 I need the pain caused by the narcissist. When does the pain finally end? When does the emotional distress finally go away? Most of what causes you to be locked into experiencing the constant pain and emotional distress is your hope. You remain hopeful that things might get better. You remain hopeful that they might change. You have a feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen. Your emotions feed into this feeling of hope. It makes you want to stick around. Because you are hoping that maybe things will get better or maybe they will change. This can cause you to overlook what is happening in the present moment. Because your focus is on the potential outcome or results in the future. Take away your hope. Come to a place of acceptance. Believe and recognize that nothing is going to get better with a narcissist. And they are never going to change. Take away your hope and accept this. And you will find that these emotions begin to fade. When you make the final and soon decision that you are done with a narcissist, they can no longer affect your emotions. You are no longer connected or attached to them. It serves that emotional tie, but you have to be serious about it. You have to stop expecting anything to change or get better. You have to stop expecting anything from them or the situation. Once you take away that belief of something happening, it takes the focus off of them and puts it back on you rather than directing your emotions outwards towards a feeling of hope and expectation of the narcissist. Once you have made this decision to disconnect or detach from them and sever the emotional tie, you have to be serious about this decision. You can't just cut contact and still be holding on to the feeling of hope and expectation that maybe they will come back and want to resolve things. This needs to be the end of any engagement or interaction. Any situation or involvement with the narcissist. That doesn't mean the narcissist will just go away. They have to witness your decision to see that you're not just taking a break from them. You're not just trying to punish them. They have to witness your decision to see that you really mean it and that you're not going to allow anything that they do to affect you emotionally. At this point, you will no longer remain or exist in the narcissist's fake world or alternate reality. They might stalk and try to get back in with you. They might act as though they suddenly realise and understand everything that they've done wrong. They might try to make you believe that they have changed. But if you have taken away that feeling of hope and expectation of anything better from them or of them changing, you are not going to entertain that idea or belief. You are not going to fall for that idea or suggestion which has no real backing or support. It's just something that they think you might want to hear. But they have no plans to make any reality when the narcissist can no longer get a reaction out of you. They will become desperate. They have a great need or desire to get you to react to them and when they can't get a reaction out of you. They have a last ditch or a last resort. This is often their final course of action used only when all else has failed. It is often serious or dangerous and it is their last chance to really cause damage or put an end to you. This is where they will really put your emotions to the test and do some of the most sick twisted things you could ever imagine. All with the intention of getting a reaction out of you. They will go to some of the most unexpected extremes to re-secure you as a source of supply. They do not like the thought or the idea of losing. They will do whatever they have to do to prevent that from happening regardless of how it affects you or anyone else around them. In their minds they have to believe that you need them. It's their arrogance and audacity. Their exaggerated sense of their own abilities and importance. Deep down they feel inadequate as though they're not good enough for you. So they have to get you to believe that you need them and make you depend on them in some way so that you can reflect the belief that you do need them and it makes it more believable for them if they can get you to believe it and deep down they feel insecure. So they have to have power over you and control the environment around them to create this false sense of security and control. But once you have made the final decision in your heart and mind that you want nothing to do with them, nothing they do is going to work. Nothing they do is going to make you want to be involved with them again. Once you have made the decision to separate yourself from them everything that they do will only push you away even more. It will only make you want to be as far away from them as possible. You will come to the realisation and understanding of just how sick and twisted these people really are. Their dysfunctional behaviours will only push you away even more. The pain and emotional distress will not end until you have completely emotionally disconnected or detached from them and you must take away the feeling of hope and expectation of anything improving or of them changing even if you're wanting to get revenge. That is still connecting them to you. They don't care if you give them negative attention. It still makes them feel as though they are something significant or important to you. You want to get rid of them. You want to get them out of your life once you sever the emotional ties and show them that you are not going to respond to anything they try to do to manipulate you. It's over and they know it's over. They know that they are not going to be able to manipulate you again. They might continue to do their little tactics. Narcissists are known for doing the same thing again and again and expecting a different result. It's the only thing they know how to do to deliberately cause you to believe something that is not true or to give you a mistaken impression for their own personal gain. They have no power of their own. They have to trick or manipulate you into giving your power to them and this is done by them causing you to believe something that is not true or giving you a mistaken impression. If they can lead you into doing that then you have just handed your power over to them but if they can no longer trick you into falling for their lies and illusions you will hold all of your power which will leave them completely powerless. If they can't get an emotional response out of you and they can't hurt you there is nothing they can do to have power over you. They will be forced to give up and move on especially if they have done certain damaging or reckless acts and they know that you will never see them the same way after them doing that. They will move on to easier targets who are more vulnerable or susceptible to their manipulation. They will focus their time and attention on them instead. They only stick around when they believe that you still have a feeling of hope that things will get better or that they might change. Once you take away the hope they know they can't come back after that. Once they see that you are resisting them or you have no interest in them they are not going to fight to get you back. They are not going to endure any struggles to overcome or prevent your resistance or disinterest towards them. Once they see that they're not getting any emotional reactions out of you they will fade away if they can still hurt you and make you jealous. If they can still irritate you and make you angry or upset they will stick around. But once you take away the hope and they can no longer emotionally affect you it's a waste of their time and energy. They won't come back after that. They are not strong or built. They are not going to put up a fight or stand for anything. If it's something serious to have to go against they will just give up and find someone more vulnerable and susceptible to their manipulation. They are not going to involve themselves in something that they could potentially lose. If you want to end the pain caused by the narcissist take away the feeling of hope emotionally disconnect or detach from them. Sever the emotional ties and the narcissist will quickly fade away. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonated with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos. If you would like to donate my PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching inquiries you can email me at narsforevercoaching at tumule.com. Check out the new merchandise in the Narsforever store where you can purchase your own Narsforever t-shirt, tank top or mug. The link is in the video description. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.