 Welcome to Dare to Dream. This is Debbie Dashinger and thrilled to have all of you join in with today's conversation We're going to be talking about fear and values and ways that you can really optimize your life First I want to just give a big shout out of intention and thankfulness for intention to start to be created This show has been nominated for two people podcast choice awards very psyched about that and for those of you who subscribe Thank you and if you would like to if you'd like this level of conversation to come into your inbox to make it super easy You can subscribe to YouTube slash Debbie Dashinger or you can listen to me on the radio I heart radio BBS radio radio public as well as many of the major Podcast sites such as Stitcher and Spreaker and way more So do take a minute to go there subscribe and leave Dare to Dream a five star review The reason is other people who want this level of conversation can find it with great ease when you let them know it exists a Big shout out also to dr. Dane here and access consciousness for sponsoring the show and for being a part of Energy healing and transformation out into the world if you want to know more about them go to dr. Dane here H e r calm as well as access consciousness calm They've got products and courses all around the world that will help you in your growth So what if you could clarify your life in your career direction and be more self-governed and empowered? Well, my guest today is dr. Jondi Martini who is considered one of the world's leading authorities on human behavior and personal empowerment and the knowledge He shares is a culmination of 39 years of cross disciplinary research as an educator He travels full-time around the world teaching and has appeared many documentaries including the secret the opus the compass and oh My god alongside celebrities such as Hugh Jackman seal and Ringo star you can learn out learn more about him at D doctor D. Martini. I'm gonna spell that for you dr. D E M a R T I N I Dot calm and I highly recommend you do Dr. D. Martini welcome back to dare to dream. Thank you. Has it has it been a while since we've done it? I'm now 47 years since I've been doing this. I think I'm I'm aging a bit I'm not sure Here or time is frozen one or the other. I believe it was said I've been doing this over 12 years So it was easily eight years ago and you are It's been a while since we've gotten to do it. So yeah At 50 I started going back. So I'm now 35. I know you look at your amazing five and my daughter's 35 we're crossing. She said when we cross age She goes up to 36. I go down to 34. She said everything should legitimate. We just need to cross bank accounts I told her what way But wisdom is another big one there. I mean, it's great that you're getting younger and retaining the wisdom, right? That's really all about Yeah, I have to tell you I'm reading your book right now the values factor and I I really should hold it up because it is so full of highlights Your book is blowing my mind because right from the get-go you start getting into a conversation about voids and values and you answered Something that has always been so confusing. So if it's okay with you I want to tell you a little background about why it was confusing and what your illumination is creating sure I Once was with a girlfriend about five years ago. We were at a local mall Beautiful place. We're in Bloomingdale's. She showed me her favorite designer and She picked up a shirt and said oh god I would love to have this shirt and she looked at the price tag went sort of rolled her eyes and went well You know maybe in another life. Maybe not now. I can never afford that and put it back And I stood there and said that's crazy You literally spend 15 to 25 thousand dollars in a blink for a year program But you wouldn't spend to $250 on a beautiful blouse that you admire and I never understood that I have another friend who does real estate He works his bum off and yet where he spends all his time Which has been really incongruent for me He is very healthy. He cooks everything from scratch. He hikes. He works out He digest podcasts like his IQs off the hook, but it's really none of it got to do with real estate and His real estate business is not doing that well And I've always thought what is going on there. It's so strange to me. It's a miss and your book Starts out clearly by stating look at where your attention is Look at where your intention is look at what you value in your life Because if you're not living that life, that's why you'll see the struggle and the incongruencies And so I'd love you to just talk about that because I feel like you could open up so much for people around this subject Well, that's a it's an important topic. I was just in India a couple days ago and talking on that very topic Because many people I can ask people how many of you want to be financially independent And I can be in front of 20,000 people and all of a sudden they'll all have the hands up The whole room would just go nuts. Yeah, maybe you know, we'll be happy And I said after they've all pretty well hit put their hands up like 99 to 100% of the people I'll say how many of you now are? And all the hands go down And less than 1% I had seven one talk at 5,000 people I had seven people put their hands up for financial independence now if I'm into talking to a group of executives It may be a much higher but Worldwide it's less 1% So I said isn't it interesting that 99 to 100% of the people have their hands up I want to be financially independent but less than 1% do it and The reason is the ones that say they want to do it, but don't really have the values to actually do what it takes to do it They have the fantasy of the lifestyles of rich and famous and they have a higher value on buying consumable Items that appreciate in value. So when they put the money out there, it goes down in value not going up And the people that are the few percent or 1% or less That really do have a wealth building They put their money into things that are true assets to go up and appreciate in value They don't want to spend their money on something that's not going to give them a return on investment Where everybody else wants immediate gratification is at a long-term return And they don't understand that the hierarchy of their values dictates the financial destiny And if you have a higher value on immediate gratifying consumables appreciate more than a long-term vision And value on appreciable asset building Probability of having financial independence is extremely low unless some sort of miraculous thing happens a donation But even people that receive large sums of money if through inheritance They will sometimes spend their money on depreciables and it'll disappear In fact, at one time in South Africa I asked a very large group. I said, okay, we're going to do a little experiment to prove this point We're going to have everybody write down in one minute. You have one minute to write down the 10 things you would do immediately If you were given 10 million u.s. Dollars right now and I imagine I gave them all 10 million u.s. Dollars You have one minute to decide exactly where that money is going to go On your mark get set go and they have a minute to quickly write down. Okay. What am I going to do with that 10 million dollars? And then went to the end of the minute when I say stop hand it to the person on the right Calculate how much money Is remaining that's now usable for investments And it range from two to eight hundred thousand dollars On average, but well No more than two to eight hundred thousand dollars were typically left over They bought a house. It depreciates in value. It's not it's a lifestyle not an investment house. They put rentals in They bought cars. They bought trips. They bought clothes They bought they spent their money on things that immediately went down in value the second you off I mean I had this one woman put up their shoes And if I had 10 million dollars, I would immediately go buy this this diamond ring I'd be wanting from Tiffany's right, but they just you know realize that the second you walk out of Tiffany's the value The diamond drops to one half I can testify to that Sure, you buy a condo That at least in 10 years from that will be not just where you started with but at least be doubled in value But but people don't realize That the hierarchy of their values dictates a financial destiny and the hierarchy of their values is dictating how they perceive their life Perceive things in reality make decisions and act So the hierarchy of your values is dictating pretty well everything you're doing in your life And they don't and most people don't realize that so knowing what their values are And knowing what's driving those values, which are really the voids underneath those will determine the level of congruency and fulfillment that they can have So basically what I hear you saying is that people Are living their lives as though they won the lottery No matter what amount it is it may not be a million Even if they suddenly get a thousand extra dollars, they're basically spend spend spend and at the end of the day There is really nothing for them all of that Energy went out. Well, I know a woman who no matter what she did Because she had a very high value on shoes and clothes and her appearance No matter how much money she made It would go into those things and she was struggling to pay She was behind on taxes. She wasn't able to pay her bills at the time And she when we looked at how her money came in how much money she earned It has nothing to do with how much you make it has everything to do How would you manage what you make and your hierarchy values dictate how you manage it So if all of a sudden she got the money in she immediately spent on all those things that were immediate gratifiers At the end of the month then she goes. Oh my god. I got to pay the bills I got a scrounge to figure out how to get them I can't afford them And she was always having more month at the end of the money than money at the end of the month And she was a slave to money instead of its master Yes Until you have money working for you You're working for it And if it's working for you who you're its master and if you're working for it you're its slave And people don't realize that the hierarchy their values is dictating how that's being managed And I I train people and show people and got paid to consult with people On flipping it where they can now have enough value on wealth building that the money starts working for them And without ever even increasing your income All of a sudden they go wow, I'm starting to save and invest money and now it's starting to grow for me I said yes because you had a shift in your values So if you don't have the values that go well, you can shift them There's a science on how to do that. I explained it in the book the values factor But and I've been doing it for years over 40 years I've been doing that And I and I'm absolutely certain that a person can shift their destiny because change your hierarchy values Change your destiny your destination is a result of where you're focusing Agreed so many questions. I want to start with will you give us one secret then so People obviously I'm telling you in the first 20 minutes of reading this book My mind was like exploding with Clarity like pieces. I didn't understand previously. So highly recommended the values factor Will you give us one secret therein how we can Understand and or align with the values to create some more freedom on the other end Well, every decision a person makes every perception every decision and every action that a person takes an individual takes Is based on what their values are the hierarchy their values So if you shift the values you perceive differently Let me give you an example if you're a mother and you're oh 35 years old You have three beautiful children under the age of five and your highest value is those beautiful children If you walk in a mall you will spot children's clothes children's educational items children's health items Children's entertainment items and you'll spot them. You retain where the information where you've got them You'll know how to go get them again next time efficiently But you won't see business items. You won't be buying computers it equipment That's not your value system But you may be married to a husband for instance or a wife depending on which side of the equation You are That has a high value in serial Entrepreneurism and business and they'll walk in the same mall and he won't see Children's clothes children's health items. He won't see any of that stuff He'll see computers and he'll look at what stores got the most people in it buy stock in it He will be thinking totally different because he filters his perceptual reality according to what his values are And nobody has the right or wrong values This is where a lot of people get trapped They project their values under others and expect other people to live in their values and thinking there's a right and a wrong value But the world needs every value system out there in order to function If everybody was a ceo, we wouldn't have a we wouldn't have companies at work We need all different values in there and nobody's right or wrong for them. They're just unique But whatever those are They're going to determine how you perceive and the decisions you make because every Decision you make is based on what you believe will give you the greatest advantage over disadvantage to your highest value And in the same thing in action, you won't act if it's not valuable to you You'll procrastinate hesitate frustrate, but you'll act if it's valuable to you'll take action on it So that's why you're you have an advantage whenever you're setting goals that are aligned with your highest values Compared to trying to set goals lower on the value hierarchy Because of the pressure and conformity and fitting in to other people who are protecting their values onto you And this is where a lot of people Frustrate they're they're trying to fit in instead of stand out They're trying to conform instead of build a normity And they're basically living in the shadows of people instead of standing on the shoulders of giants and what's possible in their life Because they're not living congruently with what they value most what's authentic to them But if they want to change their values, that's also doable because anytime you stack up associations advantages and benefits and pleasures and You know the pause is to a value it goes up in value list And anytime you associate drawbacks to services downsides et cetera it goes down So you can restack With your with asking quality questions and restack the list of what those values are and move them up and down I do that every week and my breakthrough experience program for people And all of a sudden a person that's an individual that hasn't been able to get ahead financially Unbelievably all of a sudden in the next six months of their life they're going man I've got $20,000 say what the hell happened because their harkin values change that made changes and decisions Change in perceptions change in actions and they had a different trajectory Your harkin values is the reason I spent so much time writing that book and putting that book together Is after 47 years of now teaching and 40 of which have been studying values Very few books are written on it. And yet it is the foundation and most important thing I found in all the 47 years about human behavior And for some reason it's just been not really written about that much I mean people talk about getting values But they think in terms of morals and ethics and how you should be Instead of what is your life demonstrate really valuable to And then we we found out, you know, I found that many times parents think well I need to give kids their values kids already are born with values We need to learn how to communicate respectfully our values in terms of their values to get them engaged So they can expand but not be suppressed and then later have a midlife crisis in their life Finally are freed and they're finally at now at the age where they're used to subordinate to people who are authorities And then they wake up and go this isn't my life. What's true for me? But giving people permission to be authentic to their own values is liberating And so I I try my best to help people identify what it is Look at what they were going to create with that and decide do they want to rearrange the values Or do I want to honor and set goals that are aligned with it? You got two options Either go and do what you love through delegating or love what you do through linking and rearranging the value system So I teach people how to devote them because there's there's a science of each and there's a value to each So for the listeners the viewers I want to Link up what dr. D martini said with my opening remarks Which is my aha upon reading his book Was going back to the woman in blooming dales who was picking up her favorite designer And saying how much she loved to own that shirt, but she couldn't possibly Is that I suddenly saw ah her values are in self-development So for her to throw all that money into growing Into healing that was important and this gentleman I talked about who's in real estate But where you see all his attention and time go Is into health into growing his mind studying Enriching himself. Oh, maybe his career is actually misaligned and that's why he's struggling Maybe he needs to be working more in this realm where his passion is and his time is ready But anytime you set a goal that is not aligned and congruent with what you value most your top value You're automatically designed Biologically designed to self-depreciate Whenever you set a goal that's high and your values you go up in value self-worth You tend to go down the list of values you lower it That's why we're here to fill our day with high priority actions High values that inspire us spontaneously intrinsically And delegate lower priority things because we don't fill our day with high priority actions that inspire us It fills up with low priority distractions It don't and the distractions and things that depreciate us our feedback mechanisms to guide us to authenticity And we think there's something wrong with this. There's nothing wrong I every weekend in the Breakthrough Experience I have people thinking there's something wrong with them There's some sort of weakness some sort of a you know problem in their life They are simply setting incongruent objectives And they don't know themselves well enough to do it and they haven't looked at what their real life Is demonstrating is valuable to them and the second they do their self-worth goes up Their their discipline goes up Because you're automatically spontaneously called to do what's high in your value And when you're trying to do something as low in your value, of course, you're going to procrastinate and go do something It's really high, but you didn't know that was really high And I look at I have a value determination process I look at how people fill their space because they fill their space with things that are valuable to and they get They toss everything that's not how they spend their time They make time find time spend time on things that are really valuable to them Where what energizes they have more energy at the end of the day than when they're doing things high in their values And they're drain at the end of the day if they don't Where they spend their money they make money find money spend money and and use money for things that are valuable to themselves Even though they may think they don't have enough money for something It's because it's not really valuable. They make money for it if it's valuable I look at where they're most ordered. I look at where they're most disciplined I look at what they think about visualized and internally dialogue to themselves about about how they want their life That shows evidence of coming true. I look at what they converse with other people about most Because they keep wanting to bring the conversation around what's valuable to them People come up to you and say how's your kids or how's your golf game or how's your investments or how's your business? How's your health when that's what's valuable to them? How's your yoga coming? And the next one is basically what inspires them what's common to the people who inspire their life What's what really inspires and brings tears of inspiration to them consistently? The next one is what is that the three most consistent persistent goals? They have that shows evidence of coming true and the last one's what are they spontaneously want to learn about read about study about watch youtube's about And dbd's about because that is what they value most and if you answer those 13 questions and look at what's common to them Repeatedly they'll reiterate themselves and reveal what's really valuable And the second you structure your life around that you'll excel And i've had people that think they have low self-esteem and have problems and they're Interverts and stuff like that the second we find out what the real value is because i mean banging their head against the wall Going against them at wrong nature trying to be what other people expect them to be And then once we get them congruent Amazingly they open up and they're confident and they do things I never have been thought they could do because now they're congruent So one of the most significant things a person can do is identify what's truly the inspiration to calling the highest value What the ancient greece called the telos And find out what that is and structure your life And be smart enough to structure your life and prioritize your life and delegate the rest and get on with doing what's really meaningful to you You'll excel you'll wake up your natural born leader. You'll expand your space and time horizons You'll wake up your executive center where you have more inspired vision more strategic planning more objectivity More uh self-governance more mastery and you won't be a victim of history. You'll be a master of your destiny I've always thought that our wounds indicate where our gifts are right if we're willing to take it on and heal it And do a journey with it and get to the other side. We have a lot of wisdom And usually the wound interestingly enough points us in the direction of our life I was so Fascinated by the fact you had different words for it. You called it voids make values and you have this amazing story As a child where you had to use braces and would you share that story about what you said to your father and what ensued Well, you know, I was born I had quite a few challenges When I was born my arm and leg were both turned in and had to wear braces on my arm and leg until I was four And um, you know, I you weren't popular with that We're running around and people avoided you. They didn't know what to deal with it because it's like a forced gump kind of thing And people kind of avoided you and you couldn't run fast. You couldn't you kind of felt constrained So at age four, I I begged my dad. I want to get out of these braces And I promised him I would keep arm and leg straight and he said if you keep your arm and leg straight fantastic If not, I got to put you back in Well, I made a very strong point to not have to go back in those things And all I want to do is run and man today I'm on the run I I next year will be 20 million miles of travel 20 million miles of travel and I think that had something to do with that way back then Then I had speech and problem when I was a one that just about one and a half or so When I was trying to do make sounds and things more effectively Uh, I had to go to a speech pathologist and had to wear, you know strings and buttons in my mouth to use muscle exercises I remember when I was a little kid I was holding a button in my mouth and In doing these exercises Because I couldn't pronounce properly and couldn't use my mouth properly I'm a professional speaker today in first grade. I was told by my first grade teacher He'll never be able to read he'll never be able to write he'll never be able to communicate because my arm was twisted and writing I wrote backwards and that didn't make sense to write And uh speaking it was was awkward I was gimped with my leg and then I also had uh dyslexia And I was left-handed which were considered sinister kids and I wasn't smart So my parents said well if I put you in these braces and your right arm is locked You'll have to learn how to use the right hand which gave me ambidextrous But I I was told in first grade I'd never be able to read never be able to write never be able to communicate Your amount thing never go very far in life Hell that's what I do today The very thing they tell you you'll never be able to do may just be the very thing you're destined to do Now I've read you know over 30,200 something books. I've now written over 100 books. I I traveled nearly 20 million miles I'm a freaking wealthy multimillionaire today And um, you know, I've reached five something billion people with radio television newspapers magazines podcasts movies all kind of stuff The weird thing they tell you you won't be able to do may just be the very destined thing absolutely and So you talked a little bit about The teacher's telling you to your face and your parents to your face. Look, he can't read is never going to be able to write He's probably not going to amount to anything which is profound and could have influenced your life And it did influence some of your life first till I was 17 until almost 18 it was my I was a street kid. I left school and I was on this on the streets till I was almost 18 years old and what I love so I want to say the ending first If someone were to say dr. John D martini to me, I would say hands down genius Genius, I followed you for years had you on the show before I've heard you in person. I think you're a genius Please tell us when You were living I would say on the streets, but you're living on the beach in a tent You almost died a woman rescues you she takes you to a health food store to hear somebody whose name will be recognized And I'd love you to say What is the affirmation he gives you to say every day to turn your life around? Well, I was uh Surfing laniakea, which is a beautiful wave On the north shore of oahu is a big one And uh, I almost died because my diaphragm stopped If you ever surfed a big wave and your diaphragm stopped, that's not a good thing to happen But I had and my hands cramped up and my whole right side of my body froze And I ended up going over the Over the wave and down into the Coral and rocks and stuff and my board was shattered and I was beat up pretty bad And I made it up to the rocks and onto the the highway the Kamehameha highway and hitchhiked into haliba And then I went into this iga supermarket and for some reason I've never drank it before and I don't think I've ever drank it since buttermilk I went back to the back and just started guzzling this buttermilk. I didn't pay for it I just started guzzling this buttermilk for some reason. I started I was having difficulty breathing and I was having cramps and I had this yearning for buttermilk And I walked out and I felt unconscious out in the parking lot To this day, I don't know how I got from the parking lot to my tent But somebody must recognize where I was in the jungle tent And I three three and a half days later Uh, I remember coming out of unconsciousness and that lady came to the tent And saw me there and she said, oh my god, you're dehydrated. She ran off and got me this fluid Juice mixture of juices and stuff and helped clean up the tent and I don't know if she had to come there I don't know if I'd be alive today But she helped clean up the tent and get me and then walked me with my arm around, you know, kind of helped me Walked me to this little vim and vigor health food store and got me some carrot juice, which I was able to stomach And I started going there daily And a few days into that I was leaving the health food store and there was a little flyer on the door A special guest speaker Paul C. Bragg for Bragg's amino acids and Bragg's health food and products A guest speaker Sunset Recreation Hall 730 Yoga class. He was a guest speaker at a yoga class And something, you know, was saying to me go there And I went there and I was amongst 35 students sitting on a little wooden floor on little mats and towels And that gentleman that night Paul Bragg, who was a pretty Determined guy He lectured and I felt he was speaking to me. I mean, I don't know about anybody else there I just know for me he was he was talking to me in my life at that moment And he basically said we have a body. We have a mind and we have a soul And the body must be guided by the mind and mine must be directed by the soul And nor to master ourselves We need to set goals for our family our self our family our community our city our state our nation our world And beyond for a hundred hundred twenty years I mean he was saying stuff that nobody ever talked to me about And I was like, well, this is this is inspiring And then he took us through this guided imagery meditation experience And in that meditation, I literally saw myself standing and walking through an archway onto a balcony in front of a million people in this giant square And I saw myself speaking I was going whoa And I was there in a virtual reality and I have Andrew Tishter from Melbourne Australia as a famous painter has painted that painting and it's sitting in my office Over that picture that I saw when I was 17. It's an inspiring painting if you saw and so I That night I made a decision that I I was going to do what this man did when someday when I'm his age I'm going to find a 17 year old young man I'm going to pass this towards to and I knew that I knew right then that I wanted I want to overcome my learning problems as the first night in my life I ever thought I might be able to be intelligent that I might be able to learn how to read and And do something with my life. I'm not that surfing wasn't great. It was but I just felt there was more And then he said that he's doing a class in the in the Fort Darussi and the other side of the island each morning And in 545 I hitchhiked in there and I was there with him 50 60 70 year old 80 year old people there with with him And for three weeks I'd learned everything I could from this guy And finally he said I'm going to back to Mount Shasta into Santa Barbara area And I'm going back and I hope to see you all someday And I'm like going wait a minute now. This is my mentor leaving And I thought I had really confident but when he started to leave and said this is his last day to speak there I was going whoa And I never had the courage to walk up to the guy because he was kind of bigger than life And I walked up to him and I said mr. Bragg you said three weeks ago That when I was in the sunset recreational that whatever I decided For my destiny my my life that night would become my destiny And he said that's right young man. He said well, sir I I saw that I was going to be a teacher and I was going to step foot in every country and travel and teach and I was going to Be intelligent And he says well, sir, I don't even know how to read. I've never read a book from cover to cover I have speech problems I dyslexia I don't know how I'm going to do that. I just know that I want to do that I don't know how to do that And he said he said that's not a problem son. You have any other problems. I said no, sir. He says here's what you do I want you to say this one statement to yourself every single day never miss a day for the rest of your life You got to promise me never miss a day for the rest of your life And he says if you say this statement every single day sooner later the cells of your body will tingle with it so the world So I said okay, and he said he said I want you to say that I am a genius and then I apply my wisdom And he made me say it over and over and over again until I close my eyes and I felt it And then he patted me on the shoulder. He said that's it. I want you to never miss a day for the rest of your life That was 47 years ago. I've never missed a day and I said every day But I now know that a genius is one who listens to the inner voice and follows the inner vision of their soul and obeys And doesn't let the world on the outside interfere with the calling on the inside of what they feel called to do so I started saying that and It just started it started shifting I started meditating every day. I started eating differently I went to the first health food store and I picked up my first book to try to read which Was chico's organic gardening in you because the guy on the cover looked like a hippie looked like me and I thought That guy could write it. I bet I could read it and I just started to Focus on the idea that I have the capacity to do more with my life And that led me to eventually hitchhiking well flying back to los angeles from honolulu hitchhiking back to texas taken at g ed Passing the g ed which is a high school equivalency because I never did finish high school Getting a college entrance exam and guessing and passing with that little statement And then I failed my first test in school and I almost gave up and then my mom said to me After I had failed the test she said son whether you become a great teacher here in a philosopher and travel the world Like you dream whether you ride back big waves in hawaii like you've done or whether you return to the streets and pan Analyzer bum your father and I are going to love you no matter what And I went after that I made a determination that I was going to amass this thing called reading and teaching philosophy and And I was going to do whatever it takes and trouble over distance and pay whatever price to give my service of love across this planet And I got up and I thanked my mom and I said i'm not going to let any human being on the face that are stopping I'm not even myself And I hugged my mom I went into my room I got a dictionary out and I started memorizing 30 words a day in the dictionary spelling them the meaning proper use of a word and a sentence And my mom helped me make sure I did not go to bed at night until 30 new words were memorized and learned Until my vocabulary was strong enough to pass school And then I started selling I just started taking off And I just wanted to read I just wanted to learn and then almost a year later my mom not even a year later My mom said john john what do you want for your birthday for christmas? Because I was born on thanksgiving day. She said she said that and I said I just want the greatest teachings on the face of the Earth the greatest writings humanity's ever created from around the world for the greatest minds And she said are you sure you don't want a t-shirt? I said no mom I want the greatest teachings on the planet from the greatest minds in every field Well, he she had a brother uncle ralph Who is a professor at mit was absolutely brilliant? And he as a gift sent two giant six by six foot by six foot wooden crates on a flatbed truck to our home With thousands of books in there They laid it on the ground and I opened up at the crowbar and filled my room with thousands of books and just read for 18 to 20 hours a day and I started to excel And I'd started having students gathered And students asked me questions and I started growing and went from the community to the city to the state to the nation To now 151 countries So it's just a matter of whatever you set your mind to and you never give up on it. You can do something It's just a matter of something. It's got to be something to truly hide your value that you're inspired by Thank you so much. That was beautiful. Wow. Thank you for really pulling back the curtain and being so real And strangely enough, thank you life for everything it brought to you That you had the resilience to make a completely different decision about what was possible and who you were choosing to be I mean, that's like a real testimony that anybody I believe that everybody inside has a calling Something that's truly high in their values And I absolutely love helping people find that and get that because you don't need motivation on the outside when you get that I don't need motivation and I'm not a motivational speaker. I don't use rhetorical persuasion to get people to do things It's not really inspiring to them. I want them to find out what it is So they don't need a motivator on the outside motivation is a symptom not a solution for great humanity We're going to take a very quick break and then we're going to be right back This is dare to dream where I feature successful fascinating leaders who have created major things in their lives and for this planet And what would you do if you knew that you could not fail? What would you choose and what would it take for you to feel completely bold and free? You can be part of the dare to dream team We are the number one transformation conversation on air and on podcast And it is available to you for free Today you can help the show by donating a dollar or more and you can make a difference go to Patreon.com slash dare to dream You have a big purpose to fulfill. I'd love to see you create that And patreon.com slash dare to dream is about supporting You and those conversations that show you better ways for your life and to create those really big awesome dreams into your reality If you are just tuning in and We have already started. This is debbie dashing her dare to dream I'm interviewing dr. John D martini. You can go to his website dr. D martini everything he's talking about Products books programs his events and he literally speaks all over the world. There are no excuses You can go see him anywhere. Just check out his events page He's a human behavioral specialist an educator and an international author John I want to go back to a point you made about something that paul braggs said Where he was talking about having that vision for now For your tribe for your community your state your city your country and beyond 120 years into the future I know that you're somebody who's big on giving back through education and social initiatives And you've educated young adults you have gone back right to give where you needed actually And people also from disadvantaged backgrounds Have there been with that philanthropy any success stories that you feel really yummy or proud about you can share Well, I got a mind blower. There's many of them I was speaking at the western hotel The western arbala hotel in capetown, south africa And there's about I don't know maybe 800 people's I couldn't say 600 800 people. I don't there's hundreds of people there and I was speaking on personal Financial management and then what you can do to turn your financial challenges into opportunities And way way in the back of the room was a young man who was about 14 years old. I did not get to meet him at night But he was there I came back that was september And then I came back in december to the same location Same audience another about 7 800 people. I don't know how many people are there and This time after I finished speaking I was Signing books and getting pictures, you know, they do today with all the iPhones and stuff and hugs and things And patiently there was this young man Waiting to the very end And I had probably 250 people At least a third of that room came up to wanted pictures and gathered around or wanted pictures and you know questions and stuff He patiently waited for over an hour and a half And I I stay usually to the end right till and everybody until they all go And here's this young boy. He's 14 years old comes up and he's the last person there And he says dr. D martini you inspired me And I said fantastic. How so? Now when I looked at him I saw um Really some beat-up old clothes his jeans Were about I'm going to say eight or more inches longer than his legs and they were Bold folded up and folded up again And he had a a little rope tying his waist In the loops of his pants and it was scrunched So he had a pair of pants on that were probably way bigger than his but it was done that way Had a shirt that had some holes in it And he was a young boy. He said I live in kailicha Kailicha is a township Which is a very concentrated Township in South Africa And he said my mother and father both died of AIDS I'm the oldest in the family. I'm 14 and I'm raising nine kids. I um I work at a mud brick factory And I stack mud bricks And then they dry in the sun And I make 60 cents a day And I walk 45 minutes to work And 45 minutes back 15 cents Every day goes to a woman to Educate and oversee the kids when I'm gone The the another 15 cents since your talk in september I've been setting aside now 15 cents in rands at the time is about seven rands to a dollar So multiply 15 cents times seven rands and that gives you about a dollar or a hundred rands a day Which is what he was saving whatever it was seven times 15 Now he was saving 15 cents a day Living and paying 15 cents for a woman to take care of his family and the arrest of it 30 cents a day Went to paying for food and clothes and everything else they had And they lived in a shack That didn't have water didn't have electricity that had a mud floor that had to have plastic on top Because if it rained which didn't rain a lot, but if it did rain in the rainy seasons You'd have to put plastic up to keep it from leaking They had to go to a bathroom, which is about a hundred yards away And they'll in a little kind of ravine And he's raising Nine brothers and sisters are all younger than him And he said I have saved Equivalent of us dollars seven dollars and 50 cents since september And I We'll have by this time next year at christmas time Uh a minimum of 30 dollars at the rate that I'm going a minimum And I'm putting 20 dollars down on a new shack Of a 200 dollar shack That has a 54 interest rate To be able to buy a house a shack It's 200 it'll have an electrical light It won't have water, but it'll have a flooring and it'll be brand new metal and it won't leak And that light will be something we can see at night It says I'm going to learn how to read I'm going to go to the library like I've been doing because you inspired me to want to read My mission is to see if I can get a thousand young boys Who are in the same situation throughout kaileachan to try to change their life Because you said that if I don't have a cause bigger than themselves, I won't get beyond myself Well a year later I had the opportunity to see the shack Now I could have bought him a shack I didn't just hear take 200 bucks and buy a shack But if I'd done that I robbed him of his own inspiration and achievement in his own story and I got you know judged for not giving 200 on the spot by people who don't understand how important it is for somebody to do it on their own not be dependent on somebody else But the boy did amazing things and he not only had more than 30 dollars because he he he did what I told him that September ease I went to my boss and I said now that I've done everything that you requested Anything else you want me to do? I want to do it. I want to earn more. I want to never want to ask for something for nothing I don't want to be entitled. I want to earn more. What can I do to help your company grow? And prove that I make a profit that you can share some of that with me And he went out and earn more money. He prioritized what he was doing He saved it. He bought the shack. He was inspired. He inspired other young people And that's the kind of story that that's what's possible It doesn't matter where you come from. It doesn't matter what you're gone through It doesn't matter what you're going through what matters is are you now applying the principles to stand the test of time that leads to great achievement And wakes up genius and possibilities and human beings And he's a he's a classical example. I had another boy also there They came from a different township named Youssef Who was bussed in Miles away and had earned the right to come to a young adult's inspired testing program that I was putting on And they had to write a paper why they deserve to be there why they got to be selected And he came there and one of the requirements to come to this program was that you had to write down the five most significant things Of whoever your hero is the five traits that make up the hero that you look up to Yeah So I mean all these kids sit down and write those five traits down And then where in their life do they display and demonstrate those traits until they can see they have those traits as much as they see in their heroes They have that's their responsibility to find that because nothing's missing in them at the level of the essence of the soul Nothing's missing in us at the level of our senses things appear to be missing in us We play small because we think there's things missing in us, but there's never something missing And what I do is I helped him see Where he had all those traits And then after I got through I said I saw that he was finished. I said you said did you finish? He said yes, sir. I said and did you own all the traits of your hero? Yes, sir He said and who did you pick as your hero? He said you sir And I said me sir and he says yes sir because I intend to be a speaker like you I want to inspire people and I want to write books And and I want to be intelligent and I said fantastic And I said didn't stand up if you've owned all the traits and you're not frightened to getting up and speak and you've got a message Because those are the mission have a message get up and speak And he got up and he did a presentation that blew everybody's mind He's a young teenage boy And here he is standing up and they gave him a spontaneous standing ovation including me So the next day after I did the talk I was inspired by him got a picture with him Next day I was doing radio and television interviews throughout the day And I brought him up because he inspired me and I said look I they said dr. Muratini, what are you in town for? I'm so I'm doing a young adults inspired destiny for kids, you know And they said well, you know, what's the what is that about? I told him the story about Youssef And they said I want to have him come on the show and I want to hear him do an interview So he got on radio and television the very first week Like that week he got on radio and television share the story and got opportunities is now published a book and is speaking And and it's so inspiring to see that it was Him not believing that he had something but then realizing it wasn't missing That's a very important thing because the voids in our life determine our values and the voids are perceptual People think we're missing something, but we're not Once we realize it's not missing we come from a different perspective instead of coming from lack We come from a place of positioning and strategy And he changed his perceptions And so I I help people find that because They're they're they're amazingly there's there's a magnificence inside people that people don't recognize They play insignificant instead of magnificent because they're comparing their lives to other people instead of comparing their daily actions to their own dreams And when you a cat looking at a fish thinking oh, I'm terrible as a swimmer There's something wrong with me or if you're a fish expecting to climb a tree you're going to beat yourself up But if you're a fish and you love You're you're swimming you'll honor it. You'll you'll swim like a master And helping people find out what their highest values are and where they're already excelling And that nothing's missing, but they keep expecting to live outside their values And they think things are missing is liberating to people I'm amazingly liberating and I and it's just so inspiring to watch them when they get that click and they just get it And tears come in their eyes and they go I now know what i'm up to that's a Story wow wow wow and clearly he was aligned when you asked him that question. Are you really there? Are you really cleared for this because What a amazing manifestation that was to get up Uh with so much belief in yourself and deliver and and there's so much to what that story And there's a lot of that in things that i'm playing with in my life a little bit now, which is To to precede fear right i'm not talking dark alley fear I'm talking the kind that limits one and actually appears to be real when in fact it's just something fabricated in one's mind and so i'm recognizing the places and spaces where i've used fear And to limit me and instead to say I just did it last friday night There's something called the greater good party here in los angeles And it literally is an amazing couple who got together and invite amazing talented human beings And say we want to create more good on this planet Let's come together and part of it is speaking and beautiful poems and things and I got to call it Like hours before the party saying oh You have this gift nobody much knows about but apparently used to be an actress and a singer Would you come sing my mind says it's been 12 years since I sang professionally And then my mind says baby. That's fear speaking. We know one answer and it's the year of saying yes and I picked up the phone. I said i'm in what do you need and I showed up and I did it and it's like To claim one steak like that is It's life changing it literally can change your trajectory to keep up with the yeses and show up for them Well, I I used to have People come up to me and said well dr. D martini This is actually before I was a doctor and then after I got my doctor And they said can you speak on this topic? I said absolutely And then I had a system in houston and in the 19 Late 70s and early 80s. There was no Um fax machine. There was no there's microfiche. That's it And what I did is I hired a person at the downtown houston public library Who was a researcher for me and and so when somebody said well, can you speak on this topic? Absolutely And then they would do is they would go down and I'd get a researcher going dig every single article every single book Anything that had that information on it and they would ship it to me and I'd pay them You know hundreds of dollars To ship this to me and then I would speed read through everything And I was ready before I did my presentation and I said I I'm not going to wait for opportunities I'm going to make get the opportunities and then I'm going to prepare and use that as an incentive to See what I'm capable of devouring and learning and stuff And that was a great exercise for me to to put myself under deadlines and put myself under pressure Uh because I was not a matter of You know when you speak you normally have no problem speaking about something You know, but it's when you don't know when you're speaking in front of somebody you think has more knowledge than you You can be you know inhibited Just like you think there's somebody out there that can sing greater than you you'll be more inhibited But I just said no, I'm gonna I'm gonna get ready Preparation meeting opportunity, right? I'm just gonna get ready and make it happen And I found that that was extremely valuable and I did that as often as I possibly could I didn't care what the topic was And that diversified my background allowed me to have a multidisciplinary approach What is your take on overwhelm that seems to be the most prevalent word bandied about today when you ask Yeah, how are you overwhelmed? How's work? I'm so overwhelmed. How's your life? Oh, you know, if only I could I'm just so overwhelmed What is that about like I understand everything's amped up. It's up leveled. We have more stimulation I comprehend that on another level though That seems to be this new mo or default that many people know it's not because of anything on the outside No, it's you not saying no to low priority things And not saying yes to the highest priority thing and sticking to the highest priority thing and delegating their rest You know, I research right travel teams. That's it So when I get through this one before my next interview, I'm going to be researching I'm working on a textbook on nuclear physics right now. So I'm Underachiever Every minute I got I'm onto that the research I research right travel teach Everything else is delegated. I haven't driven in literally 30 years now. I'll probably be 30 years. I haven't cooked since I was 24 You know, I people joke about and they say, well, you know, you even delegate lovemaking to your girlfriend Other people for your girlfriend I said, well, I think she deserves the best that she can get and if I'm not the best She deserves the best, you know, I got a lover for that. I'm joking about when I delegate Everything because I found out that anytime I do low priority things I devalue myself And every time I do the highest priority thing I re expand myself and I wake up my most powerful state So I don't want to do I want to find that one thing that I'm greatest at and focus on that Now mine is researching and learning. So I will take on any challenge when it comes to researching and learning because I love that And you tend to want to you want to not restrict yourself. You want to go after challenges when you're inspired by it But everything else I delegate. I don't do administrative Financials everything I have it all electronically structured There's no way anything can interfere with my objectives because I've got it structured where it's that's what the job is And if people are working for me their job is to make sure that my objectives are being met If not, I let go of them and I get somebody who's inspired to do that and get the job done And if you surround yourself with people who love to do what you're going to delegate so you can go and do what you love And you go out and serve people earning an income to pay for the delegation It's it's amazing what life can offer you Yeah, so it's not overwhelming because of something out there It's overwhelming because you haven't prioritized your life and you're trying to do too many things That aren't really the most important things Interesting. So read his book the values and and by the way, there's 13 amazing questions in there I'm getting all my friends Really to get the book and do it because I think this is a game changer And part of uh, one of the things in the book is about relationships three types of relationships careless Careful and caring Can you share Specifically what is a truly caring relationship about between two? we go through life and We we often judge people And if we look down to people And get puffed up and get arrogant and talk down to them And try to project our values into them and try to get them to live in the way we want That's careless We care less about them than ourselves and we project self-righteously with pride our values onto people Then we all set times and we minimize ourselves and look up to people put them on pedestals And now what we do is we inject their values and try to live in their values, which is futile Both those other ones are futile And what that is is basically careful You're walking on eggs she was worrying about what people think about you trying to please them all the time And this is where most people go they walk in them all And they see people more successful more intelligent or financially viable more Stable relationship more socially connected more spiritually. We're a better fitness and then they minimize themselves Exaggerate them inject their values try to live in their values set goals and aren't theirs beat themselves up and wonder why it's not working And then there's caring relationships where you have equanimity within yourself You're neither proud nor ashamed you're being yourself because you're not when you're proud or ashamed you're not being yourself When you really yourself you're authentic And when you do you have equity between you and others you're not above or below them There's equity an equation that's balanced And now you're communicating what you would love in terms of what they would love and you're respecting what their values are And communicating what you value in terms of their values with dialogue not alternating monologues And caring is the one that keeps the ring on the finger and caring relationships needs to be with kids Employees customers social context that same law applies to every relationship we ever work with And what about a powerful relationship communication strategies? Is there one if somebody has a desire to return to love To make this equanimity that you're talking about what would be your one recommendation to do that? Oh, there's there's two things that I can I can guarantee work I mean I've not had it fail once And it's simply there's two exercises one is go and do on my website. There's a value determination process It's a 13 step questionnaire that I mentioned earlier. It's complimentary. It's free. They can do it. It's private and I'll see it Except you you can store it. You can come back to it. You can do it again. You can watch your evolution of your values But just do that go in there and do it more than once to make sure you're not bullshitting yourself Because many times you'll write down what you think it should be ought to be we should be What it once was used to be or hope it will be you got to write down what your life demonstrates Because your life demonstrates what you really have as values But you determine your values you determine the person you're in a relationship values Care enough every human being wants to be loved and appreciative for who they are and who they are revolves around their highest value My highest value is teaching. I'm a teacher. That's my identity The mother who has the three children at age 35 her highest value is mothering. She's a mother Whatever your highest value is your identity ontological identity revolves around Once you find that out for you and the person you're in relationship with That's the first step you have to respect it because they want to be loved for that Not for what you want to make them not for what you need to fix them into not the fairness You're comparing to and punishing them if they don't match They want to be loved for who they are and they are both sided They have they're not a one-sided person always up never down They have both sides and they want to be loved for both So the first thing is identify their top value and ask this question. How specifically is this individual Dedicated to the fulfillment of that highest value attempting to fulfill their what's most meaningful and important to them How is them doing that and their life spent focused on that? How's it helping me fulfill mine? And answer that question 25 times and don't stop and come up with bullshit answers. I don't know I can't find it That's the problem. They won't change just answer the question. How is who they are helping me become who I dream And then turn around and do the same thing back How is what I'm dedicated to helping them fulfill what they're dedicated to? And take the top three values of theirs top three values of yours and link those values back and forth That's about 150 value links It takes three hours to do When you're done your respect level your appreciation level your heart opens because you're realizing there's nothing to fix in them For the first time there's nothing to change. Nothing to wish to have to be different And there's nothing you need to fix in you and you have a deep respect for each other And there's a new relationship done in Then the next question is what I call the demartini method. It's a series of questions back teaching the break to experience Whatever they've done that you've admired or despised Some trait some actions some inaction that you perceive them displaying or demonstrating that you admire despise most Ask what are those because you've stored in your subconscious mind accumulated Misperceptions of who they are and those are affecting you in your behavior with them But ask what do you admire most and despise most? Then you go and ask Go to a moment where and when you have displayed or demonstrated in your perceptions those same behaviors The same traits action and actions where were you when were you who did you demonstrate to and who perceived you that way And go and do that until you can own every single thing you see in them that you're emotionally charged about 100 percent Quantitatively and qualitatively and it will level the playing field and make you realize there's nothing there to judge And if you thought it was something you resented you then ask how did it serve you and if it's something you're admiring How did it serve you and level it out? Because if you infatuate them you'll minimize yourself to them if you resent them you'll minimize them to you And you're basically in a dial an alternating monologue not dialogue And if you go in and level that field and follow that process all you're going to end up with is tears of gratitude And you want to embrace them in your arms and love who they are. That's what people want So go to dr. D martini.com for this test. I know that's what I'm doing this weekend I'm I'm so like I don't turned on blown away all of this by what's possible here and by the stuff I know it's opening up in me So I am doing that and if you guys do it too Please let me know if you want to write in and give me some idea of the results or the Things that insights that you're starting to gain or the freedom you're starting to get I'd love to hear Dr. D martini. This is dare to dream So what are you next dare to dream? What are your future dreams and goals? I got about uh, believe it or not I have the 24 volumes of objectives gratitudes posthumous biographies Metrics of all the goals i'm working on I have not yet been to every country I have students in every country on the earth now We've got documented students in through social media on every continent. I've been on 151 countries I've done the break to experience in 63 countries. You got another one two more coming up india and Sri Lanka, but I I'm still working on every country on the face of the earth And we almost got into mecca. We were almost got snuck into mecca by some arabian Kuwaitis and arabian royalty there So I'm hoping to get in there because I'd like to do something even in mecca But I I my goal is to continue to hit the each of those countries. I'm going to keep writing. I do it every day I'm keep researching. I'm going to do that every day I research right travel teach and that's what I love doing most and I of course I get the opportunity to now do these type of Interviews to help me reach people I wouldn't be able to reach and I made a commitment that I was going to reach As many people as I could well, there's a lot so And then afterwards I'm using a Ouija board after I pass there'll be Ouija board connections You're just tune in to me on a Ouija board I'm joking. I'm joking. That was an invitation everybody so I'm joking Now there'll be recordings there, but but You know, I've got the demartine method that's about to go on on app So they'll be able to do it on their phones. So that's in the making We've had lots and lots of projects that are going on so many of them Movies are going there's a movie. It's gonna they're doing on my life coming up. There's a whole lot of stuff that's going on that that Um I mean, I just thousands of things I keep a long list of things I'm working on this summer long life things summer after life There's there's goals from now all the way past my life still in motion You are still adhering to what paul braggs recommended 120 years past your life and beyond the influence that you will leave and the change you will bestow upon us So thank you and thank you. Well, you know, it isn't I don't think there's anything more valuable more meaningful more fulfilling in life and watching the lives change of people you touch and I've asked that every country I've been in and I find that you Fully a hundred percent of the people put the answer go. That's what is fulfilling So why why would you want to do anything less? Why would you want to put your time onto something that's less fulfilling when you can put it on the most fulfilling? It doesn't make any sense to me Read his book the values factor if you want to go to one of his events Dr D martini.com it has an events calendar as well as that free questionnaire He was talking about because clearly as he's a great example as you change your life You change everybody else's life and that's really what it's all about And I end today's show with this quote from doctor john D martini being a master of persistence means embracing both support and Challenge in the pursuit of your dreams. I thank you so much for coming on today. It's been such a pleasure No, thank you. I appreciate the opportunity to share and thank you for making the difference and helping me make a difference Next up on dare to dream radio on podcast. I'm featuring ken honda who is japan's best-selling zen millionaire He wrote the new york times best-selling book happy money So we're taking this conversation and even more again into money It's going to show you things you've never considered before give a kin to hunt for me. Oh, I will I'm so excited He's so full of joy this man So we'll look at his wallet. It is happy money too Thanks for subscribing to the show and thank you for daring to dream and considering to turn those dreams into your reality Which benefits us all