 Craft presents The Great Gilder Sleeve! This cheese company will also bring you Bengt Crosby every Thursday night. Present each week at this time Harold Perrie as The Great Gilder Sleeve. Written by Jon Whedon and Sam Moore. Craft The Great Gilder Sleeve in just a moment. First, a few homemakers listening in are on the lookout for foods that are low in Red Ration Point cost, and yet high in food value. Let me suggest Parquet, the delicious, nourishing margarine made by Craft. For Parquet costs costs just five rederation points per pound. It's one of the very best energy foods you can serve and of course Parquet is an excellent year-round source of vitamin A. It's mighty important too that Parquet Margarine has a delicate appetizing flavor that'll perk up family appetites in many ways. Yes, Parquet is a wonderfully good tasting spread for bread and toast and piping hot rolls and to find seasoning for hot cooked vegetables. What's more it's a real flavor shortening for your home baking and it's grand for pan-frying too. So for outstanding flavor for good nutrition and for point value and cash economy ask your dealer tomorrow for Parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet Margarine made by Kraft, just five rederation points per pound. May is when Summerfield really comes into bloom but while others take their ease, Summerfield's fighting water commissioner girds himself for a Saturday morning of busy accomplishment at the office. Gotta be going, gotta be going, let's see. Briefcase, I've got it, handkerchief in my pocket, hat on my head. Goodbye, Birdie. Bye, Miss Gilsley. One side there, Leroy. So long, long. Don't let anybody put anything over on you. When did anybody ever put anything over on me? Are you kidding? Yes. Oh, Miss Gilsley. Yes, Birdie. Are you gonna be home for lunch today? No, Birdie. I'm afraid not. Busy day ahead. Will that upset your plans? Oh, no, so that means we can have a 16-point dinner. Yeah. Well, uh, Leroy, you know something? What, Aunt? I do believe this grass is getting long enough to mow. Oh, now what? Get the jump on it, my boy. It's the only way. Never let it get ahead of you. Gosh, you're level of stunted growth if you cut it now. Yes. Just once over lightly with a lawn mower, Leroy. It won't do the grass a bit of harm. It'll do you a lot of good. I'd mow it myself if I weren't so busy. Yeah. Don't stick in your short tail. You look disgusting. Trockmorton, you're not leaving. Yes, I was. I was just on my way to the office, Leroy. Busy day. But what about your promise? Your promise? You were gonna go over the list of wedding invitations with me, who we were gonna send them to and all. Oh, so I was. Well, I'll tell you what, Leroy. You just decide. Anything you decide is all right with me. But aren't you interested in who comes to our wedding, Trockmorton? Well, of course, Leroy. I'm very interested. It's just that I've got a lot of important things to do down at the office. Does anything more important than our wedding? Watch it, Uncle. It's a booby trap. I think we can dispense with your presence now. Yes, run along, Leroy, and play with some of your little friends. What a character. Now, come and sit down on the porch with me, Trockmorton. It won't take long. Yes, but, Leroy... You've been putting it off and putting it off, but we've just got to tend to it now. We've got to order the invitations and engraving takes time. Sit down beside me. I don't know anything about these things, Leroy. Well, I've made up a sort of a tentative list here. Now, first, there's my great-aunt Elizabeth. Oh, before I forget it, put down the McGee's. Fibber and Molly, I'm gonna be sure to have them. Well, let's discuss that later. We can't just invite everybody, you know. It's a small shirt. Well, Fibber McGee is a small man. Well, we'll get to them. But my great-aunt Elizabeth, we've got to invite her because when Beauregard and I were married, she sent us a chafing dish. We can't use more than one chafing dish. Oh, silly. And there's George William Hungerford. He's a sort of a cousin of Beauregard. You know, it was the most awful thing. Beauregard and I never thought to invite George William, and he sent us a dozen high-end painted service plates with pheasants on them. I know Beauregard would never forgive me if I didn't invite him this time. Well, we want Beauregard to rest easy, send George William a pass. Well, then there's Aunt Ellen, Uncle Chase, and I thought I'd kind of like to invite poor little old Darwin, sure. Well, aren't you going to ask me about Darwin? What about Darwin? Well, poor Darwin. He was terribly in love with me at the time I got engaged to Beauregard. There was a sort of a misunderstanding, and somehow he got the idea that I was engaged to him. Oh, it was terribly embarrassing. He threatened to shoot himself if I married anybody else, but he didn't. He's in real estate. And still hasn't shot himself? Oh, no, he's doing real well, they tell me, but he's never married. I thought it would be nice if we invited him. Oh, yeah, invite him and tell him to bring his six-shooter, Leela. And then, of course, we got to invite Beauregard's mother. Listen, Beauregard had his wedding. What about my friends, Leela? I have a few friends, you know. Well, that's why I wanted you to go over the list with me. Now, who would you like to invite? Well, that's Pippa McGee and Molly. Yes, you mentioned them. Who else? The McGee's live next door to me, you know, on Wistful Vista. Yes, yes, I know. Who else, Rock Martin? McGee, McGee. Well, there's the McGee's. I can't give you the whole list now, Leela. Look, it's late. I've got to get down to the office, but I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll go over the whole thing with you this afternoon. Well, do you promise? Promise. Cross your heart? Cross my heart. I do it right now, uh, Rock Martin? Yes, Leela? Aren't you forgetting something? Uh, my briefcase. Oh, no. Not your briefcase. No, what then? Well, I never had to remind Beauregard when he went off to the office. Uh-oh. Goodbye, honey. That's better. Beauregard. Let's see now. Hardly know where to begin here. Oh, here's a letter. Dear Mr. Gillesleve, it has recently come to our attention that you're about to embark upon the happy venture of Matrimony. Allow us to be the first to congratulate you on this important step in life. Well, have to send them an invitation. As a man of foresight, we know that you will want to look to the future, and when the time comes that we may supply you, what is this? Faithfully yours, Summerfield Diety Service. Oh. What else have we got here? Uh, here's another one. Dear Mr. Gillesleve, you call yourself a water commissioner? Oh, my goodness. All right, Gildy. We're closing up here now. Come on. Oh, hello, George. Dr. Pettibone, how are you, Doc? Get your hat, Gillesleve. You're coming with us. What do you mean? Have you forgotten what day this is? No, it's Saturday. Well, it's also opening day at the club. Bye, George. So it is, Horace. Opening day. Come on, we got our golf clubs in the car. We'll stop the house, pick up yours, parcel me this out of the club. Oh, gee, I'd like to follow us, but I can't. Not today. What do you mean you can't? Sure, they can't open the golf season without us. The old foursome, you know that. I know, fellas, but you better just go along without me. Oh, nonsense. You want to get out in that old course and get some fresh air. Doctor's orders, Gildy. Gosh, I'd like to, but I can't. I've got important things to do. What have you got to do that's so important? Well, things. Besides, I promised. Promised who? Leela. Uh-oh. I promised her I'd help her with a list of invitations for the wedding. Gildy, sleep. Don't tell me she's got you tied to her apron strings already. I guess we know who's going to wear the slacks in that family. No, see here, Hooker. Alas, poor Gildy's sleep. I knew him well. Another good man gone wrong. Well, come on, Judge. I guess we'll just have to find somebody else. I'm sorry, Gildy old man. We're going to miss you out there. Lovely day, too. Gee, I'd like to, fellas. You know that dog-leg hole you always had trouble with? Well, they straightened it out now. They say you can drive the green in one, if you're lucky. I think we mentioned it in past. Don't urge him, Doc. Don't urge him. Maybe Gildy's doing the wise thing. After all, he's getting on in years. Who is? Perhaps he knows best. If he's reached the time of life when he feels he ought to settle down and just spend his declining years puttering around the house, I think we should let him. Listen, you old goat. I'll give you two strokes a hole and beat the pants off you. Well, come on, then. What are we waiting for? Up to the 18th green. Pretty close match, I'd say. If it hadn't been for Gildersleeve's hole in one, we'd have beat you long ago. Lucky stiff. Don't call it luck, Judgey. I was just trying to make a hole in one, you know. Would you mind not laughing when I'm about to putt Gildersleeve? Sorry, Powers. You're right ahead. Thank you. That's a beauty, partner. You're surely down in five. Never mind the gap, Judge. Go ahead and shoot. I'll shoot all right. This is a very difficult putt. Nothing to it, Judgey. Just relax. That's the secret. Gildersleeve, if you don't behave, I won't fit your hole in one in the paper. All right, Powers. You can't take a little joke. If you judge... Good shot, Hooker. You're sure of a five yourself. Go ahead, Pennybones. Thank you. Say, it almost went in. Conceit your five, Doc. Thanks. Looks like we'll have to place an extra hole. Not if I sink my putt, Judge. If I sink this, we win. Now, don't be silly. That's an 18-footer. If I can sink him from 120 yards, I can sink him from 18 feet. Every shot, a little gem, fellas. Stand back, everybody. Quiet. Nobody's making a sound. I want it quiet, anyway. Now, watch this. Gildersleeve, don't get fancy. This is no time to try a one-handed putt. Oh, that's one of my specialties, Doc. Look. Every shot, a little gem. Yeah. They are all hot showers. That's the best part of the game. I'll be your part. Oh, my God. Forget it, fellas. Come on, let's sing. Yeah. We were sailing. Get the drinks ready. I'll give Mr. Gildersleeve the chance. Yes, sir. Well, fellas, here comes the old coal finish. Hang on to your hat now, boys. Give me a towel, somebody. Gildersleeve, I can see your foot on a little weight. And once more, I can see where you put it. Well, you're my doctor, Pettibone. If I'm overweight, it's your fault. Oh, nonsense. All you need is a little more exercise. That's easier said than done, Pettibone. His lady friend doesn't like to let him go out afternoons, you know. That's not true. My time is absolutely my own. Well, I was going to ask you, could you play in our poker game tonight? Oh, no. He's got to spend the evening choosing his wedding guests. Oh, is that so? Maybe that's his idea for good time. Now, Throckmorton, should we invite Andy Grace and Uncle Henry? Whatever you say, dear. No, I'll cut it out, Pettibone. The wedding just won't be a wedding unless we invite Cousin Percival. Cooker, I'm warning you. Well, I can't stay in Cousin Percival. Powers would you care to step outside? I can't, your darn fool. I haven't got any clothes on. Oh, I'll then cancel my subscription to your newspaper today. Would you want to read about your whole old one? Cancel it tomorrow. Now, boys, where are those clothes? Gentlemen, I'm at your service. And I'll show you that in poker isn't golf. Lady Luck sits on the shoulder of the best player. Aw, for the love of... He's just jealous, that's her house. Baccaro? Yes, ma'am. Do you, Miss Guilford? Oh, uh, thank you, Eddie. Some gentleman calling me. Gentlemen, no, sir, no indeedy. Step up and tell her you're going to play poker tonight, Guilford. Let's hear you put her in her place, Throckmorton. Remember, Guilda Slave, never ask a woman. Tell her. Yeah, I know, I'll tell her. Hello? Yes, I decided I'd play a little get... The doctor said I needed some exercise. Follow us, please, please. But, Leela, I didn't understand it was definite for this afternoon. But I thought if I... But I thought if I... But I thought if I... This program comes to you by electrical transcription. But, Leela... Tell her about the poker. Oh, Leela, there's a door cut out of our powers. What was that, Leela? Oh, Leela, don't say that. Don't cry, Leela. I've got good news for you. Yeah, I made a hole in one. Follow us. But, please, follow us. But, Leela! Oh, shut up! Shut up! Not you, Leela. Leela, look what you did. My girl hung up on me. To buy parquet. For just five red ration points a pound, you buy a grand tasting spread for bread that's equally fine for many other uses. You'll find it an appetizing seasoning for hot vegetables, a real flavor shortening for baking, and it's just about perfect for pan frying. Now, if it happens that your dealer doesn't have parquet margarine the first time you ask for it, it's because of wartime shortages and parquet's growing popularity. But craft is doing everything possible to keep dealers supplied. So ask for the vitamin A fortified energy food, parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y, parquet margarine made by craft. Now returning to the great Gilder Sleeve, we find him glumly finishing up his supper with Leeroy while Marjorie, dressed to go out, sits waiting impatiently for her boyfriend, Van. Mr. Gilder Sleeve, I hate to see you peck at your food like this. I ain't seen you eat such a light supper since the day you took Leeroy to the circus. Well, I can't help it, Bertie. Marjorie, don't you want something to eat? A little celery? No, thank you. I'm mad now, and I'll just wait for Ben if I starve to death. Where are you going, anyhow? We were supposed to go to Bishop's chop house for dinner, but we're so late now we'll never get a table. So we'll stand there for an hour, and by that time the meat will be gone, and by the time we finish our chicken all our king will be too late for the first show at the majestic, so we'll stand in line there for an hour. The guy's probably run out of gas again. I wouldn't be at all surprised. You men always stand up for each other. I know Ben's a nice boy, but I don't think you ought to mope over him. No, Fair One, do not pine for Benjamin. For goodness sake. There is another who could love thee truly till death do us part. Kiss me. Oh, stop it, Leeroy. Let me take you in my arms. Let me pose you to my bosom. Let me... Leeroy, stop that dribble. Oh, gee, I was just trying to cheer things up a little. You and Marjorie so love sick, it's terrible. I am not a bus driver. Mr. Gilsley, could I interest you in a little dessert? It's chocolate pudding with vitamins B, D and G. Chocolate pudding? Birdie, we've been having chocolate pudding all the time lately. Well, Mr. Gilsley, we ain't had chocolate pudding since we could go Tuesday. And I believe that was raspberry. Give both helpings to Leeroy, Birdie. I'm not myself this evening. Not by a playful. I'll go, Mr. Gilsley. Well, there he is. Forty-five minutes late. Good evening, Mr. Ben. Oh, good evening, Birdie. Hello, Marjorie. Gilsley. Hello, Ben. Leeroy. Oh, Ben. Well, good evening. Ben, you didn't by any chance run out of gas, did you? Yeah, I did. Bingo! Leeroy. Yeah, but that wasn't the reason I... Ben, Waterford, you make me so mad, I could spit. But, gosh... Here we are an hour late, and we'll miss dinner, and we'll miss the show. But, Marjorie... Now you can wait for me for a change. I'm going upstairs and change my dress. Ben, my boy, they're all alike. Well, Mr. Gilsley, if all the women act like that, all the men must be crazy. They are. He's a pain in the neck. Well, that too. Suppose Marge is ever coming down? Oh, yes, my boy. Just wants you to worry a little. Well, I am. When she comes down, there's just one thing to remember, Ben. Never ask a woman. Tell her. Tell her? That's the secret. That sounds like one of those good theories, but you don't know if she'll fly to get her in the wind tunnel. Huh? Oh. Yeah. Well, you take an example now, Ben. Take the case of a certain party I know. We'll call him Mr. A. He played golf recently when his fiance expected him to spend the afternoon at her house. Oh, she saw her? Oh, brother. Well, Ben, have you got enough gas to get us downtown? Well, sure. I had a gal in the back seat, but that wasn't what made me late. It wasn't. No, I was... fixing up this little kind of a present for you. I hope you are here. Oh, Ben, why didn't you tell me? Oh, I'm so embarrassed. Gosh, what about me? I just can't wait to look at it. Have you got a knife? I left it at my other pants. New suit. Here is my cigar cutter. No good for cigars, but fine for strength here. I made them myself. Made them out of piston rings. I pushed them on the lathe down at the shop. I thought they were handcuffs, my boy. Oh, sweet. Thanks. What else, shall we get started? Yes. If you forgive me. Forgive you? Oh, gosh. Well, good night, Uncle Morton. Good night, my dear. Good night, my boy. Oh, Ben. Yeah? I think you solved the problem of Mr. A. Yeah. I thought I'd be seeing you today. Say, Peavey, you've got to help me out. Well, that's what we drugists are in business for. Peavey, have you ever been in a spot where you had to think fast how to please a woman? Obviously, I've never been out of it. Well, I'm in that spot right now, Peavey. I got into a little trouble this afternoon, sort of fell among thieves, and now I've got to go over and face her. I thought maybe if I brought her a little gift of some kind, you know, kind of dazzle her and take her mind off things. Very difficult to do, very. Yeah? It is, huh? You don't think she'd accept a gift? Well, I wouldn't say that. She'll accept your gift all right, but then she'll get right back to the point. Oh, oh, I see. Unless you happen to hit upon some particular weakness. Weakness? How do you find that? Well, the only way I know is trial and error. Now, in my own case, I was fortunate. I discovered Mrs. Peavey's weakness early. What is her weakness? Maybe you'd give me a clue. I remember it was Atlantic City on our honeymoon. We were staying at the breakers. Mrs. Peavey came into a small sum of money just before we were married, so we stayed there overnight. Oh, go on, Peavey. Quite an establishment, the breakers. Quite an establishment. I remember John Philip Sousa was opening at the Steel Pier that same weekend. You've told me about that, Peavey. Get to the point, will you? What was it you discovered about Mrs. Peavey? Well, you know, it's a funny thing. That woman has a positive menu for Saltwater Taffy. Yes. Taffy? Saltwater Taffy. I bought her a two-pound box there on the boardwalk, and I never heard another word out of her the whole trip. Of course, Saltwater Taffy is pretty sticky stuff. Peavey, you've just given me an idea. What's that? Have you got any Saltwater Taffy? No, Mr. Gilgastly, I haven't. I'm sorry. Then what's the use of telling me all this? Peavey, you can waste more time than any living mortal I know. Well, I couldn't say that. I haven't any Saltwater Taffy, but I'll tell you what I have got. Yeah? What? Some nice assorted chocolates. They're hard to get these days. Just the thing. Wrap it up, Peavey. I have them already wrapped. It saves time. That'll be in $1.63. Okay, here. Oh, Mr. Gilgastly, there's just one thing. Perhaps I should have thought of it before. Yeah? What was that? The selection of chocolates you have there contains rather a large proportion of chewy pieces. Well, that's all right. What about it? Merely a precaution. You don't mind if I ask rather a personal question? Go ahead, Peavey. You're a drugist. About the lady in question. Are her teeth, shall we say, her own? I've never asked her, Peavey, but I have every reason to believe that they are. Good day. Good day, Mr. Gilgastly. We could hear the voices singing. They seem to sing. You have stolen my... Don't go away. Mr. Gilgastly, will you kindly take your foot out of my dog? Leela, let me explain. You didn't give me a chance this afternoon. I came out... I have heard all the explanation I care to, Throckmorton. I am not interested in any explanations that come from locker rooms. Leela, I've been a foolish boy, and I'm sorry. I've come to ask your forgiveness. There are some things a woman just can't forgive, Throckmorton. And one of them is when a person says he'll go over an invitation list with her, and then he doesn't. But, Leela, wait a minute. Look, I brought you a present. Present? Uh-huh. All for you. Well, you can come in, but only for a minute. Yeah. Leela, you're an angel. You know, sometimes I think I don't know how lucky I am. Sometimes I don't think you do either, Throckmorton. Here, from me to you, with love. Well, maybe I have been too hard on you. Sure, a man can make mistakes. Go ahead and open it. After all, we're all human. You wouldn't love me if I weren't human, would you, Leela? No, I guess not, Throckmorton. Gracious, I'm so excited. I wonder what's in it. Oh, I'll tell you. It's candy. Candy? Oh, it's so long since I've had any. Throckmorton, you're a... Leela, what is it? Mr. Gildersley, you may take your candy and go elsewhere with it. Huh? Here. What's this? What if your care worn and wrinkled, what if your hairs turn to gray? To me, you'll always be mother, the dear one we honor today. Oh, Pee-Vee! Lots of noise. Deal me in. Gildersley! Well, I'll feed you off. You're surprised to see me, huh, fellas? I told you I'd be here. Deal me in. I never thought you'd make it. How'd you get away? No problem at all. I simply said, Leela, I promised the boys I'd play poker tonight, and I always keep my promises. All right, dear. Just whatever you think best. Good night, everybody. Music on this program was under the direction of Claude Sleek, and this is Ken Carpenter speaking for The Craft Cheese Company, inviting you to listen again next week for the further adventures of The Great Gildersley. With the main dish problem, many women are these days. There's not only the money budget to consider, but also a ration stamp budget that can't be replenished with all the money in town. Well, here's one smart purchase that's easy on both budgets. It's craft dinner, the product that gives you delicious macaroni and cheese in just seven minutes' cooking time. Yes, with craft dinner, you get a nourishing main dish for poor people, an economical main dish in a hurry, and the family will like craft dinner macaroni and cheese. The macaroni is so fluffy light, and the cheese flavor is all through it. You see, each package of craft dinner contains an envelope of craft grated, along with the special quick-cooking macaroni. You cook the macaroni just seven minutes in boiling water. With the craft grated, you simply sprinkle the cheese goodness through and through the macaroni in a jiffy. Your main dish is ready. A main dish you can repeat time and time again. And here's an exciting part of the news I've been holding back. Craft dinner takes only one red ration point. Ask your food dealer for craft dinner. This is the National Broadcasting Company.