 وَأَقُولُوا فِي القُرْآنِ مَا جَاءَتْ بِهِ اَيَاتُوهُ فَهُوَ الْكَارِيمُ الْمُنْزَالُوْ وَأَقُولُوا قَالَ اللَّهُ جَلَّ جَلَالُوْهُ وَالْمُصْطَافَ الْهَاديِ وَلَا أَتْ أَوْوَالُوْ الحمد لله رب العالمين والصلاة والسلام على عبد الله ورسوله نبينا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه أجمعين السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته كما always we begin praising Allah asking Allah to exalt the mentioned grand peace to our messenger Muhammad ﷺ to his family and his companions we are talking about the essence of the marriage contract and this is before we go on to talk about حقوق as زوجين the rights of the husband the rights of the wife and then marital discord because we want to establish the terms and conditions if you like what are the terms and conditions what am I even agreeing to when I marry what are the essence of this contract how is it structured how is it made up and maybe many of the people watching this video already married but they themselves might not have known they married in a customary way somebody said I offer you my daughter in marriage and I said I accepted it and so on but did they really know what they accepted they really understand the basis upon which the نكاح is built so we said that one of the recommended actions in the نكاح is خطبة الحاجة and there are three ayat that I just think they are so important to go over in the light of marriage now you can go over them in general in terms of خطبة الحاجة but just to talk about them in the light of marriage three ayat there is an ayat in صورة النساء an ayat in صورة أعلي عمران and an ayat in صورة الأحزاب so as for the ayat in صورة أعلي عمران the statement of Allah عز وجل يا أيها الذين آمنوا اتقوا الله حق تقاته ولا تموتن إلا وانتوا المسلمون or you who believe and whenever the statement or you who believe comes in the Quran this statement is intended to catch you to make you listen to make you say this is something Allah is telling me and Allah is telling it to the husband and the wife in terms of نكاح because we are talking about نكاح here that Allah عز وجل is telling it to the husband and the wife يا أيها الذين آمنوا or you who believe اتقوا الله حق تقاته have taqwa of Allah as he deserves that you should have taqwa of him have taqwa of Allah to the extent that Allah deserves you to have taqwa of him so remind ourselves again what is taqwa I'll tell you what it is I'll give you a chance to pause the video and see if you can remember a good definition for a taqwa linguistically and islamically have a think so إن شاء الله تعالى you had a think about it linguistically تقوى is to put a barrier between you and something that you are scared of give the example of smashing a glass on the floor putting your shoes on another example I often give if you've ever had an x-ray you saw the x-ray technician goes behind the big lead screen to protect himself or herself from the rays the x-rays that come out that could be harmful that is also linguistically a taqwa put a barrier put a shield between you and between something you're scared of إن إسلام it's to put a barrier or a shield between you between Allah's punishment his anger his curse and the hellfire by doing what Allah commanded and keeping away from what Allah prohibited so that's what a marriage should be based upon that's your act that's what your that's what your marriage is based upon that's the أصل that's the foundation that it's built upon is a taqwa is having that taqwa of Allah حق تقاته as he deserves that you have taqwa of him وَلَا تَمُوتُنَّ إِلَّا وَأَنْتُوا مُسْلِمُونَ and do not die except as Muslims how can you not how can you choose in what situation you die? how can you choose you can't choose how you die right like I can't I don't know if I'm gonna die before I finish this video after I finish this video before I finish the series after when I'm old when I'm young I don't know when I'm gonna die so how can I die as a Muslim? very simple live your life as a Muslim because generally speaking if a person has إخلاص and with the رحمة of Allah and his father and his إحسان سبحانه وتعالى a person will die the way that they lived if they lived with إحسان if they lived with إخلاص if they lived with إيمان بإذن الله المولى جل في علا they will die in an estate وَلَا تَمُوتُنَّ إِلَّا وَأَنْتُوا مُسْلِمُونَ so the husband and the wife they live Islam in their marriage their marriage is built upon Islam and they live Islam in their marriage the next ayah and surat النساء ايها الناس تقربكم الذي خلقكم من نفس واحدة وخلق منها زوجها وبث منهما رجال كثيرا ونساء واتقوا الله الذي تساءلون به والأرحام إن الله كان عليكم رقيبة أمان كائند هفتقوا of your Lord the second time that taqwa has been mentioned اتقوا الله حق تقاته يا إيها الناس اتقوا ربكم اتقوا ربكم هفتقوا of your Lord who created you from a single soul created from his wife حواء and from them came out all the men and women and that we talked about the very first establishment of the Muslim family in Islam was with Adam and Hawa so Allah عز وجل reminds you to have تقوى of Allah because how Allah عز وجل started that huge family which is everyone on this earth from Adam and Hawa الله سبحانه وتعالى can bless your marriage and bless your family and bless your offspring if you have taqwa of him واتقوا الله the third time have taqwa of Allah الذي تساعلون به the one that you ask by him so you say أسألك بالله I ask you by Allah to do this you took your wife as an amana from Allah the one you ask in his name والأرحام and fear Allah with regard to your relatives the ties of kinship fear Allah with regard to the ties of kinship that's one of the tips of the ayah fear Allah with regard to the ties of kinship your relatives fear Allah with regard to that إن الله كان عليكم رقيبة الله is always watchful over you يا أيها الذين آمنوا صورة العزاب يا أيها الذين آمنوا التقوا الله وقولوا قولا سديدها يصلح لكم أعمالكم ويغفر لكم ذنوبكم ومن يطع الله ورسوله فقد فاز فوزا عظيما this is the fourth time now that Allah is وجس يا أيها الذين آمنوا التقوا الله حق تقاته داني سورة النساء يا أيها الناس التقوا ربكم والتقوا الله الذي تساعلون به والأرحام يا أيها الذين آمنوا التقوا الله حب تقوا الله وقولوا قولا سديدها and say a statement that is correct and that is true so this is the importance of being truthful in speech and speaking what's right say what's right قولوا قولا سديدها and that's so important in a marriage that the husband and the wife they speak to each other they speak the truth they are all lying there's no betraying there's no going behind each other's back and they say what is right to each other فليا قول خيرا أو ليصمت للم say something good or don't say anything at all what will happen if you say the right thing قولا سديدها you say the right thing you say what is correct and what is true الله سبحانه وتعالى will do what he will correct your deeds he will correct your عمل he will make your marriage even if your marriage is not right he will make it right he will bring it back he will make it right and Allah will forgive you your mistakes and your sins including those things that happen in a marriage that you didn't intend Allah will forgive you your sins ومن يطع الله ورسوله and whoever obeys Allah and his messenger and that shows that marriage is based upon and obedience to Allah and obedience to the messenger فقد فازف وعظيم and that person has had the best success if your marriage is based upon and obeying Allah and obeying the prophet and people talk about why does the wife obey the husband and why do the children obey the wife and the mother and the father and this family unit is based upon and obeying Allah and obeying his Rasool it's not about obedience of one person to the other this is a side effect of structure in the family and following the commands of Allah but it's about obedience to Allah so a husband doesn't tell his wife to do something unless he knows this is طاعت الله وطاعته رسوله obedience to Allah and obedience to the messenger and the wife doesn't listen to the husband except in that which is طاعت الله وطاعته رسوله obedience to Allah and obedience to the messenger and Allah she does it in the right way with the best etiquette but she only her concern is obeying Allah and obeying her husband is a part of obeying Allah as long as what the husband says is in line with and in agreement with obedience to Allah and that's the true success that's what success is really built upon so I thought these three ayat are just so appropriate for the topic of marriage all of them are said from the مستحبة and of course we haven't mentioned the whole خلقت الحاجة ونعوذ بالله مشروري عنفسنا ومن سيئات أعمالنا من يهته الله فلا مضلله ومن يضلي فلا هادي له وأشهد أن لا إله إلا الله وحته لا شريك له وأشهد أن محمدا عبد الله ورسوله وعبده ورسوله كما قال صلى الله عليه وسلم that all praises for Allah we praise Him, we seek His help, we ask His forgiveness we seek refuge with Allah from the evil of ourselves and actions whoever Allah guides there is nobody who can misguide and Allah guides the one who who works hard who is sincere for Allah and tries hard and whoever Allah misguides because that person has preferred misguidance for themselves and turned away from Allah subhanahu و تعالى and so Allah عز و جل justly and fairly and with wisdom misguide them there is nobody that can bring that person to guidance فمن يهته من بعد الله who is it who can guide that person after Allah nobody can guide that person after Allah subhanahu و تعالى and we bear witness that there is no God worthy of worship at Allah and Muhammad as the messenger of Allah our lives, our deen our entire existence is built upon لا إله إلا الله محمد رسول الله so shouldn't our marriage be built upon the same thing and should be built upon should be built upon and there are many other benefits we can take the issue of more keeping away from the innovations and the things that are newly introduced into Islam كل بدعة بدعة is a misguidance and how many things are there you know in terms of بدعة in terms of innovation definitely marriage is one where it comes out marriage, funerals are two where all the innovations come out so many innovations come out so many, so much haram so much copying the non-muslims the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said an authentic hadith ومن تشبها بقو من فهو منهم whoever resembles a people is one of them resembles them in their worship in their things that are unique to them you know سبحانه وتعالى we have people dressing up like Christians standing at the altar Muslims giving vows to each other we have Muslims behaving like Hindus to the point where the Hindu couldn't tell whether it's a Hindu marriage or a Muslim marriage except for the fact that the guy's name is Ahmed and the woman's name is Faltima you can't tell any difference between them they might the same culture they might the same traditions the same dresses, the same clothing the same behavior in their marriage so we keep away from all of these and while I will give you a piece of advice I believe it is appropriate to give here and I believe that it's indicated by and that is that if a couple can make their wedding day a day of obedience to Allah and a day that doesn't have doesn't have the innovations in it but if a couple can make their wedding day it will be blessed it will be blessed by Allah because that day is a day where so many people compromise a woman she's worn strict hijab on that day no separation between the men and the women there are people coming in he's saying I'm her uncle she doesn't know him from Adam and he comes in and he's sitting with her and the husband's brother is feeding a cake and all kinds of ما انزل الله سبحانه وتعالى الله never sent any authority for any of it so if they can make that day a day of obedience to Allah and obedience to his messenger and if they did wrong they make tawba and they come back to Allah and they resolve for their children's marriages they will not get married like that and they keep away from the innovations and the bid'a then insha'Allah would bless them in their marriage by his permission to continue marriage is an act we said it's a contract and contracts have a very special place in the sight of Allah الله سبحانه وتعالى said in the first ayah سورة المائدة او فوق العقود وحلت لكم بهيمة الأنعام إلا ما يتلع عليكم غير محل الصيد وانتم حرم إن الله يحكم ما يريد و you who believe fulfill your agreements carry out your agreements all of your agreements some of the ulama they said the whole of Islam is in this ayah everything in Islam your agreements with Allah agreements in terms of the sharia what you promised to do all of your mu'amalat you have with people all of the ibadat and the mu'amalat can be summarized by the statement of Allah stick to your agreements this is an act and you have to fulfill that agreement on both sides the husband and the wife they have to fulfill that agreement on both sides I want to talk about this issue because Allah said this is a contract that has to be fulfilled because Allah said in surah al-Nisa ay number 58 Allah said إن الله يأمركم أن تؤد الأمانات إلى أهلها وإذا حكمتم بين الناس أن تحكموا بالعدل إن الله نعم ما يعذكم به إن الله كان ساميعا بصرا الله عز وجزة أمانة بينك وإن الله يجب أن you have to fulfill أمانة before Allah وإن it's an amana in terms of the wife's family that they gave their daughter to you as an amana وإن it's an amana in terms of your relationship with your wife that you're responsible for her as the head of the household you have responsibility over her then you use that responsibility in the way that is an amana Allah commands you with regard to the amana that you return those amana to those they are due to وإذا حكمتم بين الناس أن تحكموا بالعدل so we said that marriage is an act and Allah commands you to fulfill أوفوا بالأرخود fulfill your agreements and marriage is an amana and Allah commands you that when it comes to the amana you look after them and you fulfill them to the people that they are due to أقبة ابن عامر رضي الله عنه قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم إن أحق الشرط أن يوفى به مستحللتم به الفروج أقبة ابن عامر he said the messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said the most deserving all conditions for you to fulfill are those that make the private parts حلال سبحان الله the most deserving of conditions so we talked Allah said it's an act الله said أوفوا بالعقود الله said إن الله يأمركم أن تؤدوا الأماناتي إلى أهلها and here it's a shart it's a condition and we know the prophet SAW المسلمون على شروطهم they fulfill the conditions they agree to and in the conditions and in the most deserving of all conditions to be fulfilled are those that make the private parts i.e. those conditions that form a part of the nikah now that could be implicit conditions that is the حقوق of the rights of the husband and wife and it could be the conditions that are made in addition because one of the things that can exist like all معاملات there can be شروط إضافية additional conditions which are added additional conditions and that could form some of you will not have that in your marriage contracts meaning your marriage contacts will be like if the word is right vanilla nothing added just plain contracts and those then in that case are the شروط that Allah SAW explained to us the basic conditions the حقوق of the rights of the husband and the wife which we are going to come to but it may be that there are conditions it could be conditions in the contract people put certain things the condition is such and such and that condition could come from the wife it could come from the husband either could make conditions upon the other so it is important that if these conditions are made they are the most deserving of all conditions to be fulfilled in the most deserving of all conditions and that doesn't have to be always additional conditions it can also be the inherent and implicit conditions that exist within the نكاح in terms of the rights of the husband and the wife the أمانة that the act itself the contract itself and so on but many people do have additional conditions in their marriage contracts so I wanted to take a little bit of time to talk about these additional conditions as I said the prophets like some said in the hadith جامع الترمذي it's also a similar wording it's also mentioned in أبي داود that the prophets he said the prophets I said making in marriage later on like making a peaceful agreement there's a word for it like a good-natured agreement or making peace is permissible between the Muslims except for an agreement which makes haram something that was حلال or makes حلال something that was haram and Muslims are bound by the conditions they agree to unless it is a condition that makes haram something حلال or makes حلال something haram Muslims are bound are bound by conditions when you sign the terms and conditions of a contract you are bound by those conditions unless there is a condition that makes something حلال حرام or something حرام حلال so it's very important that the conditions you agree to in the نكاع and by them you have to stick to them unless there is something which makes حرام حلال حرام this is further clarified by the حديث of عائشة رضي الله عنهان the حديث is in بخاري and Muslim the prophet ص. عليه وسلم he said ما كان من شرط ليس في كتاب الله عز وجلف هو باطل وإن كان مئة شرط كتاب الله أحق وشرط الله أثق حديث بخاري and Muslim from the حديث رضي الله عنها and this part of the حديث that we want to quote the prophet ص. عليه وسلم said to continue what is the matter with some people that they put down conditions these conditions are not in the book of Allah they're not in the book of Allah whatever condition is made to any any kind of interaction whatever condition is made that is not in the book of Allah is false i.e. it is invalid even if there are 100 conditions the book of Allah is more deserving and the conditions of Allah are stronger and more you're more tightly bound to them so here we take a number of benefits it's not allowed for there to be any extra stipulated conditions that go against the book of Allah and the book of Allah includes the sunnah of the prophet ص. عليه وسلم because Allah said in his book whatever the messenger gives you take it and whatever he commands you to stay away from prohibits you from then abstain from it so Allah included the commands of the prophet ص. عليه وسلم within the commands of the Quran in other words the Quran commands you to follow the sunnah of the prophet ص. عليه وسلم so if there's a condition that goes against the Quran or goes against the sunnah then this condition is falsehood and likewise if it goes against because the prophet ص. عليه وسلم told us that our Ummah will not gather together upon falsehood so all of these are included there's a condition that goes against the book of Allah or the sunnah or the consensus of the Muslims this condition is it's invalid even if 100 of them are written down 100 of them are written down the book of Allah is more deserving and the condition of Allah is and from here we can understand that when we say about condition about the most important conditions to follow or those that make the private parts that here from the conditions are the conditions that Allah laid down they are the strongest and the most heavy and the most weighty are the conditions that Allah laid down but if you make additional conditions those conditions cannot go against the book of Allah or against the sunnah of the prophet ص. عليه وسلم or against that which the Muslims have unanimously agreed upon شيخ رسلان ببن تيمير رحم الله تعالى he said in a statement explaining this he said أو الهبأ أو البيع أو النكاح أو الإجارة أو النظر أو غير ذلك شروطاً تخالف ما كتبه الله على عباده he said he said whoever makes a condition in a waqf like something which is given in terms of it becomes like a charitable trust أو إطق freeing a slave or a gift or a service transaction أو نكاح marriage or renting or an oath or anything else they make conditions that go against what Allah has made obligatory over his servants they go against what Allah has made obligatory over his servants he then said بحيث تتضمن تلك الشروط أو النهيه عما أمر به أو تحليل ما حرمه أو تحريم ما حلله فهذه الشروط باطلة بالتفاق المسلمين في جميع العقود he said how does this be such that these conditions entail commanding something which Allah forbade or forbidding something which Allah commanded or making Halal something Allah made Haram or making Haram something Allah made Halal these conditions are بالطلة they are invalid they are false they are worthless by the consensus of the Muslims in every single contract so that includes the contract of النكاح that includes the contract of النكاح any conditions are made that what that condition entails even if the wording but entailed what it entails is to command something Allah prohibited or prohibit something Allah commanded or make something Halal these conditions are بالطلة they are completely invalid as though they never existed in the first place and this is a matter of اجمع of consensus among the Muslims so what have we done so far we have in this particular segment of the course we've taken a look at the act the contract of the marriage and we've taken a look at what that contract really is built upon and what it entails so we're now ready Insha'Allah to add it in the next episode to go on to talk about حقوق the rights of the husband and the wife the rights that are equal and how the family structure is based in terms of the responsibilities in the household and who is responsible for who and how the decision making process is made and what the rights of the spouses are so that's our next portion Insha'Allah and then after that we're going to go on to النشو's marital discord and how we deal with it and then Insha'Allah we're ready to move into a whole new segment of the course which will be to do with children and raising children and the relationship between parents and children and children and parents and that's coming up in future episodes and parts of this course brought to you by المدرسة العمالية on the topic of the Muslim family that's what Allah has made easy for me to mention and Allah has done the best وصلات و السلام على نبينا محمد و على آله و صحبه أجمعين