 Well, hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Asley of johnathanasley.com and I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today. Our topic, the five ways a high value woman tests a man. How do you test a man? Okay, we're gonna get to that in a second. Really quickly, if the content here resonates with you and you'd like some support and you need some help in the dating realm, check out the link to a free discovery call to see if working with a coach is right for you. That call is with me and that's only to work with me as your coach, not some program or anything. All right, those five ways a high value woman tests a man. Okay, so let's just first talk about really quickly, high value and I'm not a big fan of labels but I'll be candid with you. I have to do it to get you to click the button to watch this video. So that's the truth. Oftentimes a lot of the titles for many of us coaches are a little bit click baby and because we want you to click, right? So let me just say, high value is really someone who has leaned into their self love. They've leaned into their sovereignty. They know their self worth and they're leaning into it. And while we never reach it fully, we've certainly leaned into our self love. Most of you know who follow my work. I've written a book about self love called What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway by Jonathan Astley. There's a link below to check out my book, Self Love the Book. Why I'm sharing this with you is it's really a journey of personal development, self help and spiritual work. Now why this is so critically important is when you've leaned into your sovereignty, when you leaned into your self worth, your self esteem, self confidence, you're actually picking men from a much better place. And this is why you want to test men because the reality is, I've done this pie chart before but I've modified it. I want you to look at this little pie chart and you can see 10%, another 10% here, 30%, 30%, 10%, 10%. And the red 10% and 10%, I'm just gonna keep it up here. It represents those men who have real clinical issues. These are men who are most likely that first 10% and the 10% thereafter, whether they have narcissistic behavior, whether they have some other dysfunction. They are literally incapable of being in a healthy, happy relationship, certainly with a high value person, okay? So they're just incapable of it. And then as that pie chart starts to shift, hopefully there begins some healing work because most of the reason why they're in this category is they've had significant childhood wounds and traumas and they are literally stuck in their wounding. But as men begin to do work, they move out of that 10%, 10% and into the 30%. But these are men that you may struggle with dating. This is why you want to test them and I'm gonna teach you those five ways to test them in a moment. Because you really wanna start leaning into the men that are in this category. But I know you'd really like to date all the men in this category. These are the men who, that 10% and the next 10%. Those are men who know what they want. They're crystal clear. They show up as high value. Those are the coveted men. A lot of those men are already in relationship, okay? That's why this other 30% and 10% they have potential. So we wanna lean into these guys that have potential. That's why we have to test them, okay? And by the way, we lean into this. We don't lean back because leaning back doesn't work. It might work for those, look at some of those men that are in the 10% category, those coveted men, those great guys. Occasionally they pull away for like a nanosecond and if you pull away for a nanosecond, you guys will come back together. But that might work in those relationships where they're really fully bonded with each other. Ladies, most of the time, if you're watching these videos, you're dealing with dysfunctional men. This is why I highly recommend reading the book, Spiritual Partnership by Gary Zukoff. So you can get a better understanding of the type of relationship you want to lean into. So as I share these five things right now, I want you to stay to the end. You've gotta hear the fifth one because this is critical. Okay, the first way you're gonna test a guy is you're gonna check in to see, does he genuinely care about your feelings? Does he care and want to know how you feel? So many of you ladies are so afraid to speak your truth with a guy that you're afraid he's going to run away. And I'm like, if you're afraid to speak your truth, the best way to change that is to speak your truth, share your feelings and see how he reacts. Because if he runs away, he's not your guy. That's why again, going back to my book, What the Heck is Self-Love, chapter one, speak your truth, do it with kindness, okay? Second thing is, does he treat the relationship? Wait, what did I write here down? Oh, all right, and I've shared this in previous videos. In fact, my last few videos I've shared a little bit of this is he doesn't have to be right. When you have conflict in a relationship, is he, how you wanna test him is, is he morally focused on how he, his point of view? Or is he more focused on trying to resolve the query, the problem, the issue? He doesn't have to be right. And how you wanna test him is when there's conflict is to notice, if he's all about his point of view and doesn't accept your point of view, say goodbye to that guy. I mean, if you feel like it's not gonna be the right relationship, because the last thing you wanna be with someone who always has to be right, those guys are a fucking pain in the ass and you don't wanna be with them just like we men don't wanna be with women who always have to be right. Okay, the third way you test him is to see if he treats the relationship like a teamwork. Like you're part of a team with one another. Are you supporting each other's personal life? Are you supporting each other's professional life? Are you being a team with one another? You have to pay attention to see if he's being a team in this relationship because he's fees not, again, I'm saying audios. And the fourth way is at least, are you noticing is he progressing the relationship? This actually leans into the fifth one we're gonna talk about, but is this man progressing the relationship based on what's coming up next? And what's next is you setting your standard in relationship. What is it that you expect out of a committed relationship? You should be talking about what a committed relationship looks like to you before the penis ever gets to go inside the vagina. This is, I'm telling you, I'm telling, yes, I'm telling you because I do believe in your best interest be very upfront with what commitment looks like to you. That's your standard. And that's how you're going to notice if he wants what you want and he's progressing the relationship forward. Okay, do you got that? If this resonates with you, please post a comment below. I'd like to hear your thoughts, ask a question, ask a question. All right, I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do. First off, giving myself a big, gigantic Jonathan Bear hug of self-love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone or a pet and give them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and we can all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye-bye now.