 Hey, Psych2Goers! Welcome back to another video. Have you ever wondered whether you're being manipulative? A study on non-Macavellian manipulation suggests that in order for manipulation to occur, there needs to be a combination of intent and recklessness. Essentially, it's to strategically get someone to do or think something without addressing it directly. What is interesting is that sometimes you can be unintentionally manipulative. This means that you're not aware of how you're influencing someone else's behavior. So, to show you what unintentional manipulation may look like or how you might come across it, here are five signs that you may be unintentionally manipulative. 1. Saying that you'll do everything yourself Do you purposefully take on more responsibility than you're able to handle? While saying that you'll do things on your own may sound like you're being independent, it can also be a method of casting yourself as a martyr to induce guilt into others. For example, announcing that you'll go and clean the bathroom even though you've cleaned the rest of the house may be a way for you to imply that no one in the house cares enough about you to help. This may end up making others feel guilty even though they were not aware that you needed or wanted any help at all. This is why it's important to think about whether what you're saying is fair and reasonable and whether you can be more straightforward about your needs. 2. You make promises a lot Have you ever promised someone to treat them to a meal at their favorite restaurant in return for a favor? But then, don't follow through. Whether it's agreeing to attend your brother's birthday party or sharing a friend, you'll go with them to their doctor's appointment. Overpromising is another behavior that New York-based therapist, Irina Furstein, identifies as manipulative. When you make a promise to someone and don't uphold your end of the deal, this can leave the other person feeling deceived, angry, and less likely to trust you again in the future. 3. You give somebody the silent treatment Did you know that saying nothing can be emotionally coercive as well? Oftentimes, you may feel like the best option during an argument is to say nothing at all. The irony is that this behavior often comes from a place of hurt. New York-based psychotherapist Rebecca Hendricks says people are unknowingly manipulative when they use silence as a weapon. It's an ineffective way of dealing with the hurt. Rather than becoming radio-silent, a more effective solution may be to try to communicate to the other person how you feel and allow them to explain their behavior. This can potentially avoid resentments in the future. 4. You have distinct patterns in your language Do you exaggerate how you feel sometimes to get others to sympathize with you? Psychotherapist Jennifer Silverstein says that you can often see a pattern in those who are being unintentionally manipulative. An example of this may be when you're not feeling well. You may describe it as the worst illness in the whole world, despite it not being completely realistic or true. The use of catastrophic language and exaggeration can come across as manipulative, especially if you're expecting others to respond to you in a certain way, such as to become sympathetic to what you're going through. 5. You find yourself embellishing or twisting the facts of a situation Psychotherapist Jennifer Silverstein stated that unintentional manipulation can show up and exaggerating the facts. An example of this may be that you have an early morning appointment at the hospital at 9 in the morning, but may say to other people that you have an appointment at 7.30 in the morning, because technically, that is the time you have to get up in order to get to the appointment on time. This can evoke empathy from others, which may make you feel better about your situation. Do you relate to any of these signs? If so, this may be the first step in learning to be aware and mindful of how you affect other people. If you found this video helpful, be sure to like and share this video with those who might benefit from it. Don't forget to subscribe and hit the notification bell icon to get notified whenever Psych2Go posts a new video. The references and studies used in this video are added in the description below. Thanks for watching and we'll see you in our next video.