 I'm trying to think how I can word it because it's really just a feeling that I feel Everything that I have is just two years ago And in a way you still kind of tell them the same story if that opportunity opened up I would play but I'm still kind of battling that battle It was a historic night in Springfield senior Bill Kees Abdul Kadeer blue Rebecca Lobo scoring record out of the water Basically, I literally graduated went home gathered on my bags and went to the airport So that's how fast things were going. Where's Bill Kees? Right here stand up Bill Kees just so that we I want everybody to know She's got heels on she's five five as an athlete on her way to Memphis Bill Kees is an inspiration not simply to Muslim girls She's an inspiration to all of us Bill Kees Abdul Kadeer has been invited to the program combines these events Give the top college seniors in the country a chance to be evaluated by foreign coaches I wasn't ready for what was about to happen. You know, like I was just trying to play For the first time in her playing career Bill Kees Abdul Kadeer has hit a roadblock basketball's governing body Feeba has ruled that bands players from wearing equipment that may cause injury to others including headwear hair accessories and jewelry In the wake of terrorist attacks in Paris and San Bernardino for these historic figures Just as for the other five million plus Muslims in the United States This is an especially visible month of their faith and world events of equity cross-american society Making this question a complex one to answer. What is it like to be a Muslim athlete in the United States today? It's hard being a young Muslim woman in America It takes strength to walk outside and look different than everybody else. I pray that it gets better, but I think you know, there's so many mindsets That would have to be changed People kind of look at you different when they see Muslim women They have this stereotype that they're quiet that they're submissive that they're not supposed to do these certain things Everybody thinks yeah, it's just a sport But when I play basketball I worry about nothing it takes me out of real life I was gonna finish school. I was gonna play basketball. I was gonna do all this stuff. And now it's just like a huge question mark Right now. I don't know who I am. Am I anybody without basketball, you know, am I still myself? I'm just gonna go ahead and give you all a brief history of myself I'm born born and raised in Springfield, Massachusetts, which is also the birthplace of basketball That's also where the basketball Hall of Famance. So if you're ever up that way, go check it out I am the youngest of eight. So I have four sisters and three brothers in which we all played basketball So I like to say that it was kind of the nature me to pick up the ball and play I Am the daughter of two People who converted to serve so my mother converted and she was very young My father as well. My Umi was raised a Christian My siblings and I were all born and raised as Muslim So again basketball was the sport that we played in Springfield in a lot of ways basketball was the only way for us to Get out and get an education and I remember a specific conversation that I had with my Umi one day Was myself and my brother right above me We were kind of the last two to kind of go off and you know, get ready to go to college or prepare And I was around 12 years old and she looked she looked at us that in our faces and she said look She said I can't afford college. So you're gonna have to figure it out You have to get a scholarship whether it's academic whether it's to a sport. So, um, you know, kind of I need your help You know, I need you guys to help out. So how do they love my brother and I both received full scholarships to college to universities My brother went to family college in Boston and then I Played at the University of Memphis, but that day something hit me When my Umi told me that, you know, of course mothers are always really the backbone of the family And I didn't want to see two of my father's struggle financially I've seen it and so my goal was to play basketball and be good at it So I remember Sleeping with the basketball I remember watching my brother's play and trying to do every move that they did Repetitive over and over again. I'll be outside up and down my My block dribbling the ball and wherever I could find a basketball to move like that's where I was and Tell me that my father I remember cemented to put our first in our backyard and still there to the states I'll rest it up, but that's where we played a lot And so again, that was it for me like I chose basketball. That was the sport that I committed all my time to My parents and I traveled from Many too many places just so I can play they invested a lot of their time in it because they saw that I loved it And it was a huge passion for me And like I said in that film, you know, when I stepped on the court It was a place where you forget about everything like it was my stress reliever When I was going through things I wanted to play and it just took your mind off a lot and Growing up Just being born an African-American in a Muslim is tough because you have to prove yourself in a lot of different ways You have to prove yourself to the Muslims who are African-American You have to prove yourself to the people who work on Muslim that you fit in And that's just a normal human being But I remember the place where I felt most comfortable being a Muslim being a Muslim woman and Being African-American was on the court because when you play a game, you're out there to win There's just nobody really going back and forth about what you look like or what you're wearing at that point That ball goes up and you tap it and it's time to play so When I was a freshman in high school, that's when I began to wear hijab I'm gonna tell you I Didn't want to do it. I Did it because I didn't want my Umi to be upset. I didn't want to be upset upset I have older sisters who you know, everybody has their family and everybody choose their own path so I've seen my Umi get disappointed at some points and You know, the worst thing you want is that disappointment from your parents So I remembered, you know all the women that I see growing up had hijab Or hijab so I'm like, I know I had to do it but I didn't understand it I didn't like it. It took me like two weeks to go to school. So I forgot to mention. I was home schooled all the way up until 8th grade and So my first year in like a public school, I was uncovered. I looked like everybody else that next year here I am Randomly happened kind of in the middle of the school year and so it took me two weeks to go back to school I was sick every morning because I was like Umi. No, I'm not ready She's like, but when are you gonna be ready? I'm like, I don't know. I don't know And I remember going to school the first day wearing hijab and my head was down on my desk People were asking like what's wrong? I tried to wear hood Of course the teacher's like, oh, you can't wear hood in school and I'm like, I already looks like that What's the difference? And I remember it was a struggle. It was a struggle and again once the basketball season hit and I showed up all covered up the first game people were confused like is that the same group from last year and They figured out of course It was me and that's when things kind of started to take off, you know, I was like it I was well-known one because I was pretty good at it. I was scoring a lot of points You know, I was getting recognized for that and then on top of that just looking different And so at a young age being what 14 15 having that pressure having that image To uphold as a young Muslim woman It's challenging especially Growing up as a Muslim When you're when you're born into it, you can't choose it So as a person who converts to a sign That's what you that's what your choice is. You chose to be Muslim So for us young people or the generations who have been born into a sign for us, it's time to it's like It's like, you know autopilot. We know that we have to pray We know that we have to fast We know all these things like it's just second-hand nature, but we don't understand why and as a young person We don't understand why that's just the truth and At some point just like somebody who converts to a sign you're gonna have to choose it So when I first chose this time was when basketball was taken away. I Was known as the Muslim girl who plays basketball I was known as that girl with the scarf who plays But my image was the Muslim Cooper. So when basketball was taken away, I was just a Muslim so for me, I'm like man, am I doing that part right am I being a Muslim and I realized when I hit that crossroad like I said in that joke I had to make a decision and I felt the most stress or Some type of little I guess out to depression something like that when I was going through that time in that film early on Just figuring it out like question and everything like is it time for me like why would a lot take away something that I love? I didn't get it for the same reason that I was doing it. That was my contradiction So I was both known for being a hijabi for wearing hijab while I played basketball and then that same hijab Was the one that kept me from reaching my dreams So I was torn. I'm like it was not adding up It's not adding up. I was ready to take it off. I didn't express that to anybody now It's probably the worst thing that I could do. I didn't know who to tell. I didn't know who to talk to People will come up to me all the time and say why don't you just take it off and then put it back on after the game I'm like man, that sounds logical and that at that moment. I'm like, no, it's not that easy like it's just not You know, I'm kind of lying. It's just not that easy No, it means a lot to me and it really didn't mean a lot to me at that point The job didn't mean a lot to me at that point I didn't understand for it to to mean something to me And so I remember the last resort that I felt was that I prayed and that I realized that there was no person No organization, whoever could help me get over this hope that I was battling whether to choose my side Already or whether it was gonna be basketball So I remember for the first time and my 23 years of life. I have a long I have been praying I Prayed for the first time I felt it I Remember praying and I remember where I was I was in my room I was in I was in I was in grad school and I'm in my room and I'm just like battling with it With the job just like what why am I gonna do this? And I went to shoot you to do it and I started crying and I'm like, oh, this is brand new I don't cry in my life, but at that moment I realized that I needed a lot. I Needed him because there was nobody else doing it for me and It was the craziest feeling that I felt and I pray that I you always want that feeling it felt like something was being pulled At my heart and I don't know what it was But I know that I finally felt my prayer and I finally realized that you know what? Everything that I was questioning. Let me write back to a lot everything So for me, I remember the next day Was probably going to basketball practice And I was struggling with wearing hijab, you know, there's all these different styles now But for me, I was wearing like the turban style Every day and I remember going to a game. I think And at that moment, I was trying to fix it. I was trying to tie it up. It was just not going on right I'm like, what is going on? It just wasn't tight. I'm right. I put it around and it was like perfect So I go out public Everybody at the game. Oh my God. She's really so pretty. I've never said or they weren't saying much. I'm sorry But there's oh my gosh, Casey. That's my name and you look so nice with it that way I like we were ready to start that way. I'm just like Really? I never wanted this way in front of people because I was just so afraid to do it always when I prayed or went to the Bastion but never in public and At that moment, I was just showing me little signs. I'm like Why are all these people thinking I'm pretty? I think I look terrible with it this way I really did for all the time when I first started wearing the job I'm like, I don't want to wear it like this because I just didn't feel pretty but After that's a lot why why I cried. I'm like, you know what? I need to just stand up and do this, right? Because then I was getting emails and tagging pictures and social media of little girls With their VTAP on with their little tights in a basketball game saying that they wanted to be just like and I'm like You see you have to step outside yourself. Like it's no longer about me. Like this is bigger than me and I realized that If I don't stand up, I was the only one in that position only one and What I realized is and what I try to spread when I'm doing these speeches like never in my life that I do I'm out speaking in front of people It's so to be up here in front of you and sharing your weaknesses You have to be vulnerable and I wasn't that type of person like I didn't want anybody to see me cry Now I'm just surprised they back out of time But it's crazy the path that allow clothes to give you a better one And I know that being a young Muslim woman I can only speak for for women right now because the pressures that we face brothers You don't understand You don't understand what it's like to go outside and look different and I said that if you don't understand And the law did this for a reason Because you all have to to blend in a little bit to do what you do for us But at the same time we bear so much weight just by walking out with you Davon and so what I can ask from you all is to support us During our struggles or during times when you we feel the heat from the media or whatever the case may be But as young as some women we have to do what we're supposed to do And I know it's hard because we want to feel pretty we want to fit the mold kind of that is shown on Instagram or whatever else But a lot is protecting us through how we're supposed to dress and how we're supposed to act and what we're supposed to say Like it's protection and it took me forever to figure that out Four years ago. I always say I felt like I became Muslim when I prayed that's a lot But I knew a sign for a long time, but I've never felt it in my heart until a lot tested me So basketball was my first test of life I had to figure out that it didn't the ball meant a lot But it didn't mean that much for me to stand up on a dead judgment and get questioned and say Why do you take any tap off? like I Couldn't answer that in my head. I'm like, there's no way that when I'm about to stand in front of a lawn I'm gonna tell him that I wanted to play basketball It didn't add up. It still doesn't add up That's how I knew And so for us as young people and even as adults We have to give a lot of his time and that's what I figured out that was gonna help me get through I Looked at something. It was a post I said this to the girls earlier. I can't that we have our whole day and I'm gonna ask you how many how much time do you think we spend praying throughout the day? Include your son those or whatever if you pray some how long do you think it it takes? So I don't hold that so my daughter number 20 said 25 okay somebody else 30 so what I read 48 minutes So we have a whole day and a lot is asking us for 48 minutes, but when we pray Sometimes we don't and if you do it's love I'm going through the positions all crazy not letting our bones rest in each position We're rushing through and we have 48 minutes to pray five in the extras There's no way we can't make time for a lot And I was just here earlier. There's your mind brother that would give you his hookup And essentially that's what he was saying like are we preparing for what we should be preparing for? Or are we too busy trying to fit in? And I see it all the time and I know what it feels like as a young Muslim girl to want to fit in I know what if well what I see for young boys young men. Do you want to fit in? We have to let it go like what we do is for the sake of a lot and that's it That's it and it's hard to understand. I battled with it every day. I battled with it every day It's like always an inner battle man You want to do something but you know you can't And it's scary. I know it's scary being in college being the only Muslim on your team Really being surrounded by non-Muslims all the time is the hardest thing because you fall in With them so easily so easily It's so easy to just slip up and do what they do and you don't even think that is wrong You start to make excuses. Oh, no, it's just a little bit of this is fine I can go there is fine, but it's not and at some point you have to stop it So I know for us It's time to not be afraid to be Muslim. You have to pray in your office praying your office Brothers if you want to wear a kufi or a thode to see how it feels For us to walk outside feel different do it Like why not grow your beard? Do whatever you have to do to be Muslim Right now we're afraid to be Muslim sometimes and it's I know it's hard, but we can't be that anymore We're the only faith that has a set Set rules set laws to follow The only faith left That has that And we take it for granted So What I have to say what my main message is is to really it starts with prayer. That's it Bring five times a day and doing it and trying to feel it and you have to fake it till you make it Because sometimes you're in Salah and you're thinking about a thousand different things You might need to pray it again. I felt like I need to do that a few times a lot of times But it starts with Salah and I know for me. That's what brought me back to my deed and my assignment and again It's still a struggle every day every day is a struggle Trying to trying to kind of find your way but I know that Keeping a lot first is what keeps me going Understanding that whatever he has planned is what his plan is and we cannot change it very much I know do I can change a lot of things But accept the things that happened and it took me a while to accept that I wasn't going to be a basketball player That's what I thought Still to this day. I'm probably going to get the question. So I'm going to answer it now Am I going to play? Just in october FEMA has removed the rule and made it effective so that not only Muslim women but Jewish men who are young kids can play seek men who wear turbans can play So it's not only benefiting the Muslim community. It's benefiting a lot of others. However, um I don't know. I've already started life in a way It's been three years since I competitively play. I still play every once in a while But it's just tough. Like am I going backwards? um I can say that if the right opportunity presents itself And you know, that's what I'm supposed to do. Then I'll probably take it up But you know a lot knows best right now I know I feel at ease to know that I pray that Allah just puts in place what's best for myself and my family so um and then my main goal with the whole Muslim girls who too while I'm here this weekend is that um I want to use this for the basketball like I could help me Just break down walls Because I remember stepping on the court even in college and people yelling out all types of crazy stuff to me I would be dead silent on a free throw line And Somebody would yell out. She's wrapped in a king size sheet. I remember that First of all, that's a terrible joke. What are you? What? Also another person said um that looked like Osama bin Laden's niece Don't know what his niece looks like. So I don't know where he got that from just terrible jokes But I realized that you know, when I did walk into gyms I got a lot of stares a lot of people nudging the next person next to them and pointing and laughing I would be so mad. I'm it Took still today. It still is hard for me to just smile and keep it going try to you know, keep the sun together But when I was on the court, I would go to my teammates like y'all I'm gonna slap somebody I'm sorry, but I'm tired of everybody looking at me crazy But I realized that when they saw that I could play Those stares and all those blank looks they would come up to me after and they would turn into questions like oh Um You're a great player, but why do you have that on so for me? I had a process like you know what? Can you see this is actually a point where you can give your dollar And it was so easy just for me to shoot a basket and then somebody come ask me Why do you have that on and that's where it all started every time? Why do you have that on and that you know that conversation goes and it just takes off My teammates I would be the a lot of the times my teammates especially in college They'll be like you're the first Muslim person I've ever met They'll be like I didn't know y'all were cool Yeah, because I'm not human so But it would be so cool I would I would even have teammates come with me when it was time to pray I would leave practice or we'll be on the road traveling and I'm like all right I gotta go pray and just to respect that I have for myself and that I have for style Even before I had my change and my genes and identity and all of that They would always be quiet when they would walk in the locker room They'd like he's just pretty all be quiet or we all lived in the same apartment If I didn't have my job on and they had a friend coming over and they'd like oh no you can't come in They'd like why my friend ain't covered yet and then you know, they'll let them in after I'm together So just to respect that you have for yourselves around you're not Muslim peers Even your Muslim peers set the example But I want to have my teammates come pray with me Can we pray with you and I and I was like or can I watch you and I'm like it's weird But yeah, just stay to the side And then there will be some of my teammates just wanted to feel something maybe like you can I pray with you? I'm like, yeah sure and I remember this we were in like What is that place called where you have all the arcade arcade games? It's huge I don't know if they have this here. Anyway, we were there. I had to go pray in the back room They left the games that they were playing to come pray with me and They booked and they're like, I don't know what you were saying But I felt something and I'm like, that's a lot in my head. I'm like shoot. That's a lot I don't know what it is But literally that happened what three and a half years ago. My teammate who prayed with me at that moment Messaged me randomly. We don't talk every day and she said Kisi I remember that day I prayed with you and she said that was the most piece I felt ever in my life And it was like spun a lot like you don't know how much you have an impact on people just being you So inshallah you all can take something from this what I want you to do when you leave is when you pray This goes for everybody. I still challenge myself is to pray and pray past Send an alarm for 10 minutes. Try to pray longer than 10 minutes Try to allow the alarm to go off before you finish praying Like allow you time allow yourself time to really give Allah's Time that he that he truly deserves So with that I will end