 The first two Course in Miracles students on planet earth, does anybody know their names? Bill and Helen were the first two Course in Miracles students. There wasn't a Course in Miracles book, they were just taking it down and Jesus actually they were just taking it down. They were like, this is cool, we're scribing, we're scribing and Jesus actually had to say to him at one point, study the notes. See how even the resistance of the first two, they don't even have the book yet and they're afraid to read it. And Jesus has to tell them, study the notes. See how even the resistance of the first two, they don't even have the book yet and they're afraid to read it. And Jesus has to tell them, study the notes. Well, Bill was a professor, Helen was a professor and the interesting thing about Bill was, for people who knew Bill, like Carol Howe and Helen and Ken and so on and so forth, that Bill was a professor afraid of professing. Isn't that a conundrum? A professor afraid of professing. So he had something going on, there was a block going on. That was part of his creative flow was to be teaching. I mean he worked with Carl Rogers, he had some of the most wonderful people and teachers in his life and he was brilliant and he had all these things, but he was a professor afraid of professing and Jesus worked with him. Some of you might have read Absence from Felicity, some of this stuff is in there. Jesus worked with him on this professor afraid of professing and Jesus would say, well that's why you put yourself in an administrative function. You see he got himself out of the classroom, he was so afraid of professing that he was like the head of the department just in administrative functions, not really working with students or professing at all because he was so afraid of professing. And Jesus said this thing to him, he said, well the reason you're a professor afraid of professing is that you believe that to teach or to profess weakens you. That's the belief that's going on underneath. An interesting block, you know, talk about way off the surface is the belief that you believe it's weakening you by teaching you are weakening yourself. And of course it was an egoic belief because what Jesus is teaching us in the Course is ideas are strengthened as they are given away by sharing. They're actually strengthened but the ego is to flip side of the spirit and it's saying, no, if you express you will be weakened. It's a strange unconscious belief but it's orbiting down there and it changed the way he lived his life. And he had to really come out of that because he started to really get into the Course and practice it and be guided to go to Course groups in the later part of his life and actually extend. He really had to extend the gift to keep it in awareness. So it can be the same with the book or with the music or whatever. It's a process of clearing away these deeper beliefs and unworthiness and Helena went through that whole experience and it just takes as long as it takes because it's got to be a thorough wash. That's the thing where the mind can grow impatient and think, what is it? What is it? There is some specific block and it's really not a block in form. It always has to do with a sense of unworthiness. For example, we'll use Helen who is the first two Course and Miracles students. Helen from a previous lifetime had developed an enormous talent for a skill for scribing, from scribing words from the Spirit and putting them down on paper. And Jesus told her that she had misused this scribal ability in a previous lifetime for the ego. She had tremendous guilt over this misuse of this scribal ability. Therefore, when Jesus was going to use her in this lifetime from 1965 to 1972, she was so nervous and so much anxiety and so much guilt around it. It was all coming from this past remembrance, ancient remembrance of misusing the scribal ability in a previous lifetime. Of course, Jesus was working with her to let go of time and space, to take her closer into the Atonement to see that the separation never happened, the misuse of the scribal ability never happened. He was diving in with her to come to that awareness of pure innocence, which is a priori. It's prior to the senses. It's prior to time and space. It's the I am presence that's what who we are truly innocent. So that just shows you how how deep it goes. It goes way into the mind and it can get frustrating when you look for like a certain block in form. Some people feel like, well, I've got a fear of whatever, public speaking, so I'll go to Toastmasters and I'll get that corrected. And sometimes it does work. They're very willing for that shift of mind and it does work very well, but it's more of always a sense of unworthiness that we're unworthy of the love, unworthy of the creativity to flow through us and as us. That's where the block always is. So to just be patient with it and when the book comes out, you rejoice and go, yay, did it. And when the songs, you know, you sing and you sing and you sing, you know, Helen was singing in many choirs and there was lots of singing and expressing and singing and singing and then it was just, you know, beautifully orchestrated with Bahani. It was a great collaborative effort, you know, with our friend Ken Kelly, collaborative efforts and just getting more and more comfortable and relaxed and feeling the clearing away of the unworthiness and then, you know, then it just pours through.