 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Sucked a blood shit he found in a vomit bag. Come. Are we live, man? Yeah. Appset number 23 and it's quite a historic one because this will be the last episode we ever film on this set right here in Michael's house, it is bare. There's nothing around, we've moved everything into storage and we will hunt for another house to rent and live in. But for now, we don't know where the next podcast will be from. Yeah, it's just like a mystery. Well, I'm guessing it might be a Jimbo's Jimbo's basement. It might be James's basement. And that means we can get him on straight away. And that means we're closer to our friends at the Gold Coast to get them on for guest. Oh, yeah. It might save him 10 minutes. About half. Oh, really? I reckon about 20 minutes. OK. Sorry. So yeah, this would be the last time you see. I don't know what the set's going to look like next week. So be rare, be rare and stay ready. No one knows where anyone is. Does that make sense to you? Will the green screen still be there? You reckon, Matt? No, we'll take that down. Oh, we might not have a green screen for James's base. We might not be really anywhere to put it up. That's true. Look, we might have to go some episodes without a green screen and everyone has to deal with it. Deal with the deal with the deal with the fucking golf. Yeah, Matt came play golf today. You might notice he's got some white shit all over him. We got him. We got Matt very good. He, Matt, loves sunscreen, right? He puts it on everywhere, everywhere we go. Matt covers himself sunscreen. I poured the sunscreen out and replaced it with paint. Matt put the paint all over his arms, fucking hilarious. And then we continue to squeeze the paint on him throughout the day. Remember? No. But anyway, Matt's in one of our website videos called Brown Golf. Yeah, or something to do with golf and brown. Yeah, so it's basically it was Michael and Matt versus me and James and whoever lost the hole got punished. And there was some disgusting punishments, including getting pissed on, snot jetting on our faces, gargling a cup of everyone's spit. That got that got really far. Getting hit with a golf ball. There's some crazy shit out there, but mostly in here. Yeah, sorry. And that's pretty much all that's happened with us. It's been a big week. James has been sick, Julian's fucking got covered. We're hanging in there. I feel like for the first time in a month, I feel actually very good. Greg Brown got covered. Yeah, Matt Brown. Matt Brown, dad, Greg Brown got covered. Yeah, Brown, Brown, down, Brown, down. Is that what he texted you? Brown, down, Brown, down. Come to my head. Oh, no, good. Have you been scoping? Hope he's all right. Have you been speaking to Isla? Oh, good. I don't know if any of you guys saw this on our stories, on our Instagram stories. Jack Snowdoge lives with his sister, Isla, which Matt has been. We've all been member. We've been damning her and shit. She was on Bachelor Brown. Things are getting serious. And Jackson came home and quickly stored it. Isla was watching our podcast to watch Matt. So there's a spark. And it was on our stories. So something is happening here under the waters. There's some simmering coming on. I feel like things are about to start boiling. I will come to her defense. You will come on her fence. So everyone keep that going. Maybe even DM Isla right now and be like, No, no, no more DMs. No, it's just something nice. We're so happy you're enjoying the podcast. How good does Matt look? Something like that. Let's let's all wingman the brown because he I look like shit. I got paint in my head. It's beautiful. I love your jumper. It's a very colorful back. Is you actually like it? I thought it might be a bit too old. It was just a spare one I had in the car. It's a gray old. It suits you. I'm losing it. And it off. Anyway, before we before we can out, don't take your colorful jumper off. Go and show everyone. Oh, yeah. That's all paint. Yeah. Wow. That's the actual. It used to be a red shirt. Yeah, it did. Hey, before we continue, just letting you guys know we're running a comment competition where we pick one comment around at the end of the season and give that person a thousand dollars. Any comment from this whole season four we take into account. OK, so if you comment, you're automatically in the running. You don't have to do anything. The more times you comment, the higher your chances of winning. You don't want some random cunt who's never watched our podcast. Just comment, oh, yeah, nice. And then him win. They are doing that. The regulars. The regulars. You want to make sure that you win. So you need to make sure you're commenting a lot. At least 10 times a month. Just in every game. If you just sit there for an hour every week, you'll probably win it. Look, if you honestly did five percent chance. For 10 hours, you probably have a pretty good shot. You just nonstop for 10 hours. Hello, Bosley. And that's $100 an hour. Some guy did. If you win. Some guy did a hundred comments. Any comments with the numbers. Impressive. Yeah, everyone likes seeing Jaden and Austin last week. The podcast is doing quite well. So we'll try and get some more guests on. Leave some guest suggestions in the fucking comments, cunt. Who do you want us to have on the fucking podcast? A few people have said a few times if we could get Willem. Willem Powell. Yeah, I have seen those two. Look, we'll try. He's a busy, busy man, but we will try. Maybe we pack the gear up when we go to him. Yeah, that could also be a possibility, if you could have any movie star on, who would it be? Ben Affleck. Any movie star? Don't get Matt's starter on movie. Well, sit down and get some popcorn. Oh, shut up. OK, I take that back. Next question. All right, let's get these sponsors out of the way so we can lie to Locky. It is a variant of this, just to let you guys know. We've got Lionel Locky. We've got the screaming segment. We've got the prank call. P.O. Box is back. There's a fucking jam-packed episode, so we're going to move right along. And we need to call Locky soon. Otherwise, he will be suspicious. Let's do it now. Someone's here. Yeah, I just heard that two-way. Someone knocking at the door. Hello? Imagine if we just got fucking killed right now. Oh, that would be awesome. Yeah. Like Greg? The COVID got to his brain, come on. Anyway, so. I hope he's OK. All right, everyone. Are you a fucking dumb fuckwit? Is that you? Well, if you are, shut up. Shut the fuck up, cunt, and go to manscape.com. They've got the best male grooming products known to mankind. All right? They are fucking insane. They are such high quality. And if you want to save time, buy their shavers because you can shave your hair in the shower. Yeah, that's right. You dumb pile of hairy shit. They're fucking shavers, a waterproof dickhead. So fuck you and fuck off, cunt. Use our discount code fullyactual20, dickhead, to get 20% off everything you fucking buy. Don't you understand that that's a no fucking brainer? It's free money, dick. Go to manscape.com, fullyactual20. Some of the products there I've never even seen before. They've got the newest inventions ever seen, cunt. Fuck you and fuck your family. Go to manscape. Shut up. Did you just? Oh, that made me want to sneeze. Thank you. And of course, we have the University of Markle, where we post weekly videos of our life, of the videos that are far too fucked to post to social media. They're graphic, they're violent, they're fucking disgusting. And this week out on the website, what do we have? What do we have? Oh, the extended of how many, how many walls can you run through? Michael and I did a science experiment. We turned basketballs into bombs. Also, you guys are going to hear me out, because we want to give this piece of content to you guys for free. The Matt Browns Black Book has been animated. There's a five minute animation going on to the website video coming out this Sunday. So if you're a website member, go and watch it. And then comment, let us know what you think, because we love it. Now, podcast people, I know you've probably freaking, oh, it's coming up. You don't have to, OK? We're just going to, we are going to post this to YouTube next week, but we're just very scared. It's going to get deleted. We're going to get a big fat strike. Should we not post it? Because it's going to get deleted. I think we just demonetize it immediately and then just see what happens. Or we can post it to only fans. But then I feel like people most, a lot of people still won't see it. Yeah, I feel we'll have to definitely demonetize it. Let's just look, let's just schedule it and see what happens, all right? And we'll talk to Connor about it too. He knows YouTube rules a lot. Yeah, and he's talking to you. If the following week we're not on here, we're not there, it's because we got deleted. Yeah, exactly. Everyone will know. So yeah, that's what we've got coming on. And that's like half our episodes every single week. If you want to just see the content to see if you want to stick around, see if you like it, there's a link in the description, 21 day free trial where you can watch over 200 of our unseen videos, see if you like it and then decide to stay on or not before you're even charging any money, cunt. Fuck off. Really? Yes, I've told you that, like every fucking time, I've told you that, I sit here and I say this every week, fucking cunt, blue baby in your lap, hiding your stiff. You should have the, you should get a dog too. Yeah, I've thought about it, maybe next house. That's our sponsors, all right everyone? And if you can't do any of those things, no stress, just like, comment and subscribe. That helps enough. Order a five star review on Spotify. We're nearly at a thousand five star reviews on Spotify. Really? And that's great work everyone, yes. So keep that fucking going, Spotify, fucking team, that's fucking sick red hot cunt. And don't forget to like, comment and subscribe and to just basically whatever we say, sort of just do it. Yeah, or at least some of it. One or two of the things, if you want. Probably. All right, let's move right along. We, without further ado, it is time to lie, to Locky. And this is a segment where we call Locky. We, every single week, we try and set up a lie. And if he believes it, we immediately make fun of him and it's just great. This is getting, well, all right, this is getting got. All right, so this week, we went to the Gold Coast on Tuesday to film a video with Jackson and Locky. Julian, that's when this started for this segment, all right, so there's been a bit of work put in. Julian said to him, there's Splinter in the Grass coming on, there's this big artist there who wants us to do some work for him. I'll split the money with you, Locky. And Locky's like, fuck yeah, fuck yeah. So we're gonna get Julian now to, we'll call Julian. Julian's gonna call Locky and hopefully he'll be able to hear it everywhere. Julian says, you can. And then as soon as he takes the bait, that is when we jump in and fucking can't. These are getting so in depth. So he thinks he's got this like $5,000 gig at. Oh, that's so shit. He started budgeting his life around that five grand. All right, here we go, calling Julian now. Imagine if Julian had overdosed. Oh, fuck. That's actually possible. Oh no, he's not answering. Hey, Julian, I'll go and get to the phone right now. All right, look, we're gonna move on, but I'm sure that he will call back, okay? And then hopefully it's not too late and Locky won't be none the wiser. But you know what's gonna happen. So keep your ears pissed for a ringing phone, everybody. Moving on. All right, let us move on quickly to On This Day. I was just saying to Michael, I forgot that my arms are all white. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because that's where you put the sunscreen first, thinking it was sunscreen, but really it's paint. Remember? Yeah. All right, here we go. On This Day, Matt's come in and done a bit of research. Ooh. Did some extra office hours to get this done. All right, and this is what has come up. Yeah. On This Day in 2007, Kanye West grilled a plastic bag filled with prostitute chins. He bit the chins off of over 200 prostitutes. They were well cooked and seasoned with salt, pepper, garlic and a bit of chili and some paprika. Then Kanye served the prostitute chins to his guests at his house. Everyone enjoyed the prostitute chins and no one knew what they had just eaten. Some asked while they were eating, what is this Kanye? But Kanye would just reply, it's sex worker chins and everyone would just laugh it off thinking that Kanye was just saying something crazy. But now because of my research, the whole world will know of Kanye's prostitute chin eating. So spread the word, my friends. This is 100% real. Yeah. Wow. They actually based the movie Hannibal Off Kanye West. Even though it came out before. Like the bones as well or just the chinskin? Just the chinskin. Sometimes you get a little bit of bone now. Sometimes you get a little bit of bone and you. No wonder he like imagine. Surely if you're a prostitute, you'd come forward if that was happening. No, but it improves. They all get improved chins. Is that right? Like a fetish job. Yeah. So they're like, fuck. I don't know. Maybe he just thought the other deep chins would have thought he would have just paid them off or something. Probably the ones that didn't like it. Yeah, right. Anyway, moving right along. Shall we fucking can't. Sorry. Sorry. That's crazy, man. Next up, we have Michael's Bible, everybody. And now Michael's Bible is his own Bible that he's written. He is a God. And during this time, prefers to be referred to as Beezus instead of Jesus. Michael has as many wisdom and is spilled out of his head into his Bible and he wishes to read an excerpt for us so that we too can take power from his wisdom, Matt Brown. Matt Gregory Brown. Let's see there, Matt Brown. I look so evil. What does that look like? Oh, yeah, it does look like like Matt Brown. Thank you, everyone. Evil Brown. Breville Allen. OK. This one doesn't have a chapter, but you get what I mean. It was just written down really quickly. Really? On a bit of parchment. Mum is spelled M-U-M in Australia and it's spelled M-O-M in America. That means that we are different. But are we really? Are we really that different? No, we aren't because we are all people at the end of the day. End is also spelled E-N-D, but sometimes it's spelled A-N-D. Shake that thing, Miss Kanakana. Shake that thing, Miss Annabella. Shake that thing, Jan Donadonna, Jodie and Rebecca. Sorry. Wow. That was actually a spell or something. How do they say mom in German? Mama oder Muti. Meine Muti. Wieso lachst du? Wasst du los jetzt? Wasst du hier? Ich muss ja gelesen. Ey, weg dich, man. There's some chinshit going on there. Mein Hund. Fuck that, man. My Hund hat Angst. Mein Hund hat Angst von mir. Fuck. Mein Hund hat Angst von mir. Mmhmhmhmhmhmhmhmhmhmhmhmhmhmhmhmmhummhmhmhm. Mein Hund hat Angst von mir. Mein Hund hat Angst von mir. Mein Hund hat Angst von mir. Mein Hund hat Angst von mir. Von mir. Von mir. Okay, fuck me. That's some dark shit. It's coming back in seconds. It's coming back in seconds. It's coming back in seconds. Open top, my excellent second. Balzi just kissed me for those listening. Matt's black book. Oh, oh yes. Actually, maybe we should do the screaming segment first because I feel like Julian's going to call back in the middle of the black book. Okay, let's try calling again. Alright, let's try and call Julian quickly. And then we'll try screaming and then call Julian. I can't believe this has happened. Hey, Julian. He's being clever. He's snickering like a human. That was German. Julian? Alright, wait, wait, wait, wait, you're on the podcast right now, Julian. I am? Yeah, yeah, this is it, dude. You've, you've, we can all hear you. Hey, Bob. Stop, Bob. This is it, Julian. Hey, Matt Brown. Hey, Julian. Alright, everyone knows what's going on. So you're going to call Locky now and we'll be able to hear it. And then as soon as you, Locky agrees to even the slightest bit of the lie, maybe we should even start with, oh, you know that, um, how that artist wants us to film that thing tomorrow. And then as soon as he goes, yeah, and then we all go, yeah, I'm going to say that I've got COVID and that he can do the full job and get paid like five grand just to fuck all. Yeah, yeah, take it further. I reckon we should always try and to make this funner. Let's try and make that lie more elaborate each time he agrees. So what's the next stage? Say that you've got a ticket to outer space. Fuck, shut up, Michael. I'm going to call him now. I'm going to call him now. You guys will be on hold for a bit, but then I'll be like, hang on. I'm just getting out of the blue system. Like, I'm nervous. I'm nervous. Good luck, Julian. J.W. in the house. I'll be quiet. You there? Yeah. Yeah, sorry. Um, yeah, dude, um, I just got a call back from that guy from Tony about filming for age, but I've got COVID, bro. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, I just, I tested positive yesterday. But would you want to, uh, for five thousand film him? Yeah, I'll give you some. Oh, yeah, no, no, but like, no, I'm not going to do. Oh, like, if you just film him and edit, um, because they said like four thousand, uh, what's it called? Fucking pounds. Yeah. And then you've just got to film him there. And then I'm just going to film the sideshow next week when I'm like, you know, like not isolating. Yeah. Wait, um, when is this? I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll give your number to the guy and he'll sort you out with like backstage passes, all that sort of shit. But it's just that in Byron tomorrow if you can make it. Yeah. I'll message Jackson to what's happening tomorrow. Yeah, sweet. But you're definitely, definitely keen to. Yeah, yeah, if we don't have anything on tomorrow for sure. All right, sweet. Oh, yeah. And one more thing. You've been lied to, we've got you. It's another lie. Like, there is no job. There is no job. There is no money. Like you have been lied to. We've been selling this up for days. So fully actual strikes. He's been fucking telling me to have a full fucking full day. Keep a line going for so long. Did you film it yesterday? Get a job, you fucking idiot. Oh, we set this up on Tuesday or Monday. I mean, all week. Yeah, yeah, I'll let you know. I'll let you know around Thursday. Oh, well done, Julian. We got it. We got it, we got it. Fucking god. Can you film yesterday? Hey. Can you film like a few days ago? Yeah, when we came up, we mentioned it, but we didn't do it. We didn't film any of it. We just wanted to plant the lie seed. You would never ever be able to trust anyone. Everything I tell you from now on is truthful. That's a lie. You can't trust fucking anyone like you. Everyone is lying to you, Lachlan. No one is safe, cunt. Your father. Oh, my God, you fuck it. I didn't expect anyone to line it up with me, like, tell me, like, really get me down a little bit. Oh, that was good. That was very good. Life's getting so hard for Lachlan now. Anyway, sorry for wasting your time, Lachlan. We'll chat to you next week. See you next week, Lachlan. Well done, Julian. We fucking got that. Was that good? That was fucking perfect. Next week, I think we're going to try. Actually, I'd better not say it because he might listen to this. But we got we got our ways to infiltrate Lachlan's life. I've already got another free plan. Don't be worried. Yeah, it's exciting. It's my new favorite segment. It's a good hobby. It's lying to Lachlan. It's good to actually show you. Michael, guess what happened today? What? I knew I was going to hang up. I knew that. And he pranked you. All right, now that was good. Oh, man, I'm glad that that worked so well. Thank you. I want to tell him something about we got some good ones coming for Lockheed. All right, who are you? Who am I going to call? I say I call a late night shopping. I'll call a retail store. OK, I'm going to call City Beach and see how big their tolerance is to screaming customers on the phone. Have you got the camera? Yeah, yeah, we'll get the camera up as soon as I start flying. I predict are again 12 seconds. Is your phone on phone? Yeah, I'm going to say because, yeah, they'll probably be pretty busy. So they probably won't want to put up with too much. I'm going to say 18 seconds. Yeah, I'm going to go 22 seconds. Twenty two seconds. All right, Bosley, I'm so sorry that you have to hear this. I feel like grabbing his ears and just holding them. He's going to be so scared. He wants to stay close to us because he doesn't like change. This whole place has changed. Anyway, that's enough Bosley psychology. Here we go. Oh, my God, Brown. You fucking nailed it, Brown. Twenty one seconds and point eight. Twenty one point eight seconds. City Beach, they're laughing. People should be dying. Yeah, she even said sorry, which was amazing for me. Oh, wow. It's that old thing. If you yell for help, no one's going to come. But if you yell fire, they'll come running. No one cares if you're screaming and dying and asking for help. But, you know, if it's a fire, they'll come. So we won't test that theory. We're going to scream for help and then scream fire. See how many more people come. That's a great idea. Thank you. Oh, no, I don't want anything to scream fire and pointing at the ground. And there's nothing there. Oh, that's a great idea. All pointed a light out of the. That's a great video. We just run around and then the last clip of the video, we are on fire. Yeah, like, I guess we'll be going to like a real big meditation state. Remember when we set you on fire? Oh, dude, worst idea ever. Anyway, hey, sorry. Ah, OK, guys, it's it's time for a bomb break. And then when we return, it's the most the toughest segment to do. It's Matt's black book. So quick bomb break. No, fuck off. Don't touch me. Don't fucking touch me. Matt, I'm not kidding. Don't fucking touch me, Matt. Stop it. Matt, don't fucking touch me. OK. Even alone. Anyway, we're back. And during our break, we also discussed and look, Michael and I aren't 100 percent happy with our bachelor brown person this week. So and because we've still got five segments to get through for now, we're just going to save it for next week and just make sure that we've got like a proper solid person that we know might have a potential future with Matthew Gregory Brown. All right, guys, without any without further ado. This is like the opposite of the Bible, the book I'm holding in my hand. It's black. This is the Bible, wine, and this is the opposite of it. So they are like magnets. They won't actually touch. See, it's impossible. There's a force. Anyway, this is a book which contains every single one of Matt's sexual conquests in his entire lifetime. Matt is a changed man. A few years ago, he fucking snapped out of this. And this book will tell us how he reaches that conclusion. All right. But all you need to know is that Matt has fucked and fucked and fucked. And he's written them all down and here they fucking are. This is Matt Brown's Black Book of Havns. I want to do it. I really don't like want to do it. Here we go. OK, and just to recap, obviously, so last week. Matt got out of the whale that he was trapped inside the stomach of it. Some Japanese whalers caught the whale, cut him free. And they wanted payment to take Matt home and let them all gang fuck him as payment to take him home. And he did fuck a baby whale. Yeah. Remember that. Don't ever forget that. No, no, no one will ever forget that. There's not many humans that you end up fucking baby. I mean, there's lots of corpses. Oh, man. Thank you. Still humans. Yeah. Oh, all right, I'll give you that one. Don't deny that. I'll give you that. OK, here we go. Sorry. OK, here we go. Sorry. Number 59. Pitch the tip. Takes me back. I woke up still on the boat. It was nighttime now. I sat up and my body still ached from the vicious fuck attack delivered to me by those Japanese whalers this morning. I turned to look at Pinocchio and he's still just staring straight ahead, expressionless. He was clearly still very traumatized from seeing what the whalers did to me. I decided to have a little bit of fun and pick on him a bit. Hey, Pinocchio, remember when those two Japanese men cheesed in my mouth and I started chewing it and it made them throw up? Pinocchio suddenly stood up and without even acknowledging my hilarious teasing, he began power walking towards the edge of the whaling ship. Hey, Pinocchio, what are you doing? Still, he ignored me. Sensing something was up, I stood. Pinocchio reached the edge of the ship and turned around to face me. He pulled out a nail gun and held it against his head. I'm sorry, mad bra, with what I've seen. Pinocchio, no! Bang! Pinocchio shot and a nail speared through his wooden skull. It nearly shot completely through and sap started pouring from his wooden skull. I walked over and I watched the life drain from him. Pinocchio had been a fine companion and so I gave him an ocean funeral and threw him off the edge of the ship into the water below. I realized that without Pinocchio I would be dead. He saved my life. When I reflected deep within myself, I realized my actions directly influenced Pinocchio's decision to end his life and I thought to myself, oh well, the next morning the ship finally arrived to Australia. I said goodbye to my handsome whalers and depart from the ship. One thing I need to do before I head home is cleanse my soul. I had a lot to be grateful for after surviving, living in a whale's stomach for many, many days. I headed straight to church. It was time for my once every ten years confession. I entered the church. There were around eight people scattered around, sitting and praying. As quietly as I could, I strolled past them and entered the confessional. It was dark, but I heard the priests speak from the other confessional. What brings you to my church? He said, forgive me, father, for I have sinned. How long until your last confession, my son? Ten years. Tell your sins openly and honestly. Okay, he goes. Father, I've been very bad, very, very naughty. Yes, please, go on. I've been thinking very naughty thoughts, and I've been doing very naughty things. I understand, but please, try and give as much detail as you can. I think about sex a lot, father. It's always on my mind. I get overwhelming urges to have almost everything. Okay, how often are you thinking these thoughts? Every second of every day, father. I'm thinking about it right now, in fact. The priest fell silent. It's almost like my brain is actually just one large cock. After a few more moments' silence, the priest finally spoke. Sir, so what are you thinking right now? I'm picturing you bursting in through this door and tonguing at my necks. Then what? I could hear the priest's voice intensify slightly. Then I'm thinking about making a nest in my asshole out of my chest hair, so your cock has a comfortable place to sleep. I heard the priest shuffling around the confessional. Then I'm thinking what it would feel like to have your blessed cream ooze from my arsehole after you fill me to the brim. The priest stood and I could hear him battling with his urges. You need to stop this. This is incredibly sinful. I want to feel your flesh pulsing in me. The priest couldn't take it. He kicked open his door and ran to my side of the confessional. I stood and opened the door and greeted him, just as the priest lunged at me. We crashed back into my confessional, pashing with tongue. The priest was in his mid-60s, and his tongue felt dry and hard. I eagerly accepted into my mouth and pulled his soft body into mine. I grabbed his arse with both my hands and squeezed it powerfully. My thumb broke through his arse skin and the priest pulled back in pain. Oh, oh! Then he rocketed straight back to kissing me. I grabbed his short white hair and pulled his head back to expose his neck. Then I hungrily sucked and licked it. The priest moaned in pleasure and clawed at my back. Oh, oh! I opened my eyes and saw that the other eight people in the church were all standing and staring right at us. They looked totally shocked, which made me rock hard. Let's give them a show. I bend the priest over and lift up his priest's dress thing. With one hand, I part his arse cheeks and drive my painfully erect little brown straight down the middle of his colon. With my other hand, I pointed the eight people watching. Oh, goodness me! The priest struggled with the depth and width of my little brown, but that didn't stop me. I began fucking savoring the sensation of feeling his tight rim wrapped around my cock. I grabbed both of the priest's wrists and pulled him into me with every forward thrust. Some of the people watching started screaming. I felt my gills widen and I vomited lymph nodes onto his back. I reached around and started grabbing at the priest's junk. The priest was pushing back into me so my cock would go deeper and deeper. I had the priest's testicles and dick in my hand and started wanking them all together. The priest stoned his head back to me and I managed to vomit a few more lymph nodes into his mouth. Then we kissed with such passion that we both started crying. By now, six of the eight people had sprinted from the church and the two remaining were both crying. Nearly done! I screamed at them, arch your back, father. The priest did, the priest did arch and I started thumb fucking the cunt while I still wanked his cock and balls all at once. Minced welled up in my balls and exploded out of me. I came so intensely that I accidentally ejaculated four of my chromosomes. The priest started coming to and we both moaned and writhed in pleasure. I'd retracted my little brown before my mints could kill him and finished mincing on the floor of the confrational. The prince left a tasty load in my hand and I sucked my fingers while staring at the last remaining person in the church. Satisfied, we dropped to our knees. Have all my sins been forgiven, father? We will both burn in hell for this. I can't wait, cunt. I slapped the priest on the back and walked out of the church. I love my confessions. I bound home backwards at a leisurely pace and enjoy a nice warm bowl of piss. It's good to be home. I fucking... I didn't realise that you had multiple necks. That is fucked. God damn it. Quite fucked, man. Holy shit, that was... It's also quite fucked at the priest. Quite dark. Hang on, I was just proving a point with that one. Yeah, I think you sort of... If anything, you're sort of highlighting the amount of sexualness that goes on in the Catholic Church. The priest, yeah. So thank you for that, but honestly, fuck you, fuck you. I'm not touching you. Yeah, I reckon fuck you too. Like, thank you, but also stay fucked off, cunt. That's fucked, cunt. Yeah. I don't want to be... I'm scared to be alone with you. Oh, my God, that was... Oh! It's went deeper and deeper and darker and darker. Shit, poor old Pinocchio's dead too. Yeah, what the fuck? Committed suicide. Insane. I don't seem to be, like, you know, on a path anymore. Now I seem quite... I know I went through a dark period of just psychoticness, and that sounds like the start of it. Well, yeah. Yeah, man, like, I don't know what to say. Like, I wish you the best. Yeah. It's, yeah. Anyway, look, let's move right along. Like I said, no bachelor brown this week. Leave another week. We're going to find someone so s- BOOM! Right! I'm going to get fucking written off in outcome. Oh, I'm already slack, let me... All right, we're moving on to the cow, the comment of the week, which is a separate comment competition. We're running two comment competitions. This one is, you have a much high chance of winning that thousand dollars. If we pick your comment, it is not only is it immortalized on the board of the cow, the comment of the week, right? We cut it out and we print it and shit. We fucking, you are in the chance to win another thousand dollars at the end of the season. We just pick like funny, weird ones to be and the comment of the week, all right? The board is not up to date. Matt Brown, he's still on the hunt for Blu-Tac. I have them all, but... He has them all, yeah. We have a Blu-Tac. Because James used to be a teacher, he'll have a lot of cut and paste things at his house. He will, yeah. And we'll do a little, you know, sorry. Yeah, so anyway, we'll do that and then we're gonna answer your questions in the comment section. Well, I've really picked one now. Pick one now. I've really picked on this, so I thought maybe I'll just go and just see what we land on. Oh, a chance. A chance. Okay. What do you reckon? Do or... No. Comment of the week goes to Jake Andrews. Jake Andrews. Well done. Congratulations, Jake Andrews. What have you fucking said, Cunt? He has said, Austin looks like he definitely loves a little bong break. You have a frog in your throat. Clear it. There you go. He said, Austin looks like he definitely loves a little bong break. What a spat. Yeah, we got Super Flele. Yeah, we got quite a while on that one, Matt. Except for me. Yeah, that's true. Great comment. And that's the comment of the week. Oh, that's the... Did you choose that one? Brown pig donge. A chance. A random. That is so... We're not ever gonna do that again. From now on, we will be hand selecting them. By the way, guys, comment which segments you love and which we should fuck right off, Cunt. Because, like, at the end of the day, it's for you, Cunts. And it's for us. Well, ideas for new segments, too? Yeah, of course. Yeah, we have ideas, right? We've just sort of committed to these segments because the podcast goes for so long, but we should keep exploring new segments. I'm fucking dogs. I'd love to do like a... Could we give a refresher? Be English segment, where we just talk like English people? The screaming segment's new, and that's gone quite well. Yeah, well, I reckon lying to Lucky is the best. Oh, yeah, and that one, too. Yeah, we do bring new stuff in. You're right. I apologize. But let's get the audience involved and see if they can write some rings. Well, not to deny a good idea. Yeah, if someone makes a red hot fucking shit segment suggestion and it gets like fucking six likes, you probably do. Nah, I reckon 60. We'll see. Well, if there's a good amount of klele. I'll collect them anyway. I'll put them in a box. Anyway, these are the questions. We're going to answer your questions and we'll answer the questions on the Mighty Michael Fully Actual YouTube channel. And we answer the questions that are most likes first. And then I know sometimes we miss them and shits because they're not in order all the time. It's fucking hard time, right? But yeah, most likes. And so if you want us to answer your questions, just comment a question and then have a scroll through and like the questions you want us to answer. Shut up, can't go. All right. Top question went to Matt Kerr. And his question was, why does Marty no longer talk about the cows he loves? It's a, it's a sore spot. It's something that makes me feel, reminds me of when I would lose control. It's dairy. Oh, you sound so serious. It's, it's a, it's a time in my life that. To be honest, I suppress. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I don't trust myself with those familiar feelings. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. And I want to try and just stay, keep my mind narrow mind focused on what I need to do and just put one foot in front of the other and day by day get through it. Does that make sense to you? Yeah. I like the one sentence pause shit more though. It really like upset me. Yeah. I could, that's sort of cute to hear. Looking back after I had, I did what I did. I could look at the scene and thought to myself, it looks like a monster has done this, has done this. Okay, imagine that voice as, as like German, like I can see that's your German young boy voice. That's you when you were like five and you came back to German. It was you when you were four and you came to Australia. That's how you spoke, I reckon. It's also another time that I'd like to try and forget. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. You can see him in the schoolyards talking like that. Well, I'm getting slapped as hard as they can on my back and I couldn't afford a shirt. What did you say in German to try and stop the English kids from beating you? I never did, I would never dare speak German in an English school, I know what happens to that kid. Did you do it once? No, he would have been like this. I was only three, so I learned English before I even set foot in a car. You would have been like, can you please stop that? Yeah, that's what you would have been saying. That was my first English words, I can't know. My first English word was frog. Yeah, that's right. And that's so fitting because man, I've seen. Yeah, what the fuck? I didn't know any English before I went to kindergarten and then just somehow that worked out. Oh my God, see, I was like, what's your name? I had no idea and I remember grabbing on a mom and like they took like three of them teachers to fucking get my arm off, can't. Because I was like, I don't know these cunts. And I don't, can't talk to them because I don't speak their fucking language. What was your mom saying to you? It's a center that you go to. No. Something like that. Yeah, just shit like that. It's so dark. And then a teacher came and sent me down, we opened a picture book and there was a frog and she said, frog. Oh my God, really? That's what happened? Yeah, I felt bigger. So you had no training for your parents at home? No, because they didn't know English either. Rob was going to school and learning a little bit and he'd come and try and teach the family. Dude, that is so fucking funny. Oh my God. Rob, come on over. Rob was the teacher. Wait, how old was Rob? He was six. So he would have been like, you won. Oh, that is good. That is fucking great. Oh, he's so tough. Little German boy and you won. Ach du lieber. Thank you. Ach du lieber, nein, bitte. Oh, frog. But yeah, that's why I don't talk about that anymore. Yeah, holy shit. There you go. That's where that went down, that road. All right, next question is from Aussie Bread. Question for the podcast. Have any of you tried DMT, so what was your experience like and if not, what's your thoughts on what you've heard? A lot of people ask this question. We've answered this before, but we'll answer it again since we've got a lot of new viewers. I've done it once. It didn't work properly. I only got like halfway fucking astral projecting, so I can't really comment on the high. We think we love psychedelics. I think they can be very fucking good for you if you use properly. And Michael, why don't you tell us about your many DMT experiences? I think there's only been two DMT and one salvia. But like, oh, I've seen the mechanical elves. They are so interesting. And if you've done it before, this is a weird thing. You'll know about the mechanical elves because literally so many people see the mechanical elves. And then I've gone like zooped up into the universe and had a voice tell me that I'm not the center of the universe. And then I'm just a chapter in a story and then I folded over in that universe like a page in a book. And that was like, whoa, what the fuck? And then another time it was raining. I can't remember. That one's gone. It was raining. Sometimes you can't remember anything. It's just so... But it sounds cool. It sounds like it's like very like ego-death-y. Yeah, it's good. It definitely opens your mind up way more than you ever thought you could. Because we are not the universe. We are just pages in a fucking story, Matt Brown. I have Santa more. Except the black book. That's a book. Yeah. And the Bible. Imagine finding out that you're just a character in Matt's black book. Like we're just characters in someone's fucked up story. Yeah, well, it makes you think. Makes you think twice and hard. Next question. Would you ever do DMT, Matt? Yeah, but I want to be in a safe spot. Yeah. Maybe not with Marty near me. What would I possibly do to you? You have to go first. So I know that you're not going to fuck. All right, that's fair enough. And then I'll just come in about a minute behind you. I think I have some. It's not about... So you want us there? We wouldn't be able to do it with you. It's like a solitude drug. Oh, is it like the mushroom thing? Yeah, you will not know where they're in that room. We'll be gone. You can't talk to people. You'll be gone somewhere else. You'll be in another house. We'll drag you there through the woods. Yeah, in the 15-minute high, we'll drag you and you'll awaken in this new cabin. Probably sticks in between your roots. Oh, I time-traveled. It could be a prank on Matt, trying to convince him that teleports are real. Yeah, now I'm real scared. Next question is from Fanny LaRue Time. Fanny LaRue Time? I think, depending. Where? Did the advert on the TV and billboards ever work to get more followers? I don't think that was the aim, though, was it? No, it wasn't. And thank God it wasn't. It's done nothing. The stupid TV ad did nothing. And that was so insane, Matt, money spent. In hindsight, because you have to do it through a TV agency and in hindsight, because I was like, no, let's just put the ad on during prime time, like 7.30, because that's the only time anyone ever fucking watches TV these days, if anyone. And he's like, oh, no, no, you get formal bang for your buck if you put them on like 9.30, like on the secondary channels? He lied. And he's like, you can have it on for running for a month. So I was like, well, that's pretty tempting. It's a month. And he talked me into it. He talked me into doing that and I just wish I could go back and just be like, no, just play it for like three days, but just play it during prime fucking time-cut. Take a DMT. No one saw it. No one's ever said to me I've seen it. Yeah, we got a few DMs saying, no, I've seen your ad, but like, yeah, fucking nothing. And the billboard, nothing, not a fucking thing. Because the billboard scrolled through like 15 different things. Wasn't even like newsworthy. We fucking make the news because you're buried in some fucking chips. But then I fucking get a billboard, 15 of them, with him on, nothing. No one's interested in that. Shocking. I don't know. You don't know? I don't know. I have some theories. Sorry. The next question is from- Take your life. Is that what you said? I can't remember. Next question is from- Take your life. I didn't say that to someone. Sorry. Next question is from Clissa Adams. Clissa Adams? Come on, that's not a name. That's what it says. That's not a name. Here we go. All right. Do you all remember when the Y2K bug was gonna wipe us all out? What stupid shit did you guys do to prepare? I remember spending all night saving my shit to CDs off the computer. I was 11. We were little boys. I remember being quite excited. I was probably more relevant for me. So I just remember going- Yeah, because we're much older. Shut up. I would have been 12 or 13. 38. Mention him. That was 38. He's older than he is now. I'm 35. Anyway. Back then. Shut up. No, I just remember Dagon. Oh, I wonder if the TV, he's a work tomorrow. And I was like, no, no, no. And then we just have a good night. And that was it. Man, it's only a matter of time. And nothing happened. Not one thing. Imagine how many years it's away. Like what, 100, 200 till an asteroid hits? Well, it could be at any moment. Well, dude, it could be. Put in the comments if I'm interested to hear other people's stories of what you did to prepare for. What is it? YK2K? Y2K. Y2K. Y2K. Well, they had the theory that everything was gonna just go down. Have a read of some people's fucking stories in the comments. Next question, Flaila. Our next question is from Brody015. Of course you. Brody015, boys, any advice for doing shrooms for the first time? Yeah. Day time. Don't eat. Don't eat too much like beforehand. Eat very light. And then out in nature, I would start during the day. Even probably do it with your friends to keep yourself safe for your first time. And just set some cool shit up like maybe some like a trippy YouTube video or some music. Or a PlayStation with UFC on it. You won't be able to figure shit out when you're on mushrooms. It's so hard to work things out. Maybe some activities like darts. Yeah, but it's a very solitude thing again as well. For some people, they become very social. Others, I withdraw and I just wanna fucking figure out what's going on. I wanna be away. One of the funnest things to do is to look up at the sky during the day and watch the clouds. Yeah, yeah, that's cool. You can turn the clouds into anything you want. You can make the coolest little stories. I remember I made it rain once, remember? Yeah, you said rain and it rained immediately. So those are the things you can do on mushrooms. But yeah, you don't wanna be in a bad headspace and don't get pissed beforehand. Yeah. And have weed ready too. Yeah, mix it with weed towards the end once they're like the peaks happened. And anything to add, man? Not at all. If you can do it like I reckon say midday and then as you're coming down, you can watch the sunset. Oh, actually, I do. If someone is on mushrooms in front of you, just don't talk to them too much. Yeah, Matt's been sober in front of mushrooms, us. No, no, no. I was on mushrooms and people were talking to me and I had to be like... Some people, you get so irritated at just people talking and it's like a sensory overdrive. You pick everything up and you pick up like so and then you overthink social interactions. I can feel it now like I'm so painful just trying to have conversations and yeah. Like if there was a drip in the room, it would send you mad. Like I've hit someone in the face. Michael snuck into the room that I was in and apologized and I said if you say one word, you gotta get out and then you somehow slithered in, disappeared behind me. And I was very... It worked with me in the room. Yeah, you were fine because you... Dude, it was so insane. Watching the UFC when you're peeking on shrooms is the worst. It's like watching like brutal like... That's all Matt did. Just played the UFC video game. Or by himself in the media room. I wouldn't let anyone come in for like three days. I remember the colors of the TV like really getting out there. But it just, I think it was something to distract my mind. Otherwise, I was panicking. But that's not using the drug properly. Really? If you got that... Like play like a video game. It's like not... Yeah, you're meant to sort of deep into your brain. I got set in a bad path from the start though because everyone was having these conversations and me I was like, let me be. Yeah. I had 20 minutes of that. Yeah, what was I gonna say? Fucking swimming through like a little stream. Oh fuck, what was I gonna say? But then Mike Tyson did the hero. Did the hero one and... Go swine off. Yeah, that was us. You'll have that feeling of like starting to lose control a bit and you make you wanna panic, but just go with it. Just fucking go with it. Just relax. You will be fine. It's the safest drug you can do. Just know you'll be fine in like eight hours and just see what fucking happens. Let your mind go, can't fuck off. So next question is from Sassi the Sasquatch. Michael, what do you think the odds of getting a hole in one are now that you've got a hole in one? I think, I predict I reckon it's gonna happen within three years. What's the odds of getting two holes in one in a row? But this has to be a real hole in one like a proper over a hundred meter hole, a proper par three. The one hole in one that I remember is that fucking cunt. Remember he skipped it over the water? Skimmed along the water then like went along the green and like for ages. That's fucking crazy. Did he mean to do that? Surely not. No, no, it was a full on miss hit. Crazy. Did you see it? What? The hole in one where he skipped it along the water. Sorry. You didn't see it. Fucking hell. Was that a hole in one? Or was that a second shot? The hole in one wasn't a birdie. I got another golf question from Dean Moore. Did you all watch mullet icon Cameron Smith win the open? No, I don't like watching golf much. Oh, I haven't, but I'm gonna watch the highlights. James has been raving about it. But he's like the new fucking good player. He's like really good. Sorry. Anyway, next question is from demon badger. That's crazy. Where the hell did the Ben thing come from? Oh, this is people talking about our latest website video. Well, not the latest. You're listening. It's the one before it. Where it came from the disco dancing song and Michael brought it back on their website video a lot. Yeah, it just, I don't know. I was possessed that day. I had to say my name is Ben. So and Ben is, Ben is no one. Ben is. I think like the jingle goes, I simply must, I simply will, I will again. My name is Ben and Michael's taken that. My name is Ben and just turned it into another, its own song. It's like a solo from that. Yeah. Next one is from Jack Peterson. Will we see more content with the uncut crew? Oh, yeah, whenever we can. They like to, you know, party a lot. And we don't party as much anymore. We could try the, let's do the arrow again. Yeah, we did a video. It's, I don't know if it's out now, where it's called a bow and arrow roulette where we shoot the arrows in the air. And we filmed it with Jackson and Lockie. And it's all right, but you just need more people because it's so hard to hit someone. Yeah, we got close. Like that literally, I reckon five centimetres from Michael's foot. It's slammed into the ground. It would have gone through it. It's crazy. You like that game when we went camping? Hopefully not. Maybe it won't. It was all right. It got more, you know, anxiety went worse. But we're going to top it with this idea. We're going to get like, shoot my car. No. The reason why I shot your car is I knew it would be fixable. We were like a hundred metres away. I'll just shoot over it. I'm like, but what if you don't shoot over it? Yeah, I didn't know. But you did it. You got over it. Oh, wow, sweet. Bob and I were shooting a Matt's car when we went camping last week. Did we talk about camping? Oh, yeah. Yeah, we went camping. Holy fuck, we didn't. We should have talked about this during shooting. We'll end questions and we'll have a quick camping. Anyway, we're going to up it brown by putting deodorant cans on the ground. Hundreds of them. So if it hits a deodorant can, it explodes up. Someone gets hit by that. I understand, baby. It'd be a carpet of deodorant cans. That's exciting to me. Is that exciting to you? Imagine if like, if they were so close to each other, one blows up, that blows up 10 and that blows up 100. And then it's all just one big floor explosion. Dude, there is so much science there. That is so much. Dude, we've got to film that. That's that's I can see it in my mind. Fuck. Do you understand it? I can see it in my fucking mind. I know you can see it. I ain't going to have it. It is worm's arm again. Oh, my God. It's real life worm's arm again. We should recreate that. We should shoot it at each other. So I have a base. You have a base. Worms Armageddon Forts. I'll get you. Marty vs. Michael with arrows and he's some things that can explode if you hit him with arrows near you. Remember the names of the worms? I just remember the little signs. No, what were they? Oh, no. Good bye. Didn't we name our worms? Yeah, we did. I forget. They're long gone. Fuck. That was some of the best days ever. Staying up late and playing worms Armageddon 2. Did you get number six in the world? Number nine, which is the same thing. It's just upside down six. But we were so good, everyone. Just so you know, we were top 10 in the world. And just so you know, like there's all the top, like 500 worms plays in the world. They play like five, six hours a day. So if you miss a day, you're out of the rankings. Gone. Can't. So you need to play. And it's like it was like a job. Yeah, we put even with like full time tennis coaching jobs, which is, I don't know, 30 hours a week. We still put a good, what, 30 hours a week in. Oh, at least at least half our day. Worming it up and drinking soft drink. Next question. Next question is from good times. Harvey is asked, Marty, last season, you mentioned writing a book. How is the book coming on? Are you writing anything yet? I met up with a. Publis publisher, whatever they call. And yeah, the things I want to write about, I might not be able to write about yet. But one day, don't even think about it. It'll be like it's probably still like five years away. Next question is from D Koda. Marty, have you ever thought about the fact that when you and Mon have kids, Michael will be their uncle? Yeah. He's really asked his uncle. About you're not allowed within 50 meters. You can wave from a distance. Shut up. And the final question. Is from Ringworm D 001. Question for Bezos. What is the worst reaction you have gotten for pissing on someone in a bed or a person's bed? Yeah. The worst reaction. What about that story when you fucking pissed and then the family underneath you was like, can you please stop? Oh, is that the worst? That's something you look back and go, I fucking, is it bad? I don't know. That hurt to do. I remember the walkie-shame in the morning. You're pissing, you're pissing. Like, and now you're watching it. So me and Henry come back to our, like, hostel that we're staying. It's not even a hostel, it's a family's house because it's on an island, a really remote island. Co-wrong. And the family is downstairs below us and me and Henry come back super drunk. And I just tell Henry, dude, I'm pissing. I'm pissing and I'm just sort of pissing off the bed. Goes through the cracks of this bamboo little, like, makeshift little house. And I hear this faint voice going, can you stop pissing? And I was like, oh, my God. I fucking just pissed on this family. And I felt, I instantly, you know, when you freeze from fear, I just freeze, stop, piss. And like, I guess a bit more piss came out that I freeze and then plant. Then stop pissing and then just laid like that, frozen for like 45 minutes. What did Henry do? Henry just was like pissing himself quietly because he could not comprehend what was going on. And his laughter made me feel better eventually. So I was like, okay, this is okay. And in the morning I come down, they all pointed me, oh, you, you, you. I was like, oh, oh, I can say it. I'm pissing, I'm pissing, I'm pissing Henry, I'm pissing. And they would have been like, downstairs getting pissed on. What were they saying? You're, you just sit. Just pointing. You and then Henry's pissing himself laughing at me because they were all pointing at me. And then we just sort of laughed. And then like- Did the family have a laugh? We stayed there. We stayed there for another week. Oh, wow. But like, fuck, sorry. And he never pissed again. Yeah, sort of. It's hard to pick a one because like you pissed on your dad. I know this. It's, it's definitely, it's far too many. Pissed on a one night stand and the mother yelled at you or something. 33 year old male. So many girls where he's pissed and he's had to leave. Your poor, poor, like you've copped like a few piss on friends. Yeah. Everyone in this room has been pissed on. Even today. It's sort of like a skill. Yeah, I guess it. Well, I get DMs now and then from people like, dude, you being so proud of pissing has made me feel better about my pissing. Yeah, there's other people going to do it. There you go. Take that pie. Take that piece of pie. You doing that thing like on happy Gumball when the boy pisses himself and then he goes, it's cool to piss yourself and then he pisses himself. That's Billy Madison. It's cool to piss yourself. That's why he's pisses himself. If paying your parents is considered cool, they consider me Miles Davis. Sorry. Anyway, is that the question? That's it. We went camping though. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, camping. We forgot to talk about this in shit talk. You didn't piss yourself on camping trip. No. Yeah. Cause I stopped drinking at like 10. That's it. That's how you get around it. Yeah. We just skipped out. We went to our mate Mono, our mate Mono's had his birthday and he's got a bit of land. And so we were fucking went to Coralman and camped on his land for the night and fucking fun night. So many fans out there. Fires are so good. Yeah. We just had a massive fire and we just got high as fucking talked a bunch of shit can't and played golf during the day. Oh, I gotta know something. So I slept in my car cause I wanted to test that out. Wasn't the worst, wasn't the best, but I forgot my blanket and I was freezing. At some point at like four in the morning I hear this rustling and panic. I think I did too. And I was like, yeah, you should have. Or me? And I'm thinking it was you trying to get into the mighty Michael van. And then that's right. The panic of this movement. I was like, there's like an animal in the campsite. I would have thought a fan. I thought the fans were gonna come and fuck cause I scared you open. Yeah. And I literally set up and I was like, I can't look at the windows cause they're all like fog. And I was like, but I could see at the back just friendly and I was like, there's fucking something out there. And I just see a little, your hair go past. I was like, it's Michael. Oh, wow. But it looked incredibly for like 10 minutes. God damn it. That was rough. But yeah, that was a very fun night. I forgot how fun camping is. Oh, that was terribly cold. I usually hate it. Marty forgets to have his, to bring a blanket also like has hardly any jumpers or warm clothes. It was a very cold night though. And I did not expect it to get that cold man. I had a spare blanket. Yeah, I know. Why didn't you give it to me? I don't know. James gave you one and I just gave up. No, Mono gave me a shit small sleeping bag that I just had to sacrifice my upper half or lower half of my body. Oh man. James and Mono did so well with their tents. Anyway, fucking that's questions for you now. Let's fucking, it's time for the PO box where we unbox all the shit that you guys send to us live on the podcast. We don't know what's in these. If you want to send us something, send the two PO box, 256 TAG and 4018 Queensland Australia and send us whatever you want. Send us weird shit. Our PO box has to be the weirdest fucking shit I've ever fucking seen. You fucking can't. We get sent piss, shit, teeth, fucking tampons. All right, that loser has no data sent to in. Oh no. I can't show this side. Yeah, well, yeah, just maybe open it off Klele. Yeah, see that. That's pretty dark. Oh my God. All right, so we have a guy that Matt hates and hates Matt. He's always... I don't hate him. I just laugh at his... I'm pretty sure he hates him. He always sends us letters. So we'll see what we got here. He writes some occasional rude symbols so we can't shot the camera. Oh, oh my God. What? Oh, that is good news because we literally just out to... He sent us... Oh my God. He sent us a thick... Two cents of oregano, just a herb. A juicy nug of oregano. Thank you so much. I'm so thrilled for I've even read this. We have no paper left over here at the Secret Society so we're using cardboard rippings. Enjoy this shit. That medical grade shit the other week was sent like a month and a half ago so that shit would have been dry as by the time you got... Got it. Australia Post cost the parcel lol. But enjoy this. Make Matt Brown have a cone. Oh. That one is specially formulated for the brown. The man, the myth, the legend, Secret Society. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. He sent us a butterwheat. Is that doughnut films? Oh, we've been sent skin. Is that doughnut films? Oh my God. Oh my God. It is, it's doughnut films. We got sand skin. He's so fucked Matt Brown. Look, it's doughnut films. I can see his little symbol on there. Oh my God, doughnut films. He's done it again. Fuck it strikes again. Oh, show us the skin. Hey, Marty and Michael. Michael, how are you doing? Fuck off, Matt Brown. You bald cunt. It is, I doughnut films once again, but this time with a very special present for the one and only Martin Sokolinski. This present is punishment for lying. Maybe it's about the gold bars or something. Oh my God, it's a bag of skin. Jesus. Look at the date, cunt, contents, skin. Oh my God, is it doughnut films? Somebody actually challenged us that doughnut, they thought doughnut films was me, but that's a proof right there. Doughnut films is real. When did I lie, doughnut films? Paul let it to Matt Brown. You have to smoke the skin and we smoke the weed. I ain't touching that. Come on, Brown Town. Dude, this is our first skin. Oh, for the bitch. This is our first skin that we've been sent. Let's make the mannequin begin at James's. Maybe you can be at the new set and we'll talk about it. And we'll put the skin on the face. Oh, I can love the peer boxes. I don't trust this guy at all. So I am very wary of his. This is a war letter to Matt Brown. War letter to Matt Brown, page one. Just never know what's in there. Oh, they're massive. Fuck reading all that. I'll be quick. Dear Matt Brown, you dumb. Something mother fucker. Let me first off by saying that when you called me a fucking loser on podcast season four, episode seven for drawing lines to understand what you read. I only put those lines in because when I had sex with your mother and sister, they kept on saying how you used to read like a fat ball bitch moving your fingers across to read. So you probably have a hard time reading with no lines like when your mother tried to give you birth to you. Fucking bald hippo. Wow. I have to cut some of that. Maybe cut the last word, please. Maybe cut the suicide bit kind of. You'll never get girls from you'll never get girls or men in your life because of how fat and bald you are. And Penrith pants are not even a shit. You fat. I can't say whatever looking at balls. Yeah. Finally. God, he says the F word like the other words. The F a word. Anyway. That's the first war letter from Donut films. No, from that. That's just the guy who hates you, right? Is that from Donut films? No, no, this is from the front. Yeah, that guy who's had an ongoing issue with you. Anyway, sick burn. You suck. Boom, roasted. Anyway, that's like huge. Those letters, but thank you for taking the time. Matt, we'll do a war letter two next week. Not even worth reading. Yeah, look, Matt, we'll read them. Just not right now. Making sure there's nothing in them. We'll do war letter two next week. You're a painter as a profession now because your hands are covered in paint. I know. One more letter. Let me just get this out of the way. I think this is from the same loser has no dad. Oh, fat brown. You're either cool or you're not. And he's not. There's definitely something in there to see that. That looks like hair, maybe. Yeah, it's definitely some sort of hair. And we get the weirdest shit set to us. Skin. Skin now. Dude, you've got the English skills of like a four year old. Not even worth my reading time. Hacking him on that. Oh, this one's a big piece of hair. Oh, it's pubes. Don't drop them. We've already dropped too many pubes. Yeah, I step on them every week. All right. Dear Matt Brown, you fat bald cunt. Go to the gym and lose some weight. You fat. Oh, dude, you can't say these words. Your mom gives the best BJs. Tell her I'll need another BJ. Oh, no, sorry. You said another word. You are a waste of sperm. And here's a gift from Matt Brown. And he's put his pubes out. You also put a sign of Germany. Oh, okay. All right. Well, thank you very much. Anyway. Pubes and skin in these PO box is great work. All right. Our final segment will be the prank call. And this week, Michael is going to call Domino's with a very large order. And unfortunately I am an abusive partner and I've been drinking a lot. And I'm not happy about things. But first of all, do I cancel the order at the end? Yeah, yeah. Do not make the order because then the waste resources on us. I reckon maybe you come in. I'll come in immediately. You order heaps of pizzas. You come in and make me cancel it. And I go, I'm so sorry, my partner. Yeah. I'll just talk with Dan when it's been going for a little bit. The belt is over there. I reckon you should grab that when you're walking around. Just start hitting the ground. Yeah. No, that's good. All right. Before we do this, quick fucking boom. I can't. Shit. Hello. Hello. Stupid sluts. Could I please place an order? Fuck you. I just want to order one for pickup, please. I should fucking drive you out of this house. By your asshole. Just one for pickup, please. What were you after? Yeah, what were you after? Look at me flicking my tongue at you, cunt. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Flicking my tongue at you, cunt. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Do I get a deal for like three pizzas and a garlic bread? Yes, big pizza and garlic bread and a drink. Can I make it? Fuck, I'm a man, seriously. It's like a meal deal. Fucking move. So it's actually saving money. Get me a cake! Yeah, yeah. What pizza would you like What pizza Can I get him meat lovers, please? Um, maybe a godfather Did you put the kids man? Yeah, Hawaiian pizza on the last one and uh, oh my god, can I get the godfather? Can I get the godfather as a thin and crispy the Hawaiian as a thick And could I get the the meat lovers as a medium base? Um, have you guys got coke Um, yeah, could I go with a coke if it's if actually pepsi Oh That really hurt sorry Come I'm sorry, I don't know if I can give my phone number to you Yeah, I'm fine. Yeah, everything's good. Um, I just I might just skip the pizzas No, no, I don't need that it's all good, but thank you. Sorry Someone worried about you. Oh, no, we're just playing a game of Humphrey be bare Yeah, sorry about that. What was the name to that one? Um, I might I have to I don't think I'm allowed to Really Okay I'm so so dark. Holy shit, dude That was like we went down to dark She's like, are you okay? Say pepperoni pizza if you're not okay. And I couldn't I couldn't do that to her Yeah, she thought you were being you were crying too much. It's too. Yeah, you went real like Oh, oh cry. Yeah. I wanted to see where she go She would think she was going along with the order like it was normal So I was like if I react and they did hurt those pinches by the way, so I had them right to say now Oh, this is come loose Every time just hold on to it. Just hold on it So now like at least we know that dominoes you guys are there to save lives. So good job well done dominoes Um, I had started to fucking oh, dude that like a few occasions. I was about to piss myself laugh Dude the kitchen if I make eye contact with you. I can't handle it Um, hopefully they don't can't like trace this number and say to the police that I'm being domestically violence No, I don't think they can be bothered to do that. Oh What the fuck was that? That's the chick. She's come to check on us. Dude. We've just heard footsteps on the roof Not even fucking with you. What is it boss? Did you hear that? What door would that be? You're freaking me out. What door would that be that just slammed? Is that the back door? All right, I'm fucking um Someone's here. No, no, no, no. Don't worry. There's three of us. We're fine. That's not real Dude, what was that sound? That's not real. That was so fucking loud. It's not real It's gone. It came from that side. Boss is definitely like something's going on out there. All right So, okay, some spirits decided to No, I think he's a person out there. It was a back door side door Anyway, anyway, we're the best. Don't forget it. We'll let you know what happens Right now next podcast. Hmm. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best comment like subscribe because we're the best I love you mom and dad. If I don't we're the best. I love it. I love you Everyone. I love you everyone. And I love you the most. Bye. I think I love you Dark ending You