 21 Convention Tampa Florida we are here with our keynote our second keynote presentation and this speaker has changed the lives of so many men and especially attendees people who've watched the 21 convention at home have been massively moved by this gentleman's presentations I've heard it over and over again as carrying it walking away with one of the best speeches of the convention year after year and we're about to witness it again this year here we have Socrates come on the stage my man awesome introducing you and I can't wait to watch what you got my name is Socrates and I am here to champion a cause it is a cause and also a pathway that has been terribly degraded and demise in recent times it is also a pathway and a destination that I hope changes in our society but at this time in life in where we live it is immensely a dangerous environment and I don't mean it facetiously I mean it is terribly a risky endeavor I'm not talking about a vision but a reality it is a pathway that can be followed because other people have already set the trail it is a destination that can be achieved because others are there right now I'm here to champion a cause and I want this writ large in your lives take a look this is tenable this is achievable but you're gonna have to want it this isn't just a lovely couple these are not models these are real people in this particular case these are our very own Anthony and Mary Lee they're in this room right now for those people at home you don't know that but they are here this is a real couple this isn't gonna be something easily achieved it is gonna have to take agency you're gonna have to own this you're gonna have to want this you're gonna have to choose a partner willing to commit to this it is not just a momentary element you just don't get a highlight this is not just a snapshot in this particular case it is it is a one-off event if you want this for your entire life this has to be a daily commitment every day you need to make sure you are dedicating yourself and your partner is dedicating themselves to this destination to this reality then you have a series of snapshots that create a movie a fairy tale movie that is that sustained but you has to be a result of a process I talked about wanting this to be a cause than it is alright as a cause I believe movements need to be terribly personalized I just can't point to this and say this is what I want to achieve I need each and every one of you to feel that this is a possibility in your life that you have the ability to be able to command this to be able to control this to be able to replicate this as such this movement needs to be personalized and I want to make sure you can project yourself into this situation and if we're gonna do that it would be helpful if we had tools one of the most important I believe is you're gonna need to be able to know your location you need to be able to identify where you exist in the sexual marketplace because if you don't know you're lost if you don't know where you're at you are lost the second is I need you to be able to determine your objectives by your standards not mine not something I'm selling but your own you need to determine where you want to go who you want to do it with and where you want to end up as such you need to be able to have the objective defined and you need to need the location of that the second is you're gonna need to determine to what degree how you get there usually it's a straight line that's the shortest distance may not be the most appropriate path this will also be a path not just a vector processing you'll need to be able to make a decision which route you want to take just like a map likewise with a map you need to understand the environment which you're gonna be doing it you're gonna need to understand the obstacles when you can expect those obstacles and how you're gonna face and prepare yourself to go around them because sometimes they're gonna stand in the way of your objectives you need to be able to make conscious decisions on how to avoid that very much like avoiding a downtown area during traffic rush hour you need to be able to understand that for them sexual marketplace ultimately it is gonna be a tool that I need to be simple and that you can carry inside your head you need to be able to act on this on a regular basis to be able to identify where you're at where you want to go the path you need to take and the resources you need to apply appropriately to get there now what would that look like if we're gonna be doing a map I happen to site like science I fucking love science and one of the most powerful sciences out there is biology all right what does biology tell us about the sexual marketplace all right there are gonna be three major drivers these are gonna be the alpha traits okay and they're primarily geared towards natural selection okay that's the overall key this is where we talked about Darwin and natural selection all right and they're gonna be focused in on provision or survival I'm sorry survival provision then seduction now breaking those down a little bit when we talk about survival we're talking about the physical manifestations and dimorphisms that your physical ability and physical fitness level that you project are you a healthy individual are you a virile or infertile are you fertile okay these sort of things that are connotated by biologically the second is gonna be status morphisms dimorphisms you know your degree in which you actually are projecting your ability to in standing within a society are you successful are you not are you gonna be able to provide based on that what are you telegraphing about yourself biologically that would give everybody an indication body language okay that you'd be a responsible and viable mate the third one is associated with seduction these are these are sexual displays these are overt sexual displays for enticement arousal and attraction all these are terribly well-known they're completely incorporated into mass culture and accepted into our consciousness of we know what these things are okay these are also what we refer to as alpha trait so when you hear somebody talking about alpha these are the traits are responding to my concern here is that fact if you just focus on the biological traits you are we either hot or you're not or you're dominant or not we know there's a lot more to life okay what do we know about these these elements actually I'm gonna skip on sorry what do we know about natural selection and biology in relation to the human condition what does biology tell us about that well how about this that you should respond naturally to your dominant sexual role men should be dominant women should be passive all right not only that the conflict is a natural state of being conflict doesn't sound like a nice place how conflict are we talking about how about this murder rape infecide are all natural very natural biological responses for you to be successful nature is filled with these examples not only that sneaky breeding adultery cuckoldering those are equally viable options to spread the gene pool around this isn't a virtuous environment this is a natural environment and nature's a bitch nature's a deadly violent place it is a harsh brutish reality and the people that live on this domain are equally as brutish and violent what stands in contrast to this world to this environment civilization does and it's the hallmark of human achievement and when we study these traits and associated with social selection those elements are associated with teamwork stability and intimacy we also know them also by when we talk about teamwork relationship skills these are skills designed to reduce tension to reduce anxiety and to reduce violence when we talk about stability we're talking about relationship management skills how do you manage those relationships how do you provide for a quantitative ability to maintain that situation the presence of a particular sentence when we talk about managing things we're talking about maintaining productivity we're maintaining the objective you have to manage those sort of things when we talk intimacy we're talking about those things that are associated with developing rapport connection and a fondness for so when we are talking about social selection it is diametrically opposed to your human natural biological instincts these are virtuous traits when we talk about people being virtuous they were exhibiting these traits they're not exhibiting biological traits if you want to be a virtuous person you need to live in the vertical domain all right this is our matrix this is the ball field x y axis natural selection on the bottom vertical selection is social selection the horizontal axis are be the alpha traits these are things when we talk about alpha behaviors there exists along these side men and women exhibit alpha traits it's not gender bias there'll be differences within the gender but there'll be equally as powerful on the vertical axis we have the beta traits these are elements that are pro-social in nature okay they're pro-civilizing they're there to help people survive these are areas in which we have people actually have sex roles we actually talk about task allocations we talk about being able to nurture an environment to actually make it safe for people to respond and to grow children and raise families and so this is our field this is where we're existing at now to a little bit further understand I actually like to look at the extreme ranges to kind of get a feel for this ballpark this area in which we exist and so one of the things I would like to do right now is to be able to look at the individual outliers take an extreme corner so what do we have over here who lives over here the people over here are low-end on the biological responses they're not physically appealing okay they're not necessarily having status displays they're not concerned with the hallmarks of standing in their role in civilization okay we also know they're horrible at elements of seduction they just don't know how to convey themselves in a sexual manner they don't have control but on the flip side they're extremely high in emotional connection they know how to connect with people they know how to form like teamwork they're terribly diplomatic social standing they are actually able to project that they're able to manage those relationships okay they can actually guide and steer these things appropriately all right honest then all on the last one they also have the ability to have an intimate connection to develop a really strong grounding in reality and connection with the individuals so what you have here are people that trigger in high emotional triggers and based on that based on meeting your emotional needs there people are gonna be tempted to develop a relationship with you there's a temptation here equally as important there's a psychological response these are people that know how to meet your psychological needs and a lot of people are not complete a lot of people are damaged a lot of people have voids these people will fill that void intentionally or not they know how to do it they naturally do it when people sit down and say they complete me that's what they're talking about these people will actually trigger have an emotional response and you'll actually want to potentially have a relationship with them because they meet your psychological needs lastly and this is an interesting one they also meet your intellectual needs there are a number of people who are incredibly intelligent and when you share valued ideas when there's a tremendous connection based on shared values shared ideas again you'll likely want to have a relationship with this these individuals so many cases in our society we see people who are we have the have relationships that we may not quite understand but they're answering this solution there's this they're answering those questions who do we have in the lower right these people are the direct opposite these guys are all biological responses they look fucking amazing these are gorgeous individuals they're pretty all right they have social standing they have all the characteristics of wealth fame success and they exude it how they dress how they act how they stand not only that they're constantly sexual they exude sexuality whether they try to or not they just exude it now let's go to the very bottom over here what do you think the bottom looks like these folks here we're going to say no immediately these people exist all right they're incredibly low on the social scale incredibly low on the biological scale these are God's children these people need help they need our compassion these people are real all right for our purpose when we talk about the sexual marketplaces we don't go here this is a protected class of people all right in a very real sense in many ways they're legally protected these are people that are not able to enter in contracts are not mentally able to they're just not functional in a way in which we anticipate based on that we're going to protect these people for the course of this talk and the rest of your lives we don't go here all right now in contrast to that who are these folks they got it all don't they they've got all the biological markers they have all the social markers this is the human ideal this is who we want to be these are people we want to look for and we want as role models and we want to aspire to this there it is all right somewhere within this matrix within this field each of you exist I do too but I want each of you do not right now don't call it out loud this is a very personal thing put yourself here where are you right now hold that in your mind as we go through this presentation it may shift based on some of the things we talked about you may want to change that but you should have a general idea where you exist now if you really want to get technical rate yourself on the three three elements of survival provision and seduction where do you scale on that and divide by three and get an average do the same thing on the other side how's your relationship skills levels how's your relationship management skills levels how are you able to foster and maintain okay a relationship do you have those skills divide by three pick an average and the combination of the two will be a vector point pretty precise but there are purposes we really don't care you just need to know roughly where you're at all right I happen to rate this from one to ten it can be a hundred I don't really care just get a sense of the scale and magnitude as we talked about this now as we go forward I'd like to talk a little bit more about the zones okay because it's not just the isolations of the outliers I actually want to talk about major areas that we can actually talk about one of the most famous and really popular is this it's a friend zone we've been talking about this all weekend haven't we all right what do we know about the friend zone everybody here is below the sex threshold see that dash yellow line in the vertical area they are below the sex threshold nobody wants to have sex with these people these people don't want to have sex with themselves it's true all right the other thing that we know is that they are below the level on a number of cases of the donnelly just a sex threshold but physically they don't look the part we know somebody who's out of control okay we know somebody who's just not physically a specimen of the human species we want to put forward they know it okay not only that on a on a social level they don't have the social skills available as well they are not projecting those elements of worth and value and standing within our society all right the third one is sexually sexually they have no ability to understand signals of attraction they neither understand the reception they don't understand it when it's projected to them they have no command of being able to project that out okay these are I always indicators of interest and furthermore they lack an ability to escalate all right these are people that cannot escalate sexually physically okay I would also sit down and say these people can't pull a trigger when it's in front of themselves all right they cannot execute there's a cost to be paid here the worst part about it if you're here you're here because you want to be you're putting yourself here that's a sad thing let's go to my next favorite one douche bags and party girls all right this is the opposite end of it this is the opposite end of it the difference is these people are getting laid these people are having sex they're having sex for a reason all right just like the people over there friends over not getting laid for a reason these people are getting laid for a reason all right I'm not saying that's the ultimate objective but there's a tremendous amount of validation that comes with that all right they're all above the the sexual threshold but something that needs to be very clearly articulated here something that's going to kind of slip by very very quickly is when we look at the people that exist here emptiness and charm okay and this is what it is emptiness and charm these people are terribly charming but not very virtuous emptiness and charm is associated with what personality types sociopath sociopaths and psychopaths say it again sociopaths and psychopaths these are fucking dangerous individuals I'm not kidding these are dangerous individuals and you're gonna stick your dick in it be very careful here we'll come back to this all right furthermore these people are unable or unwilling to make social connections they either don't know how or God forbid are unable to and if they're unable to they are genetically damaged and these people exist they're amongst us not here today but they're out there be wary of this there are monsters in this world and they exist and they look and act just like us beyond that they also don't have an ability to exercise control of themselves they can't help themselves they actually can't help themselves doesn't justify what they do but they can't help themselves all right crazy will do what crazy's got to do all right you can't deny crazy crazy will not be denied that's the worst part about it it's like the truth it reveals itself crazy will reveal itself your key is to listen listen and pay attention it's not just that see it for what it is these are scary things they really are but this is a little bit of the lay of the land all right I happen to like this picture a little bit better now we're talking to this big area right in here that's the dating zone it is the largest zone in this map and it should be I think most of us should be datable I think most of us should be of a level in which we should be inside this zone this is where we want to be all right pretty straightforward it's considerable difference between social and personal values it'll fluctuate I want to recognize this I know these are hard lines but they fluctuate they will fluctuate it's a little little nebulous but I don't want to focus too much on that just recognize that your individual circles may be different than mine that's okay but generally this is what we're talking about all right and we want to kind of be in this area we should be in this area this is the natural condition of mankind this is where men and women belong all right if not there's something wrong ultimately though oops wrong way ultimately though I want to have everybody kind of head up here this is relationship potential this is marriage potential now in all honesty you can commit yourself your life your resources your future anywhere you damn well please I don't think it's necessarily smart I think you should be shooting for here this is a sweet spot up here all right again when we talk about the human ideal we're going to gravitate towards that this is a lot more readily achievable than the human ideal you get close but you don't have to do all the work to be the human ideal this is relationship and marriage potential these are the people you should be looking at these are the people you should be committing yourself to I will say this now these are virtuous individuals higher on the social scale all right if you commit yourself to anyone outside this range you fucking betrayed virtue think about that for a minute you commit outside of this range you are not honoring virtue you are not a virtuous individual you can't say and think you're virtuous when you're acting counter to that and you know it you know it every time you do it you can't escape yourself I'm here to shame you I'm here to tell you it's wrong I'm here to tell you you deserve better and you should have better that you have to do it for yourself this is another zone this is a terribly important one it's a combination of two areas between the friend zone and the fuck buddies we refer to him as creepy and awkward these are obstacles within our map this is these are obstacles these are topography in the realm of the sexual marketplace we need to understand that they exist and they exist because of incongruent behaviors when you're really kind of here but you're not quite there you're gonna be kind of between its incongruent social behaviors now in this one off on the friend zone it's sexually based isn't it people in the friend zone are not comfortable with their sexuality projecting themselves escalating understanding and receiving I always it's gonna be kind of creepy when they try stuff all right and we know it we've all felt it interestingly enough down here with the fuck buddies they exist too we're not nearly as cognizant of it but if you if you are in and around that area you know people that are back then one night stands all of a sudden awkward do you leave before you stay do you wake up with them do you dare ask what do you want for breakfast it's gonna be fucking awkward all right because you haven't done your homework you haven't prepared yourself it's in between they haven't had a whole lot of social things those things haven't covered all right and this this is a harsh place a lot of people live here a lot of people live here and don't know it a lot of people live here and don't know what to do this is a realm of women's magazines how do you like that one this is the realm of women's magazines this is the market they're selling to women that can't find a decent guy and don't understand why here's a pacifier at first glance we're gonna be doing three things I have two examples here somebody stuck in the friend zone somebody that's a fuck buddy all right identify where you're at that's first thing we're gonna do the second one in both cases we're gonna actually pick a single point this is where they want to end up all right smack dab in the middle of the dating zone that's fucking awesome it's a sweet area all right we're gonna investigate it later but this is where they want to end up now the simple processes between two points the shortest distance is a straight line all right for these people over here all they have to do is amp up the biological factors you just take this area right here from here to there is a straight line this is telling you vector wise you need to add biological factors these traits to this level likewise this individual here needs to add pro-social behaviors to that degree to get there you know where you're at where you want to go and how much and how to agree not only that based on our destination we have a kind of a sense of how long it's going to take us to get there you should be able to do this calculation really quickly in your head it's not particularly hard you don't have to be super accurate you just kind of know all right now let's look at the guys in the friend zone specifically what can we really look at this again these people are here for a reason they're lacking all the biological indicators that would make them a successful and appropriate mate all right they score low on the physicality as they physically are not representative of somebody you want to be in a relationship with socially they don't have standing they lack confidence all right everybody talks about confidence let's talk about the opposite how about uncertainty how fucking sexy is uncertainty you want to invest your resources in that you want to engage in that are you cool with being uncertain I'm not first rule of business if you're uncertain about yourself I'm uncertain about you all right they like that second one is the last one is sexually they don't believe they believe they don't believe they belong over here they're being held back and they're holding themselves back intentionally so because they're not developing the skills they're gonna put them here sexually they don't know how to it to receive or send sex signals of interest indicators of interest they also don't know how to escape these are skills that can be taught and taught rather well all right now we also have to realize we have an obstacle stand in our way that's creeping this factor okay you're gonna have to plow through that one way or another is going to have to be a considerable energy to go through that this isn't just a plane or element this is an obstacle you're gonna have to prepare yourself and in our journey when do we come across that our obstacle at the very fucking beginning there it is right at the beginning if you are gonna go on this change if this is where you're at and you're gonna go into the dating market understand your biggest obstacle starts immediately you've got to go through this mountain pass alright prepare yourself develop the momentum motivate yourself but recognize you're gonna have to do this right now on the flip side we have this folks these folks here these are people that are stuck being rotated out these are people that are sexually active and cannot maintain relationships and they're suffering for it they want to get to the same place the other folks that have been the prime spy of the dating market okay they too face the same challenges it is going to be awkward for them to start initiating human contact and developing rapport to expressing intimacy to do developing those bonds it is foreign to them they don't have practice okay their challenges begin immediately as well and by the way the work they have to do will be as much as the other side okay it's the same amount of workload just in a different direction okay we also recognize that narcissism reigns here okay we talked about psychopathic and sociopathic narcissism reigns here why why does narcissism reign here and not somewhere else I'm gonna tell you it's because it's a biological factor narcissism is a short-term mating strategy I already told you short-term mating strategy and it's a highly successful one nature fucking doesn't care okay that you're a narcissist knit nurse nature doesn't care that you're self-centered self-interested nature just wants you to breathe nature just wants you to replicate any way possible murder rape emphasize cuckolding cheating nature doesn't care what else we know about narcissism naturally it peaks at adolescence the most narcissistic individuals you'll come across naturally will be teenagers and it's natural the problem is in our society we've delayed adolescence we've promoted it and by such we've also promoted and fueled narcissism how's that reflecting in our society why does narcissism system exist why is it in adolescence not somewhere else that's your peak fertility this is when nature wants you to breed nature wants you to breed when you're most selfish and it has that as a tool understand you're gonna be fighting nature these people are doing something the people in the friend zone or not people in the friend zone are fighting social levels these people are fighting biology keep that in mind all right maybe these people deserve a little more compassion than we go all right but be aware of the monsters they exist okay what's fearful for me about a lot of this is that not only is narcissism peaking in adolescence okay and it's a short-term mating strategy but most people's social skills stop at this period of time as well people at the high school education have how high the social skill level not pretty high even if you go into school college or university and further on how much social skills are you getting very little people don't know what most of the social skills are they don't work at them they definitely don't work on management ability we avoid it we avoid what we don't like we avoid the things that make us uncomfortable we don't have a culture of embracing the things that challenge us that make us uncomfortable to challenge the comfort zone because that's where growth occurs is when you're challenged all right so keep that in mind as well all right that the apex for this is at a very low level for social skills that's why I believe that you need to be continuously improving your social skills here's why now let's let's analyze this for a moment all right and we're gonna we're gonna divide this based on genders women live here primarily okay we know this culture this kind of a myth but it's true not quite true this is a hot or not scale all right this is why I know that hot or not isn't the only criteria all right we have four different individuals lined up here and their sole response for getting a relationship for finding what they want marriage in this case they apply what skills if your only game you have is how hot are you are you're gonna be pushing this vector right here that's awesome they're gonna be hotter the more desirable everything else promise only these individuals are actually relationship potentials this is when you're getting tempted to date these people these people here nobody wants to be in relationship with them and they're not all right there's a harsh reality here the markets at the market's responding if you're not in relationship and you're just focused on it on beauty and attraction you're not gonna get here you can't get there by doing this you have to develop social skills to get there all right that's harsh we also know the people actually go through a cycle of failures it's not working for replace the guy you heard a couple other speakers already talking about that all they do is a revolving cast of characters and in response it's not just a revolving cast of characters these people here develop lists the next guy's got to do this the next guys got to do this at no point do they ever take in consideration what they're bringing to the table their faults there's no agency here they're not taught agency they're not expected to understand that they're not supposed to be accountable now I said that initially that these people here are mostly women it's not true that's not the dangerous one it's annoying it's annoying as fuck it's not dangerous one men live here too because this isn't just a hot or not scale this is the alpha scale you're either dominant or you're not you're there alpha or you're not what happens when we live on this scale what happens when men have only a single response socially to the conditions in which they're facing we've seen these guys they're monsters they're physical they're prime specimens you sit down and say this is a human ideal physically not only that they know it they present themselves that way sexually they're all over it these are guys that will cross the room bust up a gaggle of women and grab the chick that he wants okay we know these guys they actually manifest that they project it these are the guys are going to have tattoos on their neck okay these are the guys that alpha is an alpha enough okay no you think I'm kidding you think I'm kidding you think I'm kidding I'm not every response to these guys is more fucking alpha where does that get you it gets you way over here it will but what happens in society when alpha is not enough yes how about how about an example and I'm gonna put myself out there because this guy ever gets released from jail he's coming at me how about war machine you know that guy world-class MMA fighter dedicated to the combative arts supreme human specimen banging porn stars left and right and has a history of poor management skills that end in violence Chrissy Mack wasn't the first woman he beat up Chrissy Mack was the only woman he put in the hospital with a punctured lung ruptured spleen ruptured liver fractured skull violence when your skills aren't enough and you're all alpha you alpha the fuck up you get violent we have a response to that we incarcerate these fuckers we pull them out at that point as a dangerous society and we fucking should where's he now he's in jail okay and we talk about jails we know that they're rape factors all right ain't pretty not only that how's he feeling about himself at the time of this film he's already tried to kill himself once worst part about this isn't just the violence the worst part about this it's utterly fucking preventable what if war machine wasn't war machine okay and I'm gonna I'm gonna come back one more I'm a little ahead myself sorry the other part of this war machine surrounded himself in a culture of alpha he was let down by that culture the people he surrounded himself weren't willing to say something else because they didn't know it in MMA terms war machine had no fucking ground game how's that for harsh world class fighter with no fucking ground game let me say it again the man had no ground game he had no alternative to work in this axis he was a one guy one way player everybody saw him come and he surrounded himself with a culture and people that didn't the alternative is this this is preventable utterly fucking preventable what if for example war machine wasn't war machine what if war machine actually developed these traits and characteristics what if war machine was that man right there at Aiken you heard him speak yesterday let's talk about Ed for a second who's who's spoken dead is an awesome fucking guy terribly social knows how to actually make and develop connection with people he's able to actually have that connection over poor he knows good social skills he has relationship skills okay not only that he can manage those skills he can manage relationships how do we know that have you talked to his wife sitting right next to him okay he makes good decisions for himself he's able to manage those relationships okay I can also guarantee he's able to foster intimate skills he's able to maintain that relationship through maintenance skills repair skills lastly what type of man is he have you seen his daughter have you seen his child that's the man we want to be and did I screw that up it's a son isn't it is a 50-50 shot sorry I'm sorry this is what stress does it's a baby I'm just trying to say the hell away from babies that's that's my deal right now but the bottom the bottom line is this here you have a remarkable comparison between two men okay who do we want in our society who do we want to be both are terribly dedicated to the combat of arts I would say one more than the other the ones of actually incorporated philosophy it's to make it an art it's just not combat all right remarkable remarkable comparison in an immensely different situation okay I value one more than the other okay and I'm willing to say it I think it's an awesome guy thank you all right we also know that we can use this at a macro scale some of the things we're talking about but also a micro scale you can use this immediately responsive okay and we way we look at this is if you're in a dialogue with an individual and you find yourself slipping into the friend zone what do you need to do be your friend is going vertical on this if you're slipping from here in the dating potential into the friend zone do you need to be more of her friend okay being an asshole doesn't help out and that's an obvious no all right what you're gonna need to do is to get back on the biological triggers know what those are know how to apply them at what range and we're also known that certain skill sets are within a range so you're not talking high-end sophisticated stuff we're talking kind of basic stuff here work on the fundamentals okay it's the same vectoring process all right you're gonna first want to start with the non-verbal because I can guarantee anything you're doing you're doing non-verbally first set the fuck up sit straight turn into her close a little distance be willing to you know to occupy and share intimate space guys who are not comfortable with themselves will pull back we saw examples of that yesterday okay these are all non-verbal indicators okay for focus on the non-verbals then reinforce the skills proportionally okay don't go overload that's creepy in hell that's overload match her interest with yours okay then things will escalate naturally it'll just sort of happen magically it's amazing how that goes she will lead you there okay how about these folks here all right what do we have here in micro-utilization all right this is primarily for women guys usually don't have a problem getting pushed in the fuck buddies and sometimes we do but what do you do this is the proverbial 3 a.m. booty call right as a gal you're getting a call he's con and you need to actually do what you need to make sure you're staying in the dating zone how do you do that how do you say no without saying fuck off all right you're gonna have to do several things very quickly on the fly better be prepared for it all right you're gonna have to held a critical conference confrontation okay and it's gonna be a critical but things with confrontations is people don't remember what you say as much as how you make them feel getting on that phone go baby what the fuck are you doing you don't call me at this hour you're gonna lose the guy acknowledge he's calling you for a reason you have value just not the value necessarily want you have to negotiate it you have to be a negotiator by the way the most empathetic sex or gender should have those skills how many women do you think have good negotiation skills by the way that's a virtuous trait all right no more appropriate manner would be sit down to acknowledge baby what do you call me for all right ease into it make it nice acknowledge it all right the other element is to sit down and reestablish the frame you have to negotiate for what you want and if you're gonna negotiate for what you want you have to ask for it all right you have to set the parameters so you have to reform that boundary not only is it not no okay baby if you want to call me and see me you know how to do it you know how to make this happen not now not not not this place not now not quite the same thing is no something else to be important the guys are operating down here primarily because they need the validation if you're getting a 3 a.m. booty call he's not validated because if he was validated he'd be with some other woman right now not calling your ass up and guys are kind of a frail thing acknowledge he's calling looking for validation and a smart woman will understand that a smart woman will actually cater that without calling attention to a smart woman will be able to sit down and say you know I like you you know I want to spend time with you I'm interested in you but not like this give me a call tomorrow you're saying no you're negotiating for what you want and you're not burning bridges let's talk about the pickup industry all right it's a sensitive topic we can actually see it right here here it is as visually we've been talking about it we hear about it we read about it we don't get to see it here it is you are there in the friend zone what are they promise a lot of ass in the fuck buddy zone no commitment no obligation low low investment low financial ally and by the way that does exist that's real that's as real as anything else here and the guys will teach you how to do it but what are they teaching you're gonna go from a friend zone down here you're gonna highly amplify your physical presence all right think about that for a second you're gonna highly amplify your physical being then you're gonna act in a hyper dominant way traditionally this is the traditional form not only that you're gonna get aggressive sexually let's put all that together really quick over amplify your physical presence getting socially dominant and aggressive and sexually domineering with people that are not dialed in socially anybody see a problem happening here anybody see a train wreck our shoes held it all right it's not just a train wreck let's talk about their clientele what are you going through because that's the only thing you guys really care about you really don't care about that what ends up happening there you actually care about your experience what are you gonna go through you're gonna go through initially a very creepy phase you put in a little bit of effort you're gonna be a creepy fucking dude you only put in a small amount of effort you are gonna be creepier than fuck okay just being honest now nice there's a there's a degree of reprieve here see that little gap right there you're actually going to be in the dating zone for a very short window of time okay the other guys are gonna be sitting on and you're gonna be pushing forward the guys that actually put a good solid 80% in they're awkward as fuck okay it's only the guys that go fucking balls in unremorsalously and just throw themselves at this shit I mean all in guys are going out five nights a week doing hundreds of approaches and you better be measuring it okay because they will those guys have a potential of getting fuck buddies quality is low shitty but you're gonna get it all right here's the here's the really ugly part it's not getting laid that's a problem it's this right here that little sweet spot that little window of light between cloud storms of creepy and awkward these are shitty trolls these are trolls you're gonna be dating the hags of our society why the fuck would you go here this is a shitty fucking path and that's the point of this the path you take counts the path you take determines the qualitative experience of your fucking life all right be careful here now luckily and I thank God the the community has dramatically changed you still see this it's still here they've gotten smarter they've gotten wiser and there's a number of reasons for it's not quite here anymore but let's let's look at the consequences of what happens on the old sense of community if you just follow this and here's where it really plays out on a social level we have two major reactions to this these people are fucking defeated and they go back to doing what they do okay they're like fuck this shit and rightfully so who would want to take this path end up here and have low quality women you really don't want to spend time with and you really shouldn't be putting your dick into okay these are the social paths okay these are the dangerous people these people will fuck you up they can't help themselves all right these people are defeated now let's talk about defeated people what happens when you're defeated I don't know of a single person who isn't profoundly defeated and an immensely emotional intimate way that doesn't get resentful especially where your sexual identity is concerned we are striking home at your sense of masculinity who you are as a man and your qualities individual when we're talking here how fucking angry do you think you're gonna be you know who these people are Elliot Rogers people here kill people people here face a reality they don't want to admit people here are resisting a reality they are not only resentful they're miserable for facing that reality and conflicting with that reality and when you're not socially enabled when you are not socially sane when you're not full as a human individual you kill people you get violent because socially empathetic individuals don't harm other individuals they don't kill they don't beat they don't turn to violence as a solution this is a serious social problem it's not just a pick pick up industry issue it's exemplified by it but society does this society expects men to achieve the things that they say we're supposed to are taught without the skills background or support of other men to show you how to teach you to guide you so this is preventable this is a society problem but the pickup industry will get blamed for it and if you're in this industry be careful if you're in this industry and you want to make a change step the fuck up become an industry leader show that this matters to you that's a difference between a business and a cause apples in business but they serve a cause it's not just products they produce alright second one big failure we heard earlier that a lot of the guys are intelligent okay white-collared guys I happen to like them I'm gonna root here all right I'm biased there's my biasness all right they're difficult to train in the pickup industry and rightfully so they recognize this is clownish fucking behavior they see the road ahead of them they don't want to go down that fucking road I wouldn't but they kind of want to get over here they think they're told they're sold all right but the reality is they kind of went up over here so what did they do they apply some of the lessons and one of the first ones is their sense of reality their sense of place they develop small marginal menial skills of attraction they understand when a chick's kind of interested maybe hey she's looking at me no she really is looking at me not only that he's able to convey interest as well and guess what happens boom this guy's over some middle of the dating population what happens then first or second girl that comes along he's interested in met his objective poof he disappears he doesn't get here okay this never happens by the way this guy he's happy now if you're in the pickup industry this is lost profits take a look at that guys that is lost profits that is an entire market segment I could develop an industry right fucking there not teaching you pick up I could teach you how to stay single by the way we heard from those guys yesterday you'll hear more that is a marketplace but let's look at this look at the profits driven here we know this is viable people are willing to pay good money for it to learn those skills it's a skill it's appreciable it's valuable it's appropriate I have no problem with that I have no problem with this either but pickups industries losing half their business you know why they're losing half their business they're shitty businessmen they don't understand business they don't know how to market they don't know how to deliver they're not professional and you're gonna see a transformation in this industry towards those lines the firms that will be successful will be more professional they will understand the services they provide they will understand their market sector they will understand the products and services they are fulfilling our needs of yours not only that they'll have business models that'll work I'm kind of glad a lot of this doesn't work because those people don't say in business law they don't do a lot of this they don't do a lot of damage not the good ones because they actually have a better business model they understand it better so let's look at the PWA alternative if you really want to be here it's a vectoring process we know path matters identify where you want to be look here apply certain elements and then look at the degree of independence you want to actually have okay the important thing is being a manager the first thing you want to do is remove the negative remove your your belief systems remove your stereotypes that you hope that are holding you back then work on your foundation I'm an architect I'll tell you right now if you don't have a good foundation I don't give a shit about the super structure you build okay if you don't have a solid foundation which to build from your your your your whole construct is in jeopardy all right let's recap real fast locate where you're at locate where you want to go break it up into processes if you have to okay understand the path how you get there will determine the qualitative nature of your life we don't necessarily have to understand precisely what those are but in an analogy I'm gonna tell you if you want to see California go fucking west don't stay on the east coast I don't need to know the actual goddamn route I just need to know I need to turn west and start fucking walking somewhere I'm gonna end up in a place called Kansas in Kansas is vast it is flat and it is a nice place to be it's not bad it's a hell of a lot better than being here I'm not saying the east coast is bad but it's an allergy but it's bad okay the other thing is once you hit Kansas I don't know where you're at in Kansas it's tough to fucking look geolocate it really is but once you know you're cunning Kansas turn towards California start equally increasing social and sexual skills together social and natural selection proportionally and you'll end up in a place called California and that's a damn fine thing all right now let's talk about average all right let's put you right here right dab middle of our matrix what's that like all right I'm gonna tell you it fucking sucks it sucks to be fucking average you want to know why first one right off the bat this nice red line here that's a divorce threshold at 50 percent half your marriages are gonna fail if your average actually it's higher and they should fail their average you want extraordinary in your average where you extraordinary in your thinking in your selection processes where you extraordinary in your commitment now you're fucking average and you have mediocre results to show for it is this something you're gonna invest in anything that's average is at risk life will weigh it down it takes work to be fucking average we know that these people come in here and these people here there's a shitload of work to be done here this isn't the sweet spot we think it is it's mediocrity and mediocrity is a handrail for people that can't support themselves mediocrity is a handrail for the weak recognize that in yourselves fight it let's look at some cultural overlays we showed before that we have a difference between men and women between hypergamy a woman's interest and a man's interest was just hypogamy we can take the same individuals here okay same identical value systems are at same point we're gonna have vastly different conclusions what is culture tell women that their role is typically that they're supposed to be nurturing supporting caring okay we know in the sexual marketplace women will are not expected to carry the emotional burden of any of the processes known for selection okay at no point do we have an expectation that that hot woman's gonna come over and open you that she's gonna initiate the conversation that she's gonna move and guide that conversation along into something else that she's gonna initiate and ask you out for a date furthermore culturally we know she will have no obligation to carry the financial burden okay that's gonna be all on you all right ultimately culture tells women that they need to marry up they see you need to seek better they need to marry up and it's reinforced again and again and again all right let's talk about the average guy okay what's he taught need to be dominant you need to lead okay it's your responsibility your responsibility to initiate your initiate your responsibility to go after the girl to bring it along to take all the emotional and psychological risks all right every pickup artist right now who's come here to talk has relayed intimately how they were psychologically damaged by that process somewhere along the line they were hurt and it has reflected and manifests itself as them in men these are lasting risks these aren't simple things just go ask the girl out yeah we can just love it off but the reality is it helps shape who we are all right we also know men are obligated to carry the financial burden all right that's a risky and proposition when you're having to carry that you're gonna have to make decisions on what you can afford the decisions you make all right and ultimately as men we're taught to protect and to provide sounds nice provide it's got a nice ring to it what's another word for that how about marrying down sound nice now each and every man here is expected to marry down to choose a partner that is less than his himself his lesser what's that look like here's the sexual marketplace with the cultural overlay these are her options three times as many as his how do you feel about sexual marketplace now do you think it influences decisions do you think it influences how you perceive yourself your opportunities not a whole lot of options for men not many options okay and a tremendous range and diversity for women we understand who the hot bitch is right not us okay we also recognize something else when we talk about her wanting to marry up this is significant this is where it turns this is her prime zone okay she's gonna be looking for guys here these are options but that's where she wants to go and that's nature that's hypergram okay we're gonna talk about that in a second let's look at just from the female perspective what does it mean to be a woman okay first off we have an average woman and a high-valued woman or here we also have a relatively low-value guy and a relatively high value male okay first indication nobody gives a shit about this guy sorry nobody else this woman whose average has no interest in you and I can guarantee you the high value woman has no interest in you either there this take a look let it sit in I don't have to talk here feel that there should be weight there it's not good to be here either because what this is showing here for a high value woman is incredibly a competition highly competitive environment not only is it competitive it's cutthroat because this woman here knows this woman will cut the price for his attention what's the fastest way a woman does that fucking that's right and that is why right now today there's a race to the sexual bottom we recognize it the fact that the new kiss goodnight these days isn't a fucking kiss goodnight it's a blow job and you don't have to take my word for it you can listen to the good ladies at Gokker they're more than happy to write article after article after article about the sexual marketplace from a woman's perspective sex is second base you can get that on the first night know what you're doing confident make the sale you don't want to know what third base is third base is anal okay Steve shocked I know your Rob Steve you sold short now now what's what's a home run right in this in this marketplace what's a fucking home run for a guy it's anal and when she brings her hot friend all right this is vicious all right we're having a little bit of fun with this but these realities are out there these opportunities exist this is particularly vicious now what we recognize is there also a degree of make guarding that takes place okay for these women these women have to fend these women off how do you do it it's not just fucking now how do you lock in a high-value man what's the first thing you do if you're a low-value woman knock them up baby mama lock that bad boy down it's not the boy that you're locking down it's the resources we can look and see make guarding awesome displays of it when we look at the wives and girlfriends of sports athletes otherwise known as wags okay what do we have here baby mama drama okay the secondary thing you also know is status displays okay you will have fashion industries absolutely catering to a sense of social standing these women are buying Gucci like it's going out of business to separate a quality woman from a non to sit down and say I'm in your route and I'm reinforcing it's not to displays for men and their studies on this all right makes it kind of interesting this is not a safe place okay these women are actually smart to really smart makes them cunning really dangerous you know why what do smart cunning vicious women tell their blessers you're good enough the way you are baby enjoy this time enjoy it that is beautiful you're good enough the way you are you just need to be more beautiful remember that sliding bar you just need to be more beautiful not virtuous more beautiful what are the women magazines push beauty or virtue product that's right they're not pushing virtue this sucks if you're a woman in your average it sucks to be you talking to you all right what do you do you better woman the fuck up really you need to focus on virtue and learn those skills and apply those skills otherwise you're here let's take a step further let's talk about the guys now average guy what do we have here let's break that up we already know 25% where it's a no go area right we're not touching that these are God's children not appropriate and in most cases it's illegal to do so if it's not it should be I'm not kidding it will be illegal to have sex with people in these areas all right the other 50% of their option this 25% they're below the sex threshold these people don't want to fuck these two people don't want to be intimate why would you choose that these here holy shit I mean holy shit okay these people are monsters absolute fucking psychopaths and I don't mean it in a kind of a derogatory I'm crazy no I mean these people are truly medically deranged they don't have an ability or lacking it's worse that should be a no-go territory already that leaves you this how's that look you like me now how does that look let's talk about this all right what do we have here who lives here people with below average skills all your options are bleak here these are not people they're less than average in attraction less than average in social skills heightened value in drama guaranteed when you don't have the appropriate skills you will utilize inappropriate skills this is where you're gonna exist these are the people you're gonna be choosing this is the realm of codependency if you don't know what that is and how you relate to it you better check codependency attracts narcissism who's most narcissistic in our society women without social skills short-term mating strategy women that are told they're good enough the way they are by their betters enjoy the cock carousel now okay it's just gonna be an endless supply of men until it's not they don't know any better just to think differently all right it freaking sucks there's also a biological response here it's your hindbrain talking you're getting late here you actually have somebody you can date you can spend time with I know it's a lot of fucking work it's drama but you'll put up with it you'll put up with it because it's biological because you don't know any better and you're not surrounding yourself with people that will tell you differently I am don't do it all right in this area if you are making decisions here you are gonna need more than a condom to protect yourself I'm not kidding you'll be lucky if you get a fatal disease you'll die what's this line it's a divorce threshold how do you think family law is going to treat you you don't have to get a disease a desire you just have to get depressed men's suicide rates shoot up post divorce almost a factor of 20 times out of women and there's a reason for you like this area this is where you lose your children your family on basis of accusation done gone how about your financial outlay your business the work you've done everything you've done to provide to overproduce you're now at at equality expected to share in half I'm not saying it's right or wrong but men you're gonna get hit hard not only that you have the rest of your fucking life to live here you're gonna know it you'll be lucky if you got a disease and die lucky right be careful here so what do we do to change that figure what do we do to improve your lot develop standards right start dividing this shit out start rewarding the virtuous that's right there there it is start selecting people that are right there that's kind of a hard fucking sell right I've just limited your range to this sucks really sucks it gets worse I kind of have an Eastern European background vampire lore is kind of big with my people let's talk vampires I told you about monsters before let's talk about them first rule about vampires one they exist to big one nobody knows we keep it to ourselves you have to let them in you have to invite them into your house they'll ask they will come to your fucking door and asked to be let in you have to let them in a vampire cannot occupy your life or your home if you don't let them in first rule of defense keep the vampire at fucking bay keep them out of your house we put garlic around the on the doors repellent I actively try to repel crazy you know how you repel crazy act virtuously it bothers them they reek they they have a biological reaction to it they can't stand it and they know you know the difference they look for it they ask to be invited in now we have a human tragedy what happens when you let the vampires in God knows I have how do you get the vampire out of your fucking house first thing you're gonna have to do we all know this one got to drive a stake through the vampire's heart symbolically what are we doing the heart's a romantic entity the heart is our romantic interest you need to drive a stake in your romantic interest with that bloodsucker and you need to be sure of it you need to drive that stake right through the heart of any potential that relationship you need to kill it and for good measure chop off the fucking head of the vampire you do both exercise any possibility of a relationship with that woman or guy and get them out of your life completely chop off the head and then dispose of the body get them out there's no other way if you have a vampire in your house in your life kill the notion of relationship kill any presence of her in your life it's Ruth it's a ruthless I'm telling you your best options never let it in the first place now let's talk about this for a second this graphic right here that minor element and everything we've said explains a growing cultural phenomenon in our society and that is men going their own way men who naturally and rightfully say fuck this I quit thank you Greg all right fuck you I quit I'm out of here I'm gonna take care of me I'm gonna be moral I'm gonna be responsible I'm gonna take care of my needs appropriately in an ethical manner but I'm not committing to you this relationship this condition and I'm not doing it in this society and that movement is growing rightfully so I don't think it's a beneficial one but I understand it it is a human preventable tragedy and I understand it they have awesome arguments I unfortunately I draw a different conclusion it saddens me why see this what's a better option well unfortunately you have a degree of competition here to remember how we talked about women are fighting their lessers ours is the opposite we have the alpha male other guy here what's his range of marrying down look like it takes everything in your sweet spot and he's smart enough not to deal with awkward or fucking creepy and everything's above the sex threshold you are dealing with your betters and you're gonna lose you know it I know it that's fierce ultimately it doesn't pay to be average not only is that risk it's a losing proposition the result should be obvious you need to improve yourself this is where self-improvement comes in you need to be better than you are you need to be better than what you're satisfying for for mediocrity you need to be better than average okay it is too painful not to too costly not to the nice thing about this and this is awesome you know what those skills are we can identify him today their mainstream they're absolutely out there not only the out there and available they're simple to use study after study has shown literally 30 minutes okay over a course of a week over six weeks will cut your divorce rate by 50% targeting the most at risk groups less than 10 hours of social skill behavioral empathetic communication training simple shit saves marriages saves marriages saves relationships saves families that's powerful stuff and we're not talking about it not nearly to the degree we are you want to see a vampire who's attacking that who's attacking this call out a vampire when you see one lastly I want to sit down and say something else if you're looking at your marriage potential and you're trying to be better than average I'm gonna tell you you're gonna be aiming for the human ideal okay I'm gonna tell you don't be satisfied with cultural expectations of marrying down okay seek a partner better than yourself seek a partner that you can learn and grow with okay that's represented here take a guy that's here increase your range now graphically take a look at this this quality here is dramatically different than the quality this guy is going to have and this is a change of perception a guy who's not asking more for himself is going to be marrying down this guy is going to open himself up to alternative potentials and the quality of his life I guarantee you is going to be superior than the same guy who doesn't and that's just a matter of perspective you control that right here and that is probably the most costly bit of real estate you already own it's your mind you don't own that you don't know shit think about that one I will also sit down and say this this is what we strive for okay when we talk about here in the human ideal the difference between this and this right here isn't skill set it's not a skill set all right it's tricky I'll tell you what it is it's purpose it's purpose it is knowing your purpose and when your purposes parallel with somebody else's going to the same objective or striving for the same objective and you're willing to commit to that you get that now for this happy couple this isn't the end of the story they have a whole lifetime to work on this Greg Swan sits down and says marriage should be an endless story and an endless conversation that conversation should be pointed to this direction that conversation should be looking for those ideals okay you should be committing daily to that as a life well lived and it is a process all right and it has to be earned this isn't a given this isn't achieved in one day this isn't a moment this is a lifetime of commitment if you're going to do this you better man up smart which by the way is where you can find me you can find me right there manning up smart.com I have an entire blog dedicated to social skills are pro relationship that'll teach you the individual social skills the relationship management skills you need to know and understand as well as relationship management maintenance skills and repair you need all those to be able to have the initial skills of attraction the initial skills of stability the initial skills of maintenance to be able to do this you can find it right there in my blog ultimately if you found this presentation beneficial act on it you're gonna have to act but I started this presentation by saying I have a cause I'm here to champion a cause I'm gonna ask you to do more than that I'm gonna ask you to share this information with everybody you know the people you care about the people that need this the people because they utilize this take this video and share it with others help me turn the sexual marketplace into a rich vibrant and healthy place to be not just a sexual one thank you Thank you. Stop it. Normally we have QA, QC what I want to sit down and say is that I could fill all the questions we have lunch I know I push this long let's go to lunch I'm here all weekend I will take all lunch I'm not going anywhere I just want to make sure that we keep everybody on schedule and we respect it all right one or two actually check this out guys you know Socrates is gonna also be at the dinner and at the one-on-one dinner on Sunday more the reason to go there we do have time for one decent question two short ones are decently long question does anybody have I thought you're really fantastic your preparation really showed and it was a remarkable presentation the graphing God bless the architects for being able to visualize we were talking yesterday about your ability to maintain your masculine frame and your relationship in other words not using those escalating social skills to cost you your masculine sexual power and I wonder if you could talk to these gentlemen about how to do that because that is the problem when they finally do get into a relationship how to maintain their own masculine dominance in the relationship so that they don't turn into a child yeah all right this is gonna be a bit of confession this is gonna be something I've done to answer Greg's question immediately if to preserve your masculinity and you know for example let me let me fly right back to oops shit oh dear can we do that sorry start me at the beginning I apologize that's I'll take I can take it from here come on okay we were talking war machine and when he all he could do is add alpha alpha alpha what do you do the first thing is we talk about and it's I hate the overuse is you need to have the ability to walk away okay you have to stop yourself you have to self-arrest okay that doesn't preserve your masculinity it's gonna be heightened it's you're gonna be humiliated by people are gonna shame you culture will shame you okay for just walking away but you're gonna have to be strong enough to do it you have to understand your purpose and why you're doing why you're walking away and what you're walking away from now how does that play out it's gonna be a challenge and when you talk about independence things for a number of things that if you're looking at things and I see behavior you don't want to reward bad behavior so what do you do you don't feed it and you have to be willing to walk away from it I'll put a woman on time out I know it's it's like a peaceful parenting I will put her on time out okay no I'm not doing this we're not this is an acceptable behavior and no you are no longer in my realm of influence you're no longer welcome here you're I'm pushing you out okay and I'm holding you at bay that's gonna be incredibly tough to do especially if you're dating okay and you're not committed I've actually had to do this while I was dating to stay independent okay when we talk about the social skills of independence okay what do you do when you don't want to be in a relationship and she pushes for a relationship I put her on time out okay not only time out I actually make room for her to make better decisions okay that's called frame because if I'm as awesome as I know I am there's no competition I can leave my girlfriend with Brent Smith at a bar last night and walk away knowing I still have that relationship and trust because I'm that fucking good but you have to be that good you have to know it you have to know your worth and your frame you also have to have it tested untested worth doesn't have value you don't know how good you are until it's tested okay if you want to be independent let her make outstanding option decisions for herself help her have other options you need to have an inferior man night once a week not only have I insist on it you need to go out with inferior men and then come back and spend time with me and put it in comparison not only I want you to have several inferior men night name them it's brutal it is so fucking hard to do but like that awkward face it's right in front of you it gets easier on the other end okay let's pull that one up real quick here it is here it's awkward it's tough get in the habit of it get in the habit of exercising the muscles you want to strengthen how many talks have we had so far on fitness on strength development start exercising your virtue and that is how you do it by being non-needy non-outcome dependent and you provide people the best options available answer your question guys we got to wrap it up and get to lunch thank you Socrates standing ovation from everybody here awesome