 The Jack Benny program, presented by Lucky Strike. Do you, do da, do da, do da, do you, do da, do da, do da, Do it, be happy, go lucky, be happy, Get better taste, be happy, go lucky, Get better taste today. Friends, tear and compare. See for yourself that luckies are made better to taste better. From a newly opened pack, take a cigarette made by any other manufacturer. Carefully tear a thin strip of paper straight down the seam from end to end and gently remove the tobacco. In tearing, be sure not to loosen or dig into the tobacco. Now, do exactly the same with a Lucky Strike. Then compare. Some cigarettes are too loosely packed, some even fall apart. But look at that lucky. See how it stays together. A perfect cylinder of fine, mild tobacco, so round and firm and fully packed, so free and easy on the draw. Now, what does this mean to you as a smoker? It means your Lucky is free of excessive air spaces, hot spots that burn harsh and dry, and those annoying loose ends that spoil the taste. And because your Lucky has long strands of fresh, clean, good tasting tobacco, it burns evenly, smoke smooth and mild. Yes, tear and compare. Prove to yourself that luckies are made better to taste better. Then make your next carton Lucky Strike. The Lucky Strike program starring Jack Benny with Barry Livingston, Filaris Rochester, Dennis Day, the sportsman Quartet and yours truly down below. And now, ladies and gentlemen, let's go out to Jack Benny's home in Beverly Hills where we find Rochester working as usual. I sure have a lot to do. Every day is the same thing. Work, work, work. Car polish. I wouldn't mind but I never seem to get finished. Got to do the dishes though. It's much against my wages. You're a slob, Paul. Got to do the shopping. Mr. Benny keeps me hopping. You're a slob, Paul. He's gonna wind up in a frigazine. Rochester. Rochester, what are you doing to Polly? Nothing, boss. Oh, Rochester, bring me a screwdriver, will you please? Yes, sir. Here you are, boss. Thank you. I just have to tighten this last screw and I'll have the phonograph all fixed. But, boss, this phonograph has been broken for months. Why are you so anxious to fix it? Because Dennis Day sent over a record that he made, especially for me to hear. Yeah, I can't understand what's wrong with this phonograph. I'd try to fix it once before. Well, boss, maybe if I took this and I... Oh, Rochester, now look what you've done. You knocked the horn off. And you tipped over the dog, too. Watch it, will you, kid? I'm sorry, boss. Let's take another look at the motor and see what's wrong. Okay. Hey, wait a minute. Here's a loose wire. I see where it's supposed to go. I'll just take it and put it in. Pull out the plug! Pull out the plug! Pull out the plug! Pull out the plug! Pull out the plug! Boy, what a shock I got. I bet my hair is standing on end. Should I go in your bedroom and see? Don't be funny. There, the wire sticks. Put in the plug and we'll play some other record before we put on Dennis's. What have we got in the album? Let's see. I'm forever blowing bubbles. Dardanella. The Sheikah's Aerody. Keep the home fires burning. Cook it to Katie. And after the ball is over. No, I don't want to spoil those. Play some of the older ones. Go ahead. Boss, any record older than these are on cylinders. Oh, well, put some of these on. I want to try it out. Yes, sir. Shall I put in the new needle? Oh, no, Rochester. See, the needle we have was guaranteed to play a thousand records, and we only used it 873 times. What on memory? Memory nothing. Count the notches on the side of the phonograph. Now let's turn it on. Come in. Oh, hello, Mary. Hello, Jack. You told me you'd go and take me to the boss baseball game, and I came over and you're not even ready. Well, I'll be ready in a minute. Why are you fooling around with that phonograph? Because Dennis sent me a record of the song he's going to sing on the program. I want to hear it, and this darn thing is broken again. Oh, Jack, why don't you get rid of that old piece of junk and buy a new one? Oh, Mary, this phonograph isn't so old. Go on, Edison's fingerprints are still on it. What? And she means Edison the boy. Oh, stop. Now look, Mary, if I want antiques in my house, that's my business. You and your antique. You ought to have your whole house done over. Done over? Yes. Did you watch television yesterday and see what they've done to the White House? How beautiful they've made it. Yeah, I saw it. See, I thought that tour through the White House was very interesting, but there was one thing I couldn't get over. What was that? Well, there's a doctor's office right in the White House, and 24 hours a day, a doctor and a staff are always on duty. Well, that's right, Jack. President Truman has his own personal doctor. Well, that's what I'm getting at. Wouldn't it be cheaper if he belonged to the Blue Cross? You would think of that. What? I thought it was wonderful the way the entire nation was invited to the White House, and President Truman even played the piano. What'd he play, Miss Limson? When you say I beg your pardon, then I'll come back. He did not. Did he? No, no, of course not. Hey, boys, I think I fixed the photograph. Good, good. Well, come on, Jack, if we're going to the ball game, let's get started. In a minute, I want to hear Dennis' record. Rochester, put Dennis' record on. Yes, sir. What song is it, Jack? Well, Dennis made a special recording for me to hear. It's Irving Berlin's new song called For the Very First Time. Play it, Rochester. For the very first time I find for the first time Over here I know that The last time Everything else Love affair Preparing Hey, Mary, that new Irving Berlin song was very good, and I never heard Dennis in better voice. Well, I thought he was swell. I thought I was wonderful. Dennis, when did you get here? Well, my record was on. Well, why didn't you say something? When Dennis says things, nobody interrupts. Dennis, I was... Just a second, everybody wants to get into the act. How do you like that? Dennis. It's a catastrophe. Now cut that out! And take off that bloody nose. Now, Dennis, why did you send me a record if you were coming over here anyway? I thought I wouldn't be able to come. I got Durandian for nothing. I was supposed to go to Nevada and some secret government work. You? That's why you didn't come here? You were going to Nevada for secret government work. What were you supposed to do? Just stand still. Why? They were going to drop a bomb on me. Dennis, that's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard. You're just mad because they didn't ask you. Yeah, yeah, I'm mad. Jack, let's go or we'll be late for the ball game. All right, come on. Gosh, it's hot out today. It certainly is. I'll say. This morning my uncle fried an egg on the sidewalk. What? Dennis, you mean your uncle... Mary, Mary, let it alone. But Jack, he said... I know what he said. He said his uncle fried an egg on the sidewalk. Yesterday he fried an egg on the sidewalk too. Really? Mary, I'm warning you. The day before that my uncle fried an egg on the sidewalk too. Well, it's been hot all week. Yeah, yeah, so he fried eggs on the sidewalk. My uncle hoped it rains tomorrow. Why? For a change he'd like poached eggs. Mary, I ask you... Look, Dennis, Mary and I are going to the ball game. Do you want to go with us or not? I'd like to but I can't. Good, good. Come on, Mary, let's go to the game. Playing today. Los Angeles and Seattle. Let's see, we have seats one and two aisle 15. Where's aisle 15? I don't know. Why don't you ask the usher? No, I can't. I can find it. Come on. Mary, here's aisle 15. But I don't see our seats. Jack, why don't you ask an usher? I'm not going to ask anybody. I always get into arguments with usher. Besides, I... Wait a minute. There are seats. He looks like somebody's sitting in them. You wait here. I'll go and ask him to leave. Okay. Excuse me, mister. But I think you're sitting in my... Hi, room. Oh, oh, nice seeing you again. Same here. Shake. Sure. Don't squeeze too hard. That's my milken hand. No, I'm sorry. You come all the way from Calabasas just to see the ball game? No. I had to come in on business from a farm. Business? Yeah. Came in to buy a new incubator to hatch our chicks. Incubator, huh? Yeah. I don't go for them new-fangled things myself, but my wife insisted we get one. She did? And she said she was tired of taking the eggs to bed with us. Oh. Personally, I like it. You wake up in the morning feeling like a mother. Well, I wouldn't know about that. Now, look, there seems to be some mix-up here. I think you're sitting in my seat. No. Well, I'm in the right seat. Well, look at my ticket stub. Let's see. Seats one and two, aisle 15. Wait a minute. This is the left aisle 15. You want the right aisle? Oh, yes. Yes, my mistake. Well, I better be getting along. The game will be just about... Just a minute. I'd like to have you meet my wife. Your wife? Yeah. Honey, this is Jack Benny. Well, how do you do? Hello, handsome. I'm very happy to meet you. Well... This... This is your wife? Yeah. Ain't as much of a hit as you thought I was. I'll say you're not. Well, goodbye. So long, Ruth. Jack, what happened? They weren't our seats. This is the left side of the park. Our's on the right side. Come on, let's hurry. The Seattle team is coming out on the field. Put on your glasses. That's Don Wilson. Oh, hello, Don. Hello, Jack. Mary. Hello, Don. Do you come to the games often? Oh, Mary, I haven't missed a game this season. I love baseball. He sure does, Mary. You know, Don used to play with Denver. That's before he went into radio. Right, Mary. I played baseball for three years. What position? I covered center for you. You ain't kidding. Don. Hey, Don. Don't worry about the time you won the game when you slid into home play. Oh, Jack, I'd rather not have embarrassed. I don't blame you. Tell me, did they ever find that catcher? What a mess that was. You know, I'll ever forget. Hey, I think the game is going to start pretty soon. Uh, uh, Jack, what are they booing about? Well, the umpires are coming out on the field. People always do that. Yeah. Hey, look, Don. Those umpires are walking over to the field, Mike. Maybe they got an important announcement to make. Let's listen. We get an icy stare. You've agreed our decisions with tears and derision, but nobody seems to care. We may be homely, but that's not the reason we're lonely. Although you may doubt us, you can't play without us, so why don't you treat a pair? When you are sitting up in the stands, puffing a lucky and feeling brand, consider the man who gets all the lumps, are we chumped to be humped? The jeers and the booze never bother me, because I know how happy I'm gonna be. For soon he'll be home in his easy chair enjoying a lucky sky. Everyone loves a lucky, and luckies will freeze your friends, so get on the ball and let's see that you all get the smoke that has no loose ends. Everyone loves a lucky, there's no better smoke that's true. Just care and compare, and we know you'll declare that it's time to try a lucky, the smoke you will light. Hey, say, Don. Don, you put those umpires up to that, didn't you? Yes, I did, Jack. You know, Don, you're fat but cute. Well, I'll be seeing you later. Oh, by the way, Don, would you happen to know where Right Isle 15 is? I don't, Jack, why don't you ask an usher? Never mind, we'll find it ourselves. Come on, Mary. Okay. Attention, ladies and gentlemen, the batteries for today's game for Seattle, Kinsfather and Shams for Los Angeles, Chandler and Lades. You know, Mary, this could really be a great game. Hot dogs, hey, I'll get you a hot tea. Hey, Jack, before we sit down, how about getting some hot dogs? Well... Oh, come on, Jack. You only live once. Gee, I never thought of it that way. Well, all right, say, fellow. Yeah? How much are your hot dogs? 25 cents each. Hmm. 25 cents? How come they're so high? Well, it's this way. Recently, the price has still went up, so when a farmer's buy a plow to raise corn, he has to pay more money for the plow. Then the cattle and hog breeders have to pay more money for the corn which they use for feed. Then the meat packing houses have to pay more money for the meat. And this price raise is ultimately passed on to the consumer. The same thing holds true for the flour they use to make the rolls. So since the price of the rolls and the meat have both gone up, the price of hot dogs is 25 cents. I was prepared for you this year, Mr. Benny. Look, last year you drove me nuts with your dickering. Look, fellow. Hey, don't you never buy nothing without getting sealed bids? Never mind that. Just give me two hot dogs. Okay. What do you want on them? Yeah, I don't know. What have you got on those? Everything. I just dropped them. What? Well, then give me two fresh ones. Okay, here you are. Thanks. That'll be 50 cents. Let me see. Have you got change for a $20 bill? Yeah, I'm prepared for that one, too. Never mind. Just give me my change. Here you are. Hot dogs, hot dogs. Get your red hat. Come on, Mary. Let's find our seat. Attention, please. There has been a change in the batteries for Seattle. Nagy will pitch instead of Kinsfather. Just a minute, Mary. I think this is the aisle we want. No, we're 15 and this is 24. Oh, for heaven's sake, Jack. Why don't you add... Well, hiya, Livy. Oh, hello, Phil. Taking the old man to the ballgame, eh? Hiya, Rub. Hey, Livy, ate you a little early for Father's Day? Well, you can stop with those cracks about my age already. You're not exactly a boy scout yourself. Well, look, Jackson, at least I don't lie about my age. I say I'm 36, I'm 36. A likely story. Well, if you don't believe me, look at my union card. It says I'm 36. Phil, I wouldn't believe your union card. Why not? It also says you're a musician. Come on, Mary. Let's find our seat. Would you like to sit with us, Phil? No, Livy, I can't. See, I'm here with some of my boys. They've got Kemic, Bremly, and Bagby. Oh. Hey, Jackson. You came about, Sammy, my drummer. Yeah, when will he be out? You mean he's in again? Yeah, yeah, Livy, but it wasn't his fault this time. He just happened to step into a clothing store to buy a new suit. Sammy tried on a snappy gray number and liked the way it fit him. The trouble started when he stepped outside to see how the suit looked in the sunlight. Why should that start trouble? Well, it was cloudy here, but the suit's the Palm Springs. You see, Mary, it wasn't Sammy's fault. Yeah, it could happen to anybody. Anyway, Jackson, we'll have to do without him for a while. Well, frankly, Phil, I can't say this. Ladies and gentlemen, the first game of today's doubleheader will be nine innings. The second game will be seven innings. Come on, Jack. We better find our seat. The game's about to begin. Okay, see you later, Phil. Hey, wait a minute, Jackson. How about a small bet on the game? A bet? Yeah, I'll take Seattle for $100. $100? Well, that's too much to bet on anything. You wouldn't really bet that much, would you? Sure, I would. Why, once five years ago, I bet $1,000 that Alice had more money than Bing Crodby. Gosh, did you win? I don't know. They're both still counting. Oh, well, never mind the bet, Phil. See you later. So long, Phil. So long, Kit. Come on, Mary. Wait a minute. Here's our aisle. No, that's 35. We must be going in the wrong direction. Well, this is absolutely ridiculous. If you're not going to ask an usher, I am. Look, Mary, they always have some smart alec guys here who are... I don't care. I'm going to ask him anyway. Oh, Usher. Yes, Miss? Uh, here are Stubbs. Can you tell us where our seats are? I'm awfully sorry, Miss. This is my first day here, and I don't really know my way around yet. Oh. But that's the head usher right over there. I'm sure he can help you. Yeah, I guess they must have changed all the Usher since last year. They're so much nicer now. I'll go over and ask the head usher. Pardon me. Are you the head usher? Whoever! I knew it. I knew it. Come on, Mary. Let's get out of here. Jack, don't be a coward. Ask him. Okay. Look, Usher, can you tell me where my seat is? Right behind you, isn't everybody? That doesn't. Come on, Mary. I don't want to get into any more trouble with Usher. Well, Jack, it's your own fault. Maybe you impaganize it. I do not! You do too! You keep out of it! Pack it up! Okay, okay. Okay. Mary, here are two empty seats right here. Let's sit down. The first batter for Seattle is Pavlik. Say, Jack... Quiet, Mary. Here comes the first pitch. Get her right! Boy, he really grew that one in. You know, Mary, in this league, he's one of the best... Why is the catcher holding the ball? Why doesn't he throw it back? I don't know. Everybody seems to be looking out for it. Ladies and gentlemen, time is called momentarily. There's a man frying eggs on third base. How do you like that? That must be Dennis's uncle. Yeah. Play ball! See, that pitcher's got a great wind up. Where did it go? Where did it go? Jack, look out! You get the water. I'll stay here and slap his face. Jack, get up, Jack. I'll take you home. Oh... Oh, mister, would you help me carry him out, please? Sure, lady. I'll help you. Oh... Carry me past the box office. I want to get my money back. Hurry. Ladies and gentlemen, the Red Cross has moved quickly to meet pressing human needs resulting from Missouri and Mississippi floods. Funds from the annual Red Cross campaign will be insufficient for the current disaster needs. So please help the flood victims by sending your contribution to your local Red Cross chapter. Thank you. Jack will be back in just a moment, but first... Do you suit up, do a suit up, do you suit up to study? Be happy. Go lucky. Get better taste today. Friends, you can tear and compare and see with your own eyes how luckies are made better to taste better. From a newly open pack, take a cigarette made by any other manufacturer. Carefully tear a thin strip of paper straight down the seam from end to end and gently remove the tobacco. In tearing, be sure to not loosain sure not to loosen or dig into the tobacco. Now, do exactly the same with a lucky strike. Then compare. You'll see some cigarettes have too many broken shreds and small bits of tobacco giving you those annoying loose ends that spoil the taste. But you won't find that in a lucky. Just look at that perfect cylinder of fine, mild tobacco. So round, so firm, so fully packed, so free and easy on the draw. Notice those long strands of fresh, clean, good tasting tobacco that smoke smooth and even that give you a milder, better tasting cigarette. Yes, friends, tear and compare. Prove to yourself that luckies are made better to taste better. Then make your next carton lucky strike. Do you do that to study? Be happy. Go lucky. Go lucky strike today. Boss, boss, where are you? I'm in the den, Rochester, listening to the ball game on the radio. I didn't get to see it. Oh, well, I thought maybe. Quiet, quiet. Baker is up to bat. The pitcher winds up, delivers. It's a long, long fly going towards left field. Looks like a home run. Yes, it's going over the fence. It's still going, going, going. Ooh. Speak to me. Say something. Good night, folks. The back running program is brought to you by Lucky Strike, product of the American Tobacco Company, America's leading manufacturer of cigarettes. This is the CBS radio network.