 Ready? Okay. Begin. Test. And we are recording. Are you sure we couldn't find a D-class for this? They're all busy. What? Class state night? Oh. Yeah. Of course. Oh. Okay. I don't want to touch it, though. You have to. Yes, but I don't want to touch it. But you have to. You're going to make me touch it, aren't you? Yeah, I'm going to make you touch it. Okay. Report. The objective appears to be, um... Dr. Blue. Well, I think this is just a normal teddy bear. You know, I don't think this is 1048 at all. Well, that's a relief. Actually, you know what? He's kind of cute. What about that other one? What other one? Oh. If you saw the video, I saw the video. That shot was not possible through nonanomalous means. Start drafting special containment procedures. I'm bringing them in. While we are ecstatic to have the little chef return, it does mean that we have to deal with the milk demons that seem to haunt its immediate presence again. Agent Nugget does the best he can, but you see, they're just... Impalike is the word I'll use. And then... Look at it. Look, it just... It's going to leave. How rude. Security is looking to upgrade potential. I'll take this. This is new. A murderer becomes a serial killer with just two more kills. That is a motivational quote. I put that up on my wall. I prefer that to, like, live laugh love. I could put it right up here. But why would you want to be normal? This entity makes me uncomfortable in a myriad of ways. But none so much as what happens when you see its reflection. Why is it different? You said the UIU was a joke. You said they had no funding. Then why does another federal branch, the Postal Service, have extra-dimensional packages of police? Oh my god, I just hurt you. You look amazing. You're just... What do you... You're filled out and taller. I see that. If anybody should have this, it should be you. To celebrate Black History Month, why don't we highlight some African-American SCP characters? Today we'll focus on SCP-3812, a voice behind me. Sam Howell was a seemingly normal fellow until he died in 1996. Then he just stopped being dead. From there, Sam started to exhibit abilities similar to what we call reality penders. Oh, if only it were that simple. You see, reality bending is an awesome power to have. You can change things in the universe to your liking, but you're still limited to your universe, your sandbox to play in. But Sam specifically can ascend layers of narrative reality. So Sam can mess around in the foundation verse, but then hop into our narrative layer with the authors, and then can hop above us and above us, and either there's a top level or there's an infinity, but either way, Sam has dominion overall. You'll see in Addendum 5 of the article that the author literally pulled the God card and started throwing everything it could imagine to destroy SCP-3812. And when it didn't work, the author apologized to the In Universe Foundation saying, I couldn't stop it and I think it's bigger than me now. The only reason any of us still exists is because Sam decided that with infinite realities being like grains of sand, why would you just destroy one grain of sand? So that's why the foundation verse and the author verse and all of it is still standing because there's no reason to destroy something like that. Which of you looked at its face? Which of you looked at its face? Whichever one of you was, you need to leave the group now. If the rest of you see 096's face, we will be bringing back body bags of ground beef. Do you hear me? D-1157, go ahead and try out the light switch. First on. Mm-hmm. And then off. Incredible. Localized solar anomaly. Hey, what are you doing? Stop flipping the switch. Are we going to tell people there were four solar eclipses in one day? I have been wandering this construction site for two hours and I've seen no sign of- Whoa! He's going to do it. He's going to do it. One, two, three, four, five, six. Oh, you wimp. For reasons we are still researching, butterflies are a creature that have an abnormally high amount of anomalous variants. From SCP 408, the camouflage butterflies, to SCP 553, the crystalline butterflies, and let's not forget SCP 3209, the butterflies that feed on interest of all things. But none are quite so spiteful as SCP over here. I mean, dang. Situation. Chemical plant explosion. Really? Look. Incredible. That one ain't smoke, man. Whatever the fuck that is. Cloud-like anomaly. Delta, bring a sample back to the lab. That kid's coming right at us, man. We've been about stuff. Are you running from a cloud? What happened to best and the brightest? Shelter in place. Shelter in place. Sit the fuck out of here. What's with these new recruits? All right. I call that a break time. Because there is no canon, and education requirements to join the foundation vary from story to story. Most stories seem to go with the Men in Black method. We hire the best of the best of the best, sir. We scout them out. We check their credentials. We give them an offer, and if they take it, then we erase their identity and hire them on. And if they don't take the job, it's their memory we erase. Then you have tales like Alma Mater, which you can listen to on the Site 42 YouTube channel, and they're a little bit darker. In that one, we hire college grads with no prospects as junior researchers, pompomful of online classes, and no, there's no accreditation. We're a secret organization. And then, okay, you're a doctor now. Good job. Then there's this one tale that I know I read, but I can't find it anywhere on the wiki. So if you find it, you got to tell me. But there's this retired fed, and the foundation's like, hey, work for us. And he's like, I don't want to work for you. And they're like, hey, work for us. And he goes on the run, and then we capture him, and then we make him a D-class because he won't work for us. So however you got hired, welcome aboard. Secure. Contain. Protect. People often wonder how the foundation gets its funding. We don't work for the government. So how can we afford to be a globetrotting containment research and paramilitary organization? Well, it's no Velcro like our friends and the men in black, but the SCP-999 cloning project has been quite lucrative. Mobile Task Force, Kappa 7, codenamed Tumnus Trappers. Are you in position? We have visual on the entity. Capture operation is a go. Agent Nugget, we've got you on visual. Give us a status check on the little chef. Complicated. Let's see what we can do. SCP-148 refers to telekill alloy, which for simplicity's sake, is an anomalous metal that blocks psychic powers. There are two versions of this article we have to pay attention to, the original and the rewrite. Now to truly understand why telekill alloy was rewritten and is a meme now, I have to take you through a little bit of history of how the SCP Wiki culture has evolved over the past 15 years. In 2022, the SCP Wiki operates on a there is no canon model. This means that every page that you write on the Wiki can take or leave different parts of the SCP Wiki and still make a story that works as long as it's internally consistent. This also lends to a concept where each page on the Wiki should tell its own story. Even if it's a tiny little mystery we don't really know what's going on, most pages on the Wiki follow this rule that each page has a story of its own. However, the original SCP Wiki was one single locked canon, and all of the articles had to be consistent with the overarching narrative. Articles also used to be a lot simpler, and this is because they didn't need to tell a story in themselves, but they could provide utility to a story in a tale or in another SCP article, and the crossover would make it worth having. SCP-148, the telekill alloy, was not much more than a magical item in a D&D manual. We have this limited amount of telepath, nullifying metal, and we're going to use it to contain entities. For me, the one pro to having telekill alloy was that it allows you to tell stories with these more powerful entities that normally you wouldn't be able to contain. But there were a lot more negatives than there were positives. Telekill alloy ended up in a whole bunch of different SCP articles, and not in a greatly thought out way it was kind of just used as a win button. A tightrope, we still kind of walk with Scranton reality anchors, and notice that those don't have their own article. Now, I'm not sure if the article got downvoted down to the threshold or if the author rewrote it themselves or allowed someone else to rewrote it, but it was eventually rewritten. This rewrite gave telekill alloy a catch. It seems to be gaining mass somehow, whenever it sucks up telepathic energy, so we don't use it because probably we don't want to find out what would happen. So yeah, telekill alloy is a meme because it was a weak, unnecessary article that was overused into oblivion and was clowned on because of it. Come on, you're almost there. There's a nice D-class waiting in the cage at the bottom in that D. It stands for delicious. Come on! I have tickets to the game tonight. Oh, hello. You must be one of those costumed players I've heard so much about. What? Obviously quite talented at it, and I imagine you bring a great deal of joy to people's lives. Is this too meta? Definitely too meta. Because that's where I go to school for engineering. Send them a switch. That's where I went to school. Is this you? There's a lab code in there. Is this you? Is that a flarking SEP vehicle at my old campus? Is there anomalies around? Which of you is it? Am I... is this how? I mean, I haven't gone there in 10, no, 15 years. I don't want to share any more details about the vehicle because it's like I don't want to give away somebody's identity. I told you that draft library was haunted. But, just know that damn library has something in it. Not to worry, sir. We have eyes on the entity and one of our top agents is on route to retrieve it. These nut-hot-goddies! Sir? I don't like the call I get in the anomaly zoo, which I think is just making it too easy for us. Yeah, yeah, clear for approach. Here we go. I don't know what this is, but I don't see a good re-invasion. I've got to kill you in existence! I've got to put the pennies money in the sword. This is a gun? Soap! Approved. We sent the plague doctor in with Harvey. Let's see what happens. Oh, he neutralized him! The back rooms are not an SCP, but if they were, how would the SCP Foundation contain them? As a quick primer, the back rooms are sort of alternate universe that one can fall into through spatial anomalies. This is colloquially known as no-clipping, named for the video game term for walking through solid surfaces or objects. Much like with the SCP Foundations, there is no canon rule. There are many differing interpretations of what the back rooms are. Some purists prefer only the original creepypasta, with the original yellow level and some vague mentions of entities. While fans of the back rooms wiki or the cane pixel series will have differing interpretations. Regardless of which version you prefer, I believe one thing we all can agree on is that the Foundation would have a snowball's chance in 457's chamber of successfully containing the back rooms. While there are many who have compared the back rooms to SCP-3008, the Infinite Ikea, and there are some similarities, that store has a set doorway that we can keep people from entering and exiting. The fact that you can no-clip from anywhere at any time makes this far too worldwide a phenomenon for us to conceivably contain. Now if the Foundation could find or create a stable entryway, then we'd have a situation like SCP-093, exploration logs with D-class and all task force members of the multiple levels and the horrors that we bring upon ourselves in the world with our continued experimentation. Leave us more entities to contain in the comments. Secure. Contain. Protect. We don't need every SCP ever, we just need one. SCP-3812 starts in the Minecraft game, ascends to the real plane of existence, deletes Minecraft off the computer, Minecraft Steve is gone. The meta-characters who can fight their own creators always break these games, like Popeye. Hold your flatware for five seconds, your food would stop hippity hopping around the plate and you can finally eat it up! Don't yell at me! I swear to 344, you do this every time! Yellow. Uh, so I'm gonna report in that peanut's missing? Uh, peanut? Yeah, the peanut. I'm talking about an SCP. I don't know about any peanut anomalies, but I can check the database for ya. You know, peanut don't blink. Not ringing any bells. It's like the most popular SCP. It's like the most famous SCP. I mean, maybe famous, but 096-682 in the Ikea, those are popular. The sculpture, the statue thing. We have a lot of statue anomalies. You know, peanut bio, study the baby arms. Are we cool yet, does Graffiti entities? No. No, I've been here a while. I've been here a while. Anyone else? Nope, just me. Reduce correct. That's not how that works. What's this? Test success. You see, the bucket is not the anomaly in this test. The subject is. The subject is both a reality bender and an idiot. As long as he believes in the bucket, it will protect him. And bothering Reggie is a bonus. It's on you completely, but that was a really obtuse way to phrase that. Yeah, get back to your cell. I'll call cleanup. Test failed. Thank you for listening. Site 42 studios and its staff are funded by viewers like you. Please become a patron or visit our merch store at the link in our bio to support our work. Secure. Contain. Protect.