 A few months ago, I don't know if you remember when there was a school shooting in Mansfield, Texas She called me. She'd call me terrified crying and she said mom. I went to go talk to My teacher my male teacher Because I felt secure about him, you know talking to him about it as she was walking to his room He was talking to another teacher telling the other teacher. I know There's a man that I would call doing this time, you know in you know back in the day and the teacher said well, you know You know, who was this man? He said Bishop Omar Jawa dealing with the loss of your husband with two years has passed now I'll begin with the youngest the youngest is now 17 and so we've all entered into into therapy and She was the hardcore. I got this. I don't need nobody. I'm good So she started talking and started opening up just a little bit But here in the last month or so in the excuse me the last month She's had competitions to where she would finish her competition and she would have an anxiety attack so it would just it would just hit her like out of nowhere and She would just begin to weep and cry and I just want my daddy. I want my daddy I know when I perform when I graduate when I get married when I have my children My dad would never be a part of my life in the physical and so this is this is settling into her It's like a reality check. It's kind of coming like I'm I'm a year away from graduation I'm a year away from going into college and you know, I'm a few months away from getting my driver license and My dad is not here. So my 17 year old is really struggling But she's a hard worker. She she's the hardest But but as far as missing her dad, it's that I need him. I need to talk to him There are some questions that I want to ask and so she has father figures in her life But it's nothing like your dad Well, and so a few months ago I don't know if you remember when there was a school shooting in Mansfield, Texas Yeah, I remember she called me. She'd call me terrified crying and she said mom I went to go talk to My teacher my male teacher Because I felt secure about him, you know talking to him about it as she was walking to his room He was talking to another teacher telling the other teacher. I know There's a man that I would call doing this time, you know And you know back in the day and the teacher said well, you know, you know, who is this man? He said Bishop Omar Jawa not knowing that our daughter was outside of his door Needing to talk to him about what was going on because all of the emotions was running high So she just burst out in tears and he was like I did had no idea, you know, that you were right here I wouldn't have you know, it was no, you know anything. So all of that had went on But just her needing and even like that 20 year old, she's about to be 21 I 26 year old 27 year old I son 28 all of them are still very much. I'm gonna say struggling and I don't you know I don't think any any one of us are on the other side of this healing. I think it's still a process because Right before my husband transitioned he was getting ready to go to an assistant living So we never thought about death. We never planned a funeral. We never planned to live without him And so when March 11th happened, it's like, okay. No, you have no choice. Hmm. I think you know When you look at his presence and like I said when I started to research him because I never knew him before All of this transpired when Corey came over here That was my first time ever hearing of him and and it's crazy because when he passed away I seen it on CNN that he had passed away and I seen his presence was big, you know Not just for you guys, but more so for you guys but for just The people who he pretty much touched he had influenced in a whole another level type of way And I think that's something that pretty much You know, it stuck with me So when I did get to talk with you or when I did get to set with you I definitely understood that it was a big deal for you and for your family having to be in the house now By yourself having to try to raise these kids and stuff by yourself But having a village that's fine, but they can't take the place of a Bishop Omar Okay, and it's the billboards up on the highways. You couldn't I seen the billboards, you know Like I said, I didn't know him before he passed but once he passed away I started to see this guy everywhere Well, I say before because the night before is when I met Corey and that's when he had told me about Bishop Omar He had sent me some stuff early on maybe a week before about everybody that was with OGU and yeah So he was trying to you know, he was trying to get me in there, but at any rate And I didn't you know, I did I was very much honored to be a part of even the ending process of Of what what all had been going on with OGU and just being there to see What you guys had accomplished man. It was great for me. So thank you guys for that You know, welcome. Thank you. Yeah, and then I came to the gala and y'all without y'all was fresh They was walking around, you know with the little old, you know smiles on their faces and Oh, yeah, they sitting in their seats and they're getting awards. You should have seen them. Did you see them? Okay, I enjoyed that too I really do it. I mean so and I met that that lady the one that came here that what was her name McKinley McKinley Dr. McKinley Okay. Yeah, you do you remember her? Not really. She's uh, she had a heck of a story. I don't even want to bring it up Whoo, but we just had some people sitting in that seat right there. You know But god, you know what I'm saying, you know, he's the one that can help us understand why the people come to us that god sent to us, you know um We uh, we definitely knew that how was it just going and dealing with the members of the church And having to try to I know you you've had some heels to climb. That's what that I that's just what I won't complain I've had some heels to climb. Yeah, she done had some heels to climb How was I mean, you know, didn't nobody I know a lot of folk left, you know Some folk get up and leave. They think they're doing something. You know what? I'm not fit to be in here with her I'm gonna get up and go. I don't have time for this And then they walk out and then next thing, you know, there's something happen. I call you. Hey, man, you know That they get convicted in the spirit. I didn't mean, you know, I had a week. Yeah, I'm it's all right So how how's that being like like dealing with the the members the ones who Stayed the course too, but also the ones that left that may have even came back How is it being dealing with the people that god had in you guys's life? Wow, that has really been tough Because my husband and I we're both we're both people people. So we are very social. We love hard We forgive easily And so just to have someone in your life one day in the next day, they're out Has been hard or they come back Or they'll they'll say something that you didn't say so it's all kind of stuff that's going on and But yet you're still having to get up and give him a word. Yeah Yeah, it's with loving kindness. Have you has he drawn us? And so Even with that you still have to I have to come out of Anita a lot And say god, I don't I don't want to bury Anita. I want to pick I want to pick Anita I want to wear Anita today. I want to put Anita hand on today god But I know I can't and um A few times I did now we're gonna be honest a few times I did step I stepped stepped into Anita. Yeah, uh, but for the majority apart. I had to uh, uh, eat Eat a lot of carpet and what I mean about it. I had to do a lot of praying Yeah, I had to do a lot of praying a lot of fasting a lot of going before god Uh, because people are really finicky one day they with you and the neck It ain't even the next day in the 30 seconds or 30 minutes later They would somebody else or they'll or they'll be with you privately And not publicly right And so when it came to the church, that's somehow how it was Like I sneak in or maybe I join zoom Or I just talked to you and just say i'm your member, but I won't show it publicly. Yeah, you know And it's like, uh, and then as soon as something will come into their life Then it's like you my pastor. Yeah, you know, and I'm like, I wasn't your pastor yesterday or last week or you know Uh, uh, so it it made it really difficult But at the end of the day, I know that I have to serve god and I have to serve his purpose Regardless of who's in it or who's not and god will reveal it You know, he'll reveal the real from the fake And so we're not going around. I wonder if she's with me or if one of these with me god god And I already said he not with you Yeah, or she not with you but I want you to still love them Exactly because you have to give them that word even when they're so called out with you If god sent them to you you have to remain that person that god Intend for you to be and give them that kind word all the time so that they can See the realness in you. You know what I mean? Because anywhere else they go, they might not be getting that They're gonna their eyes are gonna be open sooner or later. Anyway, you know, um Let me let me go Come on here In john the book of john he talks about, uh, jesus would tell them about he was the manna And they couldn't get that boy. They we abram seed, you know They were not trying to hear this But then they would say we we know we with moses, you know, they they wanted to understand But then they didn't want to go into the place where jesus was trying to connect them to him And he was saying i'm that manna I am that bread that was sent down from heaven and then six and 66 of john and say many of them turned back And they didn't follow him no longer and he looked at peter them in the 12 Decide they say will you leave me also and they said, uh Peter said to whom will we go? You know, he was quick to jab. He say I as the you are the you know, you are the christ, right? And you know in the pretty much you you know, you're the key to eternal life Is what he was alluding to and one thing I can say about that And after that they moved on but then i'm thinking about the fact that After jesus ended up going back To be on that cross when john was standing there and the mom and the mother and and all this was happening Right then these people was coming around and and and looking and he was a mockery to them Did some of these same people? I guarantee it the Pharisees and the scribes and a whole group of all the stuff that was going on Then fast forward to him dying and then Resurrecting and all this good stuff happens Then peter ends up at the gate of beautiful and many getting saved in acts and you start to see all them come back All i'm saying is this is the part of what goes on when you're dealing with god That's right people leave people come people go people move There's problems. There's issues and all of these things are happening because this is life Real so we just got to be dealing with it Am i right you're right But it's easier said than done And when you think you got it all back together now anonymizing safari shows up and start lying to the holy ghost And we still have an issues with this August panel this church these people that have been put together three thousand would say but there are still issues Yeah, and this is a part of who we serve. We serve god And this is a part of it. So when I hear you talking about that I understand that these are the things that show us that this stuff builds us as well, right? Paul said my strength He he god had told him my strength is perfected in your weakness. Yeah, so when you go through things that make you Uh, get into anita, but didn't get out of anita. This is a part of that thorn. You see You don't get in anita. I fell in anita. Then I got out I was right back in the spirit because this is what we do man, but it makes us stronger Right, right, right. So I thank god for that man the relationship the personal relationship with god is what Holds us on right. So I thank god for that. You know what I mean? This might be one of the only shows where we put jesus first, you know what? I mean, uh, I don't know I don't know. I just know we we don't care about acting a fool one day And then come back and jesus sitting right here with us. He said, you know what? I never leave you nor forsake you You know what i'm saying? And even though he was acting up. We still love you. Yeah And that's just a part of you you know, been anita I haven't been here outside. I'm been and then i'm still with I still love god still love god I'm like peter. I'm still a rock Even though I was messing up. I'm still a rock. Yeah Yeah, we on boss talk one on one