 all of you. Good morning once again. So welcome back the new year. Everyone's ready to take on what is there for the year ahead. Okay welcome to all our online students. Nice to see the little thumbnails, even though I can't see your faces. And welcome to all the e-learning students who've joined in fresh for this course or those who've joined us since last semester. Thank you. I hope all of you are doing well. Okay so this semester we have a very interesting topic on Christian counseling. Okay actually teaching Christian counseling online or through a distance education is something quite difficult because a lot about counseling is all about practice and learning how to do it. So my students over here I'm going to be using them and making them do a lot of role plays in the coming few weeks. So I'm looking forward to that. But that doesn't mean all the online students can't participate. You can because we will use you all as well for this because if you're going to learn about counseling it has to be a hands-on practice, right? It can't be just theory. It's like learning how to cook by reading a recipe book. Okay all right let's just get started and we'll dive right in. Have any father we thank you for this new year? Thank you for your grace and your faithfulness that has brought us to something brand new Father. Lord we look forward to all that you have in store for us and we pray we will walk in your wisdom, we will walk in your ways, we will walk in your commands and Lord we will be in step with the power of the Holy Spirit. Lord even as we learn this new topic even as we just begin to scratch the surface of it I pray that you would give us a heart of love to help and work with others and maybe look at the greatest counselor of all the Holy Spirit be with us and we commit our time ahead in Jesus name we pray. Amen. All right so through this entire course I've got PPTs on because we definitely do need examples as we are learning through so I will be putting across a PPT so I hope those of you who are using your phones are able to look at the PPT okay just give me a minute. Is this visible to everybody? Yeah not visible yet? Visible right? Okay great okay so maybe the first question that I probably need to ask is has anyone gone through any kind of some training or some knowledge about counseling? Anybody either in the online class or here anyone? Sorry from? From dad you learned okay all right dad's a pastor okay right so you must have done if not counseling some form of listening advising advising we all do no right some form of it we would have done right so even as we are going to look into this entire subject maybe some of the things that we've done is something we should keep aside and look at fresh onto this the subject okay all right so before we get started I want to bring about an example to y'all and we will start off from there so just give me a minute okay so here's a lady by name Susan who's come to you okay and she catches you at the corridor and she says this to you okay and this is what she says I don't know what's wrong with my husband he just doesn't allow me enough space to just be me he always wants to pry into what I'm doing who I'm talking to I'm having quite enough I have second thoughts about this marriage okay so she's sharing this with you what is the first thing you will tell her how would you respond to her remember there's no right or wrong answers if you don't answer or if you don't attempt you won't learn okay so no right no wrong and this is how we're learning this is a it's like learning a new language okay all right so how would you respond even those on the online platform please please engage either you know you could just unmute or or you can you can just type it yeah can everyone hear you first she can sit with her husband no tell me what you will tell her I am Susan what will you tell me you can you can first sit with your husband and you can speak once and then you can sort it out things and then you can take decision okay so Anand says he'll tell me you must talk sit with your husband talk about it sort it out and then we'll figure out things will be okay all right then what should you tell me I'm Susan what should you tell me okay okay okay okay good good Nina so so Nina said I'd she'd first say what's the first thing that you said uh this is it is uh it is a hard situation it's true it's a it's a true situation it's a hard situation nevertheless we can talk it out we can figure out something get your husband talk about it okay yeah okay I'm just going to read what someone others have written over here uh Jacken's written oh it's a certainly a difficult situation you are in okay then uh Nina's written hold on don't be in a hurry to make a decision okay Anthony writes I will tell Susan to be more transparent and open in all her communication so that her husband will be more comfortable to give her space to be herself okay uh Shivkumar listen to her in detail the problems then make her understand wherever attitude change is required advice with the word of god okay yeah Francis what would you say I won't say anything but like I should recheck like is her thoughts are is actually really happening okay so you'll ask are you telling the truth or yeah you'll ask are you telling us the truth okay all right okay uh prince just make an attempt it's okay the first thing I'll say or it must be so hard for you mm-hmm I'll try to empathize okay actually I asked like uh what's the reason like what's happening why it's happening okay and then I'll maybe I'll ask her in detail everything ask their relationships how it was okay the first time only you will ask all this okay very good good so I think like I should tell like maybe the husband has some past experience which is actually affecting in this relationship so at first like sit and talk with that like the wife should sit with the husband and ask that what is actually like um affecting him to do all these things okay so she's made analysis and she said what is her husband going through what is happening okay excellent answers excellent answers unfortunately I'm not going to give you the answer right now okay that's something we will discover and learn okay but it is for you too I think for all of us to just know how will we respond and what are some of the responses that we've had yeah prince we know like when it comes with marriage and family we have to not only deal with one person but with two of them so we can also ask like bring your husband we just talk everything open okay all right okay good good I'm glad that all of you are thinking good student okay wonderful attempt like I said I'm not going to tell you what it is but um I'll just show you what are some of the common responses that you'll generally hear okay and uh okay oh I didn't put that slide up okay never mind okay so that's some of the common responses are what all of you all said okay but we will look at we need when we're looking at responses we're going to look at what is most effective what is not effective at all what is least effective okay so we will come back to this maybe two three classes later the same example will come to three classes later okay so let's start with understanding what is counseling what are your thoughts so what do you think counseling is students you're good also because I have my students here I have yeah you can speak all of you can speak yeah so what what do you think counseling is okay rather says counseling is to be able to listen more and to talk less okay okay helping others come out of their situations by actually listening and hearing them out okay okay nice so what you're saying is it's not when you say controlling I think what you mean is not telling them what to do but being able to show them a path going forward okay good anand okay okay okay okay wonderful you bought an excellent aspect of it counseling is not just about what you do it is like he said it's a relationship with somebody right just like how you go meet with a doctor you have a doctor and a patient relationship you know that a lot of people feel so much better when they go meet with a doctor who's able to listen to them isn't it right so similarly even in counseling the relationship with the counselor is very very vital for a in a counseling thing okay good good okay the students online students what are your thoughts Jacken says counseling is listening to others and helping them or guiding them to take a decision of their own conviction wonderful nice nice okay I like some of the words that she's used is it's listening helping them guiding them to take a decision of their own choice or conviction not yours okay not you as a counselor okay Solomon writes counseling is giving sound biblical advice to the person okay all right so let me take you to the next slide and kind of share with you you know what let's first look at what counseling is not okay so let's understand what counseling is not so number one it's not giving advice and it's not giving answers to people's problems okay we're not working in a prophetic ministry here remember that okay it's not a prophetic ministry it's a counseling ministry so it's not when someone comes to you and says like you know these babas who sit there and say I'll come I'll tell you what the issue so counseling is not giving answers to people's problems neither is it giving advice okay counseling is not being judgmental the meaning of judgmental is people are going to come with you with come to you with many kind of issues which maybe as believers or as as someone who has a christian conviction there definitely there's a lot of sin that you are going to be exposed to when someone's going to come right and it's not being judgmental and you know calling them a sinner and calling them pagans and you know unloved of god or off satan it that's not what counseling is okay it's not giving any labels to them it's not being judgmental next one it's not attempting to sort out the problems of the counseling or the client okay you're you're not sitting there knowing the answers to everything so you're not there to you're not held responsible to sort out people's problems okay next one it's not expecting or encouraging a counseling to behave in a way in which the counselor may have behaved when confronted with a similar situation maybe you went through something similar and you you did something else that worked for you right or you know you followed what scripture said and it worked for you it is not encouraging them to behave in the same way that's not what it is it's not modeling a behavior to someone that's not again what counseling is okay it's not getting emotionally involved with the person what does that mean now yeah so they're coming and crying to you because of the problems you sit and cry alongside with them that's not that's not it okay you're there to help them with those emotions and not get as involved with it so getting involved with them would be going way overboard than what you're expected to do okay to another person in the counseling session it can affect your your counseling with a personal agenda with a personal correct yeah yeah that's what happens so when you're emotionally involved you tend to it is out of your interest this deep interest that you want to help them so you may go beyond what is the boundary of counseling all right so that's that's that's about what emotionally involvement is and is counseling is not looking at a counseling's problems from your own perspective or based on your own value system all right which means that especially when especially when you're dealing with non-believers right they may not hold your own conviction or your own value system so you're not you are as you're dealing with them you're independently working alongside with them however keeping your convictions in heart keeping your convictions in your mind okay any thoughts any questions here from the online students or any on any I think before I move on okay the next we so let's let's look at what counseling is all right so what is counseling the first thing that we we need to understand is that counseling is a way okay it is a relationship that gives you a framework to have a purposeful conversation so counseling is all about having a meaningful conversation it's a conversation okay it's not a question and answer session where the counselor asks you a question you give them an answer asks you a question give them an answer it's not it while you are talking with them you're helping them do three things you're helping them explore you're helping them understand their problem and you're helping them get into action okay we're going to learn about the framework of counseling which is this it's called exploration understanding and getting into action so the conversation is where you help them to explore their problem why they are feeling this way what they think is the issue help them understand it and help them bring about change okay so it's all through a conversation that happens and that's why counseling has many skills that we need to develop in order to get them through this process action getting into action okay next counseling is in the in the midst of a supportive relationship a relationship between the counselor as well as the counseling okay it is in the midst of a supportive relationship and what does that help to do it helps them to it helps the counseling first and foremost to focus on their feelings now when you have a problem think of any problem you have how is the first what is the first indication that you have a problem how do you know you're having a problem so what you get you feel emotional about it either you're angry or sad or you're jealous or whatever right your emotional experience is what really tells you that there is a problem so God has put emotions inside of us like a thermometer it's like a where it's it will tell you whether something is wrong or not right so through that relationship with the counseling what you're doing is focusing first on their emotions or on their feelings then you focus on their behavior or their experiences in such a way with a goal to bring about some change so they have a problem they come to you the problem you're exploring their feelings and experiences helping them understand it so that they can bring about some change and this is done through that supportive relationship between a counselor and a counseling okay all right the next one it is it is a relationship of trust a counselor-counselor relationship has to be built on trust why trust because then only will they open up correct if you don't open up it's like you're going to the doctor with a headache but actually you have a backache and you're not telling them the truth of it what are they going to help you with nothing right so similarly remember I said this is not prophetic ministry for the counselor to understand okay she has a back pain also no it's not right so it is and that trust gets built when the counselor exhibits that kind of a gesture or that kind of a demeanor or a behavior right so for example for the counseling should know or should feel the need to bring out whatever is deep within so that the counselor can help them move from a place of problem to a place of action or a place of solution okay so it is built on a relationship of trust so the more than anything else actually even more than skills if you're able to connect to people in in a in the umbrella of trust you know a lot of things can actually happen all right so three main things is it's a conversation it's a supportive relationship and it's something that's a relationship of trust okay all right any questions any thoughts till here if not I'd like to move on okay so we're just going to before we get into understanding counseling as a what do you say as a subject or thing we're also going to be looking at our role as counselors or as biblical counselors we need to know what our standing is what are some of the core elements that we need to keep in mind so we're going to look at the core elements of biblical counseling okay okay so the first one the the first thing that we when we look at too many tabs okay the first element of biblical counseling is we we keep in mind and we stand on the principle that God is at the center of every biblical counseling okay God is in the center of biblical counseling okay and I just want to bring about a scripture for you okay so when we look at God and we're looking at his word as you see in 2 Timothy verse 3 verse 17 could one of you just read that out please 2 Timothy 3 verse 17 you can read 15 to 17 3 verses 15 chapter 3 verse 15 to 17 2 Timothy chapter 3 from verse 15 and how from in fans you have known the holy scriptures which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Jesus Christ all scripture is God's breath and is useful for teaching rebuking correcting and training in righteousness so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work okay so when you look at these verses we what are being what is being emphasized is the power of God and his word in everything in life and that also involves anything to do with problems and people's issues okay so it says you have been taught the scriptures from childhood what has it given us it has given us wisdom to receive salvation that comes by trusting in Christ Jesus okay we see that scripture is inspired by God and it is useful for teaching for admonishing for correcting right it corrects us it teaches us so when we're looking at biblical counseling that becomes foundational God and his word becomes foundational to everything that we are doing and verse 17 it says God uses it to prepare and equip his people for every good work right so even as counselors that becomes the base for all our help and our support all right okay next principle is all disciplines are under the authority of the scripture now whatever so something like counseling you know is something that also did come from other disciplines other disciplines of science like life sciences sociology anthropology all of them you know it's been picked up from this kind of a subject has come as a result of other wider topics and wider subjects so whatever disciplines whether you're learning from psychology you're learning from sociology all these disciplines are under the authority of the scripture okay and that's what it has to pass the test of it being through scripture okay next one sin is the primary concern that needs to be dealt with so what what do we mean by this is that whatever the primary problem of mankind is what is sin in every one of its dimensions so even when people are coming with problems it's because of our sin nature that we are in a situation as we are okay so sin is something that as a counselor we must deal with and it is also essential to understand why people have problems knowing that sin exists in all its dimensions here that helps us understand problems of people and how we need to minister to them okay so sin is the primary concern that needs to be dealt with now that doesn't mean when people are coming to you you're saying okay you're very sinful you're a sinner that doesn't mean that but we need a perspective or an understanding you know you have a you have a working knowledge and saying okay why is this person coming here with this issue it's because of sin that is or when you look back into our lives why am I feeling angry at my friend or my husband it's because of my sinful nature right so we we need to understand that as the as one of the principles next one the gospel of Jesus Christ is the answer okay so the gospel is the life of of God in our souls and it is fundamental for any kind of reconciliation right so and and we we see of so many truths in scripture talking about repentance about forgiveness justification and this is the need of every person whether they believe it or not this is the need of every person right and so when we are ministering to them we are ministering with that hope that they will receive the Lord one day now again that doesn't mean everyone who we counsel we may bring about the gospel it it it really depends on the working of the Holy Spirit through that point of time okay the next one is the process of change sorry should always aim at progressive sanctification the change process must always aim at progressive sanctification now what does that mean that ultimately every person needs to conform to to Christ to Jesus Christ right and and that is that and it may be a progressive it it can be something that happens slowly progressively right and it is when when we look at maybe I think I'll I'll share the next slide with you and then that'll be easy okay so to understand that there are two kinds there is an instantaneous justification that happens and a progressive sanctification that happens so what is the instantaneous justification that happens so immediately what is the definition of justification that immediately when you believe in God or when you trust in him you are justified as if you did not sin it is an instantaneous immediate one that happens when a person comes to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ okay and and this is the two aspects of this is forgiveness of sins on the basis of what Jesus did for us on the cross and secondly it is when we when we are into in Jesus we become adopted as his children the minute we believe okay that's an instantaneous one that's called justification nevertheless what what happens is your sanctification is a process right so when you have come to a place of belief you may not immediately your body and your soul may not immediately bring about a change okay so for example a person who's been smoking for 25 years there are some people who have instantaneous healing but for others for some it may be something that's progressive they they they are they it is a gradual one they they live with God they with his word with his power that is a slow change that happens okay so it is a continuous operation of the Holy Spirit right the Holy Spirit continuously continuously works in us to purify us to renew us to make us in the image of God okay so that's what we call as a progressive sanctification and the two aspects to sanctification is that we are set apart from set apart from sin so that we are set apart to God all right and that's the process that happens okay so there is there is that counseling change must aim at that progressive sanctification which means it may take time it will be progressive it will be gradual but it is moving them from that place of sin to a place of transformation which may be progressive which may be gradual okay all right any thoughts any questions when when we do counseling now especially when we keep our counseling based on biblical standards and not everybody were willing to apply or a deal through biblical standards right so then with that kind of person how we can like actually how we can tell them or how to take a step towards conversion so yeah we will be talking a lot about this but in short again we're not like we said we're not telling people what to do we are helping them to think about about maybe their lives or their problems like let's take an example maybe you have let's say a young lady who comes to you who's living in maybe some form of sin or some form of wrong behavior right she's come to you the very fact that she's come to you what does it indicate she needs help right so that itself is a good thing right now in your conversation alongside with her she may say you know I'm whatever I'm feeling really upset because of these these things I want to get rid of it but I'm not able to right so that in itself shows a sin conscious mind right okay and that's how you begin conversations you begin conversations to okay what what bothers you about this kind of a lifestyle so she may say certain things of it right and through that conversation through questioning is how you get them to a place to think and understand and realize if they you know if there is something that can completely save them so some part of counseling where we call is a disclosure is where we can disclose the gospel you know you can disclose the gospel but that's not right in the beginning that is after a point of time that you have brought them to think about a place that there is no place of saving other than God above so you have to bring them to that point right and that happens through your questions through your conversations right through what they say helping them understand okay like I'll give you maybe an example of one of the cases that I did she was talking about how her identity was all in her work okay and she lost her job she lost her job so much so that something happened and she got a very poor rating and she couldn't get another job because her rating was so poor and she came for counseling because she just realized that she had she felt she lost everything by not because she lost a job but because her identity her or who she was was very stuck to that job right and when that went it came as a shock to her because she never thought it would it would ever happen that way right so the questions kind of came to that place I mean when we were talking it came she began to understand how all her life she had she had attached her self-worth to success or self-worth to performance self-worth to something that she was getting out from her job so the minute that was taken from her her self-worth left right so then they come to that realization and then they ask you the question you know what if my job can can be taken away from me there are so many other things that can be taken away and that's when she realized okay my health will fail my family once will pass away or my friends may not be there which means what do I hold my identity to and that's where you know when she comes to that place is how you can disclose maybe a personal journey and saying this is what where I saw my identity or you could say something at more general reference of there are people who look towards towards God right maybe initially you'll put it very general and then you know through that conversation bring have them have a conversation about that so all you can do is only present you can't make them believe or you know live a certain way you bring them to that point it's like taking the horse to the water the horse only has to drink the water right similarly you bring them to a point where they've come to a place of realization that you know none of this is helpful none of this this is useful okay you'll figure out more of this all right okay next is we look at what are some of the basic principles of effective counseling so one of the main ministry that we rely on is the ministry of the Holy Spirit as our counselor and and and as a comforter why why do you think so so he is the greatest counselor right so the ministry the Holy Spirit's ministry as the counselor is critical in christian counseling okay so when you're sitting in a room there are three people involved in a counseling situation who are they counseling yeah okay so whenever you're counseling you have one eye here and one eye there right and that's the dependence on the work of the spirit is very very crucial okay so we need to be aware as a counselor as a christian counselor we need to be aware of the presence of the Holy Spirit the guidance of the Holy Spirit the leading of the Holy Spirit and also how we need to function like a spirit-filled counselor in what we say in the in the gifts that we use now that doesn't mean now all because I said you know it's not a prophetic ministry that doesn't mean you you you cannot bring about a word of wisdom or a word of knowledge right and you don't have to be spooky and say the Lord above told me this is what is that you don't have to say that right but you can say something like I sense something like that is that true right and that's perfectly okay to bring about that so the Holy Spirit is is a very very vital person in counseling okay next one I think we spoke about that the Bible is the soul and sufficient authority in counseling and dealing with all problems of living so we know that the scripture that scripture gives us every wisdom that we need to deal with people and their problems as we read in 2 Corinthians sorry 2 Timothy 3 verse 17 okay the next one is prayer it is a very important part of biblical helping to use prayer even actually through even in counseling you know in here at Chrysalis after every session we actually tell them because because we we are a known christian counseling center and they come to our center they we get them to sign a form that we do pray at the end of it in the form it's there we will pray you know please if you're not comfortable something that it talks about so to be awesome can we pray for you but we we do know that prayer is an important part of counseling so but the the proper timing is very very important right it's very important next is the ultimate goal of counseling is to make disciples is to make disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ that is that is what we desire if if even if you know even if they do not accept Christ there is some seed that goes in right maybe some principles or some the life of how Christ is through us there is a seed that needs to go and it is to make those disciples and lastly the personal qualities of the counselor needs to be spiritual not just academic it's not only about how you can counsel or the knowledge that you possess and the techniques or the skills that you use but you need to be spiritually mature to be effective to also have a knowledge of God's word and wisdom in how it can be applied in practical different ways so those are some of the basic principles that are I think that is that is more that's more in the next slide okay um okay do you have any questions we'll come this till next I won't finish it any questions yeah yeah go like when we are seeing this basic principles so for point three praying prayer is an integral part um at the ending you told like it is an integral part but timing is important you mentioned so is it like there is like certain time or as like every day like my question is like you have also mentioned like every end of the counseling will be great but also you have mentioned like timing yeah I'll tell you I'll tell you what it I'll tell you what it means now now your client is saying something to you okay and you don't know what to say it's okay come let's pray okay that's what I meant by timing okay in the sense of and I think a lot of us do that when we don't know what to do which is true which is right when you don't know what to do it's a god we don't know what to do let's pray but maybe when if you if you don't have a person who's who knows anything about prayer they think something's wrong with your head right when you and they're saying you know my husband's gonna kill me okay come let's pray together they'll they'll know what's wrong so there are certain that's what I meant by timing like at a point of time they're crying or you know they really want your support that's what they're looking for you but at that point of time if you've gone into prayer it does it's not an effective time that's that's basically what it means okay all right any other thoughts any other questions the fourth point and this ultimate goal of counseling is to make disciples so will this imagine a non-believer or a gentile came to us they were just going through a very hard situation how come how come is this goal correct like to make the disciple so yeah so I did say that it may not be something that you will achieve with everyone you meet that is they become disciples of Jesus right but for those who are within like if you are especially counseling someone who's a believer that is the goal to make them more like Christ right for those who aren't believers the goal is to at least get them to hear about him but there isn't finally there is an ultimate goal for everyone for any one of our ministry whatever we're doing even if I'm just going to walk out and talk to others the goal is one that they will know Christ and once they know Christ they will be his disciples right so this is this is a lot more focused on those who may be believers to ensure that they they are disciples of Christ through whatever situation or problem they may come in okay all right okay we'll close for a 10 minute break and we'll come back at 11 o'clock