 What's your name? Nikhil. Yes, Nikhil. So, is it not feeling the self and surrendering the self is same or is it different? The surrendering is almost a decision to be in a state of absolute humility and almost you can say obedience to the impulse of that master. Whereas being aware of the master, of the antar guru is a step before that. You know, you become aware and then you surrender. But the mind is basically surrendering, so is it not a mental process? Let's for the moment just say that you are surrendering. The mind is something we cannot really put our finger on, but you we can put our finger on because you are right here. So, you are Nikhil. That is one of the attributes of you, of this. Another attribute would be your mother's name because that we are sure of, right? That you came out of her. So, what is her name? Chanda. Chanda. And where were you born? Rajasthan. Where were you born in Rajasthan? Which place? Ahov. Okay, so Nikhil, son of Chanda from Ahur. He's the one surrendering. He's the one feeling the soul. He's the one. That's it. One can look at it like that too. Rather than say it is the mind because then it's a separation. It's creating compartments of... It's dividing you into pieces. So, initially you mean to say that we have to start from whatever self or mind that this particular body or form or whatever it is, it is surrendering to that soul. So, it has to be a mental process initially like we are... So, your question is, is it the mind doing that? And if I were to counter you or you were to counter yourself by saying, it doesn't matter if it's the mind or this or that, it's Nikhil doing that. Doesn't really make a big difference because it's the action that counts more than who is doing the action. Right? Let's assume that the action is what counts. So, Nikhil is asking that question or Nikhil is surrendering or Nikhil is trying to distinguish between the impulse of the soul and the demanding, clamoring voice of the ego. That's what's happening. I personally try to do this method of meditation where we just... Who am I? I am able to feel that self right now. In the sense I am able to stay there in that particular state. My real question is that how do we make this permanent? It is you move into the state of surrender and when the ego tries to interfere, you move back into the state of surrender. When the ego tries to interfere, you move back into the state of surrender. It is a matter of viveka and discernment, discerning between where this action is emerging from and every moment. The idea that it is a permanent state is what it is, an idea. So, your sadhana or your practice is to move into a state of surrender when you feel that ego is rearing its head, the ahankar. Again, you move into a state of surrender. Again, you see the thing is that the whole key to this is to be in a state of surrender and not to identify with. I am not supreme soul. I am this in a state of surrender to that. That is how the experience grows. The self-realization process grows and deepens and widens like that. There is no permanent experience which is then settled. Now it is done. Now I will never fall out into ego. That idea is a fallacy. It doesn't exist. It is simply an idea that people like to have but it doesn't exist. Even the greatest of the great rishis and seers and gurus and teachers fall out of it sometimes and they have to bring themselves back into it which is also why when they are in a samadhi state, in enlightenment states, that is a different story but the moment they begin to reintegrate into the system the body is that which they have to deal with. If you move into a surrendered state, then that process of reintegration grows and the process of self-realization deepens and every time the ego reirs it said again that surrender grows and it grows like that. There is no moment at which it is now like this and it is not going to. So then what is the ideal life? Like in the sense whatever we have been doing we just continue to do that and just bring this awareness. The ideal life or let's say the practice of the sadhana is to be present here and now with your eyes open. Not in bliss states but present here and now. In this present moment, in this state of presentness you will be in a state of surrender to the truth, the truth of the being, the cosmic, supreme, whatever you want to call it and whenever you move out of this moment, then the ego reirs its head. So then you move back into this moment into surrender. It is a process that continues life long. Whether you are Ramana Maharshi or you are Sri Aurobindo or you are Ananta Mahima or you are Ramakrishna, Paramahansa or you are any of the gurus or teachers or rishis or anyone. That is why the rishis, the maharishis, they spoke of life of tapascharya till the last breath of the body. Why would they do tapas if it is all said and done and then you are sitting there enlightened under a tree. Enlightenment is the start of the journey to the self. Because through enlightenment you experience the cosmos and dissolution of identity. Then at one point you have to reintegrate into the system because you have to deal with this body. It is not going to leave you in peace. Then you reintegrate and then you find out that while you were enlightened and away this whole system has lost a little bit of its solidity and its coherence. So you have to make it coherent again. That's what they all did. That's what Ramana Maharshi did. That's what Sri Aurobindo did. That's what Ramakrishna Paramahansa did. They all went through the enlightenment and came back to realize that that's not the answer. Then they had to reintegrate here and be present and start to move in this world and move into movement from that present moment or in that present moment from the impulse of soul. So basically what you do is you just start that process. Rather than taking that whole circuitous route, you go directly. The future of spirituality will circumvent enlightenment. It will simply move directly into self-realization. So the child is born, experiences self-realization, loses it through the socialization and conditioning and then regains it by being present and moving, cleaving its way back to source. Every time you feel the ego is at play, you bend and you feel the master. Again it comes back. It's basically if you move yourself into this present moment the ego doesn't have a chance to do anything in this moment. That's the key. It's a growing process. Self-realization is a deepening, growing process. It goes on and on till the last moment that you're in this body. It's not like, oh, now I'm self-realized. It is not something to attain. It is something to grow and grow and grow into and more and more. Isn't that beautiful to think that life is like that? It is, but then during the daily life, you know, you tend to... Bring yourself to this moment, bring yourself to this moment. That is the tapas. Not trying to detach from it and saying, this is not me getting angry. The thing is to bring yourself to this moment and that moment. Yes, that is the challenge. So now after this situation has happened, you realize that oh, no, I had to be in that state at that moment and this would not happen actually. Is it right that it will not happen if we are in that state or it will happen and again we have to come back? See the whole idea of enlightenment and becoming awake and things like that gives this feeling that there are people who reach a state and after that they are enlightened and then they are awake. It's not like that. These are processes that go on with everyone. You name them, they've had that process. So the same thing is happening with you and the more tapas you do which is taking your practice seriously and every time you slip out of the present moment bringing yourself back into this moment, the more you do that the more you will be in this moment and the more self-realized you become. You sound very unhappy. That is that simple. It cannot be, it must be more difficult than that. Okay, so this whole thing arises because I see suffering all around. Am I negative or is it reality that wherever I go I see suffering. I see cows suffering on the road or dog or beggars. There are some people who will only look at the beautiful things around and I am the one here. I am only looking at the suffering all the time. I also feel that I don't want to be that right in the next birth, in the sense the whole concept for me to get enlightened is the goal is to stop this cycle of birth and death. I think we should keep it a little bit simple I feel. All this birth and death and cycles and it's all too big the whole thing. Let's try to keep it simple in this moment because when you move to this moment then that eternity of everything is with you in this moment. You don't have to worry about births and deaths and cycles and how to escape them and will I become a cockroach? All that can be left aside for the moment because the experience is now it's here. This is the moment where you're living, not what happens afterwards. When you bring yourself to this moment life simplifies itself down into this, this moment you know and you can do this, if you want to take up a spiritual path you have to be ready to do some sadhana, some practice. You cannot sit back and say, you have to take up a practice if the practice is present it's just being in this moment right now, right here. What happens is that a lot of those questions fall away because the experience of this moment is just so powerful. Because you're just here, you're like looking at, you see, you're right now, you're right here. Basically this moment is what counts. Now where is all birth and death and cycles and all in this moment? It's just the questions have fallen away. That's why I want to make this moment. It is permanent, it is permanent, it is permanent. Now I understand that it need not be permanent in the sense it's a constant, it's a constant tapas, tapas is the thing. That idea that, oh now I'll reach enlightenment I'm not going to feel any problems. I'll not be reborn again. And those birth and death cycles, how do you know that there are cycles of birth and death? How do we know that? Is there anyone who's died and come back to tell us about it? But then there are people who are born with certain disabilities. One can give many reasons. One can say those are genetic inheritances. Not from a last life but from a last grandfather. I'm saying one can do these pyrrhoids but if you go into this moment, if you try to bring yourself to this moment you'll find life is just a television show of the highest order. It's just so fascinating. I look at her now. It's just like I'm looking at her and I'm just like, I'm fascinated, like, wow. That immense fascination of this moment will just, the questions have dropped away of who am I and where am I and what am I and up and down and life cycles and pyrrhoids. It's this moment. And when you want to bring permanence into that experience, if that is a goal at all, then it's this moment and then it's again this moment. However enlightened you are, the greatest masters on the planet, whoever they were, are or will be, will have to bring themselves to this moment else they suffer and it is never permanent with anyone. There is a projection of permanence sometimes because they have to also give hope. But every single one of them has written somewhere in a side text between three lines has written how actually it's not like that. Just think of this moment as where the entire thing is. The truth is in this moment. Bring yourself now. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. Here. And again. And you are present. Your eyes are open. You are aware. You are in this moment. And you bring increasing, that is Self-realisation. That is the realisation of the soul in action. You keep on doing this tapas so you are very present. You are doing things. You are not like meditating and spaced out. You are here and now. You are just aware and you are aware. So that is surrender. That's what surrender is, is being present. Just in surrender. And there's no... Not much else. It's actually a simple thing. It's so simple. That's the thing. And isn't it beautiful? Even if there is suffering, let's say you are there and there is a cow that is bleeding. You come into this moment and then you realise that you are direct with that suffering. And so it does not feel like what it would feel if you are not present. It's a different posture. I didn't understand that. When you go after the satsang, if you see a situation or somewhere where you see real suffering and animal suffering because one sees it a lot, just bring yourself to this moment when you are with that suffering and see how different the experience is to the experiment. Okay. Thank you.