 In this video, we're going to be talking about why Beck couldn't help Peach and just a warning there's going to be talk about suicide in this video. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution. And if you're new to my channel, my channel is all about mental health and what I like to do sometimes is pull different topics from pop culture like shows on Netflix you might be watching to teach you how to improve your mental and emotional well-being. And in this video, we're actually going to be talking about how to help a friend who might be struggling with their mental health, alright? So make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. Before we get started, you guys, we at this moment in time, we are only 1700 people away from 10,000 followers on Instagram. You guys are amazing but we're so, so, so close. So if you haven't yet, go follow me on Instagram after Rewired Soul. I'm trying to help you all out and help myself by making things easier by getting the little swipe up feature for Instagram stories. So go follow me over on Instagram, tag your friends, tag your friends and tell them to follow me too. And we'll do this thing together, baby. So yeah, we're going to be talking about the show You Over on Netflix. Great show. Tristan and I actually have one more episode to watch. We're about to watch it as soon as I record this video. But if you have not watched the show You Yet or if you haven't gotten to episode nine, there's going to be spoilers. So if you're in the middle of the season or you haven't watched it yet, turn this video off, come back later. If you're not playing on watching the show and you just want to learn some stuff about mental health, stay tuned. All right. But anyways, yeah, we're going to be talking about Peach and Beck, mainly Peach. Yeah, mainly Beck. All right. But yeah, so what we're going to be focusing on is Peach threatening suicide or even attempting suicide, right? So this is something that comes up quite a bit and that's why I want to talk about it. So just a little quick recap of the show. When Beck got into a fight with Peach, Peach ended up taking a bunch of pills, calling up Beck and saying, Hey, I just took all these pills. Beck races over with Joe and they go over there and Joe finds out that she didn't really take like anything that could really kill her. And Joe had to have this awkward conversation with Beck about how she didn't take anything that would actually kill her, right? But what Beck tells Joe is that, you know, this isn't the first time that Peach has done this, all right? And this is something that a lot of people deal with, okay? I've made videos about suicide before and things like that. But a question we get a lot is like, like, how do you know someone's serious? How do you know if somebody's telling the truth and all of that? So as we find out later in the season, like, Peach is manipulating Beck a ton. And by the way, I put up a poll over on my community tab about what topics you want me to cover. Like everybody chill out. I'm 99.9% sure I'm going to cover all those topics as well as more. I just want to see which ones you wanted first. But anyways, I'm going to do another one about Peach gaslighting Beck. But yeah, Peach was manipulating Beck. And this is what we call holding somebody as an emotional hostage, okay? So this might be your friend. This might be a significant other. I think the instance that I hear about the most is if you break up with me, I'm going to kill myself. All right? This happens a ton. A lot of you came to my channel for my elimination videos, right? And one issue that elimination had was that that dude Harris kept threatening to kill himself, right? And this is a way that people keep control over us, okay? So here's some tips on how to deal with this. The first major important thing to understand, and it's going to sound harsh at first, but bear with me. First important thing to understand is you cannot save anybody, okay? You are not a licensed therapist. You are not a psychologist. You are not like a doctor or an EMT or anything like that. You cannot save anyone. So one of the things that we do is we take way too much responsibility for other people's emotions and actions, all right? So you have to remember that you cannot save anybody. Now, this is something that I had to learn. Some of you who have watched my videos about how many people I've lost, most of them are former clients. Some of them are people I knew outside of work and outside of my clients. But as of recording this video, I've lost about 76 people in the last three and a half years or so. I could not have done that job if I took responsibility for every single relapse, every single overdose, every single suicide. I would have drove myself insane. Now, one of the ways that I got out of that way of thinking was coming from a 12-step background, I had a sponsor who I would talk to because when this started happening, I was going nuts because I would sit there and rack my brain around it and be like, what could I have done? What could I have done more? What could I have done more? Now, that's a good thing that I felt that way because that means I care, but my sponsor had to remind me that I only have so much power, right? So what I did with my job, and this is something I advise all of you to do, I came in every single day the same way I do this YouTube channel and I give it 110%. I do the best I possibly can, all right? But I would drive myself insane and for an addict like myself who's in recovery, that could lead me to relapse if I took responsibility for every single thing every single client did, all right? So just remember, you have no control over what somebody else does. Once you get rid of that illusion of control, it can start helping. Now, the reason why that sounds harsh is because some people who are watching this video are going to say, oh, well, does that mean I just shouldn't care? It shouldn't matter? No, that's not what I said. Everything, everything is about balance, right? But we can't focus on the actual solution until you get it out of your brain that your captain save a person, all right? That you're going to run around with your little cape and say, I'm going to save this suicidal person. Like this isn't the movies. OK, it's not a show on Netflix. You are not saving anybody. OK, so you can help get them on the right path. And that's the best thing that you can do. OK, so I'm not telling you don't care. I'm not telling you ignore these suicidal threats, but you need to focus on what the best options are. OK, a huge issue throughout this show is enabling. OK, so looking at Beck's relationship with Peach and going to run and try to save Peach every time Pete's throwing suicide and everything like that, like this is the form of enabling. That's enabling that behavior. OK, now, because they wanted to keep it secret, this is something I see, like I see it in shows and it's so disheartening that this is something that actually happens like you guys. That's why I make these videos. This stuff actually happens like Beck in that scene where they show up at Peach's house. She talks about to Joe like, oh, we can't tell anybody. We can't tell anybody. Her family will think this. Her family will think that. It's like what what again? You are not the person to save people, right? But this is also something that we see when Claudia is detoxing in that basement, right? So let's let's talk about this. Like this is why Tristan and I always talk about everybody needs a healthy, a healthy type of anxiety, right? Like what if what if after throwing all that stuff up and let's say Peach did take some stuff, what if Peach ended up dying in that bed right next to Beck, right? What if Claudia while detoxing in that basement even though Karen was a nurse, what if Claudia died in that basement? You want to live with that? I sure as hell don't. You know what I'm saying? Like we need to quit doing this thing where we're going to keep secrets. Like here's the way I deal with this. Like when people like tell me to keep secrets or whatever, I ask myself, if this person dies, am I going to be able to live with that on my conscience? Right? So here's the thing. Like they didn't show it in this. I don't know if it's different in the book, but if this was a real story, I guarantee you, I guarantee you Beck would have so much regret in her life and it would take her years of therapy, okay? To get rid of the idea that maybe, maybe Peach would be alive if she actually got Peach's professional help, all right? Like think about that for a second. Like imagine your Beck and your friend who you kept her suicidal behaviors a secret and then she, you know, quote unquote commit suicide for those of you who haven't seen, but I gave you a spoiler warning, so calm down. But Beck thinking that Peach did commit suicide, any actual person would sit there staying up at night hating themselves, wondering what could I have done more? What could I have done differently? And one of the first thoughts in her head was, maybe I should have told her family, maybe I should have called 911, maybe I should have got a professional help, right? Same thing with Claudia in that basement. Like you gotta quit covering up for people who are sick, okay? You are not a licensed professional. And even in the case of Karen helping Claudia, Karen is not the person to help, right? For example, when I was getting clean and sober, my mom, even though she has a PhD in psychology and was the clinical director at a rehab center, she was not the person to help me. We're too close, okay? That is not how this thing works. So a real quick story. My best friend who I grew up with, he has been sober for over three years now. And he used to call me up drunk, suicidal and all of that. And the one thing he would always tell me is don't tell my parents. Don't tell my parents. Cause his family was like my family. He's like, don't tell my parents. And what happened? This is the first time I thought it. But one night when he was drunk and suicidal, I sat there thinking and said, if this dude goes out and kills himself, am I gonna be able to live with myself knowing that I didn't tell his parents, which might have saved his life. So I had to weigh the options. I had to weigh it, okay? On one hand, I tell his parents and my best friend in the world hates me, hates me for that, right? But on the other hand, I tell his parents and maybe it saves his life. Now, when I look at it like that, when I look at this thing very life and death, black and white, the decision was simple. So I called up his mom, who's like a second mom to me. It broke her heart and she was crying. But guess what? We got my buddy into rehab. He's been sober over three years now and lives an amazing life because I made that hard decision and didn't care if this fool got pissed off at me because I was trying to save his life, all right? So I want you guys to remember that. Like, again, I'm not saying don't be there for your friends who are struggling with depression, who are suicidal, but too many people out there are suffering far too much because people like you and me think that we're gonna save them rather than getting them professional help, rather than talking to their parents about it or their family about it. Now there is a right way to do this so don't just like go run off and be like, hey, Sally is suicidal. Like don't do that. But I just wanted to kind of set in the groundwork. Like if you need to, like what I would recommend is like, if you have a therapist, talk to your therapist, talk to a mental health professional, hell, call the suicide hotline and be like, yo, like I have a friend who's doing this. What do you think I should do? Like they're 24 seven, call them, ask them what youth they think you should do to help your friend. The best thing you could do to help your friend is to guide them to a place that will help them, okay? Like it's almost like addiction. Like do not do anything that will enable them to keep doing this thing, but do everything in your power to help them get the help that they need, right? So even though I can't save you, I will go with you to a therapist. I will go with you to a doctor. I will go with you to an ER. You know what I'm saying? Like part of what they were afraid of was Pete's was like, oh no, they're gonna put me on a 72 hour hold. I don't give a, I'm trying to keep this PG, but I don't care. Like yeah, you need to be on a 72 hour hold if you're threatening suicide. You know what I mean? But anyways, anyways, I hope this video helps you out and understands what you need to do if you have somebody A, in your life who is threatening suicide or B, who is trying to keep you as an emotional hostage by threatening suicide. Real quick, because I didn't cover this in this video, if somebody is continually doing this with you, you need to go get therapy. You need to get some help. You need to learn how to set up these boundaries, okay? All right, but anyways, that's all I got for this video. I have a bunch of more you from Netflix review videos coming up, breaking down characters and all that. But if you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up. If you're new, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell because I make a ton of videos. And a huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on Patreon. You are all amazing. And don't forget, please go follow me on Instagram at the Rewired Soul, it's real easy. All right, thanks again for watching. I'll see you next time.