 LUCKYS TASTE BETTER CLEANER, FRESH, OR SMOOTHER FOR LUCKY STRIKE MEANS LINE-TO-BACCLE, RITTERED TASTING LUCKYS TASTE BETTER CLEANER, FRESH, OR SMOOTHER LUCKY STRIKE, LUCKY STRIKE This is Don Wilson, friends. Of all the reasons a person has for smoking, one stands at the very head of the list. That reason is enjoyment. Why, certainly, you smoke for enjoyment. And what gives you enjoyment? Why, it's the taste of the cigarette. Yes, smoking enjoyment is all a matter of taste. And the fact of the matter is LUCKYS TASTE BETTER CLEANER, FRESH, OR SMOOTHER LUCKYS TASTE BETTER For two reasons that have really made cigarette history. First, they're made of fine tobacco. LS, MFT. LUCKY STRIKE MEANS fine tobacco. Fine, naturally mild, good tasting tobacco. Then, LUCKYS are made better. Made round and firm and fully packed to draw freely and smoke evenly. Yes, indeed. Made with fine tobacco, made better. Those are your reasons for always asking for LUCKYS. Those are the things that make LUCKYS taste better. So, be happy. Go lucky. Next time you're shopping, ask for a carton of LUCKY STRIKE. Be happy. Go lucky. Get better taste today. The LUCKY STRIKE program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston Rochester Dennis Day Bob Crosby and yours truly, Don Wilson. Ladies and gentlemen, Jack Benny and his cast are returning from their trip to New York. At the moment, they're in Mary's compartment aboard the super chief playing 20 questions. Now, let's see, Mary. We've used up 16 questions and we've found that you're thinking of something that's animal. He's very famous in show business and is over six feet tall. That's right. Oh, I know. Jimmy Stewart. No. Gary Cooper. Yep. We guessed that one. Now, let's see. It's your turn, Dennis. Okay. I got a good one. Is it animal, mineral or vegetable? It's animal, I think. I think? Yeah. Is a bird considered an animal? Certainly. Mary, this silly kid just gave himself away. Watch this. Tell me, Dennis, is it a bird? Uh-huh. You see, Mary? You see? Yeah. Dennis, is this bird extinct? No. Is this bird found in America? Yes. A sparrow? No. A robin? No. Wait a minute, Dennis, is this a very large bird? Uh-huh. An eagle? No. A buzzard? No. Look, Dennis. Wait a minute, John. Wait a minute, John. Hold it, hold it. I think I've got it. Dennis, does this bird go to a cappistrano quite frequently? Yes. Yes. It's a swallow? No. No? No. Does everybody give up? I do. Oh, I give up. Me too. What is it? Walter Pigeon. Walter Pigeon? Dennis, how can you say he's a bird? I read in the paper where he just flew to New York. All right, Dennis. You thought he was a bird because his name is Pigeon and he just flew to New York. But how can you say that he frequently goes to cappistrano? His mother lives there. Dennis, that's the silliest thing I ever heard. Jack, it's your turn now. I know, and I've got a good one. You'll never guess this one. Go ahead, all you smart guys. Start guessing. Okay, Jack. Is it animal, mineral, or vegetable? Animal. Is it alive? Yeah. A human being? Yes. Has it got a mustache? Yeah. Bald? Bald? Yeah. I got it. No, it couldn't be. Wait down. Who are you thinking of? My girl, but you don't know her. Oh, fine. Now come on. Come on, kids. Put on your thinking cap. Well, let's see. The man with the mustache. Is he in show business? Yes. Does he make pictures? Yeah. One of his pictures currently showing? Uh-huh. I know. He's Herman Quigley, the assistant cameraman on the Humphrey Bogart's new picture beat the devil. Gee, that's right. But how in the world did you ever guess Herman Quigley? It was obvious. What do you mean obvious? Yeah. Just before you went to New York, you ran into him at the Brown Derby. He'd forgotten his wallet. You loaned him a dollar and a half, and he's been on your mind ever since. Yeah. Gee, I hope he pays me back the money. Look, his watch doesn't even keep good time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I hope he pays me back the money. Look, his watch doesn't even keep good time. It's your turn, Don. Oh, you better skip me for a few minutes. I want to go back to my compartment and see if the porter took all the dishes out. Don, why is it whenever we're on a train, you're never eating the diner? You always have your meals served in your compartment. My wife makes me do that. Why? She doesn't want people to see what a pig I am. Well, hurry back, Don, so we can continue with the game. Okay. Hey, kids. Kids, I'm glad Don's gone. I've got a trick I want to play on him. Yeah, yeah. What is it? What is it? Well, you know Don. He's always thinking about lucky strikes. So when we play the game again and it's his turn, he's sure to pick luckies. And we'll make believe we can't guess it. What makes you so sure he'll pick lucky strikes? Because he never thinks of anything else. In fact, when he went on his honeymoon, he registered at the hotel as Don Wilson and cigarette. So remember, when he comes back, we'll trick him. Gee, Mr. Benny, do you think that's much fun? You mean tricking Don? No, going on a honeymoon with a cigarette. Oh, keep quiet. Hey, that's him. Now, don't forget, kids. Come in. Oh, it's Bob Crosby. Hi, Jack. Hello, Danny. Hello, Mary. Say, Bob, where have you been keeping yourself? Oh, I've been in the lounge with Bag B, Fletcher, and some of the other boys in the band who were playing a game called Two Questions. No, no, Bob, you mean 20 questions. No, two questions. Ginger ale or straight? Well, that I should have known. I haven't seen Bag B since he fell off at Kansas City. Coming or going. Oh, he fell off going, too? Well, at least Bag B got back on. Remly missed a train entirely in Chicago. Well, you can blame that on Jack's program. Blame it on my program. Yeah, they keep singing Be Happy Go Lucky, and Remly overdoes it. Well, look, Bob, whether he overdoes it or not, as soon as we arrive in Los Angeles, we're going right to the studio for rehearsal. And if he isn't there, I'm going to dock him two-week salary. Oh, you can't scare Rem with that kind of stuff. You know, he comes from a very wealthy family. Remly, I didn't know that. Why, certainly, his father made a fortune growing sweet potatoes. Sweet potatoes? He's got the biggest yam plantation in Texas. Ooh, what he said! He said yam! Say, Jack, I've been meaning to ask you, why have you got that black band on your arm? Well, tomorrow is March 15th, you know. Well, I better get back and check on the fellas. I'll see you all later. All right, song, Bob. Now, Dennis, while we're waiting for Don, how about letting us hear the song you're going to do on our next Sunday show? All right, but I'd like to dedicate the song to my girl. Your girl? Okay. What's the name of the song? How you fix for blades? Now, cut that out! And just do your song. Okay. An Englishman has manners. An Englishman has charm. They say it's truly difficult to raffle his aplomb. He'll hurt you and he'll kiss you, but wherever he may be. At four o'clock, he'll have to stop to sip a cup of tea. But an Irishman, an Irishman, will steal your heart away. He'll be devil you and be gay you with his hullabaloo ballet. When that rogue turns on the brogue, your heart will go astray. An Irishman, an Irishman, will steal your heart away. Italian men are fiery. Italian men are warm. And when they love, they love with all the fury of a storm. But you can turn the flame twice and make them run for life. For all you've got to do is eat a spaghetti with a knife. An Irishman, an Irishman, will steal your heart away. He'll be devil you and be gay you with his hullabaloo ballet. When that rogue turns on the brogue, your heart will go astray. An Irishman, an Irishman, will steal your heart away. A Frenchman is romantic. And the French have savoie faire. When he makes love to you, it's always toree, toree debonair. He'll say to you, tu es la moure, my life and you depends. But next day he'll be making love to two of your best friends. An Irishman, an Irishman, will steal your heart away. He'll be devil you and be gay you with his hullabaloo ballet. When that rogue turns on the brogue, your heart will go astray. An Irishman, an Irishman, will steal your heart away. The German man is steady. The German man is smart. For he'll come round and round again to win the proline's heart. But you can lose him easily and make him hide his face. When he comes round to see you, tell him, this is not the play. An Irishman, an Irishman, will steal your heart away. He'll be devil you and be gay you with his hullabaloo ballet. He'll be devil you and be gay you with his hullabaloo ballet. When that rogue turns on the brogue, your heart will go astray. An Irishman, an Irishman, will steal your heart away. Very good, Dennis. I know it'll be fine on the show Sunday. Oh, kids, that must be Don Wilson. Remember, remember the trick we're going to play on him. What is it again? Well, when it's his turn, he's sure to give us lucky strikes. So nobody guess it. Nobody guess that it's lucky strike. Come in. All right, kids, you're still playing 20 questions. Yes, Don, and you're just in time. It's your turn. Oh, good. I've already got something on my mind, so start guessing. Okay. Get this, Mary. Don, is this thing you're thinking of nearly three inches long, about a half an inch thick, and white in color? Yes, yes. Is it round and firm and fully packed? Yes, yes. Oh, it's amazing the way you people are guessing it. Isn't it, though? Is it free and easy on the draw? Yes, yes. Now, come on. Come on. Come on. You're getting warm. You're getting warm. An electric blanket. Gee, I thought it was an electric blanket, too. Didn't you, Mary? Yeah. Well, look, Don, is this thing you're thinking about associated with the letters L-S-M-F-T? Yes, yes, yes. That's it. Yes. Now, let's see. Gee, this is too hard. I give up. I do, too. Me, too. Well, for heaven's sake, kids, how can you possibly give up? And you're so close. Why, when you guessed it was almost three inches long white in color, I was sure you knew what it was. Well, we don't, Don. Do we, Mary? Come on, tell us. What is it? Oh, all right. It's a piece of chalk. A piece of chalk? Don Wilson, you were thinking of a lucky strike and you know it. No, I wasn't, Jack. Now, wait a minute. I'll admit that chalk is white and could be three inches long. I'll also admit that it's round and firm and fully packed. But how in the name of Dorothy Collins are the letters LSMFT associated with a piece of chalk? But they are, Jack. LSMFT stands for Lieberwitz Sanders McIntyre Finley and Title Bomb, the biggest chalk manufacturers in the world. You're not mad, are you, Jack? No, no, Don. No, I'm not mad. In fact, I've got to give you credit. You've got a lot of brains. But then it takes a lot to fill that big fat head of yours. Chalk maker. Oh, come on. Let's get on with the game. Whose turn is it now? Nobody's. I'm not playing anymore. I'm going to the club car and read for a while. See you later. Hmm. Largest chalk manufacturers in the world. Don just made that up. Lieberwitz Sanders McIntyre Finley and Title Bomb. That's almost as far-fetched as Baton Barton Durston and little old Osborn. Oh, well. Be happy. Go lucky. Be happy. Go lucky. Lucky strike today. Hey, we'll be in Albuquerque soon. See, that'll be a $126 worth of my ticket used up. Be happy. Go lucky. Be happy. See, I didn't think the club car was so... Whoops. Oh. Oh, pardon me, lady. By certainly. Say, aren't you Jack Benny? Aren't you? Yes. Yes, I am. I am. Mr. Benny, would you mind autographing this magazine for my granddaughter? Your granddaughter? I'll be glad to. There you are. Are you going to Los Angeles? Yes, I'm going to visit my son in Beverly Hills. Perhaps you know him. He's a competitor of yours. Oh, is he a comedian? No, he owns a laundry. Oh. He's an awfully good boy. He's having me come all the way out from Chicago just to celebrate my birthday. That's tomorrow. Oh, how nice. Happy birthday. How old will you be? 39. Oh, you're teasing me. Yes, I am. I'm really 72. Well, then why do you tell people you're 39? It gets laughs. Oh, oh, I see. Well, goodbye, and thanks for the autograph. You're welcome. Goodbye. That's my fountain pen. Oh, oh, I'm sorry. I'm terribly sorry. Here you are. Sorry. Gee, for an old lady she's got eyes like a hawk. Be happy. Go lucky. Be happy. Lucky strike today. Yeah, California's sure a nice place to live, Sam. Oh, oh, there's Rochester. He's in there talking to the porter. I'm going to stay here and listen to this. How long have you been working for Mr. Benny Rochester? 12 years, six months, and 14 weeks. Well, how come you know the time so exactly? My friend, when you're in Mr. Benny's employ, you don't get money. You'll get service strikes. Well, Rochester, if he ain't paying you much, why don't you leave him? Oh, I'd never leave Mr. Benny. He may have his faults, but deep down inside, he's the kindest man I know. Really? Yeah, I'll never forget the time I had pneumonia. I was so sick. For a full week, I had 105 fever. And all that time, Mr. Benny stayed right with me, had me, and nursed me. No kidding. And then at 2 o'clock one morning, I passed the crisis. My fever broke, and my temperature went down to normal. Mr. Benny looked at me, smiled and said, Rochester, you're going to be all right. Then he yanked me out of bed and shoved a broom in my hand. You know, Rochester, this isn't the first time Mr. Benny's been on one of my cars. I've made the trip with him across country several times. Man, it's murder. I know. Oh, I don't mind the fact that he don't tip much, but whenever he's aboard, the train's always 15 or 20 minutes late. Now, a couple of years ago, he insisted that the train make an unscheduled stop at Newton, Kansas. Then once he made a stop for a half an hour at Gallup, New Mexico. Once he set the Super Chief back a whole hour when he got off at Trinidad, Colorado. And this trip, I heard him tell the conductor to make another unscheduled stop. At Flagstaff, Arizona. Yeah, yeah. Has he got relatives in all those places? No, bank accounts. I wish he wouldn't discuss my private affairs. Rochester, I can't understand why Mr. Benny keeps saving his money like that. He's not married. He's got no family, no children. Who's he going to leave it to? What makes you think he's going to leave it? Rochester. Oh, oh, hello. Oh, oh, oh, yes. Rochester, I heard what you were saying. And if you don't behave yourself, you're not going to get that new gold stripe this year. I'll be up in the club car in case you want to see me. Yes, sir. She had a good time in New York. Looked up all my old friends, ate in those wonderful restaurants. My sponsor was so nice to me. I spent over 20 minutes in his office. He let me sit down this time. He's a nice guy. I'll be happy. Go lucky. Be happy. Lucky strike today. Oh, look at that cute little boy. Hello, little boy. Hello, Mr. What's your name? My name. Aren't you Jack Benny? Well, yes. Yes, I am. I recognized you from your television show. Really? Uh-huh. I saw that one with Liberace and it was great when you played your violin. Thanks very much. Thanks? I mean, you're thanking me for playing the violin? Yeah, the next day my mother let me stop taking lessons. Well, goodbye, little boy. Goodbye, Mr. Benny. And thanks again. You're welcome, you're welcome. Gee, the club car is crowded. Oh, there's a vacant seat next to that man over there. Excuse me, Mr. Do you mind if I sit here? No, no, no, no, no, no, not at all. Glad to have company. Well, thank you. Well, here's a late newspaper. I think... Sure is exciting out in the road. I'm traveling for Watson's Woolen underwear. Watson's Woolen underwear? Sure, you must have heard of us. We advertise on the radio, really. Watson's Woolen's Fit You Snug Keep You Warm as a Bug in a Rug One Flat Button instead of two Watson's Woolen's are the buy for you. Oh, yes, I... I know that program. It features Spade Cooley and his Itchy Seven. How's business? Not so good. It was even bad in Chicago last week. Chicago's always been a great underwear town. Windy City, you know. I know what you mean. Oh, are you an underwear too? Not today. It's a little warm. Have you been in the underwear business very long, Mr... In March. Mr. March, have you been in the underwear business very long? No, not just a few months. I used to travel for the firm of Lebowitz, Sanders, McIntyre, Finley and Tidalbottom. Oh, yes, the chalk manufacturer. Hey, you've been around. Oh, I've traveled quite a bit. Well, so long, Mr. March. So long. Enjoy talking to you and don't forget... Watson's Woolen's Fit You Snug Keep You Warm as a Bug in a Rug One Flat Button instead of two Watson's Woolen's are the buy for you. Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle. See, what an eager beaver. Well, I think I'll go to bed. We arrived in Los Angeles so early. Yeah, I no doubt about you. Sure have an interesting job, Sam. Hmm, Rochester's still talking to that porter. Yeah, you're right, Rochester. I've been across the continent over a hundred times. Guys, you must know every inch of it. Yeah, and America's an amazing country. It has Harlem on the East Coast, Central Avenue on the West Coast, and all that waste in between. That is the truth. Well, Sam, don't forget our date. The first Saturday night you're in Los Angeles, we'll go out with those two girlfriends of yours. Okay. First we'll have dinner, and then we'll take them to the Hollywood Bowl. But Rochester, this time of the year, there's nothing going on at the Hollywood Bowl. We'll change that. Oh, Rochester. Oh, yes, boss. I'm going to bed. Make sure that my luggage's already when I get off tomorrow. I will. Good night, boss. Good night. Oh, Mr. Benny. Yeah? Are you going to get off at Los Angeles or Pasadena? Pasadena. I always get a bigger reception there. Good night. Good night. Ladies and gentlemen, here's a reminder from the National Highway Safety Council. When driving, remember that courtesy is contagious. The careful driver always considers the careless driver. The golden rule applies to driving too. Drive as you would have the other fellow drive. And please remember, when you're in your car, be a wise driver, not a wise guy. Thank you. Jack will be back in just a minute. But first, do you remember the winner of last year's $25,000 Tamashana Golf Tournament, Lou Worsham? Here he is to get a word in wedge-wise. Hello, folks. The club that I have in my hand is a double-service wedge. You'll remember that I made one of the most lucrative shots that I have ever made with this club. During the Tamashana Tournament, I used this club at the last hole from 115 or 20 yards away and made one of the luckiest shots of my whole life. Other golfers might have chosen an eight or a nine iron to play this shot. To me, the wedge has been one of my favorites. On that day, that was a lucky choice. And when it comes to cigarettes, my choice, luckies, they taste better. Lou Worsham is right. Smoking enjoyment is all a matter of taste. And the fact of the matter is, luckies taste better. Because lucky strike means fine tobacco, and luckies are made better. So be happy, go lucky. Ask for a carton of Lucky Strike. Lucky's taste better. Cleaner, fresher, smoother. Lucky strike. Lucky strike. Well, Rochester, here we are home again. Yeah. Four weeks is a long time. Believe me, I got sick and tired eating at those restaurants. It's good being home. I'm a little hungry. How about a nice home-cooked meal? Okay, boss. I'll do it right now. Good. What are you going to fix me? Well, I'll fix you some veal cutlets with sour cream. A side dish of asparagus with sour cream. A nice baked potato with chives and sour cream. And for dessert, strawberries and sour cream. But, Rochester, why does everything have to have sour cream? When we left, I forgot to stop the milk. Well, go ahead and fix it. Good night, Paul. The Jagdini program is written by Sam Tarran, Joseph Berg, George Balzer, John Tackaberry, Hal Gordon, Hal Goldman, and produced and transcribed by Hilliard Marks. The Jagdini program is brought to you by Lucky Strike, product of the American Tobacco Company, America's leading manufacturer of cigarettes.