 The Craft Foods Company, makers of craft quality foods, presents Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeves! Great news! Gilder Sleeves back! But here's even greater news. Tonight the makers of Parquet Margin are announcing a great new $50,000 cash prize contest. Open to listeners in the United States, Canada and Hawaii. It's one of the easiest and most exciting contests in radio. Everyone can enter. Anyone may win. You'll get full details later in tonight's program. Until then, the Great Gilder Sleeve brought to you by the makers of Parquet. The margarine millions prefer because it tastes so good. That's P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet margarine made by Craft. Well, the Gilder Sleeve household seems to have fared pretty well during the summer. Margery has a nice tan. Leroy has grown a couple of inches. Bertie the cook has gained a couple of pounds. As for the Great Gilder Sleeve himself, well, he seems in rather good spirits. Good spirits at least for a man who's tallying up his checkbook after summer vacation. 66, 75, 84, 50, take away three, six, nine, twos to carry. Not bad. Got through the summer, still have some money in the bank. Well, now that happened. Maybe I made a mistake someplace. Get five, six, nine, two, three, four, three, two, one, seven, five. George is right. Bertie! Yes, Mr. Gilder Sleeve? Bertie, let's have something good for dinner tonight. That's fine with me, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. How long here? Are you busy? No idea. I'm all finished. It's been figuring up the costs of the summer. We managed to come out with a little money in the bank. Not much, but a little. Oh, that's well, Uncle Morris. Yeah, we're in pretty good shape. Christmas is still three months away. You don't have to worry about income taxes till next March. Well, Uncle, I need a check for my tuition at Junior College. Tuition? Well, how much is that? $90. $90? Just to be a freshman? Well, sure. And that's just a start. I have to buy books and all new clothes. New clothes? What for? Well, Uncle, don't you understand? There's 300 boys on the campus. You have to dress for all 300 of them? It won't be too bad. Last year it only cost Francy's father $450. Everything for the whole year. $450? I have to get dressed now. Francy and I are going shopping. Shopping? Where am I going to get $450? Hi, Uncle. Hello, Leroy. Can I have a dime? Ice cream man's coming. Between Marjorie's education and the Ice Cream Man. Oh, and I've got to get some new shoes, Uncle. New shoes? Sure. Look here, the right one's nearly worn through. Left one's okay. Well, when the tire's on a car where unevenly, we sweat. No, you couldn't do that. A new pair is only eight bucks. Eight dollars? I thought your shoes only cost $450. Yeah, but this time I want to get saddle shoes. Well, on those feet, any shoes are going to look like saddles. All right, Leroy, we'll get your shoes, but let's watch it. Huh? We have to pull together to send Marjorie to college this year. It'll cost $450. I don't quite see where it's coming from. Hey, I've got an idea how to help. How? I'll quit school. Oh, no, you won't. I'm only doing it to help you and Marjorie. I know, and it's very thoughtful of you. If I didn't have to go to school today, I could make some money caddying. Caddying? For a guy that came to visit the Bullard's last night. That's his green Cadillac across the street. Oh? I thought all the money bags Bullard scratched his and got a new one. He offered me five dollars to caddie for him today. That's not as important as getting an education, my boy. Anyway, I need a lot more than five dollars. Let's just leave. Yes, Bertie? Is it all right with you if I help Mr. Bullard's maid on my day off? What's this, Bertie? They're throwing a big party in the man who owns the green Cadillac's honor. Well, I think I follow you, Bertie. Who is the fellow they're giving the party for in the green Cadillac's honor? No, I mean... Oh, that's Mr. Henry Krauss. He's a big song publisher. Never heard of him. Oh, he's a big man in the song publishing business. Is it all right if I go to Mr. Bullard's and make the ten dollars? Well, I suppose so, Bertie, if you want to go slumming on your day off. Thanks, Mr. Gilfrey. Gary, I wish I was a songwriter. If I had a songwriter, I'd sell it to that Mr. Krauss. I wouldn't be making ten dollars, I'd be making a couple of thousand. What's that? Just like Mavis Peacover. Who's Mavis Peacover? Oh, she's a housewife. She had eight children and a husband. And in her spare time, she wrote a song and got twenty-five hundred dollars for it. Spare time, huh? I can't believe that, Bertie. How much do you say she got for it? Twenty-five hundred dollars. Her picture was in a magazine. It was? What's in that songwriting, Mr. Gilfrey? Remember that hup-sup song? That's how it got rich, yes, sir. Hup-sup, wrong songwriter, really, right? Mavis Peacover, twenty-five hundred dollars. Not bad for a housewife. Gee, uncle, why don't you write a song and make twenty-five hundred bucks? Because I haven't got the time, LeRoy. A water commissioner can't be fooling around writing songs. Although there was a time when I was in school, I wrote a couple of songs. One wasn't bad. In fact, it was very good. People liked it. Whatcha gonna do, uncle? Now that I think of it, there was a copy of that song and an old trunk up in the attic. Whatcha gonna do? All right, George, if Mavis Peacover can do it, so can Throckmorton Peagildersley. Where is that old trunk? I sure hate to boob all this junk, but it'll be worth it. Uh... Dusty up here. What's this on top of the trunk? Oh, old Hattie's old dress form and Hattie. Pretty chubby. Haven't looked at this trunk for quite a while. Oh, hello, little mouse. Hope he hasn't chewed up my lyrics. Well, here's my old ukulele. Wonder if it still works. Oh, you can bring Pete with the two left feet, but don't bring Lula. Needs tuning. If I find the song, I'll just take it over to Bullers and sing it for Mr. Henry Krauss. Ah, here it is. What's this? Dedicated to Myrtle Pickens. Nearly forgotten about Myrtle. Let's see how the song goes. There's an old familiar strain, a haunting refrain. If this is worth $2,500. Well, it is if it does to other people what it did to Myrtle Pickens. I'll never forget the night I sang it to her. Sitting on the dam at the mill pond. There's an old familiar strain, a haunting refrain. That takes me back to days of yore. Lovely truck, Martin. Oh, it's nothing. Just a hit. Go on, please. Oh, well, if you really want to hear more. Oh, I do, I do, I do. Control yourself, Myrtle. I see the chapel on the hill. The springs first daffodil. Reflected in the mill pond by the shore. Myrtle. Yes, Dr. Martin. Don't you think you'd better sit closer to me? Well... There are a lot of bullfrogs out here. Oh, all right. Mind if I put my arm around you? I can play the uke with one hand. How can I refuse a little hug after you've written a beautiful song for me? Myrtle. Oh, Frogmorton. Myrtle. Oh, Frogmorton, don't squeeze me so tightly. A little hug never hurt anybody. Oop. Grat the luck. I crushed Aunt Hattie's dress form. Better get a few throat lozenges before I see Henry Kraus. Huh? Shouldn't have sung my song for the mailman. Good morning, Pee-Vee. No, no, no, Mr. Guelty-Pee. What can I do for you? Anyway, give me a box of lozenges. For these throat? Yes, Pee-Vee. Just want to limber up my pipes. Well, there's nothing like the water coming from your teeth and these pipes in shape. Yes, yes. Henry's a little widower, Mr. Guelty-Pee. Wire. Pipes. Yes. Pee-Vee, this has nothing to do with the water department. But with sending Marjorie to college, I have to supplement my income. I found a song I wrote years ago going to sell it to a big publisher, Henry Kraus. Yeah, that's nice. Yeah, you watch. Going to make a lot of money with it, Pee-Vee. Can you give me a change? You betcha. Look at Irving Berlin and Cole Porter and Nature Boy. All Nature Boy wrote was one song and look where he is today. By the way, where is Nature Boy? Well, anyway, there's big money in songwriting and I expect to make at least $2,500. Take a look at it, Pee-Vee. Very well, Mr. Dorothy. Dedicated to Myttle Pickens. Nice title. Yeah. Pee-Vee, that's not the title. I haven't named it yet. Uh-oh. Myttle Pickens, a friend of yours? Never mind. Read the lyrics. Yeah, very well. There's an old familiar strain a haunting refrain that takes me back to days of yours. Sounds like a song, all right. Don't you think I'll sell it for a lot of money? No, like you say. There's a lot of money in songwriting. Yes, sir. Listen to this finish. So wherever I may roam my thoughts will return to home for I know that love and you are there. Doesn't that just give you goose pimples, Pee-Vee? No, no, I wouldn't say that. Huh? Well, I guess you can't get goose pimples out of an old prune. Step aside, Pee-Vee. I'm going over to Bullard's and sing it for Henry Krauss. I hope Bullard's Baldwin is in tune. Well, Henry, you surprised me on the golf course. Your game has improved. Oh, thank you, Rumson. I wasn't quite as nervous on my putz today. Oh. It's wonderful to spend a few days in the peace and quiet of Summerfield. Well, it isn't quite as noisy as your tin pan alley in New York. I wasn't annoyed so much. It was those infernal would-be songwriters. Everyone thinks he can write a song. Huh? My doctor said I'd have a nervous breakdown if I didn't get away from it all. Well, you can rest assured there isn't a songwriter within 500 miles of here. Oh, that doorbell. Excuse me. Yes? Well, hello, Mr. Bullard. Oh, it's you, Gilda Sleeve. Yeah, it's me, your neighbor. Nice day. It was? Yeah. I have a little something here I've brought over to show your guest, Mr. Henry Krauss. No. Now, listen, you see this roll of music? This represents a valuable business opportunity for a publisher like Mr. Krauss. Remember Nature Boy? Don't tell me you have him wrapped up in there. I look, Bullard. Just let me see Mr. Krauss for a minute. Now, what do you want, Gilda Sleeve? Well, if you must know, I've written a little song for him. Oh, no. It's a beautiful song. He'll be crazy about it. Gilda Sleeve, go home. What? Nobody is going to see Mr. Krauss, especially no would-be songwriter. Would-be? Now, see you, Bullard. Enough is enough. I agree. Good day, Gilda Sleeve. Oh, Bullard. What a sneaky way to end the conversation. In just a few minutes, you'll get the big news about Parquet's $50,000 cash prize contest. Get pencil and paper now, and listen carefully whenever Gildy sings his song, because that song is going to be the basis of one of the easiest and most exciting contests in radio. Well, let's get back to the great Gilda Sleeve. His plan to sell a song to a music publisher visiting the Bullards hasn't worked out too well. But he's not giving up, oh, no. Right now, he's heading into the Jolly Boys Club with his old friend Judge Hooker. Don't you worry, Judge. The song's a hit. All we have to do is rehearse it a couple of times. I've explained it to the Jolly Boys. We're going over tonight and singing it under Krauss' window. Well, yes, we're late, Gildy. I hear Floyd and Genie. And the Chief. You can always hear the Chief. All right, fellas. Break it up. That song will never be popular. I'll show you a real song. All right, all right, all right. Okay, Commis, what are we going to serenade the guy with? Have it right here in my briefcase, Floyd. Wish I'd had a copy this morning. Your big publisher was in for a shave. Really? Yep, I could have sung him a solo. Now, Floyd, this is a job for all of us. Gather around, fellas. I had Bessie-type copies of the words for everybody. Here you are, Judge. Thank you. Chief? Thank you, Commisioner. And here's your copy, PB. Oh, I remember the words, Mr. Gildy. Oh, yes. Well, Floyd, shall we try it out? I'm ready, Eddie. Everybody sight-read while Floyd plays it through once. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. What's the trouble, Floyd? Something here ain't right, Commision. Floyd, don't you dare change a note. But Commision ain't musical. There's nothing wrong with the music, Floyd. You just don't happen to be a Jose Uterbi at the piano. Oh, yeah? Well, I've been glassing at the lyrics, and you ain't no Harry Jacobs Bond, neither. Watch it, Floyd, or I won't take you with us. I ain't so sure I want to go. Oh, now what? Maybe, maybe it'll sound better if we all sing it together. Well, let's do something besides criticize it. We don't go ahead with the rehearsal, and Mr. Kraus will be asleep before we get there. Don't worry, this song will wake him up. Floyd. After glancing through it, Gildy, I'd suggest that you take a day or so to work on the lyrics. The lyrics are all right, Judge. Everything rhymes. Oh, fellas, come on. Let's give it a try. That's the spirit, Chief. All together now. Gildy, I think you'd better excuse me from your little party tonight. Why? Not that your song lacks merit. But I don't think singing on alarm at midnight is quite in keeping with the dignity of a municipal judge. But Horace... You know, Commissioner, reading the song through, I'm beginning to think the same thing. Oh, no, Chief. That's right. It ain't within my dignity, either. P.B., you'd like to sing it with me, wouldn't you? Well, no, I wouldn't say no. Oh, no! A fine bunch of friends, and I thought I could count on the jolly boys. Sure, any time, but let's sing something we know, huh? Yeah, as long as we're here, let's do some real singing. Come on, gang, join in. Dad, a little closer, P.B. Don't bite me all day. Who slammed the door? Where's Mr. Gilder's sleeve? Oh, I can't get it. I think he walked out on it. Yeah? Somebody say something to hurt his feelings? I'm afraid we all did, gentlemen. After all, we didn't give his song much of a chance. No, that's too bad. It really ain't right to let a fellow jolly boy down. Yeah, how do we know he ain't got a hit? My snap judgment ain't infallible. When this song could grow on you. How did that go again? There's an old familiar strain. I'll stow those jolly boys. I don't need their help to sell my song. Let's try it once more, Marjorie. Again, Uncle Moore? Well, maybe Mr. Kraus can't hear me across the street. But, Uncle, it's getting late, and it's cold with the windows open. Well, he hasn't turned out his light yet. By George, there's a break, Marjorie. He just opened the window. Get to the piano quickly. Uncle, must you make it so obvious? It's pretty obvious you want to go to college, isn't it? This song can send you. I hope it sends Kraus. Let's try the second chorus. And louder. Oh, all right. I'll get some response this time and know the reason why. In my reverie, it seems A summer What are you speaking? Jones. Jones? Oh, Jones down the street. Are you branding Kraus down at your house? What? Whatever you're doing, stop it. We were disconnected. What did he say, Uncle? Something he wouldn't dare say to my face. Say, why don't I phone Mr. Kraus at Bullard's? Sure, I'll sing my song over the telephone. Oh, Bullard doesn't answer. That's not Bullard. I'd like to speak to Mr. Kraus, please. Yes, sir. Get ready to play, Marjorie. Hello? Mr. Kraus, you don't know me, but I have a song that can make both of us a lot of money. Just listen. There's an old familiar strain A haunting refrain That takes me back to days of yore How do you like it so far, Mr. Kraus? I think it's terrible. Oh, Bullard, how did you get on the telephone? Gildersley, I owe you an apology. You do? Well... Yes, there have been times when I thought you were a sorry water commissioner. But as a songwriter, I think you're a very good water commissioner. What? Good night. Good night. Meet a song, Marjorie. What are you going to do, Uncle? I'm going to throw it in the wastebasket. But, Uncle... I'm no songwriter, Marjorie. I'm nothing but a very good water commissioner. How do you eat some breakfast, Uncle? Nope, not hungry. Uncle, don't feel too bad. Please, Marjorie, I've thrown the song away. I'm trying to forget about it. Gosh, Uncle, I didn't think it was so bad for a beginner. Leroy, you haven't even heard it. Oh, yeah? What do you think kept me away half the night? Well, I'm off to miss Bullard to make that $10. Yes, this is your day off, isn't it, Bertie? Yes, sir. I'll get it. I'll get it, Bertie, it's your day off. Oh, thank you, Miss Marjorie. Mr. Gilsleeve, I found your song in the wastebasket this morning. I know, Bertie, that's where it belongs. When I go over to Bullard today, why don't I just drop it on Mr. Kraus' place between armory and dessert? No, Bertie. Yeah, that's the trick I use with my report card. I give appeal on a full stomach. All right, Leroy. Now, let's everybody stop trying to be helpful. I'm no longer interested... Mr. Munson at the barbershop, Anki. Floyd, what did he want? Well, he wants you to come to the barbershop right away. Well, I'm not going. Come on, Anki, don't be like that. He said he wants to apologize. Floyd Munson, apologize? Must be something fishy going on down there. Wonder what is going on down there. Any sign of Gildy yet, Floyd? He'll be here. You, P.D., and the Chiefs stay here in the back room. Is that the big song publisher in the chair? Yeah, that's him. I talked him into a massage so I could keep him longer. I got five towels on his face. Good. Good thing he's got a long nose or he couldn't breathe. Here comes the Commissioner. Hey, Commissioner. Hello, Floyd. I got your message. Come on out, guys. Let's all get around the chair. Hello, Gildy. What's going on here? Yes, what is going on around here? Just stay right under the towels, Mr. Customer. Look here, Barber. I've been under here 10 minutes already. Well, I'm giving you a deep massage. You've got to wait for the skin to tender up. But I... Five more minutes. And to help you pass the time, we're going to do a little barbershop singing. Oh, good heavens. You may be, Floyd, but I'm not. But, Commissioner, we're going to sing your song. We even dragged the piano down here. We're sorry about last evening, Gildy. Yes, we didn't give your song much of a chance. You can sing the song if you want to, but I'm going to the water department. Well, if Gildy doesn't feel like singing, I'll sing his part, the lead. You will not, you old goat. If anybody sings a lead in my song, it's going to be me. Welcome aboard, Gildy. Okay, fellas. Here we go. There's an old familiar strain, a harming refrain that takes me back to days of yore. I see a chapel on the hill. Spring's first dapple hills reflected in the mill's hunt from the shore. I recall in names on a tree our first kiss in that old canoe. And though we drifted far apart this song within my heart is our melody of Lord Field and wonder all. Let me hold ours hid among the clouds and welcome. Okay, you're just trying to be nice to me, fellas. It's a terrible song and you know it. You know, that song isn't bad. What do you know about songs? Well, it happens. Are any good that stuff shirt crossed music publisher's bullets would have bought it? Gildy. Well, it happens that this is the first time that stuff shirt ever heard it. You mean you're the stuff... Oh, my goodness. What's the title? Title? It is not. I don't know, Gilder Sleeve, but if you get a good title for it, I just might be able to handle it. You might? I mean, you would? You hear that, fellas? I'm a songwriter. Now, wait, wait. You have to have a title. Don't worry about the title, Mr. Kraus. I'll find one someplace. We'll get a sizzler of a title, a regular scorcher. Gilder Sleeve really needs a name for that song, and that's why I've got great news for you. Tonight, Parquet Margeron announces a series of five weekly contests to help Gildy name his song. $50,000 in cash will be awarded to Parquet users for song title suggestions. There'll be 274 prizes each week for five weeks, and a grand prize of $5,000 extra to the weekly prize winner whose title is finally chosen. Just listen to this list of weekly prizes. Four first prizes each week of $1,000 each. Twenty second prizes each week of $100 each. Fifty third prizes each week of $20 each. Two hundred fourth prizes each week of $10 each. And a grand prize of $5,000 in cash to one of the weekly prize winners. Your entry may win a total of $6,000. And here's all you do. Think of a name for Gildy's song. Write your choice on an entry blank. They're available at your food dealers with complete contest rules in the words of Gildy's song. Or if you prefer, you can use a plain piece of paper. Send entry with one red flap from the end of a package of Parquet Margeron to Parquet Margeron, box 5167, Chicago 77, Illinois. Don't forget to include your own name and address and the name and address of your Parquet dealer. That's all there is to it. Send your title together with the red end flap of a package of Parquet to Parquet Margeron, box 5167, Chicago 77, Illinois. The contest is open to listeners in the United States, Canada, and Hawaii. First week's contest ends October 8th. So be sure your entry is postmarked before midnight of that date. And get started now. Think what you could do with $6,000 in cash. $50,000 for a name for my song, I'd have settled for less. Well, as a songwriter, I'm at least a great contest promoter. What I'm hoping, folks, is that one of my regular radio listeners will pull down that $5,000 grand prize. So get your entries in fast. They don't have to be tricky, you know. You may be surprised at the title it wins. Get in early and often. That's the big thing. Any title you think of may be the winner. Good night. The Great Gilder Sleeve is played by Harold Perry. The show was written by Paul West, John Elliott, and Andy Weiss, with music by Jack Meakin. Included in the cast are Walter Chetley, Mary Lee Robb, Lillian Randolph, Earl Ross, and Dick Legrand. This is Jay Stewart saying good night for the Craft Food Company, makers of the famous line of craft-quality food products. Be sure to listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday for the further adventures of the Great Gilder Sleeve. Which to fewer tastes mustard that's mild, delicately spiced, or sharp snappy mustard with zing in every bite. Either way, you like craft-prepared mustard. For other of two kinds, salad mustard, tangy, but gentle, and craft-prepared mustard with snappy horseradish added. Have both on hand for different tastes, different uses. Either work magic in bringing out hidden flavor. For when you add a little mustard, you add a lot of tang. Get craft-prepared mustard. Music You're a tune for the star.