 Well hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm your host Jonathan Asley of JonathanAsley.com and I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today. Our topic how to be more open with a man by leaning in. Okay we're gonna talk about this leaning in versus the leaning back. Really quickly if you're new to my YouTube channel please hit the subscribe button and hit the bell so you can be notified of new content. Okay we're gonna talk about how to be more open with men with a man by leaning in. Really quickly before we get started it happens to be some news I want to share with you and it's today is my birthday. So for our video today I got myself a little cupcake and I've got a little candle. I'm gonna make a wish. I'm gonna share some things with you that are personal and then I'm gonna get into how to be more open with a man. Happy birthday to me. In fact if you want to give me a birthday wish please post a comment below I'd be honored if you share it a wish with me and I'm gonna share I'm gonna tell you what my wish is at the end and I know that's breaking protocol but I think it's worth it. So my birthday actually this past week I did something for myself my birthday and I did a spiritual journey. I took some plant-based medicine to open myself up to a deeper level of consciousness and if you're not familiar with plant-based medicine just Google plant-based medicine. I'm not gonna share what it is publicly but I'm just gonna say that I had an amazing experience with the help of a shaman husband and wife to go deeper and one of the things I and it was about being open how can I be more open how can I be more open and one of the questions I asked the medicine was I'd like to have a message from Connor and for those who know me know that my 19-year-old son Connor passed away two years ago so and I and you know birthdays are kind of one of those times where I spent with him so I'm reflecting also a little bit about him as well but I asked him so one of the things I did was I asked his spirit for a message and the medicine responded and this was an amazing spiritual experience going inward journey and he gave me this great message he said and I said Connor what message do you have for me and he goes dad stop asking me this question I gave you the message already in fact you wrote a book about the message what the heck is self-love anyway what the heck is self-love anyway it's my book it's the t-shirt I'm wearing it's the picture there and it's the picture there he said look I gave you the message when I passed and that was to love on yourself and to love others to love on yourself and to love others and I sat with that and I recognized that his passing led me on a journey I began writing the book two months after he passed and I published it nine months after he passed and I began doing speaking gigs around the book I started to talk on podcasts and such and as I reflected more on this experience and what's great about my book it's a it's a personal develop it's a book about an invitation for a journey of personal development self-help and spiritual work is a daily practice and at the end of the book I share some of the great resources that I can think or that I believe have helped me and my invitation is to help you so again it's what the heck is self-love anyway there's a link to the book below to check it out but how does this relate to being more open to men well the fact is ladies if you want to be more open to a guy then you have to be more open to yourself and this is why I want to invite you to lean into yourself lean into yourself be careful this leaning back conversation because the terminology of leaning back now I understand if you're in a relationship and you've crossed the 50 yard line okay so a relationship should be met at the 50 yard line if you've crossed the 50 yard line as he's hanging out the 20 then yes come back to center but I'm here to say lean into being present lean into your sovereignty lean into your self-worth lean into your self confidence and if you've not wanted to know how to lean in then I invite you to read some of the amazing books that I recommend one of which and this is my Bible it's called the untethered soul by Michael Singer the untethered soul by Michael Singer I want you to lean into this book it's gonna help you talk to the voices in your head because the voices in your head is oftentimes what sabotages your relationship with men whoa the voices in my head could be sabotaging my relationships with men yes this is why you have to check out this book along with if you're not familiar with the four agreements you have to check this out and become a master at the four agreements because if you want to be in relationship with another human being you have to begin a real amazing relationship with yourself and so this message Connor gave me about self-love was really about really opening myself up and that's my invitation for you is to become more open and receptive to love by loving on yourself because if you lean into yourself you're going to be become a magnetic attractor for attracting a great guy into your life this is why if you're not familiar this isn't the book this is the CD I got as a gift return to love by Marianne Williamson return to love by Marianne Williamson please get this book because it's about remembering your divine goddess and God within you that divine person within you and return back to love and approach the dating process from a more compassionate place for yourself and for others and so when Connor gave me the message it was really simple he said loving on yourself is the antidote to being open and receptive to love hence why I'm part of the self-love club and I want you to be part of the self-love club that club is first get my book okay I've been pitching my book a lot but it's my birthday cut me some slack so I think you get the gist of this I want to suggest though that it's not about loving yourself 100% it's about continually working on oneself and then choose a partner that's doing the same look I've said in previous videos there's only 5% of the male population or female population that is really transcended their healing that's the the mother Teresa's and Gandhi's of the world and certainly there's the Jeffrey Jammers and the Lizzie Borden's of the world we're not looking for that five to ten percent most everybody's in the middle but what I'm saying is choose a partner that's leaning towards improving on themselves that's doing introspective work that's that's that's emotionally mature and if you're not familiar with my video on emotional maturity check out the video somewhere below here it's the five signs of emotional maturity one of which is those men that take personal responsibility for those choice their choices back to my coaching program I'll shoot a video on this the five questions to ask a man before you give your heart that's going to be coming up soon so definitely be on the lookout for that hit the subscribe button so you make sure you get it but that's my invitation for you is to become more open within yourself so you don't sabotage yourself with men because when you're loving on yourself you are a magnetic attractor to really great things in your life and I say this as a testament to my own life because despite all the tragedy and up evil I've had in the last few years I've also drawn in some amazing blessings and that is the awareness of love is the antidote self love is the antidote to all inner suffering and I've recommended these books so you can feel good about yourself you can feel lovable you can feel likable and you'll be more open to men because you've leaned in got it okay I said I was gonna share what my birthday wish with I've got two which I think is really important to here my wish is for you to love on yourself so much that you become that magnetic attractor that's my first wish and my second wish is to call in my soulmate yes I'm calling in my soulmate in fact I it realized that my YouTube channel is a great venue to reach out to women to see who I am and maybe you can start your own YouTube channel so men can see you wouldn't that be great if more people get to see who we are then we're not strangers to anyone and that's really the challenge with dating is when we meet strangers it's hard to break that barrier in fact I'm gonna shoot another video about how to see those amazing high quality guys when you understand this one secret how to bring back those strong masculine men but yes that's my wish for myself is to call in my soulmate I mean I'm ready for you you are welcome to knock on my door drop the hanky I will put in the effort if you meet me on the 50 yard line I'm gonna meet you on the 50 yard line so that's my wish for myself today it's my birthday happy birthday to Jonathan and feel free to leave me a birthday message as well alright I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do first off giving myself a big gigantic Jonathan bear hug I'm gonna give you a gigantic by the way I'm giving myself a gigantic Jonathan bear hug of self-love I'm giving you a hug of love I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone and give them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and we can all use more love in our lives thank you so much wishing you a super duper wonderful fantastic day thanks bye bye now