 we do have to dedicate some time to the most important relationships in our life if we want them to be flourishing over time. And that can be really, really hard to do. And so I have a lot of suggestions in the book that are sort of like small and ways to kind of fit it in the ways that work for really busy people. So, and to your other point, which is, you know, have fun and have the deep conversations, we do need to make time for both. And that is really hard, especially when kids are really young and you're super sleep deprived. But it's important not to kick the can down on the road too far. I mean, for so many couples that I see in the therapy room, like they haven't had sex in years because it's just like everything else felt so important and they didn't feel emotionally connected and it just didn't feel like it was gonna be a priority. But now their relationship is really lacking in that intimacy that really sets romantic relationships apart from just being a friendship or a business arrangement. And so that really makes people feel unfulfilled by this most important relationship in their life. And it can be like a really heavy lift to get back to a place where you even want to be intimate with somebody that you've grown so distant from. And so I really encourage people to sort of, you know, think small and try to build intimacy in ways that are achievable for you given the phase of life that you're in, but don't fully kick the can down the road, right? Just try to fit in in ways that are reasonable but try to do something. Does that fit what you're saying? Can we unpack some of these strategies a little bit more because I feel like even without having kids necessarily, there are those moments in your relationship where you feel really close and there are moments where you might feel like you're pulling apart. So to have some simple strategies that you can use especially as our plates get more and more full that we can actually implement in our relationship to create the time and space for the fun as we were talking about in the deep conversations I think that'd be really practical for our audience. Yeah, so I mean, I often recommend to couples to dedicate one time per week that they have like enjoyable time together and one time per week that they have more meaningful like the more difficult conversations and there's a few reasons for that. So one is it's easier for people to get into the spirit of having fun if they make it a habit, right? It's sort of like a creative process, right? If you're trying to write a book and you just expect like, I'm gonna wait until inspiration strikes and then when inspiration strikes then I'll sit down and write that's never gonna work. And if you ask any creative person, they know you have to sit down for the muse to arrive. The same thing goes for relationships. In order to have fun, you have to spend time together. And yes, not every time that you spend together will be fun, but the more time you spend together and the more thought you put into making that time enjoyable, the more likely it is for you to have more enjoyable experiences. And another point too is to try to put in some variety to that. There's research that shows that the couples that do more various things stay more interesting to themselves and stay more interesting to their partner and that variety increases romantic intrigue. So that can be an important part too. The same kind of philosophy goes to having the harder conversations. And I'll add too that for many people having the hard conversations is really hard to motivate to do because you think, oh, well everything's fine right now. I don't wanna rock the boat or everything is so bad right now. I don't wanna bring things up and make it even worse. So by having a dedicated time in your calendar that this is when we have conversations, it sort of pushes you not to procrastinate and pushes you to like make it a regular habit. And that way you don't sort of feel like you're gonna ruin a good thing or make a tough thing even worse because it's just something that you do habitually. The other thing I recommend for the hard conversation pocket of your week is to think about structuring it in a way that you have like an endpoint because for a lot of people, the problem is like this is like a very gender thing but for a lot of husbands or male partners, their fear is like once that conversation starts, it's like never gonna stop. It's gonna be like 24 hours in and the wife is gonna keep wanting to have that conversation. This is of course a gender stereotype and there are lots of exceptions to the rule but this is the fear for a lot of husbands. And so what can make it feel a little bit more tolerable is to have like a start time and an end time and to have the end time involves something that feels a little bit more pleasant like having a glass of wine or watching a show so that you can decompress together in a positive way. So I encourage people to set it up in that way. The other thing in terms of positive experiences especially for busy people is I encourage this concept that Katie Milkman who's a researcher and she does a lot of behavioral science and she has a great book. I think you guys have had her on, right? Yes. She has a terrific book called How to Change and she has this concept called Temptation Bundling where you attach something positive to something that's harder. So I encourage people to do that with their relationship. So like here's like a silly example but if you're asking your partner to pick up dinner to like do it with a flirtatious text and ask and sort of make some insinuation that there's gonna be some romance after a night where you feel really good that your partner has offered to take care of dinner. So like take something that feels like a harder lift and attach it to something that's more playful and positive and put them together. I have lots of couples for example that have a really hard time connecting so they have their tough conversations or their fun conversations during their commute like they're both commuting in separate cars but they're like on the phone together so it's a way to connect during that time. So they're attaching relationship time to something that they're already doing. So those are a couple of the strategies that I think can be helpful.