 క్నింఠివాలిమచి. కోనిగ్లిలిటిసిమిందరాసందందకి, సందందపలాసధికిసిలిందటి. చకూనక్. ఇద్కిసినికికి. నివంపెస్ఉటికిల్బికికాతశతి. వరంపెమ్గ్వాయికిక్కల్దిపిటిిల్కికల్తిటనిటికనొటి. వర్యిటంహంరెపెసల్తా. మలలలారాకిదిట్నెకి. క and how kids are being raised. Please let's hear what you have to say, remember you can join the conversation centers and SMS or WhatsApp to 08180384663. You could also tweet to us at WeishuAfrica1 with the hashtag Weishu. So this is even more about how the girl was, so you can tell that girl was so upset that her device was taken from her and that was why she even attempted, and I've seen this happening a lot recently. You see three-year-old, I have friends who have kids who are toddlers and four or five, six as well. And I get it that you're looking for a means to distract your child. Sometimes the kids can be very overwhelmed and you just want to look for a way to just shoot her now. And next when you're playing Coco Melon, two hours, I don't subscribe to it. I've never understood it and I will never understand it. Yes, there are times when you have to play certain maybe little boys or you know, depend on the age of the child, play cartoons, make the child watch YouTube videos, educational videos is what I usually even subscribe most times. And I think it should even ration the time, right? So you know that you can only pick up your tablets between 6pm and 8pm and that's after you're done with your homework, you've had dinner and all of that. Maybe one hour, 30 minutes, so as all you have and after that straight to bed, submit the tablets and go straight to bed. But then when for every time you see the child as a distraction, you just simply want to pass a device on to the child for the child to... And that's why our code for today is the Internet is not a babysitter. You think that every time you need to keep the child busy or you need to store the child away, it is by giving the child something to watch or playing. Some people, I mean people that have smart TVs in their homes, they then play it on TV and the child just dead the entire time. And don't you even dare turn on that TV. It's that day you know that a two-year-old can throw tantrums that can bring a building down. So this is the angle of our conversation. Absolutely. You know I used to ask people around me or even myself sometimes like what makes... I mean what kind of intellect does a two-year-old or some month old baby have that makes them so focused on a device? Maybe TV or is it the pictures? I don't get it, but again like you rightly said it's hard for parents. I mean parenting again can be very overwhelming. Especially in a country like Nigeria you know it's very overwhelming and you just go like okay you know what I've had a long day, don't stress me. And then you give that device. So again for me it is this idea that beyond even listening to the child a child will probably raise a tantrum or even if they... Sometimes children will raise tantrum because they want your attention. Sometimes they decide they are deliberately nuts just because they want your attention and when you fail to give it so every time a child throws it it becomes a pattern and the child can process why I am not getting this thing if this is the response to my tantrum I mean if you don't give me the phone or the tablet tomorrow then there's a problem. I don't know maybe it is because it was so overworked was so tired we failed to see that all maybe we are just being woke I don't know because I mean I think kids throw tantrums in supermarkets in public places in churches and it's so embarrassing it's so embarrassing and I'm very interested in knowing what can be done to really curb this because personally I think the internet as good as it is it's also dangerous even to adults who can function properly it's dangerous if you don't know what you are doing I mean TV social media whatever it's dangerous what are your thoughts you see it's pros and cons basically but if I also want to just chip in a thing or two about that video we played earlier from a professional point of view the teacher was wrong in every aspect but I also want to draw our attention to the fact that the child or the teenager was on duty is for us we need to establish that fact and it was evident that the teacher had practically had it up to here with the young lady she must have tried different ways to interact with her but it just wasn't working so she had to take it away from her now is it about the phone no I think something must have it must have been building up before it got to that stage where it escalated to the extent that they had to exchange blows it comes back to the point of what is a student's right as a student you have the right to do certain things such as freedom of expression freedom of advocacy freedom of to interact basically respectfully but we don't have the right or freedom to harass anyone in committing a teacher I would say that the teacher yes was wrong the student was also wrong in every aspect no adult would love to be insulted by a child not to the extent that the child actually physically attacked her she slapped her first before the teacher actually decided to you know pounce on her now coming down to what internet is all about is it is internet a blessing or a curse for us children basically it has its advantages and it has disadvantages like Deona stated she said that we needed to look at how it is affecting the children there should be certain times of the day that the children should have access to the internet because we as adults we have challenges even dealing with the internet basically so when we come back to the children how will they be able to handle it if it has its pros and cons like I said earlier I stated also that in terms of it having its pros and cons it is what the children are exposed to and what they are using it for that is what will affect the morale of that child now if it's for the stage of the child it's another thing we're looking at the ages of the child from zero to anyway I don't want to go into all that but the key thing is for us to look at the age of the child and the timeline for the child to have access to the internet is also quite crucial and that will lead me to family time family time is so essential how are we interacting with our children how are we interacting with the teenagers how are we interacting with ourselves as a family because family again and the moment we fail to have that notion that is when we now decide to pass that responsibility to the internet or to technological devices or basically technical devices so we have this rule or this aspect of us not owning up to our responsibilities and giving our responsibilities to our children to handle now do we also observe what they are exposed to when they are on the internet that's another thing because sometimes you might give the child your assignment is supposed to be on ABC123 and the child now digresses to another page do you come back to see what the child is doing do you have access to the child's device that is chatting with there has been instances where a child of about 12 different instances basically of a child about 12 who actually has have been interacting with somebody who is much older or an adult and the man actually wanted to have some sort of sexual relationship with the children undermining the fact that the child or whoever they are are teenagers parents haven't been on top of their game to actually observe what the child is doing online talking who they are talking to online having access to control whatever they are doing online so yes where the parents are negligent the family is negligent yes, morals are affected with the internet's usage thank you so much that's very well said, I agree with you and I like the fact that you actually stated the pros and the cons the truth is really actually we are in a digital age now so you cannot keep a child nowadays away from technology it's impossible at some point we need to use the internet to do some form of homework some form of research and things like that but at the end of the day I keep saying parental control very very important I don't joke with it just yesterday my daughter something happened I think she was having a conversation with some of her friends they have some sort of group and I am on that group and I told her if you would like remove me remove me from the group so I don't think they are even aware now that I see the conversations that they have and the kind of things that they talk about and then this afternoon she forwarded a message to me 7 years old who got lost and then something something something she was killed and when she came back to life they said if you don't forward this message to 10 people your mom is going to die in 365 days I screamed when I saw that and I called out that excuse me where did this come from I said I was wondering I'm like no I think now we need to start talking about digital literacy and how to behave on the internet because this is unacceptable so imagine how many other people that message has been forwarded 2 that's why it's very important for you it's like I remember when we were growing up they were setting channels that we couldn't watch in our house parental lips if my mother does not come and imputes the pain you don't even know the pain you cannot watch that station so I think that's where the responsibility of the adults in the lives of the children comes in now you need to make sure that you are aware of what the children are up to per time check there's also where I'm aware of I think Google or Microsoft there's something you can do where you can time out so if you're giving the child 2 hours after 2 hours you lock the child out the child has to call you to ask for access and if at that time you feel like you know what you shouldn't be on the internet at this time you don't allow the child access whatever it is they want to access and that big problem I have which is even affecting my youngest brother now is socialization and my youngest brother is I think he's 14 or 15 now he can be in his space and not speak to you I kid you not and not have a conversation with you 6 hours straight as long as he has a device with him and the means to take that device away from him he struggles to have a conversation you literally have to push and I told my mum I said it is this phone thing so now they have a problem because this is the phone now from time to time and I caused it that's the reason why we have to have family time that family time is like family circle everybody comes together in my family we could have what was your day like basically at the end of the day what was your day like we talk about this everybody sits at the table or even in the sitting room we talk about different things or the highlights of our day that way we are able to interact we are able to connect as a family we can even sit down and tell a joke or two it's so important it enhances the bond and the family and social skills at the end of the day for the teenagers as well as the parents to be able to relate to other teenagers or other children as well because you cannot build give the child such a device and you expect the child to be an Einstein there's no way it will work you just have to help that child to enhance communication skills very true I'm sure Gloria is itching to say something but I would love us to go on a very short break and when we come back we will open our phone lines and continue our conversation see you shortly if you just tuned in to our Ladies Night Out and were discussing the topic is technology influencing morals and how kids are being raised let's hear what you have to say remember you can join the conversation as an sms on whatsapp to 08180384663 you could also tweet to us at weishawafrica one with the hashtag weishaw our phone line is now open as well please call us on 07025007749 Gloria let's hear your thoughts on this I mean you've all said it already definitely technology has either positive or negative impact on morals and how kids are being raised but I would like us let's shift the direction of the conversation a little bit for a long time we've been focusing on how do we monitor kids and their usage of technology how do we control and how do we put in those restrictions why don't we move this conversation around a little bit I mean there are kids that all of this has been done they have parents monitoring everything they are doing but still they still go out of their way to lose some certain moral values despite the amount of monitoring and discipline being instilled in them so the question is as adults how far is technology even influencing us I mean we have in this century now where we as adults we find it difficult even handling technology some people are so addicted to technology so so addicted they cannot leave their phones for five minutes you know when they go out on family dinner during the weekends they all stay on your phones so as adults how are you discipline because kids they are watching so if you tell a kid don't do this don't do this don't do this and you yourself you're doing it so definitely they will be forced or somehow they are picking up some of those character those habits I watched a video about a mother apparently during her child's first birthday putting on a full makeup putting on a full makeup gale and so many things like people are screaming and she did a video I'm pretty sure she learns she's been watching makeup videos and she's looking for way to apply this makeup videos and definitely she saw her kid as a good example to use but was this proper no so we as adults we need to now shift the conversation to ourselves what responsibility do we have it goes beyond just monitoring the kids it goes to the point where we also have to use ourselves set ourselves as example keep our time you know there are some people where maybe after working us during family time maybe for adventure they just go through their males and perhaps see a male which is annoying and it changes their whole mood and maybe they get all different in terms of their mood and everything and they are watching so how is technology in fact in affecting our behaviors as adults because this under points where kids are watching us and no matter how much discipline you instill in them if you are not leaving that example you're trying to preach to them it's how is it going to work so let's shift the direction of conversation a little bit to also take some responsibility how are we being disciplined how is technology affecting our morals we are watching videos and we don't even know these videos we watch other things we allow technology we expose that sort of information we are exposed to through technology how is affecting us as adults and how are kids watching us are picking up these habits and character thank you very much I like how you have brought that to our NS as well it's also very important to leave an exemplary lifestyle because the truth is that if as an adult you have children around maybe your nieces, your nephews, your children and every time they see you these children will even tell you but you are always on your phone too at that point what do you say so that's actually very correct thank you so much remember our phone line is now open please call us on 070-25077 phone line we can't wait to hear from you do you want to say something I was going to say that I think for me the most profound thing technology mostly social media the use of social media has stunted our communications we have forgotten what it means to have human relations we can't sit down and hold conversations it's a problem you're doing five minutes conversation and you're like don't talk too much now you want to go back to your phone looking at things you probably have no business looking at and then again when we don't communicate with each other there's a lot of strife there's a lot of regret we don't have that cohesiveness and that's a problem of course family to nation building to everything we can't raise kids properly because if you can't even find the right words to communicate with your children and the only truth is when kids ask about why it is not because we don't know sometimes it is because we lack the words to communicate or we lack the we feel uncomfortable having conversations and you know these kids are way too smart and they are very bold they won't just when we were growing up your parents tell you you won't question these kids will question and they will say why I don't understand what you are trying to say so we need to understand that it is our responsibility like glory said that we must up our communication game that's very very key very key okay we have a caller Friday from Binin hi Friday good evening hello Friday we can hear you good evening okay I think we lost that caller please do call us back and don't forget to turn down the volume of your devices so that it doesn't clash with the feedback from the studio yeah so you will say it's it's quite and it's unfortunately because of the our world right now the truth is you can't avoid these things you cannot avoid these things I always say so from doing assignment even the things that recreational activities encodes now so even the kids when they go out as well the kind of activities that they are involved they are made to participate in yes there are things that would actually encourage them to be on the internet or you know be on their devices and all of that so now my question is how do we where do we begin to draw the line and how do we even start to draw this line how do we control it how can we help the children how can we talk about parental control trying to monitor but there's really so much there's really so much you can do with monitoring but then what else can we do how else can we curb this well I think it goes back to what Isis said that really we must be intentional about even you know getting down to the point of speaking to kids to let them understand the pros and the cons I mean technology for all it's worth is fantastic it has brought about some major advancement in the world but again we've seen how it has become a toxic place you know we've seen how it brings about some form of pressure even on adults not to talk of kids the need to be perfect the need to be a certain way because you think that's the standard you know so again it comes right down to talking you know we just need to sit down and get to the you know to the nitty-gritty and say okay listen I may not be as techy savvy or it's not like I don't want you to do what your friends are doing but you need to also understand the risk that comes with it you need to understand your responsibility being an internet user because we I mean as an internet user you also have a responsibility how to talk, how to behave, the culture everything online you have to understand we need to teach kids how to be cyber safe even as we ourselves as adults you know we take on these lessons and yeah I think that works for me if I may step in you also made the salient point in terms of us being careful as individuals on the internet another point we also need to look at is our role in the society our role as individuals in our home our roles the roles we play because we play different roles we play the role of sister we play the role of father different roles and at the same time we have to play roles of parents okay or teachers in this context is the role we play is the role we are playing is it giving the right vibe to the young one or the child that is close to us is like Glory stated earlier is it giving the right vibe to that child is the child actually learning something that is positive or is learning something negative from us if we have our way if we can do something much better than what we have in the society today we should also look at the environment is the environment conducive enough for us to actually say okay today is going to be family time we are going to sit down and talk about ABC and not thinking about oh and Amonilla is about to bust into the house something or is pounding around or doing something so the environment we also find ourselves also plays a huge role in how we engage the child if we are engaging the child in technology to to be to be invested emotionally or psychologically in technology then we should have the impetus to actually guide the child right in the environment to do what is right to act accordingly and we as examples do the right thing for them okay Glory I will cite an example again for the video above all of this another thing which I believe parents should also look at is how to teach the children about emotional intelligence so I'm suggesting that maybe in the sort of environment that child grew up in it's an environment where she gets everything she wants and she whenever she throws tantrum she can easily get her way so she's used to that technique I've been watching series of videos on emotional intelligence and just how to teach a child to master emotional intelligence how to know when to how to set boundaries how to respect boundaries and how to know when to when someone says no or an elder says no you respect that so if we can also invite that included in everything we're doing for example then we're also teaching our kids emotional intelligence how to respect others how to know when to draw the line to say okay no matter what I do I'm not getting this and that's fine it's okay not to have it I don't need to act up or act out just to have my way so all of those sort of education is also very important in building our moral use in the face of these technological age another perspective we can also look at is another perspective is peer pressure peer pressure plays another role in terms of who these children are actually interacting with children more tech savvy are they more interested in the technological devices instead of having to have a one on one with their peers if they have the peer they have friends that are not interested in things like these then they would definitely definitely rather interact physically with your peers but if they have friends that would want you know oh you're not trendy you don't know what's up you don't know what is going on if you don't decide to you don't know how to use the pf4 oh my gosh you must be from the dark ages something like that and you find the child actually going into it and probably that child who tends to go into it might now get addicted addicted to it the moment the child gets addicted to it then it starts to go down here so peer pressure plays a huge role especially the age again the age is all about the age if it's a teenager peer pressure plays a huge role if it's let's say from zero to five then the parents have a huge role a huge responsibility in terms of how the children are interacting with their technological devices it's very funny because you know that these children are exposed to all sorts of things right so there's this show I think the girl is what maybe eleven they're about twelve and then she has a crush and then she's developing the crush and going ahead to shoot her shot and things like that children watch these things and in their head they're beginning to form ideas in their head which is why I'm still saying it it's very important to watch what it is that they're doing absolutely also there are different platforms now I hear that they play games where someone else can be in whatever country and then you can play games with the person with the person as well or there's even a game you as a parent you just feel okay I've played this game maybe the first or second but by the time the child gets to maybe the seventh level it's totally horrific like cyber bullying it's just see to be in this game as parents you need to even understand what the game is first that's the only way because it keeps evolving every day you need to literally stay one step ahead and yes kids would always find a way because they're curious they go to school, they have friends but again you also have to just do your own part and just hope for the best really okay I think we have a comment okay so this is Austin from Delta my take is that there's a total breakdown of morals in the society even the church most worshippers on the pretext of using the bible for scripture searching are glued to whatsapp and other social network platforms many accidents occurred many users of cell phones moderation is key on that disturbing brawl on that disturbing brawl the teacher shouldn't have engaged her in a fight despite the slap there are many ways to kill a rat for the girl to have the f1 tree to challenge the teacher was enough red flag for the teacher to know that the girl is not only wayward that has no good of bringing go and profile her it's either she is suffering from psychological torture from broken home or the parents are absentee parents thank you very much Austin I mean we really don't know what happened in that video it must have been a build because I don't think the child have just been riled up like that sometimes and this is from experience you have you meet all sorts of children and then there are some children that are just peculiarly stubborn and you know that this one and as a human being you have to be emotional intelligence but at the same time you are human you get to a breaking point where that child must have pushed you and this is not Nigeria in see Nigeria we are very morally what's it called we have moral values you don't want to see what is going on in other countries it's crazy it's crazy and you don't you can only do so much there's anything you can't say to the child so we don't know the true story of what must have happened how long they had been having this kind of issues because I remember the girl kept saying you are holding onto my device you are not holding onto other people's device so there is something that must have happened but despite that I agree that she shouldn't have gotten that far and she shouldn't have done that to the child anyway okay I think we have a caller hello good evening hello good evening good evening fine thank you I don't want to add to all of you in discussing I agree with all the points you have all made but I just would like to add some point that we should not give up parents we shouldn't give up the fight my kids I have a teenager but I refuse to allow them to have a device to themselves because we feel like if our kids are not part of it then they are not cool or they are not clued up but there's an imminent danger in all of these devices than being online and being unsupervised so they don't have to have a cellphone before age 16 or 18 and it's 25 we feel like as parents if we don't allow our kids to have it then we're maybe making things worse but I think we should stand our ground and insist on the kids not having these devices before age 18 I would say I completely agree with you thank you very much Essay we fought this battle I wasn't going to allow my daughter to have a phone because I don't understand it but then you might have a scholar you might have to speak to her at some point so that if there's anything she can easily send you a message and I'm just like okay because left to me maybe until she gets into senior secondary because the truth is if you need to maybe research or something you have there's a computer for you to check whatever you want to check on the internet so I agree with what Essay is saying there should be an age where you say okay the one that beats means you see people driving and then child is at the back child is at the back and child is with that taban that thing annoys my soul and my spirit because I feel you've you've literally made the internet to babysitter at that point you don't know now for babies let me not say babies from infanthood to being a toddler so let me say from 0 to 3 years old for example the more you expose these children to these things the lesser they are able to relate with you and yes from the relations sometimes they won't start behaving like what they are watching and that's why if you go to some schools actually schools that are following proper maybe like the EYFS curriculum or the standard British curriculum they don't have televisions in the rooms they don't allow the children you know watch the screen time they reduce screen time so much that maybe when you go home you allow maybe one hour screen time but in the school premises it's not allowed is it all the way you're playing old man though play it on the what's it called the stereo let the children hear it they would even listen to you better and all of that anyway I think it's been a great conversation it has been tonight I've enjoyed this conversation I hope that all that we've said has been taken note of and parents will begin to do better adults will also begin to take responsibility of their of technology as well so before we go do ensure you follow us on Instagram at WeShow Africa you can interact with us father drop a comment and most importantly follow all our social media engagements I remember to like share comment and invite your friends and family to watch us and follow us if you missed today's quotes here it is again the internet is not a babysitter see you tomorrow at 8 PM as we bring another great conversation to your screen