 CHAPTER XI It would have made a stoic smile to have seen me and my little family sit down to dinner. There was my majesty, the prince, and lord of the whole island, I had the lives of all my subjects at my absolute command. I could hang, draw, give liberty, and take it away, and no rebels among all my subjects. Then to see how like a king I died, too, all alone, attended by my servants. Paul, as if he had been my favourite, was the only person permitted to talk to me. My dog, who has now grown old and crazy, and had found no species to multiply his kind upon, sat always at my right hand, and two cats, one on one side of the table and one on the other, expecting now and then a bit from my hand as a mark of a special favour. But these were not the two cats which I brought on shore at first, for they were both of them dead, and had been interred near my habitation by my own hand, but one of them having multiplied by I know not what kind of creature. These were two which I had preserved tame, whereas the rest ran wild in the woods, and became indeed troublesome to me at last, for they would often come into my house and plunder me, too, till at last I was obliged to shoot them, and did kill a great many. At length they left me. With this attendance, and in this plentiful manner I lived, neither could I be said to want anything but society, and of that, some time after this, I was likely to have too much. I was something impatient, as I have observed, to have the use of my boat, though very loath to run any more hazards, and therefore sometimes I sat contriving ways to get her about the island, and at other times I sat myself down contented enough without her. But I had a strange uneasiness in my mind to go down to the point of the island where, as I have said in my last ramble, I went up the hill to see how the shore lay, and how the current set, that I might see what I had to do. This inclination increased upon me every day, and at length I resolved to travel thither by land, following the edge of the shore. I did so, but had any one in England met such a man as I was, it must either have frightened him, or raised a great deal of laughter, and as I frequently stood still to look at myself, I could not but smile at the notion of my traveling through Yorkshire with such an equipage, and in such a dress. Be pleased to take a sketch of my figure, as follows. I had a great high shapeless cap made of a goat's skin, with a flap hanging down behind, as well to keep the sun from me as to shoot the rain off from running into my neck, nothing being so hurtful in these climates as the rain upon the flesh under the clothes. I had a short jacket of goat's skin, the skirts coming down to about the middle of the thighs, and a pair of open-need breeches of the same, the breeches were made of the skin of an old he-goat, whose hair hung down such a length on either side that, like pantaloons, it reached to the middle of my legs. Stockings and shoes I had none, but it made me a pair of somethings, I scarce knew what to call them, like buskins to flap over my legs, and lace on either side like spattered ashes, but of a most barbarous shape, as indeed were all the rest of my clothes. I had on a broad belt of goat's skin dried, which I drew together with two thongs of the same instead of buckles, and in a kind of a frog on either side of this, instead of a sword and dagger, hung a little saw and a hatchet, one on one side and one on the other. I had another belt not so broad, and fastened in the same manner, which hung over my shoulder, and at the end of it, under my left arm, hung two pouches, both made of goat's skin too, in one of which hung my powder, in the other my shot. At my back I carried my basket, and on my shoulder my gun, and over my head a great clumsy, ugly goat's skin umbrella, but which after all was the most necessary thing I had about me next to my gun. As for my face, the colour of it was really not so mulatto-like, as one might expect from a man not at all careful of it, and living within nine or ten degrees of the equinox. My beard I had once suffered to grow till it was about a quarter of a yard long, but as I had both scissors and razors sufficient, I had cut it pretty short, except what grew on my upper lip, which I had trimmed into a large pair of mohammaton whiskers, such as I had seen worn by some turks at Salih. For the Moors did not wear such, though the turks did, of these mustachios or whiskers. I will not say they were long enough to hang my hat upon them, but they were of a length and shape monstrous enough, and such as in England would have passed for frightful. But all this is by the by, for as to my figure I had so few to observe me that it was of no manner of consequence, so I say no more of that. In this kind of dress I went my new journey, and was out five or six days. I travelled first along the seashore, directly to the place where I first brought my boat to an anchor to get upon the rocks, and having no boat now to take care of, I went over the land a nearer way to the same height that I was upon before, when, looking forward to the points of the rocks which lay out, in which I was obliged to double with my boat, as is set above, I was surprised to see the sea all smooth and quiet, no rippling, no motion, no current, any more there than in other places. I was at a strange loss to understand this, and resolved to spend some time in the observing it, to see if nothing from the sets of the tide had occasioned it. But I was presently convinced how it was, that the tide of Ebb setting from the west, and joining with the current of waters from some great river on the shore, must be the occasion of this current, and that, according as the wind blew more forcibly from the west or from the north, this current came nearer or went farther from the shore. For waiting thereabouts till evening, I went up to the rock again, and then the tide of Ebb being made, I plainly saw the current again as before, only that it ran farther off, being near half a league from the shore, whereas in my case it set close upon the shore, and hurried me in my canoe along with it, which at another time it would not have done. This observation convinced me that I had nothing to do but to observe the ebbing and the flowing of the tide, and I might very easily bring my boat about the island again. But when I began to think of putting it in practice, I had such terror upon my spirits at the remembrance of the danger I had been in, that I could not think of it again with any patience. But on the contrary, I took up another resolution, which was more safe than more laborious, and this was, that I would build, or rather make, be another Puriagua or canoe, and so have one for one side of the island, and one for the other. You are to understand that now I had, as I may call it, two plantations in the island, one my little fortification or tent, with the wall about it, under the rock, with a cave behind me, which by this time I had enlarged into several apartments or caves, one within another. One of these, which was the driest and largest, and had a door out beyond my wall or fortification, that is to say, beyond where my wall joined to the rock, was all filled up with the large earthen pots of which I have given an account, and with fourteen or fifteen great baskets, which would hold five or six bushels each, where I laid up my stores of provisions, especially my corn, some in the ear, cut off short from the straw, and the other rubbed out with my hand. As for my wall, made as before with long stakes or piles, those piles grew all like trees, and were by this time grown so big, and spread so very much, that there was not the least appearance to any one's view of any habitation behind them. Near this dwelling of mine, but a little farther within the land, and upon lower ground, lay my two pieces of corn land, which I kept duly cultivated and sowed, and which duly yielded me their harvest in its season, and whenever I had occasion for more corn I had more land adjoining as fit as that. Besides this I had my country seat, and I had now a tolerable plantation there also. For first I had my little bower, as I called it, which I kept in repair. That is to say, I kept the hedge which encircled it in constantly, fitted up to its usual height, the ladder standing always in the inside. I kept the trees, which at first were no more than stakes, but were now grown very firm and tall, always cut, so that they might spread and grow thick and wild, and make the more agreeable shade, which they did effectually, to my mind. In the middle of this I had my tent always standing, being a piece of a sail spread over poles, set up for that purpose, and which never wanted any repair or renewing, and under this I had made me a squab or couch with the skins of the creatures I had killed, and with other soft things, and a blanket laid on them, such as belonged to our seabedding, which I had saved, and a great watchcoat to cover me. And here, whenever I had occasioned to be absent from my chief seat, I took up my country habitation. At joining to this I had my enclosures for my cattle, that is to say, my goats, and I had taken an inconceivable deal of pains to fence and enclose this ground. I was so anxious to see it kept entire, lest the goats should break through, that I never left off till, with infinite labour, I had stuck the outside of the hedge so full of small stakes, and so near to one another, that it was rather a pale than a hedge, and there was scarce room to put a hand through between them, which afterwards, when those stakes grew, as they all did in the next rainy season, made the enclosure strong like a wall, indeed stronger than any wall. This will testify for me that I was not idle, and that I spared no pains to bring to pass whatever appeared necessary for my comfortable support, for I considered the keeping up a breed of tame creatures thus at my hand would be a living magazine of flesh, milk, butter, and cheese for me as long as I lived in the place, if it were to be forty years, and that keeping them in my reach depended entirely upon my perfecting my enclosures to such a degree that I might be sure of keeping them together. Which by this method, indeed, I so effectually secured that when these little stakes began to grow, I had planted them so very thick that I was forced to pull some of them up again. In this place also I have my grapes growing, which I principally depended on for my winter store of raisins, in which I never failed to preserve very carefully, as the best and most agreeable dainty of my whole diet, and indeed they were not only agreeable but medicinal, wholesome, nourishing, and refreshing to the last degree. As this was also about halfway between my other habitation and the place where I had laid up my boat, I generally stayed and lay here in my way thither, for I used frequently to visit my boat, and I kept all things about or belonging to her in very good order. Sometimes I went out and heard to divert myself, but no more hazardous forages would I go, scarcely ever above a stone's cast or two from the shore. I was so apprehensive of being hurried out of my knowledge again by the currents or winds or any other accident. But now I come to a new scene of my life. It happened one day, about noon, going towards my boat. I was exceedingly surprised with the print of a man's naked foot on the shore, which was very plain to be seen on the sand. I stood like one thunderstruck, or as if I had seen an apparition. I listened, I looked round me, but I could hear nothing, nor see anything. I went up to a rising ground to look farther. I went up the shore and down the shore, but it was all one. I could see no other impression but that one. I went to it again to see if there were any more, and to observe if it might not be my fancy. But there was no room for that, for there was exactly the print of a foot, toes, heel, and every part of a foot. How it came thither I knew not. Nor could I in the least imagine. But after innumerable fluttering thoughts, like a man perfectly confused and out of myself, I came home to my fortification, not feeling, as we say, the ground I went on, but terrified to the last degree, looking behind me at every two or three steps, taking every bush and tree, and fancying every stump at a distance to be a man. Nor is it possible to describe how many various shapes my affrighted imagination represented things to me in, how many wild ideas were found every moment in my fancy, and what strange, unaccountable whimsies came into my thoughts, by the way. When I came to my castle, for so I think I called it ever after this, I fled into it like one pursued. Whether I went over by the latter, as first contrived, or went in at the hole in the rock, which I had called a door, I cannot remember. No, nor could I remember the next morning, for never frightened hair fled to cover, or fox to earth, with more terror of mine than I to this retreat. I slept none that night. The farther I was from the occasion of my fright, the greater my apprehensions were, which is something contrary to the nature of such things, and especially to the usual practice of all creatures in fear. But I was so embarrassed with my own frightful ideas of the thing, that I formed nothing but dismal imaginations to myself, even though I was now a great way off. Sometimes I fancied it must be the devil, and reason joined in with me in this supposition, for how should any other thing in human shape come into the place? Where was the vessel that brought them? What marks were there of any other footstep? And how was it possible a man should come there? But then, to think that Satan should take human shape upon him in such a place, where there could be no manner of occasion for it, but to leave the print of his foot behind him, and that even for no purpose too, for he could not be sure I should see it, this was an amusement the other way. I considered that the devil might have found out abundance of other ways to have terrified me, than this of the single print of a foot, that as I lived quite on the other side of the island, he would never have been so simple as to leave a mark in a place where it was ten thousand to one, whether I should ever see it or not, and in the sand too, which the first surge of the sea upon a high wind would have defaced entirely. All this seemed inconsistent with the thing itself, and with all the notions we usually entertain of the subtlety of the devil. Abundance of such things, as these, assisted to argue me out of all apprehensions of its being the devil, and I presently concluded then that it must be some more dangerous creature, that is, that it must be some of the savages of the mainland opposite who had wandered out to sea in their canoes, and either driven by the currents or by contraria winds, had made the island, and had been unsure, but were gone away again to sea, being as loath perhaps to have stayed in this desolate island as I would have been to have had them. While these reflections were rolling in my mind, I was very thankful in my thoughts that I was so happy as not to be there abouts at that time, or that they did not see my boat, by which they would have concluded that some inhabitants have been in the place, and perhaps have searched farther for me. Then terrible thoughts racked my imagination about their having found out my boat, and that there were people here, and that, if so, I should certainly have them come again in greater numbers, and devour me, that if it should happen that they should not find me, yet they would find my enclosure, destroy all my corn, and carry away all my flock of tamed goats, and I should perish at last for mere want. Thus my fear banished all my religious hope, all that former confidence in God, which was founded upon such wonderful experiences I had had of his goodness, as if he, that had fed me by miracle, hitherto could not preserve by his power the provision which he had made for me by his goodness. I reproached myself with my laziness, that would not sow any more corn one year than would just serve me till the next season, as if no accident could intervene to prevent my enjoying the crop that was upon the ground. And this I thought so just a reproof, that I resolve for the future to have two or three years corn beforehand, so that whatever might come I might not perish for want of bread. How strange a checker work of Providence is the life of man! and by what secret different springs are the affections hurried about, as different circumstances present. Today we love what tomorrow we hate. Today we seek what tomorrow we shun. Today we desire what tomorrow we fear. Nay, even tremble at the apprehensions of. This was exemplified in me at this time, in the most lively manner imaginable, for I, whose only affliction was that I seemed banished from human society, that I was alone, circumscribed by the boundless ocean, cut off from mankind, and condemned to what I call silent life, that I was as one whom heaven thought not worthy to be numbered among the living, or to appear among the rest of his creatures, that to have seen one of my own species would have seemed to me erasing me from death to life, and the greatest blessing that heaven itself, next to the supreme blessing of salvation, could bestow. I say that I should now tremble at the very apprehensions of seeing a man, and was ready to sink into the ground at but the shadow or silent appearance of a man having set his foot in the island. Such is the uneven state of human life, and it afforded me a great many curious speculations afterwards, when I had a little recovered from my first surprise. I considered that this was the station of life the infinitely wise and good providence of God had determined for me, that as I could not foresee what the ends of divine wisdom might be in all this, so I was not to dispute his sovereignty, who, as I was his creature, had an undoubted right, by creation, to govern and dispose of me absolutely as he thought fit, and who, as I was a creature that had offended him, had likewise a judicial right to condemn me to what punishment he thought fit, and that it was my part to submit to bear his indignation, because I had sinned against him. I then reflected, that as God, who was not only righteous but omnipotent, had thought fit thus to punish and afflict me, so he was able to deliver me, that if he did not think fit to do so, it was my unquestioned duty to resign myself absolutely and entirely to his will, and, on the other hand, it was my duty also to hope in him, pray to him, and quietly to attend to the dictates and directions of his daily providence. These thoughts took me up many hours, days, nay, I may say weeks and months, and one particular effect of my cogitations on this occasion I cannot omit. One morning early, lying in my bed, and filled with thoughts about my danger from the appearances of savages, I found it discompose me very much, upon which these words of the Scripture came into my thoughts. Call upon me in the day of trouble, and I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me. Upon this, rising cheerfully out of my bed, my heart was not only comforted, but I was guided and encouraged to pray earnestly to God for deliverance. When I had done praying I took up my Bible, and opening it to read, the first words that presented to me were, Wait on the Lord, and be of good cheer, and he shall strengthen thy heart. Wait, I say, on the Lord. It is impossible to express the comfort this gave me. In answer I thankfully laid down the book, and was no more sad, at least on that occasion. In the middle of these cogitations, apprehensions, and it came into my thoughts one day, that all this might be a mere chimera of my own, and that this foot might be the print of my own foot when I came on shore from my boat. This cheered me up a little too, and I began to persuade myself it was all a delusion, that it was nothing else but my own foot, and why might I not come that way from the boat, as well as I was going that way to the boat? Then I considered also that I could by no means tell for certain where I had trod, and where I had not, and that if it last this was only the print of my own foot, I had played the part of those fools who tried to make stories of spectres and apparitions, and then are frightened at them more than anybody. Now I began to take courage, and to peep abroad again, for I had not stirred out of my castle for three days and nights, so that I began to starve for provisions, for I had little or nothing within doors but some barley-cakes and water. Then I knew that my goats wanted to be milked too, which usually was my evening diversion, and the poor creatures were in great pain and inconvenience for want of it, and indeed it almost spoiled some of them, and almost dried up their milk. Encouraging myself, therefore, with the belief that this was nothing but the print of one of my own feet, and that I might be truly said to start at my own shadow, I began to go abroad again, and went to my country-house to milk my flock, but to see with what fear I went forward, how often I looked behind me, how I was ready every now and then to lay down my basket and run for my life, it would have made anyone have thought I was haunted with an evil conscience, or that I had been lately most terribly frightened, and so indeed I had. However, I went down thus two or three days, and having seen nothing, I began to be a little bolder, and to think there was really nothing in it but my own imagination. But I could not persuade myself fully of this till I should go down to the shore again, and see this print of a foot and measure it by my own, and see if there was any similitude or fitness that I might be assured it was my own foot. When I came to the place, first it appeared evidently to me that when I laid up my boat I could not possibly be on shore anywhere thereabouts. Secondly, when I came to measure the mark with my own foot, I found my foot not so large by a great deal. Both these things filled my head with new imaginations, and gave me the vapors again to the highest degree, so that I shook with cold like one in an Agu, and I went home again, filled with the belief that some men or men had been on shore there, or, in short, that the island was inhabited, and I might be surprised before I was aware, and what course to take for my security I knew not. Oh, what ridiculous resolutions men take when possessed with fear! It deprives them of the use of those means which reason offers for their relief. The first thing I proposed to myself was, to throw down my enclosures and turn all my tame cattle wild into the woods lest the enemy should find them, and then frequent the island in prospect of the same or the like booty. Then the simple thing of digging up my two cornfields lest they should find such a grain there and still be prompted to frequent the island. Then to demolish my bower and tent that they might not see any vestiges of habitation and be prompted to look farther in order to find out the persons inhabiting. These were the subjects of the first night's cogitations after I was come home again, while the apprehensions which had so overrun my mind were fresh upon me, and my head was full of vapours. Thus fear of danger is ten thousand times more terrifying than danger itself when apparent to the eyes, and we find the burden of anxiety greater by much than the evil which we are anxious about, and what was worse than all this, I had not that relief in this trouble that from the resignation I used to practice I hoped to have. I looked, I thought, like Saul, who complained not only that the Philistines were upon him, but that God had forsaken him, for I did not now take due ways to compose my mind by crying to God of my distress and resting upon his providence, as I had done before, my defence and deliverance, which, if I had done, I had at least been more cheerfully supported under this new surprise, and perhaps carried through it with more resolution. This confusion of my thoughts kept me awake all night, but in the morning I fell asleep, and having, by the amusement of my mind, been as it were tired, and my spirits exhausted, I slept very soundly, and waked much better composed than I had ever been before. And now I began to think sedately, and upon debate with myself, I concluded that this island, which was so exceedingly pleasant, fruitful, and no farther from the mainland than I had seen, was not so entirely abandoned as I might imagine, that although there were no stated inhabitants who lived on the spot, yet that there might sometimes come boats off from the shore, who, either with design, or perhaps never but when they were driven by cross winds, might come to this place, that I had lived there fifteen years now, and had not met with the least shadow or figure of any people yet, and that, if at any time they should be driven here, it was probable they went away again as soon as ever they could, seeing they had never thought fit to fix here upon any occasion. But the most I could suggest any danger from was from any casual accidental landing of straggling people from the main, who, as it was likely, if they were driven hither, were here against their wills. So they made no stay here, but went off again with all possible speed, seldom staying one night on shore, lest they should not have the help of the tides and daylight back again. And that therefore I had nothing to do but to consider of some safe retreat, in case I should see any savages land upon the spot. Now I began sorely to repent that I had dug my cave so large as to bring a door through again, which door, as I said, came out beyond where my fortification joined to the rock. Upon maturely considering this, therefore, I resolved to draw me a second fortification, in the manner of a semicircle, at a distance from my wall, just where I had planted a double row of trees about twelve years before, of which I may mention. These trees having been planted so thick before, they wanted but few piles to be driven between them, that they might be thicker and stronger, and my wall would be soon finished. So that I had now a double wall, and my outer wall was thickened with pieces of timber, old cables, and everything I could think of to make it strong, having in it seven little holes, about as big as I might put my arm out at. In the inside of this I thickened my wall to about ten feet thick, with continually bringing earth out of my cave, and laying it at the foot of the wall, and walking upon it, and through the seven holes I contrived to plant the muskets, of which I took notice that I had got seven on shore, out of the ship. These I planted like my cannon, and fitted them into frames that held them like a carriage, so that I could fire all the seven guns in two minutes' time. This wall I was many a weary month in finishing, and yet never thought myself safe till it was done. When this was done I stuck all the ground without my wall, for a great length every way, as full with stakes or sticks of the OSHA-like wood, which I found so apt to grow, as they could well stand, in so much that I believe I might set in near twenty thousand of them, leaving a pretty large space between them and my wall, that I might have room to see an enemy, and that they might have no shelter from the young trees if they attempted to approach my outer wall. Thus in two years' time I had a thick grove, and in five or six years' time I had a wood before my dwelling, growing so monstrously thick and strong that it was indeed perfectly impassable, and no man of what kind so ever could ever imagine that there was anything beyond it much less a habitation. As to the way which I proposed to myself to go in and out, for I left no avenue, it was by setting two ladders, one to a part of the rock which was low, and them broke in, and left room to place another ladder upon that. So when the two ladders were taken down no man living could come down to me without doing himself mischief, and if they had come down they were still on the outside of my outer wall. Thus I took all the measures human prudence could suggest for my own preservation, and it will be seen at length that they were not altogether without just reason, though I foresaw nothing at that time more than my mere fear suggested to me. While this was doing I was not altogether careless of my other affairs, for I had a great concern upon me for my little herd of goats. They were not only a ready supply to me on every occasion, and began to be sufficient for me without the expense of powder in shot, but also without the fatigue of hunting after the wild ones, and I was loath to lose the advantage of them, and to have them all to nurse up over again. For this purpose, after long consideration, I could think of but two ways to preserve them. One was, to find another convenient place to dig a cave underground, and to drive them into it every night, and the other was to enclose two or three little bits of land, remote from one another, and as much concealed as I could, where I might keep about half a dozen young goats in each place, so that if any disaster happened to the flock in general, I might be able to raise them again with little trouble in time, and this, though it would require a good deal of time and labour, I thought was the most rational design. Accordingly I spent some time to find out the most retired parts of the island, and I pitched upon one which was as private indeed as my heart could wish. It was a little damp piece of ground in the middle of the hollow and thick woods, where, as is observed, I almost lost myself once before, endeavouring to come back that way from the eastern part of the island. Here I found a clear piece of land, nearly three acres, so surrounded with woods that it was almost an enclosure by nature. At least it did not want near so much labour to make it so, as the other piece of ground I had worked so hard at. I immediately went to work with this piece of ground, and in less than a month's time I had so fenced it round that my flock, or herd, call it which you please, which were not so wild now as at first they might be supposed to be, were well enough secured in it. So without any further delay I removed ten young she-goats and two he-goats to this piece, and when they were there I continued to perfect the fence till I had made it as secure as the other, which, however, I did at more leisure, and it took me up more time by a great deal. All this labour I was at the expense of, purely for my apprehensions on account of the print of a man's foot, for as yet I had never seen any human creature come near the island, and I had now lived two years under this uneasiness, which indeed made my life much less comfortable than it was before, as may be well imagined by any who know what it is to live in the constant snare of the fear of man. And this I must observe, with grief, too, that the discomposure of my mind had great impression also upon the religious part of my thoughts, for the dread and terror of falling into the hands of savages and cannibals lay so upon my spirits, that I seldom found myself in a due temper for application to my maker, at least, not with the sedate calmness and resignation of soul which I was want to do. I rather prayed to God as under great affliction and pressure of mind, surrounded with danger, and in expectation every night of being murdered and devoured before morning. And I must testify, from my experience, that a temper of peace, thankfulness, love, and affection is much the more proper frame for prayer than that of terror and discomposure, and that under the dread of mischief impending a man is no more fit for a comforting performance of the duty of praying to God than he is for a repentance on a sick bed, for these discomposures affect the mind as the others do the body, and the discomposure of the mind must necessarily be as great a disability as that of the body, and much greater, praying to God being properly an act of the mind, not of the body. But to go on. After I had thus secured one part of my little living stock, I went about the whole island, searching for another private place to make such another deposit, when, wandering more to the west point of the island than I had ever done yet, and looking out to sea, I thought I saw a boat upon the sea at a great distance. I had found a prospective glass or two in one of the seamen's chests, which I saved out of our ship, but I had it not about me, and this was so remote that I could not tell what to make of it, though I looked at it till my eyes were not able to hold to look any longer. Whether it was a boat or not, I do not know. But as I descended from the hill I could see no more of it, so I gave it over. Only I resolved to go no more out, without a prospective glass in my pocket. When I was come down the hill to the end of the island, where indeed I had never been before, I was presently convinced that the seeing the print of the man's foot was not such a strange thing in the island as I imagined, but that it was of special providence that I was cast upon the side of the island where the savages never came, I should easily have known that nothing was more frequent than for the canoes from the main, when they happened to be a little too far out at sea to shoot over to that side of the island for harbour. Likewise, as they often met and fought in their canoes, the victors, having taken any prisoners, would bring them over to the shore where, according to their dreadful customs, being all cannibals, they would kill and eat them, of which hereafter. When I was come down the hill to the shore, as I said above, being the south-west point of the island, I was perfectly confounded and amazed, nor is it possible for me to express the horror of my mind at seeing the shore spread with skulls, hands, feet, and other bones of human bodies, and particularly I observed a place where there had been a fire made, and a circle dug in the earth like a cockpit, where I supposed the savage wretches had set down to their human feastings upon the bodies of their fellow creatures. I was so astonished with the sight of these things, that I entertained no notions of any danger to myself from it for a long while. All my apprehensions were buried in the thoughts of such a pitch of inhuman, hellish brutality, and the horror of the degeneracy of human nature, which, though I had heard of it often, yet I never had so near a view of before. In short, I turned away my face from the hard spectacle, my stomach grew sick, and I was just at the point of fainting, when nature discharged the disorder from my stomach, and having vomited with uncommon violence, I was a little relieved, but could not bear to stay in the place a moment, so I got up the hill again with all the speed I could and walked on towards my own habitation. When I came a little out of that part of the island I stood still a while, as amazed, and then, recovering myself, I looked up with the utmost affection of my soul, and with a flood of tears in my eyes gave God thanks, that had cast my first lot in a part of the world where I was distinguished from such dreadful creatures as these, and that, though I had esteemed my present condition very miserable, had yet given me so many comforts in it that I had still more to give thanks for than to complain of, and this, above all, that I had, even in this miserable condition, been comforted with the knowledge of himself, and the hope of his blessing, which was a felicity more than sufficiently equivalent to all the misery which I had suffered or could suffer. In this frame of thankfulness I went home to my castle and began to be much easier now, as to the safety of my circumstances, than ever I was before, for I observed that these wretches never came to this island in search of what they could get, perhaps not seeking, not wanting, or not expecting anything here, and having often no doubt been up the covered, woody part of it without finding anything to their purpose. I knew I had been here now almost eighteen years, and never saw the least footsteps of human creature there before, and I might be eighteen years more as entirely concealed as I was now, if I did not discover myself to them, which I had no manner of occasion to do, if being my only business to keep myself entirely concealed where I was, unless I found a better sort of creatures than cannibals to make myself known to. Yet I entertained such an abhorrence of the savage wretches that I have been speaking of, and of the wretched inhuman custom of their devouring and eating one another up, that I continued pensive and sad, and kept close within my own circle for almost two years after this. When I say my own circle, I mean buy it my three plantations, that is, my castle, my country-seat, which I called my bower, and my enclosure in the woods. Nor did I look after this for any other use than an enclosure for my goats, for the aversion which nature gave me to these hellish wretches was such that I was as fearful of seeing them as of seeing the devil himself. I did not so much as go to look after my boat all this time, but began rather to think of making another, for I could not think of ever making any more attempts to bring the other boat round the island to me, lest I should meet with some of these creatures at sea, in which case, if I had happened to have fallen into their hands, I knew what would have been my lot. Time, however, and the satisfaction I had that I was in no danger of being discovered by these people, began to wear off my uneasiness about them, and I began to live just in the same composed manner as before, only with this difference, that I used more caution, and kept my eyes more about me than I did before, lest I should happen to be seen by any of them, and particularly I was more cautious of firing my gun, lest any of them, being on the island, should happen to hear it. It was, therefore, a very good providence to me that I had furnished myself with a tame breed of goats, and that I had no need to hunt any more about the woods or shoot at them, and if I did catch any of them after this, it was by traps and snares, as I had done before, so that for two years after this, I believe I never fired my gun once off, though I never went out without it. And what was more, as I saved three pistols out of the ship, I always carried them out with me, or at least two of them, sticking them in my goatskin belt. I also furbished up one of the great cutlasses that I had out of the ship, and made me a belt to hang in on also, so that I was now a most formidable fellow to look at when I went abroad, if you add to the former description of myself the particular of two pistols and a broadsword hanging at my side in a belt, but without a scabbard. Things going on thus, as I have said, for some time, I seemed, trusting these cautions, to be reduced to my former calm, sedate way of living. All these things tended to show me more and more how far my condition was from being miserable, compared to some others, nay, to many other particulars of life, which it may have pleased God to have made my lot. It put me upon reflecting how little repining there would be among mankind at any condition of life if people would rather compare their condition with those that were worse, in order to be thankful, than by always comparing them with those which are better to assist their murmurings and complainings. As in my present condition there were not really many things which I wanted, so indeed I thought that the frights I had been in about these savage wretches, and the concern I had been in for my own preservation, had taken off the edge of my invention for my own conveniences, and I had dropped a good design which I had once bent my thoughts upon, and that was to try if I could not make some of my barley into malt, and then try to brew myself some beer. This was really a whimsical thought, and I reproved myself often for the simplicity of it, for I presently saw there would be the want of several things necessary to the making my beer, that it would be impossible for me to supply, as first casks to preserve it in, which was a thing that, as I have observed already, I could never compass. No, though I spent not only many days, but weeks, nay, months, and attempting it, but to no purpose. In the next place I had no hops to make it keep, no yeast to make it work, no copper or kettle to make it boil, and yet with all these things wanting, I verily believe, had not the frights and terrors I was in about the savages intervened, I had undertaken it, and perhaps brought it to pass too, for I seldom gave anything over without accomplishing it, when once I had it in my head to begin it. But my invention now ran quite another way. For night and day I could think of nothing but how I might destroy some of the monsters in their cruel, bloody entertainment, and if possible save the victim they should bring hither to destroy. It would take up a larger volume than this whole work is intended to be to set down all the contrivances I hatched, or rather brooded upon, in my thoughts, for the destroying these creatures, or at least frightening them so as to prevent their coming hither any more. But all this was abortive, nothing could be possible to take effect unless I was to be there to do it myself, and what could one man do among them, when perhaps there might be twenty or thirty them together with their darts, or their bows and arrows, with which they could shoot as true to a mark as I could with my gun. Sometimes I thought of digging a hole under the place where they made their fire, and putting in five or six pounds of gunpowder, which when they kindled their fire would consequently take fire and blow up all that was near it. As in the first place I should be unwilling to waste so much powder upon them, my store being now within the quantity of one barrel, so neither could I be sure of its going off at any certain time, when it might surprise them, and at best that it would do little more than just blow the fire about their ears and fright them, but not sufficient to make them forsake the place. So I laid it aside, and then proposed that I would place myself an ambush in some convenient place, with my three guns all double-loaded, and in the middle of their bloody ceremony let fly at them, when I should be sure to kill or wound perhaps two or three at every shot, and then falling in upon them with my three pistols and my sword, I made no doubt but that, if there were twenty, I should kill them all. This fancy pleased my thoughts for some weeks, and I was so full of it that I often dreamed of it, and sometimes that I was just going to let fly at them in my sleep. I went so far with it in my imagination that I employed myself several days to find out proper places to put myself an ambush-gade, as I said, to watch for them, and I went frequently to the place itself, which was now grown more familiar to me. But while my mind was thus filled with thoughts of revenge and a bloody putting twenty or thirty of them to the sword, as I may call it, the horror I had at the place, and the signals of the barbarous wretches devouring one another, abetted my malice. Well, at length I found a place in the side of the hill where I was satisfied, I might securely wait till I saw any of their boats coming, and might then, even before they would be ready to come on shore, convey myself unseen into some thickets of trees, in one of which there was a hollow, large enough to conceal me entirely. And there I might sit and observe all their bloody doings, and take my full aim at their heads, when they were so close together as that it would be next to impossible that I should miss my shot, or that I could fail wounding three or four of them at the first shot. In this place, then, I resolved to fulfill my design, and accordingly I prepared two muskets and my ordinary fouling-piece. The two muskets I loaded with a brace of slugs each, and four or five smaller bullets, about the size of pistol bullets, and the fouling-piece I loaded with near a handful of swan-shot of the largest size. I also loaded my pistols with about four bullets each, and in this posture, well provided with ammunition for a second and third charge, I prepared myself for my expedition. After I had thus laid the scheme of my design, and in my imagination put it into practice, I continually made my tour every morning to the top of the hill, which was from my castle, as I call it, about three miles or more, to see if I could observe any boats upon the sea, coming near the island, or standing over towards it. But I began to tire of this hard duty, after I had for two or three months constantly kept my watch, but came always back without any discovery. There having not in all that time been the least appearance, not even on or near the shore, but on the whole ocean, so far as my eye or glass could reach every way. As long as I kept my daily tour to the hill, to look out, so long also I kept up the vigor of my design, and my spirit seemed to be all the while in a suitable frame for so outrageous an execution as the killing of twenty or thirty naked savages, for an offense which I had not at all entered into any discussion of, in my thoughts. Any farther than my passions were at first fired by the horror I conceived at the unnatural custom of the people of that country, who it seems had been suffered by Providence in his wise disposition of the world, to have no other guide than that of their own abominable and vitiated passions, and consequently were left, and perhaps had been so, for some ages, to act such hard things, and receive such dreadful customs as nothing but nature entirely abandoned by heaven, and actuated by some hellish degeneracy which could have run them into. But now, when, as I have said, I began to be weary of the fruitless excursion which I made so long and so far every morning in vain, so my opinion of the action itself began to alter, and I began, with cooler and calmer thoughts, to consider what I was going to engage in, what authority or call I had to pretend to be judge and executioner upon these men as criminals, whom heaven had thought fit for so many ages to suffer unpunished to go on, and to be, as it were, the executioners of his judgments one upon another. How far these people were offenders against me, and what right I had to engage in the quarrel of that blood which they shed promiscuously upon one another. I debated this very often with myself thus. How do I know what God himself judges in this particular case? It is certain these people do not commit this as a crime. It is not against their own consciences reproving, or their light reproaching them. They do not know it to be an offence, and then commit it in defiance of divine justice, as we do in almost all the sins we commit. They think it no more a crime to kill a captive taken in war than we do to kill an ox, or to eat human flesh than we do to eat mutton. When I considered this a little, it followed necessarily that I was certainly in the wrong, that these people were not murderers in the sense that I had before condemned them in my thoughts, any more than those Christians were murderers who often put to death the prisoners taken in battle, or more frequently, upon many occasions, put whole troops of men to the sword, without giving quarter, though they threw down their arms and submitted. In the next place, it occurred to me that although the usage they gave one another was thus brutish and inhuman, yet it was really nothing to me. These people had done me no injury. That if they attempted, or I saw it necessary, for my own immediate preservation to fall upon them, something might be said for it. But that I was yet out of their power, and they really had no knowledge of me, and consequently no design upon me, and therefore it could not be just for me to fall upon them. That this would justify the conduct of the Spaniards and all their barbarities practiced in America, where they destroyed millions of these people, who, however they were idolaters and barbarians, and had several bloody and barbarous rites in their customs, such as sacrificing human bodies to their idols, were yet, as to the Spaniards, very innocent people, and that the rooting them out of the country is spoken of with utmost abhorrence and detestation by even the Spaniards themselves at this time, and by all other Christian nations of Europe, as a mere butchery, a bloody and unnatural piece of cruelty unjustifiable either to God or man, and for which the very name of a Spaniard is reckoned to be frightful and terrible to all people of humanity or of Christian compassion, as if the Kingdom of Spain were particularly eminent for the produce of a race of men who were without principles of tenderness or the common bowels of pity to the miserable which is reckoned to be a mark of generous temper in the mind. These considerations really put me to a pause, and to a kind of a full stop, and I began by little and little to be off my design, and to conclude I had taken wrong measures in my resolution to attack the savages, and that it was not my business to meddle with them unless they first attacked me, and this it was my business, if possible, to prevent. But that, if I were discovered and attacked by them, I knew my duty. On the other hand, I argued with myself that this really was the way not to deliver myself, but entirely to ruin and destroy myself, for unless I was sure to kill every one that not only should be unsure at that time, but that should ever come unsure afterwards, if but one of them escaped to tell their country people what had happened, they would come over again by thousands to revenge the death of their fellows, and I should only bring upon myself a certain destruction, which at present I had no manner of occasion for. Upon the whole I concluded that I ought, neither in principle nor in policy, one way or other, to concern myself in this affair. That my business was, by all means possible, to conceal myself from them, and not to leave the least sign for them to guess by that there were any living creatures upon the island, I mean of human shape. Religion joined in with this prudential resolution, and I was convinced now, many ways, that I was perfectly out of my duty when I was laying all my bloody schemes for the destruction of innocent creatures, I mean, innocent as to me. As to the crimes they were guilty up towards one another, I had nothing to do with them, they were national, and I ought to leave them to the justice of God, who is the governor of nations, and knows how, by national punishments, to make a just retribution for national offences, and to bring public judgments upon those who offend in a public manner, by such ways as best please him. This appeared so clear to me now, that nothing was a greater satisfaction to me than that I had not been suffered to do a thing, which I now saw so much reason to believe would have been no less a sin than that of willful murder, if I had committed it. And I gave most humble thanks all my knees to God, that he had thus delivered me from blood-guildiness, beseeching him to grant me the protection of his providence, that I might not fall into the hands of the historians, or that I might not lay my hands upon them, unless I had a more clear call from heaven to do it, in defense of my own life. In this disposition I continued for near a year after this, and so far was I from desiring an occasion for falling upon these wretches, that in all that time I never once went up the hill to see whether there were any of them in sight, or to know whether any of them had been on shore there or not, that I might not be tempted to renew any of my contrivances against them, or be provoked by any advantage that might present itself to fall upon them. Only this I did. I went and removed my boat, which I had on the other side of the island, and carried it down to the east end of the whole island, where I ran it into a little cove, which I found under some high rocks, and where I knew, by reason of the currents, the savages durst not, at least would not, come with their boats upon any account whatever. With my boat I carried away everything that I had left there belonging to her, though not necessary for the bear-going thither, that is, a mast and sail which I had made for her, and a thing like an anchor, but which indeed could not be called either anchor or grapnel, however it was the best I could make of its kind. All these I removed, that there might not be the least shadow for discovery or appearance of any boat or of any human habitation upon the island. Besides this I kept myself, as I said, more retired than ever, and seldom went from my cell except upon my constant employment to milk my she-goats and manage my little flock in the wood, which, as it was quite on the other part of the island, was out of danger, for certain. It was the savage people who sometimes haunted this island, never came with any thoughts of finding anything here, and consequently never wandered off from the coast, and I doubt not, but they might have been several times on shore after my apprehensions of them had made me cautious, as well as before. Indeed, I looked back with some horror upon the thoughts of what my condition would have been if I had chopped upon them and been discovered before that. When, naked and unarmed, except with one gun, and that loaded often only with small shot, I walked everywhere, peeping and peering about the island, to see what I could get. What a surprise should I have been in if, when I discovered the print of a man's foot, I had, instead of that, seen fifteen or twenty savages, and found them pursuing me, and by the swiftness of their running no possibility of my escaping them. The thoughts of this sometimes sank my very soul within me, and distressed my mind so much that I could not soon recover it, to think what I should have done, and how I should not only have been unable to resist them, but even should not have had presence of mind enough to do what I might have done, much less what now, after so much consideration and preparation, I might be able to do. Indeed, after serious thinking of these things, I would be melancholy, and sometimes it would last a great while. But I resolved it all at last into thankfulness to that providence which had delivered me from so many unseen dangers, and had kept me from those mischiefs which I could have no way been the agent in delivering myself from, because I had not the least notion of any such thing depending, or the least supposition of its being possible. This renewed a contemplation which often had come into my thoughts in former times, when first I began to see the merciful dispositions of heaven. In the dangers we run through in this life, how wonderfully we are delivered when we know nothing of it, how, when we are in a quandary, as we call it, a doubt or hesitation whether to go this way or that way, a secret hint shall direct us this way when we intended to go that way. Nay, when sense, our own inclination, and perhaps business, has called us to go the other way, yet a strange impression upon the mind, from we know not what springs, and by we know not what power, shall overrule us to go this way, and it shall afterwards appear that had we gone that way, which we should have gone, and even to our imagination ought to have gone, we should have been ruined and lost. Upon these and many like reflections I afterwards made it a certain rule with me, that whenever I found those secret hints or pressings of mine to doing or not doing anything that presented, or going this way or that way, I never failed to obey the secret dictate, though I knew no other reason for it than such a pressure or such a hint hung upon my mind. I could give many examples of the success of this conduct in the course of my life, but more especially in the latter part of my inhabiting this unhappy island, because besides many occasions which it is very likely I might have taken notice of, if I had seen with the same eyes that I see with now. But it is never too late to be wise, and I cannot but advise all considering men, whose lives are attended with such extraordinary incidents as mine, and even though not so extraordinary, not to slight such secret intimations of providence, let them come from what invisible intelligence they will. That I shall not discuss and perhaps cannot account for, but certainly they are a proof of the converse of spirits, and a secret communication between those embodied and those unembodied, and such a proof as can never be understood, of which I shall have occasion to give some remarkable instances in the remainder of my solitary residence in this dismal place. I believe the reader of this will not think it strange if I confess that these anxieties, these constant dangers I lived in, and the concern that was now upon me, put an end to all invention, and to all the contrivances that I had laid for my future accommodations and conveniences. I had the care of my safety more now upon my hands than that of my food. I cared not to drive a nail, or chop a stick of wood now, for fear the noise I might make should be heard. Much less would I fire a gun for the same reason, and above all I was intolerably uneasy at making any fire, lest the smoke, which is visible at a great distance in the day, should betray me. For this reason I removed that part of my business which required fire, such as burning of pots and pipes, etc., into my new apartment in the woods, where, after I had been some time, I found, to my unspeakable consolation, a mere natural cave in the earth which went in a vast way, and where, I dare say, no savage, had he been at the mouth of it, would be so hard he as to venture in, nor indeed would any man else, but one who, like me, wanted nothing so much as a safe retreat. The mouth of this hollow was at the bottom of a great rock, where, by mere accident, I would say, if I did not see abundant reason to ascribe all such things now, to Providence. I was cutting down some thick branches of trees to make charcoal, and before I go on, I must observe the reason of my making this charcoal, which was this. I was afraid of making a smoke about my habitation, as I said before, and yet I could not live there without baking my bread, cooking my meat, etc., so I contrived to burn some wood here, as I had seen done in England, under turf, till it became chark, or dry coal, and then putting the fire out, I preserved the coal to carry home, and performed the other services for which fire was wanting, without danger of smoke. But this is by the by. While I was cutting down some wood here, I perceived that, behind a very thick branch of low brush wood or under wood, there was a kind of hollow place. I was curious to look in it, and getting with difficulty into the mouth of it, I found it was pretty large, that is to say, sufficient for me to stand upright in it, and perhaps another with me. But I must confess to you that I made more haste out than I did in, when looking farther into the place, and which was perfectly dark, I saw two broad shining eyes of some creature, whether devil or man I knew not, which twinkled like two stars, the dim light from the cave's mouth shining directly in, and making the reflection. However, after some pause, I recovered myself, and began to call myself a thousand fools, and to think that he that was afraid to see the devil was not fit to live twenty years in an island all alone, and that I might well think there was nothing in this cave that was more frightful than myself. Upon this, plucking up my courage, I took up a fire-brand, and in I rushed again with the stick flaming in my hand. I had not gone three steps in before I was almost as frightened as before, for I heard a very loud sigh, like that of a man in some pain, and it was followed by a broken noise, as of words half expressed, and then a deep sigh again. I stepped back, and was indeed struck with such such surprise that it put me into a cold sweat, and if I had had a hat on my head I will not answer for it that my hair might not have lifted it off. But still plucking up my spirits as well as I could, and encouraging myself a little with considering that the power and presence of God was everywhere, and was able to protect me, I stepped forward again, and by the light of the fire-brand, holding it up a little over my head, I saw lying on the ground a monstrous frightful old he-goat, just making his will, as we say, and gasping for life, and dying indeed of mere old age. I stirred him a little to see if I could get him out. Then he assayed to get up, but was not able to raise himself, and I thought with myself he might even lie there, for if he had frightened me, so he would certainly fright any of the savages, if any of them should be so hard he as to come in there while he had any life in him. I was now recovered from my surprise, and began to look round me. When I found the cave was but very small. That is to say, it might be about twelve feet over, but in no manner of shape, neither round nor square, no hands having ever been employed in making it but those of mere nature. I observed also that there was a place at the farther side of it that went in further, but was so low that it required me to creep upon my hands and knees to go into it, and wither it went I knew not. So, having no candle, I gave it over for that time, but resolved to go again the next day provided with candles and a tinder-box, which I have made of the lock of one of the muskets, with some wildfire in the pan. Accordingly, the next day I came provided with six large candles of my own making, for I made very good candles now of goat's tallow, but was hard set for candle-wick, using sometimes rags or rope-yarn, and sometimes the dried rind of a weed like nettles. And going into this low place I was obliged to creep upon all fours, as I have said, most ten yards, which, by the way, I thought was a venture bold enough, considering that I knew not how far it might go, nor what was beyond it. When I had got through the straight, I found the roof rose higher up, I believe near twenty feet, but never was such a glorious sight seen in the island, I dare say, as it was to look round the sides and roof of this vault or cave. The wall reflected a hundred thousand lights to me from my two candles. What it was in the rock, whether diamonds or any other precious stones, or gold which I rather supposed it to be, I knew not. The place I was in was a most delightful cavity, or grotto, though perfectly dark. The floor was dry and level, and had a sort of a small loose gravel upon it, so that there was no nauseous or venomous creature to be seen, neither was there any damp or wet on the sides or roof. The only difficulty in it was the entrance, which, however, as it was a place of security, and such a retreat as I wanted, I thought was a convenience, so that I really rejoiced at the discovery and resolved, without any delay, to bring some of those things which I was most anxious about to this place. Particularly, I resolved to bring hither my magazine of powder and all my spare arms, that is, two fouling pieces, for I had three in all, and three muskets, for of them I had eight in all, so I kept in my castle only five, which stood ready mounted like pieces of cannon on my outmost fence, and were ready also to take out upon any expedition. Upon this occasion of removing my ammunition I happened to open the barrel of powder which I took up out of the sea, and which had been wet, and I found that the water had penetrated about three or four inches into the powder on every side, which, caking and growing hard, had preserved the inside like a kernel in the shell, so that it had near sixty pounds of very good powder in the center of the cask. This was a very agreeable discovery to me at that time, so I carried all away thither, never keeping above two or three pounds of powder with me in my castle, for fear of a surprise of any kind, I also carried thither all the lead I had left for bullets. I fancied myself now like one of the ancient giants who were said to live in caves and holes in the rocks, where none could come at them, for I persuaded myself, while I was here, that if five hundred savages were to hunt me they could never find me out, or if they did they would not venture to attack me here. The old goat whom I found expiring died in the mouth of the cave the next day after I made this discovery, and I found it much easier to dig a great hole there and throw him in and cover him with earth than to drag him out, so I interred him there to prevent offence to my nose. CHAPTER XIII of A SPANISH SHIP I was now in the twenty-third year of my residence in this island, and was so naturalized to the place and the manner of living that could I but have enjoyed the certainty that no savages would come to the place to disturb me, I could have been content to have capitulated for spending the rest of my time there, even to the last moment, till I had laid me down and died like the old goat in the cave. I had also arrived to some little diversions and amusements which made the time pass a great deal more pleasantly with me than it did before. First I had taught my Paul, as I noted before, to speak, and he did it so familiarly and talked so articulately and plain that it was very pleasant to me, and he lived with me no less than six and twenty years. How long he might have lived afterwards I know not, though I know they have a notion in the Brazils that they live a hundred years. My dog was a pleasant and loving companion to me for no less than sixteen years of my time, and then died of mere old age. As for my cats they multiplied, as I have observed, to that degree that I was obliged to shoot several of them at first, to keep them from devouring me in all I had. But at length when the two old ones I brought with me were gone, and after some time continually driving them from me and letting them have no provision with me, they all ran wild into the woods, except two or three favourites, which I kept, tame, and whose young, when they had any, I always drowned, and these were part of my family. Besides these I always kept two or three household kids about me, whom I taught to feed out of my hand, and I had two more parrots, which talked pretty well, and would all call, "'Ram and Crusul!' but none like my first. Nor indeed did I take the pains with any of them that I had done with him. I had also several tame sea-fowls, whose name I knew not, that I caught upon the shore, and cut their wings, and the little steaks which I had planted before my castle wall being now grown up to a good thick grove. These fowls all lived among these low trees, and bred there, which was very agreeable to me. So that, as I set above, I began to be very well contented with the life I led, if I could have been secured from the dread of the savages. But it was otherwise directed, and it may not be a miss for all people who shall meet with my story, to make this just observation from it. How frequently, in the course of our lives, the evil which in itself we seek most to shun, and which, when we are fallen into, is the most dreadful to us, is often times the very means or door of our deliverance, by which alone we can be raised again from the affliction we are fallen into. I could give many examples of this in the course of my unaccountable life, but in nothing was it more particularly remarkable than in the circumstances of my last years of solitary resonance in this island. It was now the month of December, as I set above, in my twenty-third year, and this, being the southern solstice, for winter, I cannot call it, was the particular time of my harvest and required me to be pretty much abroad in the fields. When, going out early in the morning, even before it was thorough daylight, I was surprised with seeing a light of some fire upon the shore, at a distance from me of about two miles, toward that part of the island where I had observed some savages had been, as before, and not on the other side. But to my great affliction it was on my side of the island. I was indeed terribly surprised at the sight and stopped short within my grove, not daring to go out, lest I might be surprised. And yet I had no more peace within, from the apprehensions I had that if these savages, in rambling over the island, should find my corn standing or cut, or any of my works or improvements, they would immediately conclude that there were people in the place, and would then never rest till they had found me out. In this extremity I went back directly to my castle, pulled up the ladder after me, and made all things without look as wild and natural as I could. Then I prepared myself within, putting myself in a posture of defense. I loaded all my cannon, as I called them, that is to say, my muskets, which were mounted upon my new fortification, and all my pistols, and resolved to defend myself to the last gasp, not forgetting seriously to commend myself to the divine protection, and earnestly to pray to God to deliver me out of the hands of the barbarians. I continued in this posture about two hours, and began to be impatient for intelligence abroad, for I had no spies to send out. After sitting a while longer, amusing what I should do in this case, I was not able to bear sitting in ignorance longer, so setting up my ladder to the side of the hill, where there was a flat place, as I observed before, and then pulling the ladder after me, I set it up again and mounted the top of the hill, and pulling out my perspective glass which I had taken on purpose, I laid me down flat on my belly on the ground, and began to look for the place. I presently found there were no less than nine naked savages sitting round a small fire they had made, not to warm them, for they had no need of that, the weather being extremely hot, but, as I supposed, to dress some of their barbarous diet of human flesh which they had brought with them, whether alive or dead I could not tell. They had two canoes with them, which they had hauled up onto the shore, and as it was then, ebb of tide, they seemed to me to wait for the return of the flood to go away again. It is not easy to imagine what confusion this sight put me into, especially seeing them come on my side of the island, and so near to me. But when I considered their coming must be always with the current of the ebb, I began afterwards to be more sedate in my mind, being satisfied that I might go abroad with safety all the time of the flood of tide, if they were not on shore before, and having made this observation, I went abroad about my harvest work with the more composure. As I expected, so it proved. For as soon as the tide made to the westward I saw them all take boat and row, or paddle, as we call it, away. I should have observed that for an hour or more before they went off they were dancing, and I could easily discern their postures and gestures by my glass. I could not perceive, by my nicest observation, but that they were stark naked, and had not the least covering upon them. But whether they were men or women, I could not distinguish. As soon as I saw them shipped and gone, I took two guns upon my shoulders and two pistols in my girdle, and my great sword by my side without a scabbard, and with all the speed I was able to make went away to the hill where I had discovered the first appearance of all. And as soon as I get thither, which was not in less than two hours, for I could not go quickly, being so loaded with arms as I was, I perceived there had been three canoes more of the savages at that place, and looking out farther, I saw they were all at sea together, making over for the main. This was a dreadful sight to me, especially as, going down to the shore, I could see the marks of horror which the dismal work they had been about had left behind it, that is, the blood, the bones, and part of the flesh of human bodies eaten and devoured by those wretches with merriment and sport. I was so filled with indignation at the sight, that I now began to premeditate the destruction of the next that I saw there, let them be whom or how many soever. It seemed evident to me that the visits which they made thus to this island were not very frequent, for it was above fifteen months before any more of them came on shore there again. That is to say, I never saw them or any footsteps or signals of them in all that time, for as to the rainy seasons, then they are sure not to come abroad, at least not so far. Yet all this while I lived uncomfortably by reason of the constant apprehensions of their coming upon me by surprise, from whence I observe that the expectation of evil is more bitter than the suffering, especially if there is no room to shake off that expectation or those apprehensions. During all this time I was in a murdering humour, and spent most of my hours, which should have been better employed, in contriving how to circumvent and fall upon them the very next time I should see them, especially if they should be divided as they were the last time into two parties, nor did I consider at all that if I killed one party, suppose ten or a dozen, I was still the next day, or week, or month, to kill another, and so another, even add infinitum, till I should be at length no less a murderer than they were in being man-eaters, and perhaps much more so. I spent my days now in great perplexity and anxiety of mind, expecting that I should one day or other fall into the hands of these merciless creatures, and if I did at any time venture abroad it was not without looking around me with the greatest care and caution imaginable. And now I found, to my great comfort, how happy it was that I had provided a tame flock or herd of goats, for I durced not upon any account fire my gun, especially near that side of the island where they usually came, lest I should alarm the savages, and if they had fled from me now, I was sure to have them come again with perhaps two or three hundred canoes with them in a few days, and then I knew what to expect. However I wore out a year and three months more before I ever saw any more of the savages, and then I found them again, as I shall soon observe. It is true they might have been there once or twice, but either they made no stay, or at least I did not see them, but in the month of May, as near as I could calculate, and in my four-and-twentieth year I had a very strange encounter with them, of which in its place. The perturbation of my mind during this fifteen or sixteen months interval was very great. I slept unquietly, dreamed always frightful dreams, and often started out of my sleep in the night. In the day great troubles overwhelmed my mind, and in the night I dreamed often of killing the savages, and of the reasons why I might justify doing it. But to wave all this for a while. It was in the middle of May, on the sixteenth day, I think, as well as my poor wooden calendar would reckon, for I marked all upon the post still. I say it was on the sixteenth of May that it blew a very great storm of wind all day, with a great deal of lightning and thunder, and a very fell night it was, after it. I knew not what was the particular occasion of it, but as I was reading in the Bible, and taken up with very serious thoughts about my present condition, I was surprised with the noise of a gun, as I thought, fired at sea. This was, to be sure, a surprise quite of a different nature from any I had met with before, for the notions this put into my thoughts were quite of another kind. I started up in the greatest haste imaginable, and in a trice clapped my ladder to the middle place of the rock, and pulled it up after me, and mounting at the second time, got to the top of the hill the very moment that a flash of fire bid me listen for a second gun, which accordingly, in about half a minute, I heard, and by the sound I knew that it was from that part of the sea where I was driven down the current in my boat. I immediately considered that this must be some ship in distress, and that they had some comrade, or some other ship in company, and fired these for signals of distress, and to obtain help. I had the presence of mind at that minute to think, that though I could not help them, it might be that they might help me, so I brought together all the dry wood I could get at hand, and making a good handsome pile I set it on fire upon the hill. The wood was dry, and blazed freely, and though the wind blew very hard, yet it burned fairly out, so that I was certain, if there was any such thing as a ship, they must needs see it. And no doubt they did, for as soon as ever my fire blazed up, I heard another gun, and after that several others, all from the same quarter. I plied my fire all night long, till day break, and when it was broad day, and the air cleared up, I saw something at a great distance at sea, full east of the island, whether a sail or a hull I could not distinguish, no, not with my glass. The distance was so great, and the weather still something hazy also, at least it was so out at sea. I looked frequently at it all that day, and soon perceived that it did not move, so I presently concluded that it was a ship at anchor. And being eager, you may be sure, to be satisfied, I took my gun in my hand, and ran towards the south side of the island to the rocks where I had formerly been carried away by the current, and getting up there, the weather by this time being perfectly clear, I could plainly see, to my great sorrow, the wreck of a ship, cast away in the night upon those concealed rocks which I found when I was out in my boat, and which rocks, as they checked the violence of the stream, and made a kind of counter-stream or eddy, were the occasion of my recovering from the most desperate, hopeless condition that ever I had been in all my life. Thus what is one man's safety is another man's destruction, for it seems these men, whoever they were, being out of their knowledge, and the rocks being wholly under water, had been driven upon them in the night, the wind blowing hard at east-northeast. Had they seen the island, as I must necessarily suppose they did not, they must, as I thought, have endeavored to have saved themselves on shore by the help of their boat. But their firing off guns for help, especially when they saw, as I imagined, my fire, filled me with many thoughts. First I imagined that upon seeing my light they might have put themselves into their boat, and endeavored to make the shore, but that the sea, running very high, they might have been cast away. Other times I imagined that they might have lost their boat before, as might be the case many ways, particularly by the breaking of the sea upon their ship, which many times obliged men to stave or take in pieces their boat, and sometimes to throw it overboard with their own hands. Other times I imagined they had some other ship or ships in company, who, upon the signals of distress they made, had taken them up and carried them off. Other times I fancied they were all gone off to sea in their boat, and being hurried away by the current that I had been formerly in, were carried out into the great ocean where there was nothing but misery and perishing, and that perhaps they might by this time think of starving, and of being in a condition to eat one another. As all these were but conjectures at best, so in the condition I was in, I could do no more than look upon the misery of the poor men and pity them, which had still this good effect upon my side, that it gave me more and more cause to give thanks to God, who had so happily and comfortably provided for me in my desolate condition, and that of two ships' companies, who were now cast away upon this part of the world, not one life should be spared but mine. I learned here again to observe that it is very rare that the providence of God casts us into any condition so low, or any misery so great, but we may see something or other to be thankful for, and may see others in worse circumstances than our own. Such certainly was the case of these men, of whom I could not so much as see room to suppose any were saved. Nothing could make it rational so much as to wish or expect, that they did not all perish there, except the possibility only of there being taken up by another ship and company. And that this was but mere possibility indeed, for I saw not the least sign or appearance of any such thing. I cannot explain, by any possible energy of words, what a strange longing I felt in my soul upon this sight, breaking out sometimes thus. Oh, that there had been but one or two, nay, or but one soul saved out of this ship, to have escaped to me, that I might but have had one companion, one fellow creature, to have spoken to me and to have conversed with. In all the time of my solitary life I never felt so earnest, so strong a desire after the society of my fellow creatures, or so deep a regret at the want of it. These were some secret springs in the affections which, when they are set a-going by some object in view, or, though not in view, yet rendered present to the mind by the power of imagination, that motion carries out the soul, by its impetuosity, to such violent, vigor embracings of the object, that the absence of it is insupportable. Such were these earnest wishings that but one man had been saved. I believe I repeated the words, oh, that it had been but one! A thousand times! and my desires were so moved by it, that when I spoke the words my hands would clinch together, and my fingers would press the palms of my hands, so that if I had had any soft thing in my hand I should have crushed it involuntarily, and the teeth of my head would strike together, and set against one another so strong that for some time I could not part them again. Let the naturalists explain these things, and the reason and manner of them. All I can do is to describe the fact, which was even surprising to me when I found it, though I knew not from whence it proceeded. It was doubtless the effect of ardent wishes, and of strong ideas formed in my mind, realizing the comfort which the conversation of one of my fellow Christians would have been to me. But it was not to be. Either their fate or mine, or both, forbade it. For till the last year of my being on this island I never knew whether any were saved out of that ship or no, and had only the affliction some days after to see the corpse of a drowned boy come on shore at the end of the island which was next the shipwreck. He had no clothes on but a seamen's waistcoat, a pair of open-need linen drawers, and a blue linen shirt, but nothing to direct me so much as to guess what nation he was of. He had nothing in his pockets but two pieces of eight, and a tobacco pipe. The last was to me of ten times more value than the first. It was now calm, and I had a great mind to venture out of my boat to this wreck, not doubting but I might find something on board that might be useful to me. But that did not altogether press me so much as the possibility that there might be yet some living creature on board, whose life I might not only save, but might, by saving that life, comfort my own to the last degree, and this thought clung so to my heart that I could not be quiet night or day, but I must venture out of my boat on board this wreck. When committing the rest of God's providence I thought the impression was so strong upon my mind that it could not be resisted, that it must come from some invisible direction, and that I should be wanting to myself if I did not go. Under the power of this impression I hastened back to my castle, prepared everything for my voyage, took a quantity of bread, a great pot of fresh water, a compass to steer by, a bottle of rum, for I had still a great deal of that left, and a basket of raisins, and thus loading myself with everything necessary. I went down to my boat, got the water out of her, got her afloat, loaded all my cargo in her, and then went home again for more. My second cargo was a great bag of rice, the umbrella to set up over my head for a shade, another large pot of water, and about two dozen of small loaves, or barley-cakes, more than before, with a bottle of goat's milk and a cheese, all which with great labor and sweat I carried to my boat, and praying to God to direct my voyage, I put out, and rowing, or paddling the canoe along the shore, came at last to the utmost point of the island on the northeast side, and now I was to launch out into the ocean, and either to venture or not to venture. I looked on the rapid currents which ran constantly on both sides of the island at a distance, and which were very terrible to me from the remembrance of the hazard I had been in before. And my heart began to fail me, for I foresaw that if I was driven into either of those currents, I should be carried a great way out to sea, and perhaps out of my reach or sight of the island again, and that then, as my boat was but small, if any little gale of wind should rise, I should be inevitably lost. These thoughts so oppressed my mind that I began to give over my enterprise, and having hauled my boat into a little creek on the shore, I stepped out, and sat down upon a rising bit of ground, very pensive and anxious, between fear and desire, about my voyage, when, as I was musing, I could perceive that the tide was turned and the flood come on, upon which my going was impracticable for so many hours. Upon this, presently it occurred to me that I should go up to the highest piece of ground I could find, and observe, if I could, how the sets of the tide or currents lay when the flood came in, that I might judge whether, if I was driven one way out, I might not expect to be driven another way home, with the same rapidity of the currents. This thought was no sooner in my head than I cast my eye upon a little hill which sufficiently overlooked the sea both ways, and from once I had a clear view of the currents or sets of the tide, and which way I was to guide myself in my return. Here I found that, as the current of ebb set out close by the south point of the island, so the current of the flood setting close by the shore of the north side, and that I had nothing to do but to keep to the north side of the island in my return, and I should do well enough. Encouraged by this observation, I resolved the next morning to set out with the first of the tide, and reposing myself for the night in my canoe, under the watch-code I mentioned, I launched out. I first made a little out to sea, full north, till I began to feel the benefit of the current, which set eastward, and which carried me at a great rate, and yet did not so hurry me as the current on the south side had done before, so as to take from me all government of the boat, but having a strong steerage with my paddle, I went at a great rate directly for the wreck, and in less than two hours I came up to it. It was a dismal sight to look at. The ship, which by its building was Spanish, stuck fast, jammed in between two rocks. All the stern and quarter of her were beaten to pieces by the sea, and as her forecastle, which stuck in the rocks, had run on with great violence, her main mass and foremass were brought by the board, that is to say, broken short off. But her bow-sprit was sound, and the head and bow appeared firm. When I came close to her a dog appeared upon her, who, seeing me coming, yelped and cried, and as soon as I called him, jumped into the sea to come to me. I took him into the boat, but found him almost dead with hunger and thirst. I gave him a cake of my bread, and he devoured it like a ravenous wolf that had been starving a fortnight in the snow. I then gave the poor creature some fresh water, with which, if I would have let him, he would have burst himself. After this I went on board. But the first sight I met with was two men drowned in the cook room, or forecastle of the ship, with their arms fast about one another. I concluded, as is indeed probable, that when the ship struck, it being in a storm, the sea broke so high and so continually over her, that the men were not able to bear it, and were strangled with a constant rushing in of the water, as much as if they had been underwater. Besides the dog there was nothing left in the ship that had life, nor any goods that I could see, but what were spoiled by the water. There were some casks of liquor, whether wine or brandy I knew not, which lay lower in the hold, and which the water being ebbed out I could see. But they were too big to meddle with. I saw several chests which I believe belonged to some of the seamen, and I got two of them into the boat, without examining what was in them. Had the stern of the ship been fixed, and the forepart broken off, I am persuaded I might have made a good voyage. Or by what I found in those two chests I had room to suppose the ship had a great deal of wealth on board. And if I may guess from the course she steered, she must have been bound from Buenos Aires, or the Rio de la Plata, in the south part of America, beyond the Brazils to the Havana, in the Gulf of Mexico, and so perhaps to Spain. She had no doubt a great treasure in her, but of no use at that time to anybody, and what became of the crew I then do not. I found, besides these chests, a little cask full of liquor, of about twenty gallons which I got into my boat with much difficulty. There were several muskets in the cabin, and a great powder horn, with about four pounds of powder in it, as for the muskets I had no occasion for them, so I left them, but took the powder horn. I took a fire shovel and tongs, which I wanted extremely, as also two little brass kettles, a copper pot to make chocolate, and a grid iron, and with this cargo and the dog I came away, the tide beginning to make home again, and the same evening, about an hour within night, I reached the island again weary and fatigued to the last degree. I reposed that night in the boat, and in the morning I resolved to harbour what I had got in my new cave, and not carry it home to my castle. After refreshing myself, I got all my cargo on shore, and began to examine the particulars. The cask of liquor I found to be a kind of rum, but not such as we had at the Brazils, and in a word, not at all good, but when I came to open the chests I found several things of great use to me. For example, I found in one a fine case of bottles of an extraordinary kind, and filled with cordial waters, fine and very good. The bottles held about three pints each, and were tipped with silver. I found two pots of very good succodes, or sweet-meats, so fast and also on the top that the salt water had not hurt them, and two more of the same which the water had spoiled. I found some very good shirts, which were very welcome to me, and about a dozen and a half of white linen handkerchiefs and colored neckcloths. The former were also very welcome, being exceedingly refreshing to wipe my face in a hot day. Besides this, when I came to the till in the chest, I found there three great bags of pieces of eight, which held about eleven hundred pieces in all, and in one of them wrapped up in a paper, six doubloons of gold, and some small bars or wedges of gold. I suppose they might all weigh near a pound. In the other chest were some clothes but of little value, but by the circumstances it must have belonged to the gunner's mate, though there was no powder in it except two pounds of fine glazed powder and three flasks, kept, I suppose, for charging their fouling-pieces on occasion. Upon the whole I got very little by this voyage that was of any use to me, for as to the money I had no manner of occasion for it. To me as the dirt under my feet, and I would have given it all for three or four pair of English shoes and stockings, which were things I greatly wanted, but had had none on my feet for many years. I had indeed got two pair of shoes now, which I took off the feet of two drowned men whom I saw in the wreck, and I found two pair more in one of the chests, which were very welcome to me, but they were not like our English shoes, either for ease or service, being rather what we call pumps than shoes. I found in this seamen's chest about fifty pieces of eight, in reals, but no gold. I suppose this belonged to a poorer man than the other, which seemed to belong to some officer. Well, however, I lugged this money home to my cave and laid it up, as I had done that before which I had brought from our own ship. But it was a great pity, as I said, that the other part of this ship had not come to my share. For I am satisfied I might have loaded my canoe several times over with money, and thought I, if I ever escaped to England, it might lie here safe enough till I come again and fetch it. End of chapter 13