 Today is June 14th Actually tonight it's like Yeah, it's definitely night right now But I'm about to give my baby his first herbal bath and I was like Let's record it. So here I am y'all see how red my eyes are and the bags That I'm wearing right now That's because I'm not getting any rest and I am tired y'all I'm so tired. Oh, he's waking up What's wrong? You knew I was about to wake you up, huh? Yeah, tell me hurting. Yeah, but I'm about to I'm about to Get him ready for his bath I don't know what I'm looking for. I don't know how much space I have on this camera So I'm gonna try not to record too long because I don't want it to shut off But this is Oh, that is hot very very hot. I don't know why I thought that was in Stainless too This is their herb's hair steeping It's literally just chamomile rose petal and lavender simple and soothing for the baby and Yes, I know The tub is pink It was brand new and it was a gift from somebody not really a gift But she had a baby months ago had a brand new tub never used it and she gave it to me. So I Took it. I don't know about this thing here though. It's pretty high. I thought I was supposed to sit a little lower So Maybe I could adjust it so that it goes down lower But yeah, he's about to have his first herbal bath He's up. Let's see if I can position the camera Make this a nice little video. I don't know. I'm not a blogger or anything like that Wow Because it's getting late and I'm tired and I also need to take a shower and Do my other stuff. It is the full moon tonight, which is why I'm doing them doing the I'm not trying to cover nursing him. I'm covering his head from the fan Beating my baby, but tonight is a full moon. So that's why I'm doing their herbal bath tonight positive energy and positive vibration on his pray over him pretty much very rough past couple days I just I just want to kind of cleanse the space and cleanse him From the last thing I can't do it any night for the same purpose, but it just makes it more powerful Babies have gas it is not fun at all. Okay these past few nights Being up with him. Gassy is just That's why I have these bags under my eye. Like I'm tired y'all like really tired Mosquito bit me on my face. I think I'm gonna His stomach hurts like if I put him in a certain position He does not like that. It's almost like his his belly is like sensitive to the touch So you don't want like pressure on his belly so when he When he's really gassy, you don't even want to lay on my chest. I'll be right back when I get him in tough so my big mistake was making this Infusion way too hot because I'm like adding water and I don't go water and it's not Getting warm enough and I don't want to burn up my baby skin so I have it here and I'm just gonna start by Wiping him down a little bit I'll make sure it's not too hot But it's okay. We got it done We're gonna you actually have a lot extra so I'm gonna do me a nice little herbal bath to When I go take a shower Soar It's full. It's just like soon as you touch it. You're staring at me like I love it I'm gonna he's not even let me dress him. I'm gonna have to nurse him first He's like no, I waited long enough. I noticed lately like when he's really tired And he wants that comfort of me putting him to rest he He would start up like he rarely ever cries but lately he's like Yeah, you need to come here right now because I'm tired and I don't want to put myself to rest so Come today this afternoon when I was trying to get ready to leave the house I went to take a quick shower and literally as soon as I stepped foot in the shower he Had like he just started out first. It started as him like just whining here and there and then it was just Pure falling down the place He don't even cry loud because Nobody outside of this room that is really hearing him cry and with my second son As soon as he saw crying you could hear him down the house like the whole house So he don't really cry loud and he really don't like to cry But when he when I'm taking too long and he had it He could start up And he did that today. Maybe I should just end the video because ain't nothing excited about to happen right now Whenever he's finished, I'm gonna dress him. It's literally just apricot oil and lavender Literally that's it massage him down with that Saturated, but I just do a couple sprays spray spray spray is literally just Lavender hydrosol rose hydrosol Jasmine hydrosol and durian So this is just a hydrosol mix and there's a palo cento stick in here with Lavender and clear parts That's my little homemade Florida water for I think he's finally finished. I'm gonna try and burp him Kind of throw up a little bit. So I don't know if he needs to burp Move this with five break hits. I'm not even a lie. Like I'm mentally exhausted more than anything I'll ask you days Frustrated I think a lot of it is from being so exhausted and the next part of it is just from My situation I'm just trying to move on like How I usually deal with things in the past is that I just try and block it on my head Forget it and move on act like it never happened And I can't do that this time. Like I have I'm literally forced to face every motion every feeling every thought every memory just everything and Some days, I just want to shut it off and not think or feel anything and that sounds bad, but like that's Just how tired I am and then on top of that Just having to deal with three children right now It's a lot. A lot of times. I just want to lock myself in the room and just be alone for like an hour maybe it's just hard It's really Hard and I got a key reminded myself that everything is still very fresh and I have to give myself time Patient with myself like I literally had a breakdown the other night Like I was I think I was crying for like two hours Because I saw something on social media that posted and just so tired. I'm tired That's not what this video is about. So I'm gonna go dress my baby To get some rest before he starts up again And maybe I'll be back and maybe I won't see See he's ready for bed. He wants to go to bed. He's tired