 Hello everyone, welcome again to another NARC Survival Live video. As you can see I'm just out here hiking, just climbed this peak 233 meters, it took me about 20, 25 minutes and yeah I was just up there and now just took a little break, sat down for a few minutes, get my energy back because I pretty much power walked the entire way, so yes it was quite draining and now I feel so refreshed, good bit of exercise and yeah so here in activity to come out here and just explore, I highly recommend it for you to come out and just go for a walk, climb a mountain, we've been just walking the forest just any little walk for 30 minutes, if you're ruminating about the narcissist and all of the things they did to you, just come out somewhere where you can experience some peace, it will be very good for you, so yeah that's the intro for this video, a different way to start it off and I hope it's something that motivates and inspires you, I mean that's what you really need, that's what we all need is you know especially coming out of abuse, we need a role model, someone who isn't just talking about things but they are actually coming out and doing it which as you can see it's what I do, I don't just talk about it, I'm actually doing it for real and real life, as you can see I'm sweating right now and I was sweating a lot more before as well because when I dedicate myself to an activity I put all of my effort into it, I give it my all and as you can see I reap the rewards, I receive the positive benefits of it, so yeah just a little bit of motivation whenever you're feeling down just play this video back, I am sure that it will uplift you, to show you that yes this is my past, I can still come out and kill it on these walks which as you know you should know by now as you can see yes that's what I do, I kill it every time but yes starting to lose my breath but again now coming up this incline on the way back but I do have a message today as well as you probably know it's by the title of course they want you to think that they've just forgotten about you, they're looking happy now riding off to the sunset with their new supply look like everything is fine and dandy, they don't need you anymore or at least that is how it seems because as I've said before everything you get from a narcissist it is manipulation everything you see it is an illusion, it's very different from what it is but of course yes they would love you to think it does not lead people anywhere good it just can't with that type of energy low vibe negative energy there's just no way that cannot manifest anything good and the way that they leave you traumatized without a care without any consideration for you there is just no way that I can lead them into a good place there's just no way that that is possible because again remember you were subjected to abuse and mistreatment and all you were trying to do is to try and make things right with them you did everything you could everything in your power to make them happy but nothing was ever good enough for them they always wanted more and in the end you got fed up and you left or they just discarded you because they had no use for you after that so they carry this negative energy and the shame with them because cluster B disorders yes they know exactly what they do they just don't care all they care about is themselves as I said before they live in a world inside their heads with a population of one it's just them and everything outside of them people we are all just extensions of them they don't even see us they don't see us as separate separate people with their own feelings and needs we are just objects we're not even human to the narcissist so these are all important things that you must remember and with that in mind yes the narcissist does not get over you because they never process these emotions they never heal the traumas so knowing that all they can do is move on with that exact same energy of everything they did to you and they're just never going to let it go they will hold on to it they'll hold on to that bitterness and resentment those grudges and they will carry that with them into the next relationship or situation that they are going in which means that whatever they trying to do or achieve in the future it's already predestined it's going to be destroyed it's going to be all over for them and that's just the way that it goes for them because they're taking that energy that shame it stays with them they try to dump it onto you but it still stays with them as well or if they project it onto you you just project it right back often without even realizing because you know that it doesn't belong to you so yeah they don't get over you and it's very difficult for them to replace you because you were their grade A source of supply when they said jump you said how high you were willing to do anything you possibly could to please make them happy and nothing you did was ever good enough for them so they can never be sad satisfied and they always hear the groggy and green up and in a lot of situations yes it probably was but they don't see that until they've moved on to the next situation and then they feel dissatisfied as again just as they did when they were with you I mean that's what narcissism is really characterized by it's just nothing is ever enough and that is exactly how you will feel when you walk around them you will feel like no matter what you do no matter how hard you try to please them you will never be enough they will always see something wrong with you they will always want more and yet you can come around someone else and they can really value and appreciate you as I do myself which should reveal to you that yes it is them they just can't be satisfied they can't be happy and the reason why is because they have a mental illness they experienced trauma when they were young they didn't have their emotional needs met and those needs are not going to be met now it is far too late for them so yes they're stuck a lot of them they can't just move on they can't just forget about you if they've been with you long enough they focus their energy and attention on you and although they never fully attached they tried to attach to you and they failed to do that so that then creates this problem that they have but then they can't fully detach and instead what they do then is they try to replace you and they look for you in someone else and all that's really happening is it's that energy that they stole from you they project onto the new source and they try to turn them into you and you may even see that they're trying to get them to look like you to dress like you to do all of these things just like you do because they're just looking for another you they couldn't be satisfied with you and I think deep down they know that it was them they were the problem so then they try to turn someone else into you sorry I know there is a quite a bit of noise I came to this path before I didn't realize it was so busy let's let these people walk past I've actually been barged out of the way quite a few times already so I'll just step out of the way but yes my attention is on this video and to give you this message because I know it is very important for you a lot of you who are going through this and yeah I know you're looking for this validation I mean that's what we all need we need this closure after we've been involved with these toxic people because as I said they have a void so what happens is when you come around them or they come around you you're pouring all of your energy and you're getting nothing back in return and energy tends to be something that we can't really control it just is what it is so it's not that they're deliberately withholding this energy from you it's just you're giving your energy to them it's going into this void and then it just disappears without a trace and they can't give anything back to you because even that energy you gave to them that just disappeared they can't generate anything from within by default they are takers because they have a void so all they're looking to do is take and I know you may be watching this I'm thinking but that's maybe what you feel like right now I mean you've just been discarded left alone by a narcissist they're just forgotten about you you thought you had a relationship you thought it was love and they've just gone and now maybe you just feel like you need some love you need some attention oh that's normal there's nothing wrong with that it's just that you were involved with someone who couldn't give that to you in the beginning all they did was love bomb you manipulate you reflect all of this back to you so that they could steal your energy you're not willingly handing over your energy to validate the illusion because you don't believe in it anymore but of course when they discard you and they triangulate you you start to believe that yes they're happy now they've moved on you start to validate this other section of the illusion thinking that it's real thinking that yes they're happy they've got something better with someone else and I know what that's like I've experienced it myself yeah it's not a nice experience at all when you gave them everything you got and then you're left with nothing you're on your own you just feel like you're garbage like you're nothing because that's how they made you feel they just tossed you aside after everything they did to you they made you feel like you have no value you're nothing and yeah it's that lack of self-love because of how they treated you and you might think to yourself if I was worth anything then how could they do all of those things to me and then just leave me behind and move on to someone else like I never even existed so I get it I completely understand how that must feel you think they're just completely over you they've just moved on and you're left behind but as I said it's not like that at all it is just an just remember back when you first met them when they manipulated they loved bombed you all of that was fake it wasn't real as I said they hide that can never be filled energy that you thought that you were receiving where you thought you had met the one you had met your soulmate that energy was come from you were fueling the illusion and if you weren't there maybe it would have been someone else but if it wasn't someone else then they would have experienced a narcissistic collapse they would have experienced depression on the wrong way here go back this other way that's what it is when you see them when they targeted you they come in towards you with so much enthusiasm it's because they're pretty much a lapse they're completely drained out of it they're so desperate for something that it's like they're willing just to take it by force they just want to force it out of you especially when they begin to devalue you because by that point they know you're not going to validate the illusion anymore so they just want to force it out of you and make you pay attention to them because as I said they never had their emotional needs met when they were child and they learned another way to get attention which is by causing trouble drama and chaos starting arguments and just acting as though something is not right with them so that is an excuse to fight so that they can get supply and then it validates their feelings so that's all that really is that's why they do that and knowing that you should know whatever they do wherever they go it is still fake because when a person has to do that I'm coming to you with these manipulations this love bombing and they're trying to deceive you another person just barging into me again but that's how it goes a lot of people are just in their own world these days as you can see but yes as I said you could be sure that wherever they go whatever they do it's always going to be fake just as fake as it was with you because you weren't trying to force anything out of them with you you were very accommodating you were very giving you gave them the perfect space for them to just be themselves and if they couldn't do that with you they're not going to do that with anyone they're always going to be that way and it's never going to change you can be sure of that by how they treated you they didn't care about you and in the beginning all they did was just give you this illusion they love bombed you they manipulated you it wasn't real or when they move on they're just going to do the same thing with someone else and then they're going to get tricked are they going to be wondering why they have to change themselves and be so different for them without realizing that this new person they're just trying to turn them into another you but they're also triangulating them with you often without your knowledge or awareness you may not even know that this is going on but they're also comparing them to you when they're with them and that's changing the new supply it's getting them to comply with certain standards or certain things that they want barged in again but guess it's getting them to comply with certain things that they want so that and that's the whole point of it really the illusion and the manipulation it's just so that they by gaining power and control over their targets it makes them feel like they have some type of authority over them when they can tell them what to do and when they listen to them so sorry I know there is quite a lot of noise more people coming again try not to get pushed out of the way this time look more again just let them pass then I can continue with this important message but yes let me know down below in the live chat what have you been experiencing with the narcissist if you're watching this video right now I'm assuming that you may have been discarded and it looks like they've moved on so let me know what you've seen maybe you saw them in person maybe they were putting things on social media but you could be sure that whatever they do it's always for attention it's always because they never got their emotional needs met as a child it always comes back to that because of course if they were emotionally fulfilled emotionally stable they wouldn't need to do that at all but of course they give the appearance of that in the beginning by love bombing you manipulating you but it's all fake it's a false appearance they have an agenda and as I've said before pretty much everything they do it's driven by envy even when they manipulate you whatever they do they're desiring to take something from you but at the same time they don't even want to acknowledge you as a person because if you stand in your own confidence of knowing who you are then that energy is going to yourself so they have to keep you off balance to wear your authenticity your natural energy is then directed to them and then they can go off with that same energy as you feeling like they're on top of the world as you might normally feel as you may have felt before you met them try not to get pushed off the edge but yes it's just your energy that they want they envy your energy because when you look at it that's all that there really is in this life there's just energy and when they come around you you get completely depleted of that and then that's when they discard you when they think that you've got nothing left to give they've taken it all out of you then they just leave you alone to sit with nothing they just want to leave you by yourself because they already know exactly how that feels to have no energy of your own to feel like you're nothing that's how they normally feel however you feel following an interaction or engagement with a narcissist that's typically how they felt before before they drain you just looking at the live chat here Paris Marie says luckily for us we're going outside the box thanks to NARC survivor we have a safe space a community where we can be inspired and build each other back yes that is what this is about that's what this is all about because as I've said I've been there myself on several occasions where I have been depleted by an energy vampire a narcissist and it's just that feeling I will never forget it it's a horrible feeling on several occasions where I was just sitting in my room well in my hotel room with my villa just sitting there got this three bedroom brand new villa with a pool brand new BMW parked outside and I'm just sitting there on the bed with my head and my hands feeling like I'm losing my damn mind feeling just completely worthless inside so alone that pathological pathological loneliness feeling like I'm nothing no one wants me no one cares about me no one wants to pay me any attention and it just tears you apart and it just makes you desire some sort of company and it could be anyone it's like you just don't care you just need someone there to replenish you after everything you went through you just want some company and it's just that feeling I will never forget it I've experienced it more than once but the last two times when I was in Thailand that was really the worst when I'm in this busy city and again at this beach town and I'm just thinking everyone's outside they're partying they've all got things going on they're having fun and I'm just stuck in this villa on my own and I just felt so defeated so worthless just felt like no one wants me I'm nothing I'm garbage and in that moment I think what we want is just that validation we just want someone to make us feel attractive we want someone to look at us like yes you are something you are attractive you are desirable you are all of these things about moment when you experience that to go from feeling like you're completely nothing and then suddenly you're everything to someone that is just an incredible contrast to go from that to that and that is what makes it so addictive it's like after everything you went through and then finally you're like okay that was bad but now this time this is real this person really wants me maybe they don't love me but they like me and they see me as I am and yeah I'll never forget that feeling it's just the anxiety you feel like the walls are caving in like you're boxed in and there's no escape you're suffocating emotionally and it's like you just can't generate anything from within which in fact is exactly how narcissists typically feel when they don't have supply but for them it's probably even worse I mean they could even do that they couldn't sit in the space to themselves and just be alone with their feelings but even for us in that moment it's like we just need some form of escape we need a distraction horrible feeling I remember myself on several occasions to just be so completely alone to not have anyone to talk to it's not a nice feeling at all and I really want to drive this home so that you know that yes I have been there myself at the time I felt kind of embarrassed even ashamed that I couldn't regulate myself I just couldn't get myself the attention that I needed as though I'd already been drained out nice all that time to have some company just to have someone who is close to me is of course when you're completely alone in that moment you may even want the narcissist back even if it's just negative attention like at least there's someone there I mean when there's no one there at all that is a very different experience it's very different and it's not nice at all how many of you can relate to that though just that pathological loneliness when you're just sitting alone in your house maybe you're just laying on the bed you're watching tv but you just want to call someone just want to have that company you want someone to be there and that's really what this community is about to provide that emotional support to you that validation that is what we all need we need someone to be there for us someone who understands someone who knows what it is like and yes I hope that I can be that for you just looking for the live chat here I have to hear that it's to come across what people can understand people know what it's like it's the situation that they leave us in when we're just alone we're confused we discarded gaslets you see them they triangulate with someone else just feel like you need someone there powerful impact has such an effect when you go from feeling like you're nothing to feeling like you're everything and it feels real it's just an incredible feeling and it's very addictive times that will just run you into another narcissist as well because that could just be their manipulation and you go through that what you really need to do when that happens when you're discarded when you're left alone by yourself you just need to find some source of emotional support it doesn't always have to be an intimate partner I can understand that as well sometimes we just need some company yes I get it it's also finding that way to validate yourself to find someone that you can trust someone that you can talk to whether it's a therapist or coach someone to validate your feelings because there is nothing wrong with that at all of course narcissists will try to shame you if you have a therapist or you have a friend that you're talking to they will always try to shame you for doing that but in actuality it makes perfect sense just once you've been invalidated all of that time being gaslit it's like your own your own processing is impaired to where you can no longer validate yourself and you've been told all of this time that whatever you think is wrong it's important to have a support system otherwise you will feel like you're losing your mind you will feel like you're going crazy like you don't even know who you are anymore thank you for the donation benefit Tarantino I appreciate it but yes that was definitely one of my main motivations for starting this channel about feeling of loneliness I mean that's what really motivated me because I just don't want anyone to go through that alone I know if you've been from narcissistic abuse you know exactly what that feels like anxiety become restless and it's like your mind is telling you that you just need someone there you need someone to comfort you to validate your emotions I guess I know what it's like I've experienced it several times I got through it that's how I'm able to bring this message to you after everything that I've experienced but you do need to remember that everything you're seeing from the narcissist you think that they've moved on they're happy without you it is all an illusion it isn't real which if they could have done that they could have just done that with you you are very forgiving and accommodating they were so emotionally secure to where they could move on like that then they would have just stayed with you to remember that and know that you are not alone a lot of people are going through this and a lot of people know what this is like experience that they come out the other side stronger the better now but the narcissists they don't get over you they don't process the emotions and they remember they never talked about it with you they didn't give they didn't give you any closure or validation they just moved on to those feelings that shame it stays with them it doesn't just go away but for you yes you can heal you can process these emotions that you can become stronger and then you can move on and find someone who is also emotionally healthy someone who isn't so insecure where they are very erratic very irritable like there's always something eating away at them to move on and find someone who isn't like that that's how it should be it's not two people who complete each other it should be two complete people who are coming together that is a much more healthier situation for people to be in and that's what I want for you as well it's for you to heal and move on from this instead of falling back into the arms of a narcissist you should know by now that yes they do have a point and when you really recognize that you're not going to want to be around them because this point all they can do is take from you this negative energy can only take they can't bring anything to regain that's why by the end of it you will feel completely confused like you're losing your mind don't know what's happening to you what's going on because they're very insecure they have no inner sense of value they lack a sense of self so they need your sense of self and your value so that they can survive emotionally and to sustain the illusion as well that's how it works that's pretty much how you know exactly what you are dealing with because a person who has a sense of self and not only that but an innocent of value you're not going to feel like that around them you're going to feel stronger you're going to feel more confident you're not going to feel confused everything will make perfect sense so you have to stop chiming in stop tuning in to the narcissist illusions and whatever the train to you because when you're doing that you're giving yourself a way to avoid that has an inability to replenish you because remember this person has no identity it's all fake there's no inner sense of value and there's no empathy coming to you to understand your feelings or experience to your being invalidated as well you just kind of switch it's like you trade personalities so they become more like you and you become more like them they become more emotionally stable and secure you become out of balance because you're taken they're taking your energy away from you and then you're being depleted and of course you need this energy to sustain yourself everything is energy that's all that there is so when they come around you should already know exactly what they want they want a piece of our energy and when you give it to them you will deplete yourself it's not like a normal interaction where you're talking to someone that you're giving energy to them they're giving energy to you understanding different ideas different concepts it's not like that at all to always check yourself after an interaction whoever you're talking to at the end of it ask yourself does this make me feel good does it make me feel more energetic or grounded in myself does it make me feel happy motivated or is it just draining the life out of me but also understand as well that sometimes negative things have a place to because negative things do happen we shouldn't just sweep it under the rug we do need to talk about it and that can provide you with some clarity as well and it can make you feel better afterwards once you process the emotions because that is healing as well yes that's really it for this video and I hope that I have validated your experiences I hope that I have brought you some closure and as always you can give this video a thumbs up down below it was helpful to you it helps to support our community let me know your thoughts down in the comment section as well I am reading your comments every day share the video subscribe I'm well on coaching sessions you can book one with me on my website it is not survivor.co.uk and they have my instagram as well it's not surviving youtube and instagram you can check out my pictures and videos of my travels which I post every day on there so thank you all and I will talk to you in another video very soon