but he is not from hence and does not talk of going hence oh that is all I have to hope for said he that is all indeed but said he and was going on when the report of his coming had reached the squire who came down in his morning gown and slippers into the parlor where he and Mrs. Jervis were talking what's the matter good men Andrews said he what's the matter oh my child said the good old man give me my child I beseech you why I thought says the squire that I had satisfied you about her sure you have not the letter I sent you written with my own hand yes yes but I have sir said he and that brought me hither and I have walked all night poor man returned he with great seeming compassion I am sorry for it truly my daughter has made a strange racket in my family and if I thought it would have disturbed you so much I would have even let her go home but what I did was to serve her and you too she is very safe I do assure you good men Andrews and you may have my honor for it I would not injure her for the world do you think I would Mrs. Jervis no I hope not sir said she hope not said the poor man who do I but praise her give me my child that is all I desire and I'll take care no clergyman shall come near her why London is a great way off said the squire and I can't send for her back presently what then said he have you sent my poor Pamela to London I would not have said it so replied the squire but I assure you upon my honor she is quite safe and satisfied and will quickly inform you of it by letter she is in a reputable family no less than a bishops and is to wait on his lady till I get the matter over that I mentioned to you oh how shall I know this replied he what said the squire pretending anger am I to be doubted do you believe I can have any view upon your daughter and if I had do you think I would take such methods as these to effect it and now forget us whom you talk us to oh sir said he I beg your pardon but consider my dear child is in this case let me but know what bishop and where and I will travel to London on foot to see my daughter and then be satisfied why good men Andrews I think you have read romances as well as thy daughter and my heads turned with them may I have not my word taken I think once more I would offer anything dishonorable to your daughter is there anything looks like it pretty man recollect a little who I am and if I am not to be believed what signifies talking why sir said he pray forgive me but there is no harm to say what bishops or whereabouts what and so you'd go troubling his lordship with your impertinent fears and stories will you be satisfied if you letter from her within a week it may be less if she be not negligent to assure you all is well with her why that said the poor man will be some comfort well then said the gentleman I can't answer for her negligence if she don't write and if she should send a letter to you Mrs. Jervis for I desire not to see it I have had trouble enough about her already be sure you send it by a man and horse receive it to be sure I will answered she thank your honor said the good man and then I must wait with as much patience as I can for a week which will be a year to me I tell you said the gentleman it must be her own fault if she don't write for it is what I insisted upon for my own reputation and I shan't stir from this house I assure you till she has heard from and that to her own satisfaction God bless your honor said the poor man as you say and mean truth amen amen good man Andrew's said he you see I am not afraid to say amen so Mrs. Jervis make the good man as welcome as you can and let me have no uproar about the matter he then whispering her bit her give him a couple of guineas to bear his charges home telling him to stay there till the letter came, if he would, and be a witness, that he intended honorably and not to stir from his house for one while. The poor old man stayed and dined with Mrs. Jervis, with some tolerable ease of mind, in hopes to hear from his beloved daughter in a few days, and then accepting the present, returned to his own house, and resolved to be as patient as possible.