 Proudly we hail. Hello from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. This is C.P. McGregor speaking and welcoming you to Proudly We Hail, a program of your war department. Through the courtesy of the Hollywood Coordinating Committee, we are happy to present as our star Mr. Arthur Dagwood Lake in The Magnificent Wolf, written by Joe Scalpone with music by Eddie Skravanik. Clarence Whipple was just like a wheel bell, being pushed around, at home by his wife, Elmyra, at the King Electrical Manufacturing Company by his boss, Mr. Dag. Mr. Dag loved his shouted clients, and this particular afternoon, Mr. Dag was in very good voice. Yes, very good indeed. Whipple! Whipple, get in here! Whipple, you've done it again. Well, I... Look at these armatures for the Carter job. What's wrong? Look, man, look at the oil spigot on that bearing. Why, it looks fine to me, Mr. Dag. It does, huh? Whipple, you've marked this oil bearing with a three. I did? And any idiot knows this is a two-drop bearing. Oh, my. I promised Carter that we'd save their money on the maintenance of this equipment. And now look what you've done. Yeah, but, Mr. Dag, one little drop... Over a year's time, those little drops of oil add up. Besides, Joshua Carter is a stickler for efficiency. Why, they say he even takes worn-out tight-rider ribbons, bleaches them, dyes them, and sells them as hair ribbons. Oh, my, my, my. I have made a very terrible mistake. Can't we change the numbers, Mr. Dag? I'm now on that order, and I was hoping to get all his business. Now listen, Whipple. Yes, Mr. Dag? If you'd cut out all that experimenting, if you wouldn't walk around here in a dream all day, these mistakes wouldn't happen. Yes, sir. And now I'm going to give you one more chance. But if this ever happens again... And be careful, Mr. Dag, remember your blood pressure. I'll unwrap one of these armatures and wind it right around your neck. Oh, thank you, Mr. Dag. Now get out of here. Clarence, you don't have any gumption at all. Mr. Dag wasn't in the mood to give anybody a raise today. No. Although he did raise the roof. Clarence, you're just not going to get any place if you don't have some get-up-and-go about you. Yes, sweetie. Is dinner ready? No, dinner isn't ready. Then I'll have time to get a few things done in my workshop. Oh, well, first off, I want you to take out the ashes. Yes, oh, ma'am. And then wash out your thermos jug in your lunchbox. You forgot yesterday. Yes, dear. And then go into the bedroom. You left the shoot-tree out of one of your shoes this morning. Ah. And I put it right on the bed so you wouldn't forget again. All right, sweetie. Now quit worrying, dear. Come here and give me a little kiss, huh? Oh, Clarence. Clarence, what about that new suit of clothes you were going to order? I was down at the store today. It's a beauty. Oh, did you have them pad the shoulders like I told you? You're so thin. Oh, sure I did. Like, sweetie, you won't even know me now. I look just like Clark Gable. Clark Gable? Ah. Well, now don't forget your thermos jug, warm water and cold. Yes, dear. Well, I'll hurry along because I want to get in some work before dinner. What is that gadget you're working on now? Oh, that. Well, you see, dear, it's a supersonic device with tremendous possibilities that depend on the atomic radiation of sunspots. Oh, never mind, never mind. I can understand all that technical language. Now hurry up. We'll be ready soon. Was it tough day to day, pal? Three drop bearing should have been two drop bearing. Gee, Mr. Dig can shout. He'd make a good umpire. Oh, well, if I could only get to this work, let's see the modulator, the antenna, the dry cells, if I could only hear that sound. Huh? Oh, my. Hey, pal. Pal, you hear that? I think I have it. This may be it. The sunspots are in the right position. My supersonic thought instigator. Oh, boy, now the real test. Let's see if it works. Come here, pal. Now look, pal, I want you to meow. Meow like a cat. Oh, hey, it works. And it fits right into my pocket. Oh, boy, oh, boy, my supersonic thought instigator works. And it will continue to work as long as the sunspots don't change. Oh, boy, now, now, now, don't you realize what this means, pal? Don't you realize? Meow. Huh? Oh, I'm sorry, pal. Well, look, you can be a doggie. Woof, woof, woof. And now, my darling Elmira, I want to talk to you. I want to talk to you through this supersonic thought instigator department. Elmira, your husband is now Clark Gable and Humphrey Bogart combined. Didn't you know? Elmira, Elmira. I had a sudden urge to be with you. Come here, woman. Oh, Clark. Come here. Oh, Clark. We pause briefly from our story, the magnificent wolf starring Arthur Dagwood Lake to bring you an important message from your war department. Veterans, did you know that you may be able to re-enlist in the Army at a grade higher than private, all the way up to Staff Sergeant? Former members of any of the services, Army, Navy, Marines, or Coast Guard, who have served six months and one of the needed occupational specialties are eligible to re-enlist with stripes on their sleeves. And don't forget, higher pay goes with that higher rank, too. The base pay of a corporal is $90 in addition to free food, clothing, lodging, medical, and dental care. This is equal to a civilian salary of over $50 a week. Add to this, dependency allowances, overseas and longevity pay, and you're really approaching the upper income brackets. You pay no income tax either. Do the wages of the job you hold now compare with this? The Army has 40,000 of these high-paying jobs open each month for competent young men who can qualify. Check today with your local Army recruiting station. They'll tell you if your old MOS number entitles you to re-enlist in the non-commissioned ranks. Act two of the magnificent wolf starring Arthur Dagwood Lake as Clarence Whipple. Clarence is on top of the world with a supersonic thon instigator, a marvelous little mechanism which is the power to put his thoughts and desires into the minds of those around him. Clarence is a little apprehensive, though, for the sunspots may change at any moment, with the ringing of the tiny warning bell making the machine powerless. Naturally, he's very anxious to put a few thoughts into Mr. Dick's mind before that happens. Oh, are you busy, Mr. Dick? Yes, I am. What's the idea of breaking into my office without knocking? Why, Mr. Dick, I'm surprised at you. You're never too busy to see me, now, are you? Well, no. No, come to think of it. No. No, I'm not. Sit down, Whipple. Sit down. Now, what can I do for you? Mr. Dick, I want a raise. You want a what? Why, you're out of your mind. Oh, am I? Why, Mr. Dick, you've been thinking of giving me a raise, haven't you? Why, yes, matter of fact, I have. Three or four thousand. I had it right on the tip of my tongue. Matter of fact, Clarence, my boy, here, take over my desk. I'm getting old. Yeah, well, let's not carry this too far, Mr. Dick. Oh, gee, Clarence. Of course I could be your salesman. There you go again. I wanted to surprise you. Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Dick. Oh, excuse me a minute, my boy. Hello? Mr. Dick here. He is? Yes, said he is. All right, well, send him in, send him in. Oh, this is bad. Joshua Carter's here about those generators you've botched up so bad. The what, Mr. Dick? I mean that mistake which could happen to anyone. Yeah, well, that's better. Now, don't you worry, Mr. Dick. Let your worries rest on the shoulders of your new sales manager. Why, sure. You think you can handle him? I think so. Huh? Oh, dear. Oh, my. What was that? I thought I heard a bell. Yes, you did. There's some spots of change. I mean, you didn't. There wasn't anything at all, Mr. Dick. Say, are you nuts? Oh, yes. No, no, no, really. Yeah, well, listen. If you don't want to handle Joshua Carter, he's tough. And you're new on the job of sales manager. Say, how did that happen anyway? Oh, I'll handle, Mr. Carter. I mean... Gentlemen? Well, well, Mr. Carter. So glad you could come over. This is my new sales manager, Clarence Whipple. You like it? Yes, it is. Sit down, won't you? Sit down when it isn't necessary. Creates unnecessary wear in the fabric of the trousers. Waste. Well, yes, of course. But when you're not sitting, you're standing on two. How about the shoes? Oh, excuse me. Shoe leather per square inch, per degree of fiction, wear is much cheaper. Oh, yes, sure, sure. I found this paper clip on the floor out there. Dick? You ought to watch that. Oh, yes, of course, of course. I notify my office manager. Now Whipple, you're interested in my next order, aren't you? Why, yes, yes, of course. And who was responsible for my last? I guess I was, Mr. Carter. I want to talk to you about that. As you know, I believe in economy. Oh, yes, Mr. Carter. My latest innovation, I have all my employees wearing rubber soles and heels. Safety factors apparent. But more important, I scrape the floor once a year, process the rubber dust, and have it made into washers for our plumbing repairs. I think this is an innovation. Yes. Now, about those armatures with the three-drop spikens. They worked out excellently. What? Your idea, I believe, Mr. Whipple. In a way, yes. Well, you see, my oil cans are strange. Two drops are difficult to execute without spillage. Three drops much easier. Additionally, I find the bearings wear further on three drops in two, therefore allowing each man at work, as I have calculated it, 37 minutes, 10 seconds more time machine each year. I congratulate you. And you get my next order. Well, thank you, Mr. Carter. Yes. Dick, save those cigar ashes of yours. Excellent wintertime coverage for your rose bushes. Good day, gentlemen. Yes, goodbye. Clarence, my boy, my boy. Please, Mr. Dick, let's not get overly sentimental. Excuse me. Hello. Hello, Clark. Clark? Oh, no, this is Clarence. Oh, no, this is Clark Gable. Huh? Oh, yes, oh, I forgot. Why, yes, dear. I'll be along shortly. I have to stop at my tailor to pick up my new suit. Oh, Clark? Yes. Don't put this. Ha, ha, ha. This is C.P. McGregor speaking. I hope you've enjoyed our proudly-behaved story starring Arthur Dagwood Lake. Before leaving you, here's an important message from your war department. Housewives, can you carry in one hand enough food for a meal for a family of four? If it's dehydrated food, you can. The Regular Army is carrying on a program of research in preparation of dehydrated fruits, vegetables, and other foods. Army scientists are doing this work in cooperation with colleges and universities, commercial marketers, and research foundations all over the country. They're meeting the problems of maintaining the stability, flavor, texture, and nutritional value of such foods. In many other fields, your new Regular Army is doing extensive scientific research. Army engineers have already started a program of flood control and river and harbor improvement. Air Force technicians are using improved methods of mapping. In medicine, army research is making daily contributions to the improvement of the health and welfare of mankind. Confident young men of top physical condition are eligible for a career in this work. Each month, 40,000 good jobs are open to high-type men between 17 and 34. Those who qualify for an Army enlistment are embarking on a career of personal development and scientific progress. A Regular Army soldier receives high pay. A private starts at $75 a month in addition to free food, clothing, lodging, medical, and dental care. To an ambitious young man, opportunities for advancement are good. But after 20 years' service, he is eligible for a time of 1.5 pay, which for a first-year Master Sergeant amounts to $107.25 monthly or $185.63 after 30 years' service. Each month, the new Regular Army has 40,000 careers to offer capable young men. Ask at your nearest recruiting station about your eligibility for one of these. Thank you, Arthur Lake, for appearing on our show. Proudly, we hail will come to you again next week. Listen in.