 The Kraft Foods Company presents the Great Gilder Sleeve. Hee hee hee hee hee! It's the Great Gilder Sleeve starring Harold Perry, brought to you by the Kraft Foods Company, makers of Marquay, Margarine, and a complete line of famous quality food products. Thanksgiving weekend. Each year at this season, the good citizens of Summerfield make a pilgrimage of some 30 miles to witness the annual football classic between State University and the Aggies. And in the whole of Summerfield, there is no one more determined to go this year than Gilder Sleeve's nephew, Leroy. For weeks, he has been hammering away at it. Hey, Uncle, if I do the dishes tonight, can I go home? Can I? How about it? Can I? No. No, Marjorie? Nobody asked you. Uncle Mort, if he goes to that game, I shall just die. Oh, why? Because Marshall's coming home for the weekend and he's taking me. And all Leroy wants to do is spy on us. Boy, that's a cheap thrill. Oh, don't let him go. You can't. You simply can't. No, my dear, I think that's for me to decide. That's telling her. I don't see why Leroy hasn't just as good a right to the go-to-the-game as you. You hear that? After all, I think you might consider his side of it too. Yeah, how about considering my side of it? You stay out of this. But Uncle Mort, this is my only weekend with Marshall since he went away to school. We want to be alone. Alone? They're going to look like everybody else in the stadium to get up and leave. 20,000 people. Leroy. I rest my case. Got it, Uncle Mort. I shall think it over. Oh, say yes, please. I'll pay you if you will. I'll give you all the money I've got in my bank. I'm not subject to bribery, my boy. I told you I shall think it over. Well, for cat's sake, how long do you have to... There are two sides to this question, my boy, because there are the most questions. Now, from Marshall's point of view, I can see why she wouldn't want to have you tagging along. Thank goodness. From your point of view, Leroy, I can see that this game means a great deal to you. More than anything in the world, I guess. Is that you, Wunk? Yes, yes. Well, the only thing I can see to do about it... Yeah? I hate to say this, but the only thing I can see to do about it is to take you myself. You mean you? Yes, my boy. Much as I dread it, I'll take you to the football game. I have news for you, just the same. They're completely sold out. Boy, I know exactly how you feel, but we have to learn to take these little disappointments and make the best of them, don't we? Gosh, if you didn't have to think it over so long, why have you gone and got on the boat? I did the best I could. After all, I'm just as disappointed as you are. It means that I can't go to the game either. Ha! You didn't want to go on the first place. That's not truly Leroy. I wanted to go very much. Yeah. But there's no use crying over spilt milk, is there? There'll be other games. Some other time, perhaps, eh? I want you to believe that I tried, my boy, why I even asked Judge Hooker to use his influence. Not that I'd give two cents for all the influence he's got. I should have known. I should have known I'd never get there. Let's not give up hope, my boy. After all, they're still Judge Hooker. Yeah. Well, you're probably right. Boy, this is the first time I've ever offered to take you to a football game. Well, it happened, isn't it? Now, Leroy, you're just tired. Why don't you go up and get ready for bed, and let Bertie bring his supper to you up there? I don't want any supper. Well, later, maybe you will. You run along and I'll be up. Nice potato? Nice potatoes and gravy. Stop, Gilday, I just came by. Leroy, I didn't see you standing back there. I waited dinner. I'm taking Leroy to a movie afterward. Oh, so that's why she was busy tonight. You didn't tell me you were going out tonight with the Judge, Leroy? I don't tell everything on them. I sort of cut you out there, didn't I, Gilday? Old goat. Careful, my dear, careful. Oh, my dear. Hello, Mrs. Ransom. I hope I didn't hurt you. Oh, good evening, Judge. Oh, don't you look pretty. Thank you. Such pink cheeks. And natural, too. I'll bet you're excited that Marshal Bullard don't. Oh, he's been home for two days. Uncle, is it all right if we go skating after supper? After supper? It's perfectly safe. There's a big moon out. I don't know that that makes it safe. Oh, skating in the moonlight. How I'd love to be out there with y'all. Well, why don't we? We could all make a... Let's do that now. Leela and I have a date. Oh, yes, that. Well, how about tomorrow, then? But tomorrow's Saturday, Uncle Moore. Marshal and I are going to the game. Oh, yeah. I'll tell him it's all right about going skating tonight, then. Well, now, wait a minute. I did... Well, all right. Thanks, Uncle. You're a dear. Yes, yes. Oh, to be 16 again instead of pushing 30. Ball games skating in the moonlight. I used to love football games. We used to drive up to Atlanta when Georgia played. Georgia Tech. It was such fun. The girls looked all so pretty and the men were all so handsome. Yeah. Yeah. There'd be parties at all the fraternity houses after the game and the dines at the big hotel there in the evening and driving back by moonlight. I think it's time we were getting along. Oh, yes, I suppose it is. Oh, that reminds me, Gilday. I almost forgot what I stopped here for. I got you that pair of football tickets you asked for. You got them? Just leave it to old Judge Hooker. There they are. Well, that's fine. Are they any good? Are they any good? What a right smack on the goal line. I don't know whether to thank you or not. But thanks anyway. Oh, Shrockmont, don't tell me you got tickets for tomorrow's game. Huh? And never even told me about it, aren't you wonderful? My point out it was I who got the tickets. Oh, but it's the thought that counts. Yes, but Leela, you... Oh, I think surprises are such fun, don't you? Now here I wasn't looking forward to a thing tomorrow except washing my hair and now all of a sudden everything's wonderful. But Leela... Imagine me carrying on about how I love football games and all the time you knew. Shrockmont, you devil you. Leela, you don't understand. Don't understand what? Well, I wasn't exactly planning to... You mean you were planning to take some other girl? No, no, of course not. Gosh, I'd rather take you than anybody. I would have asked you too, Leela, only... I didn't think of it until yesterday, and I suppose by this time you'd... Well, the last time I saw you you bawled me out for always inviting you places at the last minute. Shrockmont, honey, it's time you learned never to pay a single bit of attention to anything I say, ever. Leela, I don't like to hurry you, but it's time that we were getting downtown. Oh, yes, we must be going. Yeah, but we've got to be going, Gildy. I have a reservation for dinner. You don't need a reservation at Joe's place. We're not going to Joe's place. Come on, Leela, for heaven's sake, let's get started. But we haven't settled this. What am I gonna tell her when she calls? You can see that I didn't. You do look a little so-so. Where'd you just sit out and I'll bring you a knife? Phone. I'll get it. Where's your sister, Leroy? She ate her breakfast and scrammed. You mean they've started for the football game already? I suppose so. Lucky bums. Please, resident. Who? I'm afraid I know what this is. Joe's leave about the game. Huh? I'm just going to see if she can hold the wire a minute, Bertie. Hmm. He said could you hold the wire a minute please? He'll be right here. Leroy, I want to have a talk with you, my boy. Okay, shoot. Swallow that toast and listen. My boy, if by any chance I should be able to get tickets for the game today. Mind you, I don't say I can, but if by any chance I should... Yeah? And if it turned out that it wouldn't be convenient for me to take you... What? You promised! I know, and I'd make it up to you, Leroy, some way. I don't like breaking promises, but if you'd let me off just this once, how about it? Leroy, please, just this once. Come on, I have to think it over. I'll make it up to you, my boy, I'll do anything you say. How about it? Please, she's waiting. Leroy, stop eating that toast and answer me. I'm sorry, my boy, but I told you I'll do anything if you let me off. Well, it'd be a pretty good game. I'd sure like to see it. Anything, Leroy, anything at all? Anything? Anything. Okay. You'll never regret this, my boy. You'll never regret it. I only hope I won't. Kid himself. Boy, oh boy, big, have I got to look where I want him. What a character! Gildersleeve will be back in just a moment. After a friendly game of bridge the other night, we all dropped into the kitchen to kibitz a bit while Mrs. Lang was preparing some sandwiches. And as she was spreading the bread with parquet, one of the guests said to me... So that's the parquet marjoram. I hear you talking about John on the Gildersleeve show. That's the genuine article, the one and only parquet marjoram. Well, if it's as good as you say it is, I... Well, the best way to find out is to taste it right now. Oh, here we are. The first sandwiches are ready. Thank you. Now, there's flavor for you. Flavor that's fresh and sweet. Am I right? Oh, it's delicious. It's the fine wholesome farm products that make parquet taste so good. And you know, friends, you'll have the same satisfying taste experience the very first time you spread parquet marjoram on bread, toast, rolls, pancakes, and waffles. I'm sure you'll agree with the millions who prefer parquet marjoram that it's still unmatched for flavor. And it costs so little to enjoy parquet. Only about half the price of costly spreads. That's P-A-R-K-A-Y, parquet marjoram, made by the Kraft Foods Company. Now, let's get back to the great Gildersleeve. With a blonde on one arm, a buffalo robe over the other, and a brand new bucket hat perched on his head, Gildersleeve looks the complete American college boy, 20 years out of college. We join him now as he and Lila Ransom stole past the State University campus for the stadium where the big game is soon to begin. We having fun, Frock Martin. Yeah, you bet. You know something, walking around a college town like this makes me feel like I'm 18 again. Oh, you look 18, Lila, and I'll tell you something else. I don't feel a day over 22. Let's skip, I dare you. Oh, it's Rock Martin with all these boys and girls going by. What do we care? Come on, let's skip. Yeah, well, I'll be in Marshall Bullet, you! Well, Mrs. Ransom, you remember Marshall, don't you? Indeed I do. It's nice that you could come home for the holiday, Marshall. Thanks. How are you, Mrs. Ransom? Mr. Gildersleeve? Just fine, my boy. Uncle, where did you get that bucket hat? This hat? Well, I got it at the Summerfield Men's Targaryen. What's the matter with it? Oh, nothing. It just looks kind of collegiate. That's not what the college men are wearing this year, Mr. Gildersleeve. That's immaterial to me, son. I needed a hat in case of rain. Well, I think he looks very cute in it, although if you pulled it a little farther forward. Like this? It was better the other way. It's nuts. Marshall, I do believe you've grown just in the few months you've been away. You've put on 15 pounds, been playing a little football. Speaking of football, shouldn't we be... You seem to be in such a hurry, Throckmont. Why don't we all go somewhere and have a bite to eat? Well, Marjorie and I are going over to the Beta Newhouse for lunch. That's my father's fraternity. You kids go on and have lunch. Maybe we'll see you at the gate. Look for us, Unkie. Marshall got seats right on the 50-yard line. The 50? Well, we're not far from there. See you later. Goodbye. Goodbye. I wish we didn't have to sit way down by the goal line, Throckmont. Well, I'll see what I can do. But it's pretty late. I wonder how that bullet kid got seats on the 50. I suppose he got them through his father. Yeah, I suppose so. By George, I'll go to the box office and tell him who I am. Don't worry, Leela. We'll wind up with the best seats in the place. I'd like to exchange these seats, please. They're in the section 32. I'd like something on the 50-yard line. Ha, ha, ha. Yeah, it's very funny. Perhaps you didn't understand me. I want to exchange these tickets for a pair on the 50-yard line. Oh, run along, buddy. Nothing going. Wait a minute. Just so happens, I'm a public official. I'm the water commissioner down in Summerfield. Water? I hear it's good to wash in. Don't get smart. Are you going to sell me tickets or not? If we've been sold out since the 10th of September, now beat it. Then why are you open? For next year. What? Wise guy ought to report it. Why don't you look where you're going? Say, buddy, you really want 250, like you said? I sure do. Have you got two? Shhh. That's a lot. 50-yard line, 35th row. And seeing it's so late, huh? Well, I'll let you have them for 20 bucks a piece. Why that? That's rob rate. 20 bucks a piece? Pardon me, mister. I thought you were a big shot. Oh, I am. Here. Give me the tickets. Being a big shot is kind of expensive. Those uniforms. Welcome, Aggies. Pretty clever. Trock Ma, not we having fun. You bet. Why don't the teams quit practicing? They've been practicing all season. Let's start the game. Oh, let me see the program for a minute, Trock Ma. Ma, look at this picture of the state captain. Isn't he handsome? Tom Lingenfeller. Certainly looks dumb. Oh, but look at those shoulders. Ma. Probably wearing shoulder pads. I'll tell you something else. A lot of these football players aren't as strong as they look. The Army had to reject the whole flock of them. I suppose so. But of course a girl looks at these things a little differently from the Army. Oh, awesome. Marshall where? Down there. Just two rows in front of us. You say that he's got his arm around Marjorie. Hey there, what do you think you're doing? I'm watching you. And don't grin at me like that. Oh, for heaven's sakes, Trock Ma. What home is then the boy putting his arm around in a public place like this? Don't tell me it feels just the same in public as it does anyplace else. Does it really? You know darn well it does. Mercy, how would I know? They're going to try a pass. Formation. When one fella stands back like that, if they shoot a pass though, if they keep punting all afternoon, I don't know how they expect to score. Is it still nothing or nothing? Certainly. There they go. Oh, and in line. Out them deadness tracks. That fella couldn't run around a mailbox. What's that whistle call, sir? Just stalling for time. Come on, quit stalling down there and play football. Look at the track, Ma. Let them look. They're not stalling, mister. Al Stample broke his leg in that last play. Oh. Oh, isn't that awful? Look, they're carrying him off. Stample must have been in bad condition. I told you these football players weren't so husky. With every time you start to hold my hand, Marshal Bullard turns around and laughs at me. Oh, he does, eh? That young smart aleck. Yeah, that's Trock Ma. And he's just a child. Although I must say he seems much better looking than when he went away. Don't you think he... I'm watching the game, Leela. Second and ten. Maybe they'll try a pass this time. I couldn't see a thing on that play. When everybody falls down, it's a line play. He gained about a foot. Well, he tried anyhow. That's what counts. Never make a touchdown that way, Leela. Now I suppose they'll kick again. Go, kick the ball back and forth. After you, my dear Alphonse. After you, my dear Gaston. Why, George, we don't get some action pretty soon. We log it down and complain at the box office. All afternoon they've been playing and nobody's even... You hear your uncle think... They've only tried about three and none completed. Just a suggestion. Tourist. I paid for my seat, didn't I? I should think that would entitle me to make one. Don't think such a thing when... I've been here this afternoon. Oh, Trock, one of my gloves just now. Do you see it anywhere? Glove? No. Must be down under the seat. Oh, would you mind looking down there for it? My hands are cold. Well, if your hands are cold. Later, darling. But find the glove now for me like a sweet boy. Peanut shells down here. Chewing gum. Why don't we give up and go home? I must say, I thought you were more of a sport. Well, I'm not a sport. Come on, let's get out of here. Pardon me. Pardon me. What's the matter, Mr. No School? Don't speak of it, Bertie. Don't speak of it. Well, it's too bad it had to rain. Maybe a little supple will make you feel better. I didn't even feel like eating. I had a couple of sandwiches half an hour ago. Well, I'll dish it up anyway. How could that do? What name are you talking about, young man? The State Aggies Game. No one used it. How do they do it? What is it? Take me to the State Game next Saturday. Oh, Lero! We'll be dropping in at Peevee's Drug Store in just a few moments. How are you getting along with your food budget these days? Are your meals pretty expensive? Well, maybe I can give you a little help. There's a very important food you serve at every meal that certainly shouldn't be expensive. And that's the spread you serve with bread, toast, and rolls. Of course, the spread I have in mind is delicious parquet margarine, preferred by millions of families throughout America, because it tastes so good. And as for economy, well, it's plain as the price tag in your dealer's store that parquet is only about half the price of costly spreads. And parquet margarine is so nourishing, too. It's one of the finest of all energy foods, and it's fortified with important vitamin A. So for a real value in a quality food that's still unmatched for flavor, it's made by Parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y, parquet margarine, made by Kraft. What do you find of football? Football, Mr. Gavisby. Yes, do you like the game? You mean do I like to play it? No, no. Do you like to watch it? Are you a fan? Mr. Gavisby, I'll tell you how it is about me and football. When I was a young fellow, I lived in Worcester, Massachusetts, one year. That fall, I took it into my head to go to the Harvard you have game down Cambridge. Is all this necessary? Well, you asked me a question. I didn't realize you'd have to answer it by the way of Worcester, Massachusetts. Well, if you don't want me to tell you... No, go ahead, PB. You would never give a straight answer to a question anyway. Well, no, I wouldn't say that. Go ahead. Well, I've lost the thread now. Why did you want to know if I like football in the first place? Well, I thought if you did, you might enjoy taking Leroy to the state game next Saturday if I could get the tickets. Yeah, sure, that's it. Mr. Gavisby, I am fond of football, but I'm not that fond of it. I might have known you'd be of no use to me. Good night, PB. Good night, everybody. This is John Lang speaking for the Kraft Foods Company, and inviting you to listen in again next week for the further adventures of The Great Yielders League. Another fine Kraft food product you'll want to add to your shopping list is Kraft salad mustard. This creamy golden Kraft salad mustard puts an extra tempting tang into relishes and sandwich spreads. Peps up the flavor of deviled eggs, adds extra zest to cheese and meat dishes. And if you like an extra tingle of sharpness, there's another delicious variety in the Kraft line. It's the Kraft mustard with nippy horseradish added. Buy both kinds and please the whole family. Ask for Kraft Mustards when you shop tomorrow. This is the National Broadcasting Company.