 The Narcissist fears that you will realize this. They fear that you will come to this realization. They fear that you will figure this out. The Narcissist can leave you in a state of confusion where you are unsure if you should leave them or not. They can make it seem like they don't really know what they're doing. They can make it seem like they are not aware or concerned about what is happening around them as though they are lacking remembrance, memory or mindful attention as though they are lacking active conscious knowledge or awareness but they are aware of what they are doing and they know the effect that it is having on you but because they lack empathy they may not be able to realize just how damaging it is to you but they are fully aware of what they are doing to you. People often wonder if the Narcissist knows what they are doing and what the Narcissist greatly fears that you might realize is that they do know what they are doing. Everything they did to you was done deliberately. It was done consciously and intentionally. They knew exactly what they were doing to you but what keeps people stuck in these relationships is remembering the false character that was displayed to them in the beginning that kind caring character who is so supportive that's what makes them stay with the Narcissist they are experiencing cognitive dissonance two conflicting beliefs where they are just waiting for that false character to come back even though it wasn't real this is what stops people from leaving the Narcissist you remember the false character from the beginning and you think that there's a good side to them but there isn't that was only used to fool you to lure you into the relationship to secure you as their source of supply Narcissists are comfortable with their dysfunctionality which is why they have no desire to change they derive pleasure and gratification from their disorder it makes them feel powerful, special and important it makes them feel superior to everyone around them it makes them feel invincible which then makes them feel like they have the right to mistreat other people they think they can treat people however they like because everyone else is beneath them so they deserve to be mistreated especially if they get in the way of the Narcissist getting what they want the Narcissist cannot stand people who they perceive as being beneath them they feel like they deserve to be mistreated they feel like they deserve to be punished and when they do mistreat them they don't experience any guilt for their actions they don't experience any regret but people still think there's this kind caring character underneath that when there isn't they lack the ability to make considered decisions or come to sensible conclusions because they don't want to deal with anything practical or realistic they're trying to escape from reality which is why they created their own fantasy world they believe that they possess these supernatural abilities that are beyond scientific understanding or the laws of nature they've detached themselves from this world because they don't want to deal with any limitations or restrictions and that is why they lack control over their own behaviour that is why they lack restraint which is why it's so dangerous to be involved with them because when you're involved with a Narcissist you're involved with someone who lacks the skills and abilities to do something successfully they might possess some traits that allow them to achieve some success initially but it always catches up with them because you cannot function efficiently at that level of performance over a long period of time when you possess all of those dysfunctional traits it might last for a short period of time but at some point it's going to catch up with them but they like the idea of it they like the fantasy they just don't want to deal with the reality of it because they cannot exist in harmony with reality reality constantly conflicts with them because in their minds they're invincible they cannot entertain anything that might present a limitation or restriction to them they cannot respect the laws of physics such as the law of gravity in their minds they think they can produce a superior action or performance they enjoy the unfamiliarity of what this fantasy world has given to them they enjoy the pleasure and gratification that they experience at the expense of other people's happiness at the cost of other people's pain they enjoy the power that it gives them all a narcissist really cares about is how they feel which is why they will heavily defend their feelings which is why they perceive their feelings as facts however they feel must be right it must be the truth they could not exist in a world where their feelings are not the truth it would destroy them because they cannot deal with reality this fantasy world disconnects them from the realities of human existence and experience it detaches them from the mental, emotional, spiritual and physical characteristics of human life because all they really care about is themselves their own pleasure and gratification often at other people's expense that's why they have such a strong sense of entitlement they have these insatiable desires they have an appetite that is impossible to satisfy and when you look into a narcissist's eyes it's like there's no one even in there it's like no one's home and that's because there isn't anyone in there they abandoned that human part of them a long time ago they're just an empty shell of who they once were now they just do things without even thinking about it like a cog in a wheel their body is just going through the motions their mind is gone they're just going through their everyday life in a mechanical manner repeating the same actions again and again day after day without any enthusiasm and once you realize this you should know that there is only one solution your only option is to disengage you have to leave or minimize your emotions you have to leave or minimize the amount of contact you have with them stop sharing your thoughts and ideas with them stop trying to get them to see things your way because nothing you do is going to bring them back to life there's nothing left to bring to life some people think that love will help them but there is no amount of love that could help these people recover they hate love they see your love as a weakness it's just something for them to exploit something for them to take advantage of something that they can use to manipulate you which is why the best thing you can do is disengage you cannot change them into an improved form or condition you cannot amend or improve them by changing their form or removing their faults or abuse you cannot put an end to their evil by enforcing or introducing a better method or course of action the narcissist is a lost cause your attempts to change or influence them have no chance of succeeding they are physically present but they are mentally absent their mind doesn't work it's just a machine that resembles a human being they've learned to replicate certain human movements and functions but they're only capable of behaving in a mechanical and an emotional manner the narcissist greatly fears that you will realize this because once you do you'll understand that you only have one choice in this situation and it will be easy for you to make that choice thank you for watching I hope this video resonated with you please like, comment, share and subscribe click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos check out the new Narc Survival website at www.narcsurviver.co.uk where you can read my blog posts, book coaching sessions and join a support forum if you would like to donate my paypal link is in the video description coaching inquiries you can email me at coaching.narcsurviver.co.uk thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon