 This is why narcissists are so crazy. Narcissists are mad. They engage in wild and aggressive behavior. They're not sensible or logical. They're unpredictable and non-conforming. To where they don't seem to care about anything and clearly there could only be one logical explanation for that which is that at some point in their childhood they did care about something, but they were told that it was wrong. Or it didn't have a favorable result. Maybe they were abused or neglected. So from that point on they learned that there's no use in caring about anything. There's no incentive for them to do good. Love is a weakness. Love is for fools. Because they tried that already and it never got them what they wanted. So now they're more motivated to engage in things that are bad and wrong. Whatever gets them ahead. Whatever gives them the upper hand. Because they've learned that doing the right thing doesn't work. If it had worked for them in the past. They would have continued on that path. So at some point of course we have to look at their parents. Their upbringing and their environment. We could even blame society as a whole as well. Because if someone is on the right path in life and they're doing the right thing then yes they are deserving. They do deserve love and happiness. They do deserve good things in their life, but then we also have to consider the fact that many of us had a rough childhood. Many of us experienced abuse and neglect and yet we didn't become narcissists. We continue to take other people's feelings and needs into consideration and many of us even became empaths. Which proves that the abuse that they experienced decades ago is not an excuse for their behavior because they made a conscious choice. Scientists have found that babies aged between 19 and 21 months already know the difference between right and wrong. They understand fairness and they can apply it in different situations, so they already knew exactly what they were doing. A narcissistic personality disorder doesn't develop until around age 18. Their parents may have been neglectful or demanded perfection, but the narcissist still made a choice. Just as many of us who had had a similar upbringing chose to remain compassionate towards other people and it's difficult to believe that throughout their entire childhood they couldn't find any success in treating people right. But they made a conscious choice to seek power and control and to not care about anyone or anything but themselves. And it's likely that they felt as though they had nothing to lose. They weren't afraid of how it would affect their image of reputation or of the person that they would become and what they might otherwise lose in the process because they had nothing to lose. While what stops us from engaging in destructive behaviors and activities is being aware of everything that we could lose because we have values and morals, we believe in God, so we understand that we're meant to live in a certain way and that if we go against that we would lose favor or possession of power and honor. And it would affect us not only in this life but the next, but narcissists do not have this fear. They're not afraid to act out or abuse people because they have nothing to lose. So despite this character that they're displaying to you, they clearly don't believe because if they believe that there are consequences for the actions, they wouldn't act out in that way. So they really don't believe. They are lying. They may have friendships or relationships. At most people would fear losing that through unfriendliness or opposition. They would fear losing relationships that are based on shared feelings, interests or experiences but narcissists don't fear losing that. They have nothing to lose because all of their relationships have been unstable. They've probably never seen a stable relationship before, so they just view you as something temporary. They can engage in extreme behavior because they have nothing to lose. They treat you as an extension of themselves. And they project everything they hate about themselves onto you. So it's very easy for them to act out because they don't even value themselves. If they did, they would pay attention to the things they don't like about themselves and then they would try to improve. They act mean, aggressive and hostile because they have nothing to lose. They've never seen a stable relationship in their lives and they've never felt loved or valued by anyone. So they're not concerned about the reputation because they assume that even if they act out no one is going to care or notice because no one valued them to begin with and they never even valued themselves enough to refrain from engaging in that type of behavior because they have no identity. So they're not worried about their reputation which is why they're ready to leave and find a new identity and reputation somewhere else because they have no sense of loyalty. They have an inability to understand, recognize or value commitment and dedication because it never served them in the past and they've never seen it benefit anyone else which is how they can change their entire life because they have nothing to lose. They don't value their reputation with you because they can shape shift and start a new reputation somewhere else which is what separates us from them. It's how they can be unfriendly and oppositional. While we choose to refrain from engaging in that type of behavior because we have a lot to lose not only in this life but in the next life as well our reputation is very important to us which is why we do our best to maintain it because we don't want to lose it which is why we must avoid narcissists because if you haven't experienced it yet being involved with narcissists will not only affect the reputation that other people have of you but it will also affect the reputation that you have of yourself it will begin to affect your credibility which is why you have to separate yourself from them and go no contact because otherwise they will get you caught up in things that you may never have thought you would have been a part of they will bring you down with them and it's because they have nothing to lose anything to gain from you but again it's not because they value you as a person you're just a means to an end they come around you only to take or destroy you because they do see you as something useful and advantageous but that's clearly not how you see them that's why you're watching my videos because you've identified a problem you see that their behavior is dysfunctional you're giving out but you're getting nothing back in return and the only reason you may have stuck around this long is because you fell for their lies and future faking or maybe because you felt bad for them but at some point you need to take a step back to see how this is affecting you because why they may have had nothing to lose you have a lot to lose and if you've been around them this long you've probably already lost a lot and it is time for you to stop losing because you are never going to win with a narcissist you are never going to be good enough for them you could be more than enough for someone else just not for them because even if there was a perfect person walking the earth they would still find a way to destroy them and it's because they're envious and jealous and they have nothing to lose which is why they're never going to take accountability for anything they do we take accountability because we believe that we can improve and be a better person for them we have a lot to lose so we have a lot to give but they don't take accountability because they already know that they can't improve or be better for you if they could do that they would have done it a long time ago that's what any narcissist would do to trap and enslave their supply which is all they're really trying to do they don't do that because they can't as I said they have nothing to lose and they have everything to gain from you which is why they rely so heavily on their mediation and deception because that's all that they have to give when in actuality that is nothing of value because the only result in you losing more in the end they manipulate you only so that they can take something from you but sometimes they don't even do that because they know it's just not going to cut it it's not going to be good enough so sometimes you won't even get the illusion from the narcissist all you will get is abuse or sometimes they will even discourage you before you catch on to the fact that you are being fooled when a narcissist knows you're not going to fall for their games they will drop you like a hot potato the game only continues if they think you're susceptible and if that doesn't work they will find something else because they don't want to take responsibility for the consequence of their actions it's too painful and unpleasant for them so instead they will get upset and blame you for their own wrongdoing to where you become like their parent or caretaker and you are left to enforce obedience of what appears to be an unruly child while they have all of these justifications and excuses because they like character they have no inner sense of value if they did they would take responsibility on their own they would want to be better so this is why they don't want to accept what they've done or the consequences of their actions because they wouldn't know where to start they wouldn't know how to compensate for their actions considering the fact that they are typically the cause of everything that goes wrong at times it may appear as though someone else was at fault but under careful observation it will always come back to them because they really have nothing to lose other than their shame which they are constantly trying to project on to you which is why it's so important for them to not be to blame for anything it's a defense mechanism because they don't want to accept that they've done anything wrong even if it was conscious and deliberate they want no parts of themselves they don't want to be involved in anything that they have caused even though it may appear at times that they understand it's only so that they can take the heat off of themselves in that moment or it's to make you think that you're on the same page so that they can later pull the rug out from underneath you when you least expect it because that is how they get supply, they are master manipulators they are the orchestrators of everything that goes wrong and yet they are also waiting for you at the outer perimeters of the blast so that they can be the judge, jury and the executioner it just prevents them from being eaten alive by their own self-hater and shame because if there's one thing they can't stand it's when you constantly try to convince them that they're a bad person or that they have done terrible things which is why what you really need to do is set strong boundaries you need to define what is okay and what is not okay for you and you need to make it clear that you're not going to continue to engage in that behavior that hurts you the problem is that as soon as you do that it will trigger the narcissist abandonment wound and they will fear that you will reject to expose them so by that point they will either rip off their mask and show you who they are in an attempt to intimidate you into not leaving or they will be forced to accept that the jig is up their game is over and then they will become more covert where they will gossip about you and spread rumors behind your back they will enforce their flying monkeys and start a smear campaign in an attempt to control you and by this point there is nothing you can do to get through to them you can't make them care about things that they don't care about because by now they've already disowned these native parts of themselves and assigned them to you which shows that they have no intention of changing or improving anything because they don't even accept themselves and if a person doesn't accept themselves with the things that they've done in the past there's really no hope for them they're never going to change they're always going to be that way many people have wasted years of their lives trying to get them to understand or to get them to care about things that can actually benefit them in the long run but it doesn't work you just need to recognize that you are not responsible for their actions and it is not your duty to punish them for their wrongdoing it's not even possible for you to make them care that they have caused you pain or distress or that they are even responsible because you can't expose them to the entire world you can't prevent them from hurting other people if that's what they choose to do and you can't prevent other people from falling for their lies in a relation if you make it your mission to punish or expose the narcissist it's only going to hurt you because it keeps them as the center of your world where everything has to revolve around them it keeps you trapped in pain especially if they've done something terrible or illegal when you try to punish or expose them it does nothing to them they don't even care they will find a way to adapt to it because they thrive in dysfunction anyway they enjoy it it's just a part of the ride it's like an adventure to them and it just gives them even more reasons to despise you which in turn makes them feel more comfortable and sane and it will just give them even more motivation and feel to move on to the next situation which is very easy for them to do because they have nothing and they value nothing so what have they got to lose which is why the only thing you can do is remove yourself from the situation you need to hold yourself accountable so that you can protect yourself because that's where your power is while their lack of accountability will lead to a culture of blame, low morale and decreased productivity often as a result of an adequate or ineffective communication and they will experience dissatisfaction with their level of responsibility so while things may look bad for you in the beginning in time it will begin to level out and it will affect them more than it affects you which is why they always come back with a hoover or they use smear campaigns to control you because yes they already understand their wrongdoing and the effects that it had on you and they know that your accountability is going to lead to your success while their lack of accountability will eventually lead to their demise thank you for watching if you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up share your thoughts in the comment section hit the subscribe button to receive the notifications if you would like to support the channel you can donate at payable.me-survivor you can book a one on one with me on the website it's Narxiviver the code UK thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon