 The makers of Wrigley's Spearman Chewing Gum invite you to enjoy life. Life with Luigi, a new comedy show created by Psy Howard and starring that celebrated actor, Mr. J. Carol Mash with Alan Reed as well. You know friends, Wrigley's Spearman Chewing Gum is a typically American product that appeals to people of all ages and nationalities in all parts of our country. And the Wrigley people feel that Life with Luigi is a typically American radio program. A friendly, enjoyable show that sort of symbolizes the American spirit of tolerance and goodwill. So the makers of refreshing, delicious Wrigley's Spearman Gum are glad to bring you life with Luigi each week and have you join them in this pleasant half-hours entertainment. And now let's read Luigi's letter as he writes about his adventures in America to his mama basco in Italy. Dear mama me, in America when a business is getting better they say it's a picking up. But to me my business is a most of the time my line of down. Last month I thought maybe it's a die altogether. But now it's like I'm a safe picking up. And yesterday I'm gonna put a $20 in a bank. Funny thing between me and a bank is like a tug of a war. Mondays I'm a push-in of the money and the rest of the week I'm a pull-out. Anyway I'm no wannabe millionaire. Like Uncle Pietro is always the same. Easiest way to become millionaire is to want less. Still maybe it's nicer to be millionaire. You got a beautiful house of people who respect you and they even name colleges after you. Sure they got a Brown University, Smiths College, Carnegie Institute. And then in California he's a one-millionaire he's so bashful the college is a name only after his initials that you see an LA. Anyway Mamma Mia like I'm gonna say business is a picking up and I would be on the telephone and making business all the day. Only I'm gonna got a party liner. I'm gonna gotta call somebody so you excuse me please. I'm gonna try right now. So I said to her surely I... Suppose all he does is play pinnacle. Mamma Mia my party liners are never gonna stop her talking. That's a two hours already. Well I'm gonna try again. Then what? She says... Was there something about changing the color of a Shirley's hair? Luigi Bosco or a party on your party liner? Well... Mamma Mia she's a talk of more than Uncle Pietro's a goat. Hello mister you come in for uh for nice antique? Yes frankly I've tried three shops so far but nobody seems to have it. Well if I'm a garret to mister you're gonna have it for a bargain of price. Thank you but suppose you don't have it. Then I'm sorry I'm gonna charge your regular price. Well what I want is something colonial. An antique that I can use as an ashtray to put on my television set which is also colonial. Oh it seemed impossible to mister. Wasn't there television in the colonial days? Oh I know that. Oh oh I know what you mean. And I'm a garret. All the New England coffee roaster. Draw a slice opener would make a wonderful ashtray. That's it. That's it exactly. Where do you have it? Well it's uh it's in my friend's antique shop. But don't worry I'm gonna call him up on a garret for you. That's excellent young man. I'll pay a good price for it. Oh that's excellent too. I'll accept the good price for it then. I'll wait to wait just a minute I'm gonna remember the number. Oh yes. So she says keep your hands off my... Well mommy at a time like this she starts to smoke. By the way Mary. One in a forty-two. One in a thirty-two. Please lady I'm gonna gotta make a business a caller. Maybe you're hanging yourself up. Where are you gonna find the time? It's all right please lady. When do you think you're gonna finish talking? Whenever I get through. So long? I mean it's so long. Such a trouble. I'm sorry mister but you see my party line is a busy. All it was a talk-a-talk. But she's a stopper soon. I'm a hopper. If you wait a little while it may be one or two or three hours. Oh never mind forget it. Good night. Oh sure. Sure I'm gonna blame him. I'm gonna blame him he must have said it's a summer way to run a business. And I'm gonna be as a better to lose the customers like that. Must be something I could do. Luigi my friend. I love Luigi. I love I love. Oh hello Pascuali. What's that sad look on your face little cabbage paws. You look like an old shoe with the tongue hanging out. Pascuali I'm worried about my telephone. My party line is she's always a talk-a-talk-talk. I'm gonna never get a chance to make business call. Is that a woman any you line Luigi? Yes. Then you might as well give up. Luigi when a woman was to get the right to vote it wasn't so bad. But when they got the right to talk on the telephone it was at the end of everything. Well it looks like it's gonna be the end of my business. Pascuali ain't that a summer long. Right Luigi I'm pretty good at handling the women and let me try it for you. Besides you maybe they're not talking to now. That's impossible Pascuali. I'm a think I can hear them without even picking up the phone. But darling I tried your recipe and my husband got sick for two days. That's too bad they all didn't try it. Luigi you gotta be a diplomat. Now watch me use what they call diplomacy. You left out the fried onions? Sure how do you expect to get any taste to an out of fried onion? Two. Excuse me ladies I'm a like the wind producer myself. Is it Pascuali talking from Pascuali's spaghetti palace? How do you do? Mama mia now Pascuali's a join the party. Sure now listen here's how you gotta make it the sauce. Pascuali Pascuali when they get them off. Luigi don't interrupt where's your manners. Now look ladies. Oh wait I'll get a pencil. That's all right then we got plenty of time. Pascuali give me that a telephone. Hey wait. Oh Luigi was that a nice hanging up like that on a two nice ladies? I'ma think it was a three nice ladies. You've got to know manners at all. I got a good mind to report you to Emily's a post. Pascuali what am I gonna do? If this keeps up I'ma could be out of business soon. Take it easy Luigi calm down relax. You know as always a prince charming is always a common for his a cinderella and if you're the one who's wearing the little shoes then along comes this prince charming with his a wand that needs to say well well well. No please please Pascuali hurry up but these are little shoes are killing my feet. All right all right you've got to know imagination. What I'ma try and explain to you is I'ma get you a private life. Pascuali you get to me private telephone? Sure little banana loaves. And you ain't got far to go because this private line is right next door. Pascuali you're gonna let me use a used star phone? Oh no it's better than that my star phone is almost a busy but it's the one up the stairs is never being used. I'ma gonna put the cord right in here and you can follow it up anytime you want. What am I gonna follow it to? Well you go past my bedroom down the hall to the back of bedroom and there's the beautiful the telephone. Back to bedroom huh? Pascuali and the dirty door is the roses bedroom? So what the loo? So I ain't going in there please you know Pascuali help me. All right all right I'ma help you. If you wanted somebody who could help you with your telephone go down and say JD Watson. JD Watson who's he? Oh he's the man who's to know everybody who's a who's a who. Who's a what's a who? Who's a who's a who? What am I talking about? Look you go to JD tell him I said to you and I said he should fix you up. He said he's a fixer in the neighborhood of fixers of things for everybody. Pascuali I'ma want a telephone and not the plumbing. Oh Luigi how you buddy and you must be a terrible partner in Canazza. Now look look just do like I say go to Watson here's his address. He'll pull a few strings down the company. First thing you know psst private telephone. Oh thank you Pascuali you real lifesaver. Lifesaver then maybe you do me a flavor huh? Marry my daughter Rosa. Well I'ma go oh wait wait I'ma gonna try the telephone once more. You think? Too bad it wasn't your telephone. Goodbye. Now wait a minute Smiley if there's one thing I can't fix it's the phone company. I don't care how you do it JD. But. One of my boys says I hate too much for it. I gotta have another phone number. But. He can give that to his customers. The pinch is over he can operate again. And my bookies gotta operate JD. Yeah but who's gonna be dumb enough to give me their phone number. Hey but so long. Holy cow who can I get a hold of at a time like this? Oh hello I'm Luigi Pascoe I'ma look for JD Watson. All right I'll tell him when he comes in right now I'm busy. What if you don't mind I'ma wait. You see Pascuali is a sent me here. I said I'm busy. That's all right I'ma no interrupt. Is it just that those ladies they always are talking on the telephone and I'ma no want it I'ma win a private the phone. I took. Did you say you didn't like your phone because someone else was always talking on it. Yeah but are you too busy to listen to me. Just give me your number I'll have it fixed so they never get a chance to say a word. Oh thank you friend. Yes sir you just go back and I'll kill two birds with one stone. Oh no no please I'm gonna want a telephone if you gotta kill a little birdie so together. Oh well don't worry I'll take care of it. Good and thank you very much Mr. Mr. what's your name. JD Watson. JD Watson. Son yeah you see I'm a busy man. I can't talk to every Tom Dicker Harry who comes in. Oh then it's a lucky for me. My name is Luigi huh goodbye. Oh brother now to get back to Smiley. Couldn't get a better fall guy. Hello Smiley got it all set my friend. Fast service yep now here's the number and you give it to your friend. Come on Mamiya what a wonderful fix. I'ma just come back when already my phone is ringing. Hello huh what. Two dollars on an old fiddle. I'm sorry I'm an old fiddle but I'm a got all the spinning away. What the races is she running in her. She's a no-runner she's a spinning. Is she two-year-old. No she's 150 years old. What no my name isn't at the joys of Luigi and I'm a. That's so funny he's a hang up. What the kind of talk is that. Hello you you want Jim Dandy to show. To show what. What do you mean just to tell Joe five dollars and that's all. Oh wait there he's a hung up too. Mamiya what a terrible thing has happened. I'ma got to my own a telephone but now I'm somebody else. We've returned to life with Luigi. I'd like to drop in a word about delicious Wrigley's spearmint chewing gum. You know folks Wrigley's spearmint gum is one taste treat you can enjoy almost any time and anywhere whether you're indoors or outdoors. Working playing or just taking things easy you can slip a stick of Wrigley's spearmint into your mouth and enjoy some good pleasant chewing. The flavors cool and refreshing and the chewing itself adds a bit of enjoyment and satisfaction to whatever you're doing. So keep a package of healthful delicious Wrigley's spearmint chewing gum handy all the time. It's an enjoyable treat you can carry right with you. And now let's turn to page two of Luigi Basko's letter to his mother in Italy. And a so mom and me is a terrible thing I happen with my telephone. There's a no two ladies there's a no Joe now it's a no work all together. I'ma can't even call up at the company and complain. All day long this is so quiet I'm even missing those two ladies. Now what's it gonna happen to my business everything is so strange. Luigi my fellow boob. Oh hello Schultz. I was passing by to make a delivery so I thought I would stop. Now what's the matter Luigi you look a little hmm Schultz I'ma feel a little hmm. My telephone is in no work. You mean it's dead? That's right why it's a daddy Schultz. Say if somebody stuck it a finger in your ear and dialed you all day long you wouldn't be so healthy either. Ah she up smile Luigi did you pay it your telephone bill. Oh sure Schultz always I pay my bills the same day I'ma get them. Ah it's people like you who give the rest of the country a bad name. Now think Luigi is there any other reason why the company should cut it off your telephone. Well I don't know Schultz it's all started yesterday. I was to pick up my telephone it was a party where Anna was to tell daddy about her spaghetti. Then Pascuali has added the fried onions before he's sending me to J.D. Watson. And now I'ma. Stop Luigi stop are you for shimmered. Well I ain't got enough time to un-for-schimmel you so you better go right down to the phone company and let them straighten you out. But but it shows you think I'ma can get in trouble with the phone company. Of course not Luigi they are always ready to help out their customers. Now go and smile be like me Luigi always happy always loving. Ha ha ha ha oh my oh my gism is killing me. Will you have a seat sir I understand you had a bit of difficulty getting to me. Yeah that's right everybody I'ma see is to send me to somebody higher up. If you send me to somebody else I think I'ma gonna be on a roof. Well they're all just trying to trace your trouble. Well it's easy to trace if you just call up on my telephone and nobody's answer. That's for me. Here here's my number. Central three five or four nothing and nothing. Nothing nothing. Yes sir I'ma used to say central three or three five or four oh oh. Then a people would say what's the matter Luigi something is hurting you. Let me look it up. Yes Mr. Clark. Oh Ms. Harvey will you look up a disconnect. Yes Mr. Clark. It's a uh what's your name please. Hey Luigi Basko. Luigi Basko central three five four oh oh. What's the matter Mr. Clark something hurt you. No no I have the file right here in my desk. Good read it to me. Basko 21 North Halstead Street service terminated 4 p.m. above date reason bookmaking. Service terminated 4 p.m. reason. Oh yes what the kind of reason is it this uh yes. Ms. Harvey send up inspector McIntyre at once. Uh Mr. Basko is your telephone in your place of business. Oh sure it's stand right next to bust of George Washington. If you walk into my store when I'm on a telephone and you don't know who's talking to me on a Washington. Ha this is Luigi Basko. Oh yeah. Basko this is inspector McIntyre. Inspector you mean he's inspector telephony. Now look Basko we know you're only a small fry we don't want you we're after the big fish. Somebody's a making a mistake. I'm a got an tick store not a fish market. You won't cover anything kidding pal. By were you Mr. Basko I tell him everything. That's right Basko you better come clean. I'm gonna understand this. I said come clean. But I am a clean I'm gonna take a shower before I'm gonna come here. Look Mr. Inspector what do you want from me. Stop stalling the police know you were using your phone to make book. No you want to make stuff I don't make the books I tell you I'm a got an tick shop. Cut it you were taking horse bets. You're crazy how can a horse that call up and make a bet. All right Mr. Clark will you call in my man Prodnick outside. Certainly. What's what's happening all I'm coming here for is a telephone and now. If you'll only tell me who's the brains of the outfit who do you report to all the time. Oh well why you know ask me before I'm gonna tell you who I'm a report to all the time. I had some my country money for squally squally. Well sure sure he's brought to me here from the other country. I'm gonna report to him every week and I'm gonna pay him rent to do. Rent huh well that's more like it. You call me boss. Yeah I thought this would be tough to crack. Well you want me to make him sing. No it's all right I thought he'd be tough to crack. But I think he's willing to sing now. Aren't you Mr. Basko. Come on sing. I'll be down to catch in a taxi cab behind me. But I'll be ready at thirty o'clock. Shut up shut up or I'll let you have it. Now please please please you know touch. I'm gonna like it this. I'm gonna home. Wait a minute. No no you know actin nice. Goodbye please. Shall I grab him boss. No Prodnick is Casey out in the hall. Here I am boss. Casey I want you to tell him and see if he goes to the guy he reports to. Follow name of Pascuali. Okay boss I'm on my way. Pascuali Pascuali. Luigi look on your face all wet. The necktie twisted around your ears. Hair standing up on end. You look like you just took a nap on the bottom of Lake of Michigan. But Pascuali is a terrible. Telephone a company has a got inspector who's a make him a singer. But when I'm a singer he's got a matter because he says that the horses is a calling to me to make a bet. That's a funny thing Luigi. You use a good English words but when you put them together it's a come out of new language. Now try again. First to take a deep breath. That's a boy. When you breathe deep your body gets a plenty of oxadol. All right. All right Luigi now now tell me what's happened. Well I was talking to Schultz and he said I should go to the telephony company. So I went to there. Oh you stupid green horn of boob. You listen to that delicatessen of man. Don't you know immigrants if they got a complaint to make about their service they got to keep it a secret. That's what they call a secret of service. And you violated it. Come on mummy. This time I'm a true warrior Luigi. For the last time I'm a wash of my hands off of your face. Pascuali Donna please help me help me. Help me help me help me. Sure sure Luigi I'll help you. But only on one condition. One condition? Well all right what is the condition of Pascuali? Did you make me a blushing father-in-law? Oh no. Oh yes. And I ain't awakened this time or I'll let you suffer the Quincy Conses. Now I'm going to call it the bride to be. Rosa Rosa Rosa yes my little body cop say hello to Luigi. No Pascuali wait wait. Give me a chance to think. I'd like a cup of coffee. Sure Rosa darling you wait on the customer. All right Papa. Well Luigi no Pascuali give me a few minutes. And don't talk so loud Pascuali that's embarrassing. Don't tell me not to talk loud in front of customers. I ain't afraid of nobody. Luigi since you come here I'll give you everything. Protection money got you out all kinds of scrapes with a law. Pull the strings. Make it two cups I'm a heavy drinker. All right. I told you I would take care of you and that's what I want to do. All I ask you is when a certain party should have called up and to say who's watching over Pascuali's business I should hear your voice. I'll have a third cup. Coming up. So what are you saying Luigi you're going to play it safe for taking my money and living like a king without ever having to work hard or you're going to leave and taking your chances and maybe wind up in the jail. Can I use your phone? Certainly it's a boots right there you've got a nickel you can use it. Thanks. See Luigi if you got any money you can talk how you want to the customer. Hello Mac you're right this is the payola get some of the boys in a couple of wagons. Oh yeah get hold of Hoover maybe get an open wire to Truman this might be page one. Hello repair this is police give me a disconnect prano on this line and all privates on 280 42 80 97 J homicide. Well what do you say? All right all right the Pascuali you're right there's no use for me to struggle I'm a give up I'm a mario. That's a smarty you hear that a Rosa Luigi's are going to marry you. Oh shut up what do you think this is a parade now look Luigi we're going to waste no time I'm going to call up for the preacher and we're going to set the date. Hello hello it's a funny thing there's no answer. No answer. That's right Bob and there ain't going to be any. What are you talking about I dial again. Don't bother the phone is dead. Mamma Mia must have been catching all over telephones. Shut up shut up you hear. Hey what are you saying still this is a pinch don't try reaching for anything and you don't pour those coffee grounds down the sink. This is a federal case. And a song Mamma Mia was a summer mix up in a police station. I was lucky my night's going to teach him his folding and my classmates Horowitz Olsen and Schultz they miss me. When they found out where I was they went to there explain everything and I was a little out there but it was a Pasquale was different. First when he heard they call him at the brains of the whole of Chicago he's a feeler and nobody ever told him he had so much of brains before. Then when he really found out he's got a very mad and I called up JB Watson to fix everything. So far Pasquale and a Rosa is in there today. And a Rosa she was so angry she's a went on a hunger strike for five minutes. Then she's began to nibble under the bars. Well I think they're going to get out too soon so there's nothing to worry about. Right now I'm going to call up and my teacher is folding it to thank her. Now Jody you know I'm mad. Mama Mia I think it's going to be faster if I'm right to miss folding a letter. If you're loving the son of Luigi Bosco the little immigrant. Folks the makers of Wrigley's Spearmint Gum hope you enjoyed tonight's episode of life with Luigi and they'd like to remind you that Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum not only tastes good but is also good for you. It's a well-known fact that chewing on a smooth piece of gum gives you comfort and satisfaction when you're feeling tense or a bit upset. It sort of relaxes you without slowing you down. And if it's Wrigley's Spearmint Gum you're chewing well you get the extra enjoyment of that refreshing delicious real spearmint flavor. So remember to get some Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum on your way to work or when you're doing your shopping tomorrow morning. It costs so little and tastes so good you'll want to enjoy it often. The makers of Wrigley's Spearmint Gum invite you to listen next week at this time when Luigi Bosco writes another letter to his mama Bosco in Italy. Life with Luigi is produced and directed by Psy Howard. Mack Benoff writes the script with Lou Dermott. J. Carol Nash is starred as Luigi Bosco with Alan Reed as Pasquale, Hans Conrad as Schultz, and Jody Gilbert as Rose. Music is under the direction of Lud Glaskin. Friends the Wrigley Company invite you to listen to their other program The Gene Awfrey Show heard every Saturday night over most of the same CBS station. Be sure to see Luigi in color and read the story of J. Carol Nash in the June 10th issue of Collier's Magazine now on the newsstand. Bob Stephenson speaking, this is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.