 It also doesn't help that we was intimate up to like a week and a half ago, but It's the message right here black boy tell me how you really feel cuz I just want to build with you Black girl tell me how you really feel. I want to keep it real with you. I want to live better eat better I want to love better sleep better. Yeah So when he broke up with me and pack me up and put me back in my mom's house like he found me I Just had to analyze like what went wrong like what and I had to be honest with myself and That was when Thankfully, I don't know if it was God or what but it's like that's when I got into the man is very heavy And everything that they were speaking on are a lot of things that they were speaking on it's like All right, okay So this is how men think and this is what they expect and this is what they expect from us And this is what we're not doing and this is how we're coming off and this is you know, so Neat list to say I made a lot of life changes and Still am But one of the biggest things for me was I felt like my physical insecurities was my own personal problem And if I didn't start working on that in my body Now I was just gonna carry that with every guy that I did it So I had to lose weight like I was like 190 at my heaviest I went to the doctor and I thought I was 185 And the lady put me on the scale and I don't know why I was surprised She was like you're um, I came up to 189 And I don't know why that was so surprising for me when I already expected to hear 185, but I was huge These are only like five fours so 190 pounds for like It's just it wasn't A lot of problems. I just I wasn't feeling myself and Now listen, I did get that surgery I did get that VVL, but a lot of sweet before and I also Changed a lot of my habits like diet wise. There's a lot of things that I don't eat that I used to eat now cut up the alcohol mostly and I work out almost every day now, so So it doesn't help Once I had made all these changes I'm like, okay I'm ready for him now So I hit him up, right and This is where it gets this is where it gets juicy Alan. This is where it gets juicy. I hit him up Around the summer ish of last year around June July last year I thought he wasn't really gonna be messing with me because I saw he was just done with me up and down, but I Told him I gotta be I See Yeah, he started messing with me again, and we spent the entire summer You know together how we were in the beginning I was this man didn't tell me he was in a relationship the entire time the entire time As this man didn't tell me That he had gotten married He went to the courthouse at the end of last year and they had a ceremony this year So I'm thinking like okay, I didn't got myself together. I did my big one. I did everything supposed to do I got right Like I was wondering why he was holding back so much like what was wrong like what you know and then The female intuition kicked in I'm like it seemed like every other time he talking to me on the phone he's just getting in his car or you know Like he's always on the go or something which is like an indicator that he can't be in a house talking for a reason Like I think somebody can't know who he's talking to And there was just a lot of things that just didn't make sense and One day he just finally like just told me just came out and just said Everything well, he ain't tell me that he still didn't tell me the truth He told me he didn't tell me that like he had moved on and was like married and he found somebody to be with He told me That since he was in another very you know, they get paid to be married. He told me that he had an arrangement with The woman that he married in the arrangement was He would get money out of the marriage and she would have a companion Like he just tried to play it off like he made her seem like she was like this older woman that just because I think she's a little bit older than him But this older woman that just needed a companion and just needed a guy around and I mean it makes sense. I have no proof until one day I had just Called his mom That But that that was hard and that was hard breaking and you know It also doesn't help that we was intimate up to like a week and a half ago, but So, yeah Shout out to the army All right, let's talk about your BBL I like talking about this. Okay. So first of all, let's let's let's let's make it very elementary explain what a BBL is And then explain why you decided to get one done and what your life was before And then now after a BBL is a Brazilian but lift. It's a plastic surgery procedure that involves taking the fat cells from one part of your body and Removing them and implant them into your butt Um, if I'm not mistaken, it's been around since like the 70s That was like when it first was invented But it's gotten better and better with time because it's gotten more and more popular since being thick is in um Simply put the reason why I I knew I was gonna get one was because I was straight legs up back I had nothing I had nothing and I just don't think that was spare I don't think that was spare God could have just gave me a little teeny tiny little something But I had nothing and I'm like, I'm not living this life with a flat ass. I'm not doing it life's too short Life's too short for me to just be on pancake That was like I got only stomach. I ain't using it anyway, so I might as well just go ahead and just put it where it really needs to be so It wasn't like a spur of the moment thing and it wasn't spontaneous either. I have been researching in BBL since I was like 13 13 Wow Um back then they weren't as popular back then I think girls was getting like implants and stuff Which I was really skinny back then so I thought when I get older like that's what I'm gonna do which thank god it didn't work out that way but um As I got older and older it just and then Life just it's your peers just don't help Like it just didn't help to just constantly be reminded that I had no ass. So You know, what do you mean? school guys let you know What they like and what you what you don't got um, and it's like I always had the boobs so people just naturally expecting you to Have the complete package, but it seems like it's always the other way around like typically girls with boobs don't have But So I was like, you know what? I'm a big myself so and I just I was Kind of sort of a little bit obsessive about it. Um, and then once I finally got into adulthood I was like, I'm gonna find a way to make this happen. Um I think they get a bad rep honestly because of all the bad press surrounding them Which is understandable But I don't think a lot of people really look into like like there's a lot of um I'm not mistaken the death rate for vbl is like one in every three thousand or something but a lot of people don't look into A lot of the cases that go viral for women that die um In most instances women that die typically Have lied to their doctors about their medical history Or they went out of the country to try to get it done, which I want you to do that It's It's 50 50 because you don't have the protection of the united states and You go to another country and you don't speak the language. You don't know what they're doing to you. Yeah So a lot of women are trying to be cheap Go the easy route. Um Isn't it? I don't think people go to the dr really even to be cheap anymore because you can get a vbl In like ellen or miami for the same price you could go in the dr I think it's the fact that in the dr. They just do it It's gonna sound messed up, but they do it in a more dangerous manner Like there's only so much that you can put back there at one time And I don't think um in the dr. They have is strict regulations like they don't They pretty much in a lot of instances anything goes with certain doctors So a lot of them are going to to take the dangerous route because they want that Vixen body um And a lot of women that die typically lie to their doctors about their medical history Like you have to get clearing In so many different ways before you can even you know, if you go to a reputable doctor like a good doctor You have to get so much clearing before you can Actually get it done So a lot of them can bypass that by going to the dr Or if they go to doctors in the u.s. That's constantly telling them no because of their health They can go to a doctor overseas that might tell them. Yeah Because they don't care they want the money So I mean you could be perfectly healthy And still die something could still go wrong but you could really really minimize the chances of complications if you do what you're supposed to do and That's why I didn't go out to rush and do anything because I wanted to make sure that if I was going to do it I was going to do it right And in the best way possible um And honestly I Like I don't have anything bad to say about my experience. I went to Miami um This doctor named daniel kaufman and Everything was great for me. Um I made sure that I saved up so that I could get everything that I needed That's why I was surprised. How did you afford it because you're young? Um, so Let's this ain't even get a butt on layaway now You can get a butt on it's always like You put a down payment on the booty like you can put a down payment on the car Some people think that you just this big big bucks because you gotta be no And then there's also um, if you work on your credit score, like I had relatively I wouldn't like 750 800 if I had decent credit I mean my youth because I didn't do anything with it Specifically for this purpose and I got a proof for a care credit card, which was how I was able to pay for it um I also I just want to make sure that I did everything right because I didn't want anything to go wrong on my own doing Um, I also had a private nurse take care of me for the first few days so that you know I could really be sure that that would be okay and I don't regret anything about that decision because when I tell you my life changed like day and night changed Talk about it. What what what do you mean my life changed explain break it down all the way for me. I'm a dude Yeah Break it down one. It's just the confidence. I never had like I've never been an unattractive girl, but I never had What I felt like would complete me and Even if people say go to the gym go to the gym go to the gym I'm telling you I had straight legs up back I could have did squats all I wanted to I wasn't even back. I just had a little push I was overweight, but I wasn't you know like obese or anything There was nothing I could have did to make my butt how I wanted it to look I didn't want no squat booty I wouldn't Yeah, I wanted the full package like and My genetics didn't do it for me. So and working out wasn't gonna do it for me Like there's only so much that you can do with working out and I don't think people understand that it's not about The fitness of it sad to say um, it's about having the look It's about being thick and if you don't have that you gotta go and get it um, if it's that big of a deal to you, but The confidence that I gained from it. I never had like things that I wear now I wouldn't have worn back then because it didn't look good to me You know and it may not have even been as bad as I thought it was it may not have been as anything wrong with me that That others might have seen that I thought was wrong with me, but it just it wasn't I just didn't like my shape. I didn't like my shape and it manifested in so many different ways, but now I go into storage and I try stuff on and I feel happier um, I feel more confident I Like I feel six year. It's easier to come into, you know, womanhood. It was easier to come into womanhood um and then the other side of that is You know the reactions that you get from people Um So mine looks very natural So it's not like oh my god people stop in the stair because I want that um There's a skinny bbl. Is that the the term I heard that recently I think skinny bbl is when you don't have fat anywhere else like you're like a skinny girl And so they really really have to like get you out. I just got a natural look um and then Believe it or not like that look where people look like wisdom teeth a little bit Like that crazy look a lot of them and go for that look though Like a lot of women will show their doctors picture to that because they want to look that's called the bixen look So a lot of people, you know video bixen stripper look a lot of people go for that Because they want the attention that comes along with it or they want to get into like sex work only fans stripping stuff like that. So