 Pleasant day to everyone. Welcome to our seventh episode of Koutura Scenic Atibapa. For today's episode, we are going to tackle the topic of contemporary Philippine poetry. And we have for this episode three guests. All of them are professors of poetry and literature and creative writing in their own respective universities. And I will ask each of them to introduce themselves right now. We begin with the person to my right most. I'm Carlo Mardovana. I'm a faculty member at that university. Yes, and? Ned Parfan. I'm teaching at the University of Santo Tomas. And to my left? I'm Ronald Baitan. I teach literature and queer studies at the La Salle University. Yes. Okay, so three very qualified, very eminent poets and also professors of literature and creative writing and cultural studies in their own schools. And we begin I suppose by asking them the question that we always ask our guests who are artists for this show. I would like them to each describe very briefly their journey into this art form. How did you come to poetry? Or did poetry come to you? Good afternoon everyone. My initial brush with poetry was actually when I was 12 years old. And I saw a manuscript actually of poems. And one of the poems there was by Rolando Harbunel, beyond forgetting. And for a 12 year old that was something it felt like, wow, this was great. The language was fantastic. Who still think that way now? I changed my idea of that poem. But it was my, I would like to say like my introduction to some like versification or poetic language. But so I said to myself I could perhaps write a couple of poems. So I wrote about Jesus Christ. That was my first poem. And then from then on I just wrote and wrote mostly love poems. And when I entered the University of Santo Tomas I wanted to broaden my appreciation for the written word. So I took up literature. And I was fortunate enough that during that time Ophelia Alcantara de Malanta was the dean of the Faculty of Arts and Methods. And he was also a poet. And that was something new to me. An academician who was also a respected poet. So I would like to say that my real, my beginning instruction to the art work was really at you as the true mom Ophelia. So mentorship played a crucial role in your decision to make this a serious thing for you? Definitely. It was the door that opened to me. From someone who graduated from public high school who didn't know what the sonnet is from Sistina. That was an eye-opening encounter for me. Yes. Okay. So thank you, Karlimar. That's probably part of what our other guests might want to consider when they talk about their journey. The role of mentorship and formal training, right? And solidifying that intuition that this is something you want to do, right? So maybe move now to Ned. Okay. Good afternoon. I started writing poetry as a class exercise actually. It was my English teacher who basically forced me to write poetry because it was going to be graded. And then from then on I just, you know, I kept on writing with my father's typewriter. He's a CPA. So he also had the seal. So I would type the poems and then I would put the seal to make it official and it had a letterhead and everything. So yeah. And then I first got published in high school. Who was the audience of your earliest poems? My parents. And yeah. So high school, it was the school paper. And then same thing with Karlimar at UST. I really seriously considered writing poetry for like for the rest of my life when I was in college with the Thumashian Writers Guild under the mentorship of Dr. Dimalanta. Okay. It's a history that we share, the three of us in common because I'm also from UST and she was also my mentor and we founded the two of us founded the Thumashian Writers Guild which has produced so many poets. And we'll talk about that why poets and not other kinds of writers. Why is poetry such an attractive field for many young writers in UST? Okay. Now to my left. I started writing in high school but I was more interested in fiction until I went to college and I watched or saw the film Dead Poet Society. I think that pretty much you know. Sealed the deal. Yes. And fortunately I joined the contest, the literary contest at the Sal for poetry and fiction I think I lost. And Dr. Ivasco and Dr. Bobis, Professor Bobis, organized a workshop for young writers. So I joined that. It was my first workshop and I think after that you know I became a literature major and I learned so much more from Dr. Ivasco and Dr. Cedro Bautista and that started everything I suppose. She just passed away. Yes. So thank you for all your stories about your journey into the art form. My own journey into poetry is very similar. I did receive formal training also in college but I started writing poems much earlier. My first poem I wrote when I was eight or nine years old. It was a poem I wrote for a friend, a girl, whose family transferred neighborhoods and so I missed her terribly and I wrote my first poem for her. It was awful. It was a love poem of sorts. Also my earliest attempt at rhyming and all those wonderful things that you associate with poetry, especially if you're young. And yes, when I reached college and I encountered a real poet, namely Dr. Ophelia Alcantara di Malanta, I realized that this is something I wanted to do for the rest of my life. And of course it was wonderful that I was with a community also of other aspiring poets and many of us ended up writing poetry seriously and are still writing up to now. So I think crucial in the stories that we all shared is the role of training and mentorship, which I think it's very logical, right? Because in the society poetry is not really considered practical. It's not really considered profitable. It's not encouraged, I think, by the school system by and large. And it does make a difference when you have crucial people, figures like real poets who actually encourage you and egg you on to keep writing. So maybe that's the second question we can ask. I mean poetry is not practical. It cannot be monetized so easily. There are contests but they are few and far between. It's so hard to win them. So why keep doing it? What is the pleasure? What is the joy of poetry? Why do you want to keep doing it? For most in my case it was really about being able to inhabit language that for me was poetry and until today that's how I deal with poetry or that's how I embrace poetry. That it is an articulation of a different kind, a heightened speech, if you may. So that was an attraction to me. And why is that important for you? I felt it kind of saved me from my very forsaken life. That I had that kind of access to something that was expansive, that was so nourishing if I may say so. Something that was apart from the dailiness of living. So for me that kind of saved me in my youth. I had my books despite the fact that the roofs were leaking and all of that, the cats were catterwally on the roof but I had my poetry. So it was some kind of a, you know, like an oasis from that... An escape in a way? An escape from that life in Galascans City. That was my contact. Would you say, because you're also now an art critic, you go to art shows and exhibitions and galleries and you do reviews, right? Would you say that that sort of means to escape, to look for some kind of way out of the prosakeness of reality is a common experience for all artists, not just for poets? I would like to think that others, other poets or other artists may see their role as something really in tune to, you know, to some kind of service to society or like a personal calling. For my part it was really because... No service for you. No service. It was more like connected to something vaguely spiritual if I may say so. And perhaps my interest, and I would always say this, my interest in art writing or art criticism is actually fueled by my love for poetry because in art writing you need to describe, you need to... It's almost ecfrases in a way. Because you are rendering verbally an experience that is not verbal, like it's visual, it's using another set of vocabulary really, like space and texture and color. And color, the visual elements and all of that. And part of it was also looking into the creative process or the intuition of the artist as he made the work. And with all of that, and for me poetry gave me access to that through language. It's interesting because it's poetry that gave you some kind of tool with which to approach other art forms, right? Because you're saying that it's language. That's correct. And you render, you can now approach, you can penetrate the world of visual art with poetry as a kind of foundation. That was a purpose that poetry served. And in fact, like before writing about art, I was writing for magazines, journalistic stuff. And I would like to think that poetry kind of helped me negotiate those terrains more effortlessly had I perhaps not had it at the onset. Yes. All right. Now Ned, why do you keep doing this if it's not going to pay the rent? Because I came into it with knowing what pleasure it gives me, which is the ability to respond. Our guests are so profound to inhabit language, an ability to respond, okay? Can you elaborate? Like in elementary and high school, you have Sabayang Pagdikas and, you know, choral recitation. And then in church, you have, you know, the church hymns. And then, you know, usunong panhok kaya yung song hits. So parang kaya kori niya. So just, you know, being able to respond to that kind of language, like he said. So parang anga ngayon, adutuwa pa rin ako whenever I do it. Right. But would you recommend a day job for a poet? I mean, if you can't quite make a living out of writing poetry, how do you keep body and soul together? By teaching. By teaching. We'll get to that later, you know. But let's move now to our next guest. What is the attraction of poetry for you? And why do you keep doing it if it's not practical? Okay. Poetry is spiritual. Poetry is a kind of intense language. And you don't get that from other genres. Of course, the victims of hate me, right? But no, I think, you know, nothing can be more intense and more compact, right? And condensed than poetry, right? It's philosophical, it's spiritual, emotional. All these things are there. And that's a challenge. And I like that. When I'm in pain, when I'm broken-hearted, something like that, no? I turn to poetry. There's wisdom, no? And what's beautiful about poetry is the way these artists, these poets have expressed that nugget of wisdom. So memorably, right? And I want that, you know? So there's something aphoristic about good poetry. You can almost isolate these Hougott lines. They're not called Hougott lines, right? But they're not exactly Hougott. They're not Hougott because they're not cheap. Like these wonderful profound insights, you know, into the human condition, into living itself, into life itself, right? The profundity of language. It's profound. I mean, there's something profound in poetry. And that's what I like about it. Of course, you don't make money by writing poetry. Obviously not. You teach, right? I wonder how this episode will fare because it is on poetry and the audience for poetry is not very huge. I am the director of the UP Press and Arbo Dega is full of poetry books that have remained unsold over the last 10 years. Poetry poetry is important and I'm reminded of Dr. Tiempo, Ida Tiempo's sort of understanding that she communicated to my batch in the Silliman workshop. If you are trained as a poet, then all the other genres should come easy because all the other genres require the same skills that a poet will need to possess. And in poetry, all those skills are intensified and distilled into their purest form. So character, setting, plot, all these other elements of fiction are in poetry, except that in poetry everything is pure and pared down and elemental. And so I agree that basically poetry is sort of more intense and it's more profound because it's actually more condensed. I've tried to come up with a definition for poetry because there are so many definitions for poetry. There are poetries actually, maybe not just one poetry, but I think my most sort of capacious definition that might work to sort of contain the other definitions is it's an event in language in which something is transformed. I can't get any more general than that. It's an event in language in which something is transformed and that applies also for fiction, doesn't it? Except the event in fiction, the linguistic event is not probably as important, right? In poetry, it is language or nothing. There's nothing else, really, but language. A linguistic position. Yes, and you have a concession, you have all these other elements. Okay, so thank you so much for your thoughts on that. Maybe that will be sufficient in convincing those who want to be poets that this is worthwhile, despite the fact that it will not really pay the rent. But maybe I want to ask our guests now for their evaluation or their appraisal, their thoughts on the state of Philippine poetry now. What are your thoughts on the state of Philippine poetry? Do we have enough poets? Do we have enough readers? Are there enough venues, et cetera? All right, when I was just a beginning writer, there were the venues and the publications that you needed to get published. So there was the Philippines Free Press, or repeat that again, Philippines Free Press, Mirror Magazine Graphic, which is still very much around newspaper magazine Panorama. But now I would acknowledge the channels, like the online channels that are available now to the poets today. And that's something perhaps that's being explored and also independent publishing on the other hand. And international publishing? I know, Karlam, you've actually been editing Philippine poetry chat books for an international press, right? As well as, yes, international publications, like specifically countries that are close to us, like Singapore for instance, and Hong Kong for instance are. In the case of the project, Australia, so there seems to be also an interest in... So there's an expansion of the venues now and the possible publishers, right? I would like to think that. But do we have enough Filipino poetry readers, you think? I think... If you know where they are, tell me because I would want to market our books to them. I don't know. I think generally there are more poets than readers. And the best... That's so sad. Are you sure? I would like to say that the best readers would still be poets. So there... So maybe, yes, we do need probably an improvement in regard to the readership, right? I think there should... That's an area that could be further... But we can ask Ned that question regarding, well, the state of poetry in the Philippines in general, but also specifically readership because his first book with you could press sold out. So maybe he can give us a share with us his secret. Why is it that so many other poets aren't so lucky? But you are lucky because now you have a second printing for your first book and your second book is also selling well. What's your secret? Well, first your impression of poetry in the country. Oh, okay. My impressions. I don't know if we have enough poets or books or venues, but I don't think we have enough exposure. I think that's where we are lacking. I don't know how to remedy that. Do we need more book tours? Do we need more... Do we need to expose ourselves more to... This is one way of doing it. We have an episode devoted to poetry, but probably take the campaign online is one approach, right? But also exposure and thinking poets are by nature solitary and that's probably what people already understand about poets and so they really don't want to have much to do with poets, right? And also most poets are shy. So if you want exposure, if you're willing to expose yourself, you have to go out there. Yeah, I think book tours. I think it's really the publisher's call. I think publishers of poetry books should take the initiative to push the poetry titles better and harder and probably locate the markets because they are there. Think about our own stories. We were just normal people and then we loved poetry. There are many people like us, I would think, right? Young people are actually thirsting for poetry and they just need to be guided to where to find it, right? Now your secret, how come you sold so many books? I have friends. I have friends who have teachers and... Party laughter. So can you elaborate? Because we need the formula now. They teach literature or poetry or some related subjects and I ask them would you like to include my book in your syllabus? So there. Okay, so it's a good thing to learn that in fact and that will be a perfect segue to our question later on the day job that's ideal for poets. You're a teacher and because of that you have students and students are ready market to be tapped, right? For good books. Well, maybe it wouldn't sound you didn't sell your own books to your students but then you have friends who are also teachers and they were the ones who recommended the book to your students. So that's it, the network that being an academe gives you can actually be tapped now to look for the readers. Because our readers are actually ideally students I'm thinking, right? They are still ready to be found, they're in schools they're more or less all captive audiences, right? And so and it would be good to actually provide them quality reading including good poetry books and of course your poetry books are excellent actually. UP Press is the proud publisher of Ned's books. And that we go now to Ronald who also got published by UP Press. Sorry, we're plugging UP Press I can't be helped. What is your impression on the state of Philippine poetry now? I would like to approach it from different perspectives. First, readers there's so much that we can do with regard to the market. Why? Because the digital revolution has actually allowed more and more people to think with poetry. So many young folks think that they're going to be poets or that they're poets and we can do something about that. That's something we should affirm, right? Yeah, something we should affirm at the same time. It's something that we should address by pushing them further to real... I don't like the word real. It's as though what they're doing is not real. To more serious more artistic and more poetry. Because it's there. So many young folks writing, scribbling lines of poetry online and they're not exactly bad. Some of them may be... We should also argue for the idea that there's a continuity across pop songs, love songs, all these things and poetry. We should actually try to see the bigger picture and see poetry as this bigger picture then suddenly the audience is bigger. Yes, because if you go to Instagram and Twitter I've noticed that so many users actually tweet what they think is poetry or rather their poetic utterances. And I think that's good. You can workshop it later or you can just refine it. This is potential and that's what I like about it because this generation has so many options. When we were young we had to send our manuscript to free press and get rejected. But there's a downside to there being too many options too. Because how do you decide what is excellent now? Everyone becomes his own publisher. You can publish your own poetry now online. It's a... You can actually address it if the system now works via social media apps. What can you do? Why don't we actually promote poetry using these apps? I was looking at Paris Review and Poetry Foundation. There are as many subscribers or followers as all these hunky men. Just the porn sides. Let's just give up on the dream that we will ever be as competitive as porn. Poetry will always be a niche market. But still at least you get enough people who are really interested to hold their craft to come to you. And that's the promise of the digital revolution. I love Ronald's steak. It's so hopeful. Because the new technology really is probably the only way to go. And Neil, remember who are the best-selling poets of this decade? I don't know. They started out they all came from Instagram. They came from India. Okay, those popular ones. Rupee? Not Ocean Vuong. Now we are identifying another issue which is poetry as institutionally validated by academe, by programs, by esteemed critics and then popular poetry which is validated by audiences. Thousands of readers. Thousands of readers. Now our guests, which kind of validation do they prefer? I'm sorry to put you on the spot. It's not actually something we prepared for in terms of our guide questions. Because Ronald identified the issue so clearly. There is this sort of in a way this bigger picture that poetry is probably not as esoteric as we started out thinking it is. According to our journey stories, actually there is poetry and it's being consumed and produced really. Who got lines? All of that. All of these are intuitions of the poetic and there are poets who are actually popular in that realm but they have no institutional validation. And there are poets like Louise Glick and these other big names who are being given Pulitzer's etc. But they are not exactly popular. So in regard to your own sort of aspiration I want to ask our guests which kind of validation they wish for themselves. To be honest, I would want to have readers and these readers would also theoretically explore also other books of poems not just mine. So I think top of mind an honest answer just to be honest. I'm thinking like if I have like 10,000 or 100,000 readers and as I mentioned theoretically they also not just read me but other poets as well. But wouldn't that entail some kind of compromise too? And that's another question that we can look at that's related to that and then when the others respond they can answer as well is you know you have on one hand expression, your own innermost sort of like language and your articulation and then you have communication which is the other poll. If you appeal to communication then you're going to have more people reading you. But if you're going to prioritize expression that's going to be more or less a little exclusive to those people who can or willing to actually journey with you in that search for expression right? So there is a compromise of sorts. The 10,000 readers that you aspire for yourself are readers that you can tap only if you cater to the conventions that these readers are actually familiar with and expect. And that means actually probably diluting your own idiosyncrasy and personal expression. So if you can't have everything apparently. That's correct. I mean if you sell yourself out there it's like an insipid web. Like land leave, I'm sorry right? That poets stop pushing all the right buttons that's why. And so probably, yes we want a bigger readership but probably we don't want that to exert pressure that will actually start this compromise. So maybe there is a middle ground. I will see. So Ned? I think it would be debilitating to think about numbers and readership when you're writing it's better to just write whichever way you want to write and not think about are they going to like this or not because that will just be your own I think. No it won't. If you're going to write the way you want and you're going to satisfy your own standard then that's going to be more or less not going to be masa it's going to be more or less niche and quite sort of specialized. Because that's more or less the sensibility the sensibility is to be unique to be different to make it new which of course means not to be conventional to tap into not to push the buttons that everyone once pushed. But you're being hopeful. No I was actually surprised when I found snippets of my book on you know online was it Instagram or Twitter so it was like I was surprised. You're right, you're right. Who's to say? Maybe what we think is actually a little specialized, a little esoteric actually might resonate to some people, not a lot Maybe that's what I'm saying, not a lot and that is as it should be if a lot because then you're almost going to start asking yourself what have I done to my poetry why am I so masa right okay I don't know. Again it's different. See we're actually talking about our kind of poetry that actually doesn't mind being masa Ronald I want to have readers yes but I want to write the way I want to write so I don't in the end I don't care as much as I want to be read you know I want first I want to be happy with what I'm writing and I think it's a matter of but I want to connect I think not all poems are esoteric not all poems are highfalutin not all poems are difficult there are some poems that actually will be able that readers can relate to but why do our poems end up on Twitter because there are lines in our poems that young people or ordinary people can relate to There was a meme circulating maybe a month or two ago of who got lines and your poems are there you've written all these lines I don't know if I should feel good actually the point for me is this I'm not a kind of poet who writes difficult poetry and I think it's the reason why some people can relate to my poetry and quote from my work and I don't mind it I think your poems that resonate all our poems that actually resonate across many readers would be the more confessional ones the ones where actually we talk about ourselves and our own experiences and that's why probably the readers out there actually identify particularly the experiences have something to do with love and desire and longing and things like that that are quite easy to relate to I think the problem now is that our readers some of our readers do not really buy books there's another thing that we need to address why do people prefer reading poems online that's for free and I don't think they have the energy to read an entire collection our attention span is just really bungled up we can take only one poem at a time we're not interested at least our audience is not really interested in reading a collection and definitely not the difficult ones just write whatever you want to write and the audience will come to you it depends but it's so wonderful what you said that you basically satisfy yourself first and foremost so you write you have to feel happy about what you've written and you don't really worry too much about whether you'll be read and if you are read and if you end up being liked and trending somewhere then it's a bonus already it's not something that's actually bizarre from the get go it's just something that happens so that's probably one of the miracles of art is somewhere ok now since we're running out of time we only have a few minutes left we're going to just cover probably two more questions that I think are quite important the first one has to do with the idea of clicks or groupings of poets because we're pretty solitary as creatures that's something we established early on in our our journeys we happen into poetry or we journey into poetry more or less alone and then we start writing and then we become identified with certain other poets and we form withingly or not barkadas or clicks or groups that's the impression that some readers have are more or less writing schools writing clicks or groups in the country what are your thoughts on that is that impression a valid one or is it just a misimpression or false impression I think the clicks would originate from the university in the in the guilds in the writing organizations in the school papers and then ones who go beyond the walls of the university into the workshops and then the workshops generate their own clicks clicks and batches so I think it's really just a small instant community that you generate along it's not something we actually intended it's just part of the structural setup of everything is that you're going to end up having more or less groups that's correct I'd be be for most at the Mashin Hall at first and foremost but now you're teaching that here also that you're a poet and I studied my MFA at La Sal and now you're in a UP show in an UP show you're so promiscuous first published by UP Press and first published by UP Press again about to be Yes, yes so that's really a result of just how things are set up but I think that the question on clicks also has to do with whether those clicks end up behaving in certain undesirable ways let's say if members of a clique judge in the Palanka one year are they going to make another member of their clique win things like that I think that's the that's the essence of that kind of suspicion that some people have about poetry clicks but I'm thinking because poetry is so impractical and non monetizable and it's such a lonely enterprise to be a poet I think we're entitled to have clicks I'm sorry they become support systems and they become our friends and we read each other and we pat each other on the back when we need the pat but it's also I think not true that the clicks actually determine the results of these contests because what's good about the Palanka is that every year the judges will change and if you don't win this year just enter it again next year and that's happened a lot the poets actually and other in the other genres also they keep just entering the same piece and then they will find the right composition of judges that will like the work finally and that question your thoughts on the questions he brought up the being a Fomashian poet and I was actually surprised when the anthology Crowns and Oranges came out edited by Dr. Silin Bautista and Ken Shikawa and one of the first critiques of that anthology that I read was from Adam David and he said he noticed something about Fomashian poets and that's the excess of imagery and we had no idea what we were doing it's like we're not alone that's right so it kind of defines you as well and also I think it's a good sign that there are clicks because there are and it's good because it means we still don't have one definition or one way of writing poetry bureaucracy I like that if a member of one click happens to judge a palaoka then he will decide based on his beliefs of how poetry should be written for example in the end it's a matter of taste isn't it particularly in regard to these contests you will in fact gravitate towards the poetry you yourself wish to write or enjoy reading so clicks are unavoidable in my opinion and whoever is asking that question has to ask himself you are probably part of a click too right and clicks actually have been sort of like a feature of the Philippine literary scene there have been studies of the literary barcada you have the Veronica you have the Ravens you have all these different groups UP Writers Club etc and the Fomashian Writers Guild and LaSalle will have its own community of writers and readers they're doing a wonderful job they're now churning out so many award-winning writers your program your creative writing program yes including Carl Lamar here no the two of them this is a LaSalle show sorry that's the EP show palaoka okay clicks there's nothing wrong with having clicks in the community I want variety I want a critical dialogue amongst poets of different styles and actually one of the good effects of clicks is that particularly in the Philippine poetic scene it's the poets who have been the vanguard of pushing the envelope as far as critical discussion or discourse is concerned there have been so many literary and aesthetic debates already in the history of Philippine literature and English and they have mostly been led by the poets right because the poets have more or less they have support systems they can actually risk having an opinion because they know that they will have people who will more or less share their own opinion now since we have a very little time left I would like to ask each of our guests to give us some parting words words of wisdom words of advice the potential audience of of this episode of the cultura scenic atibapasho would be students and teachers in the different universities of the country maybe you want to address them now poetry is a difficult craft but it has infinite rewards so for those who would like to venture into this art form there are many books there are many sources to consult but at the end of the day it's you and the blank page and it's really just pushing yourself and getting in touch with yourself and using language to anchor yourself onto the page and hopefully that ends up results into a poem thank you well I guess the advice would be to be open to criticism to hone the craft by reading more reading extensively and not to be daunted by what seems to be a difficult poem because there's always a way of reading a poem and defy your teachers sometimes alright a halt to defiance from Ned and our professor from La Salle to the young readers write your life use poetry to inscribe the self and to affirm the self and the good news is that there are so many institutions or centers that can help you advertising at the BMEA Science and Creative Writing Center at the UP Institute Professor Bhaitan is also the current director of the Bienvenido Santos Creative Writing Center that's the Creative Writing Institute of La Salle we have at UP at UST so the support is here there are big universities now have creative writing programs and centers and poetry is always part of any kind of creative writing program learn the craft do not be disappointed if people give you your work just be true to your calling and you'll be alright yes well my own words the poetry is the genre of the private life it is actually when you write a poem or when you read a poem you're actually meant to become the speaker of that articulation and so it's one way to actually incarnate yourself again and again when you read the poems written by many different people if you're not quite happy with your own life read poems poems will afford you that experience of becoming someone else okay so with that I'd like to thank all our guests and I'd like to ask our audiences to stay tuned for our next episodes of Kultura Sinha Tiba Pa thank you so much and have a good day good afternoon everyone this is the title W from my forthcoming collection the elegant ghost W we are two men in a boat except the water resides in the vessel sloshing over the curved porcelain edge later we shall have salted it to sea the shower curtain billowing out oceans to shame for the distance that we cross thanks to the earth's magnificent engine the lamp throwing a towel of light by the bathroom door we left a jar is our sole source of illumination you have always wanted it half dark here your nakedness is the one thing permanent total like imperialism I trace your ribs like the ladder of a song whose final note culminates in the hollow of your throat it's always been there a gift to show our goodwill we barter kisses lacquered boxes lined with expensive silk I open them like a rich man and each time I find a scroll of paper written with brushstrokes and a biography what I understand is your name you brought all the way from Hiroshima you pressed on the palm of my hand do I love you more than your body it's not a question but an instruction so you wrote me towards the borders of my skin taught with nerve endings we are swimmers now breaking surface tension our pores glitter our fingers prune good afternoon I'm Ronald Baitan I'm going to read a poem titled distance from my first book of poetry the queen sings the blues distance tonight you are walking in another world I press my hand to my face my arms and armpits knees and legs hoping to find traces of you in my body but you have been gone for months and countless showers have expunged you from my body I look all around me the books the pillows the tapes our pictures and the room can only declare with such clarity perhaps you too are alone in a solitary room too big for one person dreaming of the voice that has kept you warm for many years or the face you have memorized constantly with your fingers perhaps truth is not that sweet you are in a bar too small for a 50 perhaps pressed against the cold mouth of a glass of beer and you have ordered another one for the man sitting just across the bar and his grin says he likes you in my mind you are present in all things but the bed betrays me it remains half full the quilt of your voice stretches across the continents but it cannot keep me warm enough love is all proximity and nothing not even the thought you are thinking of me can equal your return good afternoon this is from a second book Tilt Me and I Bend published by UP Press 2017 the title is crime fiction we are citizens of the dark matter you left me dripping in your city of rain no hard feelings yes, hard feelings if the night is a figure in an alley holding a knife hide I am touchy and it is raining in the city when I look at you I become aware of my wet clothes clinging to the weakness inside I hang awkwardly in your story and inside me the dark matter goes ding like a cash register on a rainy night somebody calls it mixed feelings but no hard feelings yes, it's so hard hard as the city against the rain of possible descriptions nobody dies tonight nobody eats rats in dark bedrooms tonight you are made danger and the sentence is wet and you are the vessel of all the math equations I failed to solve in school anatomy without visual aids private is the function of the dark matter I keep mentioning to you about I am touchy and I have hard feelings falling is a private dagger I feel dangerous when you look at me I don't like that feeling