 He's handsome yet. He's dead His eyes are twin infinite dark tunnels Tunnels leading to the netherworld of his void his emptiness the howling winds in the corridors That lead to nothing but a whole of mirrors reflection upon reflection upon reflection And you in their Reflection as well and the twinkle in his irises That is also a reflection a reflection of your tears and his smile ruptures his face Tears your heart apart and you are reduced to smithereens frozen Grimaced scream in a surrealistic nightmare That once Used to be a dream as you recall ever so vaguely He is an absence He is chaos He is unadulterated anguish He is your shattered fantasy He is your shattered life He craves love He craves intimacy Also, he says But then he pushes you away Enraged by your presumptuousness in offering him both and He fears hurt He dreads pain and rejection and abandonment and so he hurts you first He Bosks in your agony and in your writhing writhing writhing He preemptively rejects and abandons you renders you transparent ethereal Less and less less and less real by the minute And you dissolve and you dissolve in his destructed faraway gaze as he contemplates your insignificance and your heart is broken and your mind is splintered You shrivel Like a plant as you inhale the toxic fumes of his non-being His despondent and hopeless darkness a miasmic emanation a life rejected a night without dawn in his sunless Arctic days in his cancer Circle of cancer And so frozen frozen to your bones To your marrow to your essence You shiver involuntarily and uncontrollably His tremors his earthquake in you the aftershocks And the relationship with him you know you know it well Is a form of self harm Self-mutilation and yet and yet you cannot let go He is deaf He is demise by a thousand invisible paper cuts and You are become eruptive Infuriated scar tissue You are a wound Where a person used to exist sometimes and That's the reason that you're staying Sometimes he is an ephemeral little child peering lacrimose From behind the wall of torment that passes for his soul one eye One eye behind the corner The corner of your relationship Sometimes Sometimes beautiful times precious times He is all hugs all tender need Cuddling and tucking in and cheeks and laughs and the good times and the good times of Apparent love and you fall for it. You want it so badly He wants it so badly So you both acquiesce And you both cooperate and you both collaborate and you both collude in this conspiracy And it's not a theory and then it's gone This moment Receives remits reverts relapses It's a shape-shifting and pregnant cloud behind the event horizon of his devouring black hole and he is Penumbral He is flitting. He's an apparition a Remembrance of things past the crumbling sepia dust of what could have been The promise unkept unkempt It's an eerie disembodied dismembered dance the music wafting your former selves entwined And on and on you go as the night wears thin and the day Refuses to embark