 That presents the Great Gildersleeve. Hee hee hee. This company also brings you a big car every Thursday night, for that each week at this time Harold Perry has the Great Gildersleeve, written by John Wheaton and Sam Moore. I'll hear from the Great Gildersleeve in just a moment. The first of the men in your family thinks flavor is the most important virtue of the food you serve? Well, you homemakers know that nutrition is equally important. And that's why parquet, the quality margarine made by Kraft, is so popular with so many American families. For a parquet margarine is the wonderful red ration standard value in both flavor and nutrition. It requires just five red ration points a pound, and it has a delicate appetizing flavor that really satisfies. As a spread for bread and a seasoning for hot cooked vegetables, I think you'll agree that parquet flavor is just about top. Cakes and cookies taste better when made with parquet margarine too, because it's a real flavor shortening, and you like it for pan frying because it doesn't spatter or stick to the pan. What's more, parquet is highly nutritious. In fact, it's one of the best energy foods you can serve, and it's a reliable year round source of vitamin A. So for flavor, for economy, and for good nutrition, ask your dealer for parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet margarine made by Kraft. On to Summerfield in the Great Gilder Sleeve. It's the last day of May, just four weeks before his wedding day, and Gilder Sleeve is a busy, busy man. This morning, one of his make preparations for the Memorial Day exercises. The great man is in his studies, straightening out his affairs, and clearing the decks for matrimony. So we find him now with pen and hand, laboring over the composition of a mighty document. I, Throckmorton P. Gilder Sleeve, being of sound mind and body. Do you hear my device in between? Come on. It's building. Do you ask for margarine? Come out and see it. Come out and see what? The flag. We've got it out. Oh, a little while, my dear. Right now I'm very... Oh, come on. You aren't doing anything. You're not doing anything? I'm not doing anything, my dear young lady. I happen to be engaged in one of the most solemn duties of a man's lifetime. Do you know what I'm writing? Oh, cool. Anybody think it was your last real interest in it? Come on. But, but, hey, hey, let go. Well, let me put down my pen first. I don't know what there is such a rush about anyway. I've seen the flag before. Well, we found a new place for it when we wanted to see it. Oh, where? We hung it from the roof. How did you ever get it up there? Well, Leroy, it turned out to be out of window. Come on, Leroy, and tell us if you like it. Well... We want the face to look nice when the parade goes by. Oh, and Leroy's coming over, too. Good. Good thing. And Birdie's planned a wonderful lunch. There. Do you like the flag, dear? Well, it looks fine, Leroy. Only for heaven's sakes, be careful out there. Don't worry. Isn't it, Birdie? Anagaz is the prettiest house on the street, don't you? Yeah, but I wish Leroy would get down off that roof before I come up there after you. Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of. Be careful now, my boy. Oh, that crazy kid. Honestly, what comes over, boy? I don't know. It's the one that immediately lived as long as he has. Oh, that reminds me. I got to get back to work. They call me when it's time for the parade. Oh, it won't be long for an hour yet. Nightrope walkers, more interruptions. People just let me alone like at this will, finished. Will. Leroy's the one who could make the will. The great Khan Kalino. Oh, brother. Let me see now. I thought Morton P. Gillersley being a sound mind and body to hear by devise and bequeat to my locally wedded wife. Now, to my dearly beloved wife. My dearly beloved wife. Come in, beloved. Hi, Gilday. Yep, Hooker. What do you want? What on earth are you dressed up for, an admiral? I'm meeting the parade today, Grand Marshal. Just stopped over to ask if you wouldn't join us. You're in the parade? Yeah. You mean march? Yes. On foot? Well, I suppose you could go on your hands and knees. Oh, no, Judge. I'm not much on marching. My feet. You've got to, Gilday. All the younger men are gone this year. We want them to have a nice turnout. Well, I guess I can certainly keep up with you, you old ghost. I'll tell you, I'll do it on one condition. What's that? If you'll help me with my will. You're going up a will? Sure. Get a little start on it right here. That's it. All right. Thought Morton P. Gillersley being a sound mind and body. Gilday, you mind if I ask a question? What? What makes you think you're a sound mind? Huh? And look at that body. Never mind a priceless witch, Hooker. You don't want to help me, don't you? Now, Gilday, I should be delighted to draw up your will for you at any other time. Right now, I've got to get down to City Hall. How about this afternoon? Well, all right then. See you down at the parade. Oh, Gilday, there's one thing that just occurred to me. Yes? On second thought, you might prefer to have another attorney handle your will for you. Why, Judge? Well, I don't like to bring this up, but we're old friends, aren't we, Gilday? Yes, we are. We've been through a lot together, haven't we? Yes, yes, we've been through all that before, too. What's on your mind? You may not be aware of this, but under the law, it is illegal for persons witnessing or drawing up a will to be beneficiary. I nearly mentioned this. What? Well, we're such old friends, and we've been through so much together. I just thought, if you should want to leave me some slight remembrance. Judge, I'm going to leave you a lock of my hair. Keep your shirt on, my boy, for ages never start on time. Isn't that right, Ben? I don't know, Mr. Gildersleeve. I thought we were just going to watch this go by the house here. Well, you are, but I'm going to march in it. Oh, I didn't know that. What war were you in? I was in World War I, Ben. Oh, sure. Did you get to France, Mr. Gildersleeve? I should say I did, my boy. Paris. When did you get over there? I suppose I might. Yes. Well, if you do, I wonder if, uh, Leroy, you go help your sister for a minute. Help her watch. She ain't doing anything. She's not doing anything. And that's what I said? Never mind. Go away. Go upstairs and bring down that picture of me in my uniform so I can show Ben. Okay. And tell him, mind you, to hurry down here. Ben will walk out of it. Yeah, for a chance. What was I saying, Ben? Something about France, I think. Oh, yes, yes. If you should get to Paris, my boy, I want you to go to a certain number on a certain speed and ask at a certain party if she remembers Michel Gildersleeve. Yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. You can get the idea? Oui, oui. Oh, she was a lovely creature, Ben. And her mother. Oh, boy. How should she cook. I think you'll like her, Ben. Oh, sure. She's a blond, just 28 years old, in 1980. Let me see. That would make her 53. It's not possible. Oh, my goodness, how time flies. One person. I don't care to see it now, Leroy. Fifty-three. Poor Mimi. I can't believe it. Oh, Sasha, Uncle Slatter. Nothing. Go help Marjorie. Well, Pete Shake, aren't you through talking about power? Leroy, you're getting too fresh. Oh, that's Mrs. Ransom. We have a little signal. In here, Lelah. Good morning, sweetheart. I'll take the flag out in front. Looks just beautiful. Lelah, I've got a surprise for you. I'm going to march in the parade. That's right. Would you like to see a picture of uniform, Mrs. Ransom? Leroy, give me that. Oh, now, Schrockman, I want to see it. Oh, why, you were cute in your uniform. Cute? Now, just let it go, my boy. Oh, Pete. Oh, well, I didn't go into the army at the top. I went in as a private and won my promotion the hard way. How'd you come out, Uncle? Corporal. I've got to get started if I'm going to be in the parade. The boys are assembling behind the courthouse at 11. Goodbye, Lelah. I'm off to the war. Oh, wait a minute, Schrockman. What's the matter? You're not going to march in the parade in just that little old business shoot, are you? Well, what else? Well, your uniform, Shirley. Oh, I couldn't, Lelah. Oh, but it could look so distinguished. It would look out of date, Lelah. The uniforms today are entirely different. Oh, Schrockman, you never do anything I ask you. I do truly, Lelah. I just don't know where my uniform is. I don't want to come in the attic. Leroy. Oh, it's good to be you, Leroy. Please, Schrockman, for Lelah. Leroy, you come with me. Little sharp eyes. Trunk is at end, Leroy. This one over here, Uncle. That one? I haven't got the key to that. I guess we'll just have to let the uniform go. Don't worry. Ooh. Mothballs. Come on, Leroy. Fish it out of there. I haven't got all day. Yeah. Well, this stuff shrinks, you know. Yeah? Yeah. Besides, mothballs will shrink anything, Leroy. Well, I don't find any patees in here. Maybe we'd just better let the pants go. Okay, here's the coat. Blouse, Leroy. Blouse. Oh, blouse. Funny how it looks as if the mothballs cut that down, too. What did I tell you? Eh, well, I think maybe I can get into it, though. Here. Hold my coat. Okay. Probably be a little tight, but it'll sort of give a military effect. See? See? I got it on. Yeah. Yeah, well, can you button it? Oh, of course. Yeah. You ought to remember that when I was in France, I weighed several pounds less than I do today. Are you kidding? Yeah. I just feel good to get back in the old uniform. Come on, Leroy. Let's show the ladies. Well, folks, what do you think of it? No patees, Leroy. Can't wear them without patees. I wanted to know, Leroy. Well, kiss your hand, fair lady. We will be with us again in a few seconds. Meanwhile, instead of saying more about Parquet, the quality margin made by Kraft, I'd like to say right here and now hats off to the man who sells Parquet, your neighborhood grocer. Remember that rationing is causing you occasional headaches. Remember that rationing is a major problem for your grocer hundreds of times each day. In fact, he deserves real credit if his disposition isn't tired and worn, what was getting to work so early in the morning to arrange his stock for you and working far into the night every night to store his stamps and plan his ordering. He has endless records and reports to fill out, too. Yes, your food dealer is an important workman on the home front, and he merits the help and the cooperation of all of us. You see, most of the foods he buys and sells are rationed to him, too. He has to budget his ration stamps in order to buy many of the things you buy from him. So why not help yourself and help him at the same time by planning family menu several days in advance and by shopping early in the week and early in the day? Your friend the grocer will appreciate it. Let's get back to the great Gildersleeve. Prior to the conservative business shoot, he's marched valiantly in the hot sun, and now he's arriving at his home to claim the soldier's reward. In this case, a share of the delicious lunch with Birdie's promise. But her hero's a little late, and the house seems strangely quiet. Marjorie, Leroy, where is everybody? Is that you, Mr. Gildersleeve? Of course it's me, Birdie. Where is everybody? Well, away from you, Mr. Gildersleeve. They waited about two hours before they had lunch. You've been marching all the time? Oh, yes, Birdie. I march so far my feet are killing me. I'm so hungry I don't care. Well, you just sit down and take your shoes off, Mr. Gildersleeve, and I'll warm up a nice lunch for you right away. Thank you, Birdie. But if you march so long, Mr. Gildersleeve... Well, it wasn't all marching, Birdie. We stood there in the park for a couple of hours listening to the speeches. But it certainly was impressive. Makes a man think, Birdie. Yes, sir. I'd like to be remembered by everyone. There's a man who did something for the city. Well, so you're the head man at the waterworks. Well, I'm Summerfield's 16th Water Commissioner, yes. But a few years from now, who'll know it? That's what I've been thinking about some sort of a monument for, Birdie. You mean like a statue? Well, I don't know. You think that'll be good? Oh, no, sir. I don't care much for statues. Now, you take them two statues in the park. Every time I walk past Abraham Lincoln and standing there, I feel sorry for him. Why? Because he's been standing there so long. Yes. But what about the statue of General Freemont? Don't you like that? No, sir. Every time I go past that, I get mad. But why? Because he's got a horse and I'm walking. And he ain't even gone nowhere. Yeah, you're right. I'm afraid you just don't like sculpture, though, Birdie. Oh, yes, I do, Mr. Gildersleeve. You know what I like? What? That fountain in front of the park. What? That fountain in front of the courthouse with the water spraying down and the goldfish swimming around down below. I like that. So do I. By George, a fountain, Birdie, for a water commissioner, what could be better? With a little bronze plaque on it. Not too little. Let's see. This fountain presented to the city by Somerville's 16th water commissioner, Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve. Then maybe some short, dignified statement like he served his fellow townsman well. I'm pretty, Mr. Gildersleeve. Yes, sir. I can hear the water splashing into the fountain right now. So can I. Or am I going to give Mr. Graves a ball and over? Yes. Graves? Hmm, Birdie, I'm starving. Well, hang on, Mr. Gildersleeve. You can't stop the destiny to get that monument. Yeah, you're right, Birdie. I'm going to have Judge Hooker put in that fountain in my will right now. Throckmorton, let me ask you something. Why are you suddenly in such a sweat to make a will after letting it go all this time? Well, for one thing, I think it's a man's duty to make a will for one thing. Yeah, what else? Well, uh, Leela mentioned it once or twice. Oh. And anyhow, I think it's a man's duty. You can't tell, things can happen. Here I am about to get married. Yeah, Leela, it strikes me that you're preparing for marriage as if you were preparing for the next world. No, I'll see you here, Hooker. That's not true. All right. Sorry. Sorry. I'm true, but I shouldn't have said it. Yes. I'm sorry. Yeah. Well, if you want to get off this will, I'm going to require certain information. Such as what? Well, to begin with, how much money have you got? Yeah. Don't you wish you knew. Well, I've got to know. What for? Gildy, if you want me to help you with your will, you've got to take me into your confidence. Well, all right, Judge, what do you want to know? I ask you, how much money have you got? None of your business. If I tell you, you'll tell everybody in town. Gildy, what passes between a lawyer and credentials? You know that. Come on now. How much have you got? Cash. Cash. Well, in the neighborhood of the $500. In the neighborhood? Yes. Small neighborhood, isn't it? You too? I'd be lucky if I could put my hands on $300 right now. Well, to be perfectly frank with you, Judge, I've got just $275. And that's not counting the bills that will be forward again tomorrow. Isn't it terrible? Terrible. The way things are, a man's lucky being stay out of jail. Now, let's see. He insured me. And what about the rest? What about Lila? Of course, she has her own money. Yes. I'll tell you what I thought, Horace. I thought it'd be nice to endow a small memorial. A memorial? Yeah, a fountain, perhaps. A memorial fountain. A memorial to what? Well, to the two of us. Me being water commissioner, I think a fountain be kind of appropriate, don't you? You know, with the water coming out? Strockmorton, may I ask what you propose to endow this fountain with? Well, with my residuary estate. With it, well, the $275. What, you think you could buy a fountain for that? Wouldn't be any Niagara. I think you'd be lucky to get a bird bath. Oh. You do, huh? Well, you know, Judge, you may think you're joking, but a bird bath isn't such a bad idea. Oh, now, guilty. I mean it. I've always been fond of birds. Birds like me, too. They come right up to me sometimes. And Leela, Leela's crazy about birds. She's got a little bitty wren that's building a nest in her front porch right now. Every morning she goes out to peeks at it. Yes, sir, a man could do worse than have the birds remember him. Birds are man's truest friend. I thought dogs were man's truest friend. I'm not building any dog bath. Boris, how soon could you get this will drawn up? Well, that shouldn't take much time. Of course, we need witnesses. I guess I'd get my secretary for one. Oh, and Pee-Vee. Pee-Vee, do it. I know he's open this afternoon because Leeroy's working for him. Do you think you could get it ready? What's the rush? Well, I'd just like to have a judge. I'm going over to Leela's tonight, and I'd sort of like to surprise her with it. You'd surprise her, all right? Boy, that's no way to talk about Mr. Pee-Vee. I'd like to see him for a moment, please. Oh, gosh, Ron, can't I wait on you? I never get a chance to sell medicine. But would you? It wouldn't matter if I made a mistake. I disagree, my boy. Oh, just try, young. I can find you anything in the store, practically. Then find Mr. Pee-Vee. I get if I bother him about something I can handle myself. Leeroy. What? Wake up the chief. Oh, all right. Maybe we shouldn't bother Pee-Vee if he wants to sleep. Oh, nonsense. Pee-Vee sleeps 24 hours a day anyway. Oh, hello, Pee-Vee. I hope we didn't interrupt anything important. No, no, no. Don't take care of you gentlemen, and I can get a try back for it. Hi, you guys. Fine, thank you, Pee-Vee. I saw you, John, well, in the parade this morning. I thought you both looked very gassy. Well, glad to do our bit, Pee-Vee. How does it happen you weren't marching? Someone told me you were an ex-soldier. Yeah, sure. I was in the artillery. 49th Field Artillery, U.S.A. Well, I'll be died. Were you a gunner? No, I wasn't a gunner. I was in what you might call the transportation hand of the artillery. Oh, what's that? I commanded a platoon of mules. You? That's hard to believe, Pee-Vee. Why, the mule is a stubbornest animal known to men. Well, I wouldn't say that. Although a mule has your mind of his own, I'll admit, but they're hard workers. They are? Yes, they're hard workers. And they're loyal. Every mule in my platoon was just as loyal as a jackass could be. Gildersleeve, can't we get down to business here? I haven't time to listen to Pee-Vee's military experiences. All right, I'm sorry, Johnny, I'm just going on. What can I do for you? Well, you won't make a penny on it, Pee-Vee. We just want you to witness Mr. Gildersleeve's will, if you don't mind. Thank you, Johnny. Glad to be in service. Oh, Leroy. Yes, Chief? This is the type of service I was telling you about yesterday. Institutional type. Oh, you're right. Have you got the document with you, Mr. Gildersleeve? Right here, Pee-Vee. Get away, Leroy. This is none of your business. Aunt, did you leave me anything? You've been amply provided for. Sign right here, Pee-Vee. Aunt, will you leave me your pistol within your bureau drawer? No. Oh, please, huh? Now, Leroy, remember lesson one. The customer is always right. Oh, sorry, Chief. I forgot. All right. Now, here, Johnny. That's it. Richard. Pee-Vee. There you are, Mr. Gildersleeve, and I hope your will gives you the same lasting satisfaction as mine has given me. Well, I hope so, too. I executed my will in 1913, naming my wife as sole beneficiary, and I never wanted to change the syllable of it. Neither has Mr. Pee-Vee. Well, I can imagine. Well, what's your blight? Well, I can imagine. Well, I can imagine. Well, I can imagine. Well, I can imagine. Well, what's your blight, Pee-Vee? We've got to be running along now. All right. I'll go and close up here myself in a minute. Leroy, you want to go along now with your uncle? Are you sure you can spare me? I think so. All right. I'll see you tomorrow. Good night, Chief. Good night, little beaver. Here's my pocket. Leroy, you know something? What, darling? Guess who's in my will? Go on, Leroy. Guess, will you? I couldn't possibly. I'm too happy to guess. Then I'll tell you, darling. Yes, you tell me. You know that little bird that has a nest in your porch? You know the one that sings under your window every morning? Oh, Dickie Bird. I call him Dickie Bird. Yeah, Dickie Bird. That Dickie Bird has been provided for, Leroy. It's all right here in the will. Oh, Strasmo, that's just like you to remember, little bird. See? It's all written out right here. Oh, darling, you have complicated things like that. Oh, well, sweetheart, in memory of both of us, I'm leaving money for a municipal bird bath. All right. You have to take care of the children. Leroy, I thought you didn't know anything about wills. Well, I was... Sweetheart, I thought you liked birds. I thought I should do about this. No, but I think I know what he'd say. This is Ken Carpenter speaking for the Calf Cheese Company, inviting you to listen in again next Sunday while the further adventures of the Great Yellows sleep. You women are looking for extender recipes these days and all kinds of ways to make the less printable foods go further. Well, do you know about the product called craft dinner? All by itself, a package of craft dinner gives you a swell macaroni and cheese main dish fast. Enough macaroni and cheese for four people. And for it, you put out just one single red ration point. Now, if you have a little meat or some leftover chicken or seafood, you can extend it by adding it to the craft dinner macaroni and cheese. Or you can mold the hot craft dinner into a ring and in the center serve your small amount of meat or what have you, creamed. Each package of craft dinner holds a quick cooking macaroni and some craft grated to put cheese flavor through and through the fluffy macaroni in a jiffy. Get some soon so that you can cook a macaroni and cheese dish in seven minutes or use it as an extender of less printable foods. Remember, it's craft dinner. The program will race you from Hollywood...