 So it's been sweltering hard in Los Angeles the past few days and I don't have air conditioning so Not been sleeping that well Not getting as much exercise as I'd like taken pretty solid hit to my productivity and So I have reasons to grouch if I wanted to I wanted to grouch but obviously that's a lousy way to Approach your life nobody likes to be around a grouch It's no fun being a grouch and Having a grouchy approach to life. It doesn't put you in a position to take advantage of opportunities and to enjoy your day and When you're not in a happy place Other people find you a drag to be around You know it is productive And your life just kind of shrinks down you just see fewer possibilities You get fixated on what's not working So who wants to be a grouch? so one of my favorite weapons against grouchiness is I love to keep a Gratitude journal. I just love to write in my journal Everything that I'm feeling grateful for One of them is that I drive a luxury car Love it. This is my first luxury car and it's just so much fun. It's powerful. It's fast It's safe It's quiet Smooth Just move the steering wheel and boom tap the accelerator Take off. I love where I live love being in Pika Robertson the heart of One of the two hearts of orthodox Judaism in Los Angeles and it has a whole different vibe than the other major orthodox Jewish community Pika Robertson is It's much more modern probably much more upbeat not not quite as religiously serious by-and-large as Fairfax Le Brea. Come on buddy. Let's go. I got tired of teach So I love where I live. I love the beautiful view I have a lot of space and I'm near all the kosher stores kosher restaurants orthodox synagogues near my friends It's a branch of the Los Angeles public library Right beside Beverly Hills. There's there's a great park and There's the Beverly Hills public library Couple miles away So I just start listing off everything that I'm grateful for I can grateful for my neighbors that Very rarely loud and disruptive I'm grateful for my YouTube channel the opportunity to share my ideas With hundreds of people and make some money at the same time I'm grateful for my clients for earning a solid income Tickling the old sex figures for the first time in my life Grateful for my 12-step programs My sponsor I've got a terrific psychotherapy Center Just a little over a mile away from where I live. I need psychotherapy So I've got terrific physical therapists close to where I live If I got the old inks and pains that I can't solve myself with my activator And I have not had to go to traditional physical therapy in the past Whoa one year two one and a half years so That's awesome You just have to go on a regular basis for plantar fasciitis but I found a tip for an exercise to do in the New York Times and So My feet no longer trouble me that was an on again off again problem for Since year 2000 so that's countless doctors visits physical therapy visits acupuncture visits Thousands of dollars in expenses Problems completely gone Just know the exercises to do every day problems not likely to return So it's important for me to make a list of all these things that I'm grateful for And when I do it just immediately picks up my mood like ah Yeah, this is awesome in my life, and that's awesome in my life and I love these supplements that I found that give me an extra boost and Help me digest better and help me sleep better So I found supplements and I'm grateful for my friends Many of whom live nearby grateful for my shawls That is several different synagogues Love being part of my orthodox Jewish community. I love the opportunity to be to be of service. I volunteer a few hours a week and and that feels good to be able to give back to The orthodox Jewish community that's taken me in and adopted me and made me part of the tribe So I like being 52. I mean I'm in good health Accumulated some wisdom on how to live Pretty much every day I get up and I look forward to the day when I go to bed at night I'm looking forward to tomorrow. That's my definition of happiness to you You look forward to tomorrow if you look forward to tomorrow, you're happy If you don't look forward to tomorrow, you're not happy A lot of people say I don't know what happiness is. There's no definition for happiness. I don't understand It's just amorphous. It's To me it's very concrete. You look forward to tomorrow You look forward to tomorrow. You're happy If there are things that you want to accomplish Ways that you want to grow Things you want to develop Things you want to learn Things you want to give things you want to share new experiences new challenges Want to take on all these things? That equals happiness So One of the things that I do regularly in my morning routine And the first two and a half hours of my morning is just mapped out Don't take in any news Don't check my email. I just first two and a half hours is devoted to getting spiritually right for the day ahead Getting physically right so I'm free in my body You don't see me with a lot of weird tension patterns or a lot of you know constriction in my movement Disabling compression patterns or just limbs that are stuck or stiff Like as I take care of myself particularly in those first couple of hours of the day and part of my morning routine is to talk to people in my various 12-step programs and Sometimes we just exchange gratitudes call someone up don't have a lot of time She'll say well give me three things that you're grateful for and That can have an impact That goes beyond just writing them in my journal like sharing them with someone else and hearing her reaction That's important getting out of isolation like under running deading These are diseases of isolation of vagueness a failure to connect like all good things In my life have come through my connections to other people all the the greatest stories that I've ever written on my blog Pretty much they've all come from connection with other people. They've tipped me off to something Well given me insights or just by the process of talking back and forth with them I've achieved Clarity or insights that I then wanted to share so pretty much all good things or paychecks or money or love all human connection or feeling of community Comes through other people so I connect with other people Before I get started on work We share gratitudes We share action plans What actions do we want to take today and for me that those first few hours of the day most important because my willpower starts Running down as the day goes on by by 10 a.m. I don't have the willpower that I had at 6 a.m. 7 a.m. 8 a.m. 9 a.m. I Get a little boost in my willpower after I eat But two three four in the afternoon. It's not as strong as it was at 9 or 10 in the morning and by 7 8 p.m. I'm pretty much ready to start winding down on the day So anything I want to get done are most difficult things. I need to tackle them first off 8 a.m. 9 a.m 10 a.m. and Sometimes I find it helpful to talk to an action partner or someone in my program about the things that I want to accomplish and Particularly things that I'm struggling with there There are still things such as learning technology that caused me anxiety Rage and despair that's my typical reaction to having to learn new technology, so I find it tremendously calming to Talk to other people about this problem or anything like that I Just like talking to other people about the 12 steps About the tools in our program. It gets me more excited about my my 12-step program if I can talk to other people who are similarly committed and There's a frequent saying in 12-step meetings. You want to stick with the winners So You can usually tell the state of somebody's recovery by the sound of their voice If they're hesitant if their voice is strangled if it's if their voice sounds tight and small and tiny and frightened and fragile Usually that means they're not in a good place and usually it means that they're not working their tells 12-step program with With a high degree of commitment so as you would expect in 12-step programs a lot of find a lot of people who are depressed and whiny and Just looking to vent about their problems You don't want those people as action partners. You don't want those people calling you up and Like I've had people call me up and say I don't know how to buy a car or I've had this problem with my skin or I'm getting bullied at work and having frustrations in my relationships I can't get this woman to go out with me. Yeah, people will take up my time with all these things So I've got to be very clear that that's not what we're about particularly in the morning This is not a gripe session. This is not a moaning session. This is not a grouch session This is a session to share gratitude to share action plans to share how you're working the program like commitments to action and It's commitment to the the 12 steps and the tools the program the community Do that to the way of life of recovery? That's what I want to get first thing in the morning. I don't want to hear people's problems that they're stuck in because For most of our problems if our problems were our problem we just solve them because we're smart enough I got an IQ over 120 like I'm smart enough To solve my problems if my problems were really my problems, but my problems are my problems. They're just symptoms of Deeper issues of They're they're flashing hints that I need to work my program with more diligence their symptoms of My refusal to turn over my whole life to God Symptoms of my refusal to okay, I'm gonna turn over my love life to God I'm gonna turn over my sex life to God. I'm not gonna do anything. It's actually that God Would not endorse I'm gonna turn over my work life of my earning life to God I'm not gonna earn money in any way that God would not endorse Okay, as long as I can duck myself The way I drive the way I speak the way that I think God would endorse then I don't seem to get into any trouble I Get along with other people. I don't have gratuitous conflict stay out of feuds I Stay out of rage and resentment And my life just goes smoothly. And so when I run into trouble it's Usually when I'm not turning over Part of my life or all of my life to God I'm just acting on my basic instincts because I'm scared because I think oh now I'll give my sex and love life to God but as far as my desire to Trigger other people and the things I say as far as Comes to making jokes. That's just for me. I don't have to turn over my Desire to provoke to God Then obviously I'm gonna run into trouble. I don't need to turn over my earning life to God I've got this sorted out on my own Then then I run into trouble So One of the things I do is I often carry around 12 steps 12 tools 12 traditions And just look at them I go back to step one realize that my love life is Out of control that whatever it takes to make sound choices and in the realm of Romance that power does not reside within me And I can just look at my my history of failures in that regard Okay, I need God in that respect where I can look at my checking account balance and see that Whatever power It takes to create prosperity That power doesn't really reside it with me because I don't do things my way Doesn't seem to work out Or if I'm feeling lonely particularly lonely in a crowd I can think well whatever power it requires to get along with other people and to live in peace and harmony with my community That power does not reside in me. I have to ask God for help And after surrender my best thinking