 Let me explain our student debt forgiveness program to all of you you the good people who are having your loans forgiven You people who paid your loans or never got them in the first place and then you people who never even went to college We're forgiving up to 20 grand of your student loan debt. Yeah, because we're awesome. Do not forget about us in November Okay, I know you're mad you struggled you worked hard You missed a lot of opportunities to get ahead in your professional career all to pay down your debt Responsibly which proves that you can do it again for them Remember this is targeted relief for working-class people like a married couple making two hundred forty grand a year You don't want them to suffer do you? Let me get back to you later. Are you willing to donate just seven dollars to help us win in November? We got to keep making progress who knows maybe cancel more debt down the road, huh? No, we can't stop subsidizing student loans Harvard's endowment is only fifty billion dollars You don't want Harvard to suffer. Do you this really isn't about you? Okay, so just chip into your part But stay out of the way. Hey, can you believe the cancel Samantha be like what what ratings problem everyone? I know watches that show the important thing is that we mitigate the damage that we cause Without ever addressing the root cause of the problem You don't want Congress to suffer. Do you just put the money in the bucket and leave no one wants to hear from you You just want people to suffer. That's all we have to say never engage with any substantive argument or numbers or math of any kind It's only gonna cost about three hundred billion or so the first year we think with inflation That's gonna feel like a lot less if you guys were smart you would have taken a loan You couldn't afford to go to college, but you didn't so pony up. It's about two grand per taxpayer Put it in the bucket and leave. Do you guys want to get smoothies or something later? We need more people in debt so they'll vote us into office to get them out of debt I thought you people went to college. Oh, please. You couldn't even spell moral hazard. Cool. Awesome. All right, November of course, it's constitutional because of 9-eleven obviously Idiot. Oh, I didn't see you there. You know you kids are the future That's why we're doing our best to make sure none of your actions will ever have real consequences Except maybe voting Well, you know, we're working on that too