 Yeah, we will get started. Let's just pray, yeah. Father, we just want to thank you, Lord, for this day. We thank you for this time. Or even as we come before you, Master, we pray that you would write your word upon our hearts. Lord, we pray that you would quicken our hearts, Lord, quicken your word to our hearts, Lord. We pray that there will be a line upon line, precept upon precept. We pray that there will be a time of edification in the inner man. And yes, Lord, I just pray that it will be a time of empowerment and a release into all that you have for us, Lord. We thank you. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen. Amen. Okay. You know, one of the things that we see in Daniel chapter 2, Daniel chapter 2, well, it's after Daniel reveals the secret, and God reveals the secret to Daniel about the king's dream. And this is what Daniel actually praises God. And he says that, Blessed be the name of a God forever and ever, for wisdom and might are His. We are reading verse 20, chapter 2. Now, wisdom and might are His. And He changes the times and the seasons. So just declaring the omnipotence of God. He declaring the omniscience of God says, the wisdom and might are His. He changes the times and the seasons. He removes kings and raises up kings. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to those who have understanding. He reveals deep and secret things. He knows what is in the darkness and light dwells with Him. Okay. So just declaring the attributes of God, which is really wonderful, right? He's saying that God, you know, this is who you are. Wisdom and might are yours. You change times and seasons, you know. So something that is not, that we can attribute only to God. So when it comes to wisdom, when it comes to might, we can say, okay, man is mighty to some extent, nothing compared to God. Man has wisdom, nothing compared to God. But, you know, he's talking about change in times and seasons, which are only in God's eyes, which are only in God's hands. And we look at the politically landscape, what is happening in a nation. And sometimes we think, God, we get so frustrated. Rod, you know, what is happening? What is happening around why? And like the psalms, you know, why are the righteous, why are the unrighteous prospering? You might cry out, but the fact is that God is sovereign, right? It is not outside of His control. It's not outside of His ability, right? Well, in our finiteness, we think, we see things and we see that, okay, things are really going haywire. Then God is a God who is in control. He is who He is. Wisdom and might are His. Times and seasons are in His hands and He changes it, right? Praise God, we have such an amazing, awesome God, right? So today we, as we look at life skills, we are in chapter eight, right? We looked at evaluation, we looked at people, organizing people. And we were looking at several things when it comes to organizing people about motivating, right from understanding how people are important for our success. No one, none of us can do things on our own. We can go a certain distance. We can have a certain level of success on our own. But ultimately, especially when it comes to ministry, we see that it is for people. It is about people and it involves people, right? And the greatest thing is that when we look at God Himself, right? The Lord is so gracious, gracious enough to involve us in His plans and purposes. Just think about it. You know, involve us in this whole work of redemption, right? When we study about the Holy Spirit, we see that the Holy Spirit is the one who conveys, the Holy Spirit is the one who brings transformation, the Holy Spirit is the one, you know, and the Word of God bringing about new birth and all that. Yet He involves us, He invites us to participate with Him in this grand scheme of redemption. And in that, we find our plan, our purpose, our joy, our contentment, right? So the Lord involves us, okay? So also, you know, the work of ministry, the work of whatever we are, it involves people, okay? And so involving people, working with people, we need to have those skills. Like we studied, these are some things, our natural abilities people might have, but we need to, if not, if you don't have those abilities, we feel that, okay, we are falling short in this, right? Then we need to definitely improve those skills. And it comes by recognizing what is it that I need to build on? What is it that I'm ignorant of, that I need more information on? And stepping out and utilizing that, okay? So we looked at organizing, we looked at vision and delegating tasks, how to do that, what not to do, right? And when it comes to inspiring people, people are not machines. People do get discouraged, people do get distracted, people do get out of focus. And a lot of things happening in their lives, right? People are emotional beings and so on. So there is this role of, when it comes to people's skills, there is this role of inspiring and motivating. Like understanding that, yes, people are not there fully there emotionally. People are not fully there. There's something happening that requires our intervention. So there's a need. Sometimes we need to inspire and motivate despite the way, whatever we are going through, right? We need to kind of set that aside and say, okay, this is what we are going after as a team, as a ministry. So we need to actually step in and motivate and inspire and so on. We also saw that we needed to evaluate and appraise or assess and see how people are doing their work, okay? And so when we assess, it is for the benefit of the organization or the ministry or for the effectiveness of the task, right? Whatever task we are, unless we evaluate from our timely evaluation of frequent evaluation, we will not be able to reach that point, reach that destiny or we will not, we will not know, okay, is there effectiveness? Is there cost correction? Do we need to change things, do things differently? We will not know that unless we evaluate assess, okay? And with evaluation comes feedback or you're reviewing things and you're sharing saying this could be better or this is great. Please continue on what we are doing, right? So evaluation. So evaluation also important, also an important skill because truth needs to be spoken with love, right? So that's again an important skill, right? Because your whole system, emotions, everything might be screaming, might want to scream at the other person, but we need to calm down and give a very objective feedback, right? So it also involves sharing of feedback, involves managing our own selves, our own emotions. Then we started with the last part which is letting go, which means that there are several reasons why we might have to let go of people, whether in our own teams, whether in our organizations, we might have to let go of people, okay? So what is the reason? The reason being that maybe the scope of their ministry, the scope of their task is much bigger than what you can accommodate or what you can offer in the team or the organization, right? So you sense that, okay, their scope, they're called for something bigger, they're called for something greater and in the season where you are or the season where the church is, where the ministry is, you cannot, it's time to let go so that they can go on to fulfill the call of God, purpose of God, right? We also let go when there is, when we assess and see that there is no fruitfulness, okay? Obviously, it doesn't mean that the first time when we see, there's no productivity, right? But we just say, okay, bye, this is the end of it, let's shake hands, let's part as friends. No, we don't do that then, right? There is a, there is time given, there is feedback given, time for change and you know, we could, we could follow this pre-strike policy, meaning that you give at least two warnings with the warning, you come with feedback and say, okay, next time this happens, you know, we will not be able to, we will not be able to, you know, so this is a strong thing, right? There's a strong action that will be taken. So why is there a fall of productivity? You know, we need to understand that. Is it because of ability, lack of ability, right? Then they can be training, they can be learning, right? Is it lack of ability? Is it lack of, lack of rules, right? Again, goes with the equipping. It can be provided or, like we saw last time, is it lack of, or is it lack of attitude, right? Is it an issue of ability or is it an issue of attitude? If it's an issue of attitude, then it's going to be a lot difficult, right? Learning, we can always train a person equipping, we can always equip a person, the person is teachable, but if it's a question of attitude saying, this is all I have to give, I cannot go any further, I will not rather, right? Then it becomes a problem. So then definitely, you know, there needs to be a conversation and say, okay, this is the timeframe and maybe we'll give you all the support, we'll give you all the help that you need, but things need to change, okay? And when it does not change, when it continues, it should not come as a surprise for the person that the person is asked to go, right? You've given enough time, you've given enough, enough warnings, right, about the consequence. You've told them, this will be the consequence, right? And you've shared that and maybe it's a good idea to share it in writing, right? And not just leave it in words, maybe the first time you can have a conversation and say, you know, this is something serious, something that's affecting the team, affecting the organization and it needs to change, right? So we give it and also follow it up, maybe through an email or a letter so that the person has a record, you have a record, the person also has a record, but if things don't change, then obviously it has, the person needs to be, needs to let go. So letting go, we can do it with grace, okay? I remember in an organization where I worked in a sales organization, this letting go was always in a very, very bad taste. It was always done in a very bad taste. There's a lot of hurtful words exchanged. The boss really, you know, spewing venom, right? On the first day and then saying, okay, this is what a terrible thing. And all that and then it was done, right? And in most cases it was, there was no relieving letter, there was no, you know, letter of appreciation, nothing. So it was just, the person was just, you know, it didn't even have to be that, it should not be that. It can be with grace, it can be, honor the person, do it with dignity, you know, don't destroy the dignity of the person, don't destroy the person, but you know, just come to their understanding, hey, it's not working out the way, either with a skill, either with attitude, it's not working out, maybe the person can actually do with the same level and everything, you know, maybe the person can do a good job elsewhere, but there in that organization, understand that you are a steward at the end of the day, right? Steward of the resources, right? Steward for fruit. The Bible talks about in John chapter 16, right? John chapter 15 where the Lord says that He's looking for fruit and where there is fruit, there is pruning so that it can be even more fruitful. So the Lord Himself is looking for fruit because He has made Himself available, He's given Himself for us, He's given the resources, the Word, the Spirit of God and everything, so there's nothing lacking, right? He's made Himself available and so with all that, John 15, right? He's saying on the wine, you are the branches and He's looking for fruit, right? So it's after all that that He's looking for fruit, we need to understand. It's not that, you know, alienating, you fend for yourself, I will still look for fruit. No, He's given all that identity, connection, fellowship, support and looking for fruit. So looking for fruit is not you know, sometimes we think it's a worldly thing. How can you say that? All the corporates are doing that, hiring, putting pressure, firing, you know, when targets are not met, right? But know that it's a biblical thing but it's done in a very graceful manner, right? Where the Lord is looking for fruit and it's with connection, it's with fellowship and it's with the Zoe God kind of life flowing in and through us and the Lord looks for fruit. So which means that when we, you know, have we given all and have we given enough support, have we given enough guidance for this person? Have we skilled them? Have we, you know, equipped them? Have we given them the right tools? All those questions, you know, we need to ask and our conscious needs to be clear, right? So we are doing the right thing. I'm accountable at the end of the day. I'm answerable. So, you know, you let go, release the person. Okay. Any questions? So it's not, it's not well, it's not the enjoyable thing, right? It's the other day I was talking to, like, working, I mean, it was CEO, not CEO, I think it was the vice president. So saying how we had to shut down an entire division, like it was a downturn in economy, you know, you have to shut down, you have to release so many people, hundreds, but you have to do it. Because the company had decided and, you know, so it's a very tough, tough decision. It's not the most enjoyable of things. But yeah, so that's something that we need to do in it. And it comes within that whole thing of people's skills, like people management and people's skills. Okay. Okay, if there are no questions, we'll go on to chapter nine. Okay, chapter nine, which deals with conflict resolution. Okay, another big one. So conflicts, okay, so when you say conflicts or interpersonal conflict, it normally starts as a conflict, when you look at the word conflict, it means a violent, something violent, something like a struggle, a battle, conflict, armed conflict, you use all those words, right? But when we see, you know, maybe they don't see eye to eye, and that's how it starts, or it could be a misunderstanding, right? So, and from there, it grows, it escalates into something that we would call as a conflict, where there is a lot of stress, there is a lot of animosity sometimes, the communication breaks down at times where, you know, there's no communication, like people are not communicating with each other, they're working together, or they're supposed to be, but there's no communication, there's like a cold war, right? We know it happens in families, people say, you know, I've not spoken to my brother, or I've not spoken to my siblings in years, are you shocked? Why? Yeah, because of, you know, we had a major conflict, major disagreement, there was a war of words, there's a lot of, sometimes it becomes a physical act, there's violent act, and then it becomes a conflict, right? So conflict can be just a cold war, there's nothing, no exchange of words, but also it can be the opposite of that, it can be a lot of exchange, a lot of exchange of words, blame, right? It's a conflict. Now, resolution of conflict also is a skill that we need to, we need to learn, it's something that we need to, if we don't have, we need to develop because it helps the teams, it helps the organizations, and if there is conflict, the outcome of a conflict will actually undermine the progress of the organization or the team, that's for sure. Now, we cannot say that, okay, with the ongoing conflict, we'll still be 100% effective and so on, one day it'll just give way, right? So it actually lowers the effectiveness of teams, because the person is constantly thinking, how can I get back at this person, for what he said, what she said, what he did, what she did, right? So we need to work at resolving conflicts. So now, when we think of conflicts, our main thing is, maybe some, you know, we are built in such a way that we want to avoid conflicts, because it's not a comfortable thing, right? So we just want to avoid it at all costs, we pretend sometimes it's not there, right? But then we need to be able to confront conflicts. What does confront mean? You know, you face it head on, even though, you know, it's not the most pleasant of situations, we need to be able to face it and address it, so that it doesn't, it's addressed, it's rooted out, right? Okay, looking at three main types of conflicts, one is personal or relational conflict. So, you know, they say it's mainly about identity, self-image or pride, okay, or it could be a breakdown of loyalty, right, betrayal, so personal at a personal level or relational conflict. And so it's labeled as personal or relational conflict. The second one is instrumental conflict, which means it's about goals, it's about processes, it's about procedures, okay, so it normally happens when there's a team, when there's a set of guidelines, when there's a set of rules, rules are not being followed by maybe a person or a group of people, then there's conflict, right? So these are instrumental conflicts, okay. The third one is a conflict of interest, which means that, you know, when it's about achieving certain goals or when it's about priorities and so on, so when there is a disagreement, when we call it a conflict of interest, okay, how should resources be spent, how should time be spent, how should the organization staff, what should they do, what should they not do, you know, there's a conflict of interest, right, okay. So let's look at how can we, are there some strategies for dealing with conflict? No, it's good to understand that, okay, I can use some of these things in conflicts so that I can resolve it, okay. So the first one is either you compete or fight, you know, compete or, you know, you get involved in it, okay. So in this, there is a very, it's a competitive thing, it's a, it's a, you're drawn into a fight and usually it's win, lose. In a sense, one person wins, the other person loses, okay, and which means the, you know, the strength of the power and strength and ability of the one person overrides and, you know, it, does it have a place? Well, yes, you know, when there's something which is totally unrighteous and you know that, you know, you're doing the right thing, it's a question of integrity and so on, you know, where you go ahead and, you know, you need to, maybe your time is in short supply and you need to do it, right. But the thing is, we need to understand that the one person who has lost is still in the relationship, okay, and then something needs to be done to address that because the person who's lost is hurt, the person who's lost is, you know, it's still there, maybe you're just facing, you're still, you know, talking to that person, so something needs to be, we cannot pretend that, well, everything is okay. I won, you've lost, everything is fine, you know, there needs to be something to mend that relationship, okay. It will definitely result in hurt of emotions, so if something can be done to mend that relationship, that'll be, that'll be good, the second one is a collaboration. So what does it mean to collaborate? It means to work with, work alongside, work through something. Now, this is the ideal thing, right, it will always result in a win-win kind of a situation, but it needs a lot of time from both those parties, right, both who are involved in a conflict, it requires a lot of time to work through those difficulties and it could be very intense, it could be emotionally draining, physically draining, right, you're talking about things, you're addressing issues and, you know, a lot of things are dug up and, but if one can choose, if both the parties can choose and say, okay, well, let's work through it, let's collaborate, okay, then it results, it's a best possible way to resolve a conflict collaboration. The third one is compromise or negotiation, where both the parties or maybe one party, they take a step down and say, okay, I'll compromise, okay, I don't want to, you know, it'll be like most likely like a draw, right, so both parties are not getting what they wanted, but they're settling for something less, right, so it's not the most ideal of things, but then it's fine, so in this case, there could be a sense of dissatisfaction, right, we have given up something, we have met midway, maybe that's not the best thing, that's not what we really wanted, but then we've compromised and then, okay, you know, something that's not jeopardized the relationship, working relationship and you've kind of compromised on it, okay, so in this case, what happens is, you know, when you're compromised and you want to now move and work towards what we decided on, they may be less buy-in to that, right, there could be less satisfaction, there could be dissatisfaction, people are saying, okay, oh, this is not what we wanted, why are we, you know, why are we even putting our energy into it, you know, so people need to come to terms with that and work, so that is the fallout of a compromise or a negation, right, then some of the extreme cases, denial, we forget that, okay, conflict, what, there's no conflict, I'm fine, you're fine, you know, deny the whole thing, deny the problem and pretend that there's no problem, well, this is, this is okay for a time being, right, this is okay for a time being so that the situation can be diffused, right, but understand that it'll come back again, this issue will come back again, it's not, it's a very uneasy calm, right, it's a very uneasy kind of a peace, understand that it'll come back again, maybe it was the situation was diffused, it was getting to be very bad, so maybe it was avoided, but that doesn't mean that it won't come back, it will resurface, it will come back, then lastly, smoothing over the problem, okay, so smoothing over the problem is like people are saying, okay, it's fine, it's fine, let's move on, like, you know, typically it's like, maybe it's, you know, in the family or on a marriage, the husband and wife are saying, okay, you know, at least for the sake of the children, we need to, you know, just move on, right, we don't address the issue, not address the problem, but, you know, for the sake of the children, for the sake of, you know, what do people say, you know, for the sake of the family, for the sake of our parents and in-laws, you know, let's just maintain a sense of calm and let's go on, so the problem is here is not addressed, the issue is not addressed, it's kind of smoothing over the problem, again, you know, it again needs to be, it's something that needs to be resolved, like, there is conflict, okay, so these, if you put that in a grid, right, this is what we see, right, if there's a concern for self, concern for others, on the x-axis we have concern for others, y-axis concern for self, right, and if you see that, if the concern for others is high, if the concern for self is also high, then it results in a collaboration, right, so we are willing to put in that time and effort because I want the best for you, I want the best for me as well, right, so we're willing to talk through, work through things, if the concern for self and the concern for others is low, very low, there's usually just a denial, okay, and so on, you know, we see that grid, so this is something that's useful for us to understand, you know, it's a lot of theory, it's just theory, but then it's good to understand that, okay, if the concern for self is high and the concern for others is low, then we will fight, right, it's a survival, I, me, myself, I need to get it at whatever cost, it doesn't matter if the other person is hurt, if the other person is, you know, feeling bad doesn't matter, right, we resolve it in that manner and so on, okay, right, okay, so some skills for handling conflict, okay, firstly, the important thing is assertiveness to be assertive and without aggressive behavior, right, to assert, which means to say that, hey, this is, this is a situation, this is what it is, and to be able to articulate it or express our views clearly, firmly, objectively, without aggression, you know, aggression involves a lot of emotion, right, we're feeling, we're giving vent to our emotion, so can we be assertive, can we talk clearly, can we talk, you know, objectively state the facts without blaming the person and to help that is this kind of a, you know, statement, like saying, when you said this, this is how I felt or when you said this, when you did this, it made me feel, when you did this, you know, so it made me feel, so when you said this is what happened to me, so it's much better than saying you're always doing this to me, saying you are always aggressive, you're always doing this, whenever you talk about this issue, this is how you do it, right, so rather than saying, you know, when you actually said this, when you brought it up, this is how I felt, I felt hurt, right, I felt very upset when you did this, when you said that, right, so this will, this will actually help us to voice it, voice the same thing, whatever happened, in a better way, without, without blaming, you're actually describing the situation, we are expressing our feelings, etc., but we are also specifying objectively, okay, this is, this is something that we can do, it'll help us, right, so emotions, we are emotional beings, we are wired that way, some are more emotional than the other, right, it's amazing how some people can really remain very calm, a lot of things are happening, a lot of things are being spoken, they're irritating, but then the person is remaining very calm, right, so we don't have to like leave our emotions, but can we manage our emotions, and it is, we are feeling angry, we are feeling there is a sense of injustice, these are good, these are good indicators, it's showing us something is wrong, right, pain is showing us something is wrong, but you can choose what kind of emotions to actually give when to, right, and how you want to express those emotions, you can decide, I actually wanted to just show us one video, which talks a little further about the same thing, let me just pull that up, okay, just give me a second, any questions in the meantime, I think that you might have questions, okay, okay, so this one talks about how we can see basically at the very foundation level conflicts start with disagreement or misunderstanding, right, so we're just talking about disagreement, how we can disagree, right, and not see eye to eye, but we don't have to argue, which will escalate it to another degree or another level, right, so it's talking about prevention, it's talking about how we can do that, okay, so let's, it's a small video, let's look at that. Hi, I'm Edward Museo, CEO of Group Harmonics, and I'm going to tell you how to disagree but don't argue, have you ever been in utter disbelief at somebody else's interpretation of something, maybe you and a fellow manager are walking out of a meeting you just attended about company, but let's say you and this manager have to come to some conclusion on what to tell your shared staff, you need to make sure your disagreement or your different perceptions don't turn into an argument or a situation where you're digging in your heels, getting emotional, and unable to come to resolution, to do that, you need to know something about where that reality came from, this is a model I call the five building blocks of reality, we start over here on the left with number one information, you just attended a presentation about revenue, there was a presenter and there was some data, and those two things together make up the objective information that you just saw, next over here is the situation, this is all about context, in other words who else was in the room, what was the history versus the current data that was presented, whatever background information is important goes with the context, now skip over here to the far right side, number five we have beliefs, I'll draw this as a thought bubble, it's really just the contents of your own mind, maybe you believe your industry is a growth industry and your colleague believes it's a shrinking industry, those are different beliefs, those lead to different approaches, approach is how you think things should be done, your belief in a growth industry might lead you to take an aggressive approach toward new product releases, your colleagues belief in shrinking profits might lead to a more conservative approach, here in the middle where everything comes together we have the interpretation, the interpretation is the answer to the big question, so what, what does it all mean, as you can see we have it, the information coming from out there and we have you, what you brought to the party in here, coming together in interpretation, how do you use this model to keep your disagreement from becoming an argument, two simple rules, first you need to define the need for agreement, this means get very specific about what you need to agree on, you and this other manager need to come to some conclusion as to what to tell your staff, that's all, you don't need to agree on management philosophy or the future of the world, keep it as narrow and as focused as you can, second use the five building blocks of reality to discuss what you're discussing, be very overt, in other words you're going to start with information, these are the facts I saw, these are the facts you saw, what else is on the table, we're talking objective facts here, now let's move into situation, these were the contextual cues that were important to me, I noticed this was the history, etc, what did you see, now move to interpretation, all of this led me to this conclusion, what was your conclusion, if you can, if you can get to your specific need for agreement here, stop here, don't go any further if you don't have to, if you can get your agreement, if you have to you can go on, you can move over here to approach and start talking about things like, I seem to be taking a more aggressive approach, you're taking a more conservative approach, how do we reconcile those, you can even go all the way to beliefs, if you do, be careful, it's tough to figure out your own beliefs much less other people's, but you can try, you can certainly say, I tend to believe we're in a growth industry, what do you believe and see where you get, it won't get you an answer every time, but if you focus on a well-defined need for agreement and you're clear using the model to discuss what you're discussing, you'll be more likely to keep your disagreement from becoming an argument, more likely to reach the agreement you need. Okay, so that was more from a business perspective, but if you can just remember those rules, it'll be very useful for us to keep it in mind so that things don't escalate. I was also watching a video of a person, this person was of American origin, African American, and he lived in that time when, I think he recently passed away, he lived at a time when there was a lot of white supremacy and you know, all those kind of the KKK or the Crooked Cluck's Clan was really going around, being very active and so on and so how he attended their meetings and went from a place of not being accepted because he was a black man, not being accepted in these meetings because they were white supremacists, so having a meeting with the leader trying to find out what really, what is it that was bothering them, what is it that led them to believe what they believe and why they were so much hatred and why there was so much violence against the race, so he went about doing that and it was not a very easy journey for him, it was not an easy journey for him, it was difficult but he did it anyway, he did it despite threats to his life, he did it despite a lot of discouragements, a lot of setbacks in the journey but he was able to win them over so that they would invite him for these meetings and he was able to at a place at a certain point win them over and diffuse the whole the gang wars or the violence that was happening, so very inspiring story, our incident, a real life story that we can see, so there's a lot of things that can be done if we set our minds to saying okay, this is something that is worth resolving and this is something that is worth putting our time and effort to resolve and it involves coming to that place of what we would agree on defining our agreement and defining the boundary of the agreement like we heard and really putting our effort in following through, so just wanted to share that and this is a very important skill for us that despite whatever our, let's say our personality is, we can change and we might be at a stage where we're saying okay, I don't want to face any conflicts, I don't want to much less resolve it, let things just run their course, I just don't want to be part of it, it's making me feel very unpleasant and I want to remove myself from that kind of an environment but that's not going to help, we need to be able to, because we are stewards, because we are maybe interested in leadership, we need to take ownership of these kind of situations and step in. So, any questions, anything that you want to clarify? Not really? Okay, so we'll stop here, we'll end it here, thank you so much, we'll meet again in our next class, God bless, goodbye.