 at 7 minutes past 10. Time for the Sears Radio Theatre. That's the theme from the Sears Radio Theatre. Tonight's story is a comedy with Andy Griffith as your host. Here's a preview. I'm the only one around. You got a problem? Well, yeah. You see, uh, Sergeant... I have. I need a physical examination. So he can get in the Army. So he can get in the Army? That's right. He's got to have his physical today, Sergeant. Which is why I was sent here. It'll sort of be in a comic book. The Sears Radio Theatre will begin after this message from your local station. Join Bob Jones for The Unexplained. Monday through Friday on WNEW at 12.15, 5.45 and 8.45 p.m. and on the Milkman's matinee. These are true stories of an unusual nature. They're sometimes chilling, but always provocative. The Unexplained. Hi, Ted Brown here. Everybody talks about the weather, but not with the experience and knowledge of our man in the WNEW Weather Center, Bob Harris. Hi, this is Bob Harris, now a part of the WNEW news team and particularly the Ted Brown Show every weekday morning. Join Ted and the top-notch WNEW news staff, John Kennelly-Sportz and me, Bob Harris, from the WNEW Weather Center every hour, Monday through Friday, on the Ted Brown Show and throughout the day. This is Andy Griffith. Weird things happened in World War II, but they generally didn't happen when you were drafted. The way Hanley Finn, our hero, got into the Army was really weird. You see, Hanley represented a U.S. firm in Sydney, Australia, when World War II broke out. When America finally got into it, Hanley applied for a commission in our Army, but was turned down. Then, an American newspaper asked him to become a war correspondent. He took the job and settled into it. Then, General Douglas MacArthur arrived, and almost beforehand Hanley Finn knew it, he was in New Guinea. He was sweating out a Japanese bombing attack in Finchhaven, but it's better if you hear it from Hanley. When you squat in a slit trench and undergo a bombing attack, you try to get your entire body into your helmet, especially in New Guinea, but because of the coconut bombs. I mean, coconuts falling into slit trenches have caused a lot more casualties than any Japanese bombs. See what I mean? One almost got me there. Hanley? Oh, hello, Sam. Didn't realize you were in the same hole with me. We jumped in together. Oh, yeah. We were at mail call when he learned sound. I remember. You know, I figured out how the Japanese can win this war. How? Well, we're always putting bases on coconut plantations, right? Yeah. So they explode a few bombs any place near one of these plantations, see? Yeah. But don't you get it? They can cut your knocks off all the coconuts and they fall on the poor GIs, cowering in slit trenches. I see what you mean. Bluey, they win the war on account of who can fight with a busted bag. Keep it to yourself, Sam. I will. Oh, almost forgot. Letter for you. Hey, thanks. I picked that up for you. Good news? Well, it starts off good. What did you say if I ain't being personal? It says, greetings. Greetings? Yeah. I've been drafted. The coconut got you. Sam? Sam? It's brought to you in Elliott Lewis' production of the Sears Radio Theatre. Our story, Getting Drafted by Ted Shirteman. Our star, Elliott Lewis. The Sears Radio Theatre is brought to you by Sears Robot and Company, where value is your byword. Sears, where America shops for value. Put together a whole wardrobe with the classic collection separates at Sears. Now you can buy the pants to a suit, the vest to a suit and the jacket to a suit separately. So every well-tailored piece of the outfit you buy is geared to your size and build. 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Power spray sprays hot water into your carpet, then sucks up the dirty water. You can see the dirt you get out. Dirt you didn't even know was there. The power spray carpet cleaner, a convenient carpet cleaner you can own yourself. Available at most Sears retail stores. Kenmore. Solid as Sears. In a slit trench in Finch-Hobbins, British New Guinea. That is, he received a letter from his draft board telling him to report it once to be sworn in and receive his basic training in the Army of the United States. Now at once was rather academic. The letter had taken nearly six weeks getting from the draft board in New York to Sydney, Australia and finally to that slit trench in Finch-Hobbins. And Hanley Finn had to return to Australia to find the nearest replacement depot that could draft it. It was in Brisbane at a former race track named Ascot. So we pick up Hanley Finn, war correspondent, at the Ascot Replacement Center. Major. Major, sir? Uh, yes. Uh, is this where I'm supposed to report? It is if you want to bill it. Is that the first thing that happens? It is here. Well, whatever you say, sir. You war correspondents must be hard up for news coming to the billeting office at Ascot. Well, I think I was to report here. At least that's what a sergeant told me. Now let's see now. Uh, corporal is billet number 20 vacant? Ah, yes, sir. Fine, we'll put you in there. Are you named? Finn, sir. Hanley Finn. Yes, sir, Mr. Finn. Do you write for any one newspaper or a wire service? For the gridly chain of papers, sir. Sometimes I broadcast on the radio. Oh. Well, uh, mention the fine service you got from Major Glassheen. Major George Glassheen at Ascot. Huh? Uh, take Mr. Finn to his quarters, corporal. Ah, yes, sir, Major. You won't forget the name. It's Glassheen. I'll remember, sir. G-L-A-S-H-E-E-N. It's Irish, you know. George. George Glassheen. Oh, I won't forget it, sir. I've got relatives in Boston. Uh, you were broadcast, sir, hurting Boston, aren't they? Well, I don't know where they're piped to, sir. Yes. Well, uh, will you pick up Mr. Finn's baggage, corporal? Yes, sir. Uh, this way, sir. What happens here? Uh, not much. I'm not arriving from the states. I'm not from the hospital. I'm not from the states. I'm assigned to various units. And, uh, I'm not from the hospital. I'm sent back to the units as soon as they're well enough to travel. Mm-hmm. What's this building? Ah, it's where your quarters are, sir. Ah. Right in here, sir. This used to be a stable. Yes, sir. That's because Ascot was, uh, racetracked. You don't like it, sir? I thought I'd get a tent. This is better than a tent. It's much better than I expected. Well, you see, uh, war correspondents get the same bill as his officers. I mean, uh, they rank you from captain up to light colonel, to lieutenants get tents, and captains, too, if they're crowded. You hit it on a light day. I had a feeling that Major didn't understand the pitch. How's that, sir? Uh, we'd better go back and see him again. But, sir, we already, uh, give you the best ability he had. Yeah, that's why we'd better go back and see him again. Sorry if you don't like the billet, Mr. Finn. Well, the billet is fine. It's wonderful. But I don't think you understand why I'm here. You see, I've been called up. Called up? Maybe this letter will explain things to you. Greetings. I gotta get you out of that billet. I'm sorry if I've caused any trouble. Just because you're wearing a war correspondent's badge and got that little C on your collar in Sydney, doesn't give you any rights to make a sucker out of me. Well, that was never my intention, Major. You've got no right to an officer's billet. Not when you're being drafted. That's right, Corporal. In Australia? I was in Finchhoffen when I got that letter. Yeah, but you're supposed to be drafted before you get overseas. What are you doing in this billeting office to begin with? Well, Major, I asked the sergeant where I was supposed to go, and he said here, so here. Well, you get the hell out of that billet right now. Pronto, you understand? Okay, okay. But then where do I go? I don't care. Go see the personnel office. But get out of that billet first. You hear? Out! I'll go along with her, Major, sir. But, uh, listen, this time you carry your own flight bag, huh? Right this stylish man's dress shirt. I'm a Sears Value Dress Shirt label, just popping with pride, because Sears Value Dress Shirts are sure to be popular for a number of reasons. They have fashion spread collars coming classic patterns and solids in short sleeves. You'll appreciate the perma-pressed polyester or polyester cotton blends for easy care, plus at low value prices, what a buy. Just look for me, the Value Dress Shirt label at Sears Men's Store, where style, sense and satisfaction combine to label me ripe for you. I sell draperies at Sears. Yesterday, a lady came in and said that she'd been in and out of about every store in town looking for draperies and at this point didn't know what she wanted anymore. I asked questions about her tastes and decor and then made suggestions. She was thrilled. She found what she wanted and learned a little too. It made me feel good to know that I helped her out. Sears people are friendly people who help you find what you want. Spring, when a kid's thoughts turn to fancy and a mom's thoughts turn to Winnie the Pooh and Sears. Dressy dresses and vested suits, soft easy care fabrics and lots of spring colors and styles. Kid's size is 3-6X at most Sears retail stores. Sure quality, pure delight from Winnie the Pooh and Sears. Who else? I don't understand this here. See, I got drafted in Sioux City. That's in Iowa. I know where it is called. Where's the personnel office? What's the next officer so long? Well, you're an unusual case. What's so unusual about being drafted into the Army? You're supposed to be before you get overseas. Shouldn't you get back to the billeting office, Corporal? I miss this. You're crazy as some fan. Right where you left me, sir? Our forward echelon has moved to Fort Moresby. That's in New Guinea. I know where it is. It left only a skeleton crew here and frankly we never did this before. Neither did I. Is something funny, Corporal? No, sir. We finally found a copy of a form in a book and it typed out for you. It says true copy right there above my signature. Yeah, it should work fine. I think so. Now, you sign here. All five copies. All right. This is it? No. Now you've got to have a physical examination. Where do I go for that? Well, to our infirmary, I guess. I'll thank Mr. Finn over there, sir. Fine, Corporal. Good luck, Finn. Thank you, sir. You'll need it. The Corporal and I walked for what seemed like miles to the infirmary. We finally came to a building with a red cross on it. We went in, but there was nobody around. Each room was filled with things doctors use to treat people, but no people. On the second floor, we finally found a sergeant under a sign marked Caropidae Department. He had his feet propped up on a desk and he was reading a comic book. Where's the doctor, Sergeant? He ain't here. All right. He's out taking his weekly exercise. I'm the only one around. You got a problem? Well, yeah. You see, Sergeant... I need a physical examination. So he can get in the Army. So he can get in the Army? That's right. We were told... Is this a rib or something? Is this the Ascot dispensary? It is. He's got to have his physical today, Sergeant. Which is why I was sent here. You know, this ought to be in a comic book. You can phone the personnel department if you don't believe me. And I don't. So I'll call. I got a notice from my draft board. Pipe down. Yes, sir. Uh, personnel office... What's the little C in the badge stand for? Correspondent. I'm a... I was a war correspondent. Uh-huh. Hello, personnel office. This is Sergeant Panola over at the dispensary. I got a guy here who, uh... Yes, sir. Yes, a war correspondent caught into this badge. Uh-huh. He's being drafted? Yes, sir. He's got to have his physical today. But... Yes, sir. You was telling the truth. Honesty is the best policy. Well, then I'll be honest with you. I never gave a physical before. Well, it's all right. I'm okay anyway. You got to fill out some forms. Put your name, birthday, place a birth on there, all five forms. You got any carbon paper? Oh, sure, here. Here. You know, I don't remember my physical. Do you, Corporal? Well, you know, eyes, ears, feet. They listen to my chest. What do they listen for? They search me. There you are, Sergeant. How do you feel? Fine. You got any diseases? I don't think so. Childhood diseases? Oh, chicken pox, mumps, measles. Sir, you know, the usual. Well, now we examine your eyes. Follow me. Okay. Not you, Corporal. You ain't being examined. I can't come along, Sergeant. No. Whatever you say. Okay, there's the eye chart on the wall over there. I see it. I ain't got the slightest idea how you test eyes. Do you know? Well, I'm 20-20 anyway, so this is a waste of time. What's 20-20 mean? That I'm perfect. I can read one line, one eye or both. D-S-T-W-V-U-Q-A-X-Y-I-N-M. Yeah, that was good. Now cover the other eye. D-S-T-W-V-U-Q-A-X-Y-I-N-M. What was that number you mentioned? 20-20. That's it. Eyes, 20-20. Look, about a year ago I had a physical exam and I was trying to get a commission in the Army. I didn't get the commission, but I passed the physical. I'm all right, really. Yeah, maybe so, but I got to give you a physical. You see these three stripes on my sleeve? I didn't get them for sloughing nothing off. Now, how did they test your ears? Well, the guy stood over in a corner and whispered and I told him how it sounded. Yeah, that's all? Well, he had a tuning fork and what's the matter? Maybe I'll just whisper. You stand in that corner and I'll go over this one. I said I did. 20-20. Just like my eyes. Exactly. Feet, now we come to feet. Now, these I know something about. Take off your shoes and socks. Whatever you say, sir. Hey, don't call me, sir. I'm a sergeant. Yes, sir. I mean, uh, sergeant. It was a grubber this helper before the war, you know. Oh. Now, stand up and, uh, walk around. You said you was all right. Sergeant, the kind of job I'll have in this Army, I'll probably be sitting on my duff all day in it. That has nothing to do with this. I'm taking no responsibility for passing a guy with flat feet. Now, to me, you're a sergeant personnel and I'm telling him to get somebody else to give you a physical. This message from your local station. If you have a child with a handicap, we have some good news and some very good news. The good news is there's a new law that guarantees your child the right to the special education he needs. Evaluation procedures conform to the corresponding requirements in the final regulation of section 504. But here's the very good news. The term continuum as with least restrictive environment is commonly used by law. You don't have to hire a lawyer to explain how this rather complicated new law can help your child. Is in accordance with specific performance criteria related to the program objective. We can explain the law in clear, simple language. Free. Information under sub clause E of clause one of subsection B. Just write closer look. Box 1492, Washington DC. 20013. That's closer look. Box 1492, Washington DC. 20013. A public service message on behalf of the United States Office of Education. Here's an important tax tip from the Internal Revenue Service. If you're 65 or older, there are some special tax breaks that you can claim. Like a double personal exemption. That's right. An extra $750 for yourself and still another if your spouse also is 65 or older. And there are advantages if you decide to sell your home and move to a smaller place. There's also a tax credit for the elderly. They're all spelled out in one of IRS's free publications, number 554, Tax Benefits for Older Americans. You can get copies by calling the IRS toll-free number listed in your telephone directory or you can order by mail. There's even an order form just for that purpose in each tax package. Use it to send for the older American publication or any other IRS publication or form you need. Tax Benefits for Older Americans. Get all the details now so you can take advantage of the benefits on your tax return. Wasn't easy for American war correspondent Hanley Finn. When the sergeant of the Ascot dispensary found he had flat feet and denounced him as 4F. Hanley Finn's spirits fell, especially when the sergeant told the warrant officer on the phone he wasn't passing anybody with feet like Finn's. I'm taking no further responsibility for Hanley Finn's physical examination. Yes, sir, I'm aware his exam has to be completed today, but I can't do it. Yes, sir, I'll phone them then. Goodbye, sir. Why didn't they send you there to start with? Send me where? To the 21st. That's the hospital. Why am I being sent to a hospital? To have your physical. Here's the number. Give me your 3, 4, 2, 1, 8, 1. The only guys willing to battle in malaria cases go to the 21st. Maybe they will and maybe they won't. Maybe they will or maybe they won't what? Pass you. This is silly, sending me to a hospital. Quiet, quiet. Hello? 21st General, give me the ambulance department. What? This is the Ascot dispensary calling. Sergeant Panola is my name. I'm in a medical corps. Panola. You think I was getting the physical? Yeah, send an ambulance right away to the Ascot dispensary. No, no, it's not a heart attack. No, it's no emergency like that. Because I was told to call you guys. That's why. Okay, when? Oh, boy. Ambulance will pick you up in about an hour. It's a good thing there's nothing seriously wrong with me. You got flat feet. But I, waiting for the ambulance, rolled from the billeting office and the sergeant at the dispensary after the Army ambulance finally showed up. The sergeant still maintained I was a 4F, much to the consternation of the ambulance driver, who after learning I was only going to the hospital for my physical, insisted on my sitting in the front seat with him and telling him the whole story. Now, driving on the left side of the road is something I've never gotten used to. But sitting up front in an ambulance, speeding like it was a matter of life and death, is something else again. I have to drive so fast. I gotta keep in practice. What took you so long getting to Ascot? I was having my lunch. Make it out of the way! For your sake and mine. See, I just objected. Look out! To your driving. If you were, you could be a medic. I faint at the sight of blood. Now you get used to it. Practice your driving some other time. It doesn't matter with you. Being shot by the enemy is one thing. Winding up in a traffic accident in Brisbane is another. In an ambulance. For the hospital, by the time we managed to get to the 21st General. It was an old civilian hospital that had been taken over by the Army in Brisbane. The ambulance driver was no help in steering me to the place where I was to take my physical. So I ended up at a nurse's station marked in. You're here for a physical? Yes, ma'am. A draftee's physical? Yes, ma'am. You're supposed to be drafted before you're sent overseas. I know, Lieutenant. Well, I don't know where to send you. I can't put you in a room. You haven't been wounded. And you don't have malaria. You don't have, do you? Malaria? No, ma'am. Didn't think so. Room's out of the question. Yes, ma'am. Maybe the outpatient department will know what to do for you. Whatever you say, ma'am. Yes. That's where I'll send you. Where do I go? Let's see. Right down this hall, then to the left. To the left. No. Right. You go right at the end of this hall. Right. Got it. No. No. No. The easiest way is to go back outside and turn. Let's see. Left. Yes, left. Left. And then you follow the walk until you see the sign outpatient. Until I see the sign outpatient. That's right. Thank you, ma'am. And tell them what you're there for. Oh, I will. And if they don't know what to do, you come back here. I'll make some inquiries as to what to do. Thank you, ma'am. The outpatient clinic was crowded with people, soldiers mostly, but I finally locked in. I was taken and told by a doctor who knew what he was doing. In between laughing at my predicament, he examined my heart, lungs, various other parts and pronounced me sound. He didn't worry about my feet at all. He even gave me a tip to write to GHQ and make a pitch to be assigned to a press section where I could continue doing the work I was accustomed to. Then he gave me a lot of papers and he sent me to a unit where I met a captain in the dental corps, an officer who laughed a lot when he read the papers. Well, well, well. The selective service law certainly made a selection when it chose you. Yes, sir. I'd like to see you when you get your equipment. Yes, sir. That first inspection will really be something. Yes, sir. Do you know how to salute? I think so. Show me. Here? Well, I'm a captain. You're going to be a private. Show me. Well. No, no, no, no, no. You bring it up like, like honey, see. Like this? Like honey. Honey. Then you throw it away like spit. So. Now salute me. Yes, sir. Like spit, like spit. Throw it away like spit. How about your teeth? Yeah, I was wondering when we were going to get to them. Now sit down in the dental chair, will you? Yeah, I think they're good, sir. Open your mouth. Yeah. Wait a minute. Private. Yes, sir. Get out the dental forms, will you? Yes, sir. Open your mouth wider. Pretty good, huh? Don't try to talk. Lower's good. Lower's good. Yes. Right lower wisdom tooth missing. It was Paul a couple of years ago. I said don't talk. You marked that. Yes, sir. Right lower wisdom tooth missing. Left lower wisdom tooth missing. It was Paul at the same time. Don't talk. Left lower wisdom tooth missing. Ah-ha. What do you find? A little probe here and... Got a little cavity there. I never noticed it before. Right there. Rest of your uppers in good shape, but there's a little cavity in the right bicuspid. Right bicuspid, captain? Yeah, right there. Getting more sensitive with each poke, huh? Well, sure. Captain? Yeah, well, you ought to have that taken care of before it gets any bigger. Captain? What is it, Private? Well, sir, a cavity in the upper right bicuspid? Yes. I don't know how to mark it, sir. What? I don't know what to mark down in this form, sir. You don't know how to mark a cavity in an upper right bicuspid? No, sir. Well, it's all right, Captain. It's all right. I'll have my own dentist take care of it right away. You don't know how to mark a cavity? No, sir. How did they expect me to run a dental section without assistants who are trained? I tell you the way they send unqualified help... What did you do before you got in the service? I was a truck driver, sir. That figures. Instead of driving a truck, he's a dental assistant. What's really okay, Captain? Really, I'll have my own dentist take care of it. I don't even know how to mark a cavity in an upper right bicuspid. I'm sorry, sir. I know how to mark a filling, but not a cavity. Sorry, Shmari. This guy has a cavity. Let me see that again. Drills out. Yes, sir. Then to hell with it. I'll fill the cavity and you won't have to mark it. Here's budget shop. Why? Because we have solid pull-on pants in tiny, typical and tall sizes that fit you to a T. Team up the pants with a terrific coordinating top. Short sleeves with yolk front. The top comes in tempting spring solids and prints. These tops and pants are terrific, easy care polyester nets. So try them soon. They're great at coffee time or afternoon tea. In the budget shop at most largest Sears retail stores. Winters leaving, all right. Leaving Elana mess. Sears lawn cleanup sale to the rescue. Save 25% on strong permanent trash containers. 32-gallon size, now $14.99. Save a dollar on bagzilla trash bags. And feature lawn Sears super fine lawn food. Now a dollar off. It's just $4.99 for our 5,000 square foot coverage bag. Save $3 on a dropper rotary spreader. Sears lawn cleanup sale. At most Sears retail stores. Sale ends March 24th. Prices and dates may vary in Alaska and Hawaii. As you heard, Hanley Finn's tooth was filled and the dental officer's assistant didn't have to mark it. He marked the filling instead. And that was the end of Hanley's ordeal at the 21st General Hospital. But not the end of his problems. I'll let him tell you about it. Although an ambulance had brought me on a hair-raising ride to the 21st, none was going to take me back to Ascot. So I was on my own with a sheaf of papers and a new filling that seemed to fill my mouth. I took the war correspondence badge off my garrison cap and collar and put them in a pocket. And after some inquiries, I got to get back to Ascot on the trolley car. After an interminable ride, I finally arrived at the former racetrack and wanted to be stopped from entering by a belligerent guard. Where's your pass, soldier? I don't have one. Uh-huh. What's your name? Hanley Finn. Okay. Outfit and serial number? I haven't outfitted a serial number yet. I see. Corporal of the guard. Post number one. Stepping here, soldier. Well, you don't understand. I said, step in here, soldier. All right. What's the trouble here? Guy without a pass, no outfit, no serial number. Trying to gain access to Ascot. I was trying to explain. Explain to me, mister. Well, you see, I was at Ascot. Then an ambulance took me to the 21st General for my physical when the sergeant at the dispensary refused to go on with it. But the ambulance didn't bring me back. So I took the streetcar. Then this man here won't let me in to complete whatever I have to complete. What do you have to complete? Getting drafted. Getting drafted. Into what army? The American army. I'm only trying to obey the law. This is something for the officer of the day. You, mister, march ahead of me. And remember, there's a 45 pointed at your back. And for the Corporal of the guard treating me like a criminal. But I marched ahead of him rather than argue. The officer of the day, a First Lieutenant, was a nice chap who laughed a lot when I told my story. He said I didn't have to worry about the Corporal of the guard shooting me since he was given no ammunition anyway. All he carried was an empty pistol. Even the officer of the day had no ammunition. Never did understand that. It prevents accidents. Oh, well, first things first. We'll give you the oath. No, repeat after me. Oh, raise your right hand. Like this? Yeah, that's good. And repeat. I will bare true faith and allegiance to the United States of America. I will bear true faith and allegiance to the United States of America. Let's see. Oh, yeah. I will serve them faithfully against all their enemies. I will serve them faithfully against all their enemies. I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the officers appointed over me according to the rules and laws of the Articles of War. of the President of the United States and the officers appointed over me according to the rules and laws of the Articles of War. That does it. That does it. No, no, no, that's not part of the oath. Oh. I just meant we were finished. Oh. Now we send you to personnel to get your serial number, blood type, etc. Okay? Whatever you say, Lieutenant. We'll be back to the personnel office, explain what he wanted done, then turn me over to a PFC who made a great show of looking at all the papers I gave him. He copied down my name, where and when I was born, blood type, religious preference, told me what I'd be paid, stuff like that. He didn't know where I was to get my basic training and reiterated the phrase I'd heard so often it was coming out of my ears. You're supposed to be drafted before you get overseas. Finally he gave me a serial number which he said would be stamped on my dog tags and told me to remember the number. Engrave it on your mind. In case you're captured you only have to give your name, your rank, your serial number. Fan, handling, private, or whatever you are. And number 39254196 and that's all you see. With my sheaf of papers I was then sent to the quarter masters to draw my clothing and field equipment. The way the stuff piled up on the counter I wondered how I could carry it all. A canvas field bag, a web belt, a haversack, entrenching tools, mess kit, canteen, cup and cover. Service gas mask, a first aid pouch, raincoat, toilet kits, socks, towel, under clothes. Pocket magazines for ammo clips, blanket, and months and boots. I've got shoes. The wing tips have gotta go. What if these don't fit? G.I. soldier, that means generally idiotic. That's what he said. After trying on the boots I agreed with him. A sergeant seeing me wandering around with a load of equipment directed me to a pyramidal tent and told me I'd be attached to the headquarters company for the time being. After that, anybody's guess. The tent was empty when I went in so I picked a cot and dumped my stuff on it only to be told by the first arrival that the cot belonged to somebody else. How I got through that first night I'll never know. But I got some advice from tent mates. When you make a mistake, be a man. Blame it on somebody else. Don't ever volunteer for anything. Don't make yourself miserable because they'll do it for you. Don't have no exodus without first filling out the forms in triplicate. The food here is good. Contrary to any rumors you hear, it wasn't made in the latrine. All right, fall in. Den, dress right, dress. You there. Did you hear me? Yes, sir. I'm a sergeant, not sir. Yes, sergeant. Then get in the line and dress right. Now don't tell me you didn't hear that. No, sir. I mean, yes, sergeant. I heard you fine, but... Where's your piece? My what? Your piece, your rifle. Oh, I haven't been given one yet. Hey, what are you doing? Bucking for a section eight. I beg your pardon? You what? Maybe I can explain, sergeant. You see... No talking in ranks. He's just been drafted, sergeant, and he hasn't been... That makes two of you. Take Wonder Boy here and both of you report to the kitchen for KP. You for two days, him for a week. But, sergeant... Maybe a week of peeling potatoes and cleaning greasy pots will teach you some manners. But, sergeant, I don't know how to dress right. Make that two weeks. Long way. After crying my eyes out during a day of peeling onions, I decided to take that medical officer's advice I got at the 21st General Hospital and write a letter to GHQ. I gave them all the facts that I'd been a war correspondent for the gridly chain of newspapers nearly 18 months and wanted to use what talent I had for the good of the army I was now a part of, even if I'd served only on KP since being drafted. Then I went to the ASCOT post office to mail it. I finally got the attention of a private at one of the windows. One stamp, please. Where is it going? Right here in Brisbane. That'll be nine pence. Here's your stamp and chain. Thank you. Can I mail it here? Sure. There you are. This letter hasn't been censored. I didn't know it had to be. Well, it does. What's only going to GHQ here in Brisbane? I don't care where it's going. It has to be censored first. Okay. Where do I take it? Do your CO or first sergeant and write your name, rank, unit, and serial number here in the upper left-hand corner. That way it'll go for free. For free? Yep. To put a stamp on it? Nope. Theme this off if you want. Well, thanks a lot. First day in my unit? My first day in the army, Captain. Actually, I was sworn in yesterday. The late yesterday, sir. You were actually a war correspondent. Yes, sir. Now you're on KP? Yes, sir. Why? I'm not sure, sir. I guess because I had no rifle and didn't know how to write dress or dress right or whatever it's called. And you were drafted in Finchoff? Yes, sir. I mean, that's where I was when I got the letter telling me I was drafted. Gridley newspaper chain, eh? Yes, sir. You know what this letter says? Well, I think so, Captain. You're asking for a transfer from my headquarters company? Well, yes, sir. I guess I am. You're aware I have to approve such a transfer? No, sir. I didn't know that, sir. You don't know much, do you? About army ways. No, sir. Well, good luck. I'll approve if GHQ ever acts on it. You mean that there's... Private Finn. I am an electrical engineer. I should be using my experience for something other than doing paperwork for headquarters company at the Ascot Replacement Center. Yes, sir. I requested a transfer to any signal core outfit over a year ago from GHQ. But you're still here. Answer your question. The captain's story of his own attempt to be transferred through a wet blanket on me. I went to my KP duties with a heavy heart, but the constant smell of garbage that assaulted me every time I went began to dim as I determined to be as good a soldier as I could be. I learned to square the corners of my blanket when I made up my cotton, if you think that's easy try at some time. I learned to take apart and put back together an M1 rifle blindfolded. I learned to pack my haversack and display my equipment until even veterans were astounded by my speed and precision. I even learned how to read a prismatic compass, orient a map, locate my position on it, and use the correct signs and symbols. It was the 9th of December in 1943 that it happened. I was lying on my cotton one afternoon when the message arrived. Second Lieutenant Finn, we'll live here. I'm Finn, but I'm a private. Hanley Finn? That's me. Telegram and order is for you, Lieutenant. I looked up those two envelopes for a long time. I opened the telegram first. It read, Second Lieutenant Hanley Finn, NMB serial number 0917175 is temporarily appointed in the Army of the United States. There was more, but the fact that I had a commission was overwhelming. I tore open the second envelope. It read, Second Lieutenant Hanley Finn, NMB is relieved of duty with headquarters company, Ascot Replacement Center, Brisbane, and will proceed at once to HQ 6th Army, APO 422 for purposes of carrying out instructions. Travel by military aircraft is directed for accomplishment of emergency war mission by command of General MacArthur, signed, I tell, Major AG, Assistant Adjutant General. It took a couple of days to get my uniforms ready. After all, I wanted to be the best dressed Second Lieutenant in the Army. With my golden bars pinned to my epaulettes or on my collar, I was eternally grateful to the dental officer who had taught me how to salute. Like honey. Honey. Then you throw it away like spit. I brought up my right hand like honey and I threw it away like spit. I even saluted a doorman at a plush hotel much to his embarrassment in mind. I couldn't wait to get to my first assignment with the 6th Army until the plane I was in started landing. Of course, I argued with myself, every landing strip in New Guinea looks alike. The palm trees, the banyans, the metal landing strip, the... But there was something familiar about this particular place. Of course, you've already guessed the ending. APO 422, the headquarters of the 6th Army, was where I was drafted. In Finchoffen. Replace your car's muffler including installation. Oh, I'd say about $50. No, wait, $45. Let me around $30. I guess about $40. The aluminized Sears Muzzler is only $19.99. That's half of what I guessed. I thought to believe on a Cadillac. That's a terrific prize. With installation included. I should have known it, Sears. The Muzzler, just $19.99 installed. Clamps have needed $0.99 each extra. Sizes to fit most American-made cars. Prices may vary in Alaska and Hawaii at most Sears Tyron Auto Centers. Need a shirt to go with a skirt? Enhance new pants, make the best of a vest? See the ladies, tailored short sleeve shirts at Sears. Pointed collars, placket front with bottoms cut straight. That's great. Classic shirts that are easy to wear. Polyester fabric makes them easy care. Solids from white to navy blue. Lots of soft tones too. Plenty of prints, we've got them in store. They're just the thing you've been looking for this spring. Mrs. Taylor at short sleeve shirts in the women's sportswear department at most larger Sears retail stores. Dear, today I found the bedroom suite of my dreams at a great price. That's a coincidence. I found one that has all the features. Well, mine has authentic country styling. So does mine. Does yours have a beautiful 26-step finish? Nothing but, and I get a choice of 13 different pieces. All built to last for a long time? Yes, but sturdy tongue and groove construction and dovetail jointed drawers. Is yours open-hearth bedroom furniture? Sears open-hearth bedroom furniture. Sears open-hearth bedroom collection. Expert craftsmanship at a reasonable price. Select from 13 different pieces. Now at most Sears retail stores. Dinner has been brought to you by Sears Robot Inc. Where our policy is, satisfaction guaranteed or your money back. Sears. Where America shops for value. Getting drafted was written by Ted Sherman, produced and directed by Fletcher Markle. Your host was Andy Griffin. Our star was Elliot Lewis. Also heard were Marvin Miller, Byron Kane, Dawes Butler, Vic Perron, Norman Alden, Shepard Menken, Tom Scott, Lee Malar, and Mary Jane Croft. The music for Sears Radio Theater was composed and conducted by Nelson Riddle. Art Gilmore speaking. The Elliot Lewis production of Sears Radio Theater is a presentation of CVI. This year, people of all nations are joining hands to improve the lives of the world's needy children. Through care, you can provide the families of these children with the means to grow their own food, to build medical facilities, their water systems, and schools. Tomorrow's world is in our hands. Help make it a better place for all the children. Send your check room money order to care. Crusade for children overseas. Box 576, New York 10016. My name's Hart, Sam Hart. For years, I've been busting my pocketbook tracking the one they call the silent killer. High blood pressure. Lots of people are shadowed day and night by this killer. A lot of them know it, too. But don't protect themselves with the medicine their doctors prescribe. They say they feel just fine. This can be a deadly mistake. High blood pressure gives you no clues, no symptoms. But it opens the way for the big ones. Stroke, heart attack. High blood pressure's an enemy, all right. One you should never underestimate. See your doctor. Have your blood pressure checked. If your doctor prescribes medication, take it every day, no matter how well you might feel. Contact your American Heart Association for the locations of free blood pressure screenings. We're fighting for your life. With Vincent Price as your host. Let's listen. Look what I brought you. Mushrooms, darling, a whole basket full of them, all gathered within the last hour, and they should be cooked and eaten within the next. Oh, not again. Let me see. Darling, those are not mushrooms. They're toads to this. So be sure and tune in tomorrow to Sears Radio Theatre.